The Commercial Break - Go To Your Crate, Wife

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

Bark! Bark! Bark! Is that your wife calling you? Bryan & Krissy find a woman who acts like a dog, but they wonder if they've been hoodwinked... 21 EPMs! A man caused unnecessary suffering to a seagull This man is a menace! Have you ever been caught masturbating? Bryan spills the tea… “Long Shower Bryan” Sex Ed at Catholic school was, unsurprisingly, terrible Bryan found a woman who acts like a dog She’s dealing with some harsh judgment... She ain't hurting anyone! She begs for food at the table, goes to the dog park, and barks! She even digs holes in the yard Is this because she doesn’t like making decisions? This woman is a much better dog than Blue “I hate this couple as much as I hate the Trumps” No surprise, the internet is being mean to her Have we been hoodwinked? LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi guys, my dad bought a really big grill Go over there Just to eat the insolent little Bucket grill On this episode of the commercial break You guys could take it inside the house maybe for a while outside I want to have a non-puppie conversation every once in a blue moon. Yeah, I was gonna be great Or eat a sandwich with the other person at the table. Yeah, I'd like to have a non-puppy conversation every once in a blue moon. Yeah, I was gonna be great. Or eat a sandwich with the other person at the table.

Yeah, I'd like to have you at the table. Could you get up off the floor? Thanks very much. I don't want to throw my scraps of food to my wife. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Ah, yeah, cat and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and beautiful co-host. Chris, enjoy. Hold like best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Chris and I, for months, have been telling you all, you gotta get your 21 ejaculations per month in the door. You gotta get get it under in the wire, guys. That 30 day period. You can't do 21 in 45 days. You got to do 21 in 30 days. Yes. Or it reduces the effectiveness of what I don't know. Science of it.

Hashtag prostate health. Hashtag prostate health, guys. You got to keep that prostate as small and tight as possible. Let's remember that. Do your kegels. Get 21 ejaculations in per month. And then you reduce your chances of prostate cancer.

Not only have we gone so far as to make a sticker about it, but I firmly believe in the program. And while it may be inconvenient for the rest of my family, that I spend a little extra time in the shower, it's what they don't realize is that all I'm doing is securing my future as their father and their husband. Exactly, it's all for the children. I don't want you to secure the future. Ha ha ha.

Feel free to leave anytime, Brian. Ha ha ha. And my wife may have a different opinion about this, but I want to make sure I'm around for those kids, Chrissy. So when my Instagram is filled with bikini-clad babes, it's not because I want to look at bikini-clad babes. I am not that kind of guy. What I need to do is stimulate myself

in many different directions. Visually. Yes. Now, the question about where the pro-Mata Zoa goes after you get done is a whole different answer. It's a whole different problem. Most guys I would imagine are throwing it into a tissue or a towel or down the sink or in the drain, we don't need to get into all the specifics

even though I just did. What I would discourage people from doing is using this as an opportunity to get rid of your Prometezoa on or around animals. That's all I gotta say. Jesus, yes. Is that not? Let me, Breaking news.

Oh my God. Only Brian finds it. You could imagine what my search history looks like. I'm waiting for the FBI to come into door. Man captured injured Seagull in alleyway and then pleasureed himself on top of it. What? A man has admitted causing unnecessary to a seagull after he captured it

and pleasureed himself while watching porn on his phone. David Lee, let me show you David Lee's picture. Doesn't that look like the kind of guy who has probably masturbated on a pigeon or two? A man has admitted causing unnecessary suffering to a seagull after he captured it and pleasureed himself while watching porn on his phone. David Lee carried out the Bullwildering Act

in an alleyway in Sunderland, those fucking people from Sunderland, what's up with you guys? In the alleyway, too. In what was described is one of the most unusual cases we've ever seen. The 40 year old of rocker avenue, they point out where he lives for master.

He's just trying to get his 21-EVM's in. Played a guilty to carrying out a sexual act involving a herring goal. Funny, what does that have to do with the actual? This is the craziest story I've heard. Is this a law? Like, they make it sound like this is what he's been actually charged with. A sexual act involving a herring goal. Very good, David.

Very good. Nicely done. Uh, it is classified as an, oh, it is classified as an offense under the animal welfare act of 2006. It should be an offense. Well, let me point out that if this is a law that's on the books, it's because there was a problem with this at one point. And someone said, we need to make this illegal. People cannot just go whacking off on top of seagulls all the time.

We've got a big issue here in Sunderland. Isn't Sunderland were those sexy seagulls? Isn't Sunderland where the boy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh, no, I don't think so. Okay, all right, good. Describing the video evidence scene in court, the video evidence around 1 a.m. The defendant was chasing a seagull down the road. A second piece of footage sees the defendant chasing the same bird down a different road. In the third piece of footage, the defendant has a different bird in his hand. It is now a smaller bird. You can see the defendant with the bird in his arms. And he goes to a short space down the road It is clear from the CCTV footage that defendant is

Master baiting the defendant places the bird close to his groin and in between his legs and goes back to his phone to continue there I'm gonna hear anymore. This is all about man. David bro listen God damn. I hope he doesn't have the commercial break somewhere on his phone, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I blame these fuckers They told me to get my 21 EPMs per month. This is a horrifying story And I know I'm laughing because the visual feels funny to me So incredible, but you don't go whacking off on top of any animal Let's not whack off on any animal,

any unsuspecting human beings either. Exactly. Let's keep our 21 EPMs to ourselves. Share yourself. Listen. And your partner. Yeah. Yeah, and your partner, if you want to get it in

with your partner, cool. Let's keep, I'm going to put this on the treaty. Let's keep masturbating a thing that we feel guilty about so we do it in private and quietly and we sneak around. Let's do that. Let's keep masturbating under the covers. Because clearly, we cannot be trusted to be out in public whacking off at any given time.

If we're chasing three different birds to get the one that you like, three different birds birds Chrissy. I mean, I don't even know how you let this man back into society after this. Well, I mean, he had a moment of weakness. He had a moment of weakness and he whacked off on top of a bird. I don't know. Amongst us hasn't found a fine feathered friend.

Oh, no. who amongst us hasn't found a fine feathered friend next to him and notice information at any point no you didn't say sitting next to you i don't want to sit next to me either but he should be somewhere let's point out that they did put his full address home confine they did put his full address in the articles that the guy is the guy is most certainly going to be shunned i had no i have a feeling he doesn't care. I mean, if he's actually out there chasing sequels in an alleyway and masturbating in full view of things that I don't think he cares.

Gives a whole new definition to the word Big Bird, that's for sure. Let me ask you a question. It's like piggyback and piggy-fronting office. Have you ever been caught in the act of masturbating? No, not caught. No. I mean, like someone popped in and you were like,

oh, sorry. I think so. You haven't ever had that experience? I've had that experience multiple times. And I'm telling you right now, it's rather uncomfortable. I'm sure. Yeah, there's no other way to explain it. I mean, if you get caught caught with your pants down

literally, there's only one thing to say. And that is, I was washing my dick. I was checking it. Check it out. I got to get it fully erect so I can get all the shaft. I got to clean all the shaft. You know what I'm saying? My, my beautiful, lovely, wonderful son is now finding out about the world of penises, right? Oh yeah. So the other day, he was like, daddy, does your penis get big? And I was like, what? And he's like, does your penis get big?

And I was like, you mean hard? And he's like, yeah, hard. And I'm like, yeah, not so much anymore, but back when I was a kid. Back when I was a youngster running around town. I couldn't help myself. That's the way it was. When you get caught masturbating,

they're the best policy is honesty at that point. So then the person who caught you can leave and you can finish the job. You know what I'm saying? Like if you're the middle of it, I'm sure anyways, and should just shut the door again. Shut back the door. Yeah, not your mom or your brothers, or your brother. Oh my God. Oh my God.

They hated me when I was a teenager. I'm about to tell some really, I'm about to spill the tea here. When I was a teenager, I got this name, Long Shower Brian, because I would always take these long showers, so long in fact that my dad had to start putting a timer on the shower. That's a headboard who did talk about that. Because you know, we had a whatever, 15 fucking people living in our house, however any children my dad had,

15 fucking people living in our house and we had the world's smallest water heater, right? So you would take a good seven minute shower and the cold water would already be there. Now you try and do that times four plus my dad in the morning. So five of us needing to take a shower. And I was always the last one to take a shower because everyone knew I was gonna take the longest and I was gonna use all the hot water. So sometimes I would go in there and I just start that shower to cover up the noise

of masturbation and it would go on. I would be in there for 20, 30 minutes. 20, 30 minutes. Let's go, you gotta go to school. I would be in there for 20 30 minutes 20 30 minutes Let's call you gotta go to school now the farth rub one out dad I'm cleaning my penis And on a number of occasions, you know, you got it first thing you do is you lock the doors Yeah, that is step one, but my little brother

He figured out how to open the door with the credit card. You know what I'm saying? You slip in that card and you go pop, you just pop those little stupid ass locks. That little box that mean nothing. Oh yeah. And so he thought it was a great deal of fun. That anytime the shower was taking a little extra long, he would run up and he'd pop the door and then he'd just kick it open. And the bathroom was in the middle of the hallway.

So anybody, I'd be like, God damn it. Cleaning my penis. Oh, I bet he thought it was hilarious. Oh, he thought it was funny. My dad not so much, but he thought it was funny. It's embarrassing. There's no two ways around it. I mean, you know, it's embarrassing, especially when you're that age and you're trying

to explore and you go to Catholic school where they tell you every five minutes it's bad to look at your penis. And if you touch it, it's going to set on fire. And you know, only do it in a bud. Oh my God, the crazy things I would teach you as in that Catholic school, they would like get sex education. That this guy who taught a sex education was not even a real teacher. He was like some parent that they brought in.

It was supposed to be taught by the coach, right? Right. And the coach conveniently decided that he didn't want to teach sex education. So one of the parents stepped in, I'll never forget his name, Mr. Padilla, Mr. Padilla stepped in and he was like a big jovial Indian guy, right? And he was fun and he was funny. But the way that he twisted himself up in a knot to avoid saying anything that might be against

the Catholic religion, it was just, it was like a art, it was like a dance that he was doing and he was doing it so artfully until he came to the part about masturbation. It was in the book, but he wouldn't talk about it. He would, so, you know, and of course, no one had any questions. No one would raise their hand and ask any questions.

That's too embarrassing. So Mr. Padilla, I remember on the days when he was supposed to be talking about masturbation, it was in the book, self pleasure and masturbation. I think it was more clinical than that. I was actually thinking it was just said masturbation, right? And he would just be like, like awful that there's a shame around him.

Such shame. No. He wouldn't even, he's saying, you know, he talked about self-pleasuring and self-love, but he said the word as if his tongue had needle sticking through it. When he was saying it, he would just be like, drum roll, and then he would move on. So warm.

So warm. So you felt always so guilty about this. And I remember one time I went to confession. And confession to me was a lot of fun because even though I knew the priest knew who I was, probably by my voice, you know, you were behind this curtain. And as I got into my teenage years, I understood what a holy crock of shit this was.

And so I told him one time, I said, I did some cussing and I lied to my mom about taking the cookies and then, I've been masturbating. And he gave me the most heavy sentence, which is, do the rosary. He gave me the most heavy sentence was reserved for my mass masturbatory

Items that is so terrible. That's what's up. Oh my god. It's crazy. It's crazy People in their sexuality. I did not go to a Catholic Catholic school Thank God and my mom was very open talking about sex with all three of us girls And so there was never any kind of shame around it around sexuality and and... So your mom told you, she was like, girls, you got to... Well, I mean, it's... Make friends with your vagina. Yes, get to know yourself. Oh, she say that stuff?

Yeah, take a mirror, look at it, get familiar, figure out, it feels good. Yeah, that was the opposite of my experience. My mom and dad, when my brother and I were like 10 years old, I will never forget the most uncomfortable sex conversation. I mean, they were all probably uncomfortable the first one for almost everybody, right? That's a difficult conversation for a parent to have. And to have it at 10 years old, then,

now I'm gonna have to have it when the kids are like four. I mean, you know. You already have it, it was a bit serious. I know. But my parents literally brought out this clinical book and it was like the art of set the joy of sex the science of sex or when not the joy of sex That's a tantra book, but the no joy in sex around here My dad threw down a copy of Debbie does Dallas. It's just figured out You're the one with the penis

You're the one with the penis. But I just remember they had this book and it was also clinical. These are boobs, these are vagina, this is a penis. But they never talked about masturbation. They never even brought it up as a subject, as a topic of conversation, ever in my growing up. So we had to figure this all out on our own. As I'm sure a lot of people do, I don't think most people do. They're figuring it out on their own,

but it just depends on how shameful you feel doing. Well, when you're just beating into your head, you know, sex in general, just shameful, it's reserved for marriage. I never bought into that shit. I think part of the reason why I started to disagree with the Catholic church was there stands on premarital sex.

I thought to myself by the age of 14, I was like, I am so ready to have sex. I am so ready to do this. And it was 1,000% against everything that we had been taught. And so I had to find pigeons to have sex with. You had to. I had to do this. So now this guy, this his perspective,

maybe takes another turn in my head. It's making all the sense in the world the figure up in a house like mine I can understand why his wacky picadilla's come from He's probably a kid chasing pigeons around the beach with a boner and like well this feels good Are you into it? Because I'm into it Cause I'm into it. Book, book, book, book. Oh.

Oh. Speaking of animals, do you remember months ago we covered a lady who acted like a cat 24 hours a day and she had just moved in with this older gentleman. Yeah. Do you remember this? Yeah. I cause, it's not even, I don't even think it can be called the cause play because she's not dressing up in a costume all the time

But she's acting like a cat all the time. She's living as a cat. Yes Kind of that wasn't she doing an interview though She was doing an interview though. What do you mean doing it? Well, she was like because it was you know They were interviewing the two of them Yes, they were interviewing the two of them But she said the 24 hours a day. Yeah, she was like a cat. Yeah Yeah, she could break character. Most of the time she was meowing and eating her breakfast on the table on the table. It was like a little milk.

It was a highly disturbing video, but hey, whatever you're into. It's the guy that seemed into it. Well, the guy seemed into the 20-year-old girl who was beautiful, who happened to be walking around and cat long Jaree all day long And he was like 48 or something like that. He was much older than she was. I have found a Brother to that sister And I mean the and I mean the content not the actual human being what I found was a woman Who loves to pretend she's a dog and the boyfriend who loves her for it. G-Z-B

Hey you, guess you. I hate to interrupt all the fun, but I just want to remind you that T-C-B podcast.com is where you find all the audio and the video plus you can contact us to get your free 21EPM sticker. Just go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, tell us you want to stick or drop us your address and off we go. Plus you can write to us at 855-TCB-8383, that's 1-855-TCB-8383 for all of our international listeners, we'll pick up the toll, go ahead

and text us. If you have comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, we're taking them all at 855-T-C-B-8383. If you want to view the commercial break in a whole new light, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break to see the fully edited episodes. You'll love it, or your money back, I promise. While you're at it, hit us up on Instagram at the Commercial Break and TCB Live on TikTok. So let's take a minute to hear from our sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break.

TCB You want to check this out? I think we should. Without further ado, I was trolling on the internet. As you do. As I do do, do. As I do do. As you do do. And I found the dog version of the cat lady that we reviewed.

Here we go. Let's say it was a dog lady. Here we go. This is Lorenzo. He thought I'd love with Jenna. I think my favorite thing about Jenna is her ability just to embrace who she is as a puppy. Is right. He loved the best thing that he loves about her is her ability to embrace herself as a puppy. That's what he loves. Well, listen, everyone's into something. At least he's not even the pigeon-fucking.

Yes. We love. Well listen, everyone's into something. At least he's not even a pigeon-fucking. Yes. Puppy plays an extremely important in my relationship. That's where a lot of my love languages lie. Despite living a puppy dream, this canine couple have had to deal with some harsh judgement. I definitely.

Every time I go outside to take a poo my neighbors say get off the lawn Pick up after you don't pick up after your girlfriend The worst part about having a dog for a partner is you got to bring shit bags everywhere you go You get a lot of hate this This person is just absolutely mental, like out of their mind. Which you can't see is that on, and you can go to youtube.com slash the commercial break, which you can't see is on the bottom.

They are showing comments that I assume are coming from social media. And one of them said, this should be illegal. You should be ashamed of yourself. I totally disagree with that. We'd like to have fun with this. But who the hell are you?

Who the hell is she harming? Honestly, at the end of the day who is she bother she's an adult woman yeah and if she's not shitting on your long as long as he picks up it after her i'm cool with it exactly when we're in public it can be a little bit embarrassing at times oh my god they are going to the dog park she just walked in on all fours through the chain link gate to the dog park. Oh, Chrissy, I think my tolerance for this might stop at the bedroom door. Do you know what I'm saying?

I agree. Like, if you want to pretend you're a puppy, so we can do a doggy style and truly be in doggy style, I get that 10 for understood. I don't mind. I don't mind being on all fours or someone else being on all fours. But going to the dog park in the middle of the day is worse to me than chasing a pigeon down the road at three in the morning. Just say it. I met Jenna at a photo shoot last year. We sort of clicked almost right away on set. After they met, there was one thing that Jenna had to make sure Lorenzo was on board with. We met at a photo shoot for Puppet Chow. She's a dog girl.

I was the stylist and she was the dog, the actual dog. She was a dog. I was the stylist and she was the dog. The actual dog. She was a stunt doggy. Stunt doggy dog. Ha ha ha. I started first pretending that I was a puppy when I was really, really little. I would ask my mom to play with the dogs with me. So I would just be one of the dogs.

And my, I hope my daughter doesn't end up being stitched when she grows up. You know what I'm saying? Parents always asked when I was going to grow out of it, but I never did. Jenna lives a puppy lifestyle and had to make sure Lorenzo would be the right owner for all her puppy needs.

She's at the kitchen counter while he's eating a sandwich. And she's begging for food. She's begging for food. Yeah, please. I already like this dog better than I like blue. By the way, she just said that. She's much quieter. It seems much more well-behaved.

I told him about this. He'd shy away and all. He just was like okay cool like So what do I need to do? Okay, cool we still have sex All right, yeah, moving yeah bring all your doggy stuff and move in yeah Big all your doggy stuff and move it cool. You want to go to pet smart and then get fucked? Yeah, all right sweet Go bro, she's got a service dog. Don't touch. Yeah. Of course, you don't want

strange men petting her belly. So, Puffy play really was something that I've learned a lot of from Jenna. Some of her needs and feelings are very similar, having a puppy, which I've never personally have had, but it's something that I feel that I personally love and bracing. The dog you never had. Yeah, the dog. Parents never let me have a puppy. So I got a girlfriend. That's perfect.

Who is a puppy? It all worked out. It's serendipitous. You know what I'm saying? He is a, he's a better man than I. I again, think I could take it inside the house maybe for a while. Outside.

I'd wanna have a non puppy conversation everyone's in a blue moon. Yeah. Or he'd a sandwich with the other person at the table. Yeah, I'd like to have you at the table. Could you get up off the floor? Thanks very much. I don't want to throw my scraps of food to my wife

in order to keep her alive and healthy. If you take her to the vet, what it goes on there? It's so strange. But again, let me reiterate, who fucking cares? God bless you. I think I'd be a little bit jarring to see this out in public. Yeah. Yeah, like-

Especially as I never have. No, you've never seen a human being acting like a dog out in public at the dog park? Yeah. I think I'd have to protect my dog from that situation and be like, close your eyes, we're leaving. This is Asunae. Puppet play is an extremely important in my relationship. That's where a lot of like my my love languages, why?

I it's very important to get a lot of praise, a lot of, you know, good job. You're doing great, you know, good girls. I was holding it together until she just... I know. ...painted in bark. My kids do this. My children do this. And they don't do it for more than a minute. And then they're like, ah, it's my knees.

Not a lot of work. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I got to speak English now. Oh man, wow. I wonder if she does this 20, she can't do this. She can't do this for hours a day. Like you have to go to the bathroom and get dressed and take a shower and stuff, right?

Yes. Just checking, I'm asking you. I'm asking you, like you know. No, well she looks too beautiful to. Oh, she's a beautiful woman. Not, so not shower she looks too beautiful to oh she's a beautiful Not so not shower or change clothes. No, she's a beautiful woman. I'm a little confused by the Chanel wallpaper They have going you notice that yeah, what is up with that? I don't know they can't give Victorian picture over there Yeah, and then I noticed they had like a like someone put graffiti on their on their wall probably

Yep, probably put graffiti on their wall. Probably. Yep. That's what it's about. That's a rabid dog. Well, it's hard to find a place that accepts pets. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha When you say I have a dog it takes out half the places you really want. I like about being a dog is the bond between like that one special person like your owner and yeah like the day-to-day like mannerisms of a dog that they have you know I like to be very careful. She's digging a hole in the yard. Hey, baby of trills. And fucking neighbors out there digging in the yard again. Tell that guy to keep his dog on a leash.

God damn it. She got great tits though, doesn't she? Yeah. She's digging a hole in the yard. She's digging a hole in the yard, yeah. Oh man. I like not having a choice because it makes life so much easier. Wait, you like being a dog so you don't have to make decisions?

There would be a therapist out there that specializes in dogs. I've had a dog therapist for blue. I didn't do any good. Not a fucking bit of good. Except I'm sure that I got a really nice vacation that month. The amount of money that we paid him, a dog therapist. What a ridiculous notion. I heard he was good.

I heard he was wonders on other dogs. This is probably where I feel the safest at home. It has an actual crate. She does, with the dog bed and look little toys. Now, okay, now there are some things about this that I think could be a benefit. Like, you know, sometimes you just get upset with your partner and you don't want them sleeping in the same bed with you.

I just say go to your box. Go to your box. Go to your crate. I'm always the guy on the hut. Go to your hut. I call it the box. And when you say do you want to go in the box to blue, it shuts her up for exactly three seconds before she realizes that if you put me in the box, I will then bark more and you will be more upset. So we both know Brian, you're not going to do that. So we both know Brian, you're not going to do that. So for a second, you had me.

But then I realize as your shitty dog, just how much control I have over you, even though I only speak one language and one word of that language. I know that with that one word, I can control the entire household. So you want to say it again? You want to make more empty promises, more empty threats? Like my then, it's like my... I know that I can retire too and know that I'm safe and, you know, knowing can get me. The first time I saw the cage, I was... I was super turned on.

I thought, can I get my penis in there and fuck you in the cage? Because let's be honest, we haven't had many conversations, you just keep barking at me, but I like having sex with you. I think this is easy for both of them. He makes all the decisions. She acts like a dog.

Yeah. And it just feels like for both of them. He makes all the decisions. She acts like a dog. Yeah. Yeah. And she just feels like a relationship of convenience. I was sort of shot and it was a lot bigger than I thought. But once it was set up and I saw it. You expected her to stay in a smaller crate? You wanted her in something uncomfortable? It's a lot bigger than I thought.

Who has a picture in their head of the dog crate for people that act like dogs? Who's running around going? That's bigger than I thought a dog crate for people who act like dogs would be. They don't sell those at Pets Park. I guess it'll fit in this corner. Yeah, it's right. You might have put you in the guest room. It's going to take up a lot of space. That's right. You might have put you in the guest room. It's going to take up a lot of space. It's how happy she was and comfortable. She really looks getting happy and I think it makes a great addition to the room. You think it makes a good addition to the room. She makes a great addition to the room.

Well, how kind of you. Having their puppy love on social media has led to people questioning their roles in their relationship. Is some of the most negative comments? It's probably just people saying that I'm crazy. This person is just absolutely mental, like, out of their mind. I hate this couple as much as I hate to trumps. Why is politics ruined everything.

Now we can't have fun with the girl who has a dog because of the Trump's. Okay, Trump's. I'm sorry for your parents. This should be considered illegal. I'm bleaching out my eyes. Are you okay? Are you okay?

This ain't right. Yeah, what the fuck? Well, listen, I don't think she's crazy. She seems like she's got her facilities together. It seems like there may be some kind of past trauma involved where she doesn't feel safe, and that's why she needs to be in the box. Yeah, I would say that there's something has triggered this.

I'd like to be a dog thing, you know, and that's for her and her therapist to work out. From a fetish standpoint, I don't think there's any problem with this. Again, I think it's the outside in the world that now I don't have a problem with you Like it's not for me to judge whether or not you want to walk around on all fours. That's cool But I can see how it would be problematic

For them to be outside and her on a leash like yeah, okay, is he hurting her is she insane? What kind of dog is that? insane. What kind of dog is that? Cause I like one. Yeah. What kind of dog out cute? That's a what kind of dog's that? Special breed. That's a special breed. It's a cross breed of a Bucks and Blonde. That's what we call Bucks and Blonde. So like, you know, are you being held against your will? It's he forcing you to do this, like blink twice if you're okay. I know myself that I'm not hurting anybody. I'm, you know, and I think disturbs me the most about this,

with these pictures, they're showing pictures of her out in public, and it's a staged photograph obviously. And he's holding the choker chain. And every picture, she is right next to his dick with her head. That's what's most disturbing about this to me is that it seems highly sexualized, like hypersexualized.

Oh definitely. And are they at times where she's barefoot? That's not happening. I would never do that. You wouldn't catch me. That's Bobby Booty's all right. That's right. Don't you have like,

get you go to the costume store and get like some Paw Patrol, extra Paw Patrol shoes? Well, I, I'm just kind of living my life out on the internet and with that comes a lot of judgment. I try to comfort her and let her know that there may be a life on the internet.

Yeah, nothing like living life on the internet or a podcast We know we get it. It's the same shit. Everyone's got their own opinions and they're all Opinions are like assholes. Everyone's got them and they all stink. I'm just letting you know I don't take anything too seriously not the good stuff and not the bad stuff. You got to really kind of block block that I got a cock block that out, but I will say this I got a cock block that out, but I will say this. Is this, I think they're showing a picture of them out with their friends at the river? At the beach?

Yeah, the river. They can shoot in the hooch, something like that. And she's down on it. She's down on all fours right next to his dick. Yep, yep. And the order of people that, oh, hold on one second. They're wearing masks. This is obviously during the on one second. They're wearing masks. This is obviously during the time of COVID.

They're wearing masks and the mask says, I eat ass. What? That's what it says. I eat ass. Isn't that what it says? I think it does say that. It says ass.

Oh. It says ass. Yeah, what's that? Hahaha. Their masks both say I eat ask. They have pulled one big scam on the producers of this reality show. If this reality show even cared to check into it,

I think this is a joke. Yeah. It feels a certain negative way about you, but you still have me that do care about you and love what you do it. We're gonna go to the park and I'm thinking we'll get some usual shots of you walking on a leash, take some videos, some photos, but what if we throw a Frisbee and you catch it?

In my mouth. What if you, what if I throw a Frisbee directly at your face and you catch it? Don't worry, well I've got really good dental insurance. I don't want you to worry about losing any teeth. Throwing a Frisbee in your ketchup with your mouth. Are you crazy? Have you ever been hit in the face by a frisbee? That's what it does hurt.

Yeah, they're doing this for Patreon. Yeah. In your mouth, right? I think we've been hoodwinked by these people. I don't think this really happens off camera. Right, and if you catch it in your mouth, you know what you get right. Do I get a treat?

Yes, I get a treat. Yes, I get a treat. Yes, only you get. You get my dick. You get these nuts and dad mouths. What do you think, girl? Get on all four, oh, you're already on all fours. All right, come. You ready to go?

Yes. All right. Ready? Yes. All right. Sit. Sit. Now, in the back, on their Chanel wallpaper, there is graffiti. And that graffiti says nerdball TV. We must follow up on nerdball TV. Nerdball, let me write it in the notebook.

Yes, I'm about to uncover the scam that is, nerd ball. There's dog play here. Yes, nerd ball TV. Really? The party's ready. Let's go. Let's go. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUT that are coming up to the car and sniffing our ass like this is crazy this is crazy

That's right all No, no, that dog a dog get there at the dog park and the dog ran up to go give her a kiss on the mouth and she did it He ran off He's like crazy bitch Oh my god. Wow. Hey, check out this bitch. I'm sorry. I put on the wrong voice. Forget it.

Dog's hair is obviously one of my favorite things. When we're in public, I can see how it can be a little bit embarrassing at times. There's weirder things out there. Like a girl pretending to be a dog isn't really the weirdest thing. I think- Uh, hold on one second. This is a weirdest thing. But- It does ring pretty highly up there.

When you're taking your girlfriend to the dog park, as a dog. On a leash. On a leash. I'm going to ball in a frisbee. Yeah, taking pictures for your Patreon or whatever you're doing. And God bless you. If you're- honestly, I bet there's like- the dog park as a dog. On a leash. On a leash. I'm going to ball in a frisbee. Yeah, taking pictures for your Patreon or whatever you're doing. And God bless you.

You're honestly, I bet there's like, I bet you make a good living. Probably. We are doing this wrong, Chrissy. I think, well, I was gonna say you, but it's probably me that should act like a dog, the entire show. And then we'll get people to pay us

because they're dog fetishers. I'll get on top of the table. I'll be on all fours. You can take me out on a walk. We'll put it on video. What do you think? There's too much work. Yeah, too much work. We've made 7,000 hours of this fucking show. It's too much work to take me out on a walk. I feel disappointed. You don't support me the way I need to be supported. You don't care. Just for a lot of people, it's new to see it in the way that she does it.

I don't find it weird. I would say Laurence is the best owner that I could ever ask for. She cares for me. I feel like the luckier's puffed up the shelter. I want to be the... I'm definitely very sexual about this whole thing. Yeah, well it's definitely a fan-shaking her ass.

Yeah. Yeah, she's a bucsum blonde shaking her ass all over the place. How can you not get turned on by? Honestly, I'm turned on by it and I'm not into dog play. But all of a sudden I'm finding myself into dog play. Puppy play. Puppy play. Puppy play. Now with real puppies, but you know, beautiful blonde puppies.

Next time we get a dog and ask it tries to convince me to get a yorky, I'm gonna go, I want a blonde puppy. But long hair, big boobs and a nice ass. That's what I want. Someone they can wipe a nice ass. That's what I want. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Wow, well there you go, there you have it. You have a whole new addition to our spring of animal related sexual activities. God. I thought about the other day.

We've talked about ghost fucking, dragon fucking, dolphin fucking, now pigeon fucking, dog fucking. I mean, we have run the gamut. We are, we're covering basis cover. Mythological and otherwise, we've got it. And that's right, that's on that one time he did the mythological porn. I did.

I found a website where people write mythological porn. It's, there's no pictures. It's just all writing. And we read a couple of them out loud. It was so disturbing that we have not gone back to that well. When someone was talking about, you know, the dragon raping them, I was like, oh, I don't know.

Someone actually wrote me about that episode and said that it was a trigger for them because the dragon was in the fantasy that this girl had written, that she was having non-consensual sex with the dragon. The dragon was non-consensually. So I'll never forget that on my first, like the first email I ever really took seriously was a young lady

that wrote me in and said that was triggering. I didn't expect the non-consensual part of that. And I just wanted to let you know that you may want to put a warning on that particular episode. That's right. So we're not going to go there anymore. No more non-consensual drag and sex episodes. Yeah, it's all gonna be consensual from now on. When someone's having a mythological, you know, with dream, that's right.

We're gonna make sure it's all consensual. Hey Chrissy Ots, excuse me, I gotta go outside and find a red rob and I can Wack off to Hey blue I'm seeing you in a whole new light sunshine But I'm thinking about keeping you around for extra couple of days I'm gonna get with Astrid and see if we can get this done. Oh, yeah, get with Astrid on this A thrupple where one of them is a dog

Yeah, Astrid on this one. A thrupple where one of them is a dog. Yeah, Astrid would, I'm excited to see what Astrid said. Astrid's gonna love it. She loves my wise ideas. Hey, babe, I wanna bring another thing into the bedroom, but not a woman, a dog woman. Yeah. Fubby play, yeah.

Not a thing. It's beautiful blonde. Yeah, it's not a threat to you. She's not a dog. It's a dog, I just have sex with her. Probably threaten my dog. Yeah, it's not a threat to you Dog I just have sex with it. Yeah, don't be threatened by a dog. We're just bringing another dog into the bedroom We already have blue why not this woman Tcvpodcast.com that's where you go find out more information about Chrissy and I you can listen to all the audio You can watch all the video or you could get your 21 EPM sticker like we've been talking about all episode. We would love to send it to you.

Go to tcbpodcast.com. Hit the contact us button. Send us your physical address. Tell us you want the sticker and away it goes! Also 1-855-TCB-8383-1-855-TCB-8383. Tall free anywhere in the world. we'll pick up the charges. Comments, questions, concerns, content ideas. We take them all at 855 TCEB 8383.

Also, we have a bit of a TikTok channel going on now. So go to TikTok, dial up TCEB podcast, and there we are. And we're starting to post every day on TikTok. Who knew that our audience would be on TikTok Everybody's on TikTok. It's mostly people over 70 following us, but whatever. I'll take it at the commercial break on Instagram and fully edited episodes every single time they air here on the audio feed YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Hi, Chrissy, I guess that's all we can do today. I think so.

So I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. And best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say, and we must say, good bye. Good bye.

Good bye. musicI'm a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a you