The Commercial Break - Hack Those Sticky Eyes!

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

Episode#703: Bryan & Krissy discuss a viral trend claiming to "hack" the bar pick-up scene by staring annoyingly at a potential mate until they submit to your will. Will it work? Of course not! Hacks are just bad ideas to get views or secret cleaning tips your grandma used years ago. Plus, Bryan finds out he could use some cleaning hacks after one of kids pukes all over his shower time. Watch episode #703 on Youtube Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT's Focus on Community, a follow-up on a story 22 years in the making. Longtime Crabapple residents will remember the short-lived but meaningful Russian exchange student program that tugged at the hearts and the souls of the citizens of this great township. And some with a keen mind will recall the very first Russian exchange student, 42-year-old Roman Rachmanovac. Roman was just a rather fresh-faced middle-aged man studying opera at the local community college of Crabapple when he lost his chin, part of his tongue, and most of his nose in a terrible massage-related accident at Tina Tannen-Tweez.

While Tina Tannen-Tweez continues to deny culpability, Roman harbors no ill feelings and made a triumphant return to the Crabapple Community Theatre this afternoon to give a rousing performance. And with very little pun, Crabapple took this one on the chin. Here now, Roman, with the Crabapple Community Volunteer Orchestra, covering the Beatles, Let it be! The token drives of tribal mother Mary comes to me, Speaking quants of wisdom, let it be. And in my arned darkness, she is standing right in front of me, Speaking quants of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. With the words of wisdom, let it be. And when the night is cloudy, There is still the light that shines over me, Shone until tomorrow, let it be. I wake up to this sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me, Speaking words of wisdom, let them be.

Let them be, let them be, let them be, let them be. I want to be an ambassador, let them be. Let them be, let them be, let them be, let them be. He may not be able to smell what you're cooking or put on a helmet properly. But on behalf of the township of Crabapple, let me be the first to say post-Dravina. On this episode of the Commercial Break. If there was a secret that you could use, some magic power, and on occasion, I will admit, on occasion, a hack works a hack on occasion and it's usually something your grandma was doing right

exactly like how to clean the microwave yeah it's like some weird tribal writing in a cave it's been lost for a generation but now we found it again like lemon and vinegar really does clean no any taught us that one and we're still surprised that vinegar's cleaning the house. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this. The commercial break. The only one you're gonna need. The only one you'll ever need. Five minutes or less.

Raw dog it. I like that little finger movement you did too. You like that when I kind of swooped in? Uh huh. You have to check that out on youtube.com slash the commercial break. Hey that guy who does Dr. Phil, is it Ryan Long who does Dr. Phil? Do you know who I'm talking about? The comedian who does the Dr. Phil live show?

No. Have you seen this? Uh uh. I think we've talked about it briefly on the show. There's another podcaster and comedian, I think his name is Ryan Long, and he does, like he gets a bald cap on, he dresses up like Dr. Phil, and he does a whole live show called Dr. Phil Live, where he goes up and he pretends he's Dr. Phil. He talks to celebrities, he interacts with the audience. It's really funny, but

my impression is better. That's all I got to say. Okay. You want to do it? You want to do a fill off? We'll do a fill off. I can do a fill off This is gonna be a change in day in your life. I'm telling you right now Grass greener on the other side, isn't it? Dr. Phil has found his way into controversy and Infamy he has been quite the nit-nick as of late running around running around what happened at the Dr Phil show couldn't you continue to do that I was okay I think my mom liked it but for him to jump straight into ice like what are you doing people catching people and near the border it's just make sure everything's going okay. Oh, really? Okay, all right.

Dr. Phil. Yeah, this is the part that really kind of gets me and I don't want to go, I'm not gonna go off on a tangent so just stay tuned. Don't press pause just yet. Not gonna go off on a tangent. I'm just gonna say this and this'll be it. It surprises me and it infuriates me at times

how content creators and other celebrities are just jumping over themselves to lick the balls of, you know, political figures that otherwise we would have just had a kind of a healthy distrust of, like a little bit of, I don't know, like a little bit of, I don't think I trust that guy because he's a politician, but now everybody's like licking the balls as quick as they can. And I get it because you don't certainly don't wanna be on the bad side of a certain political party

that may or may not exact revenge upon you. But then at the same time, like shouldn't we have like a little healthy disdain for our politicians and our higher ups in our government? Doesn't matter who's in power. They're on both sides. They're all gonna fuck you. And so you might as well have a, for our politicians and our higher ups in our government. Doesn't matter who's in power. Get on both sides. They're all gonna fuck you.

And so you might as well have a, you know, just keep one eye open when you're dealing with these people and to just run to get in the middle of the fray and the fracas so that you can take it, you know. Well, I mean, he had plenty of money, I'm sure. Why did he need to- Dr. Phil! Yeah, why did he need to get back out there? Go enjoy yourself on an island somewhere.

Him and Judge Judy were the number one syndicated talk shows, television shows in daytime TV. And daytime TV pays a shitload of money because it gets syndicated all over the place. And they throw those, I don't know, Tide commercials in there and everybody loves it. General Mills and Tide, they all spend their money in the afternoon. And that's big money. You can make a Dr. Phil show probably for 50,000 if you have the set, you know ready You could probably make it without Phil's salary. You can probably make it for 50,000 bucks. Oprah's set anyways, right? Yeah, it was Oprah. He's doing it Oprah. Thanks, Oprah. See even Oprah you should have a healthy disdain and distress for it I like Oprah. I don't have I don't know her but I can't say to him

I like Oprah because my mom liked Oprah. Oh, I love Oprah. I love Oprah because my mom, ballsy a woman as she is, decided to do the following. Let me tell you the story. There is a famous period of time with the Oprah Winfrey show when Oprah was everything. Oprah was everything in the 90s. Everything. And they used to run these commercials, and here was the tagline. It was like a promo commercial for Oprah, and they'd be showing clips of her show, and there'd be a little Diddy in the background.

And that Diddy was, Oprah's on. Gotta make it, because Oprah's on. Oprah's on. Gotta make it, because Oprah's on. Right? So the thing was, is everybody was saying, oh, Oprah's on. We gotta go watch Oprah. So my mom picked us up from school one time, three o'clock. That carpool was

no joke. Sometimes you get stuck there till 315, 330, just waiting for your kids to get to your car. It was a totally shit of a process, like it is now with my kids. It's like, holy fuck, this is so inefficient. Why do we do it this way? But anyway, that's not for me to decide. That's for me to suffer through. I'm not going to decide things. I'm going to suffer through. So, my mom picks us up up, swear to God, driving through my neighborhood, and there are a number of stop signs, but we're in this neighborhood that no cop has ever visited for any reason besides maybe some drama that happened inside the neighborhood. Cops don't sit there and clock people.

It's a neighborhood, like a private neighborhood. Well, my mom blows through a stop sign and when the cop pulls her over, my mom is so agitated that she tells the police officer, can you hurry up? Oprah's on. Oprah's on. My mom had to make it to see Oprah. She's willing to kill her kids. Did he? Did he speed things up? He did not speed things up. In fact, I think he slowed them down. I would say so. Yes, because that's the way it works. It's not a great excuse. But my mom had been watching

Oprah since we were kids in Chicago when she had a non-syndicated show when it was just broadcast locally. And it was a different type of show back then. But I just remember my mom would cry at the Oprah show. She would laugh at the Oprah show. It was like Oprah was her best friend. And so for me as a little child, as a toddler and a little kid watching this- She was an anti-opera. She was what? Anti-opera.

Anti-opera. That's what it felt like. Yes. It felt like I had an extra aunt and her name was Oprah and Oprah was omnipresent in our lives and whatever Oprah said went. So I have an affinity for Oprah. It doesn't mean that Oprah's done all the most wonderful things in the world, including hoarding land in Hawaii. But okay, let's get past that. She dropped a holy shit bomb on us twice, not once, but twice, with Dr. Phil and then Dr. Oz. God damn it, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, Oprah? Really? Dr. Phil?

Well, they morphed into people that were not who they portrayed themselves to be in the beginning, I think. And I didn't see the Oprah Winfrey Network running from that. Do you know what I'm saying? They collected that cash. That's all I got to say. I didn't see it running from that. Dr. Phil, listen, at first, Dr. Phil? Yeah, straight talk.

Straight talk, Dr. Phil! You know, my husband's cheating on my wife, cheating on my uncle, cheating on my brother, and he'd be like, this is going to be a changed day in your life. Do you think you should be sticking your dick in your mother? No? That's right. You shouldn't be sticking your dick in your mother.

Let's talk turkey here, guys and girls. We shouldn't be sticking dicks in our mothers. You understand? You agree with me? And everybody would be like, oh, finally, someone said it. You shouldn't have sex with your mother. And it was Dr. Phil. And we were all like, Dr. Phil, a little straight talk

when it's needed. That's right. But then it turned into, like, Dr. Phil, a little straight talk when it's needed. That's right. But then it turned into like, catch me outside girl. Like, you know what I'm saying? Catch me outside. He was doing, he was, it was straight up. Well, as we know, content is hard to consistently keep up with. And I think, you know, they all kind of turn the way of the crazy. Jerry Springer Show. Yeah.

That's right. They devolve. And if you've watched the Jerry Springer, Netflix documentary, which is very good by the way, then you'll see how quickly that happened because guess what? That's where the ratings are. We love a train wreck. And to me, Dr. Phil, toward the end, a lot of it was just like poverty porn,

if I'm being honest. It was just bringing on a lot of people who didn't have a lot of money, were in tough situations that probably any of us could find ourselves in, but they happen to be in it, and then exploiting that situation for ratings, sometimes in three or four episodes. But Ryan Long does a pretty funny Dr. Phil. I will say that. Back to that. Back to Ryan Long. Be funny. Hurry up. Be funny. Hurry up and be funny.

I'll tell you what's not funny, Chrissy. Oh. Puke. Puke is not funny. I don't find puke to be funny. Hurry up and be funny. I'll tell you what's not funny, Chrissy. Oh. Puke. Puke is not funny. I don't find puke to be funny. I hate puke. Who loves it? Well, I mean, I don't think there's any.

I don't know. There are puke lovers out there. There is a sexual fetish. No, no. Yes, I'm not even kidding. Not even joking. I cannot believe you put that in my mind. Yeah, well, hey, listen,

I'm not putting it in your vagina. I'm just putting it in your mind. Oh, God. There's a sexual fetish out there for, I'm just putting it in your mind. Ah, God. There's a sexual fetish out there for people who puke. They like to be puked on, that's a thing. I don't know, I know, I'm absolutely horrid. We all went to school, and every school had that bag of orange flavored sawdust

that they would throw on puke that did nothing but make the puke smell like orange flavored puke. Yeah, it was bad. I could still get a whiff of that. Oh yeah, I still smell it to this day. As a matter of fact, I went into my kid's school the other day and there was a pile of that orange. It was present.

Yeah, they still use the same shit to suck up the puke. Can't they use OxyClean or something? Yeah, isn't there like something like a puke machine? Don't they have like a puke robot that comes and like, you know, I will now clean up your puke Yeah, or something there should be we need to invent that Boston Dynamics needs to invent screw all that soldier bullshit Invent a robot that goes and cleans up puke on your behalf without making it smell like orange deodorant puke Do you know there's gotta be somehow, you know, like a carpet like the Bissell steam, you know Yeah, green green thing. Yes, you can use there's got to be the Bissell steam, you know, green thing that

you can use. There's got to be something. Like combine a Roomba and a steam cleaner. Yes. It's got a big mouth on the bottom of it, like a fish mouth, and it just sucks up the puke. It puts it in a bag, like a sanitary bag, and then it drives it to a far off location and puts it on a rocket and sends it to outer space. Yeah, it explodes, that's right. Because puke and shit. I mean, if you know me, if you listen to the show, then you will know that I just have a real problem

with pee-pee poo-poo and puke. It's like bodily fluids are not my thing at all. And then you had 30 kids. And then I had 30 kids. And now they're all, it's coming out of every direction. It really is. Yeah. It was a couple of years ago when two of my kids

got sick at the exact same moment and Astrid happened to be out with her friends that night and they got sick at the exact same moment. One sat up out of bed, like shot up like something out of the extrasyst and just started projectile vomiting. And then when the, then the other one who was in the same bed rolled over and started vomiting over the side of the bed within seconds of each other, it was insane.

And so here I am carrying both kids running into the bathroom, disrobing them, putting them in the shower. Well, that was a couple of years ago. And then we had the projectile vomiting incident on the way home from my dad's house one time where the entire car was full of puke. I mean, my kid could not stop throwing up. It was projectile and it was gross. Well, the other night, as I do, Chrissy, I was taking my third shower of the day. That's my wrap-up shower, my wrap-up shower for the night, and try and relieve some of my high blood pressure. I stand in the shower for 30 to 40 minutes, catching up on whatever television I haven't had an opportunity to

watch yet. So I'm taking a shower, it's 11 o'clock, 11 to 30 at night, and the door is closed, the door to my bedroom, the bathroom is closed, and I hear the most ungodly bang, like boom, just a crashing sound. And I was, holy shit, what was that? Because everybody was asleep. And then as soon as I scream, what was that? Astrid comes popping through the door, like a fucking Kool-Aid man, you know, ah, crashing through the door with one of my youngest kids

holding her, facing forward, arms outstretched, and all I can see is just puke just pouring out of this child's mouth. And I'm like, oh no no no no no. It's on the glass of the shower, it's splashing on the floor, and I say, give her to me, give her to me. Why I said that I have no idea, but I just thought I was trying to be helpful. Yeah, I didn't think she would actually do it. She gives her to me fully clothed. I'm in the shower completely naked. And now I've got this kid that's puking all over the place in my hands, fully clothed, now sopping wet. So I undress her real quick in the shower. I put the clothes off to the side in the shower and I throw her up over the top of my shoulder.

And I'm just like rocking her back and forth like, oh, it's okay. It's okay. You know, and she's crying and she's upset because this is like one of the first times I think she's actually puked as a toddler. And the warm water is running on top of us. I'm like, the warm water will calm her down. And then I can just feel it, Chrissy. I can just feel the warm, silky, smooth flavors of macaroni and cheese and birthday cake running down the back of my body.

And I look over my shoulder and she's just like, all over my back. It's just dripping into the shower. I'm in a mess now and I don't know what to do. How will I get out? What will I do? Do I throw the child over the shower glass and hope that they land on their feet? Do I scream? This is now a choose your own adventure in my mind. Do I call Astrid and beg her to take this puking baby out of my hands or do I just man up, let her puke on me and clean her up when she gets done and hope that everything turns out okay? Well, I would have yelled to Astrid, but Astrid was cleaning the puke from the bed, like, you know, waking all the kids up and taking them off the beds and, you know, cleaning

the puke. She had puked all throughout the whole bedroom. It was just, it was disgusting. It was awful. The worst part about it was it had that smell. You know, sometimes you puke and it's got a smell, but it's not that bad. And then sometimes you puke and it smells like it's been ruminating for a couple of days.

Do you know what I'm saying? That distinct throw up smell. And this was that. And this was that. It was, ah. So now I'm full of it. She's full of it. The clothes are in the corner.

There's puke all over the shower floor. What do I do? Well, I just decide to man up and let it happen. Yeah, you have to. Okay. You can't risk getting another area of the bathroom, Pukey. Well that's the thing is that- Yeah, I might as well just let it all happen in the one place.

And you're in the shower, so- And I'm in the shower, so- It's kind of running down. Yeah, it's running down into the drain, which- You can clean that up later. Yeah, clean that up later. Well, I unscrewed the drain and I just let it wash down. Listen, whatever, it's going to the same place, right?

It's going to the same place as the toilet water. What do I give a shit at the end of the day? And it wasn't, my kid is small relatively, so it wasn't like huge volumes of throw up. It wasn't like I just had 13 Bud lights and threw up all over the floor. So I just let it happen. And then I rock her in my arms for like 20 minutes while Astrid is cleaning up the thing. I mean, the shower is just going, and I'm there with the thought that someone has just thrown up on me, and I'm in the shower, and I can't tell you the pins and needles

running up and down my back and my arm, you know, that like feeling like, oh, get it off me, get it off me. And I know it's off me because I've been sitting in the shower for 20 minutes, but I can't get rid of the thought that someone had thrown up on me on my head. Well, it's not a stranger, it's off me because I've been sitting in the shower for 20 minutes, but I can't get rid of the thought that someone had thrown up on me. Well, it's not a stranger. It's your child.

She's a stranger when she's throwing up. That's not my child. That's some demon child. That's some demon animal that's throwing fire out of her mouth. She might as well be a boll, like a like a livey bull eye virus, as far as I'm concerned. It was disgusting. And that was my thought, too, is like, what if she has a virus? You know, that awful 24-hour stomach bug that you get? And it just, like, where your body... We both had that, what, six months ago or so? At different times and in different households. It feels like August or October of last year, like sometime in the late summertime.

I was surprised. I mean, you rarely as an adult get that. Rarely. You know, but when it is just, ugh, I hate to throw up. I hate it. To begin with. I hate it. And then when it's uncontrollable. Uncontrollable and you're just, oh, you're laying down and then getting back up and laying

down and get back up. Ugh. When you are a kid. I'm like, I remember being like, there's nothing left. There wasn't anything left. Just stop. But I continued to go. Yeah. I continued to go and retch. I's the worst part, is I'd almost rather

have something in there. Retch that bile, that green fucking bile. Ugh, ugh! Yeah, but luckily this was not that, so to speak. This was, I think, a combination of foods. We went to a birthday party, there was ice cream, and cake, and cookies, and Doritos. Yeah, and you just let them do it.

A lot of jumping, running. Running, jumping, bouncing. Oh, it was at a trampoline park too. So there you go, bouncing up and down. And of course, dad's always spinning the kids around for some reason, throwing them on the bed. And that's my type of play with them. I just pick them up and throw them on the bed.

And I'm like, hey, there you go. It is fun. But that, so this was not a virus related thing. I think it was just a tummy ache type of thing. But man, I'll tell you what, I am so glad it wasn't because all I could think about laying down that night was please don't wake up in the middle of the night like I did six months ago. Yes.

That was the time the kids, the kid, one of our children was puking in the car. And it, oh, it was July because it was one of my kids' birthdays. And the next birthday was just a couple of days later. And we missed any activities for that birthday because we were so incredibly sick. Astrid and I got it almost within 12 hours of each other. And we were both hugging the porcelain. I mean, just like begging for mercy. And then the kids got better and Astrid and I were still sick. We were still sick. I remember that. You're like, we can't record.

Oh my God. I was like, go to McDonald's, buy all the happy meals you can, buy the movies. I don't care how little money we have, just send them to Six Flags, get a babysitter, put them on a bus, send them down to the airport and back. I don't care. It doesn't matter. All reasoning goes when you're that sick. You don't give a shit.

You just want your children to leave you the fuck alone. Please, please. But no, there's no rest for the wicked. Those kids don't stop. As a matter of fact, the worse off you you are the more irritating they get because they understand They have an inherent sixth sense. They know you're sick and they won't leave you alone It's like being on the phone too. Yes, you know, you've got a Yes, the one time as a parent I've been hungover

Was the worst parenting day ever. Not only because I was hungover, but because they knew it. They had an instinct. They're like a cat. They have like cat-like reflexes and they jump on you and they pounce. And they're like, hey daddy. And you're like, my brain's about to bleed. Oh really?

Peppa Pig is on. Can I turn on Peppa Pig in volume 50? Yeah, sure. Okay. No problem, I guess. It's 6.15 in the morning. Time to wake up. Daddy just got home at three.

I know. When we come to parent to a daddy. Oh, excuse me while I vomit on you. Oh, it was terrible. Maybe there needs to be like one of those children's shows that's educational and, you know, where they mimic hungover parents and what to do, what the child should be doing, which is be very quiet. Be very quiet.

You know, make up a little song, a little parents are hungover song. Yeah. Is Bluey going to do an episode on hungover mommy and daddy? Yeah, they should. Yeah, in that movie, we need to put a section of that movie dedicated to hungover. They haven't dealt with hungover yet, but I could see Bluey and Bandit doing this really well. And you're right about this. Sesame Street needs to do an episode on mommy and daddy being hungover.

Yes, or sick. Or sick. Yeah, you know, either way, same thing. Yeah, so the mommy and daddy can get back to drinking. Listen, I have lots of, I have one friend in particular who did this the entirety of raising his children, but he had a wife that always took care of the children. Do you know what I'm saying?

He always had an out, he had a card. He would always say, I gotta go to work, maybe I gotta brainstorm about my work. I gotta do a brainstorming sesh, which meant five days worth of cocaine and two bottles of whiskey an hour, which meant five days worth of cocaine and two bottles of whiskey an hour and cigarettes and all kinds of things. And he would always call me and he'd be like, bro, I gotta do a brainstorming sesh.

And one time I caught him out on my porch at like 530 in the morning, sun's just coming right up and he's out there on his computer, cigarettes, like five cigarettes in his mouth, you know, lines cut on a mirror. I solved the key. I solved the key to all the things that I needed to see. And then he slept for two days. Right. At least. He slept for two days. Wow. That's how it works. All right. I got lots more to talk about. We'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has

made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video just in case you want to look at Chrissy at TCB podcast.com want your voice to be on an episode of the show. Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode or you could make fun of us. That us on the phone. Call us on the phone. Call us on the phone. Call us on the phone. Call us on the phone. Call us on the phone.

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Call us on the phone. Call us on the phone. Call us on the phone. Call us on the phone. Call us on the phone. Call us on the phone. commercial break. Do you have business insurance? If not, how would you pay to recover from a cyber attack, fire damage, theft, or a lawsuit? No business or profession is risk-free. Without insurance, your assets are at risk from major financial losses, data breaches, and natural disasters. Get customized coverage today starting at $19 per month at ZenSurance.com. Be protected. Be Zen. Hey you out there in the podcast universe. I'm dropping in to share with you a podcast

that I am currently enjoying. I only agree to this a couple times a year because let's face it, I really want all the attention on me and my show. But Odyssey, our network, has dropped a true gem. All right, some free word association here. Young adults looking to have the time of their life, billions of dollars in free-flowing revenue, secret administrators who will do anything to avoid bad press, and cover-ups with endless twists and turns. Put them all together, mix them up, and you've got the wild universe of college campus life.

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Odyssey app or wherever you're listening to podcasts. And thanks to Odyssey for supporting good content and great content creators. Alright, and we're back. You know, Chrissy, I'm always looking out for the listener. and great content creators. All right, and we're back. You know, Chrissy, I'm always looking out for the listener. I'm always just thinking about the listener. I like to think that I'm selflessly thinking about the listener as I'm trolling around bikini pictures and making sure that the world of Instagram is nipple-less.

But sometimes I come across a trend that I think is important for some of our listeners to know. And you know, I think we have a few single listeners out there. I hear from them every once in a while. I get a text message or an email. And just by the nature of the email, you can tell that they're single or they should be single. Or there's a reason they're single. Or there's a reason they're single. There's a trend on TikTok and Instagram going on right now. There's a girl who has taught everybody something called the sticky eyes. Have you heard about the sticky eyes?

I have not. Okay, let me let her explain in her own words. How's that? I'm going to put this up to the microphone because we don't have somebody to play this for us. So, okay, wait one second. Sticky eyes. Sticky eyes. Okay, here we go. This is one of my most powerful hacks. This is how to get anyone to come up to you in a bar or in a social setting. This is called sticky eyes. I invented this in college.

It is so powerful that usually while I'm demonstrating to someone how to do it, I end up just doing it and I'm not even giving it my all. First of all, this girl, there's no humility with this girl. I mean, she is. I invented this. I invented it. You invented eyes?

Did you invent eyes? Let's see what she has to say. I'm gonna tell you how the hack works and then I'm gonna tell you why it works, okay? It's a simple formula. You pick your target, you stare at them until they look back at you. Once you make eye contact, you look away like you've been caught. Okay?

Now here is the next very important part. The next time that you look at them and they meet your eyes again, don't look away. Let them break first because they're going to check to see if you were really looking at me. And the second look will confirm that you were. And this time you're going to have to hold it uncomfortably long. They have to looking at me and the second look will confirm that you've worked. And this time you're going to have to hold it uncomfortably long. They have to look away first for this to work. Once they look away, you never look at them again. And in about 45 seconds, they will be right in front of you as if they have been summoned

psychically by you. Okay. This sounds just as dumb as anything Michael Anthony has ever said. Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like that's a take on whoever we were listening to that said, just go up and stare at them. Yeah, just like corner them. Put an arm up so they can't get away. I mean, this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Stare at them uncomfortably long and they'll come right to you? With a police officer maybe? I mean, how many restraining orders do you have young lady? This is weird. You don't just stare at somebody uncomfortably long. That is a weird notion that that would work. It was a two-pronged approach. Yeah, you first look away and then stare at them.

Yeah, stare at them until they look at you, then quickly look away. Then look at you. And then when they look back, then that's when you just stare. And then, wait, it was actually a three-pronged approach, right? Because... Then they will come right to you. No, well then you look away and then you never look again. Don't ever look again.

Throughout the entire relationship, look down at your feet. So I noticed you staring at me, nope, my shoes, those are my feet. What the fuck? Yeah, well, okay, so how is that even supposed to work? Then they just come up to you and say what? It doesn't work. This girl for some reason thinks she's got some magic because she stared at a guy and he came to her.

Yeah, okay, guys are pretty fucking dumb in general. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, she's a pretty girl. You give a guy any attention. Yeah, she's a pretty girl. I mean, she's attractive. You give, if you have that girl staring at you and you're at a bar and you're single, of course you're gonna come hither.

I mean, that's it, that's the thing. Guys aren't, this is the thing, ladies. Guys are really not a riddle. We're not a mystery. In case you haven't figured it out yet, we're pretty open as far as books are concerned. We're pretty open books. If you give us any amount of positive attention or negative attention, it's likely we're going

to come hither like a puppy dog if we're single, because that's just what we do. There's no magic to that. You could just go up to a guy and say, I think you're attractive, come have a drink with me. And if a guy has half a head on his shoulders and he's single and available or in a relationship that's, you know, ethically non-monogamous or whatever you're calling it these days, then of course he's going to come hang out with you. Do you know how many times this same trick has worked on me? None. You want to know why? I didn't give a girl a chance to have the second stare. After the first stare, I was buying her a drink. That was it. Yeah. Look at me once. I was literally scanning the bar for anyone to look at me.

And if you looked at me, you got a free Bud Light. That's what happened. You play the odds. You send over Bud Light no matter what. Just Bud Light, Bud Light, Bud Light. And if you don't like Bud Light, you're not for me, then move on to the next one. That's it. I saw you in action. I saw this happen. Was I in action? Boy, I would stare at the ladies. It was usually the bartender. It was usually the bartender. It was uncomfortable, who'd ask to change shifts. She'd be texting somebody.

She'd be like, can you cover my shift? Brian's back. That guy's back. The guy who stares? Yeah, yeah, the guy who stares. This is not a good idea. I don't know why this is so complicated. Be yourself, do your thing.

Don't be a fucking creep ball. Don't be staring at people endlessly until you try and make them like zoom them in with your magical powers. Just go and have a conversation with somebody. And if it works, if there's magic, you'll know it. And if there's no magic, you'll know that too. And if there's magic that you're feeling and she's not or he's not, well, you'll figure that one out eventually.

That one will come to you eventually. Well you know everybody's looking for a hack quote-unquote too and that's a lot I see a lot of this yes could be anything. Cleaning hack, cooking hack, dating hack, we've hacked it. We've hacked it. It's a shortcut. We've done it. Most of the time there's no hack. It's not a hack. There's no hack. Yeah I've seen all the cooking and cleaning hacks you know. You know how do you clean a dead body out of your basement? Doesn't work. Tried it.

Yeah. How do you make a million dollars podcasting? Tried it. Doesn't work. Money hack. Money hack. Yeah. Investing hack.

Investment hacks. Listen, if there was a secret that you could use, some magic power, and on occasion, I will admit, on occasion, a hack works. On occasion. And it's usually something your grandma was doing way back when. Right, exactly, like how to clean the microwave out with steam. And like some weird tribal writing in a cave that's been lost for a generation, but now

we found it again. That's so true. Like lemon and vinegar really does clean. Noemi taught us that one and we're still surprised that vinegar is cleaning the house better than any, you know, industrial loop or cleaning solution we've ever used. Here's the reality. And I think this is, you know, I had an idea for a segment that we could do that's named, we did it so you don't have to. Yeah. Like take a life hack, do it here, see if it works, and then we'll all really do the

test. If I have been fooled once by the Rubik's cube hack videos, I've been fooled a million times by them. Do you know these videos that go around? You can solve any Rubik's cube by twisting it three times this way, four times that way, seven times this way. Chrissy, I've spent hours in that kitchen dissecting those videos.

I must be doing something wrong. I must be doing something wrong. And then I go to the comments section and it's like, yeah, that works if you take an already completed Rubik's Cube and do that in reverse and start there. So every one of them's fake. Every one of them's a lie. There is no hack for the Rubik's Cube and do that in reverse and start there. Yeah. So every one of them's fake. Every one of them's a lie. There is no hack for the Rubik's Cube. You just, I mean, there are tricks to get it done quicker, but you just have to know

how to solve a Rubik's Cube, which unfortunately my pee brain wasn't able to do in my best of years. It's not going to be able to do in my worst of years. Okay? I'm on the down slide. I'm not going to be able to complete a Rubik's Cube. I don't care. I'm throwing it out.

There's no hack to finding love. There is no hack to relationships. It's about meeting someone with mutual respect, trust, and admiration, and trying your best on a daily basis to keep it par. To keep that par. Trust, respect, admiration. That's it! That's the hack! The hack is be a fucking good partner. Yeah, exactly. If you're a good partner, you'll have a good partner. It really is pretty simple. I've tried all the relationship hacks.

Dating people who are a little off kilter because they're really good in bed, but you'll make it work, don't worry about it. No, doesn't work. Date your best friend. No, doesn't work. I your best friend. No, doesn't work. I don't know. Pay for sex. Still didn't work. I paid for it and I didn't get it.

I paid for it. The two girls with the, you know, the menage-a-trois that you were in. Menage-a-trois. They kicked you out. They kicked me out of the bedroom. I was the only one left without an orgasm. And I had no involvement in the other orgasms. So there you go.

Wasn't fun. Okay? There's no magic secret. There's no heaven. There's no heaven. There's no heaven. There's no heaven. There's no heaven. There's no heaven. There's no heaven And I had no involvement in the other orgasms.

So there you go. Wasn't fun. Okay. There's no magic secret. There's no hack to relationships. Yeah. Communication. Yes.

Respect. Respect. Love. Trust. Trust. Adoration. Yeah. All those things that you hear about that are so hard to do.

That's the hack. That's the hack. Do the hard work. You got to get it right. Yes. Listen, Astrid and I, as of yesterday, have known each other face to face. The first time we met face to face, 10 years ago.

Oh, congratulations. Yeah. Thank you very much. So we've been over 10 years talking to each other. And people will ask, and when I say people, I mean dignitaries and presidents around the world, prime ministers, they will ask- Dr. Phil. Yeah, Dr. Phil. How do you do it, Brian? How do you have a relationship with so little friction?

Well, first of all, be a podcaster who spends most of his time. Like funny side note, at the beginning of this podcast, if you listen to it, you will be reminded that Brian would often come in and say, I think I'm one step from divorce because I'm spending so much time on the podcast. Last night, Astrid encouraged me to spend more time with the podcast. Don't you have some work to do? She's like, oh, we can get rid of that. We don't need that.

You can do the work, right? And I'm like, that means more time in the studio. It'll be okay for a period of time. Yeah. I like my shows by myself now. I know. I have to say I'm on Astrid's page because you know, Jeff works long hours.

He does work from home. Yeah. You know, so a lot of times he's gone to Memphis, but he works from home a lot. And I have morphed, I used to get so upset, like, well, what about let's eat? It's time, I've cooked this dinner, it's time to eat. I wanna watch the show, blah, blah, blah.

Now I am like, just do your thing, honey. I like it by myself. Yeah, I wanna watch Love is Blind, and I'll call you when dinner's ready and you can eat or not. Yes. I'm eating, whether you're not. Whether you're ready or not,

whether you wanna eat or not. You can go back to work after that. Feel free. In fact, I get another episode of Love is not. You can go back to work after that. Feel free. In fact, I get another episode of Love is Blind. There you go. See, here's the thing that I've learned about relationships. They ebb and flow like every other thing, right? Like friendships, every relationship in life, business, friendship, whatever, there's usually

some kind of ebb and flow. At first, you can't get enough of each other. Then you're mad because you aren't getting enough of each other, and then you learn that I've had enough of you. Yes, it's okay. Then you learn I've in fact had enough of you. Well, rather than fight it, you know, rather than, hey, and you know what? The work that you're doing on the podcast is good for the whole family, same with Jeff.

That's it. And it makes him happy, makes you happy, the work that you're doing, and then that's what you want for your partner. I don't know if it makes me happy, but it gives me purpose. that you're doing, and then that's what you want for your partner. So. I don't know if it makes me happy, but it gives me purpose. We laugh. Let's put it that way. We laugh, we do laugh, that's it.

And so, how do you make a relationship last for 10 years? I can count on one hand, the amount of blowouts that Astrid and I have had, and those blowouts were compared to some other relationships I have. Those were like a conversation on a Tuesday afternoon. That was a good day for some of the relationships that I had. Because the blowouts last very little time. Because we have a mutual respect and trust and admiration for each other.

And we know, we just, we kind of understand how each other ticks. Throw a little dash of humor into it too. That's it. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at them. Laugh at your small penis and your inability to give the other person an orgasm. Laugh at that stuff.

That's funny to you. That's funny. That's funny, babe. Look, it's been 10 years, no orgasms. Isn't that funny? Call Guinness Book of World Records. Call the Guinness Book of World Records. 10 year relationship, zero orgasms.

We'll get there, we're working on it, babe. We're working on it. To which she says, I'll be in the bedroom, go back to your studio. I'll be working on my orgasm while you work on your shit, whatever that is you're doing in there. Listen, this is not complicated. Sticky Eyes doesn't work because it worked for this young girl who is attractive and probably- At a bar in college. Yeah, at a bar in college. Come on.

At a bar in college. You could literally, I mean, I hate to tell this story, but I'm gonna tell it because, you know, why not? I've already told every story. When Chrissy and I worked at Clear Channel, there was a guy that sat in the office next to me, and he was a huge Clemson fan because he went to Clemson. Clemson, Clemson, Clemson.

Everything's about Clemson. Clemson, Chrissy, you see the Clemson game? I wanna say his name so bad. Yeah, I wanna say his name because if I said the name and then I did the voice, it would make perfect sense. But he was married, he had kids, he just sounded funny, right? But we loved him, he was a great guy. He was.

Yeah, but he'd be like, hey Brian, you ever been to a Clemson game? And I'd be like, a Clemson game? No, I haven't been to a Clemson game. I've very rarely stepped foot on a college campus, if I'm being honest. And he'd be like, gotta take you to a Clemson game, you love a Clemson game,

the Clemson games are so much fun. And so after a year of haggling me and after a divorce and being beat up at Clear Channel every day, seven days a week forever. Projections, projections, projections, projections, projections, projections. Your projections are up, your projections are down. How many projections do you have? Give me more projections. You know, meetings every morning at seven in the morning.

I finally, I relented. I said, well, because he kept on saying, you know, I finally I relented I said well You know because he kept on saying you gotta come to a Clemson game I take the kids and we set up the thing and we got a nice place and you love it It's Clemson and I'm like, oh, it's a beautiful campus And there's a party and I got my own spot and I paid for it and it's over near campus And I'm like, I don't know what anything you're talking about And it doesn't sound like a ton of fun to go to a Clemson game with your family.

He had two young kids at the time. I didn't have any. Tailgating, do all that. Tailgating the whole thing. But I liked the guy. He was a friend of mine and he was good to me. And I think I was a friend to him. And so after a year of the nonstop talk about Clemson,

I said, all right, I'll go to a Clemson. Well, you gotta go to Homecoming with me. Homecoming is gonna be so much fun. And I was like, okay. He's like, I'll go to a, well, you gotta go to homecoming with me. Homecoming's gonna be so much fun. And I was like, okay. He's like, I don't have a ticket for you, but you can jump over the turnstile. And I'm like, jump over the turnstile? What am I, 12?

I gotta jump over the turnstile. Am I a hooligan looking to get in a Real Madrid match? Like, what am I doing here, right? So Saturday afternoon arrives, he's gonna, I'm gonna meet him at his house house and we're gonna all drive over to Clemson, which is like a two hour drive from Atlanta. And this is all going to make sense when I tell you the rest of the story after the break. We'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break. Text or call us, 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com,

for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at youtube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now was it? You're welcome. Okay, Chrissy and I were talking about a trend on, a reel that's trending on Instagram and TikTok. A hack.

A hack. How to get someone to come hither at a college bar by staring at them until they get uncomfortable and finally come your way and approach you with a security officer. We were talking about that and we were explaining how that's probably not the solution for a relationship. Then Chrissy said, plus, at a college bar. I mean, yeah, a college bar where everybody is smashed and looking for a one night stand, basically. Not everybody, but most people. I mean, we've all been to a college bar. We know

what happens at a college bar. Everybody gets drunk and laid. That's what happens at a college bar. So I was explaining that in my 30s, I have, in my early 30s, I have this guy who's working at the office next to me and he has gone to Clemson. He's a Clemson guy. He's got a Clemson tailgate spot that he pays for every year, season tickets. He's been begging me to go to a game for over a year. So finally I say yes. Show up at his house.

He's already pre-gaming it. Wife's gonna be, wife's pregnant by the way. She's gonna be driving the car. Two small kids already were going into like a minivan or something. And I'm like, yeah. And so I just cracked the Bud Lights immediately. Like this game, by the way, is at 3pm. So we're like, it's like 11 o'clock in the morning, we're heading out there.

And he's like, this is gonna be the greatest thing ever. You've never seen a Clamson game? Clamson's gonna, you're gonna love it. It's awesome. And I'm like, okay, great. We're going to a Clamson game. We get there, two hour drive, we have roadies, we're like drink, the kids are in the car

and we're like pouring Bud Lights into these plastic cups and drinking on the way to the Clemson game. And I swear to God, Clemson flags the entire way up there. Everybody's doing the same thing. Everyone's heading to Clemson. It's like a big Exodus from Atlanta to Clemson. And we go and we park in the trees, right under the, in the shadow of the stadium.

You know, it's, it's pretty impressive, right? I've never been to a college football game at that point in my life. Never. So I'm, I'm, you know, okay, I'm getting excited. I'm like, all right. So we pops open the back at there's a bunch of people that are parked around us in this plot of grass and everybody knows everybody. Hi, what you doing?

Hey, hey, hey, clamps and where's clamps and homemson? Homecoming, homecoming, Clemson. You know, Clemson, Clemson, Clemson. And everybody's dressed in that damn orange and those fucking sun visors and sunglasses hanging around their neck. You know, the typical Clemson wear. Well, across the way, across the street is sorority and fraternity row.

The row. The row. And I mean one long street. So mainly sorority houses on this end of the street where we are. And then at the end of that street, gas station, couple of bars. So before the game, I am out of cigarettes right before the game. And I'm like, okay.

And he goes, well, you just got to run down to gas station down there at the corner, which is like a quarter of a mile. So I go, I cross the street. I'm walking in front of these sorority houses, party and every party everywhere, right? Party everywhere. So I've got a roadie in my hands. I I've now like six, seven Bud lights in and, uh, I don't really make it to the gas station in the most direct way.

I kind of walk through the grass. I pick up a, you know, I get, I pour myself a beer from the gag. I'm just enjoying myself. I'm walking in, I'm talking to people. You get the full college tailgating experience. Yeah, I didn't go to college, so now I'm getting the college experience, hanging out with the sorority and fraternity guys. And by the way, I wasn't the only 30 year old doing this. There was like lots of people just like partying everywhere. Especially if it's homecoming, there's a bunch of alumni coming back for that.

So there were two bars at the end of the street, like the strip mall. It was a Mexican restaurant, it was a bar, and then it was like a bar bar, and then a gas station. So I walk in the front door of the Mexican restaurant, I order a Bud Light, there are a ton of kids in this place, just all drinking, male, female, everything. And there is a young lady sitting at the bar when I ordered the drink, and she's staring at me. And I'm like, hey, what you doing?

And she's like, getting ready for homecoming. This is crazy, isn't it? And I'm like, yeah. And she goes, you are handsome. And I was like, oh, well, thank you. And she's like, meet me here after the game. That's what she says to me. And I take that Bud Light and I pound it,

knowing that I gotta get back and jump the turnstile because I don't have a ticket, right? And I don't think much of it. I have no idea how old this girl is. I'm guessing in her 20s, like mid 20s, but I don't really know. I mean, I don't ask for an ID, right? She looks adults, but she doesn't look like, you know, she's not 40.

And I go and I grab my cigarettes and I go back, and so now I have to jump the turnstile of the Clemson thing. This guy, you know what he did? He's like, I'm gonna take the ticket, and then I'm gonna get the ticket stub, because they only check the ticket stubs, and then you run to the opposite side of the stadium, and then I'm gonna give you the ticket stub,

because I'm uncomfortable about actually jumping. All right! I'm like, I'm an adult. Why don't I just buy gonna give you the ticket stub, because I'm uncomfortable about actually jumping. All right. I'm like, I'm an adult. Why don't I just buy a ticket? He's like, there ain't no more tickets left, it's Clemson. And I'm like, okay, I don't fucking know. By the way, this is long before Clemson was good at football,

like good at football this last time they were good at football. They weren't that good at this point in time. But I'm like, I don't wanna just try to like, it's a big area, you walk into these gates, and then there are ticket takers, right? But if you're sneaky enough, you can kinda like, sneak in behind someone and just head for the hills, right? Just dart, I guess, I don't know.

But I'm not a ticket jumper, like, that's not what I'm gonna do. So he's trying to explain to me how he's gonna throw me the ticket stub from the balcony, and then I'm gonna catch it in the trees, and then I'm gonna walk back in and say I left and whatever. I'm like, no, okay, fine. I'll jump the turnstile.

I'll do that. Well, everyone's walking in and I'm going in behind him and then he's like making this ruckus about his tickets. Like he drops his ticket. You know, he's trying to create a distraction and I like sneak in sideways and as I'm moving to the side, what do I run into? A security guard. And he's like, ticket.

And I'm like, he has my ticket. And then this guy is just like counting them twice. He's like, one, two, three. And then he's like putting behind four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, yeah, sleight of hand. And the security guard is like, you don't have enough tickets. And he's like, I thought I a hand. Seven, eight, nine, yeah, slide a hand. And the security guard is like, you don't have enough tickets. And he's like, I thought I had seven. I don't know what happened.

And he's like, go. He just says, go. Right? And I'm like, oh, thank God. Yeah, this isn't the first time. Yeah, this isn't the first time. And it's not the last time. Apparently, this happens a lot.

We go, we watch the game. Well, the thing that sucks about the game is that there's no alcohol served at the game at this time. There's no booze served at the game. No, that's still a thing. Yeah. So I'm coming down. I'm like, fuck this. Like, you know, okay, yeah, I mean, day drinking only works if you keep drinking. Yeah. And they're playing like West Kentucky tech. You know what I'm saying? It's a homecoming

game. It's an easy school. It's 40 to zero by the time it's the first quarter is over. So I'm like, ah, whatever. Halfway over halfway through the game. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the, and everybody agrees, let's just go back to the car and we'll start drinking. And by the way, the stadium is half empty at this point. Like nobody's there to be. Everyone wants to get back to partying. So we start drinking again. And within an hour I picked up right where I left off. My buzz is good and ding, the light bulb goes off. Oh, I gotta meet that girl at the bar. So what do I do?

I walk back to the bar and no fucking hairy shit is that girl there with her friends hanging out. And she's like, you know, hanging out, drinking. I'm like standing there trying to get her to notice me. Like clearly she'll remember me. She has no fucking, like she's not even paying attention. She has no idea who I am. She's not doing the sticky eyes at all

She's doing the dirty eyes like why is this guy staring at me? And so finally I walk up and I go hey, can I buy you a drink? Remember me and she goes oh Not really It's like we met before the game you tell me to meet you here and she's like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right Oh, yeah, I'll do you know, I'll take a drink, drink, two drinks, three drinks. Now I'm like 45 minutes in. And at some point, however it happened, whichever it happened, I'm not even sure because I do not have this kind of game. I am not John Anthony. I am not Adam the Liar. But all of the sudden we are kissing, like making out in the bar,

kissing and making out. And then I realized I've been gone an hour and 15 minutes. Right, you've been gone from the fam. In my Blackberry, I've like missed like 12 text messages and phone calls because he's like, I gotta go, the kids gotta go to bed, you know, whatever. So I'm like, oh shit, well, listen, I gotta go, I'm sorry. She's like, oh no, no, no, no, let me give you my phone number and then call me and then, you know, next, listen, I gotta go. I'm sorry. She's like, oh no, no, no, no. Let me give you my phone number and then call me and then, you know, next, you know, I live up in Anderson or whatever she says, you know.

I could come down to Atlanta, whatever. I'm like, oh, okay, give me, I'll put it in my phone, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't wait an hour before I text this girl. And what do I get? I get, this number doesn't exist. I get a total fuck you, this number doesn't exist. I get a total fuck you. The number doesn't exist.

It's a totally fake phone number. It doesn't exist. There's nowhere for it to go. Text messages just bounce. My BBMs just bounce. That's it. BBM, if you remember that. The BBM just bounces and I am lost in it.

So here's my point. Staring at someone at a college bar is not a particularly like, I don't think it's an effective tactic, but then you don't even need it. You don't. Just go to a college bar and hang out for long enough and a lovely guy or girl, whatever your favor is, is going to find you because that's what you're doing. You're all partying and having a good time, letting your hair hang out. It's the time of life when you just go and have fun and kiss strangers and drink and

accept shots from people. Be smart about it, right? Be smart about it, always get consent. But have fun! You don't need tips and tricks and hacks. You just need to be yourself. You'll be okay, unless you're a total asshole. And I know a few of those and they, you know, they're, they'll Yeah, then you should change.

Then you should change. Yeah. Then you need therapy. Skip the college bar, go to the therapy. Yeah, the hack is therapy. Yes. But there is no hack to getting attracted to someone or someone getting attracted to you. There is no hack. It's a magic. It's a magic formula that even the best of scientists nor the quantum witch can solve for you. You'll figure it out. You just got to put yourself out there. Go to the bar, grab a pack of cigarettes, walk into the Mexican restaurant when you're on your way to grab a pack of cigarettes. Put yourself out there. Start smoking cigarettes, drink lots of Bud Light, jump the gate at the Clemson game, and, you know, be unscrupulous in general. You will find your human being. They are out there.

There's plenty of us, and there's lots of them. I'm reading all these sad stories about this generation of kids that's growing up now, these 20-somethings and late teens. They are the least laid. They are the least relationship involved, they are the least laid, they are the least relationship involved, they are the least optimistic that they'll ever have relationships that are meaningful, like romantic relationships that are meaningful. And that to me is very sad. But I understand why. It's because you've never just put the screen down for a minute and walked into a bar and gotten yourself into a little bit of good trouble. You know what I mean? Good trouble. That's okay. That's what you're, that's what those-

Or find other interests, you know? Yeah, like drugs. Drugs are perfect for your late teens and early 20s. Now, put them down by your mid-20s or else, you know, then shit starts going sideways. But that's, this is the time of your, go have the time of your life. Go have the time of your life. Get in trouble without getting arrested. That's the good kind of trouble. Find a few strangers. Make new friends.

Have an adventurous night. Do something that doesn't involve a screen and staying at home, wishing things were different. And I promise you, I promise you, you may not get laid every time, but it eventually will happen if you wanted to. Take advice from Uncle Brian. This public service announcement brought to you by Brian. Good trouble. Good trouble. I don't want to encourage anybody to get in actual trouble. I just want them to get in the good kind of trouble. You know, the kind of trouble where you end up, you know,

making out with somebody at the bar. Yeah. What's wrong with that Chrissy? What's wrong with that? Skinny dipping. Skinny dipping? Skinny dipping is good trouble. You know, breaking onto the golf course at three in the morning, smoking a joint, laying a blanket down, giving each other mutual massages. That's a good kind of trouble. Been there, done that. Yeah. Find a massage friend. I guarantee you're going to have some fun with that one. I used to have a massage friend. That's you're gonna have some fun with that one. I used to have a massage friend. That's what we called each other, massage friends. Is this who I think it is?

What's that? Is this who I think it is? No, I don't think so. I don't know who you're thinking about, but I don't think so. I don't think so. I'm not gonna say that. Find yourself an Eastern European angry friend. I don't know what I'm saying. Find somebody and you guys agree to just have the good kind of trouble. That's the good kind of trouble. That's the good kind of trouble. Yes. Just make sure you don't get on their bad side. All right. 212-433-3TCB-212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas. We're taking them all right at that phone number. We'd love

to hear from you. Text message or voicemail. If you have something you want to say to us, call in, leave it on the voicemail and you could be the next voice that opens up the commercial break. Also, we are imploring you, please go follow us on Instagram, add the commercial break. You'd be a doll face if you do it on TikTok too, though we don't post there as often. Listen, I can only do so much, but TCB podcast on tic, tic, youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes, the same day they air here on the audio feed, go check out the new studio floors and TCB podcast.com, all the audio,

all the video and your free sticker at the contact us page. No must, no fuss. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say,

Goodbye. Goodbye. I get ass!