The Commercial Break - He's A Honda Guy...

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

What does "I f*** like a Ford Ranger" mean to you? The world may never know. Selling the show Cromedy This is a show about FRIENDSHIP Radio sales partying If you were a car, what would you fuck l...ike? A threesome Bryan should have taken part in He was SCARED! Krissy’s a Jaguar! Jaguars Seeking sister wives Man children Careful of the STIs… MILF Manor Madonna concert drama Ticketmaster Yuckles! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:02:19 So for me, I would say my old Honda Accord is what I look like. And for me, I would say I also fuck like my old Honda Accord. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. So 30 in the morning! Oh yeah, kids and gents, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green and this is the notorious KIG, Kristin Joy. Only best to you, Chrissy. Best to you Joy Holey. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Best to you, all there on the podcast. K.I.G. K.I.G. Kitty Cat In Charge. K.I.C. is what I said, actually. Did I say G or did I say C? I can't remember. It threw me off.
Starting point is 00:03:00 You're the Kitty Cat In Charge here. How's your sex life? How's your sex life with Jeff? How are you guys doing over there? I need a check in from the cameras. That I pretend are at your house. What are you guys doing over there? Rompin' and rollin'?
Starting point is 00:03:16 He's doing a lot of traveling right now. So what is it? Sex messages and stuff? Like, hey, dick pic. Yeah? That's cute. Tell Jeff to... Forward me Jeff's Dick Picks. I just want to see what's doing over there.
Starting point is 00:03:31 I gotta compare. I gotta compare. I want to see what's going on with Jeff. I want to see what he's working with. It's all for the show. Jeff's like, I swear to God, talks about my dick one more time. We're gonna have to have a tough conversation in this house about who actually makes money
Starting point is 00:03:49 and who doesn't. In that size competition, I promise you, I'm not winning. That's okay though. Never been particularly good with business. That's okay. Here I am today. It was funny because Odyssey is our network. Yes. And we've said a lot on, we always talk about how we're broke as a joke and all this other stuff,
Starting point is 00:04:18 and that is true. I'm not exaggerating in any way, shape or form about that. But we've had a couple of podcast networks now and they've all been wonderful in their own way, shape or form about that. But we've had a couple of podcasts, networks now, and they've all been wonderful in their own way, but Odyssey really has been good to us. It's a- It's an upper echelon. Yeah. They're a big company and they really know how to tackle things in general, like business. They get the business right.
Starting point is 00:04:42 They got stuff and things that I like. They're professionals. They are professionals through and through. So the other day I get onto a sales phone call. It's like a meet and greet. It's like, hey, how you doing? And how's everything going? And here's the sales team that's out there trying to get people to jump on in their
Starting point is 00:05:04 pocket. Here's the people who are mysteriously slipping in the commercial break on the invoices. Right? Hey, what's this? Bundling. Bundling, that's right. Save 30% or more when you bundle. The 30% you save is the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Hey, it's Jenny over here at the podcast agency. I'm just reviewing these last two one invoices and I see something called TCB minus $1000. What does that mean? These were given you a discount for running on the commercial break. Yeah, I think we'll save the discount. Go ahead and charge us full if you could take us off that. We'd appreciate it. But there are like number three comedy podcasts in Atlanta. Yeah, we're really not.
Starting point is 00:05:56 We're not interested. Thanks though. As a matter of fact, pull all our business. If they're on your network, just go ahead and pull all the business. So great group of people. But the question is, it's a meet and greet. So it's like, hey, how did you and Chrissy meet and become a podcast? And so then I got to go through the embarrassing conversation about how we met at your competitor. And so I make this really, I have this really boneheaded line that I say, and it's been
Starting point is 00:06:30 with me all weekend. I swear to God it has been. I said, I said, you know, I got into radio because I wanted to be in radio, not because I wanted to do radio sales. And then I realized I'm sitting in front of like 30 radio sales people. That's not how I meant it. You know what I meant. So I said, because I'm not good at radio sales, you know? But I just felt like all weekend,
Starting point is 00:06:52 I was like, God, Brian, you know, if there's an open mouth, you sure do know how to stick a foot in it. I mean, honestly. I didn't want to get into radio. Yeah. But they were great because they're really good to us and they're really smart about how they go about selling the show, which don't mention the commercial breaks. Jessi Like I said, bundle it. Jared Sussman Yeah. Just say, we got a great comedy podcast. It's comedy. It's crap comedy. It's comedy. Jessi Cromedy.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Jared Sussman Yeah, they have a whole new way of doing things. They've got a new, they've got a new Apple category called Cromedy and it's just got the commercial break. Crap comedy. Jessi Cromedy We're at the top of that things. They've got a new Apple category called cromity and it's just got the commercial breaker. Crappy comedy. Or at the top of that chart. We're at the top of the cromity podcast chart and we have been for years. I will have you know. So then I say this, and this is something that is true. I'll share this with you. So I say, what is the podcast all about? That's a pretty typical question and a very difficult one to answer.
Starting point is 00:07:49 I don't know, Mountain Monster, Sarisa Caputo, Brian washing his ass, you know, leg soap, I don't know what it's about. Christy and Jeff's sex life. Christy and Jeff's sex life. I'm not even sure. But I did get an interesting text message from someone months ago, probably late last year, and they said, you know, I've come to realize that your show at the end of the day is really about friendship and that's why I like it. It's about friendship. It's like me and my friends sitting
Starting point is 00:08:18 around shooting the shit and it reminds me of that and that's why I like it. I feel like you're my friend and we're just having a rap about whatever. And that's how friendship goes. You just sit down, you have a beer, whatever it is you like to do, beer, an eight ball of cocaine, heroin, and then you just have a ketchup, a quick ketchup while you're nodding out or your nose is bleeding, whatever it is, you know? Whatever. Yeah. And so I repeated this. So I've started to tell people that the show is just about friendship. That's really what it's about. It's about Chrissy and I's friendship and as weird as it may be in the stories that
Starting point is 00:08:53 we have. And then I said, then I go, you know, it's about whatever you want to talk about, weird internet oddities, you know, timely topical stuff, news articles, things you did in the past, that one time you threw up in the garbage can. And then I go, don't pretend you didn't throw up in the garbage can because you work in radio and I know you did. And everybody was like, swear to God, it was like this. Yeah. So anyway, so you probably won't be hearing many sponsors in the show from now on, but
Starting point is 00:09:25 I just wanted to thank you for your patience. I wonder if we were on like the kind of the tail end of the wild and crazy radio sales party. Do you think so? I think that in any industry where there are, you know, people 20 to 60, where there's close, intense working going on, especially in sales, there's always going to be that bit of, I have to let loose. The pressure. Yeah, the pressure, it builds and it's got to let loose somewhere. And I think that lets loose
Starting point is 00:09:57 when you go out at night. At a bar. Yeah, at a bar, you know, three in the afternoon on a Monday. I don't know if it's anything like where we worked, you know, 1pm on a Sunday, we'd all be in the office, but just because someone happened to get a gram of cocaine, Rochambeau, buddy, Rochambeau. So, you know, I do think that to a certain degree, I think everybody has experienced this in some way, shape, or form. If you've been in an office environment or a restaurant or a place where you work closely
Starting point is 00:10:30 with other people, if you're the social type, you want to get out there and talk about the manager that sucks. And you kind of have to be the social type to be in sales. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Well, I don't know. Couple of people we worked with. I think they were in
Starting point is 00:10:45 the social type like, you know, let me go meet somebody I can chop up and bury in my basement later. Yeah, that's true. Do you remember, I'm not going to say the name, obviously, and I do, I did end up liking him, but do you remember the older weird gentleman that we worked with that had all the strip clubs as his, okay. And as his clients. As clients. And he loved me and I loved him eventually. But at first I didn't know how to take him because he was really an odd character, very odd. He had weird mannerisms, he spoke in a weird way, and he would come in and be like, he would like twitch and he'd be like... Yeah, I never formed a close bond with him.
Starting point is 00:11:27 He'd be like, hey, the purple elephant wants $50,000 worth of advertising on the internet. What can you put together? And I was like, I don't know. I don't even know what we're selling yet. Yeah. So, never... What are we doing here? Yeah, what are we doing here? I thought I was going to be on radio. So, sure, take that $50,000. Put that on the projection. Double it and put it on the projection. So, the first time he invited me out, he invited me to
Starting point is 00:11:52 the Purple Elephant or whatever it was, right? Let's go to the Purple Elephant. They're my client. They'll take care of us. My wife and I go there all the time. I thought to myself, well, that's pretty liberal relationship. Good for you. He's an older gentleman, he's probably in his late 50s when we knew him. And he had been in radio, he was the one who would tell us the stories that there was a fax machine at some point in the 90s. I keep on throwing my pen across the room and I really don't know why. It's like I have Tarta dyskinesia or something. Yeah, there was a fax machine where orders would just flow, flow through. The money was
Starting point is 00:12:25 flowing. Yes. He said there was a time when he would get there at 9 a.m., there would be orders already on the fax machine and it would not stop rolling. People would just be faxing in, you know, PO after PO. And he also said- We missed those days. We missed those days. We missed those days. And now we had to beg people to advertise on this medium. So, he invites me and I said, yes. And I don't think you and I were quite like BFFs yet, because I'm sure you would have been there with me. I actually think I was still married
Starting point is 00:13:01 at the time. And he said, come with me, it's going to be a fun time. So, I talked to my wife, who had also, ex-wife, who had also at the time been to strip clubs with me and I said, hey, let's go to the Purple Elephant. This guy's got like a, you know, VIP treatment the whole nine yards. And for whatever reason, she was like, no, I don't want to go. Probably because she was with a divorce attorney planning the paperwork. I can't make it. Can't make it. Got to sign the divorce paperwork. Don't worry, I'll send it to you just as soon as I can.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Okay, I go, I show up, no shit, VIP treatment. He's in the VIP booth, all the girls are around, drinks are flowing, the whole shebang. So I thought to myself, wow, he was not lying. Yeah Wow, I've never been treated The last time I had this many people around me at a strip club. I was getting thrown out So yeah, that's change. That's right because of the change that my friend threw on the stage so I Got excited and I'm sitting there and I'm with him and his wife
Starting point is 00:14:03 Everyone and the girls are dancing and they're dancing with his wife and they're dancing with him. Even that was a weird, you know, that's a weird thing to think about in your mind if you knew who this guy was. But anyway, he's having a great- And this is at three on a Monday, right? Yeah, this is, this is like noon on a Thursday. Not even kidding you. It's like lunch hour.
Starting point is 00:14:23 And that's why everybody's getting the royal treatment. But it doesn't matter what time you go to a strip club, there's always people in there, at least in Atlanta, at least in my experience. So we're all sitting around and then I get the weirdest request that I had heard up until that point regarding my sex life. He said, you know, me and my wife are swingers. And I was like, oh, no, no, no, no. In my mind, it's like, abort, abort, abort, abort.
Starting point is 00:14:49 That's what's going on in my mind. I'm like, oh, no. But I said politely, hey, thanks anyway. I'm married. Did he say, would you like to join us? No, he didn't have to say it because in the declarative sentence was also a question you just had to read between the lines, or at least that's where my mind went. So I used my wife as a convenient excuse.
Starting point is 00:15:18 First of all, no fucking way. I mean, there's just no fucking way. We are all getting older. We're all going to be there at some point, but this was not the point at which I needed to go there. Right? I am not in the, what's that place down in Florida that we're going to go retire? The villages. I am not in the villages quite yet. So I say, Hey, thanks man, but I'm married and that's not in the program. Like, well, at least it wasn't in my program.
Starting point is 00:15:47 At least I wasn't aware it was in the program at the time. So, I said no. And so, afternoon goes on. Now we're like, shift change, five o'clock, now I'm nice and saucy, right? Of course. And all of a sudden, his wife, like, we were sitting next to each other at the table, girls dancing, and while this girl was dancing in front of me, I'm not a huge lap dance guy, like, you know, I don't need you to get on my lap and everything, I'm not sure if you
Starting point is 00:16:13 wash your legs or not, so. But the wife starts sliding her hand into my inner thigh. And for the first time, and the last time, because now I'm in an age where I would welcome that kind of attention, but I took my hand and I was like, oh no. And she leans over and she says this, I may not look like a Cadillac, but I fuck like a Ford Ranger. And I had no idea what that meant. None. It made no sense. And I'll never forget the line, and I'll never forget how quickly I asked if I had a tab, if I needed to pay it. I excused myself from the glitter soaked, wonderfully smelling woman that was in front of me, and
Starting point is 00:17:00 I left the building. And I was so... I remember I remember I got a cab like I left my car there and I had to get my ex-wife I think my ex-wife drove me the next day or maybe I don't maybe it was you I don't even know yeah but it was the weirdest I may not look like a Cadillac but I fuck like a Ford Ranger okay if you were like power yeah like power eight cylinders all-wheel drive Is that what it's called? Yeah, like power, eight cylinders, all wheel drive, comfort seats. Back the truck up? Yeah, massaging seats. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Meep, meep. Chrissy, I'm telling you. I don't know. If you were a car, what would you fuck like? That's the question. Here's the question I pose to everybody out there. If you were a car, what would you fuck like? That's the question. Here's the question I pose to everybody out there. If you were a car, what would you fuck like? Because you need to apparently have that line ready if you were a swinger. Yeah, you do.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Yeah, for sure. Unfortunately, I wasn't a swinger. I missed that one. That's another one. Remember telling the chiropractor story about how I was in a room full of crystal meth smoking chiropractors who were very attractive and they were like, hey, get in on this action. Like, all of a sudden the women were nude and I was, and the guys were looking at me and they were like, hey, you want to hit this pipe and then get, you want to hit this pipe and then lay some pipe? What do you think? Hit this pipe, lay some pipe, I'll suck some pipe. What do you think? What do you think? And I was like, I'll pass. But do you have any cocaine?
Starting point is 00:18:23 But looking back, we've discussed this, looking back, you might should have just gone ahead and gone for it. Looking back, I think that might've been the one op, not the one, but that might've been the orgy that I could have taken part in and I didn't, and maybe I should have. I'm not saying I should have, I'm saying maybe I should have. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:18:40 If I had been more clear headed or wasn't at the age where I was scared of pussy, maybe I would have gone for it. But at that time, I just, I was scared. That's just the reality. I was just scared. I was scared of what was going to come. And was I going to come? Was he going to come?
Starting point is 00:18:55 And where was his come going to be around me? Those are all the questions running through my mind. But if you're ever in that situation, you need to have a line ready to go. And that line needs to include what kind of car You look like and what kind of car you fuck like so for me. I would say my old Honda Accord is what I look like And for me, I would say I also fuck like my old Honda Accord Fast door is with what no left-hand side of the car. The driver's side just completely gone.
Starting point is 00:19:26 I literally would drive and there would be no door. I'd be like, hey. Speaking of, I remember I had bashed my side of my car, do you remember? Yes, I do. And I did that pulling into the floor quality at the radio station. Well, to be fair, that was the most ridiculous parking lot I've ever been in in my entire life. and work one time at the radio station.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Well, to be fair, that was the most ridiculous parking lot I've ever been in in my entire life. Last turn, I made a sharp turn around this pole. Yeah, like the foundation post. It was underneath the building. I cut it too close. I know. You're like, oh no, hopefully it's not as bad as it sounded, but it was.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Listen, they had a lot of parking in there. There were probably like, I don't know, 250 spaces, plenty for everybody, but they were all bicycle parking spaces. It was like being in Spain. I had a Honda Accord and I couldn't fit into it. It was crazy. All right, more talk about car fucking to come. I'm going to think about that.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Yeah, think about it and let us know when we get back from the break. Okay. We'll be back. Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-433-3TCB. And you can text us anytime you want.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at tcbpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcBpodcast.com.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I'm going to share that I've been going through a difficult time lately with one of my family members. No trauma, no huge drama, just a difficult situation that I'm trying to navigate. It's times like these when I'm grateful I've got a therapist that I can speak with. Therapy for me is the release valve.
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Starting point is 00:23:24 If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario. All right, what kind of car are you and what kind of car would you fuck? What kind of car do you look like? What kind of car would you fuck like? I don't know. I don't know about the look like part, but I feel like a Jaguar is maybe somewhere there. Yeah. Smooth. You break down a lot, but it's smooth driving.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Smooth driving when you get out of the shop. That's right. A purr. Oh, you get out of the shop. Danielle Pletka That's right. A purr. Jared Ranere Oh, you purr. Danielle Pletka Wow. Jared Ranere My aunt, my deceased aunt, who I loved very much, Aunt Sandy. Aunt Sandy was a kabillionaire in my mind. And Aunt Sandy made a lot of money in her lifetime. She lost a lot of money in her lifetime. She was one of these that risk, risk was an adrenaline rush
Starting point is 00:24:27 for her. I believe, this is my take on it now that there are many years have passed. She would risk everything and she won a lot. She won a lot. She had a huge pharmaceutical company, like all this different stuff for my Aunt Sandy, but she also lost a lot. She had some issues with, I'm not going to get into all the details, but she had some issues. She lost a lot of money. She was gay. She had a girlfriend that I also loved, was part of the family, that no one acknowledged, no one acknowledged that this woman she lived with for the entirety of my time alive was her actual partner. No one, because that's the kind of family I grew up in. A Catholic family that just ignored the fact that every time we went over to Aunt Sandy's for a
Starting point is 00:25:10 party, this woman who had lived with her for 20 years in the same house was her roommate, quote unquote. Maybe they just didn't want to have to explain it to the children. I'm not sure, but at the end of the day, I knew the gig from the moment that I was able to understand what was going on. I remember knowing in my mind, those two were together and good for them. Never cared one bit. I loved, loved, loved my Aunt Sandy and her partner for that matter, still alive, so I won't mention her by name. But here's the thing. Aunt Sandy used to shower us with attention, love, and gifts. One time for our birthday for Kevin.
Starting point is 00:25:49 One time for our birthday, Aunt Sandy came to the house in Chicago and she looked at Kevin and she says, Toys R Us, let's go. Anything you want. Anything you want. Now I think I believe my mother was with us and so she limited like we remember, I forget the show, but there was a show in Nickelodeon where if you won, you could run through the Toys R Us and grab whatever you could into a cart. This is what this is what happened to us for real because of ain't sand. But the it was
Starting point is 00:26:21 only one cart, right? I really want to get everything. But anyway, Sandy always had a Jaguar. Always, always, always had a Jaguar, as did my grandfather. He had a Jaguar too. They drove Jaguars, even when probably they couldn't afford to, they drove Jaguars. But I will never, and I, let me back up for a second. So I will always be a Jaguar fan. It's imprinted in my head, in my brain, in my mind. I have a Jaguar dealership like a couple miles from my house. I love the Jaguar. I know. I love those older ones too, you know?
Starting point is 00:26:54 Oh, all of them. Yeah, all of them. The ones from the 80s and the 70s, they're beautiful cars. And now they're beautiful cars again. But my aunt always was complaining about how much that Jaguar was in the shop. Always complaining about it. Every other week that Jaguar went into the fucking shop. And so I don't know why, why can't they get that right?
Starting point is 00:27:12 You would think if you spend a hundred thousand dollars on a car that you'd, you'd get it right. You'd figure it out. And that's always made me shy away from buying a Jaguar. That and because I could never afford one. I would walk into the dealership. They probably have a, you know, like one of those Chinese surveillance detection systems. It would be like, 317 credit. Not a Jaguar owner. It's like a club you have to belong to to own a Jaguar. But I do love those cars because of Aunt Sandy and I really wish that I could afford to have one. Maybe one day. Maybe one day. But then you have to afford to be able to maintain them too. That's the
Starting point is 00:27:57 other thing is that if there really are in the shop, and I do remember both my grandfather and my aunt complaining a lot about how much those cars were in the shop. Maybe they've improved now. You have to imagine. And I don't see a lot of them on the road. You know, I was just thinking about this about Atlanta. Atlanta is a Mercedes town. Everybody has a fucking Mercedes.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Doesn't matter if you can afford to have a Mercedes or not. Well, they moved their headquarters here. They did. Their USA headquarters are here in Atlanta. And so therefore, they put a lot of newly used, I say newly used, right? Newly used, meaning the people who work at the headquarters, they're always turning in the cars before 10,000 miles so you can get a good deal. And I think that Atlanta, because of the big RBM dealerships that we have here, has really papered the streets with
Starting point is 00:28:46 a lot of Mercedes. But I was thinking about this the other day. I was at the Little and walking through the shop. I probably counted, just out of curiosity, counted 13 Mercedes-Benz in the Little shopping in the parking lot. Well, it's a little, you know what I'm saying? It's like known for discount foods. And everybody is driving a Mercedes because this is a Mercedes-Benz stadium. We have the USA headquarters here. We have three really large dealerships
Starting point is 00:29:18 that pump out vehicles. And so maybe I don't see as many Jaguars as other places do, but I don't see a lot of them on the road. Oh, you're right. I I don't see as many Jaguars as other places do, but I don't see a lot of them on the road. Yeah. I really don't. And if you want to give us one, I'll be happy to take it for a ride. I always thought, and one of the questions too,
Starting point is 00:29:36 that the salespeople will often ask you is, what do you think are the best brands to buddy up to your show? And I'm always going like, Walmart, sweatpants, yeah, Walmart, sweatpants. Yeah, Walmart, sweatpants and a little. But maybe I should aim higher. Jaguar.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Jaguar. Why Brian 3000? Why Brian 3000! That is the perfect, if there was ever, ever a sponsor that would be good on our show, why Brian 3000? It's the gas station erectile pills Have a boner for days. Are you ready to fuck your brains out? Literally out of her head? Get Wibery 3000, now available in cherry flavor. Let her suck your dick, she'll get hard too.
Starting point is 00:30:31 You'll both be hard for weeks. Ah, oh yeah, the Ford Ranger. You like fucking men? That's okay too, you'll both be so hard. You'll be spinning on each other's asses. Don't worry, it'll be fun. Wybrian 3000 has not been tested on anybody but monkeys. Those monkeys died. Please check with your doctor before using Wybrian 3000.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Wybrian 3000 class action lawsuit is now closed. You can't get any money from us. Wybrian 3000. Wybrian 3000 class action lawsuit is now closed. You can't get any money from us. Wybrian 3000 being pulled off shelves everywhere. Please buy quickly. Oh. Yes, that is the perfect fit for our show. Pun intended.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Pun intended. What did you say? What did you say? What did I say? When they asked what? I left. I left. I just left. You left the sales meeting?
Starting point is 00:31:32 Oh, no. Oh, I thought you were talking about when she asked me if I, when she was like giving me this whole thing in my ear. Back to the strip club story. No, no, no, no. I was thinking about the advertising. That's a problem with ADHD. You can't remember the first or last thing you said. I said lots of things.
Starting point is 00:31:53 I like that you just left the conversation. What brands do you think would be good for the commercial break? Gotta go! Gotta go! One brand, three sales. See you later. Zoom over. End meeting for all. End meeting for all. And meeting for all. See you later. I basically said anyone who's willing to be on the show.
Starting point is 00:32:17 We're not picky. No, no. I said, you know, I felt, I don't want to name the brands here because, you know, whatever, we may or may not be in conversation with them about sponsoring the show. But you know, I said nice things about certain brands and then I said other things about other brands. That's what I said. Okay. I did share with them that, I'm not even going to say, I don't want to get into it. Can we, we'll just leave this conversation.
Starting point is 00:32:45 In meeting. In meeting. In meeting for all. Leave meeting and for all. And for all. Quickly. That's probably what the guy who brought me onto the conversation wanted to do. The second I opened my mouth, he's like, in meeting for all. In meeting for all. Okay. But going back to the strip club talk, was there, how was that then the next time you saw this gentleman? Well, the funny thing about this gentleman is, is that he was just odd enough that you could get away with it and it would be as if it never happened.
Starting point is 00:33:17 But I did get many, and I say many more invites to come to the Purple Elephant or other strip clubs with him. It wasn't the first time or the last time I had gotten an invite. As a matter of fact, one Halloween, there was a, there's a strip club here called the Pink Pony. And the Pink Pony is legendary. It's like where everybody goes, right? I'm not every, there's other clubs that everybody goes to. The Gold Club used to be a huge famous until everyone learned it was run by John Gotti. And now it's like a club for hire.
Starting point is 00:33:49 You just like rent it out or whatever. We went to a party there one time with Scambadia. We did. So I ended up going to, Pink Pony 2 was another location that they opened. Right, well there was like the East and West one or so. It was in South. South, North and South one. So I ended up going to the South.
Starting point is 00:34:06 You and I went to that South one one time. Yeah, but we went for the grand opening, didn't we? On Halloween? It wasn't Halloween. This was just one night. Well, I went to one for Halloween, right? And it was like their grand opening, the grand opening week or whatever, and they had this big party and it was Halloween. And I went with a couple other people that we worked with. And he was there also, because of course he was, he had to be there. He's like, I don't know, like, who's somebody who's always showing up on the red carpet that, you know, maybe they shouldn't be showing up on the red carpet? I don't know, I can't think of anybody. But you know what I'm saying. Like, like Andy
Starting point is 00:34:40 Dick, you know, just shows up out of nowhere for no reason. And you're kind of like, well, he's famous, but should he be here? Probably not. So that was this guy, you know? Okay, he's strip club famous, but should he be here? Probably not. But he was there on Halloween, if I remember correctly, with his wife, and there was also an odd interaction there. And at the time, I was with one of our co-workers asked that coworker to kind of buddy up to me a little bit, like, get a little close, let's pretend so I don't have to deal with any weird questions or anything like that. And I remember that particular night evading any odd questions. But of course, when someone asks you, propositions you for a threesome
Starting point is 00:35:22 or whatever was intended, and then you just leave without saying anything you do an Irish goodbye, got to go to the bathroom and never come back. Maybe she got the hint, you know, maybe that was it. But you know, I guess if you throw it out enough though, you know, there's going to be some takers. I do believe that this is true. I do believe if you're a swinger, it's all about batting average. It is, yeah. It's like that John Anthony lifestyle has got a hundred percent closing rate or whatever. You know, if you're a swinger, you just don't know how many people are going to be receptive
Starting point is 00:35:57 to your conversation unless it comes up in conversation and they say they're receptive. So if you're out there cold calling dicks to come to bed with you, then it's really all about averages, isn't it? You got to approach enough people that someone says yes. It's like that Seeking Sister Wife that I'm watching right now. Oh, you're still watching that. Oh, God, it's just such a fascinating show. It's a fascinating show for one couple and one couple only. I mean, there are other couples that are fascinating, but there is, there's two couples I'm kind of fascinated with. One is that Garrick guy, who his wife is obviously and desperately
Starting point is 00:36:32 trying to keep his attention, keep him married. Nicole Soule-North That's the one you told me about how they flew down to the place with the younger girl and her mother was there. Jared Slauson Her mother showed up, okay. Now, so let me catch you up to speed just real quick. Nicole Soule-North Okay, yeah. Okay. Her mother showed up, okay? Now, so let me catch you up to speed just real quick. Okay, yeah, please. So, Garrick on this show is married to a beautiful, was married to a beautiful woman who agreed because it was God's plan. In quotations.
Starting point is 00:36:56 God told them, in quotations, God told them directly with His mouth, God's mouth, that they should have more wives. And she seems to be just going along with it, and Garrick is saying, you know, God told me one afternoon that I'm supposed to have multiple young, beautiful wives that don't speak my language. Right? And it's just was, it's so obvious to anybody that's watching this show that Garrick wants to get his dick wet, and this poor woman that he was married to is just going along with it because she loves Garrick. She thinks the world of Garrick and she doesn't want Garrick to leave. Well, guess what? After, on season number two or whatever it was
Starting point is 00:37:39 when we first got introduced to this couple, they got a divorce so he could legally marry his South American girlfriend and bring her back to the United States. That means she doesn't have rights to alimony, parental rights. I mean, so many reasons not to get a divorce, but she went along with it. She was crying at the divorce hearing and it was taped for TLC. I felt so bad for this girl. But at some point you gotta say, what's wrong with you? Get out! So, that relationship falls apart. Within a month, he's dating, virtually dating other beautiful young South American women. They pick one, they go down there. This woman is nothing like the other woman. She is like, really just paying attention to Garrick. The first woman, the first Latin American woman was at least into both of
Starting point is 00:38:30 them. And the ex-wife, now ex-wife, felt good that she really wanted to be in like a communal marriage. Right, a sisterhood. A sisterhood, a sister-wife. They call each other sister. It's so disturbing. Sister. Sisterhood, a sister wife. They call each other sister. It's so disturbing. Sister. I know some people don't like the word moist. I don't like when you say sister when you're referring to another adult woman that's not blood related. So anyway, or brother. It's just like, it's all a little bit disturbing. But anyway, so they go down there, they go to Mexico, they all meet in Mexico in this beautiful location, and Garrick's just desperately trying to get the ring on this woman's finger so he can get in bed with her.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Well, it doesn't happen the first trip, so guess what he does a month later? He takes off by himself to go back down to be with this woman, and he leaves for a fucking month. And during that time, Danielle, who is the ex-wife, finds out she's pregnant. What? Now, Garrick is running around South America trying to get a marriage license so that he can marry his young, beautiful, Latin American fiance. And he's not, he's barely talking to Danielle.
Starting point is 00:39:44 He's not telling her anything. And so Danielle says to the camera, I don't even think they want me down there. I don't think this woman wants me down there. Yeah, that's the way it seems. So she decides to get on a plane, flies down there. I know, so she decides to go down there, right? If it was me, I'd call a divorce attorney,
Starting point is 00:39:59 but nope, she goes down. They're also already divorced. Yes, they're divorced. They're not even married. It's, now listen, they're divorced. They're not even married. Now listen, I'm not saying marriage is right for everybody. The piece of paper doesn't mean a lot to any, to a lot of people. And that's perfectly okay. I don't care. It's 2024. No one gives a shit whether you're married or not. If you're together, you're together. If you're not, you're not. There's good reasons to have a marriage license. There's other reasons you should, right?
Starting point is 00:40:24 But if you have children and the life that you've built this entire time and the thing that's giving you legal cover is that marriage certificate, don't give it up. Don't give it up. But she did to please her fucking nudnik husband who uses God as an excuse to get more twing twang. And listen, I just got to say this, just have an open marriage. Just let him go fuck other people. This is not about God. This is about Garrick getting his fucking knocks off. Rocks off, yeah. So, where we ended it this last episode is that Garrick is trying to, the people down in, I can't remember the country, I think it's Brazil. The people down in Brazil found out that Garrick is trying to, the people down in, I can't remember the country, I think it's Brazil. The people down in Brazil found out that Garrick is on this TV show and they found
Starting point is 00:41:08 out that he has multiple wives and they denied him a marriage certificate because they said it's illegal to be married to two people. Picture in the stamp. Denied. Denied. That's not even a Spanish word, but I made it up and it sounds cool. And Danielle is now down there with him, has told them that she's pregnant, and you should have seen the look on this woman's face, the other woman, the Latin American woman, she was like, oh, shit. Like now it's not going to be about me and Garrick.
Starting point is 00:41:35 This woman is just, it seems, it appears, and also there's, this could be TV editing, you never know, right? But it appears that this woman just wants Garrick to herself. And Danielle is rightfully upset and worried and concerned. I don't know how these things work. I really don't. Beth Dombkowski Either of them. Jared Sienkiewicz Okay, but now let's circle back so this all makes sense in the conversation. The second couple that I'm interested in is a couple where the wife is encouraging. And when I say encouraging, I mean, get out there,
Starting point is 00:42:06 little buddy, like a soccer mom on Saturday afternoon. She's like, get out there, little buddy, get your dick wet. Time to go find some pussy. Come on, let's go. She's approaching other women on his behalf. He is like a child. I don't know how he survives in life, but he's like a child. He has to have everything done for him. She folds his clothes, she makes him want, you know, all this other stuff. And she goes and she finds chicks for him to fuck. It's really weird. So that's the other couple that I'm interested in because what we were just talking about, batting averages. She says the same thing. It's about batting averages. You got to get out there and talk to enough women that someone will eventually take you up on the offer. And I thought to myself, it's so much fucking work.
Starting point is 00:42:47 It's so much work for what? For an extremely jealous spouse that's gonna, clearly it's gonna blow up? These things don't work. You know how I know this? Look at the other fucking TLC show that's on sister wives. None of them are married anymore! All it took was nine years and it all fell apart for that guy. And God bless America because he's an asshole. So anyway, there's your TLC update.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Yeah, okay, good. Thank you. How are the little Johnsons? Little Johnsons are not interesting this year, I gotta say. It's like very formulaic. It's a little uninteresting. So I'm just kind of, I listen to it in the background. In the background, yeah. But I know that something interesting is coming because one of the little people, the little children, is pregnant with her average-sized boyfriend's child. Oh. And last we heard, they had broken up. And now, this episode coming up, they have to tell her parents that she's pregnant. And I just
Starting point is 00:43:47 can't wait to see how that goes. And they're broken up. They quote unquote were broken up. But obviously they weren't broken up because he's fucking her and she got pregnant. That's the other thing. Is it like, is anybody worried you're going to get pregnant or STDs or like, does anybody, is anybody thinking about this? Now, if I was to say yes to the pony threesome, or the elephant, the, you know, purple elephant threesome, I wouldn't be so concerned because I think that woman was probably out of birthing age.
Starting point is 00:44:14 But is anybody concerned about what's going to happen with all of this? Yeah, you should take precautions. Then again, they're on a TV show. So, what's the fun in that? Yeah, if you get a... What's the fun in precautions? Yeah, that's true. And if you get pregnant, that's just a spin-off show. My seven little threesome Johnstons.
Starting point is 00:44:33 And that's a show I'll tune into for fucking sure. 100%. You know I got your back, TLC, go for it. You keep sending the United States down some morality fucking pitfall and I'll follow you right behind going yeah TLC the Jerry Springer of channels I'm gonna keep riding the echo horse Go go, MILF MANNER. Yeah, we need more MILF MANNER where you fuck your son or whatever it is That was bad. It's on for season two Yeah, we need more MILF Manor where you fuck your son or whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:45:05 That was bad. It's on for season two. Oh, it is. Who's watching this? Fuck you. If you're watching MILF Manor, turn off my show. I'm not interested in knowing you. That's too far.
Starting point is 00:45:17 You took it too far, TLC. My seven little threesome Johnsons, I'll take that all day long. But MILF Manor where you're fucking your best friend's son, that is weird. That's just weird. All right, we'll be back. Perfect, thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB? Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story, or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. And don't forget to check out tcbpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous
Starting point is 00:46:05 sponsors and get back to the commercial break. Okay. Excuse me. Jeez. Excuse you. I'm gonna need a cough in your ear, everybody. I really apologize. I wanted to ask you, have you been keeping up with like the Madonna concert? A little bit. Drama. I've heard a little bit about her coming on late, right?
Starting point is 00:46:35 There's like a class action lawsuit. Oh. By people. Wow. Saying that they misled them. You know, the show was, the ticket show was eight o'clock and she didn't start till midnight or whatever it was. That lady is notoriously fucking late. The show was, the ticket show was eight o'clock and she didn't start till midnight or whatever it was.
Starting point is 00:46:45 That lady is notoriously fucking late to every show. It's insane. And I got to say, I think I'm on the side of the ticket holder here. Like I know Madonna's older. She got to get prepared. She's got to do her vocal training. But do you even think it takes four hours to do your vocal warmups? I mean, you've been doing this for-
Starting point is 00:47:01 We'll plan ahead. Yeah. Like, okay, get started at three o'clock in the afternoon instead of nine o'clock at night for your show. I know. Well, speaking of, you know, we just did the Riverbeat Music Festival, jumped in, and the Fugees were there, Lauryn Hill. Oh, tell me about this.
Starting point is 00:47:15 So we were all thinking, you know, what, how late is it going to be? What's going to happen? She was prompt. Blah, blah, blah. 20 minutes after. 20 minutes late. Yeah, yeah. Not bad. No. I could. That's perfectly expected.
Starting point is 00:47:26 I go to any concert. Yeah. The only concert that I've ever been to where it started exactly on time, Taylor Swift. That's the only show because they have a big fucking countdown clock. So you can't do late. It's part of the show. Right. Plus, Taylor knows what's doing. She's got to make the next show. She wants some sleep. She's got to get it. Let's do it. Let's get it over with.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Let's go to the next show. And that's professionalism at the highest order. Because when you have, like where we were in LA, when you have, I don't know, 80,000 people sitting there waiting for you and they're all getting wound up about seeing you, you need to be on time because that energy's got to go somewhere. And it can turn real fucking quick. And you don't want a bunch of 12 year old girls trampling themselves or getting, 12 year old girls first of all, they can't be out till three in the morning. You know what I'm saying? Their parents brought them there.
Starting point is 00:48:14 They went there by, they got dropped off or whatever. You got to be prompt. Be respectful of your audience, who they are. And she was. Astrid dragged me to that fucking, who are those guys? The Jonas Brothers? She dragged me to that Jonas, who are those guys? The Jonas Brothers? She dragged me to that Jonas Brothers show. They were on time, I gotta say. Yeah, like it's courtesy to the people who paid money to go see you.
Starting point is 00:48:33 Thank you. I go to like, I don't know, you go to a fish show or a Pearl Jam show or, you know, whoever, you know, music midtown, shaky knees, whatever you're going to. A festival like that, you gotta be proud. They're on a schedule. Yeah. You're on a schedule. Yeah, you're on a schedule. And you can get fined big money or lose big money if you're not on that schedule. So in that sense, I think there's a lot of pressure
Starting point is 00:48:53 to get you there on time and cut off the set on time and all that. But I fully expect there's going to be an hour delay from the ticket time. Ticket time says eight, I expect they're going on at nine. And I know that, it's built into my brain. Midnight, not built into my brain. One o'clock in the morning, that's fucking insane. If you're starting going on at one o'clock in the morning, she's going out at like midnight, like 1145. I think I
Starting point is 00:49:15 read somewhere she went on at one in the morning, but I believe that was the concert in Rio de Janeiro. Did you see that? She gave a free concert on the beach at Copacabana Beach. She gave a free concert there with the help of the city or Rio de Janeiro, whatever. One million people showed up. One million. Now I know if you're gonna do it in any city and get a million people to show up,
Starting point is 00:49:42 it's gonna be Rio de Janeiro because there's like 600 million people that live in that one city. But that's fucking insane. A million people come to see you, and I can't imagine how big your head must be after that. You're like, holy shit, I just got a million people to show up to my front door and listen to me perform.
Starting point is 00:50:00 And hence, now that's why she doesn't care about being late. I think that's it. I think she knows that people who like her... She's like, I'm gonna do what I wanna do. People who like her, they love her so much that I think she can get away with basically murder, right? I think that's kind of true. But I still believe that you need to be somewhat respectful of the audience. I agree.
Starting point is 00:50:20 An hour late, okay, we get it. You're back there doing whatever. You gotta meet and greet celebrities. You gotta do your vocal warm- yoga, tantric sex get it. You're back there doing whatever. You got to meet and greet celebrities. You got to do your vocal warm-up, yoga, tantric sex, whatever Madonna's doing back there. But you got to show up within a relatively decent amount of time. And these people who bring in this class action lawsuit say we had babysitters, we had plans, we have work the next day.
Starting point is 00:50:38 We cannot be out until three in the morning because you decide- Are they bringing the lawsuit against like Ticketmaster or just everybody? There's an old saying, when you sue, sue everyone, right? So when you sue, you sue anybody you think could ever be potentially liable for this happening. So it's like management, Ticketmaster, LiveNate, whatever it is. And Madonna herself, of course. And so, I don't know, I'm interested to see how this one plays out. Because I think if I'm a juror, I'm saying, yeah, get your point. Now, I'm not going to award you $200 million because Madonna was late by an hour, two, three, four,
Starting point is 00:51:12 but I'll give you your money back, a couple thousand dollars for the inconvenience, but enough of those people get together and do that, then that's a big deal. And you get a judgment. That would be industry changing. Yeah, I think so. And now, speaking of industry changing, Congress is looking into Live Nation and Ticketmaster as monopolies. And I think this time has come, we did this back in the 90s, Pearl Jam was the only band that would publicly say Ticketmaster is a monopoly and they are bad for live entertainment.master is a monopoly and they are bad for live entertainment. They took a stance, they went up to Congress, they talked about it back when Pearl Jam was like the number one band in the world. And everybody said,
Starting point is 00:51:57 you're never going to play this town again without Ticketmaster. What are you doing? Why are you standing out? And the truth is they lost that battle because three years later they were back with Ticketmaster because that's the way that Ticketmaster monopolizes this industry and charges ridiculous fees and makes you wait in line, then resells tickets for thousands of dollars more than they should have originally been for. Now they have this surge pricing or whatever it is. Yeah. It's all insanity, right? They're trying to act like concert tickets are airplane tickets and, you know, the more demand, the higher you should pay,
Starting point is 00:52:28 which I get it, you know, supply and demand, but it really ruins it for everybody who is not in the upper middle class or millionaires. The divide between the have and the have nots gets further. And Ticketmaster is one of the companies that is putting a wedge in between those. Kids want to go see music. Adults want to go see, everybody wants to go see live music. It's one of those things. And the truth is, is that live music in 2024 is starting to take a little bit of a hit. Not as many concerts are being sold out. Many people are having to cancel shows because of poor ticket sales, because I think people are sick of it. It was all fun and
Starting point is 00:53:02 games and shits and giggles in 2022 and 2023 when all that pent up demand was there. But now people are like, I don't know if I wanna go pay $78 to go see the commercial break at some comedy club. Do you know what I'm saying? Are we gonna use Ticketmaster, do you think? I think we have to. Or maybe not anymore, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:53:22 I think that's part of the gig. I don't think we have, I think it's Live Nation. I don't think we have any other choice. I don't know that for sure. But I believe having done some research about a few of these clubs that we would play, that's part of the gig. That's who you pay. But I would love it if you could just go to the Comedy Club website, buy it directly, and then save everybody everybody the, save your $50 in ticketing fees. I mean, what could we possibly charge? Five, 10, 20, $30 for a ticket? I think $30. Nicole Soule-Nagant I mean, we might have to pay. Jared Slauson Well, we're going to pay in some way,
Starting point is 00:53:57 shape or form. Perverbially or actually, we're going to pay in some way, shape or form. That's for sure. But I mean, how much could we charge? $30 a ticket? Okay, that sounds reasonable. $30 a ticket for a couple hours of, you know, lowbrow entertainment. 30 bucks, sounds like a great price for me. Dial me in, keep me posted.
Starting point is 00:54:22 But then you add on all the service fees, and it ends up being $70 fucking dollars. I mean, if you're using one of the big ticket brokerages, right, like ticket masks, and that's what they are. They're just brokers. They're just in the middle between you and I, and they have the technology and the platforms to make that work. And I applaud them for making that technology so good, because it is so good. But when you charge exorbitant fees and
Starting point is 00:54:43 drive ticket prices higher higher because of manipulative practices, it makes everybody dislike the experience. So your wonderful technology really gets overshadowed by the fact that you're highway robbing everybody by the time they get to the continue screen pressing a payment. It's ridiculous. And so now that Congress is looking into this, I really hope that they can do something about this. I don't know what it is. Break up the companies, allow for other companies to get in and use technology for a fee or whatever it happens to
Starting point is 00:55:15 be. I think they need to do something about it. And I saw a meme the other day and I thought it was great. It said Congress is looking into Ticketmaster and Live Nation. And it was like a, you know, congressman or whatever, you know, like this. And then on the bottom, it was one of the guys from Pearl Jam. And it's like, Pearl Jam be here like, and the guy had his hands like, huh? What took you so long? And I agree with that. I think it needs to, I think things need to change for sure. I agree with you, agree. Jeff uses Live Nation and Ticketmaster because he has to, right?
Starting point is 00:55:49 Yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing. Yeah, you kind of have to. There's a lot of different companies too that fall under the umbrella of Ticketmaster. So yeah. I knew, I'll tell a story because I always do. Storytime with Brian. Everybody calm down, get your chai tea. Get your chai tea and let's have
Starting point is 00:56:06 a conversation. When I was a teenager, I met a guy at a restaurant and he owned what is now one of the very popular, visible ticket brokerages. We're talking about places like StubHub, Tix, you know, those places that resell tickets. And he owned it, and it was a little shop here in Atlanta, office in Buckhead, and they would basically broker any popular tickets across the nation, but they were really focused on what was happening here in Atlanta. So here's how it worked. He would pay people to go stand in line, because that's when you had to stand in line, or pick up the phone and call, use his credit card to buy tickets, and they would get a payment
Starting point is 00:56:50 for doing that. They would get whatever it was, let's just call it $10 an hour, for however long it took them, or a flat fee, $50 a ticket, $20 a ticket. They would bring the tickets back, and he would send out, you know, 50, 60 scalpers to go out and stand in line. And it was expected, yay, it was anticipated that these brokers would have a certain amount of the business. Let's call it two or 3% of the tickets in the room would be owned by brokers. They would then resell those tickets. At that time, you would actually have to call them, ask them if they had these tickets available or they could get these tickets, and they had a network
Starting point is 00:57:26 of other brokers around the country and you could get tickets to them. And they would charge you whatever the going rate was. But it was never, and I mean never, not in all the years I knew this guy, it was never more than 100% of the ticket value unless it was like the Super Bowl or, you know, the National College Football Championship or whatever. This guy made lots of money. And in my opinion, he was a stand up dude. He was just found a way to make a little extra cash for rich people who really wanted to
Starting point is 00:57:58 pay extra to go see the concert. That was it, right? And then of course, there were the scalpers on the streets who would sell the tickets that they had bought and all this other stuff to make a couple bucks. That's always been going on. Ticketmaster and Live Nation have now in, I guess, made this into an industrial practice. And now Ticketmaster is one of the largest brokerages out there. I know, I know. It's so crazy to think about that.
Starting point is 00:58:24 The secret about all of this for you out there. I know, it's so crazy to think about that. The secret about all of this for you out there listening that may not know this, is that artists will often be in cahoots with Ticketmaster and Live Nation, and they will share, they will dedicate a portion of their tickets for what they call resale. Here's how it goes.
Starting point is 00:58:43 In the contract, I'm just going to use Toby Keith as an example. I don't know that he does this, but let's say Toby Keith. Toby Keith signs a contract with a promoter that's going to pay him to do a show. And in that contract, the promoter gives Toby Keith 2000 of the 70,000 tickets available, or 10,000 of the 70,000 tickets available, whatever it is. And Toby Keith then sells those tickets right back to Live Nation, where Live Nation, or Ticketmaster, will put them on their open brokerage site. We've all seen it, official certified resale tickets in the red dot. And then they're 180, 200, 300% more than the other tickets around them. But because the show is getting sold out and he has the really good tickets, they resell
Starting point is 00:59:30 them, then they give a cut, they sell them on consignment, they give a cut back to the artist. That is the sad and terrible truth of this, is that the artists are also now in on the game. And my belief is not because they necessarily want to be, of course that's more money in their pocket, but because they have to be. That's the way the game is played. You want to maximize how much money you take out instead of playing a really good show
Starting point is 00:59:52 at a reasonable price and making $100,000 in a night. I can make $180,000 in a night if I just sell some of my tickets back. And that's what happens time and time again. And if you're not the, if you were the only one do it, I'm not saying Toby Keith does this, I have no fucking clue. But if Toby Keith is the only one doing this, then we can point to Toby Keith and say, you're the bad guy. But he's not, almost everybody does it
Starting point is 01:00:19 because that's part and parcel of the promoter game right now. This drives tickets artificially through the roof, and now with surge pricing, it drives them up even further. And that's why people are paying $25,000 to sit in the nosebleed seats at a Taylor Swift show. It's fucking insane. It's fucking insane.
Starting point is 01:00:38 And I understand Taylor can only play so many shows and there's many more people that want to see them than seats available. I get all that. And I'm not saying Taylor does this either. I have no idea. But it's all a part of artificially inflating the value of the tickets. And that's why you pay so much fucking money to see a live show these days. And everything from the comedy clubs to the biggest of the Taylor Swift events are handled by Live Nation or Ticketmaster. It's one of the few that have the technology and the ability to handle the traffic and get people in seats in a way that makes sense.
Starting point is 01:01:11 But with those two companies working together to corner the market, 99% of the venues are booked and sold by them. Yep. Oh, by the way, all dirty little secret number three, Ticketmaster and Live Nation are often the promoters of the show. They promote it, they manage it, they make the money, they resell the tickets, they give you ticket fees. I don't even know. I'm proud and everything, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:38 So here's what I'm saying. All I'm saying is tickets on sale soon to our live shows. $30,000 a pop, 40 seats available at Yuckles Comedy Club. Old Yuckle. In Jacksonville, Florida. Can't wait to see you. Storytime with Brian. Storytime with Brian. I love that guy. Bill. Bill was his name. I loved him. I loved him. Is it past tense? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Well, now he's dead. He moved. Oh. He sold the company, like a lot of, he sold the company to a larger ticket broker. Probably Ticketmaster. I know who it was. I'm not going to say it, but yes, essentially, somewhere along the line, Ticketmaster probably was involved.
Starting point is 01:02:17 I'm not 100% sure, but yeah. Yeah. But Bill moved. Yeah. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, I'm not gonna say it, but yes, essentially, somewhere along the line, Ticketmaster probably was involved,
Starting point is 01:02:26 I'm not 100% sure, but yeah. But Bill moved to California when he did, I kinda lost touch with him. Yeah, good for him. Yeah, but man, did he get me a lot of good concert tickets. I bet he did. Yes, he did. He was your guy.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Yeah, he would oftentimes just give me free tickets to the shows that weren't selling, you know, the shitty shows that no one wanted to go see, I'd have a ticket, he'd give them to tickets to the shows that weren't selling. Yeah. You know, the shitty shows and everyone wanted to go see. I'd have a ticket. He'd give them to me across the bar. But a few times he got me into some really good shows in really good seats for almost nothing. It was like...
Starting point is 01:02:54 Nice. He was such a good guy. Such a good guy. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. All right. TCBpodcast.com. That's where you go. You find out more information about Chrissy and I, all the show notes, all the links to
Starting point is 01:03:05 our guests. Thanks. Mo Gilligan, this week's guests. Go check him out. Uh, Tuesday's episode. We love it. If you would give him some love and support, even though he doesn't need it, he's blowing up everywhere.
Starting point is 01:03:14 So good for Mo. I love Mo. Don't say no to Mo. Got to go. Okay. Uh, or you can get your free TCB bumper sticker by going to the contact us page on the website dropdown menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address and away we will send it. Or you can get your free TCB bumper sticker by going to the contact us page on the website drop down menu I want my free sticker give us your address and away. We will send it most importantly 2 1 2
Starting point is 01:03:31 4 3 3 3 TCB. That's 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 8 2 2 Text us let us know how you're feeling ask us a question talk about the show You want to come to one of our live events in the southeast? Let us know you'd like to come and where you're at, because we would love to, you know, we're gonna tour every city in the entire southeast. So eventually we'll get there just to pay our ticket master fees. Yeah. So dial that up. 212-433-3TCB.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, all that stuff. You know how to do it at the Commercial Break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok TikTok and youtube.com slash the commercial break. All right. Well, Chrissy, what an eventful episode of the TCB. I mean, that's the best of the best. I can't get any better than that. All right.
Starting point is 01:04:21 So I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I will say best to you. Best to you. And I'll tell you best to you out. I love you. I will say best to you. Best to you. And I'll tell you best to you out there on the podcast universe. We just love you to death. So until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. I get ass!

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