The Commercial Break - First Cousins, Once Put Back

Episode Date: March 27, 2023

If your first cousin has a baby with your other first cousin, does that make the baby your second cousin, once put back? Bryan & Krissy take on the rest of the Cousin Fuckers on their quest for acceptance, from both the state and Cousin Kathy, who will henceforth be known as the cousin of the incest cousins. The TCB intro song is, in fact, jammy! Once again, cocaine! Do you wipe your ass? If so, how? The ever present fight: Bryan vs Poop One woman on tiktok is getting rid of toilet paper in favor of a "family washcloth" The Great Toilet Paper Treaty of 2023 Back to the cousin fuckers! "You’re not supposed to fuck your first cousin, it’s just gauche” -Bryan Green, 2023 Top of our political list in America: let cousins fuck! It’s just icky First up, political backing Next on their list: Cousin Kathy Kathy doesnt want to be the cousin of the incest cousins! They *still* don’t understand science Kathy is a Karen Icon See you later? No. Aaaaaaand they’re pregnant LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh lovely pussy, oh pussy, my love, what a beauty, oh pussy, you are, you are, what a beautiful pussy, you are On this episode of the commercial break, if they're first cousins and there's a second cousin and a third cousin once removed Right, the one is a child of cousin fuckers If that's your cousin, how do you, how do you, that's, that's my cousin. That's getting it gets complicated. Once incested. That's incested. That instead of once removed, once put back, that's my first cousin once put back.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, guys, again, welcome back to the commercial break, I am Brian Green, this is my dear friend, and beautiful co-host, Chris, enjoy home the best of you, Chris. Best of you, Brian! Best of you, I'm the F***, Cassie Oliver. Which you don't see as a Chrissy and I are dancing to the music, we also have to listen to the obnoxiously long intro song, like you do I still love that I do I can't get over it the song the intro in the outro song got me hooked

Every time I don't edit the show anymore, but every time that I That I prepped the show basically to be edited and I get to the end I can't help but listen to the conclusion of our own podcast because I'm like that song is so jammy It's like the Saturday Night Live exit song remember that remember when yeah, what was it GG? What was that guy's name the guy G love and special sauce G G G. Yeah, not GGL GGL Everyone GGL and cut his own penis off live on the SNL Whatever his name was the guy with the long hair,

back in the 90s and early 2000s. The blonde guy who played the guitar. And they just had that song that was so smooth and jazzy, but rocked real hard on the outro. And everyone would say goodbye. Bye, thanks for watching. We're going to do cocaine with the warm Michaels. That's for those of you keeping score on how many episodes

of the commercial break have the word cocaine in them, everyone. So it reminds me of that song every time I hear it, I'm like, wow, that's a really kick ass exit song. I love it. I've had half, and I've heard it in other places, by the way. We're not the only one who's used that song. Okay.

So fuck off, guys, it's our song. We've maintained rights to it under the international law of Chrissy's 21 EPM book. So we're sitting here listening to the notebook, it's law. So we're sitting here listening to the music and then we dance, you know, those are the way to kind of, you know, wake us up and, you know, have some fun. And I'm always doing the podcast pro fish dance. I'm like that.

Sometimes you do a kick. Sometimes I do, I could flip kick. Just to remind myself that I'm still alive, then I could do it. I would have been 90 like, ah! I went to the chiropractor today, and when you go to the chiro,

I mean, not to chiropractor, the orthopedic today. Yes. To get seen about my back. And when you're going to the orthopedic to be seen for your back, it's likely you're middle aged. It's likely you're middle aged. You're going downhill. At least. Yeah, at least I think I'll go for my prostate. That's next week. Let me ask

you a question, very personal question. Oh, okay. We're going to get super personal here on the commercial break. Do you wipe your ass after you shit? Yes. Do you use wet wipes? Yes. Wet wipes first or dry toilet paper first or do you use both or just one? Dry and then wet. You go dry and then wet.

I go wet and then dry is what I do. I like to wet it up and get it nice and clean. Yeah. Make sure there's no extra material laying around and then I go dry it off. And then I go dry. Yeah, then I go dry. And that way I make sure that I have the most cleanly of anuses.

I mean, everyone has a stinky anus, but I want to make sure mine is as least stinky as possible. Yeah, especially since poop grosses me out no matter who's it is the other day. I was in the bathroom, you know, for the first 45 minutes of the day. And that's also an indication you're getting out. The longer you spend on the toilet, the older you are. So I'm in there and then the kids eat breakfast, but they always are always trying to open.

Like I have this water closet, you know, it's a door, just a toilet, a small little room. Yeah, and a fart fan in the whole nine yards. So Matias and Mia. Da-y, da-y. You know, Matias knows how to open the door. So he opens it up. I'd probably say two out of, two or three out of five days

a week, I have friends when I'm shitting. And they don't seem to mind the stink like I do. Like I'm always doing a courtesy flush for myself. But the other day, I think Mia caught on because Mia goes, ew. Stinky. And I was like, it is she go daddy. That smells bad. She left she ran out the door and I was like see you later. Yeah, maybe that's cured her now of coming in

I think everyone that had a father had that was at home for any period of time if you have a father that hung around You there is a moment in time and I'm sure that I can remember it I can remember the moment when I realized how bad my dad's shit stunk and that I've been hung around. There is a moment in time, and I'm sure that I can remember it. I can remember the moment when I realized how bad my dad's shit stunk and that I didn't want to be anyone to hear that faster when it happened. I remember the day. I don't know why. It's one of those like formative days when I was like, wow, it's burned into my nasal

passages of what it is. But we use toilet paper because there is no really other acceptable way of cleaning your anus except for maybe a bidet. A bidet, which I want. I want one too. So when Spotify comes calling with that big contract, we'll put in there a bidet. Yeah. Have you seen those ones that you can get that like a touch onto your toilet?

Yeah, I don't trust that. Me either. I know I'm like, I can see myself trying to hook that thing up, water spraying every way. It's the big mess. Here's my, here's my concern. It's not that the, yes, I agree that the big mess, because I can't hook anything up the right way.

That's not me. I'm not that guy. I'm not tim the tool time Taylor. So, my main concern is this. Thank you for using your bidet. I will now go directly into your canvas to clean out your lower intestine. I'm afraid that thing's going to go rogue and it's going to be like, oh, my ass, like shooting water. That I'm going to have a medical emergency

due to that properly in improperly installed fucking plastic today. When you sell a bidet for 20, but I've seen the real bidets. I've been to France. Oh, yeah, no, you're in the Spain. Oh, it has them. Yeah. And the first time I saw it, I thought that that was just a toilet without a top on it.

I was like, wow, what is that? How do you do that? But then Astrid, you know, said, no, that's a bidet. They're pretty common. You know, I'm just had to get educated like any American. And then I turned it on and I watched how it worked and I was like, oh, that could work. So I've used a bidet in the past before.

I think it does a pretty good job. But there's only a few acceptable ways to clean your ass besides taking a shower or being in a bidet because I've done that. I've gone straight shower. Just go like straight shower. Like when it's a not messy situation, you just go straight shower.

And you go, okay, I'm just, or if you're getting ready to get into the shower, but when it's a not messy situation, you just go straight shower. And you go, okay, I'm just, or if you're getting ready to get into the shower, right, it's always a good time to read yourself. Yeah, jump right in, clean it all off, whatever. But there is a lady on TikTok who is pioneering a brand new way to clear your rear. Really? Clear your rear.

That's where everyone should turn for that kind of exact advice. TikTok, yeah, where the world is learning how to be an asshole. You wanna read about it real quick? And then we'll get to the cousin fucker. Hold on one second. I know you're all probably coming back to hear about cousin fuckers.

I know at least two of you are returning to hear about cousin fucker. A mom is on a roll after posting a now viral video about why she decided to wipe toilet paper from her life. Shannon Rose, who uses the handle Shannon Rose one on TikTok and she, no whatever, I'm not gonna give her a plug, has over 600 views.

Letting her followers know why she swapped out toilet paper for the reusable quote unquote, family cloth. Oh, we saw that before on one of those shows that we did. Oh, a real extreme cheap scapes. Yeah. But she was just folding out one, like one piece of paper. And if you went over the allotted piece of paper that you had to one wipe, then you could

use the family rag that was sitting next to it. You remember that? I thought that the rags went into the bucket and then they had, then they washed them. They do, but they also allowed that to have a washer. Yeah, that's right. They were out back, letting the dog piss on their clothes, calling it, you know, the old saying don't piss on me until they're it's raining. These people were like, the cheapest of cheap. They were literally waiting till it rained to wash their clothes. They just hung them outside and threw some, you know, dawn on it or whenever it was going on. It's crazy. The Colorado mom performers wash

cloths because she thinks regular toilet paper is gross. Adding that it gets crumbly and stuck. What kind of shit are you having, lady? Crumbly and stuck. Everyone's in a blue moon. I have problems. Also, we're going to toilet paper. That's right. You never ever go cheap on toilet What kind of shit are you having lady crumbly and stuck everyone's in a blue moon. I have problems also We're gonna toilet paper. That's right. You never ever go cheap on toilet paper cannot or Paper towels those two things in life you just Like I can just imagine there's a couple things that you would want top grade right if you're getting a I don't know. Let's say you're getting a liver transplant,

you want a top notch clean liver. You don't want the old guy at the end of the bar's liver. You know what I'm saying? Just like that scenario, and equally as important in life, you cannot use cheap toilet paper. Yeah, toilet paper is a must, must be top. Must.

It was always so flabbergasted. You know, remember we worked at that place, that one place. Yeah. We worked that one place and they, it was like, I already told this story right around 20 minutes after everybody was supposed to get to the office.

It was a line at the bathroom and every guy with his newspaper and his blackberry and cup of coffee and you know cigarettes. Who knows what was going on in there? Everyone is in there just taking turns shitting and shitting and shitting for like an hour this one on. You couldn't go in the bathroom and you know cigarettes who knows what was going on there everyone is in there just taking turns Shit and then shit and then shitting for like an hour this one on you couldn't go in the bathroom and use that literally We've got to go to other floors just to pull you out because the stink in there was so bad There's nothing that there's nothing that sets off a project sales projection meeting like knowing how your the guy said next He is ass

Smells you know what I'm saying? That's all I gotta say. It's one of those things you did that don't need to know. Yes. But it always flabbergasted me that the janitorial services or the people who own the building would not spring for the more expensive toilet paper because it's clear that if you use cheaper toilet paper, like airport toilet paper,

that you're just gonna use more toilet paper. Yes, why not get the good stuff and use less of it? And I know the reasoning is that when you have these commercial toilets, you know, you got only so much shit, stuff can flow through the pipes. But honestly, yeah, I go to the airport and God forbid I have to do number two. God forbid the urge is upon me. If that's the case, I'm literally using half a roll because that's why you carry the wipes with you. I don't want my finger to bust through, you know what I'm saying?

That's why you carry the wipes with you. That's right, and I do. Oh, do I. So, you know, and there's different cultures around the world. There's probably some cultures that use no toilet paper whatsoever. There are certainly in a lot of Latin American countries, you throw the toilet paper into the garbage pale

because the pipes aren't made to handle toilet paper. And so I know some people in my own life that you have to remind them when they come to the United States, you have to say that can go in the toilet. Costa Rica was like that when we were just there. Oh yeah, but I still throw it down the toilet. No Arrico was like that when we were just there with you. But I still throw it down the toilet. No, I just, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, and then every bathroom smells a certain way when you go,

like you could be in the nicest of hotels in certain places in South America, the nicest of hotels. And you go into like the common bathroom area, like down near in the lobby, and it smells a certain way, and you know, it's because they're not throwing toilet in the toilet paper, in the toilet paper.

So I understand there's different cultures and stuff like that, but this is one TikTok trend that Chrissy and Brian cannot sign off on. No. You do not use a shared cloth to wipe your ass. So she was sharing this cloth? So it's the entire family uses it. You use the one?

Yes. What? Hold on, let me see this. I thought you meant at least it was an individual cloth. Rose, no. The family cloth. In a two minute video, she starts to gag after explaining the reasons why she

may she started to gag why she started gag at her own invention why she made the changes why she made the change to reusable cloth she and his family uses a bit day to wash okay and then uses the fabric to dry off as water and no no this doesn't work water and cloth just cleans you way better. The recycle for a friendly woman creates her own cloth by cutting up wash cloth and surging the edges. What does surging mean? I don't know.

I don't know either. She also uses reusable cloth to blow her nose instead of Kleenex. Another item she no longer purchases. No, no, no, no. We at TCB do not sign on off on this. We are not behind this. We cannot get behind this movement.

Chris, he put it in the book. It's a great toilet paper treaty of 2023. They're in the book. Let's agree. I know the world's on fire and the glaciers are melting and freshwater's gonna kill us all when it rises up above the mountains of Tennessee. But I agree we need to do something about that. But until we find a solid replacement for toilet paper and wall and actual disposable wipes,

you've got to continue to wipe your ass, folks, with something that has not been used by someone else to wipe their ass. Yeah, I mean, I, I maybe could get behind a personalized one, but not reusable. Like I have to do wash it up every time. But we're like gonna put it, I don't wanna put it in the washer with my clothing. I don't wanna put it in the washer with the, I don't even wanna put it in the washer

that's going to wash my clothing. We're gonna go in its own load. Oh yeah, load indeed. That's what's, like my daughter's got a load in her diaper. I mean, this is crazy. Think about the minutia of this. Who's going to go around collecting the family cloths to be washed? Who's going to handle the wash?

How are we going to know it's 100% clean? Are we going to put clothes in afterwards or we're going to have to start another cycle? See, this causes a problem that unintentionally you're trying to solve, which is... Exactly. You're going to be using more water and detergent. Water and detergent, yeah. Because you better believe. I don't exactly know how to do laundry,

but I know that you put three, five, three to seven scoops of whatever- Three to seven. Don't worry, Kris, I'm, it's my having to close every other day it's because I just burn holes in it. I know you put a couple of scoops in there, whatever it is for a full load,

but if I'm just washing five of my family washcloths, ass wipes, ass cloths, if I'm doing my ass cloth load, you better believe that I'm putting five to ten scoops of detergent in there, because I want to make sure that there's zero chance that whatever's on that cloth is going to spread around the household. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it could be incineratory. I know that this is a new low even for the commercial break to be talking about ass costs.

But no, it's not. It's far from the lowest. Episodes one through 50 episodes, 101 through 124. 51 through 100. I think cousin fuckers might be the, but it's sweet, come on. I think cousin fuckers might be the sweetest. But this is an important topic

that I think we all need to talk about because I wanna see this trend. I don't wanna go to someone's house, have an emergency situation. By the way, my stomach is like a steel. If I go into someone else's house, if I'm traveling, no, it's the opposite. I zip right up.

It's like four knocks. Yeah, I dry right up. Yeah, I could be on like a emergency diurea level number five out of five. And as soon as I walk into someone else's house, I'm like, it's done. Yeah, I don't think I farted in front of Astrid for the first 10 months because I just my body has this thing. You know what I'm saying? I wake up in the of Astrid for the first 10 months because I just my body has this thing You know what I'm saying? I'd wake up in the middle of the night with terrible stomach pain Because even my subconscious mind would say don't let one fly don't let one fly this early. Yeah, it's going so well

You're walking a bird wire there, buddy. Don't fall off So please I don't want to go to your house and see, you know, use the ass cloth. I don't want to see like a basket. Please use ass cloth. I don't want to see that. That's not coming to a house near me. Please. And to Shannon Rose, whomever you may be, you seem like a perfectly lovely lady. I'm going to send you some toilet. Actually, you know what, Chrissy and I would like to start a TCB fund me page. Not sure where the money is going to go, but you could send it anyway. We'd like to get Shannon Rose, years worth of toilet paper. If she'll accept it, you can just contact us here at the commercial break. And us and our fans will certainly donate

generously to your Ask Cleaning campaign over there and give you some toilet paper for proper cleaning. What do you think? Does that sound like a deal? Sure. Okay. Let's do it. Alright, last episode, Chrissy and I. What a be funny if Shan contacted us and was like, well, take your money.

That will have smells like ass. You want your house to smell like Nico? Start using ass cloths. I'm telling you right now, It's gonna be a Nico situation. All right, last episode, Chrissy and I were reviewing cousin fuckers. That's right, there's no other way, better way to explain that.

There's a couple out in Utah. Salt Lake City. Salt Lake City that has been making its rounds on the internet. Chrissy and I kind of shine the light on this about a year ago, I think. And now we're coming back to it because we found an extended documentary,

a television show or clip about these two first cousins, verified first cousins that were each other's first kiss. They were each other's first love, but they were told by their parents, of course, they couldn't just like Romeo and Romeo's cousin. Just like Romeo and Romeo's cousin, they were kept apart because, of course, you're not supposed to fuck your's cousin. Just like Romeo and Romeo's cousin, they were kept apart because of course you're not supposed to fuck your first cousin, it's just ghost. Right. I'm not, I'm sure it happens often, but these two have made a spectacle of this. Well, the distinguished network, we, we came in and swooped.

It swooped up to two. It's a mini series, yeah. It wasn't we formally the own network? I thought it was women's entertainment. Well, women's entertainment, indeed. How many women are having, I mean, what does this say about the people have women's entertainment?

No, I don't know. The thing is, Well, I mean, it's like the learning channel TLC. It's not actually the learning channel anymore. I mean, I guess you're learning about crazy stuff. TLC, it's just like KFC. And you know how everyone says KFC changed their name to just KFC so that they could avoid being called chicken because it's not chicken.

TLC, stop calling yourself the learning channel a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah. But one of the things I think is notable here and that we should remind ourselves, is these two are publicly seeking a lot of attention. They're not hiding in the corner and being mistreated by the media. They're trying to control the narrative by being very out there.

My opinion is they want to television show they got one, a 30 minute special at least. And they, in this documentary, which you can go watch us do this and you can see the actual visuals at youtube.com slash the commercial break, these two make a total and complete show of PDA anywhere to take it.

Oh God, I know I was laughing to myself about that. I was thinking, do you think the producer producer or whoever's behind the camera is like, hey, could you We need more tongue. Yeah, we need more tongue. Could you give me a favor? We need to read we need to get that dry-humping scene from a different angle Can you throw her back up on the kitchen counter and dry-humper? Because that's about as sanitary as ass-cloths just letting you know Dry-humping your cousin on your fucking counter. It's crazy. Yeah, these two were doing a lot of pda

and not the like, you know, kissing and touching and loving and hugging. They were sticking each other's tongues down his throat. He was grabbing her from behind a grindener. It's grabbing her boobs on the way up the stairs. Remember? First of all, what's going on over a wee? Well, who's allowing this soft core porn to get on your airwaves?

But second of all, you know, even in my most pda of relationships, I wasn't showing this kind of opinion. No, yeah. I did data a couple of like voyeuristic women though, and we did have some relations, right, in public places. But we weren't trying to make a show of it I think the excitement that was the excitement of it and it was exciting

There was no doubt about it like one time I had sex on the top of a McDonald's not even kidding on the roof of a McDonald's It was about as romantic as you can imagine. Oh, yeah, sounds very it was not there's gravel up there It's all gravel. It's hard to get a hold of any. It's just a whole situation. Anyway, so Chrissy and I started part one of the cousin fuckers last time you you heard from us. And we'd like to review the rest of it. What do you think Chrissy? I think so. Let's get on it. Finish it up. Hey everybody out there in the podcast universe, it's time for the dreaded commercial break inside the commercial break. It's season number four, you've heard it all before, so let's get to it quickly.

You can text us or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-TCB-8383. Questions, comments, concerns or content ideas, send them to 855-TCB-8383 toll free from anywhere in the world. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com to listen to any of the audio, watch any of the video, or send us a message, hit the contact us button. Instagram and TikTok at the Commercial Break. And now YouTube videos the same day they air on the audio feed, they'll air youtube.com slash the commercial break. Chrissy and I are very grateful every time air youtube.com slash the commercial break.

Chrissy and I are very grateful every time you choose to listen to the commercial break. If you're ever in the market for our sponsors, products, or services, all we ask is that you use the specialized URL's or codes. Thanks again for being part of the TCB family. Now let's hear from those sponsors and we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. and we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. I mean, no time like the president to review some more cousin fuckers and just a reminder of where we left off, they had been petitioning out in the park, they had actually gone out in the park and they brought this petition and they were asking people that walked by

to sign their petition to make cousin fucking legal in the state of Utah because there are many states where it's legal to have sex with your cousin, completely legal. There's no law in the books. Utah. Of all places. Of all places. Isn't one of them.

Isn't one of them. So they for some reason just don't want to move out of town, I guess they're really looking forward to living in Utah. So they're some reason just don't want to move out of town, I guess. They're really looking forward to living in Utah. So they're, I don't get this. Why don't you just move the fuck in Wyoming? Why don't you do that? Colorado. I mean, yeah, unless you have a job that absolutely keeps you there. And then here's, I don't know. Here's just a little piece of advice from TCB. Don't tell people your cousins. Oh, it's sad. Yeah, who cares?

No one's gonna find out. If your family members are out on Facebook making a big stink about this, how big do you think their sphere of influence really is? Unless you have a, unless Conan O'Brien is your uncle, right? I mean, come on. Paces me off. All right, here they are going up to the state capitals.

Yeah, to get their petition. To get their petition, I guess registered. Look down. Yeah. Where's the cousin fuckers? Where's the executive committee on cousin fucking? After publicly sharing their story, they've secured an appointment with their state senator Todd Wiler.

They're hoping he'll have... I senator Todd Wiler. They're hoping he'll have. I'm Todd Wiler, state cousin, state senator, and proponent of cousin fucking advocate advocate of cousin fucking. We got a lot of problems in this country, but at the top of my list is the ability for one cousin to have sexual relations with another cousin. This is a petition we can all get behind, isn't it? Literally. Change the law in Utah and legalize first cousin marriage.

Though they can be married in 19 other states, in Utah, their union is still illegal. They're fighting the good fight. Yeah, they're fighting the good fight. Yeah, they're fighting the good fight. Yes. In the state, like least likely to pay attention to them. I mean, Utah has outlawed polygamy when a lot of other states. I mean, I don't think there's a, I don't think there's many states that allow it, but Utah, it's actually not legal.

Right. Polygamy isn't. It's just a history. It's given the Mormon church a bad name, all these Yahoo's running around, you know, with 58 different wives and starting cults. You know, because in the past, Pollygamy was practiced here and we don't want to amplify that stigma. So a lot of times in the United States when people talk about first cousins marrying, they're usually talking about backwater states where people aren't all that educated

or all that sophisticated and Utah is educated. We are sophisticated. So I'm going to listen to them and going to keep an open mind and we'll see what happens. Says the guy from the state that yeah, back water, back water, back water, back water. I heard back water, back woods, back water. That what happens when you stop brushing your teeth? Angie Michael, welcome to the Senate. So your father and her mother are brother and sister. My mother and her father are brother and sister. My mother and her father and brother and sister are.

Let me show you my telling you. You're so proud. I know they're so proud. My cousin, Zunko's brother is Bob, and she's, and I'm fucking my first cousin. What do you think about that? He's like telling this story, no, it cares about. First of all, second of all, where's all that PDA now guys?

Waiting for that to break. They're saving them, yeah. Only connections very important. I mean, where's all that PDA now guys? Waiting for that to break. They're saving them, yep. The only connection is very important. I mean, it's like very tight, and it almost clannish even. Very strong LDS. Some of the people I've talked to about this in preparation for our meeting today have said, well, why don't they just move to another state then? Correct.

So, correct. It's a great question. After saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying, after saying yeah after saying I just have a I like watching it on porno but I those are actors I don't want to see it actually happen first of all second of all he's right when your state senator is telling you why don't you go to another state and get married you're basically getting kicked out of the state you know what I'm saying oh yeah we have family here. So what you're saying is you're telling us your home.

Yeah, you're telling us our home. We live here and we don't feel like we should get out of here. We want you to move back of the mood. I don't mean to offend you, but when I talk to people about this, the word I hear a lot is icky. Well, the ickyness is icky. Yeah, icky, illegal, immoral, E.E. E.L.E. Moral Unconstitutional Against the 10 Commandments Motional it is

Thing is in the motion And it's like how do you Sway someone's emotion if they just have an From the outset it's Iki yeah, yeah, so we definitely have a work So Rhett so we definitely I mean we definitely understand about this. By the way, she has her finger directly in my anus right now.

We like to have sex all the time. Then delving into that icky-ness, just say, look at, why are we an outlier? If you can get two or three well-known organizations to say either we think this is a good idea or there's no harm in this I mean that well-known organizations are gonna get behind this the girl scouts. I mean come guys. Yeah Is that pito or did you say pita?

I'm not sure animals and you know, I thought they were Yeah, I'm not sure where you get the Shriners to give my dude Scottish right. I'm not sure who's the Shriners to give my you Scottish right. I'm not sure who's gonna get my deal this one. No It's gonna be easier said than done, but good luck to you. I'll I'll wait to hear from you Have a great day. Thanks You as well, she didn't say a word. You notice that? That was productive welcome to welcome to, we're the women required.

I love too that he said that our family's here. It sounds like their family doesn't like them. Their family doesn't like them. They don't talk to any of the members of their family. They just said that. And the only good reason they gave is our family is here. And we live here. Yeah, that's not a great.

Those aren't great reasons. It's 2023. You can work from anywhere. You can do anything. Go to another state where they allow it. I think they allow it here in Georgia. Come to Atlanta. We'll put you on the commercial break. Post taste. But we do use ass

costs around here. I don't think you're going to mind, but you know, for anybody else you bring, we're going to use ass costs. The first cousins are enlated to have one political backing, but will they be able to get it? No, they're late. They just high-fived. Settle down British lady with pretty accents. I think that this is it. It was like, yeah, and it's not gonna happen. Yeah, he was like, I wait to hear from you.

Listen, if you can get two to three thousand notable political activists behind you, then I'll read the text message that you sent me earlier today. Then and only then, you know what I'm saying? He was so far from giving his, because he's on camera and he knows better than that, he's not going to do that. He's never going to do that. He's lying to you, he's a politician. Sectants, they crave from their own family. Now they must try to convince the biggest obstacle of the mall. Their own first cousin, Kathy. I don't want to be known as the cousin of the incest cousin. She's a big boy taken.

Yeah. Fire. I don't necessarily agree with Kathy's tactics. But I got to say her reasoning is sound. I also do not want to be known as the cousin of the cousin fuckers. Hey, are you Brian from the cousin fuckers? Yeah, that's me, but I'm not trying to associate

my love cousin fucker, man, cousin fucker thousand, I'm fucking my cousin right now. Hater in our family, she won't talk to me. She told me you're a stranger to me. Well, she's too busy brushing her hair. Yeah, this is a brush, right? It's a dry hair, the entire episode. She's told us to f off numerous times and I'd really like to talk to her face to face

to figure out like why all this hatred? No one else is as hateful as you. Where's it coming from? And now they're going to get their chance as Kathy's agreed to meet on home turf in Wyoming. Canter from Wyoming? Well, where it's legal to have sex with your cousin probably. These their most outspoken relatives, so their hope is to win her over and the rest of the family will follow. Sometimes gone by, it's possible that she has kind of changed her mind. I don't anticipate that.

I don't ever think that'll be true, but you know, nothing like banging your head against a wall to wake up on a Monday. This is the last chance to try and reunite their close-knit family, but it's going to take a special kind of persuading. That's why we've brought an additional good-looking cousin to have sex with Kathy. It's... Kathy's just angry, she doesn't fuck,

she's not fucking the cousin, you know what I'm saying? I wanna try to treat her with kid gloves to see if I can really coax her truth. You know, is that what you did with your wife? But Will Cousin Caffee soften her stance when she discovers there may be a baby in the mix, or will she double down and keep up the fight? It's crunch time for married first cousins and your Michael.

They've traveled all the way to Wyoming to meet their... They traveled over one and a half hours all the way to Wyoming. To convince them that having sex with your first cousin is perfectly fine. We find. Happy. As the family naysayer, she's the key cynic. They need to win over. So the rest is a creepy, that's creepy. He is so creepy. He is so creepy, but you know what else is creepy? I just got to say, like, that I find at times can be creepy.

When you are out and there's a couple and they come and one of the couple, one of the persons in the couple keeps staring at the other person and nodding their head every time they say something, like they're sick of fan, like they're just waiting for something to come out of their mouth. Do you have met those people?

No. I have. Okay. And obviously, I'm not going to use the names, but there is a couple that I know that I interact with on a somewhat regular basis that when they're together, the man is always speaking on behalf of the couple, right?

I mean, the woman can speak, I guess, she doesn't often, but she is always staring at him. She's always like glaring at him and she's always butted up next to him. So it looks like a puppy dog that never got pet. Like it's just, it's disturbing to me. I'm sorry. It sounds like it.

Makes me feel like someone's being taken hostage or something like, I had a intervene. The family will follow. Family's extremely important to us. We want to fix it. We love her. We hope that she loves us. So it's really important that we get her

to accept what we're doing here and drop whatever beef that she has. Who knows what kind of attitude that she loves us, so it's really important that we get her to accept what we're doing here and drop whatever beef that she has. Who knows what kind of attitude that she's gonna have. I hope she's very calm, I hope she's rational. And I'm just... She drives a monster truck through the park. That was amazing. Go to hell, cousin McGurth! That would be amazing. She comes with like a chain, so.

I'm gonna kill you, mother fuckers. It's gonna approach it very objectively and try to not be emotional about anything. And just maybe we'll educate someone today. Maybe that's what this will be. This will be a teaching session for some- Look how cute it will be. Yeah, it'll be a teaching session.

He's got he's got. God gave boys a penis and women of vagina. He's like stoically looking all the end of the park. He's like, we're just gonna keep it cool in the justice today. We're not gonna get emotional about anything. And we're gonna consider it an opportunity to teach somebody.

That's why I brought these special diagrams made by me and my wife in our bedroom. Because in fucking, unlike what you might hear, is just like real fucking. Yeah. Our goal here is to mend fences. There would be no need for hysterics.

I mean, it says something that she's even willing to meet with us, that she is cooperating on some level. Yeah, it says that there's a television camera there that probably made her. Yeah. What is he doing? They've been waiting for the Justin is balls or something. I don't know. He's hiding his peanuts. He's afraid he's going to get kicked. Kathy looks upset.

She looks born upset. You know what I'm saying? Like there's just some people that were born upset. Kathy looks. I'm just going to say Kathy looks a little car-ish, but you gotta go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. I'm not gonna describe. Sing for- oh sorry. It's chance for months. I'm just gonna start out believing that she's gonna be okay with it. I just...men those fences.

You guys just keep talking to yourselves randomly. There's not a lot of conversation. Into the air. I'm just gonna tell her how I feel and how much love we have between each other and everything will be all right. She stares off into the sunset. Here comes Kathy. Here comes Kathy with her big gulp. Yeah.

Kathy showed up in her beige minivan with her big gulp. And she's holding her keys and wallet. Beware the woman who holds her keys in her wallet in one hand. A Blick and lawmakers sway Kathy. And what will she think about them trying for a baby of their own? Armed with their genetic test results, can they sway cousin Kathy? Hi Kathy. Hello. How are you doing?

Fine. Well, I don't think she came with an open heart and an open mind. You look nice. Thanks. First of all, thank you for coming out here. We just wanted to have a regular chat with you and maybe at the end of this or maybe sometime during that we can come to kind of

a better understanding and agreement. Let me just... Agreement about what? What does he need to have her agreement for? I don't know. Someone's not happy with my lifestyle, Focom. Yeah. Focom. Yeah.

Fuck him. Exactly. You know how many people I've said that to you since I started the commercial break? That's a lot of my friends. Lots of family members. And a couple listeners, actually. Personally, like imagine your mind. It's just like your best friend, the person you're most attracted to, person that you want

to be around the most. It just so happens to be your cousin. That's when you put the brakes on and back away. You can stop yourself. You have the same blood running for your veins. Yeah, and so you just go with someone else, even though you know this person would be the one that would make you the head. I have a cousin, as well as you guys.

I think she's beautiful. I don't wanna go f*** her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. True. I like the way Kathy operates.

You know what I'm saying? I like the cut of her gym. It's a big gym, but I like the cut of her gym. Because the truth is, she's right. You can just put the brakes on it. Yeah. They can still be a best friend, but you just don't take it there as that extra step.

I had a friend in my 20s, guy got married at 12 years old. You know those people that get right out of high school and they can't wait to get married, they think they're gonna live the rest of their lives happy. They're divorced before 25, all of them. But there were a young couple, I was a young guy and she was so fucking hot. And I knew, I knew, or at least I imagined in my head,

and I'm still imagining to this day that she was secretly in love with me. I felt like those vibes were coming across the table, right? And you know what I said to myself? I said, if you can get her alone for 10 minutes, do it. If not, put a stop to yourself, Brian. Put a stop to yourself. Yes. Put a stop to yourself. Yes, in front of other people.

Yeah, like my stomach, you just close that up. Just dry up that penis real quick. So it stops right there? It stops right there. So what's... I don't want to be known as the cousin of the incest cousins. Okay. I need a break. Break.

Isn't the incest cousins the people who sang that my left foot foot song? I think the incest cousins is an incredible name for a band. Take this name and use it incest cousins and close quad, close quad and incest cousins. Everyone decides to take a breath before trying again. Oh, I just feel bad. I feel bad. Like, she's freaking out. We brought her over here. And now she just took a set. I feel like maybe we're doing something bad to her. Five minutes later, she takes off. Five minutes later, she takes off. Five minutes later, she's driving away.

By the way, five minutes is not like an extended break. You didn't have to, on the actual documentary, they put five minutes later, you didn't have to put that. You have to put five minutes later. It's okay to just cut back to the scene. Have it been an hour and five minutes later, you could have put that. It's a little too dramatic.

Did you break? Much needed cigarette. Much needed cigarette, gotcha. Michael tries one more time for a reconciliation. I don't want anyone in my family to hate me or hate her. I don't hate it. Or just being upset with this stuff. Vokes will vocally hurt you. want anyone in my family to hate me or hate her. I don't hate it. Or just, you know, being upset with this stuff. Voke so vocally that it hurts you.

You know, it's one thing to be- It doesn't hurt me. It disgusts me. Guess not. Let me just ask you something. Yes, not. Gase not. I want a narrator here at the commercial.

Like I want like a British female narrator here. I feel like it would give us like a touch of class. The touch of class we've been looking for. Brian loves ass cloths. Brian takes a much needed break to wipe his ass with the new ass cloth. Personally, what do you have against it personally? I think it's gross.

My gross is in my toilet or the gross is in... It's worse than a toilet. It's worse than a toilet? Just a hole in the ground. Toilets make me throw up to be honest seriously and quietly. It's literally a sewer system full of your dick in her vagina. It's gross. It smells like rotten eggs.

Literally. But before that dreams are flushed down the drain, but gin, it's gross, it smells like rotten eggs. Literally. But before their dreams are flushed down the drain, there's just one last vital piece of news they hope to sway her with. Oh yeah, dropped it, I'm having a baby now. Nothing's gonna make Kathy happier than knowing. There's a cousin fucker, Jr. Come on the way.

I got cousin fuckers. And by the way, just curious, it's Chrissy and I were like, that's right here. Exactly. What is if if they're first cousins and there's a second cousin and a third cousin wants to remove right? The one is a child of cousin fuckers. If that's your cousin, how do you? What do you?

That's that's my cousin. It's getting it is complicated once incested. That's instead of once removed once put back. That's my first cousin once put back. I think I can get ready to drop the the testing. Oh no, the baby news. Yeah, they're doing testing it. They did the testing for the baby.

Yeah. Okay, you go for it. You do it. But they're doing testing it. They did the testing for the baby. Okay, you go for it. You do it. You're pregnant? No. Well, check this out. You know, as far as the genetics, they were. Check this out. We got our ancestry DNA done. They were. They were pregnant.

They were pregnant. They lost the baby. And then they went and got buried in the ancestry. She was four weeks pregnant and she buried it. I mean, it's, mean, it's awful. It's awful, it's awful. But it's weird too. Yeah, it is. Yeah.

But maybe not, maybe that's how she deals with her grief. Yeah, I don't know if they let you have it back though. No, I don't think they're giving that back. That probably falls under the. Maybe it happened at home. Possibly. And she buried it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's not. Okay. Yeah, we're going to move on. We should have there's even there's a third rail

at the commercial break. And if both Chrissy and I are wondering if we're touching it, we've definitely touched it. So uh, Miss Cara does her difficult and she went there on and but she was only like four to five weeks pregnant and they buried Something Yeah, and testing done well they test for everything it could possibly test for and she's only a carrier for cystic fibrosis One thing and I being tested for everything it could be tested for I only only cystic fibrosis only yeah only only only one thing and it's cystic fibrosis Yeah, you can not you die from cystic fibrosis

See I still don't even know how this proves that they it doesn't prove anything This is not a real test. Yeah, I got ancestry DNA test done. That's what they got. I mean come on This is not serious. This is like totally put on by the producers of this show to make it seem dramatic that they're okay to have children The truth is is that pregnancy is complicated no matter who you do it with and it can be life-threatening No matter who is delivering the baby or how much health care you have This is a serious thing and even if there's one chance something might go wrong you should consider that chance Yes, no genetic defects some chances of us having some sort of child with, you know, the nasty stuff they say is it's impossible because it's not impossible. It's virtually impossible.

But as far as being responsible, this is the best thing we can get to show you guys. Being responsible would be you guys not having children. Let's frame it a different way. I would say, okay, I'll must stop you right there because I don't care. Okay. That's a good thing. Once again proving that Kathy is one step removed from a Karen. Kathy's like a bad-ass Karen. You know what I'm saying?

The Karen that gets it right. Like the Karen that is still a Karen, but what she's saying is true. She's not defending like her right to wear a pineapple in public instead of a mask. She's actually saying something that's true. She's like, I'm disgusted and I don't care. You're not hurting my feelings, you're making me embarrassed.

I don't want you to have children because you just shouldn't have children, you're first cousins and then how do we explain that to the rest of the world and how do you explain that to your child, right? And then number three and most importantly, she knows that the test that they just showed her is completely irrelevant and actually bullshit. It doesn't mean that nothing can go wrong. I'm picturing the child's like family tree, you know, when you're drawing. Yeah. It just goes straight down line Bobby and daddy

Daddy and daddy and then it goes backwards My family tree branches are broken Okay, whatever you guys do in new privacy is your own thing But when you bring me into it when you bring the family into it That's when I get pissed. Okay, If you would have just kept it to yourself. I think you came here for a reason. I just like to hear what you do. I came here so you guys would just shut up about it and leave me alone. She's also again right. She is.

You know why she's right? Because these two fucking fools are out there shopping their own television show and embarrassing everybody in the family. Now, you shouldn't do something or not do something based on whether or not you're embarrassing somebody else. But I kind of get her point. Like, could you just like you're running around making a bunch of noise on TikTok every five seconds,

you know, on Mori and all these, the doctor Phil and all these other shows. Can't you guys just please keep it cool? You have to do it. You have to do it. Just keep it to yourself. Just do it like everybody else having sex with their cousin and shout out.

Shout out, sit down. Okay. All right. I came here with more of a hope. I think Angie came here with more of a hope of maybe reconciliation. I don't know why you would even think that to be honest with you. Just being hopeful. But she does not want that.

She wants to be left alone. So see you later. No. Maybe. Oh wow. Damn. There's the Karen part coming out. Wow. She says, is there any chance that you could like stop making so much noise about

this that you just shut up about it? In front of the television cameras, just pointing that ass, you say, can you shut up about it? In front of the television cameras. Alright, have a safe drive. Thank you for coming here. Appreciate it. The cousins have given it their best, but are forced to admit defeat. But there's a silver lining, because they're still out of state. Which means they can have sex all day long. Yeah baby.

Where are those TLC cameras? Get them in here. Well you know, it's legal to have sex with your first cousin in Wyoming. Oh my gosh. You know. But before you have sex with your cousin make sure to put on your Y-3000! YB3000? No! YB3000 is not the test of an individual first cousin. YB3000 made cause of fire between two cousins. YB3000 made cause death or blindness. Possibly deeper fallout.

We're not really sure, but 99.000 I post shipping in Antley. It's your two not one but two miles of my brand 3000 for your best cousin fucker I do I you get it can you show me with that? Oh It's a close He took off his clothes That's crazy We got into it.

We took off his clothes and then threw him over the camera. Okay, now I'm gonna go back and look at this. Because also what I want you to listen to is the outro music is like, it's like the Baptist minister music. Listen to this. BAM! It's really good. Oh, I can't. I can't. We have a huge announcement. So that's two double lines right there. We found out yesterday that we're having a baby.

A baby. We are expecting again. Amen. Okay, well you know what? We're definitely going to have to follow up with those two. Wow. No secret about their love. That's for sure. Well, here at the commercial break we give you your cousin fucking best.

I love the church music at the end. With the Oregon. Yeah. Because they're Mormons and I don't know, the Mormons known for their spirited services? Yes, well I mean the organ. Oh is the organ? It's not like city, I just think they're playing more like chamber music. Oh okay.

I don't think it's like all that, you know, blues, jazzy, gospel stuff. No one, and I mean no one in the world does church music like gospel. Oh yeah. Oh the gospel, the soul, the funk, the blue, the whole nine yards. Sometimes I find myself in a hole in YouTube, watching some of these wonderful, like, you know, small church choirs that are just...

Oh, you should see the one that's down near us. So good. Oh, I went. Yeah. I went when you got married. Man. Sometimes, sometimes I tell you what, sometimes I wish I could just walk up and be in one of those choirs.

But I don't move, I don't know what to say. A lot of these things is not like the other. And I don't have a voice for it, so no one's looking for it. Sorry, I'm not up. Alright, well, just remember, go to tcdpodcast.com. You can listen to all the audio, you can watch all the video, you can send us money so that Shannon Rose can get some toilet paper and stop using her ass cloth. You can do it all by hitting the contact us button, you can also request your 21 EPM sticker,

21 ejaculations per month, we're doing our best to support Preston Health, get the word out about the commercial break, it's absolutely free, hit the contact us button at tcbpodcast.com, leave us your address or you can dial us up at 855-TCB8383. That's 1-855-TCB8383, baby. If you want to text us comments, questions, concerns, content, ideas, we're taking them all, we promise we will respond. Someone here at the show responds to each and every text message. We prefer you request the ticket of the stickers over at the website, but if you do it on the phone line, we'll get there too. It's toll free from anywhere in the world. I, in case I didn't mention that, at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB Live on TikTok and

most importantly, youtube.com slash the commercial break for full episodes, the same day that they air here on the audio feed, you're gonna love the YouTube experience. I promise. Please be one of the three people that goes there and watch those videos. I would really appreciate it Chrissy and I would. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for tonight. So I'll say that I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast audience. My God, my friends. Every time we must say we do say and we will say good byeさて 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君がが 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が 君が you