The Commercial Break - Gas... In The Hose, Nose or Throat?

Episode Date: March 9, 2021

Bryan and Krissy are taking TCB new heights (and lows)! They discuss early Ad Men, mental health, gas huffing, gas drinking and gas hosing. Its a fun filled episode of The Commercial Break.  Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO ([phone]) THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS:  Betterhelp LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Facebook Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you hear the most interesting man in the world, who do you think of? Steve Jobs, Buzz Aldrin, the new sectorist guy, Fired? Welcome. The person that comes to mind is Brett Crosscock, who also happens to be the most courageous business person I have ever met. Now growing up Brett didn't have the average life that most of you would expect. He grew up in the circus. Um... Um... Mr. Blutowski... Zero point... Zero.

On this episode of the commercial break... These admin was wise. Yes. Jabacker. I love a good cigarette in the morning. Thank you, Chrissy. What's my name again? Percy Vanderbluish.

The Crescent Cup. Hi, I'm Brian Green for the Crescent Cup. I'm Percy Van Van Duschleuf for the Crescent Cup. Are you sick of your wife having wild wolverines? Out her but you do? Use the Crescent Cup. Are you sick of your wife having wild wolverines? Out her but you do? Use the Crescent Cup. Are you sick of taking care of wild badges? Coming out of your woman's womb? Everybody else. Well use the Crescent Cup. It's the brand new state of the eye technology. new stain at the eye technology. Created by the Andrew throw of corporation. We've woven bamboo sticks together to make sure you're a man juice never gets past the

goalie. Go nuts. Don't pull out, push in. That's what I say. Welcome aboard sponsors. Welcome to the commercial. You know, when I took off down the street and I get whatever 10 miles on the street, I'm gonna fill this bad guy up, figure out what's going on.

Your mission is to get you. We've been trying to get you. We've been trying to get you. Are you Brian Green? The whole... the whole county of Cosses. You're Cosses most wanted. I'm not driving your girlfriend's car. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. I'm not a cat. Woo! Hello, hello. Howdy, dutie, dutie.

Hey everybody! Hi! I'm Brian. I'm Chrissy. And, happy new year! I'm not a cat. I'm not a cat, so I'm not a cat. Can't tell me that Jackie Weaver!

I noticed you had a happy new year on your actual personal voice mail. Did I? Yes, I did. I just said Happy New Year. You've called blah blah blah blah, but something, and then you say, by the way, Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Why not? I mean, listen, I just want to try and be affable to all of our friends and relatives out there. That's just who I am. It's what I do.

I love it. It's who I am and it's what I do. I love you for it. Welcome to the commercial break Tuesday edition. I think it's Tuesday edition, maybe it's a Friday edition who knows. That could be. That's it. But now we're on Tuesdays and Fridays, in case you didn't know,

you asked for it, you got it. You asked for it. Yeah, I don't know if it's good for you or bad for you. But we're here, we're all diving in the deep end. It was demanded by at least one person. That was me. Yes. So we had to call our thousands of Patreon members one by one

and say, listen, I understand you're paying a high premium right now for that Friday show, but I've got a better idea for you. Why don't you just get it for free? We have a good business model to which every single one of them said yes I'm an entrepreneur all about them. Oh, it's a new one. What's that? Sounds like a snail ye

I'm a lot of entrepreneurs in my time. Yes, you did Percy. What's his name? Percy Vanderslute? Vandershloot. I think Vanderslute is that guy who killed now. Yeah, no, no, no, I'm not going Vander Slute. Yeah, let's go Vander Camp. Vander, Vander. Vander Vander. Vander Sint, Vander Vander Sint. We're thinking about people who are. Vander Beer, Vander Beer.

Vander Helm. Percy Vander Helm. But that sounds German. German. Yeah, and this guy's like predates Germany. Yeah. Yeah, he was born in like the, I don't know. The Nile. What do they call that? Mesopotamia. The Nile. This guy's like predates Germany. Yeah. He was born in like the, I don't know.

The Nile. What do they call that? Mesopotamia? The Nile. He was born in Mesopotamia. Mesopotamia? The Crescent. That's right.

The Crescent. Or a Crescent Cup. That's right. What it's called? Crescent Cup. That sounds like a woman's utility. Or a breakfast at Starbucks. Breakfast at Starbucks.

What's the hand? What's a breakfast? What's a Starbucks? Wasn't your Percy what a crescent cup sounds like a type of prophylactic and has Used a crescent cup many a time Keeps your woman from having wild wolverines. What's what happens if you have sex before marriage? You have badges not children badges. I've had You're woman from having wild wolverines. What's what happens if you have sex with full marriage? You have badges. Not children badges, but I've badges.

Ah. But put that crescent cup in and don't worry about it. Go to town. It's called the pull out method. I call it the push in method. Push in that crescent cup and have some fun. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year!

Do you all you welcome to the commercial break? Brian, let's get this out of the way. Let's drop some knowledge on the audience. Let's get this out of the way because I don't want the rest of the show to be awkward. Like when you go on the third date and you tell the girl you're homeless and driving your sister's car,

or your ex-girlfriend's car because she ran away with a yoga instructor. She's down to come with us on the, because of the yoga instructor. You know, that's how I'm watching more and more love connection. Cause there's just thousands of thousands of episodes. And it's just getting better and better. The more I watch it, the more I realize it's like, there's a rhythm to the show. And you can kind of tell right when they get out of the door, like, right when

it's, you can tell whether or not this is going to be a good date or bad date by how they react to each other on camera, right? Before they even say a word. Yeah. But the more that I, the more that I realize, it's like there's so many people that shouldn't be qualified for dating. No. Yeah, there's like one guy he's like living in his car, he's from Missouri,

but he's out in LA trying to pick up women. Yeah, and then there's the guy who's passing out fires on the sunset strip. Yeah. All day long. All day long. Day long. Where is he?

Where's my guy? Where there you are. All day long. Yeah. Yeah. So I just want to get this out of the way. One of the reasons why we're doing Tuesday and Friday episodes now is because we've been asked to

have some sponsors on the show, which is an incredible investment. It's an inflection point, as I would say, in the life of the commercial break. What do sponsors mean? What sponsors mean that we are going to have? Sponsors, people who sponsor the show, and for that sponsorship, we are going to discuss their wares and let you know what they have to offer.

But I'm going to make you two promises. Chrissy and I are going to make you three promises, actually. Number one, it'll never be as short as 60 seconds. We're always going to over deliver because we just can't shut up. Number two is we will never put anything on air that we wouldn't use or or buy ourselves. Personally, yeah, we have that choice. Like use or yeah. Or endorse ourselves.

That's just the way that it is. I'm not you're not going to find us selling Frankie B's five days five ways to get laid over 50. We're very picky. Yeah. Oh my god. I can't I have more Frankie B coming up later on the week. You have to you have to stay tuned.

And number three, you know, we're going, we're going to have sponsors and we wish that you would patron those sponsors if and when you have an opportunity, if it's something that you like and if you're out there looking for those services, those products, the reason being is because that helps everybody. That allows us to create more content, more frequently better content, spend more time in it. You know how it goes, I don't need to tell you. I imagine that our audience, they're just not fucking idiots.

Like, I am at, when we do the show. We're highly intellectual. Highly intellectual. Like just like us. Yes. Just like us, intellectuals, the intellectual type. Yes. The Forbes Teen Mom.

Forbes Teen Mom. Forbes Teen Mom. Potty Training. Potty Training. Those three things go hand in hand. When I do the show, I imagine that our listener, I just imagine one listener is in the room with us, having a good time with us, right? And so I just envision the super smart guy or gal that's just like sharp, witted, good, looking, drives a Mazzarati.

Looks like Sofia Vergara. Looks like Sofia Vergara. Yeah. Minus any kind of clothing. You know. That's our third promised you. We'll never sell clothing to you. That's where you want to envision you with it off.

I shouldn't make that promise. Maybe Macy's wants to make a big buy here at the commercial break. But anyway, now you know the story. So if you hear that we're dropping in sponsors over the course of a show, that's why we're dropping in the sponsor over the course of the show.

It's a good thing for the show. It could be a good thing for you. Let's see how it all turns out. I'm not sending you a check. I'm just letting you know that. I'm just letting you know that. They could find new things that could help them. Yes, that's right.

Groceries. Groceries. Mental health. Clothing. Clothing. We just said we're not gonna sell clothing. Iceries. Groceries. Mental health. Um, clothing. Clothing. We just said we're not going to sell clothing. I'm not going to sell you anything I wouldn't, I wouldn't use myself.

Clothing. Tobacker. Marbo, have you tried our cigarettes? They're an apricot. It helps with digestion. Did you know that? That Marbo used to put out. Oh, they used them to make up everything that it helped with.

Marbo used that. After sex. I know, after sex. Well, I don't think, and I was back in the 80s, but in the 50s, the 40s and 50s, they would take out whole magazine spreads. And the magazine spreads would digest, it would digest, digest, digest, digest of help.

And the whole spread would be sponsored by a doctor, a particular doctor, like the surgeon general, actually. It's more thinking honestly. Yeah, seriously. Just claim it. These things kill people, but if we get the surgeon general to say they don't

or not to say that they don't, but just to ignore the fact that they do all together, then we're on to something marketing-wise. These guys, these Ed these admin were wise. They were. Yes. Yeah. Tobacker.

I love a good cigarette in the morning. Thank you, Chrissy. What's my name again? Percy Vanderbluge. The, the Crescent Cup. Hi, I'm Brian Green for the Crescent Cup. I'm Percy Van Van Van de Chloof for the Crescent Cup. Are you sick of your wife having wild wolverines out her? But you do use the Crescent cup. I used sick of taking care of wild badges coming out of your woman's womb. Everybody is. Well, use the Crescent cup. It's the brand new state of the eye technology. the crescent cup. It's the brand new state of the art technology created by the Androthro all in cooperation. We've tied we've we've woven bamboo sticks together

to make sure your man juice never gets past the goal. You can go wild. Go nuts. Don't pull out, push in. That's what I say. Welcome aboard sponsors. Welcome to the commercial. Yeah. TCBPodcast.com is where you go. You can find out more information about Chrissy and I. 470-584-844-9 is where you can either text or text because apparently I didn't send up the voicemail.

So you can text or text. I tried to call last night. I know. I didn't know. And it said unavailable. I had no idea. I was like, what about all of our listeners trying to get through? All of our listeners trying to get through this crush of phone calls that we're getting on a daily basis. Brian, you failed

on the job. Can I talk to you about your student debt? And now they're really fucking tricky. What they do is they call up with the super automated computer system and I'm like, you know, it's like, cling, cling, hello. Um, hi, he's Mr. Brian Green there. And I'm like, oh, yeah, this is Brian Green. Thanks. I wanted to talk to you about your student debt. And I'm like, well, you're welcome. What do you want to talk about? I don't have any student debt. That's interesting. Did you know you could save $10,000 a year on your talk about? I don't have any student debt. That's interesting. Did you know you could save $10,000 a year on your student debt?

I just said I don't have student debt. Thanks. Would you like to talk to a representative about your student debt? I don't have any student debt. Great. I can help you save one moment please. And I'm like, I didn't,

but what they do is they get you involved in a conversation with a computer and then you don't even know it. I'm like, I didn't, but what they do is they get you involved in a conversation with a computer and then you don't even know it. It's like, I've had something recently that they called in there like, we've tried to deliver paperwork to your house. Oh yeah, I'm with the FBI. We've tried to deliver paperwork to your house.

I mean, I'm like, well, I don't, I think I'm good, but. Yeah, but yeah, yeah. But if you can't deliver it, I never got it. Yeah. I never received it. I missed the court date. You're on it. I Know I did your honor. I've tried that one before it does not work by the way Ignorance is not a legal defense just letting you know that. I know I'm hoping we don't get card I won't I one time. I think we're all good though. Yeah, I think we're good

I won't time missed a court date by 11 and a half years and when I got one time, Mr. Cortinate by 11 and a half years. And when I got back, but, we'll see. We'll see. I didn't know about that. I never got the message. Because we didn't have telephones back when I got that ticket.

But I, when I finally showed back up, like this is a whole, I have a funny story about that. I was a whole fucking clusterfuck. And then I got my license suspended. It was like a whole thing. It was like a five year process to get my license, like legally, without every time that I got pulled over,

I'd end up, you know, being almost in handcuffs because of this one ticket that I honestly had just forgotten about, but then claimed I never knew about, because I had forgotten about. Same thing, yes. So, so, so, so they haul me in one, so then finally I hire a lawyer and I'm like, listen, here's the deal, he's like, you, the 11 years?

No, I asked the 11 years? You didn't get the messages? Like, no one called you. You didn't get the sheriff at your door. Like, you know, this is a, I was driving without insurance. I was driving a girlfriend of mine's car, whose insurance had expired. So then I got the ticket for no insurance, which is a big deal in the state of Georgia.

It's a big deal. It has to drive with insurance. So, and he's like, I can't believe this has been going on for 11 years, and you have not either been to jail, or, you know, and he's like, the fine you're this has been going on for 11 years, and you have not either been to jail or, you know, and he's like, the fine you're gonna have to pay is outrageous, if they just take them. So, we pick a court date, we go in, and the young judge who was, I was probably like 23 at the time,

and it looked like the judge was my age too. It looked like she was also 23. Cute lady, really cute judge. I know Judge Judy type, I'm talking like, so few of a guy with type judge, right? And so she says, Mr. Green, nice of you to join us in court today. And I was like, we've been waiting for you for 11 years.

I know she says after 11 years, you didn't get one of our messages. Now one of the phone calls, not any of the services and I was like, you're on her. Honestly, most of that time I didn't have a home. I was like, I didn't have a bail box. I had creditors chasing me like crazy. I was ignoring every single one.

You were one of many, your honor. I had other fish to fry if you don't, I mean, try to figure out how I was gonna put food in my mouth. I ignored you. I didn't drive your honor, they wouldn't let me. That's why I have my girlfriend's car without insurance. And by the way, the craziest thing is I get pulled over. She has a no tag thing on the back, right?

It says tag applied for. When I get pulled over, the reason why I got pulled over is because the tag was applied for she bounced the check to the revenue department and low and behold, that's why I get pulled over because she she bounced the check to the revenue department and low and behold, that's why I get pulled over because she had bounced the check to the revenue department. The tag was applied for with a bad check. I mean, I almost went to jail. Luckily, the guy believed me.

He was like, okay, obviously you're not Mrs. whoever, whatever, right? So on your way, but I have to give you the no insurance ticket. And it just went on, it just dragged on for 11 years. It was just a total cluster I'm I'm in a much better headspace now that's good headspace headspace. Oh Yeah, there we go

Gotta let you know that the commercial break this episode of the commercial break is sponsored by better help dot com You've been to better help dot com. I have I have I absolutely loved it. It was super easy to sign up. Got on there. So the little loud. It was super easy to sign up. I actually used it before they were ever a sponsor. They're just our sponsors now and I used it like two years ago. Yeah, so I was connected to a psychiatrist or counselor. Counselor therapist. Yep. And connected to a psychiatrist or counselor. Counselor therapist. Yep, and that gave me some really good tips and helpful advice, and I did some work sheets, and it was really helpful.

Absolutely. So it's no secret that I have for the second half of my adult life, I have been going to therapy. And I quite frankly, I don't think that there is, I don't think there's an amount of self-awareness that you can have that disqualifies you from therapy. I think therapy, everybody should do it. Everybody should do it.

And a good qualified therapist won't, isn't gonna give you all the answers, but they talk it out of you. It's just like an amazing, they give you tools. Yeah, they give you tools and tricks. With what you're going through. It could be anything.

Sometimes they just put a mirror right in front of you. There's your problem. There's your problem. There's your problem. It's you. And BetterHelp is an online service that basically matches you with a therapist and pretty quickly too, within 48 hours, usually. For 10% off, you can go to betterhelp.com slash commercial break.

That's betterhelp.com slash commercial break for 10% off your first couple visits. I think it's a great service. Chrissy has used it herself. I use, I'm currently going to therapy. I think I will for the rest of my life. Because, frankly, it's a valve. It's like a release valve. And even though I may not have some emergency that's going on right that moment, it's good maintenance. Yeah, it's good maintenance. That's right. It's like a cartoon for your head. Good stuff. Yeah. BetterHealth.com slash the commercial break. So I thought that I would have a discussion with you, speaking of mental health. I thought I would have a discussion with you

about mind-strange diction since I told you last week. Oh, we were talking last week about the people who drink the gasoline, the people who huff the gasoline. No, we didn't talk about that. Yes, we did. You forgot. I talked about the girl who drink the gasoline. Yes, we didn't talk about that. Yes, we did. You forgot. I talked about the girl who drink in the gasoline. Oh, we did. Yes, yes. I'm sorry, I'm stuck on the rocks. The woman who eats rocks.

Okay. So I probably, the woman. See you, okay. Hey. She might need to go to betterhelp.com. All these people need betterhelp.com. I'm telling you right now, these people, I mean, obviously these people have some kind of mental illness,

like, or they have some kind of picadillo that they need help with because it's dangerous to their actual human being condition. Yes, physical well-being. Physical well-being. So I picked three of what I think are the strangest of the mice, strangest addictions that we haven't covered yet. We've covered a few of them already.

Are you ready for this? Yes. Okay, let's go with lady that drinks gasoline. Do you want to go with the lady that drinks gasoline? Yes, she's the little like traveler cop. She has four travelers copes, hold the fiend to you here. This hold on one second. I just got to set it up.

Okay, ready? Here we go. My name is Shannon. I'm 20 years old and I'm addicted to young attractive woman. I'm just sharing with you what you can't see right now. Young attractive woman. To drinking gasoline. The music. But Freddie Cruz on Thanksgiving.

Also that's how he got all the burned off. Don't you remember? Night of the man, Elm Street. It started off with Freddie, drinking gasoline today from the palm. And he said his face on fire. We probably shouldn't joke because this girl can set her face on fire.

If you drink gasoline and then you eat a light in cigarette, is there any danger that you could explode? I think so. Are you serious? You don't think that like your saliva would dilute in some way, I don't think you would explode, but you may catch on fire. I think it's just the same as exploding. I think I almost rather explode.

I picture like a die hard explosion. Oh, okay, there you go. Mel Gibson style. But there's also just like a little flame that could pop up. I'm imagine tuna is just driving off the side of a cliff. Oh no! I think before that you might just get so high on the gasoline view. That's the thing.

Well, when you're drinking the gasoline, though, you're not really getting up. I mean, maybe I don't know. That's crazy. And down the road. Bro, to the high on gas. Scissor-erp, it's filler-erp. I can't go a day without it. Like I crave it, I need it. I'll wake up, go to the washroom, and drink the gas.

If I go out somewhere, I'll put it in. I feel the same way about Xanax. It'll get me. It'll be dangerous to your body. It is just like the most incredibly dangerous thing I've, and she's been doing this for you, for, wait, listen to her. Small water bottle. When I fill up my car, I'll put all over my hand.

I do it before I go to bed. It consumes your life. One year ago, Shannon developed a deadly addiction to drinking gasoline. I can't believe you make it a year drinking gasoline without dying You're like here's some for you cars. Yeah Would you like some fresh gasoline? I Can pump it right straight to your mouth. Oh well, but you come down in the well with me I'm getting the whole I'm getting a throat full every five minutes.

Not on purpose. What are you a lady? Since then she's gone from tasting the toxic liquid on her fingers to taking swigs of it every day. Oh my god Tasting it. How did you first taste it? I don't know I mean I just spilled it on my my leg earlier as I got gas. I know I was overflowing all over and I was like God and then I wasn't like but let me taste it. Yeah, yeah, I have no I have no desire to taste my gasoline None whatsoever none zero my gasoline none whatsoever none zero. Actually, I think this I think gasoline is quite a disgusting smell.

Actually, it's not like the most horrible smell, but it's very pungent very pungent. Sweet and sour. No, this isn't no, this isn't kung pow chicken. Yeah, I got sweet sour. It's not sweet and sour. I don't buy it. It's a fucking bullshit.

I think it tastes like bleach. That's what it tastes. It must taste like bleep. The way it smells, it must be so corrosive to your tongue. I mean, to me, it tastes like skull and crossbones. Yeah. Don't do this. Don't do this.

Don't do this. It's gonna be, I wonder what it does to your teeth. It must like strip the an apple, right off. Yeah, yeah, that's like the- That's like the- That's like those methods. Just kills their teeth. Tang- Ugh. Oh, ting.

Ugh. He saw us. Tingles at first and then the burns are back in my throat. You don't say. Oh. You don't say Alyssa or whatever your day was. You don't say the gasoline burns the back of your throat. You didn't think that was gonna happen when you,

how do you even, that's what I was saying. How do you even get to the point? How do you taste a typical like let me see what this tastes like. You have a bad day, you just broke up with your boyfriend. I just need some gasoline. Let me taste it.

I just need some gasoline. Or maybe, I'm not gonna go there. The forbidden fruit. The forbidden fruit of octane 93. Shell with, I mean, does she like a specific grade? Like 87, 89, 90, something? Maybe she likes a little mixture. Maybe she likes stuff.

Maybe she likes, what do they call that? The little ethanol. It's a diesel. The little ethanol makes a little diesel. A little diesel. That's right. You know what I'm into? Tesla car batteries.

I just go ahead and put that charger right in my mouth. Yeah. That's the thing. One day, you wanted to try it. But it burns it back in my throat. Can't understand. Don't get it. No, it hurts me. I just drink the battery juice. That's what I do. It makes me feel bad. When I first found out she makes her feel good. I wonder if it gets you high. I wonder if there's something that's happening.

Yeah, something's going on. You don't just drink gasoline for shits and giggles. Even if you like the taste, it's just not you got to to be, this girl sounds smart enough to understand that this has got to be dangerous for her health. Yeah. I don't believe it. Does she? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. She does, she's cute. She's not a cat. Or maybe she is a cat. I'm not sure. Okay. But, but you know, here's the crazy part, right? Is that when gasoline gets all over the place, to me, it's a smell that I can't take.

Like if I get gasoline on my hands or my clothing, when I'm pumping, then it's just a smell that's overwhelmed the car, and I just wanna get out. I know I doused myself in hand sanitizer. Yeah, didn't you just like pour it all over you? No, I didn't mean to. I'm like, um, hmm. It's a likely story.

You see that camera right there? It's not for the commercial right. You're on my strange addiction. What is the movie where they're doing the gasoline and it's blue steel? And it's the, um, tang it. Oh, Tommy Boy. No, no, no.

No, gasoline, blue steel. Oh, Zoolander. Oh Tommy boy. No, no, no, no gasoline. Who's steel? Oh, Zoolander. Oh, that's right. They blow up. That's right. And horrible gasoline. So you poured gasoline all over yourself. Did I? I didn't mean to. It just overflowed. I was pissed. Well, the good news is you don't smell like gasoline right now. I can't smell it. I doused myself with the hand sanitizer. Oh, that's what you do smell like. Yes. It's not a gasoline smell. It's a really good hand sanitizer. It's like cinnamon and clothes. Cinnamon and clothes. Not as sanitizer.

That's a candle. They melted down when COVID came around. They're like, we're going to make millions. No, it was like, we're gonna make millions. No, it was like cinnamon. It's like an alcohol distillery. Oh, really? Uh-huh. Yeah, but I'm not saying now that the alcohol distilleries missed the mark.

I mean, I haven't had COVID. Oh, that's true. That's all that really matters. I have a friend who's like, you know, I keep going out to restaurants and I haven't gotten it yet, so must not be real. I'm not going that far. One time.

But I'll trust my hand sanitizer. One time I had just gotten by the very first car that I ever bought brand new. It was Honda Accord, like a 19. I remember that. That's a beautiful, no, 2000 for Honda Accord, right? I just, I only got a year old when we met. In the first day that I get it, I drive it off the lot.

And the guy's like, he's like rushes and he goes, oh man, we detailed the first day that I get it. I drive it off the lot and the guy's like, he's like rushes and he goes, oh man, we detailed the car, but I forgot to fill it up, right? And I was so excited about the new car. I'm like, don't worry about it. You know, when I took off down the street and I get what, 10 miles down the street,

I'm like, I'm gonna fill this bad, but I have to figure out what's going on. Yeah. You're a huge inspiration. We've been trying to get you. We've been trying to get you we've been trying to get you Are you Brian green the whole the whole county of cops been looking for you You're your cobs most wanted not driving your girlfriend's guy Your cobs most wanted traffic ticket guy

We've seen your face a lot of poster for years. They have like the violent gangsters and then they've got you know most wanted traffic ticket guy. We've seen your face a lot of poster for years. They have like the violent gangsters and then they've got, you know, most wanted ticket guy and Brian Green. Did it? Did it? Did it? They have a vatiness for years. Yeah, I know. We're gonna get that clown one of these days.

I pull into the chevron, right? And I'm just so excited. You know, of course, I pull around the pump seven times because I don't even know what side the things are. Right. And so finally I get in and I'm just. You had a trick to of course I pull around the pump seven times because I don't even know what side the things are. Right. And so finally I get in. You had a trick to know how that is.

I figured that out about a year ago. Like with everybody else on fucking Instagram. Yeah, the little arrow. They could have told you that when you leave the dealership. Like if you ever forget. I just wanted to tell you that. Yeah, I guess they take it for granted. I heard that from a friend years ago and now I always know

but it's not something that's widely told. It's not and it should be something that we should all. It should be one of the, well, I think it is now because there's, but you know, but it's not something that's widely told. It's not, and it should be something that we should all, it should just be one of the, well, I think it is now because there's, but you know, these Instagram memes that are going around. By the way, this is where it's side you should pull into. Yeah, this is the side that you should pull into. Just look for the little arrow next to the gas tank symbol

inside of your car, where the, into your fill. Of course it does. Yeah, you give you some kind of indication because you're inside the fucking car. How are you supposed to know? And your mirrors never quite show you the profile over here it is. And now these days, some kind of indication because you're inside the fucking car. How are you supposed to know? And your mirrors never show you the profile over here. It is. And now these days, they don't even have like a little bumper. And have you ever been

like a rental car or something? They didn't do it. And then you go on the right side. You figure that part out, but then you get you have no idea how to open the. Yeah. Is it under? Is it over? Yeah. Are you pressing it? Trying to to pop it open. Oh, there was this guy that we used to know, and his name was Paul. Hey, Paul. And he used to say this, we knew him during the Olympics, he gave us a job painting houses, when we were waiting for the Olympics to come around,

we were gonna work downtown. And Paul used to pick us up in the morning for painting. He goes, you're just at the age where you're scared, a pussy. And I was like, oh, really? And he's like, yeah, you guys didn't even know what it is yet. He's kind of like 32 years old and we were 20, right? And he's like, you're just a D.H.

Follow me, let's pay some houses. I know, and I'm like, well, Paul, I don't see you. I don't see the poo-tang dripping off you either. That's because I, I'm like a ninja. I get in and I get out. Girls think I'm a little bit of a nerd, but once they get to know me and I'm not scared of it. I know what it is, I know how to use it and work it and I'm like oh

But I was wise enough even at 20 to know I had been laid way more than this Whatever Sometimes I get in there and like you know, it's I do in the inside of a house and the husband leaves and it's like a porn movie. And I'm like, oh yeah. Really, you got your paint brush out? And Paul is sick. I wonder what ever happened to Paul. Probably in jail.

Yeah. He's in jail. He's a cat. So I pull up, I pump the gas. Use my credit card. I pump the gas. I'm feeling right. I can pop in my collar.

I'm doing everything right. Because I just got a new fucking card. I'm like, boom, silver, of course. Yeah, silver, accord, low profile. I got the seat back. I got a CD player, 666, this change right in the car. That's right. I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get satellite.

Did you have seat warmers? Oh no, no, no, no, please, seat warmers. That was a high end shit. You didn't get that. I had cloth seats. And remember, they were cloth seats. But I loved it. I loved that little car because it became,

it was so small that it became an extension of my arm. By the way, no one could fit the back in. That car had a lot of balls. We did that car everywhere. We did. Yeah, the car everywhere. I just thought I was so cool in that car. It was a good looking car.

At the time, it was a good looking car. Thank you very much. You fit my personality, right? That little accord. But let's let all of our listeners picture what happened next. What happened next? You drove off of the gas.

I, well, listen, I get up to the light. I get up to the light and this guy next to me, wave and like this and like the middle of the summer. I had no idea what was going on. I had the music blast. I don't know. It's the blind. Like this. Like the middle of the summer. I had no idea what was going on. I had the music blast. I don't know. I don't know. Probably drunk.

I don't know. Yeah. I didn't survive. I don't know. I got sent sentio. I got no crystal ball. What's up? Honda.

2002. I got them factory rooms. It's like CD player. Space gray. Cloth. I got them. I got them. I got them. I got them. I got them. I got them. I got them factory rooms Space Gray cloth seats six disc city players if you want serious you can go to auto auto tunes and

I've put it in for you It's sad like this on top of your car You could pick up how it's turned and the brave game. Check me out. AMFM. What up? I got the big fat dials for my air conditioning with a little little fan symbol in the middle. You want to turn it up? Hit that dial. So yeah, I got this little sticky, shifty thing, but it's not stick-shifty, it's automatic.

So, it, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Guys waving at me and I'm like, hey, hey, and so I rolled down the window and he's like, you got a gas pump. And I said, yeah, I just pumped gas and he goes, you got the actual pump. So he still had the pump. And I didn't understand what he was saying.

So then I look at it. I don't pump it, pump it so then I look at it. I know Love it Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro Friday happy Friday happy Friday 2006 good cold Yeah, and he says no, it's the actual pump And so I look in my rear view I look on the side mirror and I notice that the pump is still in the car. What's the host? The host was dragging off the car. They're breakaway. I don't know if you know this. They break away at the top of the pump. If you look next time you look, they've got like two

little like connector things and they've made the breakaway. I have seen that and I've heard of other people do. Oh my god, cozy. I was like, I was like, I was like a third of a mile down the road. Quarter of a mile, something like that. I was like, I was like,

yes, really? I didn't know I couldn't put the hose in my car. Then my car smelled like gasoline. I thought that was dangerous. So I just turned around and drove back from the stage with the is in my car? Did you spend your turn thinking? Yeah, I was.

I did. I'm turning my hazards. Turn. Oh my gosh, shit, I'm going to have to pay for this. I can't. I just picked up a $300 payment. I can't afford this. I wonder what it's a gas bomb coming.

It's supposed to be expensive. What is a gas bomb? It's supposed to be expensive. I'm thinking all these things to myself and I was married at the time. I'm like, my life's gonna kill me. There goes our vacation money. I just took the pump down the street. And then I thought to myself, am I gonna be able to keep it? I bought a VP pump.

I'm not gonna be able to keep it. Can I keep the pump? That's the question. So I pull in the, I pull in the handicap spot and some lady's like, you got to putt, and I'm like, hey, I know. And I walk in, I walk in and now there's a line. I pull the my handicap.

There is a line of people that are waiting at the gas station to get whatever cigarettes and coffee or whatever. And so I just patiently waited my turn. And then I come up, by the way. And I'm like, how much for that pump? I'm on pump three. No, no, I actually took the pump. I have pump three.

Not I'm on it, I have it. It's in my car, on my car actually. It's attached to my car. So I go, I go, sir, yes, said, I got your pump, it's in my car. What do you mean, do I have my bump? And I said, it's actually sticking out of the side of the car and he goes, you drove away with the pump?

And I said, yes. And he goes, I said, you know, he said some word. And another language, the curse word. And then he goes, oh my gosh. And so then he came out and he looked at it and he goes, okay, there's no damage. I just take the pump back if you don't mind. I don't mind, of course. Yeah, what is I gonna say? If you don't mind. I'm like, no, I don't mind, of course.

Yeah, what was I gonna say? If you don't mind, I'd like to keep this for a three-minute or three-minute-hour. If you don't mind. How much for the pump? How much? I just got this car and I'd like, it looks good. It's a good accessory.

It keeps people off, it keeps, it's like a force field around me. It's like, instead of a spoiler, you had a pump. Yeah, that's right. Meanwhile, there's gas just like dripping, like not pouring, but like a steady stream of gas just coming out of that spoiler you had a bomb. Yeah, that's right. Meanwhile, there's gas just like dripping like not pouring But like a steady stream of gas just coming out of that pump or I pulled it There's like a hole splash and there's gasoline coming out of the back of the pump out of the back of the thing

That's a heart, too. It's a whole fucking mess It's unbelievable. Well the girl on my strange addiction would have loved you Hey honey look what I got. I got a phone. A whole hose. I love you. I love you. Let's find out what happens with people. She's drinking gas, but there's someone else who's huffing gas.

Are you ready for this one? Okay. My name is Teresa. I'm 44 years old. I'm from William's sport, Pennsylvania, and I'm addicted to smelling gasoline. Yeah, but now hold on. I just want to clarify. This is not in a strange addiction. This is getting high. Correct. Yes. When you have paint, you say, you know, you have gas, it's like, coughing paint, you get hot.

So. All those things like in the container in the grocery store, the cleaner. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, the whipped cream cans. The whipped cream cans. Yeah, but the guy I guess was leaning is much stronger.

Do you know one time my friend was like, you know, the whipped cream can't, he's like, he read this, this is way before the internet. I knew you would have a story. I knew I would have a story. This is unbelievable. So I was living with my friend and it was just a shady situation altogether

and he was kind of my friend, but he's kind of weird too. And we were just about to go to a concert, like the Grateful Dead concert or something. And he's like, he's like, we should get some whippets, but I know something that's better than whippets. And I was like, what's that? And he's like, free on.

And I'm like, free on, or the fuck do you get free on? We can take it from the air conditioning unit and we lived in an apartment So in the middle of the day he was back behind the the he was back behind the apartment units and he was pulling free on into a garbage bag Oh, you put it in a garbage bag. Yeah, it's heavy. It's like you can go like this and it's like Flump flump because free on is heavier than air So he comes in with this garbage bag have full with free on where he's like literally you could go flump flump because frion is heavier than air. So he comes in with this garbage bag, half full with frion where he's like, literally you could go flump flump.

It was crazy and he goes, he takes a half a breath of it. Let's hit the road. No, he goes. Ready. He went straight into the TV. He fell and went straight down into the TV. He's right. Yeah, it took it further.

Oh, we were going to the further fest. The great for the further fest. And I was telling him, I was like, you took it further, bro, it took it further. Oh, we were going to the further fest the great for the first and I was telling them I was like you took it further bro. You took it further. I won't be trying that. Yeah, I won't be trying that. I did. It was I did. It was weird. I went into some K hole for like six hours. I came back out and I had missed not a second of the conversation. I never did that again. I was like, this is so strange. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is I roll over, sit up, and smell my gas bottle. That's the same thing that Matias did with Matias. I roll over, I smell his gas. Good morning, Zaza. Good morning, Matias. Dada, Guccino. And I'm like, oh, Matias.

Then I'll get up, take another sniff of the gasoline, and then I'll come downstairs, and a couple minutes later, I'll take another sniff of it. You got to get revved up in the morning. Yeah, it's like a heroin ad if you got to get your fill. You've been sleeping all night long in the years. Yeah. Jones and Teresa has been addicted to smelling gasoline

for over 30 years. 30 years! 30 years 30 years 30 30, three zero years. I mean, that's just a lifestyle at this point. Yeah, no, that's just like she needed to survive I think don't take it away from her. Keith Richards don't take it away. The Keith Richards of gas. If you don't have it, you might die. That's right She takes a sniff every 10 minutes and even wakes up in the middle of the night for a fix. Oh, you know You got a good one. You're sniffing it in the morning and in the middle of the night At all. Yeah at all I had a friend who did this with Viagra one time and look at him. He ended up in the hospital

Never heard from him again. Literally pushed him out of the car Come back and I'll explain how it smells. I just love the smell of it, how it makes my nose feel inside the back of my throat. I mean, she's been doing it for 30 years. There's no harm in it now. I think it was only 13 years. Where is it? You see it?

Yeah. After a certain point, it just does no harm. 30 years. I like it. I like your way of thinking. I'm going to get started on my bike and then have it right now. Mm-hmm. By 20 years from now last 30 years right now You're good listen. I think it's a true story

I know a lot of people who smoke pot all day long every day they've been doing it for years And they're just just like put some ad in even pace, right? They're not they're not high. They're not low They're just like normal. Yeah, yeah, lifestyle part of the life. I know a guy who eats a bunch of damn Live in La you the loka livin livin last Chevron loka livin lobby p loka Hey, what did the smell of gas game wait what I think she said ask and she asked him or gas

Hey rewind hey, do you want to spill my ass? No, it was gas man. Okay, I'm talking about gas. That's the same thing. Ask and gas can. No, it's different. I'm gonna start calling my butt the gas can Hey, honey, check up my gas can melt it that one time and that was all it took Yep, one time is that was all it took. Yep. One time it is a gateway drug. That's how I felt about sex.

That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation.

That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. That's how I felt about masturbation. Yeah. Now she stashes four water bottles filled with gasoline throughout the house for easy

access. Oh my god. No matter where I'm at, I have a bottle with me. I keep it either in my pocket or in my jacket pocket. When I eat, it's sitting right there at the kitchen table. Case I get that urge. What do you mean? Oh, she's stopping to smell right now.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I now. No, I don't think you feel better. I bet it did make you feel better. I thought that was her. Oh my god, this is highly dessert. I like who this microphone smells. This thing hits me as it smells.

You stop it. It smells like you want. We're on air. We're smelling gas while you're cooking. Keep yourself together. And your point is, you don't like it go upstairs. We treat so it doesn't have gasoline, watch out. No, she doesn't get very angry.

Watch out. Watch out. I'm not going to your brain. I feel the same way about bad reality TV. Well, I don't have it. Listen, we don't have time to go into the whole clip, but just know that like they get into fights and then she goes to the doctor and the doctor's like,

oh, and the other thing is. I'm out. If Jeff's having gas. I'm out of Jeff's, the oven gas. I'm out. I'm out. If a faster start to drinking gasoline or having gasoline or eating mattresses, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

I didn't even get to the eating mattresses part, which I wish I had gotten to. Because there are, there's a lady eating. I actually think in pale, paleing into it. My grandfather needs to get a new mattress. What kind of she eating? She's eating the phone kind. Okay. Yeah, the cheap kind. Oh, no. You know, you have a new mattress. What kind of she eating? She's eating the phone kind Yeah, the cheap kind. Oh, you know, you have a phone mattress isn't that cheap? Don't they make them with something else these days? I got an avocado bird feathers and avocado

Oh, I thought you like film an avocado Not a sponsor Yeah, that's a good brand actually. Do you like your avocado? Love it. Yeah. How's it working for you? Love it, mattress. And you and Jeff have a little bit more room and you're feeling good about each other. Yeah, teaming you at the King, yeah.

We love it. Wow. It's amazing. Love you. Hey, thanks for joining us today. TCPpodcast.com is where you go to read more about Chrissy and I, you can read all the show notes, find all of our episodes.

You can find the YouTube episodes and the audio episodes right there at TCPpodcast.com. Make sure you go visit betterhelp.com slash commercial break. Thank you for sponsoring the show today. Use the slash. Use the slash. Use the use commercial break. Not the commercial break, but just commercial break.

Make sure you use that. And at the commercial break on Instagram, wow, our Instagram keeps growing and growing. I know, and I need to grow my little page. Yeah, you need to have your own little fiefdom because I think I think people like you and I think they want to get into you. I mean, I'm not a little ready. Oh, what was that? Hey, could I see you? Hey, are you? Hi, Henry. I turned my phone upside down.

Hello? Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Speaking of wanting to get into you. And my king's life matter. And my king's life matter.

And my king's life matter. And your king's life matter. And your king's life matter. And your king's life matter. We can combine those two activities later on this afternoon. How are you feeling? Are you available? Good, yes.

Yes, tell Jeff I'll be over in a little while. Okay. Thank you. Bye, we're all easier to help you, ego. We haven't heard a lot from him season two. No. Maybe we'll have to have a special episode where we talk to him. He's been busy. We've been busy.

Everyone's been busy. Yes. I love you. I love you. What else more do we have to say today? That's it. That's all we can fit in there. So until next time, bye.

Bye. That's all we can fit in there. So until next time, bye you