The Commercial Break - Hot, Hard Axe of The Thunder Brothers!

Episode Date: March 21, 2025

Episode #717: Bryan & Krissy return to the Mountain Monsters well for another action packed episode of grown men running around the woods pretending to be doing something! This time the boys count down their Top 5 chases of all time. It's part one of a two part MM breakdown. Join Bryan, Krissy, Chuck, Huck and Buck as they scream their way through hilarity. TCBit: WSHIT's consumer reporter Darlene Stinkhand gives advice to the citizens of Crabapple on how to weather the economic storm. Watch EP #717 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits: Written, Performed and Edited by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And it's 15 after the hour here in the Rod Cunningham Diesel Depot Studio, a check of traffic and weather right around the corner. But first, let's check on the markets. They're doing terribly and Crab Appliance are obviously concerned about the economy. WSHIT's consumer reporter Darlene Stinkhand has a few pieces of advice for those getting the jitters around the economy. The first thing on her list? Invest heavily in meme coin.

She explains that meme coin is a low risk, almost guaranteed return. Her second piece of advice? Pick up a second career. She explains that those signs on telephone poles where you can make $5,000 to $7,000 a week working from home are often true, and most people just drive by them. She encourages listeners to go ahead and make that phone call and follow through. Some other advice from Darlene was

to join your friend's MLM company. She explained that any company that makes you buy thousands of dollars worth of product you probably can't sell is a surefire bet to make millions and millions of dollars in extra income. We were lucky enough to catch up with Darlene in the studio earlier, and here's some other advice she had for the listeners.

If you save your money, you can get stuff like a new living suit. It takes about a year to save up $3,000. I'm gonna get a new bedroom set. Yay! With lights on it. I hope I can be able to get it. Amen to that. And finally, Darlene expressed that most people miss an opportunity to become millionaires

by simply not attending those weekend real estate seminars. She shared that two days worth of your time and thousands of dollars in coaching services you'll never use was an opportunity to build a solid foundation of real estate knowledge and become the next billionaire tycoon. Darlene will be back at the top of the hour to share some more wisdom. We'll be back after this commercial break.

I'm going to get a new bedroom shit. Yay. On this episode of the Commercial Break. What? This sounds really complicated for a mythological dum-dum creature. Like for a walking ape? Really? The trap is set. The Thunder Axe is in the security box.

Now we have to back off and let the Lightning Man do his part. Fall into the trap? We have to leave that Thunder Axe here and we have to back off and let the Lightning Man do his part. Alright, as much as I hate to do this guys... Fall into the trap? We have to leave that Thunder Axe here and we have to back out. Yeah. As much as I hate to do this, we gotta let Thunder Man stick his hot loins in there and then when he does, he will jizz lightning and we will all become all powerful! All mythological creatures will bow to our will.

We have the thunder axe. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Ah, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris and... Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe and happy day after the spring equinox.

Ooh, the vernal. The vernal. The venereal equinox, as I like to call it. It's when my syphilis flares up every year around this time. Ah! Large robot! I got a large robot penis. Oh yes the spring equinox when the technically

when the sun rays are directly over the equator and then it moves to the, then it moves to start shining on the northern hemisphere just a little bit more than it has before. That's why it's 31 degrees in Atlanta. Welcome to spring. I know, it's been like 75.

God, let it go. I know. We don't talk about the weather. This is like a weather-related show at this point. I know. That's all we talk about is how miserable we are about the weather. It's too hot, it's too cold, the pollen's out, the sun is out. I don't know. But one of my kids was very excited about the spring equinox. He was like, it's the first day of spring, dad. And I was like, yeah, I'm still wiping your ass. What's going on there? Maybe this is the first day of not wiping your ass. How's that? Because the older you get, the more manly your shit gets, the more I get disgusted. The other day I had to call Astrid. I was like, Astrid,

I need your help on this one. I cannot deal with the smell. It is a man smell. Yes. Meanwhile, all 13 children are still visiting me in the morning in the tiny little, you know, cabinet that I have. Yeah, the water closet or whatever you call it. They all come in, they file in, they talk to me. And I'm just like half asleep. I'm like, okay guys, can I have a moment alone? Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. They don't have noses, I don't think.

I don't think smelling starts until you're like 20. I'm not sure what's going on there It's awful. It's terrible and I remember my father I mean we all remember our father's ass am I right or am I right? I don't you don't know You don't remember your father's ass. I mean not like you know what I'm saying This stuff smell of his ass not his actual ass no the door was shut And I knew I didn't want to go in there the door was shut, but that doesn't mean I wasn't able to smell my father's shit. I mean, for God's sake.

My mom was always sneaking around the house, I think, pooping when people weren't there. She was of that ilk where a lady never let her smell be known. Right. There is that smell. Thy lady shall never let thy poop be known. Thy shall keep her asshole clean and tidy. But my dad, you know, you got to talk to your dad sometimes. And sometimes when you had a father that was very busy, like mine, traveling a lot, you know, sometimes dad

would call us when he had a water closet too. The door's always closed, but it was in this larger bathroom. And sometimes in the morning, Brian, I'd be like, Oh no, no, done, done, done, done. I can hear you from here, dad. It's good. I'm cool. Get in there. No, because that would burn the nose hairs right off you.

I mean, my dad's a hearty guy from Chicago. He's not some, you know, diminutive little flower eater. That's not what he does. He doesn't eat roses for breakfast. He has like bacon, eggs, pot roast. I don't know what they eat in Chicago, you know, whatever they were eating, but he's a meat eater.

And so, but the other day, my son, he can, one one of my sons he can wipe his own ass that he can do that Yeah, but sometimes you like to go in there for the double check. You know what I'm saying? You got to go in there for the double check I don't think I learned how to properly wipe my ass while I was like 14 years old and then maybe even not then like It's a complicated procedure and you got to get it right and it takes a long time to get to know your ass I mean, I'm just speaking truthfully here. Sorry if I'm disturbing your breakfast, but then, you know, daddy, I'm done. You know, I'm like, okay, let me come.

And I just walked in and walked right out. And I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, Astrid. He's like, what's wrong? And I'm like, nothing, don't worry about it. You're all good. It's all human. It's all there. One of my kids came in the other day.

I picked him up from school and he was telling in the other day. I picked him up from school and he was telling me about his day. And he says, during a movie, we were watching a movie today. And during the movie, I had to fart. And he goes, so I farted and it was really loud. And I go, oh, I was kind of laughing about it.

You know, like, oh, that's a little embarrassing, but everybody farts. You can't hold it in. You're gonna ruin your stomach if you hold it in. Just say, excuse me, you know, of laughing about it. You know, like, oh, that's a little embarrassing, but everybody farts, you can't hold it in, you're gonna ruin your stomach if you hold it in. Just say, excuse me, when you're done. And I go, did all the kids go, ew? And he goes, no, only two of my friends. And I go, well, why did they go, ew?

And he goes, because they really don't like my farts. And I was like, well, who does? The other part of the class? Is it the other part of the class that does? I'm not sure, I don't know how that works. It's been a long time since I've been at school. Well, speaking of though, I was wondering when you said you went to go pick him up, have you encountered any blowback or anything from the tail of you and the construction

workers? Oh, that was a different school. So we have so many kids that they all go to different schools and they're all in different grades and different schools have different grades and all this. No, actually, when I went to the school, well, you know, and I know now that at all the places that I go, the cat's just out of the bag. And certainly at Starbucks, the cat is way out of the bag because for the first time in 10 years, nine years of going there, someone said something to me directly. They asked me directly if I was in fact, that guy from the commercial break.

And I wanted to crawl. I wanted to die inside of a hole. I was like, ah, this is the one place where no one. I mean, the one, I mean, anywhere else in the world, besides the places that I know people that you're not gonna know about the commercial break, but the place that I go to, eventually curiosity kills the cat and they're trying to figure out what does that guy do? But no one has ever asked me directly, what do you do? So anyway, so everybody at this school

where this tree incident happened, these tree guys incidents happened, the tree incident. It was an incident. It was an incident and it felt aggressive and scary, and especially when you have children in the back of the car. And these guys were just young and dumb and full of stupid energy. And again, we probably all could have handled it a little bit better, but in the moment, I just wanted to go.

Like, I just wanted to get out of the energy because, you know, in this day and age, you never know how quickly that energy can turn into violence. It's just people are so fucking on edge, all of us. I'm not saying that that's everybody else and not me. Me too, everybody's so on edge and we see so much crazy shit happening that at any given moment, things can just snap

and then you can't take it back. But anyway, so I go, the principal of the school, you know, the way that the cars line up, she comes by and she clicks a button to say, okay, these kids need to be brought out so that they can be picked up or whatever. And we're friendly. And so she's, we're talking and I, and I said, oh, the tree guys aren't here today. And she goes, oh, those tree guys, they were awful.

And I go, oh, really tree guys, they were awful. And I go, oh, really? Did you see what happened to me? Cause I assume she did. Cause it was that everyone is yelling and screaming and it's not very far away from every, where all the other parents and teachers were standing. And she goes, no, what happened? So I tell her the story and she's like, oh my gosh, those guys were awful.

They, they wouldn't stop doing the trees while the keys were outside and the wood chips are going everywhere and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, and I had to ask them multiple times and they still didn't listen to me. I am filing a complaint for them. And now I'm going to file a complaint on this too, because this is ridiculous. I'm going to talk to them.

And I said, yeah. That was bad coordination on whoever did that. Like straight out of a movie. to talk to them. Yeah. That was bad coordination on whoever did that. Like straight out of a movie, I swear to God this happens next. There's like two parking lots, one that you drive through and then as you're driving to get to the front of the school, there's another side parking lot for a forest preserve, which is what I think they were cutting the trees down for, the forest preserve. But it's this tiny little forest preserve, but there's a parking lot there, small parking lot.

And so I'm sitting there waiting to go and talking to her and out of the side of my eye, I see a big truck pull up to park right in, like the car is facing the side of my car now, my passenger side in that extra parking lot. And guess who pulls up? The Tree Company. The Tree Company with the Tree guys. Now, only one of the guys, of the two guys that was involved in the incident, and the less aggr- I'd say the less aggressive one, they were both pretty fucking aggressive. But the less aggressive one is there and it appears they're there with a supervisor because they're walking around and the supervisor is like pointing out these things or whatever.

You know, you can tell he's just kind of like directing the charge. I don't think they noticed me, but I'll tell you what, it was crazy because as we were talking about it, they pulled up. And I was like, oh my God, here we go again. But luckily nothing happened. And it was just like, the whole thing was just so stupid.

Come on, guys, what are you doing throwing cones at cars with kids in it and yelling and screaming and not paying attention? Just come on, the whole world is fucking on fire right now. And it just, you can really sense the stress out there. When you're driving, everyone's driving aggressively. When you're at a place, you're just looking for the person that's gonna pop and someone's inevitably ready to pop. People you're at a place, you're just looking for the person that's going to pop and someone's inevitably ready

to pop, people are yelling at each other. It's just all so much. Like, rev down, chill out. I know the world's on fire and everything's broken and it's getting more broken by the day. I get that. But we're going to, some of us are going to survive. We're going to, I guess.

I don't know. Some of us are going to survive. We're gonna, I guess. I don't know. Some of us are gonna survive. It's gonna be okay. I don't know. I don't know how, I don't know when, I don't know where. But some normalcy will return. It always does. And we're just having a little bit of an upheaval right now. But we can't kill each other.

That's what they want us to do. They want us to be at each other's throats because then we're distracted and they can plunder. They can plunder while we're distracted fighting with each other over fucking cones in a parking lot. Honestly, it's so fucking ridiculous. So I go to Starbucks the other day.

So let me finish the Starbucks story. So I go to Starbucks the other day and I told you that I had suspected that one of the girls had figured it out. I put two and two together. It's just some things that she said to me indicated to me that she in fact knew that I had the podcast and she knew which podcast it was. But she didn't go directly at it.

She didn't tell me that directly. And so I thought to myself, okay, well she's gonna keep my secret here. And I know, and I like this girl. I know she doesn't seem like the talker in the group. So I think, okay, all right, well my secret's safe don't, and she's not gonna be asking me every day. She's probably definitely not listening to the show. At least I don't imagine she is.

She's young and has a life, and she doesn't have time for all this. But then there's a new guy there. And the new guy the other day, he's like, I'm checking out and he already knows me. He's already saying hi, Brian, and all that. He already knows my drink. He's only been there for like three weeks,

but he's on the ball. I like this kid, he's gonna fit right in. So he's gonna go far in this Starbucks. He's gonna go far in Starbucks, making my coffee before I even walk in the door. I like this kid, he's a winner. I can pick one that goes the distance. He's gonna go the distance.

So he says, yeah, man, so what do you do? You work from home? And I go, uh, yeah, yeah, I work from home. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think, I think I know what you do. And I was like, you do? And he goes, I think, what do you do? And I go, tell me what you think. Yeah, well, that's what I said. I go, well, why don't you go first? And then I'll confirm or deny based on it. And he goes, well, that's what I said. I go, well, why don't you go first and then I'll confirm or deny based on it. And he goes, well, there's a little rumor going around that you have a podcast and it's called

like the commercial break or something like that. And I go, oh, okay. And he goes, is that what you do? Is that true? And I go, listen, come here, you little fuck. Lean in close. I don't want anyone knowing exactly what I do. It's a family thing, okay?

You got it? Don't tell anybody. Don't tell anybody. I actually says this to him. I go, hey, listen. I go, yes, okay? The truth is yes. It took me like 30 seconds to say yes.

Because I was like, I don't know what to do here. I really don't want this secret out, but he's already got my number. I can't say no. and then all he has to do is look up the fucking picture on the goddamn front of the podcast page. So I go, listen, yes, but honestly, I kind of like coming to Starbucks, where I think that nobody knows what I do.

Not because I'm famous or anything like that, but because it's a little safe harbor from some of the stupid shit I might say on the fucking podcast. I don't want to have to answer, you know, I don't want to answer every question about every fucking thing that I say. I am one of these guys, this is why I do a podcast and not stand up comedy. First of all, not funny. Second of all, could never just travel like that.

I have too many kids to, my wife would never let that happen. But third of all, I don't like the instant reaction about what I'm saying. I'd much prefer just go out there and you guys have a reaction in your own personal private space and I'll have my own reaction here. You know what I'm saying? And so I don't like the idea of having to answer for everything that I say on the show this morning. Like where people are following up with you on some of the things. So you said this about Ariana Grande, but that's actually not true. Okay. Right. If I opened my mouth, it's probably not true. So let's just get that point across first.

Yeah, you don't want fact checking going on, don't you? No! We tried that, it didn't work. That didn't work very well. We tried a fact checker. They checked too many facts. They were too aggressively checking my facts. I didn't care for that.

So yeah, so the cat's out of the bag at the Starbucks. And what are you going to do? And it's spring equinox, so we're all just muddling through. I guess that's what happens. And then I read, there are some things, believe it or not, that I agree with with this current administration. And one of the things that at least was like tweeted about or tweeted or twatted or truth or whatever the fuck is going on, X'd, I don't know, is that let's

get rid of this time clock changing thing. And I couldn't be more in agreement with that sentiment. However, that is until I learned that our good friend Donald Trump doesn't want us to have more sunlight. He wants us to have less sunlight. He thinks the clock should stay backwards and not forward, which is the original time, which is the original time. But, but most people like it, right? Yes. More sunlight at night. Don't you want to be at the lake at 730, 8 o'clock at night with an extra hour of sunlight left or at the ocean or whatever it is you do wherever it is

you do. I spent time in Costa Rica, close to the equator in case you're checking a map geographically it's a little closer than I am right now. I spent time in Costa Rica and it's 12 on, 12 off, no matter the time of year, almost. There's little changes, but it's much closer to even Stevens, if you know what I mean. I like that. 12 on, 12 off. You think you like it,

but the sun comes up at like 5.30 and six in the morning, and then it goes down at 5.36 at night. I don't like that. I don't want the sun to go down at 5.36 at night. No, I agree. Besides putting my kids to bed, there is no downside in my opinion to having it be light out at eight o'clock at night.

It just, and I know that then it stays a little darker, a little longer, and it's dangerous for the kids and the bus. I don't care about the kids with the bus. I wanna have an ice cream in an outdoor mall when it's light outside, okay? I don't give a shit. I think most people agree with that, or at least the people I've talked to. want to have an ice cream in an outdoor mall when it's light outside. Okay. Yeah. I think most people agree with that, or at least the people I've talked to.

Sane people agree with that, but insane people want to give us less sunlight. They want to give us more sunlight at three in the morning when no one's fucking awake and then everyone has to wake up earlier because the fucking chickens and all that bullshit. And then we don't get that sunlight at the end of the day. Can't you give us a fucking break? Yeah, again, I don't feel like it's a big deal too, because even though it's darker, longer in the mornings, if it's warm outside, what, that doesn't.

Then if it's cold, it's freezing. If it's freezing cold, oh, God. And dark in the morning, but that's not the case. I get it. But listen, going to work in school is never gonna be less miserable. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not gonna be less miserable because the sun is out. That's not gonna happen.

You might be a few degrees warmer on those rare circumstances where the sun comes up and warms it up enough for you to feel it, but let's admit it, it's not like the sun pops up and all of a sudden it's 72 degrees in the middle of January. It's not how it works. First of all, second of all, you're never gonna like going to work or school.

Never gonna happen. So it doesn't matter. Let's at least, this is what I'm trying to say to you, all you, all people who might agree with the clocks backwards. If we're gonna have extra sunlight, let it be during the times when we're not supposed to be at work.

When we're done. That's right. When time. Yes. When I was working 9 to 5, which was for about a year of my life, when I was working 9 to 5, there's nothing, nothing in the world that I loved more than to hit the whistle, you know, everybody's working for the weekend.

Woo woo. Woo woo. The 5 o'clock whistle, hit it, quit it, and go find a patio and sit there for a couple of hours with the sun shining on my face and drinking myself into oblivion. Because that's what Americans do because we're all fucking miserable. Okay, got it. So let's all get on the same page about this one. And I understand that Mr. Trump is easily persuadable in certain situations.

And I think we should all twat at him or x-t to him. I don't even know what we do anymore. Truth him, truthy social or whatever it is. Is that even still a thing, truth social? Yeah. That's what he puts all his messages out on. Yeah, that's what he puts all, you know, that's where he takes all the money under the table. Let us all agree and hit him up and let him know that the way we actually want it is things

to go forward, not backward, because it just doesn't make any sense. It makes no logical sense why you would want less sunlight at the end of the day when you're not working or at school. Let the kids have an extra hour of sunlight to play around. Let me have an extra hour of sunlight because I, that's just what I like. I don't even have working, we don't even have working hours here, but if we did, we'd want extra sunlight. And then the regular, you know, everybody else who works nine to five or whatever it is, let them have an extra hour of sunlight too. And let us not forget about the people who work the overnight shifts.

You know, if we're worried about the kids going to school without sunshine, standing out in the bus, waiting for the bus without sunshine, what about the dancers, the strippers that have to go to work at 8 o'clock at night? Are we not concerned about their safety also? We don't want them going to work in the dark? See, Brian's always thinking here. Possibly on a bus as well.

That's right. The short order cooks at Waffle House, the police officers, everyone who works that overnight shift starts at eight o'clock at night. And we don't want them to be unsafe either. So, you know, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

That's right. We learned about that here at the school of hard knocks in the commercial book. I have, it's Friday. I'm feeling a little squirrely. So I've decided to do something fantastic for the commercial break. It's Friday, I'm feeling a little squirrely, so I've decided to do something fantastic for the audience here, and this may be a two-parter we'll have to see.

I pulled down the five scariest mountain monsters chases in mountain monster history. It's a compilation video. I wish I could tell you to go watch it on YouTube, but it's 95% likely it's gonna get banned by Travel Channel or Discovery H Plus minus Max or whoever owns it. But we'll do our best. We'll do our best to get it up there. So, why don't we do this?

I know this is a little bit of a short segment. Let's take a break, and when we get back, we're gonna get right into it with some of our... some of our favorite guys. Huck, Buck, Chuck, everybody. Huck, Buck, Chuck, fuck, Huckleberry number four or five or whatever they're on. Let's take a break. with some of our favorite guys. Huck, Buck, Chuck, everybody. Huck, Buck, Chuck, Fuck, Huckleberry number four or five or whatever they're on.

Let's take a break. When we get back, we'll do some mountain monsters for you. What do you think? I like it. We'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast

can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at TCBpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors.

And then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break. Looking for the ultimate online casino experience? Step into the BetMGM Casino app, where every deal, spin, and goal brings Las Vegas excitement into the palm of your hand. Take your seat at Premium Blackjack Pro, where strategy meets top tier gameplay. Drop in on the exciting Sugar Rush and Crazy Time slot games, or play the dazzling MGM Grand Emerald Nights, a slot experience that captures the magic of MGM. With so many games, it's time to make your move.

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be joined by a rotating group of women's basketball experts to talk WNBA, college hoops, the new Unrivaled League, and the shifting landscape of the sport. The game is growing, and so are we. Listen to and follow the Women's Hoop Show and Odyssey podcast, available now for free on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. or wherever you get your podcast. Okay, man, has it been a long time since we've done a Mountain Monsters?

Yes, it has. I don't know, months at least. We probably haven't done any in 2020. Maybe we did one for the 12 days of TCB? We had to have. I think so. We'll probably do one for the 12 hours of TCB. Stay tuned.

OK, all right, so I'm just going to drop little hints here and there. But I think this one is coming together. I think this one we're definitely doing. Well, we have to now because we have people that are obligated to. We're obligated to have other obligations to have people do it.

But anyway, 12 hours of TCB. Chew on that one, and we'll give you more details in April. But Mountain Monsters, some of our favorite, this is one of my favorite comedy shows of all time, if I'm being real honest. The Mountain Monsters are a hilarious group of redneckersons that are out there chasing all kinds of monsters.

From the Whisper Wolves to the Pau Pau Poppers, yes, Skinny John Popper. They're chasing everybody, chasing these mythological creatures through West Kentucky, it seems like. And they made a compilation of the top five mountain monster chases or hunts, quote unquote.

Hunts, I love it. It started off, I mean, what was the premise that it originally started off as? Like big foot. Chasing big foot, yeah. Hunts. Hunts. I love it. Because it started off, I mean, what was the premise that it originally started off as? Like big foot. Chasing big foot. Big foot. Yeah.

Big foot. Big foot. We've been here for four hours and recorded a fucking thing. My mouse not working anymore. I mean, honestly, we've been here diddling around. I know. Some days it all comes together and some days it doesn't. It's that sun over the equator.

It's making my brain fry. It's the thought of having less sunlight that's driving me crazy. It really is. Okay, so Bigfoot, it started off with that and then just it's now anything. Yeah, it's now anything and everything and all kinds of made up shit

and cow killing bastards and everything. But Huck Chuck fucking Ron are back at it. The guy who yells too much. Bill? Bill. Yeah. Yeah, it's Bill. It's Billy. Billy. Yeah. What did you do to that one? Go, go! They didn't see it being, they got it, they didn't get down, goddamn! All right, cool. I guess- He literally does yell everything. Oh, he does. Their level of excitement on the cutaways gets very intense. Okay, here we are. Let's count down the top five. And we'll get started now.

As soon as I press play. Number five. Another 50 yards and go up. Oh, that's a bitch! Terese, what is that? Oh, look, look, look, look, look! There's a bitch in there! Look, look, what is that? What is that? Look, look, look, look! Look, look, look!

Look, look, look! It's a tree coming down! Hey guys! I took that chainsaw and cut that tree down for you like you told me to! I told you to cut the other one down! What we're seeing right now is a drone shot of a tree falling and these guys are getting very excited because does a tree make a noise when it falls in the forest? I guess we're about to find out.

Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! That tree done failed! Holy hell! That tree done failed! That tree down! Holy hell! Cowboy Ken zooms in on that drone! Cowboy Ken? There it is! Wild Bill! That's right! Hey, we done smoked some meth!

And then everyone looking at a tree falling down and there's a TV and a drone and all kind of shit! Ah! Ah! And my teeth are falling out! Look at those teeth. That is a picture of dental health right there. I'm purposefully pressing pause here so I can show my children later.

Right, this is what happens when you don't brush. They're so scared, they're so scared about this. I did the same thing with my nephews. Oh, you gotta do it, you gotta tell them all the bad things that'll happen. And you know what, they're mostly true, so at least you're so scared about it. I did the same thing with my nephews. Oh, you got to do it. You got to tell them all the bad things that'll happen. And you know what? They're mostly true. So at least you're not lying to them. You know exactly what that was.

It was me. I was doing it for fun Mr. Swift that big-ass tree down. I think he just said big foot is celibate and he fucked that tree down It said big foot is celibate he fucked that tree down Cowboy Ken he caught right there on his drone. Yeah, get that drone back. We need to get over there. I want a cool name like Cowboy Ken. You call me Billabong Brian or something? I sure will, Billabong. Can you call me Backstreet Brian?

Yeah, that's my new nickname, Backstreet Brian. Backstreet. Again, Huckleberry looks like a totally different human being. I swear to God they've had multiple Huckleberries. And why are they all wearing winter hats? I don't know. It doesn't seem very cold outside. All right, kids, we need to get over to where that tree just come down and get over there

now. Why is he holding the drone like that? It's like he's waiting for it to lift him off the ground. Well, he's gonna be waiting on the wall time. You know, whenever there's impending doom and danger and claws and teeth and bloody marks and lots of things on fire and blood splashing out of things, these guys will run right into it. They're the bravest guys I know.

They really are. Look here, look here, look here. What do you got? What do you got, Buck? Damn, look at this, guys! Get the hell up here! Damn, guys! Look at this mean killing machine over here.

Get over here. Here they come. I guarantee that was pulled down with a thing. You can see the trail right behind it. Clearly, there's been a four-wheeler behind it. A gun! Gun! Son of a bitch!

I've never seen so many quick shots of a fallen tree trying to make it look scary. I know, and they did it where it's like the, you know, tails from the dark side. Yeah, the flash. Psh, psh, psh. Damn! Look at this! Look at this! My gosh! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this!

Good night, John boy. Good night, Mary. I spot that tree right up ahead. I hurry up and get up there. And man, this thing has tore all the shreds. Look at that! Damn! You can see where it's been split in half. Why would he shred a tree? Chrissy,

why would they make a show like this? I failed to know the reasoning behind any of it, but it's highly entertaining. I don't know. Look at this We're all entertained by a falling tree And ripped to pieces. That's a damn tree a big foot rip down Like this man said damn tree didn't read foot rip down. We know bill we see it also But thanks for pointing out the obvious. Squatch is gonna get nicknamed Paul Bunyan. Look at the size of this.

Yeah, that that that that that. It's a big ol' ass. About probably 50, 60 years old, 70, somewhere around there. Probably 50, 60, 70. To be fair, it looks dead. 80, 90. Yeah, it does look pretty sickly. I bet it didn't take a lot of force to just pull it down. Pissed off Bigfoot, guys.

Yes, it is. Oh, you bet it is. You think he got mad because we had that drone in there? You think he got mad because... Is he had that drone? You think he got mad because I had an erection? You think? Because he had a drone in there.

Yeah, Bigfoot was upset. That's a good possibility. That's a good deal. You think he was upset I hadn't washed my jeans in two years? You think? He's pissed about something. Guys, I got a big question for you. What's that?

Which one of you dealt it? Because I just... Who farted? No, that's just my beard. Bigfoot did this? Where's he at? I hadn't thought about that. Well, golly.

Well, paw my dick and call me Rosie. You bring up a good point. My guess is not real far. Whispers are scary. Whispers are scary. I tell you what I think we need to do guys. It's starting to get dark. We need to go back, get our lights, get our guns, get the thermal and get back out of here. We need to do this in the dark. Here's what we need to do.

Let's hit old country buffet. I'm going to take a hot deuce. A loan of a Mountain Dew. You wash your beard because it smells like shit. We'll get Billy to get us some Mountain Dew. Already done, boys! We'll come back when it's pitch black. It'll be better for seeing stuff, you know. Of course.

You want to grab that dirt and see if we can't get it airborne? See if we can't get some action? Will do. All right. Holy ****! Right up in there! That was a damn... Whoa!

Right up in there! They're all pointing. They're all up in there. I'm tree-knocked! Oh yes, it was. Guys, the hunt's on. Hell yeah. Kill those lights and go to IR.

Damn! Kill those lights and go to IR! What? What? What? What? What? What? Guys, the hunt's on. Kill those lights and go to IR. Kill those lights and go to IR. What's IR? I don't know, but it sounds like we're watching NASA, like a SpaceX launch now.

Kill the lights, go to AR. Capcom, go. Kill the lights and go to AR. Roger, Cap. All right, that sounded like it was just right up the hill. So wait, let me get this straight. They kill the lights on the camera, but every single one of them is illuminated with a headlamp. Okay, gotcha. Hell yeah, that's not far.

I know Ken didn't expect to be out here doing tree knocks and actually get a response. What is a tree knock? Well, you remember when I told you about the Whacking Tree? The Whacking Tree. You ever seen a porn movie where the male in the movie smacks his erect penis on a vagina of a young lovely woman? Well, that's called a tree knock.

And what we do here is we run around whacking our decks against trees hoping that Bigfoot does the same in response. It's his calling card. Right up in there! That was a damn tree knock! Hell yes it was. Welcome cowboy Ken, you're an Ames member. Alright here's the plan. Welcome cowboy Ken, you're officially an Ames member. You're the one Welcome, Cowboy Ken. You're officially a names member. You're the one we're gonna feed to Bigfoot. That's right.

Willie, Bill, Cowboy Ken. Willie, Bill, Other Bill, Other Billy, Huck, Huck, Huck number three, and Cowboy Ken, you go first. I'll be back here. It's snack time. I'm contractually obligated to have three snacks a half hour. All right. You three, start up the hauler about 150 yards, start working on the side of that hill.

Jeff, Huck, we're going to go up this way, and we're going to spread out and see if we can't get our eyes on this thing. Hey, guys. Hey, guys, I don't walk so good. Anybody got a four by? Check this out. It's a tree. Look at this.

Wow. My gosh. Look at this thing. That's creepy looking. Man, that's a tree. I know it's just a tree. It's an oak tree. Oh my God.

Geez. We're really desperate for, really desperate for some kind of attention here. We're walking along this trail. All of a sudden we look up and here's this big old honey locusts, all gnarled together, twisted together. That old honey locusts is twisted.

How is it death? It's a honey locusts. Oh, interesting. You learn something new every day on Mountain Monsters. This is a teaching show. Redirection. It is. Looking up at this tree, this don't give me any good feeling.

Sir, it looks like it should be Bigfoot Country. What constitutes looking like it should be Bigfoot Country? Oh, this looks like a tree yoni having her moon cycle. Right to the center of your soul. Telling you guys, that's a devil tree. I'm telling you guys, I saw this on Instagram. It's called a devil tree. And we're supposed to sacrifice to it by, I don't know, doing a little dancing and two stretches and a downward dog.

We better get on our paws, boys. That is creepy looking. Dang it. Hey. OK. Hey, step back. OK. Hey, get the fuck out of the way.

Hey, guys. Here's a side-by-side trail. Oh, hell yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, hell yes. You hadn't noticed that you were walking on a side-by-side trail before No, it's just come upon you that there's a side-by-side trail. Yeah That nest in that video was right along the side the side trail

Nasty yeah guys foot in a net money guys got a big foot nest Arr Magnus for my bigfoot eggs. Mmm, yum yum. Ah, do do do do, just making my bigfoot nest. Ah! Yeah, it's big fat people.

Quick, knock the tree. Take dick, whack across tree, make them scared. In that video that Jeff has of that nest, you can clearly see a side-by-side trail right nearby That nest it may not be okay. We've all been using cell phones for about 20 years now, and I guess Whatever raccoon Jim or whatever his name is has the inability to hold a phone straight So you get an actual picture of something big foot nest. It just like a bunch of weeds. Too far what? Let's start beating this trail. You ready? Yeah.

Just keep fucking up this way, boys. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, listen, listen. I got my gun out. Pew, pew, pew. I'm trying to go through the forest. I know, they're just trying to walk through a forest. It's not very foresty. There's no trees. But okay, I get it. Can you hear that? Yeah. I've got to walk through a forest. It's not very foresty. There's no trees, but okay, I get it. Listen.

Can you hear that? Yeah. He's got a nine millimeter in his hand. He's like pointing at things with it. I know. I think that's like the rule number one of gun safety is you don't use your gun as a pointer. Sounds like something's moaning or crying

or something out there. Yeah. Hear that cowboy? Yeah. He's coming right over there boys. Right over there. The cowboy's like, I was just supposed to do the drone shots. Yeah. How am I out here now? He's like, listen, somebody called me and said, you done got a drone?

And they said, you want to be on a TV show? I didn't bargain for all this Bigfoot shit. You go first. Go easy, Bill. Go easy. Has Bill ever gone easy on anything? No, he hasn't, Brian. No, I can't do that.

Guys, there's really not that many side by side trails that we've found here in the Tiger Valley. No, meanwhile, these guys are having a stroll. You know, I don't really have one notice too many side-by-side trails down here on Tiger Valley. You know in 1947 Tiger Valley got his name because they found an actual tiger? No, I didn't know that, Buck. Meanwhile these other three are pointing guns at each other. And again, there is nothing smarter in my opinion when it comes to safety and security than sending one team one way and one team the other way to circle back around when everybody's got guns. That's right. Take out the thermals. It's 42 degrees max. You're talking about, you're talking. Hey, look here, look here, look here. Wow.

What you got, what you got? Wow, it's a stick. I found a stick. Pine limbs. Pine limbs. Pine limbs, hmm. Something seems awful suspicious in Tiger Valley on this side-by-side trail. Pine limbs, I wonder

where they come from? Probably the pine tree, Buck. They zoom in on the pine. I know. It's fresh. We've got to be getting close to that nest. The whole outside of the nest was covered in pine limbs. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was. Uh-huh. He has a specific tree he likes to build the nest with. Pine leaves and huckle fin and what was that? Huckle honeysuckle or whatever it was.

Huckle honeysuckle. That's one creepy honey huckle suckle. You have a whole nest made out of pine leaves. Look around, do you see any pine trees? I ain't seeing one right there. He's importing them in. Special for his next. Hello. It's me, Bigfoot.

Mm. Uh, uh, uh, hello. Yes, me, Bigfoot. Need some more honeysuckle-puckle and, uh, dine leaves, yes? Mm-mm. Making big nests, I am. Don't time anybody. Ha-ha.

I'm a prime member. Do I get that overnight? Yes, OK. All right. Thank you. Huh? Let me ask you a question. If they're in search of this supposed Bigfoot nest,

why didn't the guy who found the Bigfoot nest just tell them where it is? Why didn't they just let them know? Why are they running around like this? God's voice. Yeah. Fakes that. Come on, Bongo Brian. Big old dead honey running around like this? Come on, it's worse. Yeah. Come on, bongo Brian. Look, old dead honey like us.

Yeah, come on Captain Kim or whatever your name is. Cowboy Captain Kim. You guys, look at this. Dang, we didn't even notice that was right next to us the entire time. Dad, cool. That ghoul. Oh my god. It's a ball of twine.

What you guys can't see is that they're just, you're not missing anything. Like visually you're not missing anything. They're just walking around the woods picking up sticks and making, you know, illogical conclusions about it. But they just turned literally to the right and two feet in front of them is this big ball of sticks and twigs and pine and honeysuckle puckle and all this. They couldn't see that during the day. No, they couldn't.

They had to wait. They had to do that at night. Of course, Chrissy, it makes more sense when you can use the thermals. Number one, number two, you turn on the IR. Number two, I'm pretty sure turn on the IR, number two, I'm pretty sure you would have seen that regardless of what day or time of night it is. The thing is huge. Yeah, it's big.

Good crafting on behalf of the staff there, by the way. Face the line. There it is. Wow, they have a lot of shots of it. You know what I'm saying? They seem like they've taken a lot of B-roll of this particular thing. Oh, and there's lights. Oh!

There's a little door. There's a little door. That's right. Bigfoot, while he may not, you know, he might be the kind of creature that tears down trees and tree limbs and all that, he has excellent landscape and hardscape taste. He's got great lighting outside. I want that kind of lighting outside in our landscape, actually, Astor won't let me pay for it.

Never seen anything like this. I have also never seen tree lighting in the middle of the forest, but hey, what am I, who am I? They have lights all around it. They do. They're not even pretending to hide them. There's just lights. They have spooky, atmospheric,

clearly set up professional lighting, casting a shadow. Let's go ride a Disney world. I had a Disney world, and they asked me, Bigfoot, now. Oh, well that was it. Well that was it. Yeah, they're not going to show you the end. Like all these videos, and obviously I don't have the rights to watch them. I don't have any of the rights to do any of this. I'm just, I'm, this is under fair use. I'm making commentary on it, but on YouTube, they don't show the conclusion of any of these.

Not most of them. What they really show is like the teaser, and then they want you to go watch the episode. But this is the five best hunts, or the scariest hunts. So we're going to do number four in the next segment. I'm going to take a short break. We'll do number four in the next segment. And then if we need to, I guess we can just roll into... I think we're going to have to.

Why not? The guys in the kids love it out there. It's the only thing that they love, apparently, is the Bigfoot. But that's okay. I'll give you what you want. All right. Let's take a break. We'll be back.

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at youtube.com slash The Commercial Break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian?

That really wasn't that difficult, now was it? You're welcome. BWF MOST ANNOYING MONSTERS All right, we're back with the boys from Mountain Monsters. We're checking out their five scariest hunts for various different monsters. We just saw them come across a Bigfoot nest that was well lit and actually looks kind of cozy.

It did, yeah. It looked like something you'd find like in The Hobbit land. Or Firefest or something. You know, like a glamping location. Do you know what I'm saying? All right. Let's get back to it with number four. Here we go.

Look there. Look right there. There's a lightning bolt. We're in Blair County, Pennsylvania, and we're going after the lightning man. The lightning man! The lightning man! The lightning man! He looks very much like what you would think a Bigfoot.

Bigfoot, that's right. Just a little more, way more fangier. Lots more fangs. Bigfoot, he strikes out of the darkness and then just vanishes. That means he's damn quick. He's agile. He'll be out of the dark on top of you and gone before you know you got your guts ripped out. Damn. Well, that was descriptive. The lightning man. Well, that explains a lot. That explains a lot. That explains a lot of things that happened to me in the woods as a kid. It was the lightning man.

Look at the steam coming out. That's right, it's a hot steamy pile of shit. Uh oh, earthquake, here we go. What the hell was that? That's thunder. The f***ing Thunder Brothers. We gotta get... The Thunder Brothers?

The Thunder Brothers. the Thunder Brothers. It sounds like a gay porn duo. This Tuesday, the Thunder Brothers bring their variety review and strip tease to Backstreet Atlanta. We need to get it cooled off. How are we gonna cool it off? How the **** hold that? We need to get out of that ca- Piss on it! ...and we need that pipe. So I stank it on my feet, I just-

Oh, he pissed on it! He pissed on it! He's pissing on it. Some reason, the Thunder Brothers left a pipe pipe or the Lightning Man or whatever left a pipe that was too hot to touch and they need it for what reason I don't know. It's like hieroglyphs in ancient Egypt. They need to get out of the tomb and quickly. It's like a real Harrison Ford. So he's pissing on it.

Oh my God. Come on guys. You're bringing this down. I thought this was a family show. Pissed on a damn thing and cooled it off Here you grab it with your bare hands I'm surprised with my prostate. I was able to get anything out but it dribbled out Why did they need the pipe?

I don't know why did he need to piss on it? Why did the other guy pick it up with his hands? Is piss really gonna cool it off that much? No. Not there, not 20-30 yards. It sounds like something's beating on the trees. Almost like thunder. See anything? Almost like thunder. Like thunder.

Who's that handbook? Right out through there. Thunder. See anything? Thunder, thunder. Almost like thunder. Like thunder. There was a handgun right out through there. I just caught movement right out through there. Shoot. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Oh my God! This was one instance when they weren't pointing the gun at each other. They were actually able to get a clear shot. That's right. He said he saw movement. I'd just start shooting. If it was me, I'd just start indiscriminately shooting into the air.

Yeah, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, just side to side. Like a movie, hoping to hit something. Ah! My light's out. Yeah, wait a minute, Buck. That's the light in the middle. He's here. That's the light in the middle. Yeah, good deal. Good deal, Buck. Good deal. Yeah, get that lighter out.

Yeah, good deal. Get that lighter out. That'll shed a bunch of light on the situation. Nothing illuminates a room like a lighter. Yeah, good deal. Get that lighter out. That'll shed a bunch of light on the situation. Nothing illuminates a room like a lighter. Go in here now. Stick one in Big Hairy Paul's in here now. Yeah, I got a lighter. Go ahead. I dare you. And a pipe. I dare you to stick your dirty mugs in here now. I got a pissy pipe

My thumb I Also have a gun but I'm not gonna use that We're in trouble. I'm losing fluid We're losing fluid You could hold the lighter that long anyway. They're going to explode in your hand. I'm out. Oh, that was conveniently quick. I've had Bic lighters for five years that never ran out.

When I smoked cigarettes, I had one lighter, I swear to God, for five years. It never ran out of fluid. And I did a lot of things with that lighter a lot But I never chased a big foot with it However, he conveniently had it lit for 30 seconds and it ran out of fluid Here come the Thunder brothers Come on, you gotta get there. Come on. Come on. Come on. I hear my heart. Come on. Let's go Here come the Thunder brothers Here come the Thunder brothers be careful Look! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You got the dead liner? I do! We've got all the ingredients for what I don't know.

We gotta get that axe put together and we gotta do it fast. Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it! We got that piece of pipe we believe has that second piece of that lashing in it. The only way to get it open is beat it open. What? What are these guys doing? Why are they beating it from the pipe? Yeah, all of a sudden it's an Indiana Jones adventure. It's a choose your own adventure.

This is a Dan Brown novel now. I don't know what's going on. Is that it? Is that it? That's it! That's it! That's it! That's it!

That's it! That's it! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Well, to cool it off, you see, I stuck it up my ass and relieved myself.

Oh yeah! We just cut that pipe open and there it was. That's the other piece at last we was looking for. The lash? Now we have all the pieces of the Thunderaxe. The Thunderaxe? What the fuck is a Thunderaxe? They're fitting it together like a sibling.

Oh my god, this has gone way out of control now. It's a Marvel movie Where's Thanos when you need him? That's it. We got we got Yeah, everyone's got guns, but they're all excited about a thunder axe made with lashing in a piece of shitty wood about a thunder axe made with lashing in a piece of shitty wood. We got the thunder axe! Yeah! This is like a 4chan board come to life. We got the thunder axe.

Ah! Storm the capital. We have the power! Woo! We just got the thunder axe assembled we need to get it in that safety box and give the lightning man his chance to touch it. Come on guys come on. What this sounds really complicated for a mythological dumb dumb creature like for a walking ape really? The trap is set the thunder axe is in the security box now we have to back off and let the Lightning Man do his part.

Fall into the trap? We have to leave that Thunderaxe here and we have to back out. As much as I hate to do this, we gotta let Thunder Man stick his hot loins in there and then when he does, he will jizz lightning and we will all become all powerful! All mythological creatures will bow to our will! We have the thunder axe! Full of pee, but it's the thunder axe nonetheless. Get the lightning man his chance to touch that thunder axe.

Yeah. Huckleberry, Bill, Jeff, get up high on that ridge about a hundred yards back behind the trap. All right. Will you come with me? We're going to hit that thunder axe. Yeah, huckleberry bill Jeff get up high on that ridge about a hundred yards back behind the trap All right. Will you come with me? We're gonna hit that high will you come with me? We're gonna hit that Krispy Kreme We're gonna have that Krispy Kreme 30 40 yards out and then we'll be we'll be back Yeah, you guys wait for certain death. I'll be at the Krispy Kreme. Jump on this side, trap door goes down, we come run him. All right. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's go. Bye. Man, this storm come out of nowhere. Holy f***. It looks like man, this storm conveniently come out of nowhere during the Lightning Man episode. That's kind of crazy or well timed. Hey, light.

Oh, that gold sun. episode that's kind of crazy or well time what was that You better get over here right now! I got what you said! I got what you don't make no pancakes! It's a god damn fancy chicken fried over! You been out here all night with your boyfriend! Hey! I told you I don't sound like god damn! I was saying I'm not god damn! You better stop playing out here with your boyfriends! I did it, it was right there! I don't see anything. Easy now, easy. Be ready, be ready Bill. It was right there, Huck.

Remember we gotta let him touch that thunder axe. Easy, easy. Go slow. I don't wanna die too quickly now. You gotta let him touch that thunder, that PP thunder axe. It was right here, huck. I heard something over here.

It was right here. This is just wild to me that they found a pipe, they pissed on it, inside the pipe was a lashing, that then they found a rock, that then they put a piece of wood together to make a thunder axe and that thunder axe needs to be touched by the lightning man, then the Thunder Brothers inside the security box and then I don't know what happens. What happens then? I don't know.

Whoa! Everyone exploded! Did you hear that very realistic explosion noise? What happens then? I don't know. Whoa! Everyone exploded! Did you hear that very realistic explosion noise? That sounded like a cartoon. Oh, tree's on fire. That was a lightning bolt right there. That was a lightning bolt right there.

I guess Buck did have some extra fluid in his lighter. He lit the tree on fire. Hot damn brother! What happened? Lightning hit right there! That tree right there! The tree right there! The only tree in the entire forest that has been lit on fire! Can you see it directly in front of us? Where? Come on Bill, come on! Go, go, go!

Jeff! Jeff Rowe! Jeff Rowe! Jeff Rowe! Holy **** pull guard Bill! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff Rowe! Jeff! It's clear! The more you yell his name

the more he will recover from a certain lightning strike. It's in the medical textbooks. Lightning! In my 49 years in the woods, I've never had a lightning bolt hit that close to me. You can feel the power. Holy ****! I think he's been out there for a hundred.

Oh yeah, yeah, this is 49. That's just how many years he's been out in these woods this time. It was the first 22 years of his life. He took a short break in Paducah and then he came back. Oh, knocked him right out of his shoes. Yeah. What are you, Moodo? Is he all right?

This one, he never got killed. He was standing right there. Right there. I'm gonna hit, shuck the ground. Let's forget about medical attention and recall exactly what happened. If I got some bad news, brother. What? Your boot blew off and you pissed your pants.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Oh my willip, my tallywhacker. He's been pissing all over the place this time. He's had a lot. He had to go. He had to go. That's to go. That's all right. That's

all right. That's all right. We'll clean you up. We always do. We'll catch you new ones. That's all right. You're lucky to be alive, Chipper. Yes, sir. All I remember is Huckleberry and Bill going down over that hill. Next thing I saw, a flash of light, a huge boom, blew the piss out of me, my boot flew off. That's the brightest light I've ever seen in my whole life. You're not going to be alive. You're not going to be alive. Don't worry. We don't need any additional medical attention for that lightning strike. Yeah, no, you're fine. You might hear a buzz for a couple of days, and radios might turn channels when you walk by them, but don't worry about it.

Lightning hit a tree that close? Oh, man. 10 feet away? Yeah. What the hell? What was that? That's a trap door! That's a trap door!

Trap door! Huckleberry, stay with Jeff. Let's go, let's go, let's go! Go, go, go! We heard the trap door go down. We need to hurry up and get up there. Oh, the thunder axe. And then we gotta slow down and ease in,

because that lightning man could still be right there. Said every woman he has ever slept with. Slow down, ease in, before the Thunder Man gets here. Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy. That lightning man Thunder Brothers could be right here. Gosh, gosh, there's a trap, there's a trap. The trap door's down. Watch, make sure they're not here, Willie.

I'm a-lookin', I'm a-lookin'. Willie, go to the right of the... I'm a-lookin', I'm a-lookin'. I'm puttin' an A in front of lookin' to make it sound like I'm a little more redneck than I actually am I'm a lookin' Bill cover the front, I'm gonna head around to the left Let's check it out, make sure he's high speed close

He could be right here guys, keep your eyes open What's the trap? What's that? What was the trap? I don't know, it doesn't matter, it's all just moving cameras really fast so you can't see anything It's in there! The Thunder X is in there! It's in the trap! Yeah! Good deal!

The Thunderaxe is in the trap! Hell yeah! Jeff! Come on Jeff. Jeff! Jeff! I know you just got hit by lightning, but come over here and see the- Infest your pants. See our Thunderaxe! It's really cool. I've got a He-Man and She-Ra playset also. Go easy now. I think you also shat yourself. I can smell it from here.

I think it's PP and poo poo. If you know what I mean. Got the thunder axes in the trap. I got struck by lightning and shat myself, lost my ability to get an erection, and I got a terrible headache. But woohoo, we got a thunder axe, whatever that means. And the team quickly sent the thunder axe to the Smithsonian for additional research Because you know the Thunder axe and all that shit All right

Everyone settle down It's getting too loud in here. Oh Fuck in the boys Well, there just has never been a better episode. I love the mountain monsters to death. I just think this is the funniest show that has ever been. It really is. And it's hard for me to imagine that there is any human being out there

that is watching this with any degree of seriousness. But it's possible that there is someone out there believing this stuff and I feel bad for their relatives. That's how I got it. Maybe in the first couple of seasons, but aren't they on like season 20? I think it's actually, I think they're actually only on season number eight or nine, but I believe that they are not making any more new mountain monsters.

I think they canceled it. Yeah, right before you get that lucrative, you know Syndication contract it always works that way. Uh-huh that works Yeah, but don't worry. It'll be I think it's on max right now It'll it'll float to Netflix or something like that But what are those boys gonna do after they get done with this? Do you think they made enough money to just kind of walk off into the sunset? Well, depending on where they live well to just kind of walk off into the sunset? Well, depending on where they live. Well, you'd be surprised. I bet these guys live in like Manhattan.

They're probably in the Hamptons or something. Yeah. I bet they clean up nice. They at least have a big lake cabin. Yeah, for sure. They're living on some lake in Kentucky. And they'll always be famous to those who know. To those who want.

Yeah, you know It goes to show make content somebody out there will enjoy it how many people I don't know but you know We love it. So that's it. You can keep making them forever. We'd keep breaking them down. All right All the audio and the video is now and always has been available on our website at TCB podcast Dot-com it's hot. It's a hot website, but you don't have to piss on it. Pick it up with your hand. Like I said, all the other videos. There's more to you than that came from. Yeah. I have no idea. That's a good question. Hit the contact us button if you want your free swag. Give us your address. We'll send you some 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822 questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas.

Add the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com slash the commercial break for all of the episodes the same day they air here on the audio feed. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the audio feed. Okay, Chrissy. That's all I can do for today. I think so I love you Best to you best you out there in the podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say Bye with the Fizz loyalty program you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan You know for texting and stuff and if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan You're not with Fizz switch, you're not with Fizz.

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