The Commercial Break - Give 'Em The Bryan Look

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

What’s the most traumatic thing that can happen to you on vacation? Getting two twin beds, of course. Welcome back to the tinfoil hat people The Blue & Juan Show! Taylor Swift political conspiracy theories? Bryan’s grasp on the English language is fair to middling… Guys, it’s quotidian, not quintinian! If you can’t remember the Word of the Day, was it a success? The i am rectangular guy was held up by armed rebels in Africa Bryan & Astrid’s ill fated trip to Paris Shoutout to Stacy from Travelocity While Bryan & Astrid loved Paris, Producer Christina feels the need to provide some balance, as she refers to Paris as Ass Paris, because she thinks Paris is ass. Bryan tells us a horrifying travel story Nutella crepes LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   626.ASK.TCB3 text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Think about me, no matter how bad a situation is, I'm gonna crack a little jokie joke. And you failed me because we depressed, I did. On this episode of the Commercial Break... And I get on the phone with Travelosity. I call their phone... Oh, Travelosity. And so, I... Let's go around.

Oh, yeah, I just booked something on Travelosity the other day. I hope I can pay for it, but I just booked something on travel velocity the other day. You don't have to pay until you check in. Great. Perfect. Great. Perfect. Can I pay after?

I check out? Like a couple days after? I need a couple days to pay you back. It's all good. Don't worry about it. I'm good for it. You can use this credit card number, but don't try it right now. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Wooo! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is the wife of Gizzy Jazz Jeff. Chris, enjoy, Hoadley, best of you, Chris. Yes, Brian. And best of you all, you Gizzle Drizzle fans out there. Welcome back to the commercial break of your intrepid host Brian Green. This is my intrepid co-host, Pragmatic, son of a father. I'm the son of a father, the brother of a brother, the bastard of a mother.

I am Brian Green. I'm here. Yes, you are. Here, I'm there, I'm everywhere. I'm here. All right, we're gonna do it. Another episode here. Back in the TCB studios live from somewhere north of Atlanta.

You guess. You guess. Don't dox me, bro. Don't dox me, bro. Sure, this would be the easiest, probably the easiest podcast ever to dox, but I'm not going to give you any more clues. You have to figure it out by yourself. You know, it's scary that I was reading about like how the, who was it?

One of the Supreme Court justices, they were doxed, like they, one of the swatting or whatever they call it, like where they call the police and they say there's a shooting inside the house and the police come guns- blazing oh my god yeah it's crazy it's insane like why why in the world I don't understand it I don't get it you know what else I don't get I'm just gonna say this like I have to say this I have to tell you this I think we've reached peak idiot in this country and I'm welcoming the tinfoil hat people back into the fold. I gotta say, I don't think it's the right thing to do to then cast them off onto some island or something.

They're not looking so bad anymore. Yeah, some of the tinfoil hat people are looking pretty sane actually compared to some of the stuff that's going on right now. But I have to say, even the most insane of insanity insanity you can welcome back come on back like we used to say on the commercial break Go down the rabbit hole will throw you a ladder right because I am hearing the most ridiculous conspiracy theories around Taylor Swift and This and in the Super Bowl now. I don't know the first fucking thing about And the Super Bowl. Now, I don't know the first fucking thing about, I don't know the first fucking thing about football

and I will be the first to admit that. I really don't. Well, you already did admit it when you thought the Chiefs lost. Yeah, I thought the Chiefs lost in the playoffs and now it seems like they're heading to the Super Bowl despite the loss. Exactly.

The dumbest thing I've ever said on the commercial break and I so want to take that episode down but I'm going to take it on the chin. I made a huge break and I so want to take that episode down, but I'm gonna take it on the chin Huge mistake, and I'm sorry about that. That's all the chiefs fans or anybody out there Who has any respect for NFL football the NFL product is the most popular sport besides WWE in the world? I think it is it I think WWE is the most popular sport in the world I don't know at least the WD at least you know what you're getting with the WWE It's the most honest always but soccer to us soccer soccer toss. I don't know anyway in the United States, whatever I'm not even gonna pretend. Yeah football WWE soccer. It's all huge, right? So the NFL is

undoubtedly a Needle pusher like when Is this my Hey boss I'm- I'm- I- I- Is this my landscaper again? Listen, you're boss, I was gonna say, hey boss! Hey boss! Yes! I'm coming between 12 and 4 like you told me! No, I said please don't come between 12 and 4.

Got you boss, no problem. Next time, I make sure I do it. Unbelievable. This is like the fifth time they've been here this week also and we have no grass. It's the middle of the fucking winter! What are you doing? I know, I actually have mud on my car from your car. From my driveway, yes, because first of all,

it's been raining for a year, and so everything is mud. And now these guys are mowing the mud, charging me $75 every time they show up. It's fucking crazy. I gotta talk to this guy. Juan is in trouble. You're in trouble, Juan. I've played nice up until now, but now I mean business.

You better set your clock correctly. This is crazy. And I mean, they're right outside the window. They come. Anytime we start to press a record button. I know he's going to do it right on the wind. It's unbelievable. You know how many episodes have Juan and his crew back there?

All of them. It's almost blue and Juan. Or the other two co-hosts of the show. It's the blue and Juan show. You got it boss. No problem. This guy is a rather intelligent human being. I've worked him for a long time.

I've talked to him on many occasions. I can't understand what he doesn't understand about between these hours, Please do not fucking come Because it's so loud we can hear it and it goes on for 15 goddamn minutes Goddamn it. All right. I'm gonna try and continue though because you know, yeah, I don't have all day to work on this fucking commercial break I got 55 children. I got problems. Okay Let me be louder than them. I swear to God I want to open this window right now Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr grass. Thanks, Juan. You're coming to cut the grass and you're parking in the grass. What the fuck is going on in here? What are we doing with our lives? I don't know. I don't know what's going on. Well, hey, trying to keep things in perspective, if that's the

worst thing that happens today, it's good. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be a good day. Today's been an okay day. Yeah, so back to Brittany Spears and Taylor Swift or whatever Okay, I am like this I haven't even read okay Let me tell you have not delved because it's do it does not deserve my time This is side what the latest conspiracy theory is about Well, let me tell you this is what's going on Give me the the cliff notes some right wing and I mean some loony toony fucking right wing pundits are out there

pushing the notion that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey have gotten together as part of a psy ops a psychological operation to make Joe Biden win the election. That all putting the two most, two of the most popular and powerful things together, NFL and Taylor Swift, and one endorsement by that couple pushes everything over the edge and Joe Biden wins in a landslide. Oh my God.

There are so many people on the internet that are freaking out about this. You know, this fucking Vinjay Rameswamy or whatever his fucking name is. I mean, that is a very elaborate plan. How many NFL players, how many referees, coaches, executives, are they all laying down to the altar of Joe Biden?

This is fucking insane. Did they all just sacrifice them on themselves? Oh, no, no, no, no problem. I maybe have three good years in the NFL I could make it to the Super Bowl, but Joe Biden needs to win the election. Yeah, let's give it to Kelsey Yeah, let's get don't worry. I got your back on this one Kelsey Everybody's got their backs fumbling and bumbling footballs to get Joe Biden elected have we not any common fucking sense in our head This conspiracy theory makes QAnon Look like Britannica I mean I mean fucking hate dude

These is insane. This is insane Even right wing I read right wing left wing I read all kind of yeah all over the board because I do not find myself to be Affiliated I do not find myself to be partial to one particular brand of politics It's good to know what other people are saying Maybe is not in the same opinion of yours so and even right-wing News outlets are like come on guys. How are we supposed to win an election when this is what we're pushing? How are we supposed to get through to the peep, the independence out there like Brian Green? Are undecided.

Are undecided. When this is the bullshit that we're spewing, this is the bullshit that we're spewing and this is part of the problem in the United States right now. But I say to any of you that may be believing this line of horseshit, that alien light talker makes more sense than this. She really does. Honestly. And I have to tell you right now, I welcome you back with open arms. Come back to the warm waters of common fucking sense. Because this is lunacy. It's lunacy to believe that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey were put together by Big Pharma

and Joe Biden to win an election. No one, no one can keep a fucking secret. Do you think thousands and thousands of human beings are in on this and they're keeping the secret? Just think about that in your own life. How many times has your Aunt Lucy told you that Uncle Bob is fucking sticking his dick in a goat at night and you didn't go around immediately and call your friends to tell them that Uncle Bob is fucking the local goat?

This is lunacy. It's the exact same reason why we actually went to the moon. It's the exact same, I mean, it's just like you guys, because calm down, calm fucking down. Yes, Taylor Swift, and by the way the way by the way if you play into this I'm gonna play right wing Conservative strategist for a minute if you play into this you are going to anger and upset the millions and millions and millions of Taylor Swift fans And you will lose the election. Oh, yeah, there you go Taylor is allowed to say there. There's a lot of voting age

There you go. Taylor is allowed to say there. There's a lot of voting age, uh, men and women, you know, Swifties that Taylor Swift tweeted one time in 2023, go vote, register to vote, put the link to the register and 35,000 people signed up in that day. It was 11,000% upside on how many people usually registered to vote on the vote.com website or whatever it was. upside on how many people usually register to vote on the vote comm website or whatever it was Guys and girls settle down similar the fuck down Whoever's gonna win is gonna win. That's gonna be it. It has nothing to do with the NFL or Taylor Swift, right? Now now I have to admit We've got two stumbling bumbling fucking yahoo's that are gonna go at each other 2024. And, you know, it's a lesser of two evils again, but you guys gotta, this is craziness

in its most base form. It is people literally losing their minds. I know. So, I would like to, right now, right here, at this moment, I would like to endorse Frankie B. for president, because I know how important my, I know how important my endorsement is to the election. Yeah, we can write him in. You know Robert F. Kennedy in the latest poll is still polling at 14% in a five-way race.

He's polling at 14%. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I don't know what I've got I haven't seen a fucking RFK rally or anything. I don't know what he's all about but Anyway, can we please take it down a notch take it down and I settle down spring back to common sense And you guys could come here anytime you want to look how common sensical we are. Yeah, I'm a pragmatic pragmatist I'm a son of a father I common sensical we are. I'm a pragmatic pragmatist. I'm a son of a father. I come from the sperm of a nut. I mean, guys, just come back to the warm embrace of the

commercial break. We're here. We talk very gently and softly to you. Mm-hmm. That's right. And we give words of the day. We give words of the day, which we'll get to in just one second. I just had to get to this first because it makes me so upset. It just drives me loony. I was on a whole group text last night about all this with some friends and it's insane. It really is. Yeah. It really is.

And I don't even know what to say. Okay, word of the day. Let's move on. I'll move on. And also cheers to them. I've been saying this since the beginning. I want Taylor to find love. I want everybody in the world to find love.

Yeah. And I hope that they work out. I do too I think it's an immense amount of pressure To be in that relationship right now. Imagine. Yeah, and I don't know but they've had some training. So She's had some training. He was also very popular NFL player before Taylor according to everyone who knows about the NFL, right? He's a very good Player his brother have had the podcast a popular NFL player before Taylor, according to everyone who knows about the NFL, right? He's a very good player. Tina's brother have had the podcast for a little while.

I think there's a difference between being like the local hero of the chiefs and then being like a worldwide sensation. There's no one. Like there's nothing. Yeah, no, no, no. There's nothing to compare. So the bright light of Taylor Swift. At the moment, no.

She was on my list too. I mean, I don't find her to be like the world's most attractive woman. That's just my own personal perspective. But I do think she's very beautiful, right? Oh, yeah. She's not necessarily my type. I'm sorry, Taylor, but you're not necessarily my type.

But she was on my list. Like my freebie list with Astrid. You know, you get the list of celebrities. You get freebies. She was on my freebie list with Astrid. You know you get the list of celebrities you get freebies She was on my freebie list, okay, yeah, and Astrid has no fear that goes We'll see Taylor when you're done with trap give me a call I'm looking to get vivid Remus Swami elected let's do it together. Yeah No, maybe you can push Frankie. You know, I

listen, Frankie for president is better than some of the options we have out there right now. Frankie talks a bunch of nonsense, but at least he talks in full sentences. You know what I'm saying? Most of the time without having to take three deep breaths or talk about, you know, I don't know, Trump was up there talking about debanking, like debanking. What? It's debanking. And what he said is, they want to debank you. We're going to debank you. Everybody wants to debank you. Debanking. It's all about debanking. It's the new word.

He went on this like five minute rant about debanking and everyone was like, debanking? What? What is he talking about? Debanking. But then Joe has to take 3D press before he says his name. He's like, I'm on. Joe Biden. Mad, I know. Joe, come on. Mad, mad world.

It is. We can have Bernie's. That's all I can think of. All right, word of the day. I love that. Maybe, by the way. Oh, it's good. Word of the day.

What is the word of the day? We need a little, like, I need a little sound effect. Oh, well, let me give you a little sound effect then. What would you like? No. Oh, well, let me give you a little sound effect then. What would you like? No. Okay, not that one. All right. And now?

Okay. Oh, how about this? Word of the day. Word of the day. The word of the day today is nonage. Nonage? Yes. Nonage.

Okay, nonage I'm going to say is a word of the Latin descendants. That's always a good guess because almost every word comes from Latin. But it is a late Middle English word. Oh, a Middle English word. Yeah, it actually kind of comes more from French. Oh! But do you know what it was? Lay down thy sword, Sire, with your nonage.

It is the... Hold on, hold on. Okay. Innocence, please. Innocence, let's do it this way. So, Brian can try and guess what the word might mean. Okay, but then, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, well, it gives us some context. It's a fun game to play. Okay, so, uh, monkeys are far more developed during nonage than human adolescents are. Okay, so nonage then must be the period of time, like the formative years of a human being. Yeah, period of immaturity or youth. Oh. Which I thought was perfect for a show again. Awesome. Yes, all three words so far have had to do with the commercial break. of immaturity or youth. Oh. Which I thought was perfect for a show again.

Awesome. Yes, all three words so far have had to do with the commercial break. So let's go back. We've got Mahome, what is it? Bonhome. Bonhome, which means happy and delightful. Happy and delightful.

Okay. And then we've got Quintiti. Yes. Quintiti. Quintidian, Quintidian, that was what it was. Quintidian, yes. Quintidian, yes. We've got that.

Which means mundane, everyday task. That's right, that's the commercial break. Yeah. You listening to the commercial break is Quintidian, and now we've got Narnage. Narnage. Which is not, you know, gnarling on some cabbage. That is, Narnage means your formative years. Yes.

Acting like an immature, prepubescent person. So, the commercial, this describes the commercial break. Narnage means your formative years. Yes acting like an immature prepubescent person. So the commercial this describes a commercial I'm not at heart. You're not at heart. Yes. All my jokes are knowledge However, they are Quintidian also yes to do them every day see look how we're just classing up Podcast geez I never thought we'd go this direction with the show But now we're like spreading the knowledge all across the world I mean when one word at a time how many tens of people do you think are hearing this right now going? Wow? You've really expanded my knowledge Something to think about

Something to think about it is I like it. I'm with it. I'm down with you on the on the word of the day thing I think it does bring a little bit of Bring yes, knowledge knowledge on the word of the day thing. I think it does bring a little bit of. Ring. Ring. Yes. Nonnage. Nonnage. Nonnage. Nonnage.

Brian's humor is Nonnage. Nonnage. Nonnage. Exactly. Is it an adjective? It is a noun. It is a noun. So it means, so it's not,

so I am not. It's part of speech noun. Okay. So I am not Nonnage, but I had a period of time Right, exactly. There's here's another example in a sentence the summer I spent working at the park marked my transition from knowledge adulthood Transition from

Knowledge to adulthood. Yeah, that is where we are stuck on this show for 527 episodes. Yeah. 125 fucking episodes. That's okay. I'm okay. We get stuck there. I like nonage. Yeah.

I like being a little nonage. I like my nonage period here in the studio. You know, I do have to say this real quick. I think it's time to address this. The commercial break is now part of the Odyssey family. Yes. And we're so excited. Oh my God, I'm so excited.

They've been so amazing. They really have. They've been fantastic. They've been great. Seriously, it's a big change. Well, yes. But I also want to say that, you know, we were part of the Libsyn family

and they were wonderful also in their own way to us for years. And then now we've moved to Odyssey, which is another podcast network, very large radio company podcast network. And they've been nothing but wonderful to us. And, uh, and as was Libsyn was nothing but wonderful to us. And so if you notice some changes on like artwork or show notes or something like that referring to Odyssey, that's what it is.

We moved from podcast network to podcast network as middling mediocre podcasts do. So it is now the dawn of Aquarius and the dawn of Odyssey here at the commercial break. The age of Aquarius. The age of Nana nage. Check the panties. Check the panties. Let's not check your panties.

So thank you for taking on this show that's in its knowledge period. We really appreciate it, Odyssey. Thank you for all of the kind words and kind deeds that it took to get us over here, all of the bending over of the backwards that it took to get over here. And for you, what does this mean? Not a fucking thing. It really doesn't mean anything to you guys, but we just I wanted to- We're very Bonhomi about it. We're very Bonhomi about it. We're very Bonhomi about it. And listen, as this job is Quintinian, you know, we have to push a lot of content out and when you get some good support, that is awesome.

And so we're feeling very grateful and lucky to be over at Odyssey and we want to say thank you to Libsyn for all the, Libsyn AdvertisKast for all the wonderful years over here. It was during our non-edge years. Our non-edge years were with Advertise Cast for all the wonderful years. It was during our non-edge years. Our non-edge years were with Advertise Cast. That's right. But now we've grown up into big boys and girls, and we're over there at Odyssey. So it doesn't mean anything to you.

You can now listen to us exclusively on the Odyssey, not exclusively, meaning you can go over there and listen to us on the Odyssey app if you choose to do that. But not much else changes with the show. No. Except for, you know, you might notice, if I want to pull the curtain back a little bit, what you're going to notice is less advertisements in the show, and you're also, and so that's good for you.

That's a plus for you. We'll see how it works out for us. Sorry, California Border Patrol or what I thought. Sorry, Border Patrol, Kroger and the insurance company. But we do want to share that with you so that when you notice some things on the show notes or on the cover or art or whatever, you're like, wow, what is that? What is Odyssey? Odyssey is our new podcast.

And they have quite a few radio stations too. And I think maybe five here in Atlanta. Yeah, they've got like hundreds across the country. A very big radio company moving into the digital age as everybody has already, but they're also moving into the digital age and making strides in the podcast sector. They've got... They've sped us up. They did.

David Spade. They don't know what they've gotten themselves into. Yeah, they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into, but we're sure going to give them a good ride one way or the other This is the honeymoon period back in six months and let you know Yes, but I do want to thank Leah our agent Matt Leah over at Odyssey Michael Jordan every Matt everyone who's been so one Melissa at Odyssey, Michael, Jordan, every Matt, everyone who's been so one Melissa, all of the people that Odyssey have been so wonderful. Matt, our agent who has done a great job and thanks to Dave

and Trevor over at Advertise Cast who kept us around for probably a while longer than we needed to be there. But you know, we grew up with them. So our nonage years, we're with them and we do have to thank your nonage years. You'll never forget your nonage years. That's right. And like most families, it's probably a reason to go to non-editors. You'll never forget your non-editors. That's right. And like most families, it's probably a reason to go to therapy down the road, but for all of everybody involved, but for right now, we're saying our thank yous,

our goodbyes and our halos. So, all right, so let's take a break. There's enough podcast business talk for one episode. Let's take a break and then we'll be back. Yeah, boy! Let's cut to the chase. We love you and we want to hear your sweet angelic voices asking us for advice. So give us a call and leave us a voicemail at 626-ASK-TCB3.

If you're not ready for that kind of commitment, which I understand, send us a text instead at 855-TCB-8383. And as always, don't forget to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And this wouldn't be a TCB promo if I didn't tell you to go to our YouTube channel, youtube.com, slash the commercial break to watch all of our amazing video edits. You can also go to TCBpodcast.com to find everything we have ever put on the website. Let's listen to some sponsors and then we are back on track, baby. Love you.

Bye. Hey, do you remember like a couple months ago, we were talking about that guy with the song I am like that. I'm cooler. Yes. And you got that in my head cooler feeling in my bones I know but he's still singing the same fucking song on Instagram you know I reached out to that guy cuz I thought well I know on the show but then I thought well you know and I like him I don't you know he said yes he was like cool whatever you want just let me know wasn't he gonna be in Atlanta I think I think maybe he had flown to Atlanta whatever but he he

agreed to be on the show and I didn't follow up with him because I don't. That's what I don't do. Because I have a meeting in five minutes ago. No other reason except like the moment passed, right? The moment passed and I thought to myself, okay, like let's not torture this poor guy for 30 minutes on a commercial break.

So he posted this Instagram story, I don't know, about two weeks ago, and it is an insane story. All he usually does, and for those of you who don't know, we're talking about a guy on Instagram. Let me see if I can, I'll see if I can find his name, but he sang a song. And what he would do is he'd show up

at a different location. Like a different city. Different city, an airplane, an airport, a bathroom. He'd show up and he'd be like, Times Square, it'd be like, I traveled 3,700 miles to sing this song to you, right? And then he'd lip sync his song, his one song that got like a little bit viral.

And it went like this. I am rectangular, I feel it in my bones, I am rectangular, I have no holes. It's like, what? You have no holes? Everybody has holes, bro. But it was a pleasant song. It was like an earwig. It got stuck in your ear. And then he is, he is like the singing CEO is what he claims, right? He's a musical artist and he's also a CEO of what I don't know. So he gets on and it's just him talking. And I was like, oh, that's weird.

That's not his usual thing. So I stick around. It's about a three minute reel or video that he did on Instagram. And he explains, he says, listen, I usually come on here with happiness and goodness and I just want to spend a little cheer and joy with my music and all that other stuff But I do want to share this serious story something that happened to me and my family just recently Hmm and he explains that him and his family traveled to Africa and when they traveled to Africa

They decided I forget which country they were in and I don't want to get it wrong So I'm not gonna say it he says they decide to go somewhere near the border this beautiful place They're gonna drive up there for the day and come back right there I think they were actually doing like some charity work or something So they're gonna go do this charity work take a drive along the border and come back as they are Driving like the border of another another country or the border of like the the continent no the post yeah No, no, no the border of the country in the border of like the the continent no the yeah no no border of country in the interior and so he explains that as they're driving they

get stopped by some rebels some by some armed and he says that he's with his daughters and they're in this car and they don't know what to do so he complies right because what else are you gonna do armed rebels show up and you're in a strange country, you comply, right? And just pray that for somehow some way you get out of this. So these armed rebels then take them, they take the car, they start driving them around for hours and hours and hours

yelling at them, they're gonna kill them, they're gonna shoot them, you're gonna die, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's awful. Yeah, and he's like, I'm just, it's all I can do to just keep my head about me and make sure that, you know, I do whatever I can to make sure that my family is safe. And at one point they force him to get out of the car and da da da da. And then they take-

And sing the song. And sing the song. I am rectangular. Sorry. Which is funny actually. It's probably why he's still alive is because they didn't ask him to sing the song. I can't take it! So they take him around and then they grab his ATM card and they're taking out thousands of dollars across these ATMs. And finally at some point under the grace of God, the universal, karma, whatever, they let them go unharmed, which is like the best part of that story. But he wanted to share that this had happened to him and his family and that it was a really stressful and intense and dramatic situation.

So then he goes on the H3 podcast. So now my thought was, okay, now I need to reach out to him because now he's got like, let's hear this story in its full, without brevity, let's hear the full thing. But H3 podcast gets to him sooner and they're probably the better podcast to do this anyway. So, okay. So he puts out the H3 podcast and he explains the whole story.

How fucking crazy is that? I mean, how insane? Have you ever been traveling in a strange country when something insane happened and you didn't know what to do? No, so I don't want that to happen. I'm not talking about kidnapping, just like some kind of event where you were like,

oh shit, I'm in a strange land, I'm in a foreign land, I don't know what to do. I'm trying to think. No, I've had good experiences. Okay, that's good. Knock, knock, knock. That being said, I'm going to Jamaica in a few weeks and they just got upgraded to level three.

As did, what was it, Bahamas, NASA. Bahamas. Well, they got upgraded to two. Well, I thought they had like 18 murders in the Capitol in the last three months or something. Something's going down. Yeah. So when Astrid and I were in France, Well, I thought they had like 18 murders in the Capitol in the last three months or something. Some of them are going down, yeah. So when Astrid and I were in France,

I already told the story that we were there, we left the day before the Badaqan shootings and that we were in that part of Paris and that we had visited one of the cafes where some of the shooting had gone down. And that was a pretty like surreal experience and my heart goes out to anyone that was affected by that tragedy. I'm just sharing the story that I was there. I was close.

It felt real. It felt intense when I was watching it on TV. But there was another part of our trip to Paris that I haven't shared. When Astrid and I got there, when Astrid and I were separated in the sense that we were long distance. Astrid was living in Switzerland and she knew that I was going to come to Switzerland and then we're going to travel down to Paris. She said let me take care of it, you know give me your credit card information, I'll take care of arranging everything, right? And she just, you know, we talked to her. She's really good at that.

Really good at that. Very organized. She'll find a good place. So Astrid picks the Hyatt la Congrère, which means at the Congress, right? The French Congress, the Parisian Congress, which is right close to the Eiffel Tower. It's like within a mile and a half of the Eiffel Tower. Nice. And she picks a room where we can have a view of the Eiffel Tower. It's like within a mile and a half of the Eiffel Tower. And she picks a room where we can have a view of the Eiffel Tower at the

Hyatt. It is like, I am just thinking to myself, the Hyatt, I'm sure we can't go wrong. We're going to have a view of the Eiffel Tower. Yeah. How better to, uh, what a better room to be in when you're in Paris. So we get, we take a train, we get to the train station, we take a cab, we're pulling up to the Hyatt, and the Hyatt is a big round building sitting on the back of the congressional building there.

Huge round building, big old hotel, big old, you know, conference hotel. The lobby is grand, it's huge, it's like three football fields. This is incredible lobby that you walk into. And I am just so excited, because I like a good hotel, right? I'm like, oh, look at this. Look at us. There's the Eiffel Tower. We're in love with this beautiful, huge lobby.

Ah. At the high end. Ah. Ah. Astrid, you may expect this for these kinds of things for the rest of your life. Yes Astrid you can expect this for the next two weeks And we walk in we get there

The lady checks us in how you doing welcome where you're from Congratulations ever been here. Here's all the things. You're seventh floor of this, twelfth floor of that, you know, rooftop bar. You're in good hands here. It is a circular hotel. It's, you know, built like a circle, right? Like the West end down here. Correct. So we go to the elevators. And the first thing that you notice is that the elevators maybe have not been updated since 1972. They are tiny.

They are tiny and they are old. That's Europe though, I feel like. I feel like there's a lot of older buildings. And the elevators are known to be very small, as are sometimes the rooms over there, because they're not American. They don't like everything big and bad. They just need a bed and a toilet, right?

People used to be smaller too. I go to the bag. Those French people are small. They don't need all the room that we do. So we go up to whatever floor, we get out, and it's a little elevator area in the middle, and then you literally can walk in a circle around the entire thing in the hallway. So they open this room, there's a guy there to show us it,

and when they open it up, it's like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da's like, da da da da. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. It is two beds, two tiny little beds. A tiny little room. A tiny little window. A tiny little bathroom. There is blood stains on the floor. And I'm not even kidding about this.

It looks like blood stains on the floor. The carpet is gross. It smells badly like cigarette smoke because I'm sure that people smoked in there for years and years and years The ceilings are like, you know, seven foot three. So you're like it feels like you're you're being enclosed in a little box Now I know I'm being a little bratty about this, but that's just me. I'm a little bratty about some of these things So I am so I open the window right? It's this tiny little window and yes You can see the Eiffel Tower if you twist your if you open the window and twist your head outside a little bit,

we're like on the opposite side of it. So you can see it and there is a view, but it is not exactly the view we were thinking it was going to be. It's not just right in the middle, right there in front of you. No, ma'am. You would really have to strain and stress to see the Eiffel Tower. And it was a partial view. It's a partial view and then the daytime okay I can kind of see it and at nighttime you see a little better because it's all lit up, but anyway, so instantaneously and you got to also understand is that Astrid and I are very much in love I very much want to marry this woman and I very much want to impress her on this trip to Paris

So we so instantaneously. I'm a little h hussy fussy, right? I'm smoking cigarettes, I think at the time. And I'm Oh, you went with the room then. I need a sick right now. I need a smoky, I need a smoky treat right now. So I'm instantaneously a little bit fussy. And she goes, Oh, you know, I thought it was going to be a little bit nicer. I thought, and I said, Hey, listen, don't worry, you know, how would you know? It's a picture of look nice. It was a Eiffel Tower view. How would you know? If the pictures look nice, it was an Eiffel Tower view,

how would you know? No one would know. It's okay, I'm like, we're not gonna get all fluffed about this, it's gonna be a great vacation. We're gonna take it in stride, we're just here to sleep. That's it, la la la. I'm gonna go downstairs and smoke a cigarette. And I am immediately going to talk to the manager,

is what I'm really thinking. I'm not going down to smoke a cigarette, I'm going to talk to the manager. Not to be an American brat, but to see if I can get a different room. And I'll pay for it. I don't care I'm gonna give him the Brian look which Astor calls it the Brian look right where I magically make things happen by going Could you I mean that'd be really great. Yeah, I mean I don't want to take you put you out or anything

But if you might right you get more flies with honey Yeah, if you insist on upgrading me to a suite for no money, then I insist on telling you how wonderful you are. Right? Yes. So I go down, I say, hey, listen, ma'am, that I go back to the same lady, I say, ma'am, I love your hotel. It's super great.

Those elevators, I mean, what a ride. And... What a ride. What a ride. How soft and sweet. I was really happy that we could fit four of us in that tiny little elevator. I was imagining that there'd be a little bit more room.

I was wondering if there was any way that you could find a suite for us, or a junior suite, or something along those lines. And listen, I'd really be happy to pay. I just didn't think it was going to be this small. And I also was hoping that we could get the beds together, right? That was the main thing. That was when we get the beds together. Right. That was the main thing. That was when we get the beds together. Oh, no problem, Mr. Green. Ah, take a little wee.

Ah, da, da, da, da, da. They should call us over to the manager. The manager says, oh, don't you have to have a bad time when you're here, Mr. Green? This is your first time in Paris. You got to, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, and give them the Brian look and lo and behold, we've got a club level, sweet junior, sweet.

We'd be happy to give it to you. No additional charge. That's for you, for your first time to Paris Oh, that's sweet. Okay, great So I go back upstairs do my smoky treat go back upstairs open the door and I say Astrid pack the bags Moving on up right and she goes what did you do and I got just give him the Brian look don't worry about it It's all good. It's gonna go to a little bit of a bigger room It's at least the beds together so we can you know Consummate this relationship. They insisted they insisted no extra charge, you know, she's oh my god. I'm so sorry

I'm like it's not your fault. I would you know like I'm not worried. I'm not fluffed at you I'm just the hotel is different than we thought it was gonna be let's let's get that junior suite Guy comes up takes our bags. We go up a couple floors. We're on the club level great wonderful. He opens the door Whoop We're on the club level, great, wonderful. He opens the door, whoop! Wra-wra-wra-wra-wra. Oh no! A junior suite is two of the rooms that we just left

with a door in the middle that you have to open. That's a connected room. It's a connected room. But the other connected room has one couch, additional blood stains, and a television, and a bathroom. Oh, it was the suite, because then you could lounge at the living room area. But I don't need a lounge area. I need two beds together. Oh, it was the suite, because then you could lounge. That's it, yeah. The living room area. But I don't need a lounge area.

No. I need two beds together. Exactly, at least. And I need to be with the girl that I'm here to stay with, right? That's what I would like. I don't need a room to get away from her. I need a room to be with her.

I mean, come on guys. So now I'm like, okay, all right, Brian, you really gotta calm down, right? And the view is a little bit better in the second room. A little bit better in the second room. a little bit better in the second room. So I'm like, okay, Brian. At least there's that. There's that.

So we go out, da-da-da-da-da, we go out, we leave the hotel, we come back after we have some dinner and we walk around Paris for a couple of hours and Asher has gotten some hair dye so she can color her hair. So because I guess in Switzerland where she lived, it was like it was a trip to go get the hair dye so she decided I'll buy it here and I'll do it here. So I look

good, right? And we're gonna, okay. So we go up into the hotel room, she's like I'm gonna dye my hair and I'm like great I'm gonna go down for a smokey treat and talk to the fucking manager. That's what I'm gonna do. I can't get it out of my head. No, no, you're in it. Now I'm really starting to gear up. This grinds my gears. So I go down and I say, hey, Mouffrair, I don't mean to be a bother or a pest. Mouffrair. Conciallerie. I don't mean to be a pain in your butt, but I do have to say that I wish that we had like a sweet sweet like a sweet One room, but you know, there's many

Happy things going on in the keyword bean to do you have a king-sized bed? That's what I said where I said I still have this problem. Yeah, it's all room just okay You can put me downstairs on the first floor next to the janitor's closet if we could just have a bed together and a little bit Of a view toward the Eiffel Tower. I would appreciate that and he says listen The only other thing that we have is like, you know presidential type sweets what they would call presidential type sweets And they are all taken for because the the congress in session the conference of the session whatever and I was like Many many presidents are here. Many, many presidents are here. We've got many presidents taking up

our many presidential suites. And I'm thinking to myself at this point, well, you know, okay, all right. So this is what I do. I walk away, I'm in the same lobby. There's almost no one in this lobby. There's like five or six people milling around, a couple of people behind the desk.

It's just huge lobby. And I go far enough so that they can't hear me. And I get on the phone, right? And I get on the phone with Travelocity. I call their phone. Old Travelocity. Good old Travelocity. They have a phone number and you can call it. And so I- Are they still around? What's that?

Are they still around? Oh yeah, I just booked something on Travelocity the other day. I hope I can pay for it, but I just booked something on Travelocity the other day. You don't have to pay until you check in. Great. Perfect. Great. Perfect. Can I pay after? I check out? Like a couple days after? I see the few days.

I need a couple days to pay you back. It's all good. Don't worry about it. I'm good for it. You can use this credit card number, but don't try it right now. And if they call, ask you to talk to me. Tell them that I'm not available. So I'm behind, you know, this like stanchion of couches. I'm picturing behind like a plant. It is, yeah, I'm behind some planters and some couches,

right? I'm not like hiding, hiding, but I'm far enough away so that they can't hear what I'm saying. So I get on the phone with travel velocity and I say, yeah, listen, I know this is kind of weird, but I'm in a strange country and I really don't know what I'm talking about. And so I need to find a hotel in Paris that is close to the Ark or something, you know, in this local area that we're in. I need, I need something. Yeah, because Paris is kind of situated by different neighborhoods. Yeah, by different neighborhoods. You don't want to be in the wrong one. Right. That's what I've something. Yeah, cause Paris is kind of situated by different neighborhoods. Yeah, by different neighborhoods.

You don't want to be in the wrong one. Right, that's what I've heard. It's like every place, every big city in the world, you don't want to be in the wrong neighborhood. That's true. That's just Paris, it's every city. And at the time, there was some upheaval going on. And you just like, I just wanted to be mindful

of where we were staying. I also want to be mindful that we didn't have a car and we needed to walk or be able to get to whatever it is we had planned to do. So I get on the phone with this lady. I will never forget her name. Stacy. Stacy is like, listen, I'm not a Parisian expert, right? I don't know. But my best friend just got back from Paris and she stayed there for like two weeks. She had the best time. Let me text her.

Let me talk with her. Let me text her and I'm like, holy shit, really? You're going to text this girl and ask her on my behalf. I'm giving her the Brian look hard over the phone and apparently it's making its way over there because she is like, I will text my friend and I will ask her if she knows of any place. Da, da, da, da, da, yada, yada, yada. This yada yada this back and forth back and forth amazing and so finally she says listen My friends stayed at this hotel, but she she walked to have

cocktails at this other hotel and Sounds like this one fits the bill. It's newer the rooms are bigger. They have king size. They have a courtyard You can overlook they have free breakfast They have king size, they have a courtyard you can overlook, they have free breakfast. Sounds lovely. It sounds lovely. And she's like, and it's in walking distance to the Ark. You can go to the Ark. Not at all.

Yeah, the Ark or the Champ de Lise. You're right there in the middle of it all, right? You can, and she goes, and I found it and we have it on here and I can book it right now for you, blah, blah, blah. Is it a smoking room? Is it a smoking room? That's exactly, they're all smoking rooms in here, I think. I mean, for you, blah, blah, blah. Is it a smoking room? Is it a smoking room? That's exactly, they're all smoking rooms. I think, I mean, some of them are, right?

So, but I don't wanna smoke in the room. No, I know, I'm kidding. So, Stacy books this room for me and I am so very excited that she has done this. She's booked a room from this time to this time. That's just like above and beyond service. I love hearing stories like that. It is incredible and I will always be this time to this time. That's just like above and beyond service. I love hearing stories like that. It is incredible.

And I will always be in debt to this particular person. Stacy, wherever you are at the Travelocity family, I hope you're still there. You did an amazing job. I actually wrote a letter to Travelocity about this. Oh, nice. Because I thought it was just extraordinary how she helped me out when I had no clue where I was

or what I needed to do. She found me a hotel that fit the bill in a safe neighborhood because she knew that this trip was important to me and my relationship. Cause I told her the story because that's the Brian book. You gotta get emotionally invested in what you're doing. Yeah, if you just say, I need a hotel bitch. You know, they're gonna be like, okay, Dick.

You know, here's a motel six and a, you know, quadrant seven where you're gonna get. At the airport. At the airport, right next to the runway, you son of a bitch okay so now we've got that hotel booked but we have a problem we've got an additional 10 days at the Hyatt and we're locked in we've already checked in so what is there what shall we do well I'll tell you right after this break. Oh, man.

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have a listen to our sponsors. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl. Okay, so now we've got- Where are we left off? We've got the hotel collection air booked for the rest of our trip. King size. You're double booked now. Club level. I'm double booked. I'm not going to pay $3,000 here and $4,000 there or whatever it was.

I'm like, okay, I got a problem now. I got a problem with my checkbook. I got a problem with this credit card. I don't think it's got that kind of limit on it. And so I gather myself, I go up, and I do the only thing that an honest, hardworking American would do. I lie. I say, listen, unfortunately,

I think we're going to have to go back to the United States. There's problems at home, and I don't know what to do. And I've got to travel back to the United States. There's problems at home and I don't know what to do. And I gotta travel back to the United States. I'm happy to talk to your manager and make a deal where I pay for a certain amount of nights because I know that I booked this a long time ago. And then maybe you could not charge me for every single night, right?

Is there something that can be done? We're gonna move, and I told her, but most of the truth, I said, we're gonna move to another hotel until we make a decision about whether or not we need to go back or not, just for the sake of being in more convenient area. Yeah, more comfortable. And listen, I think she already,

I think she understood, right? She understood. He just came up here. He's, you know, he wants a king size. We don't have it. What are we gonna do, right? We're pushing two small beds together. Maybe that's not his thing.

Okay. And it's not only when you push the two small beds together, it comes together as a nice, neat little king. No. It comes together as a small queen and the headboards are sideways, right? They fall off the wall It's like it's just not the most convenient thing in the world and a lot of hotels in Europe will do this They'll push them together and put a mattress top on it

But that has not happened at this hotel. So I'm like fuck me fuck me So she says she gets the manager over and they're all talking and some you know And in French in French Some language some language. Some language I don't understand in Paris. And the lady comes back, the manager comes back and she says, Mr. Green, we want you to have a good time. We hope you come back.

We know that this didn't fit your needs this time. And I hope everything's at home, back okay, back okay at home. Where are you going next? What's the next hotel? And I said, I'm gonna go to the Lake Collectionaire. And she says, it's a beautiful hotel. It's a wonderful hotel.

I know it well. And she goes, okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to charge you for any of the nights if you leave tomorrow by 10 a.m. And I was like, what? And she's like, I'm going to refund all your money. And I'm sorry, it just didn't work out this time. Maybe, you know, I think we're getting a renovation soon and hopefully you'll come back at a future trip.

And I was like, wow, okay, all right, I like the style. If you insist. Insist. Now we're talking is one o'clock in the morning now. I've been gone for a full hour. Astrid's up there dyeing her hair, texting me furiously. I'm just not responding because I'm on the phone. But yeah, are you okay?

Is everything okay? You went down for a smoke two hours ago. So I come running upstairs like a beam of sunshine. I break open the door and I go, honey, pack your bags. Tomorrow morning, 10 a.m., we're going to the late collectionaire. And she's like, what? And I'm like, babe, I don't even wanna get into the story,

but I'm telling you what, I gave him the Brian LeCarn. I worked a little magic. I worked a little magic. A little jizzy drizzle. A little jizzy drizzle, like jizzy Jeff would do. You know? Yeah. He's good at that stuff too.

So I said, hey, listen, babe, we're gonna go to another hotel. I just think it would be better for our trip. We're here for 10 days, just if we at least if we can sleep together, right? At least we can be together in the same bed without having to move the furniture. And so she says, yes, honey, okay.

She looks worried and I'm like, but what's wrong? Yeah, I thought that would be a good news. She's like, that's really good news, but there's bad news. And I was like, what's the bad news? And she's like, I thought that would be a good good news She's like that's really good news, but there's bad news and I was like what's the bad news? And she's like I dyed my hair on the white marble And it's not coming out And I was like what and she's like it's not coming out And I'm like what do you mean it's not coming out and she's like I spilled the dye and it's not coming off of the marble

It's soaked into the marble. It's not coming out. And I go in there and it looks like literally like my daughter had split her head open and poured blood all over this and it won't come out. And so now I'm freaking out cause I'm like, oh shit. Now we're getting charged for the marble. For the marble, right? Okay. For the whole renovation of the room now.

Yes. Fast forward. Now it's two or three in the morning and I have to go downstairs and I have to say, listen, I'm really sorry, but my wife was dying her hair. You've been up and down the elevator. I know I'm now a friend. I've been up and down the elevator that goes two miles per hour and we're like on the 38th floor. So I'm going to spend 30, 30 minutes getting up and down each time. And that's if you can get the elevator. So I'm like, I'm really sorry about this.

I swear to God, even though I didn't stay there and it wasn't my favorite hotel in the world, these people could not have been nicer. They were like, don't worry about it. And I'm like, it's not coming out. Do I, do you have any cleaning solution or something? I can try and get it out. They probably had some kind of special stuff.

She was like, listen, we have some kind of magic something that can get that out. Don't worry about it. There's been worse, you know, we've had all, I said, yeah, I know I see it on the floor. Didn't you see how clean our room is for her? Did you see the blood stains on the floor? We did a great job with that.

Right. It's, we covered it up with piss and vinegar. You know what I'm saying? I said, okay. All right, 10 a.m. we get out, we go to the late collection there. It's just the most amazing hotel. It's the most beautiful, shining, amazing hotel.

This is all coming back to what happened that made me uncomfortable in Paris. And I say this because I thought it was a good story to tell while I was like piggy fronting off of the story. So that night, Astrid and I decided, so we check in, we get settled, everything's great. We're on the club level. We can go to this like little club area

and it's overlooking the Parisian streets. It's just beautiful. Everything's just beautiful in this hotel. It's lovely. It's perfect. We're on the club level. We can go to this like little club area and it's overlooking the Parisian streets. It's just beautiful. Everything's just beautiful in this hotel. It's lovely. It's perfect. It's exactly what I wanted and Astrid too. And so at night we get dressed up.

We're ready to go. We're going to go hit the town. We're going to go find a place near the shop. Paddy. The lights, the city, the smell. It's a city of love. City of lights. Yes, it's amazing.

Loved Paris. So we get up, we go to take a look love. City of lights. Yes, it's amazing. Loved pairs. So we get up, we go to take a look, we ask the guy, hey, where, you know, where's this? How can we get to this nice restaurant? Yeah, take, go this way, take a left, you know, a couple of blocks down the street, you're gonna love it. Okay, so we start walking and about 50 feet past the hotel is a, one of those green crosses signifying that there's a pharmacy back there or a medical facility pharmacy. Yeah, you get pharmacy Yeah, that's in Spain, right? Le farm as they farm all see I don't know But those green signs are everywhere in Europe and they mean some kind of medical attention

Oh, okay there right or a pharmacy or whatever. It's like the universal sign for medical care there or medicine. The green cross. The green cross, the lit up green cross, right? And so we're walking and I just noticed the pharmacy. I noticed this man walking out of the farm, whatever it is, pharmacy, medical place, whatever it is. He's walking out and he's an older gentleman but he's spry, he's walking out and I just,

I'm talking to Astrid and I kind of got my eye on him because he's crossing in front of us. So, you know, you're doing that, you're judging that thing. Should I slow down? Should I speed up? Should I crash into each other? What's going on? And he walks toward the street and he walks in between two cars and as he walks in between two cars, he just goes down. Oh. He just goes down but he didn't trip. He just goes down. He just passed out. He's got a long coat on. It's a little chilly He just boom. Oh goes down hits his head and I'm like What what just happened? So I run a couple steps ahead, right?

There's also a guy standing on a wall smoking a cigarette. He also comes he doesn't speak a lick of English I don't speak a lick of French. Astrid's got some French in her vocabulary, but Astrid's kind of freaking out because of what just happened. Oh, right, it's shocking. Yeah, and so I turned the guy over, me and this other guy turned the guy over, and he is DEAD. He is dead. What? He is not breathing.

He is not okay. He, something has happened. He has had a major heart attack right there. He fell out. It was amazing how quickly this happened. He was walking perfectly normal, and then the next moment, he is not, because the guy put his hands on the guy's neck.

And then I was looking for breathing, right? None of that was happening. The guy was like, I die, whatever he's saying. And so I run into the pharmacy. Because I don't know what number to call. I'm going to see why, in France either. I don't know, it got 999-222-777. I'm not really sure.

Right? So I run. Green Cross. Okay. Let me run in there. So I run in there. There's two guys in lab coats, right? Standing around kind of doing whatever.

I don't know if it's a pharmacy or an emergency care or a doctor or whatever. And I'm like, someone passed out out there. Someone had a heart attack, you know, not going like this. And they're like, what was that? But hey, but we, but we, but we, you know? And I'm like, I'm trying to communicate. Cowardly, cowardly. Yeah, so that's what I'm doing. I'm like, come, come.

I go like this, heart attack, heart attack, man outside, you know? And they're like befuddled because they don't understand a fucking word I'm saying. And I'm like, oh shit, right? What do I do? So now I go and I open the door and I'm like, guy outside medicine needs help, right?

So finally one of them kind of caught on that like something was happening and he needed to be out there. So he runs out there and as soon as he gets down with the guy, then he is saying in French, and we know this because Astrid kind of translated it a little bit, someone call emergency services, right? We need an ambulance, I'm gonna see it, whatever it is.

Call him, call him. Well, I don't know, I don't know who to call. I'm kind of looking at, now there's a couple people around, right? I'm kind of looking around like, you call? You call? Yeah, and they're all like, what are you talking about? What do you want me to do? Can you call? Chrissy, I didn't know what to do. This poor man on the ground, I didn't know what to do. I know how to give CPR, but there's lots of people around him right now, and I don't know if CPR is the appropriate thing to do, because I can't understand what they're saying.

I don't know if he's had a heart attack, if he's having trouble breathing, if he needs CPR, does he need the paddles? I don't know, where are the paddles? Where's the AED? I have no fucking, I don't know how to call fucking emergency services. Why was everybody looking to you to do something?

Well, because I'm the big strong American. I'm the cowboy. You're the Brian Work. I'm John fucking Wayne. Yeah, I gave him the Brian look. Unfortunately, the guy's dead. What do you want me to do? I can't work that kind of magic.

I get you a free hotel room, but I can't get you back to life. I can't do that. I was so freaked out and I felt absolutely helpless. In this moment, this poor bastard fell out in front of me. Me and Astrid and another human being are the only three that witnessed what happened and I cannot communicate at all what's going on to anybody. And including, I don't even know how to call for help.

I was lucky to get those two guys and lab coats out the door because they were literally confused at what I was saying They were like what is he talking like they literally had their hands up in the air. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about Yeah, this is a terrifying experience and this adrenaline is just And the whole thing yeah, you cannot even imagine how Hi, I was but not in a good way. Because in America, or in an English-speaking country, or in Spain, where I could speak some Spanish or understand Spanish, I would have at least been able to help take action. But in this case, I was paralyzed by the fact that I was in a strange land with strangers,

and we didn't understand each other. Yeah, and you didn't know how to call for help. So I bring this back to Sean's, oh Sean is his name. I bring this back to Sean's music. I mean, Sean's kidnapping story. How terrifying, I was a guy who witnessed something happening trying to help someone where there was no violence, no threat of violence, nothing like that was going on.

Right? I only for a brief moment that I think maybe this guy has gotten shot and we did not hear it and something like that, but it quickly became apparent that there was no blood coming out of anywhere except for his head where he hit his head. And that was not a gunshot, right? I knew that immediately.

I can't even imagine what it would be like to have some strangers screaming and yelling at you and you could pretty much infer that what they wanted to do was not nice and You have no there's no one to call. There's no help. There's you don't even understand the language Terrifying absolutely terrifying. So that's this has been a nice episode There's no comedy to this. I'm just sharing. I watched this guy. Maybe you listeners can share your terrifying story.

Yeah, I mean, if you have a story or two, we'd love to hear it. Oh yeah, that's a good content idea. Tell me your most terrifying story when you felt helpless internationally, right? You were traveling internationally, something happened, and you had no idea what to do

because it wasn't your home turf. You didn't understand. You don't have to be from the United States of America to tell me the story either. You can be from another country in the United States of America and just being terrified of that. We have some listeners over in Great Britain. We have a lot of listeners in a lot of places.

Yeah, like in your family. Great Britain, Canada, yeah, India, because we had VEER on and we picked up quite a few Indian listeners actually. Welcome. What's that? Welcome. Welcome to you. Hello. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Who was that? That was the alien

like language girl too, wasn't it? Was she saying welcome? Yeah, that was a girl who said welcome like 30 times in the first minute and a half of her video. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Anyway, Chrissy, it was like a, it was a really kind of weird moment. You know. The ambulance came.

Okay. And they took him away very quickly. And I can only assume. And you and Astrid skipped on down the street towards your restaurant reservation. We had a lovely dinner. Actually, I think we missed the reservation. And so we ended up going to like somewhere on the Champalise. Like some That like some patio on the shamp and having a way overpriced meal. It wasn't all that great, but but yeah Yeah, and then that was all you could talk about

It was I tried to keep it low-key because it's not into that kind of stuff like I think that really freaks her out Yeah, so I tried not to like harp on it But I'll tell you what I wasn't very hungry because I had a ton of adrenaline just coursing through me. I just, that was, that made me. I love the cafe. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you have any marmalade? Marmalade, that's good for adrenaline, right? Oh yeah. Okay, all right. Milk. That's right. I'll take one of those eclairs though. I'd eat those anytime. No croissant. Oh, croissant. Milk. That's right. I'll take one of those eclairs though. I need those anytime.

A croissant. Oh, croissant. Croissant. A croissant with Nutella. That's what you want. A croissant with Nutella. Or a, what do they call those? The pancakes?

Oh yeah, crepe. Crepe, a crepe with Nutella. Pancakes, a crepe with Nutella. That is the jam. Crepe, Nutella, strawberries. I've with Nutella. That is the jam. Grape, Nutella, strawberries. I've got to go. It's on my list to go. You've got to go to Paris.

But then every time I think about going to Europe, I just went back to Italy. Italy's beautiful. No doubt about it. But Paris is a. I'm thinking about going to Norway. I'll tell you more about that later. OK.

Well, then. You and Gizzy Jeff? Yeah. Bringing your naked side so attraction over to Norway? Exactly. Bringing your naked to your naked side. So attraction over to Norway. Exactly. I think it's just like readily accepted that people are going to be naked in Norway. Yeah.

This is like a naked plunging and diving and stuff like that. That's what we're planning on. All right. Listen, tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go. You find out more information about Chris, he and I, all the show notes, all the audio, all the video right there, one location. You can also get your free piggy fronting sticker. Hit the contact us button.

I have seen it and you're gonna love it. You're gonna love it. The free piggy fronting sticker at the contact us button. Give us your physical address. 626, ask TCB the number three. That's one. 626, ask TCB and the number three. Text us. Comments, questions, content content ideas, ask Brian's mom, ask for our advice, leave us a voicemail if you're anything that brave, anything just whatever you want to communicate with us. Add the commercial break on Instagram, tcbpodcast on tiktok and youtube.com slash the commercial break. Thanks, Dr. Phil. No problem, Brian. This is going to be a changing day in your life. All right, Chrissy, I think that's all I can

do for right now. I think so. But I'll tellissy, I think that's all I can do for right now. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Listen to us on Odyssey.

Until next time, we always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. You You like restaurants?