The Commercial Break - Frickin' Frankie

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

We're starting off Season 5 in the only way we know how...it's Frankie B! It’s Season 5!!!! Covid Christmas Castle Bryan’s having a midlife crisis I only take BitShit We love our listeners and appreciate you for sticking with us for so long Bryan got scabies once? Astrid knows best AS USUAL BROTHA To get women, you gotta *get* women There’s our Frankie! Ever heard of being genuine? Don't try to impress them I love frankie’s use of “frickin” He’s a “fluencer” How's your relationship with Christ? An upshot of Frankie’s balls to start the year 50 Shades of Gray for Bryan The Creep Frankie’s battery is low (camera) Hello pretty lady! Frankie says tough love   LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   626.ASK.TCB3 text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B. 

I am a consumer! I'm a consumer. I want to buy things. I love buying things. Buying things makes me hate being such a shatter! On this episode of the commercial break. I just gotta go over there. I just gotta go over there. Like, excuse me. I just noticed that your date's not paying much attention to you. Do you mind if I sit down? I'm your new blind date. Frankie B and man are you lucky. I'm good looking. I'm sexy. I'm over 70. I drive a really cool car and my girlfriend over there. She's gonna be down for a through. Aren't you hunting? You're down for a three sum for the video for the YouTube channel. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Oh yeah, Kazugetans, welcome back to the commercial break season 5. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and co-host, the beautiful Kristen Joy, totally best of you, Kristen. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Five fucking seasons. Happy season five. 13,625 episodes.

22,854 hours, 106,422 minutes of making a stupid mediocre show. I know that some of you really aren't listening because we don't make any money on this show. That's a good line. Thank you. It wasn't a rhyme. That's a show and show. Show and show. Of course show.

What's a show? Well, there you go. What rhymes a show? Show. And there you go. And there you go. You, Ho. Ho.

Merry Christmas. How many minutes of that that you just talked about was was unared or non-recorded. Oh most of it. 78% of it. And how much of it was unsolved is the question. Even more. Even more. 92% of it by my count, but who's counting I am but who is Welcome my friend season number five. Could you have imagined when you agreed to take this ride with me Four and a half years ago or ever long it's been at this point four years ago Could you have imagined that we would be 460 episodes in almost we are four to60 episodes in all four of them are missing. That's not refused to put them back on the RSS feed.

What a ride it's been. This has been insane. I couldn't think of anyone that I'd rather take it with. I've said this many, many times before. It was kind of a lark that I said, hey, why don't you join me for just an episode. So I get my feet wet. Yeah.

And then here you are. Here we are. 466 episodes later. I mean, COVID Christmas castle seems like it just happened. Well, COVID Christmas castle just did happen yesterday here at my house. That's correct. The real COVID Christmas castle.

Now that fake bullshit. I have 10 cans for knees. A corn cob for an eye. You're getting ready for next year. That's right. I was spaghetti strainer for my hair. It was filling at the mall. Oh, I'm pretty sure that's where it's going. I'm pretty sure that. Hey, aren't you the guy? Hey, I did sit down on my knees and actually don't sit down on my knees. It's just 10 cans. It'll break. Here's a chair. I'm gonna say in a closet doesn't like to touch anybody. Let me tell you about the day when I started the commercial break. One time Dr. Phil said our name and it was the best day of my life. Excuse me.

Can someone get my sticky, sticky gummies? I think I'm going to have a tremors again from sitting in the commercial break chair for so long. Oh How I wish I was still doing the commercial break, but now Chrissy is the lead anchor on ABC nightly news And I'm a fill in Santa At the strip mall and can he cut Georgia? Right next to the Cabbage Patch Kid hospital. I also fill in as a doctor over there general baby land general I also fill in as a doctor over here when my gout isn't acting up when my gout isn't acting up.

You want to see my permanently swollen testicle? Well, that time I got him a sick to me. You want me to sign your tits or something? I don't know. What are we doing these days? Is that allowed again? All right, Brian, you're scaring the kids. Come on. Come on again.

Well, I'd move, but I just shit myself. I think I made a bundle. I think I'm gonna need a car. I'll ask why for two. Oh, the good old days when I was contractually obligated to be in my studio 12 to 15 hours a day. I had that wife one time. What was her name? Astrid? She was cute. I wonder what happened to my children? They're in Italy. They're taking cooking classes with all the commercial break residual take and cookin classes because Aunt Christie's getting that ABC Dizzi cash well I have been permanently banned from all media something went south in the Blair Saki interview and then never talked to me again.

The deep state got me. Because someone do me a favorite change out the colander on my head. I'm not a witch. A Santa hunt. So, but I can't grow to beard because, because all that tan and I did now. I just got spots Come over here kids. I took hair from blue and glued it on my chin for the kids There's blue. Please got a small antler. Yeah, she's got an antler. She just barks at all the people that come by. Welcome to COVID Christmas castle. I got pencils

for fingers now. You want me to sign something? I just go like this. Someone's got to help me lift my arm. Oh, the glory days when we had over 14 listeners. Those were the big times. Those were the big dates. That one year we almost made money. Game close. It looked good for a minute there. It looked real good. It looked promising for all of August 2023. Things were on the open up for 27 days. Plan invacations by any chance. Best 27 days of my life.

Oh, but we're glad you're here. Welcome back. Welcome back. I hope you're still with us. You've podcasted Universal listeners. Best year. I hope you're still with us when we're failing in our over-retirement age. I'm just waiting for the midlife crisis to happen.

I think it's kind of happening. I think I'm having a little bit of a midnight crisis. It's starting with the descent. Yes, by agreeing to continue to do this show. I think I've gone into madness. I'm like Dr. Kurtz or whatever his name was in a pocket lips now. A minute studio with minutes Wailen. It's telling me how wonderful I am.

Black curtains. Yeah, black curtains. Yeah, that's right. I'm just start putting big blood on my face every morning. I'll come back from my New York trip to ABC. Yeah, that's right. And I'll be like, where's Brian? With your Prado bag and your Jimmy Chuse. No, I'm not. Yeah, I'll be in a where's Bryant? You're with your Prado bag and your Jimmy Chuse.

No, I'm not. Yeah, I'll be on a paper box somewhere with blue. Yeah, like where's Bryant? When they go on the hot Brooklyn brand, that's right. It's a jungle. Where did he go? Oh, there he is.

He's in the villages, but not in the villages, right outside the villages in those swampy rivers that Florida has to put together to drain the rest of the state of water. You know that all that environmentally friendly shit they're doing down there. I'm praying for a gator to bat my rest of my limbs all or take blue away But unfortunately because of blue the gators won't come anywhere dearest When will she die I don't gone broke because of blue She had to have her 15th hip surgery and insured stop covered him after the seventh goddamn dough

Your voice is gone. I know I know I'm just like One of those voice boxes. Not up, mom. Oh, poor Santa. Did you lose your vocal cancer? No, too much yelling at my dog. So now I'm stuck here with you assholes. That's $15 per portrait. I don't take PayPal since they kicked me off. Since the whole blow up, PayPal no longer does business with me.

I only take bitch shit. Do you have any bitch shit? Oh my God. Bitch shit will probably have been created at that point. Oh, there's a bitch shit out there. I'm sure. Yeah, it's an NFT. So welcome back to season number five. Welcome back to the commercial break. It is now season number five. I don't know the differences between four and five But I'm just sharing with you now we're in season five. I'll put it as five We used to get excited. We used to get excited about the new seasons and now we're like well, there's nothing really changes It's like I like marriage

Nothing changes you get a little bit of a break on the honeymoon and then you have to come back to the same ship So you're married to us and here it is. Yeah, are. We actually do have some new and exciting news to share. But we're going to wait one week on that. We're going to wait one week on that because it's important that we wait one. Legally, it's important that we wait one week. But there's this exciting news that we that we have to share. I don't know that exciting view, but it's exciting to us. And super jazz Jazz about season number five, because we have lots of celebrities booked for interviews. We've got a lot of positive feedback.

We've got some detractors too. Say, you guys said you would never do interviews. That's what I liked about the show, is she didn't ever go that route. And, you know, I just wanna share with those people, fuck you. Exactly. You try and come up with content.

Fuck you. The horse you're rode in on. Get him blue. Attack. Attack. No, not me. Yeah, you know, listen, we had always wanted, I think, to do interviews, but we were just afraid that we were scared. We were scared of pussy at that time. And the truth was, is that we didn't feel so interested in the people that were agreeing to come on the show. So we were convinced that you weren't gonna be interested either. And so now that we, you know, now that someone else is.

But we weren't totally confident in our technology. Yeah, that's the other thing too. It sounds hilarious, but it's actually not. We were not comfortable that we knew how to operate Zoom during the pandemic. When everybody else was using Zoom. I was okay to get on other people's phone calls, but I asked me to start one. That was a whole different animal. That was part of it too.

And then I think just, but there was a sense I had a sense that maybe we should get comfortable doing the show on our own before we threw in a spur of voice. But anyway, I think as we're going to be. We dipped our toe in the water. And so far, we've had some amazing guests and we just do it one time a week. Yeah, at most, one time a week. So, you know, fuck you and all that shit. And the other thing that I wanted to say to our audience was that we know that there are people because they've texted us throughout the years. We know that there are people, I'd like to say many, many in commercial break terms, meaning two or three people who have been with us since the beginning they've been listening many of you have been texting with us or

Emelling with us or talking to us in some way shape or form in those four years couple You know people jumped on first season and they're still hanging around and you don't know how Awesome that makes us feel it actually all the joking aside. It does put fuel in our tanks It does because really because there's no money because there's no money. Because there's no money. Yeah, there's no money to buy fuel. So we have to work on a emotional blackmail, basically. And when you say nice things about the show where you let us know how you're feeling or your opinion or content ideas,

as long as it's kissing my direct ass, then I feel really great about getting in the studio and doing more episodes, and that's the truth. And yes, it can be a, I'm not complaining by the way, we're not digging ditches. It's like this is a fantastic. Oh, absolutely. Job to have.

If by job we mean part time and you don't get paid. But if by the end of season, yeah, very expensive hobby. If by job you mean by the end of season four, we'll be working at Domino's overnight. And that's fine, yeah. But there is no place I'd rather be, 99% of the time. There's that one percent of the time

where I'm like, another episode. But there's 99 out of 100 times of the recorded episodes that we actually figured out how to record. I feel good coming in here and doing this show with you. I do do, I love it. And it's grown and changed so much. And our families have grown and changed.

That's right. And we've been around for it all, the world. Yeah. It's grown and changed when we started this right at the beginning of COVID. It was crazy back then. I mean, not, I- Now people just aren't testing.

Yeah. That's the answer. We figured that out on the last show of season four, which was yesterday. We figured out that the reality is just don't test it. And you don't have to tell anybody you have COVID. Yeah, you just gotta look old. And I'm sure that's what everybody's doing.

I'm positive of it actually. I am positive of it because now I have proof because people have been texting me saying that, well, just don't tell us, you don't have to worry about it. And I'm like, well, that's a fucking moronic way to look at it, but okay. And then I agreed with them within eight days of being in quarantine with 18 sick children,

a dog that won't stop barking and in laws who are driving me freaking crazy. Actually, I love my in laws. I think they're really, thank God they were here. I bet they were saying, I'm not gonna, I know they were gonna come, we're gonna go to Miami and have fun and do something. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

Now Astro just has Daniel doing chores around the house like a real man Like hey, can you hang that picture? Ryan is incapable finding the time or the effort to hang that picture But I in binchy gringo I do me. I do my me Con you are the mother I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. always share this their opinion and to all of you to everybody who's listening, but to the people who especially who reach out and communicate, you know who you are. Thank you very much because it's

kept us going. It's hard to do a podcast where you have no instant feedback and we have instant feedback in each other, but our little bubble here, what does that fucking mean? I don't know, we I laugh at anything. So and when you get that kind of feedback from people and you get nice reviews and five stars and all that other stuff, then it just gives you a little bit of that extra push. And so it has been, and to all the people who have supported us, really, friends, family who put up with this stupid fucking show and all of our synanigans and you don't know how many people.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the best of times, It was the TCB of times Yeah, his name was Brian. He was my brother and I hate him He caused more family fights than my mom and dad's divorce mom and dad's divorce. But I'm here giving his eulogy 12 years after he passed away because we couldn't find the gate for the way to yes, we couldn't find the gate or the way to nobody, no murder if the you know what I'm saying. No test, no, no test, no, no body, no murder, you know how it works.

And so in conclusion, Brian was kind of an asshole best to you Brian and then I just pop up out of the basket Kevin. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever seen. Shut up, blue. Shout out, blow. I'm going back to sleep in my cardboard box. Lower me slowly. I get motion sick. Oh my God. Thank you to all of you. Best of you season number five. We're super excited. And we start off season number five in the way in which only we could, which is, of course, the man who's probably responsible for most of our cons. Frankie B. Frankie. Frankie. Frankie. Frankie. You skittles, cuddle, but. What are you talking about?

No one knows, but that's okay, because. It's hilarious. It's funny. I couldn't find something. I could have said shows. Frankie B. Our constant muse here at the commercial. He is such a wonderful character and a caricature

of a human being that would be Frankie B. Part of me wants to believe he's putting it on an act, but he's not putting it on an act. I don't think this is just Frankie, this is who he is. He spouts out, let the world see. Let the world see, and by the way, doing the exact same thing that we're doing. Just spouting off at the mouth and hoping that it sticks, right? And I can tell you, Frankie, after four and a half years of this,

I think we've been doing this about the same amount of time you and me. And it's not working for either of us. We might want to change tactics. That's why we have celebrity interviews. Let's be real about it. We want to differentiate ourselves from Frankie B. So I want to take a short break. He has his meds bar. He has his meds bar. We have bars. We have our savings a lot. Yes. Free tanning salon with every...

Every time we go to the fitness. I saw that tanning bed by the way. I think it's seen better days. I think they bought that on eBay or something. I'm sure. Yeah, and then like, there's no, I don't think anyway, I didn't see. There's no attendance cleaning it. Oh great. Like they do in like the real spot, I know. So I'm, I'm not gonna test for COVID,

but when I get scabies, am I gonna have to tell people? Which I had one time, by the way. Do you remember that? I had fucking scabies. Yeah. From a girl. Yeah. From her dog. From someone's I this story I have to tell at some point. Maybe I'll tell them when we get back quickly before we do Frankie B. But let's take a short break or first break of the new season with absolutely no sponsors. Let's take. There's a reason why you'll get to that. Yeah, we're killing it. We're killing it in 2024. Start all hot.

Coming in hot. I'm edging. You know what edging is? It's you know what edging is? I'm edging on season number five. I'm gonna ed you all to sponsor. I'm gonna pretend we do. I'm gonna back off. I'm gonna pretend we got one and then I'm gonna pretend we do, but I'm gonna back off. I'm gonna pretend we got one, and then I'm gonna back off. And then when I blow my load, it's gonna be an hour and 15 minutes. We have pre-populated auto ads. And actual commercial break. All right, speaking of actual commercial break, let's take one. Let's take one of these. Bad boys, and then, yeah, we'll come back.

I promise. All right, here we go. Are you mindlessly scrolling Instagram right now? How about throwing us a follow at the commercial break and also at TCB Podcast on TikTok? Check out our website, tcbpodcast.com to find absolutely everything you could ever want to know about us and if you simply can't stay away, call us and leave us a voicemail at 626-ask-tcb3. Or you can text us at 8x5-tcb-8383. While you're contemplating divulging your life dramas to us, have a listen to our sponsors. You know you love me, Alright, and we're back. And the studio's on fire.

Oh my god. Okay, let's just pretend that didn't happen. Let's just pretend a billow of smoke just come up from the back end of the studio. Don't worry, everything's fine. Cool for help. Chris, you're trying to set fire to the studio. That's one of the only ways we get out of this contract. This is to set ourselves on fire.

So I went, I think I told this story before. And I probably told every story before. I should just stop saying that because it's true. There's so many episodes of this who would listen, who would know? You remember when I met, I met a little chickadee at a party in the woods. I hit the hippie party in the woods, ran around with their balls hanging out, howling at the moon. Sweaty Sweaty Trailer. Sweaty Sweaty Trailer.

Yeah, you could come in, Sweaty Sweaty Camper. You could come in, but there's no air conditioning, and it's 112 degrees. Do you want to have a threesome? I didn't, I didn't climb that invitation. Yeah, Chrissy declined a threesome invitation. I did, I went, but I didn't go in, I did go into the camper, but only to do drugs, and then I left. I wasn't going to get stuck around for the three-sub.

I'm not sure that was. I'm not sure I'm there cup of tea anyway, but they had a little friend, I say a little friend, a younger friend that came along, and she was younger than I was, and it was obvious to everybody except for me that there's probably a bad idea that I was, you know, even talking to this girl. But anyway, I mean, she wasn't like illegal young. She was in her mid 20s and I was in my mid something. And so, so after the festival was over, I don't know how, I don't remember all the minutia behind it, but one day she's on her way to Atlanta.

She lived in a different state. She's on her way to Atlanta with her little dog and they're coming to visit. That visit turned into a year of her living with me. And maybe not a year, maybe like nine months, but anyway, after we got a new house, we decorated the house. Yeah, remember that she started to get a little twitchy. I think she was like, old man stuck in Atlanta, not interested.

I have better things to do. So she ran off to California to do something. Pickweed. Let's just call it like we see it. She had to go pickweed. Fine, whatever. And so when she left, she left her dog. Like, she didn't take the dog with her.

And if I thought blue had problems, this dog had big problems. This dog was like really twitchy. It would be like, it would like twitch all the time. And then it make this noise when it was breathing like, ha ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ha. I remember that. Do you remember that? Ha. And if it wasn't like sitting in your lap 24 hours a day, it was like, ha. Ha. Ha.

Now I do that to Astrid sometimes, but I'm looking for attention. I'm like, ha. So, she leaves kind of quickly And leaves the dog and I'm watching the dog and I tell her listen I can't watch the dog. I know this is the end. Let's not prolong this any longer I like I know this is the end. We're not this and I'm gonna work out Yeah, and I can't watch the dog forever

So you have to find some other place to go which she did the dog leaves about a week later Someone comes picks up the dog to care for it. And I'm now back single alone, but all of a sudden that night, I'm getting these spouts, these like, I'm scratchy. Yeah, I'm scratchy and I'm itchy and my skin's kind of itchy. And I've never had this before. I've had dry skin like in certain patches, but I've never had like, you know, itchy kind of in my arms and my legs all over.

And so I was like, God damn, God damn, God damn. in certain patches, but I've never had itchy in my arms and my legs all over. And so I was like, God damn, God damn, God damn. And then day number five of this, I realized that I have this rash all over my body and it feels like something is crawling under my skin. Now I know that I probably have done too much drugs in my life and I should quit them immediately. But actually, I don't think I'm doing drugs at the time.

So I'm like, this is weird. So I go to the local doctor here, and the doctor comes in, he checks me after the nurse looks at me, he checks me, then he leaves really quickly. He goes, I'll be right back. And he comes back in with all the PPE that you could need to touch a person who's infected with fucking Ebola. He's like, and he's got these gloves. He's like, something kind of ET. He's

like, I'm here to check. I'm ET photo. You know, you know, I got fucking skabies. I don't know. And he goes, Mr. Green, I think you have a case of skabies. And I was like, skabies. Isn't that something that like dogs get? And he's like, well, dogs can carry it. But more importantly, when it gets onto a human, it can be quite nordeal. So here's what I'm going to need you to do. Burn yourself. Send yourself on fire.

Or ox baths or something. I had to take tea tree oil baths and I had to pour tea tree oil over myself. I don't know if you ever smell tea tree oil, but it is not the most pleasant of smells when done in like mass climates. Oh yeah, it's like an septic. I had to wash every piece of clothing, my sheets,

my pillows, every single day in hot water twice, every day. I like literally had to put these things into plastic bags and carry them through the house because you couldn't even bring them into other rooms in the house or you could get skabies. And this tea troyle, I put it on my body forever and ever and ever. They gave me this antiseptic ointment. Chrissy, I could not have been less sexy if I tried. I mean, it certainly killed any, you know, kind of mojo

I had going on. I stayed in that house for three weeks, constantly washing my clothes, constantly putting this on. I think I dropped off soup like at your door. Yeah, you did. Yeah, people were caring for me, but not too close. Nope. Nope, don't give Brian a hug. He's got scabies. So finally, this girl, who by the way,

everything has been smoothed over. I'm not angry, right? I'm just sharing the story. But she calls it one point to check in on something, right? I don't know what she's checking on. I heard something she left the house. And I say, hey, did you have skabies at any point? Because what I remembered about our relationship

was how itchy she always was. She was always complaining. She was itchy, her back was itchy, her arms were itchy. Oh, God. And so I put two and two together. And I'm like, she must have had skabies, too. And I go, do you ever have skabies? And she goes, oh, did you get skabies?

And I go, yeah. And she goes, oh, did you get scabies? And I go, yeah. And she goes, oh, that ran around. She was living in Costa Rica at a point. She was running around. I got her around. I was running around. It was going around. I must have picked it up and given it to you.

And I'm like, God damn it. It was going around. Yeah. You left, basically, without saying anything. You left your shitty little dog. And then you gave me scabies on top of it. But it was the best lesson that I ever learned. You know what it was?

What's that? Wash your sheets every once in a while. Well, I can't believe you weren't doing that before. Well, no, I don't, of course I am. But I'm too old to see you for that. But what I haven't done is I am gotten a new, a new, what do you call do you call the day? I got a new duvet for Christmas. Oh, thank goodness. Because it was with that girl that I bought the duvet that had been on the bed. And one day Astrid pointed it out. And I was like, no, we've bought a new duvet since then. And she's like, no, we haven't. But

I really would like you to because just like, I had this bed, this old bed, where crazy doodles used to have in the apartment with crazy doodles. And a different young lady that I dated. And so we were, I put that bed in the guest room and Astrid wanted me to set fire to that thing. The second she walked in the house, she was like, take that bed and burn it. And I'm like, it's a bed. And she's like, I don't care if it's a bed.

It's a bed you and your ex-modio. Yeah, bad mojo, bad juju. You slept in that bed with a woman you obviously had a tough time with. Like, can we not be reminded of that? And I'm like, but we're not sleeping in it. It's just an extra bed and she's like, I don't give a fuck.

It's in the house. Can you please get rid of it? And at first, I was like, okay, this is a little much. And then I kind of agreed with her. I was like, yeah, you know what? I should get rid of it? And at first, I was like, okay, this is a little much. And then I kind of agreed with her. I was like, yeah, you know what? I should get rid of that. And after I got rid of the bed, things turned up roses. All of a sudden, I had 15 children,

constant cold, flu, or COVID, and a mediocre comedy podcast, where celebrities barely agreed to come on for a period of time before they realize before sag after a big sign up on the website. Do not go on this show. You let in the light. I did. Oh, you let in that good air.

Oh, that fresh fresh air. That good good. That good good. You're getting good, good, just a little bit. Just take Tina. Ffff. Ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff. It's just me breathing in while I'm boxing.

Ah, yep, still smells like shit. All right, season number five, we can't start off a season. We can't start off a season without starting off with Frankie B because that's Traditionally what we have done is started with Frankie B We see that hockey stick growth right after we do that first episode of every season We do that first episode of every season. Average, listen time, one minute and seven seconds. I was looking at our YouTube, it's like average watch time, one minute and 36 seconds.

Average, average video length, one hour and seven minutes. And then they give you these statistics to try and make you feel good. It's like this video got two minutes and seven seconds worth of listening. Check out that video, see what you did, recreated. And I'm like, oh, that's the one where I'm not in it. Yeah.

Oh my God. Okay, let's do this. Let's get started with a freaky before we run all the time, just be in silly, which I'm enjoying, actually. Yes. It's a good refreshing change. It is. Nice to have you. Yeah nice to have you back Tina and Christina did a wonderful job. Oh, yes, they did wonderful wonderful job. I have not a bad word to say

I know who's taking your seat in the future If I could actually take them You're the only one who agrees to do it for free All right, here we go. I was throwing on the internet. Oh man, do I like to do this. And Frankie B, this is an older video of Frankie B. Yeah, you can tell he's looks much younger. He looks really young here.

Have we really been doing this show for that long? That he looks so young? Do I look that much older in my videos? If we go back? I hope not. Anyway, here's good old Frankie. Are you having trouble getting women's attention? You get through the first day, but you just can't seem to get a second or a third? You hit it right on the head. Women don't go, women don't go for my

half dollar eyes. And my tongue may of crochet. Feel like women are only trapped in 12y hands of men that you're in my crap. You hear that oh man you're a nice guy and there's definitely a woman out there for you guys if you are hearing that the brother you are definitely frustrated.

Why? He is. he's heard that. If you're thinking about taking a woman out, opening the door, being for her dinner, and then loving her like the woman she needs to be, you are fucking screwed. This is what she's for. Brother, you are doing it all the wrong way. You know what I do?

I walk into a blind date, I take my dick out, I slap across the face a couple times and I say hey You ain't getting no special treatment for me My name is Frank Bennardo and I welcome you to my channel remember this channel is geared for all guys out there 50 and above and want to up their gang look and feel Jesus, she's like moose so Like emotion back and forth back and forth. That's right. He's gonna be right a sprint off You know he's been take he's doing testosterone or blow one of the two I mean, it's alleged a leg

There's no one time. Oh, yeah, that one time. He was definitely on something when he was doing it with the girl Yes, his mouth was moving a million miles a minute. And he wasn't saying anything. That's a clear indication. But here, he is so kinetic right now. Yeah. About themselves. Today, guys, we're talking about how to get women to like you.

But first, let me remind you. But first, let me remind you that women don't like you. Ha, ha, ha. Hit that subscribe button and the notification key. But first let me remind you that women don't like you Hit that subscribe button and the notification key if you want to be Notification key why can't after five years of doing this Frankie? Why can't you just give the notification key? Who has a notification key and which part of YouTube is there a notification key? There's not Idiot of my YouTube family. All right. Let get into it. Guys, the first thing you gotta understand, to get women, you gotta get women. Let me repeat that.

To get women, you gotta get women. God, this is the second eruption. Go ahead. I think I know what he's about to say and it's the same thing that the other out of the liar and the other one say to the other women attract other women. No, I think what he's going to say is you got to understand women. You got to understand them psychologically. That's my guess.

You got to get women. That's right, Chrissy. Now listen, in order to get women, you got to get women. To walk through the door, you got to open it. To drive the car there needs to be gasoline. If you don't have money in the bank, you gotta get women. To walk through the door, you gotta open it. To drive the car, there needs to be gasoline. If you don't have money in the bank, you're not rich. These are things that I know to be true from all my years of experience on this earth.

Also, having sex with a plastic vagina is not real sex. Ha! In other words, guys don't understand where women are coming from emotionally, but when you are... Oh, and you do? and you do yeah that is rich that's rich you're saying how attraction works in women suddenly you start to get women

and some quick tips I put together to help you do this probably some quick tips I put together on the shitter this morning. When I was rolling through my bumble. I could just see Frankie writing down some tips. It's going to be a great video. Can't wait to get it out there. Let me do some more cocaine. His eyes are blown.

Oh, now they are. Wow, he's on. He's either had too much coffee or something's going on. Yeah. Number one, one guys be nice This one is so easy. It's not difficult. Be polite Say please wait, didn't you just tell us like the nice guy? Yeah, then he Didn't he just say three minutes ago that you shouldn't be nice to women if you think you're gonna get laid being nice to women

That doesn't work. Oh Frankie say thank you If you think you're gonna get laid being nice to women, that doesn't work. Oh, I think so. More of Frankie. Say thank you, help people, be kind in general. But the old cliché is, oh nice guys finish last. That's a bunch of bull. Bad asses, they finish last too. At the end of the day. What?

We all finish last. Everybody finishes last. I mean, I do like his advice here for being nice to women. So good. I do, but you know, everybody finishes last. No matter what, it's amazing. How do you know the winner is, Frankie? Is somebody a loser of everybody finishes last?

I'm just wondering. Everybody wants to be treated, where respect, and women are absolutely no exception to the rule. Here's the rule. Oh, oh. Women are absolutely no exception to the rule. Dicker, there is a difference between being nice and being needy and clingy.

The needy, clingy guys, trust me, you will finish last. Whatever you do, do not make that woman the center of your universe. She'll destroy you down the line. There it is. Yeah, there it is. I thought this was going along too well for a second. I was like, oh wow, he's actually bringing some good advice

through the table. Nice guys do always finish last. Like that time, I had a threesome with those two girls from modeling school. I Finished way like Like outside the room waiting for that Number two, do you ever hear a being genuine? Don't be someone that you're not

Frank you put his hand on the camera and all of a sudden he's a different place. Yeah, and also I've ever heard of being genuine boom I'm somewhere in the greater Chicago land area right now. Can you take a guess? Do not be someone that you're not guys. Don't wear clothes that you wouldn't normally wear Don't wear clothes that you wouldn't normally wear. Don't wear clothes that you wouldn't normally put out. I know he tells people to change their style. Yeah. He's inconsistent. He's consistently inconsistent. You know, there's Ivan Old saying,

the only thing that changes is that, I mean, the only thing that never changes is that everything is always changing, right? Yeah. And quit talking in a way that sounds way too cool. You're gonna end up confusing the girl because when you go back to being your normal self, you're gonna flip her out.

She's not gonna know who you are. Just be genuine, be yourself. Ha ha ha. She's gonna go apartment security. Yeah, there's that guy out there in the courtyard again. He's yelling real loud, something about. Don't be a nice guy. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna get the police on that we can't remember

restraining order last week yeah and uh... he's really going at it this time okay that's frankie b we have to be a restraining order on him will be will be out there in a second thank you he's scaring the children uh... don't try to impress them because it's gonna catch up with you have her for you no don't try to impress them because it's gonna catch up with you. Have her for you. No, don't try to impress them.

Geez, God forbid you tried to. I have to put your best foot forward. Actually put your best foot forward. I think this is what's wrong with people today actually. You show up in a fucking blind date and put jamma pants and expect that you're gonna get laid. Unbelievable. You really are in that who you're pretending to be.

Just like you pretending to live in those places that you purchased. That's right. You're living in your daughter's sorority house, but you pretend to be living in the greater Chicago the nicest townhouse conference in the greater Chicago land area, I got 10 for it.

Get on to my next tip. I gotta get me some food. You area got 10 for you down to my next tip. I got to get me some food Is he what is going on is he a VJ Is he on TRL live or something? He's going to a breakfast place Look he's going to a breakfast place. Breakfast club if you will I'm gonna say I'm to do 30 to 30 pm. Well listen who knew I guess I was wrong. All the fluences are doing it.

Is he a fluencer now? I guess. Oh he's back. Yeah that was it. All right there's a reason why there's always a big line in there. That food is really good. Alright, you didn't show us any of it. Yeah, show us none of it.

One minute you're all high on something. In the next minute your stomach is calmed down a little bit. But you showed none of what happened during breakfast. Nope. There's a reason why there's always a line in that place So good god damn Tip number three guys. It's kidding to know her Guys

One thing what is all this aggressive walking and talking? He said his phone up I know and then walked aggressively towards it, then picked it up. You're like, you grabbed it like, you ain't doing it. He's like, guys. Oh, he's so, he's a guy. You don't want to miss this one. I'm giving you another, but he's a classic, Frankie advice. And you're never going to need.

Never. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. So let's take a break, and then we'll be back with more Frankie B. OK. Oh, finally, I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to TCPpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCPpodcast.

Wanted to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626-ask-TCB3 and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 855-TCB-8383, and boy do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show. Alright, back here. We're just discovered he's also...there's a sign behind him that says the public library. And then there's a building behind him that says the post office. He's in the town square. He's in the town square. And the busiest hot spot breakfast place. I know

exactly where he lives by the way. Based on his videos, I know exactly where he lives, but I'm not going to say it here, but it isn't the greater Chicago land area. That part is true. That'll really aggravate a woman is if you are having a conversation and she's holding up her ended a deal by asking you questions like how's your family? What do you do for work? How do you like work? Do you get along with so and so? If all you're doing is answering the questions, do you get along with so and so? Who does that on a first date? He's the long with your mom. How's your relationship with Jesus Christ? Well, it's kind of

Where do you go? And I'm asking her about herself then that's gonna piss her off and you're gonna lose her interest real quick You need to ask her. Ask her questions about her life. What are her dreams? What was her childhood like? What's her favorite movie? Wow, you have revealed some really existential shit here, Frankie. Chrissy, when you go on a date, you ask, do you get along with so-and-so? What's your favorite movie? What was your childhood like?

Where did you go up? What do you do for work? I mean, some more interview. Guys, if you can't, and this is what I'm afraid of actually, when we watch some of these like new YouTube dating shows that we've been watching, what I'm afraid of is the question asking

is can be at times subpar at best. Like do you play World of Warcraft? That like I don't know that maybe that's an opening question when you're 18 years old, but I don't think it should be, right? You should ask something else. Like, you know, do you take Jesus Christ? That's good. That's good.

Jesus doing all these things. You are the beast or the mountains. Beach or mountains. Where did you go to school would you do for fun keep it airy and breezy and light airy breezy and light don't trauma dump on your first date don't do that and you're showing that's a Brian moving and always ends badly no interest she's gonna get sick of that and then she's gonna end up finding someone else who cares to listen to her and is interested in her life. This holds so true

You have no idea. I'm gonna tell you a little story. I was out in a restaurant with my girlfriend last weekend Let me sit down at this public. Let me sit down in front of this public library By the way, the nicest public library in America Sit down at this and then I'm to breathe really heavy and talk to you. And so help me, God. There was a blind date there, okay? And all this guy did. All he did, it was him, him, him.

It was sports, sports, sports. And that poor girl, we were watching her. She was just sitting with her. I think he knows. Frankie right now, I see what's going on. Frankie's on a high right now. That's why he's so jacked up to tell everybody his secrets, tips, and tricks is because he has a girlfriend.

He has a girlfriend. What he does not have a girlfriend is when things start going sideways. Things start spewing out. Yes. Then his true feeling is going to be the party girl. The party girls girls want to take your money. You're never going to get laid. Women are awful.

I hate them so much. And I can see Frankie sitting in this little cafe having dinner with his girlfriend and he's just, he's not even paying it. So, not even paying attention to our his girlfriend because he's paying attention to what's going on. And he's like, I just got to go over there.

I just got to go over there. Excuse me. I just noticed that your date's not paying much attention to you. Do you mind if I sit down? I'm your new blind date. Frankie B and man are you lucky. I'm good looking. I'm sexy. I'm over 70. I drive a really cool car and my girlfriend over there. She's gonna be down for a through. Aren't you? You're down for a three. Some for the video for the YouTube channel. They cite this. It it was absolutely pathetic and this guy couldn't have been more proud of himself in his conversation But he didn't give her any respect

He's just hearing the kids are somebody go mommy Put the camera down and step away from the public library, Frankie. Let's not cause any trouble. Let's start, Frankie. Let's go easy, please. We found your ex-girlfriend locked up in your salon, sweet with razor-wired inner face. Come on, Frankie. Put it down. We didn't know you took her. You had low T and you got some injections this morning, so it'll tell It's just aosterone day at Frankies Of listening to her so I'm not so sure that date went real well All I'm telling you is I got to experience that first hand. It's horrible. Start paying attention You didn't experience it first hand. You were easy dropping on somebody first hand as if it happened to you

Frankie come on first I bet that first hand is what you're working with now they ignore your date the entire time in lieu of some video content I've tried that one doesn't work to your woman okay What is going on here? Whoa. What is going on here? That's an upshot of Frankie's ball, right? I mean, from the steps below, he's sitting.

He's sitting on the last step, you know, like a five steps or whatever, he's sitting on the top step. And then he's got the camera on the bottom step, pointed directly at his balls. That's what you're looking at. It's in the center of the screen. Oh, Frankie.

To the next segment here. Okay. Pay attention when she's talking. Guys, if she's talking about going to a movie that she wants to see, let's just say Brett Pitt movies coming out. Make sure you just read Pitt movies coming up. You are dating so much. Brett Pitt movies coming up. I don't think anyone is excited. A Brad Pitt movie is coming up. I don't think anyone's been excited about a Brad Pitt movie in a half minute.

It's been so much so far to time in Hollywood nine years ago. Commental note of that. And when that movie comes out, make sure you call her up and you take her there. Man, you will floor her. She's actually going to go, oh my god, a guy who actually remembers what I was talking about oh my god a guy who has a great idea for a date let's go to a movie you like revolutionary change my life he's the first one who came up with that listen he I did it first I was the first guy to take a girl to a movie that she let and by the way worked like a charm. We're divorced.

Oh, Astrid, you know, I've been to all the 50 shades movies because Astrid has dragged me to them along with another number of other movies that no one has ever seen, but that are sappy, sappy love movies. And you know what? I don't go under to rest. I go with a smile on my face. That's right.

Because I enjoy watching Astrid enjoy something. Yes. Like hot steamy sex and I could never. I was just going to see it somewhere. A New Year's Eve we were up late Gustavo Astrid and I were up late playing a board game. Because it had been kind of an interesting night for the family and we had, there was like a health emergency and all this other stuff. So by the time we got back and we said, you know, happy New Year and we're all sitting deflating this board game and get some of our turns on the TV. And he turns on 50 shades of gray.

And we're sitting at my table in the kitchen. It's like a big open space into the family room. And I'm the only one facing the TV. So how could I not look at Dakota Johnson's beautiful breasts the entire time? So I look like a total creep because the entire time all I'm doing is staring at the movie It's pure brownie points. Ooh, that's what I want. I want me a nice cup of coffee. Oh my god. You don't need any more coffee, bro Okay, I'm gonna hit this place and then we're gonna get back to the video. You're gonna hit this place.

Hit it. Hit it. Oh, geez. What is that? We're gonna have chili peppers. Oh, he's filming this place. Yeah, he probably got permission. They think he's got some big following and they're gonna help out with the traffic and the building.

Okay, I guess we're getting a tour of a coffee shop now. Delay. I don't know. So weird. Oh, there's a guy playing guitar with nobody in the street. Couple with a walk-a-talk. What you're not seeing out there. What you're not seeing, what you're listening to.

Which is very strange. He's taking a walk around like a shopping village or something like that and like just decides to put in some weird music Go shopping. I don't know Actually, I'm running really low on battery here. So I gotta go home Get this thing charged up and we're gonna pick up the video right where we left off We're back and we're all charged what was he talking about himself with the low I don't know where his car I don't know I don't know

you know what just I have find it hard to believe that his brand new Range Rover is on a battery but okay all right stop when he says go home and charge up do you think he mean maybe he's gonna get a little tutu yeah you had breakfast and I was gonna go shit it out out So baby laxative and bad cocaine Guys the next big tip is make sure you compliment your woman very important Show me a woman who doesn't like compliments. I'll show you a liar guys. Just make sure when you do compliment them It's nothing too cheesy like your eyes. are as blue as the ocean. You know,

or hello pretty lady. You know what? Hello pretty lady. Hello pretty lady. Who are you, Jerry Lewis? Oh pretty lady but hello pretty lady those are guidelines okay anybody can say that stuff you need to give her some real compliments let's just say you're having a conversation and she says something intelligent. Well, let her know about it. It's as easy as this. Women love to be man-spain too and they say something intelligent. Wow, that was really intelligent. I didn't know a woman could say those kind of things. You're different from all the other girls. Wow, you're different than all the other girls. You do math problems.

Hey, God, you're really smart. I don't know if I met anyone as intelligent as you. Oh, my God. You got all that. No, she will love that. Well, here's another one. God, I love being around you. You're always so happy. And that makes me feel good. She will love those types of compliments. Do you see the difference? The first set of compliments were more... He's like walking around a restaurant patio.

I mean, it's so strange. These people must be so, like, they must be so creeped out by him just walking around the village recording himself all day long. I mean, come on. Like, bad pickup line. The latter was more genuine and specific to her. Alright guys, the final tip of the day. Who's holding that camera? I don't know.

It becomes walking around the corner of the camera as like face level. Who's doing that? He probably recruited one of the workers that just got off it. It's breakfast. Hey, you wanna be in my video? Well, not in my video, but behind my video.

Oh, the video? Yeah. I have over 13 subscribers on YouTube. Yeah. You need to start taking care of yourself ladies love men who take care of themselves He's killing his shoes This has got to be the most discombobulated Frankie video ever. I mean besides the one we're gonna talk into the lady who the lady kept it together He didn't. Yeah. It's a must for every man to know how to dress in order to impress a woman.

First impressions are lasting ones. So proper attire is essential in impressing women. If you're a guy in a relationship, you should always be auditioning for that girl. You just told us not to do that. You just told us to be authentic. Yeah, yourself. Not change your clothes.

No, you told us to change your clothes and be an authentic. Guys, simply put, your clothes will always impress your potential wife or your girlfriend and convince her that you're the one for her. Let's go over a couple more things. Okay, my take on this is guys, you should always over dress. Now I'm not saying wearin' up, three, ha, ha, wait, so very good. Thank you, me too.

But we've always been confused by Frankie's videos. No news here. Peace, white shirt, and tie. But I'm asking you to take those jeans, keep them in the closet, get rid of those baggy white shirts that you've always been wearing, and why don't you opt for something a little bit more stylish, okay? How about some dress pants, a nice fitted shirt, kind of like this outfit I'm wearing right

here, check this out. Oh my God, he is wearing a deep V polo black fitted. He's wearing tight, tight, tight gray pants and black loafers, no socks. Yeah, penny loafers with the gold chain, you know, like the gold chain that connects the top of them with no socks in the greater Chicago land area. See what I'm saying? It's kind of a badass look. And it shows that girl that you actually took the time to go buy some nice clothes for that day, getting back to first impressions our lasting ones. Another big no no is never wear gym attire. Guys, you're sending that woman a message and she's going to perceive you as being immature. If you're wearing athletic gear, you never do that.

If you absolutely have to wear gym gear, you better have the body and make it look like you've been to the gym enough to wear that stuff. Look at my body! What if I just came for gym? Well, I agree with him on this one point. I've got to wear the gym. If you're dating a girl for a long time

or dating another person for a long time and you guys meet up and there's casual wear involved because that just happens to be what you're doing cool But I agree with him on this one. Don't show up to a first date or a blind date or whatever wearing fucking pajamas. You don't do that unless you're going to a pajama party in which case can I get invited because I like the idea of a Cuddled puddle myself Okay, let's sum it up always dress to fit the occasion and always dress to impress it's simple guys That concludes today's segment on how to make women like you if you guys stay to the end of this video Then what are you doing, bro?

Hit that like button and don't you dare forget to subscribe to this channel. I will see you soon He's got He love going on. He doesn't want us to forget to hit that subscribe button. What are you doing, bro? We doing bro, hit that ignition key. I mean, that notification key. I mean, that notification bell. I mean, that notification button.

Oh, Frankie, you've never failed to confuse us. But we get you. Somehow we get you. We understand. You're a guy that's trying a little too hard to be a guy that's trying. You know what I'm saying? That's all I got.

That's the best way I could put it. I still wish it was some point he would go back to his travel blog. Travel blog? His travel. Well, he only does that when he travels. Take some money to do that. I don't imagine that channel's making any cash.

And I don't know how many so long sues are flying off the shelf in 2023. I don't imagine that channel's made of any cash and I don't know how many so long Swees are flying off the shelf in 2023, but you don't never know yeah, he also doesn't look a guy who's hurting for money He's got nice clothing he drives nice cars He's got a one at least one salon in the greater Chicago land area. Oh My gosh, I love it. I absolutely love it. Frank, do more videos. Do more content. Please, please, please. Okay, listen, if you want to save us from the Crobed Christmas castle for the rest of our life, being broke part-time Santas and shitty strip malls and Peckin' Eck Georgia, do us a favor. favor. Anytime you hear our sponsors, URL's or codes, you can use those URL's or codes for special discounts, free shit, depending on who the sponsor is,

they give away great discounts, like 30%, 40%. So if you're in the market for their products or services, that's how we let the sponsors know that we're doing our job. And if you could please do us that favor. So one thing that we ask, along with this other thing, which is, hit the subscribe ignition key. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha your favorite podcast player, whichever you're listening to you so you don't miss an episode of the commercial break. And this one last final thing of the one thing that I'm going to ask you to do. The third thing of the one thing is leave us a review on your favorite podcast player.

RITCBpodcast.com. That's where you go. Find out more about Chrissy and I. All the show notes, audio and video. It's all there. One location. 626. S-T-C-B.

The number 3. 626. S-T-C-B. The number 3, Texas or Levis of Voice Mail, youtube.com slash the commercial break and at the commercial break on Instagram. Okay Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I want to tell you that I love you. I love you.

And best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say we will say and we must say goodbye!Sai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai you