The Commercial Break - I Can Smell Your Gas

Episode Date: September 25, 2026

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The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show. Kristen Joy, wholly. Best to you, Chris. Best to you right. Best to you out there in the podcast and the streaming audience.

Thanks for joining us. Here we are. Look at us on a Monday. We're getting aggressive this week. Be aggressive. Be aggressive. Yeah. Yeah.

Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. I woke up singing that this morning. I know. You know, I was on, where was I? I was in New York. I was waiting on the plane.

And I saw, as you do. As I do, all the time. Yes. And I saw two young ladies. I say young, probably in their 30s, snickerdoodling and looking over and snickerdoodling and looking over. And then as we jumped into line, one of the girls said, are you Brian Green?

from the commercial break. And I said, yes, I am. And she's like, oh, my God, you know, we listened to this, you know, me and my friend, we've listened to the show over the years. She's like, I was just this morning singing that song that you play, best to you, best to you. It's so catchy. So then I get on the plane and then there's a guy that's sitting next to me.

This dude has a jacket on, like a thousand dollar best to you out there in the podcast in streaming universe, by the way, I forgot to say. Yeah, somebody in the chat. And so this dude, we're in the like zone one or two or whatever it is. And as I'm walking, as they call the zone and it's that people who are ever-lover fucking mind. Yes. And everyone's rushing, but I'm standing, I happen to be standing like on a, near a post, plugged in charging my phone.

And so I was close to, but I saw someone just, you know, losing their ever-loving fucking mind. They got to get there. So I have decided that my new way to handle all of this is just be fucking nice. Everybody will get on the plane. Everyone has an assigned seat. I have never once, I've been lucky enough to fly in Zone 1 or Zone 2. So I'll have a place to put my bag. Don't worry about it, Brian.

The fuck. We're all going to the same goddamn place, right? And so I let this dude, he's wearing a suit jacket, probably a $1,000 suit jacket, with a T-shirt, a top. eye that is like undone down to here. Jogging shorts. What? And lofers with white socks on.

Was that his Zoom outfit? Kvici, I have no fucking idea what this guy was doing. He's probably in his early 60s jacked, like huge dude. And he's just like, I got to get the plane. And I said, after you, don't mind if you do. Like, okay, cool, dude. Go right ahead. He's the guy that's sitting next to me on the plane.

So it paid off, right? It paid off that we're not in like some, you know, be, it's like, we don't even know each other and we're in a couple argument because one of us got on the plane. You know what I'm saying? Right. Okay, you could be a dick, but then God's, you know, the universe is going to fuck with you and put that person right next to you. So it paid off this time. So the dude is sitting next to me. But I guess he saw the interaction happen with these two young ladies. And so as soon as we got on the plane, he like helped me put my bag up. And the truth is, I needed help putting my bag up because I'm not supposed to be lifting stuff super heavy. That's right. That's right. Even though I'm absolutely not listening to the doctors. I'm not supposed to do it. So he helps me put my bag up. I'm sitting on the inside. He's sitting on the outside. And then he says, hey, what did those two girls say to you? Like I saw them come up to you. You were somebody from somebody. And then I said, oh, I have a podcast. And I think one of them was listening to the podcast. He's like, oh, I love podcasts. Podcasts in my favor. He's like, you ever listen to the Paul brothers?

And I'm like, I do not listen to the Paul brothers. But I know who you're talking about, what about Rogan? You listen to Rogan? No, I don't. Theo, Theo Vaughn. No, I don't. I said, listen. When you have a podcast, you don't listen to a podcast.

That's just the way it is. It's like when you live by the beach, eventually you get sick of going to the ocean. Do you know what I'm saying? And so he's laughing and he's like, oh, man, I'll have to check it out. And I'm like, okay, dude. Meanwhile, he's dialing up like Fox Live on the, and I'm like, okay, all right. You're not going to like my show, but whatever. And I can see him on the plane.

He's just like, then we both shut up. I end up falling asleep. And as I wake up, I can see the dude's got the commercial break on his phone. He's listening to it in his earbuds. And I'm like, oh, fuck. So then, you know, plane lands. We all get up. He takes my bag down.

He puts it in the seat for me. Very nice guy. He's like, so is your last. Oh, he still was helping you even after he listened to the show. Yeah, even after he listened to the show. Okay. He goes, so. That's a good sign.

Yeah. So is this your last stop? Are you connecting? And I go, now I live here. And he's like, yeah, I live wherever, you know, on the lake. He's a lake, bro. And I go, yeah, yeah. I go, I noticed your lake attire. And he's like, and he goes, I don't want to have to pack like one of those, you know, hanging jacket thing. So what I do is I just keep my jacket. I keep my jacket on my tie on. And I go, and you're loafers? And he goes, always loafers, bro. I wear loafers to the lake. And I'm like, okay, got it. He goes, that's in your show. It's funny. It's funny. funny. He's like, so I'm taking it. You're not a Trump supporter. You're like on a little

diatribe about Trump. And I said, hey, listen, not, you know, I call it like I see it. And he's like, yeah, but this prison has been the best president for business ever. And I'm like for his business, maybe, not for everybody else's business. But anyway, I didn't get into it with him. I was just like, yeah, yeah, you know, everyone has different points of view. That's it. But, you know, it's interesting to be recognized. And then what's interesting even more is that people are singing that ditty, I guess, in the shower. Cool, dude. Cool. I'll take it. My friends are the same thing. He was like, I keep singing that song, best to you, best to you, best to you, best to you. It's a great song, great little ditty. Thanks, AI. Nothing to do with it, except writing the words. Man, I'll tell you what, I, I, I'll tell you what, I, I, I, I'll tell you what, I, I, I, I,

I finally got an on-time flight from New York to Atlanta, which was. It was shocking. Really shocking. I fully expected that after the surgery, I'd be right back into the mix and dealing with some kind of enormous travel delay or problem that I'd have to overcome. That would not be including driving down to Atlanta this time, not right after I got that surgery. Fuck, no. I probably won't ever do that again. You know what I thought?

I could take a fucking train if I really needed to do it. Yeah, you could. I could take a 16-hour train with all the stops at 16 hours. It's 12 driving by the time you piss and take a nap and fall asleep and, you know, drive yourself crazy and all the road rage. It's 16 hours anyway. Might as well just go to Penn Station and grab a train down. Exactly.

So, but, you know, I think that my travel delays and my travel problems may be contagious because I didn't tell this story yet. Astrid for our 10th anniversary, I gave Astrid the gift that keeps on giving, which is four days away from me. It was like, hey, listen. She, her best friend was going to. have a wedding in Venice, which is where they live. They live like, I think it's Moderna that's like really close to Venice.

It's like the city right on land, right outside the island, 20 minutes by train, not far. And so her best friend from Venezuela, that's where they landed. That's where they've been, her and her fiancé, Jessica, and Alessandro, they're very sweet people. And they kept on asking us at Gustavo's wedding, can you come? Can you come? It's going to be small, but we want you there. And we thought about it six ways to Sunday, but taking children on a 10-hour flight to then take 10 hours right back. No, it's just not worth it.

You're not going to spend two weeks there. It's not worth it. At least, at least a week, at least. Yes. So we just said no. But then in my head, I started thinking about hatching a plan. Like, I think I have enough miles. I think I can get Astrid there.

She's not going to be flying in comfort, but at least she could get there. And that way she doesn't have to miss her best friend's wedding. Yeah, that was very sweet. And I will bravely take on the week with these children in tow. I didn't realize how could I have ever known that I would be seven days out of major stomach surgery when that was going to happen? And trust me. Astrid kept saying, I won't go.

I just let me cancel. I won't go. It's fine. And I'm like, I just thought of my head, I will not have this hanging over my head for the rest of my life. I just won't. I won't be blamed for your misery, right? Or at least you want the credit.

I do. That's right. I want the credit in the marriage bank. Absolutely. I want to put a deposit in the marriage bank. I want to make sure. And Astrid deserves it. She takes care of the kids.

I'm gone all the fucking time. She does this all the fucking time. I thought, I can handle this, right? And so even, but I'll tell you what, the night that she left, she left in the morning or in the afternoon. And the night that she left, I kept thinking to myself, I should have had her cancel the goddamn trip. I was miserable, man. Did you get nervous?

I was miserable. I was hurting. I was tired. I was not feeling great. But I powered through, but that's not the point. You did. Astrid gets over there, 10-hour flight straight to Venice, and then she's going to come back on Monday. So she leaves on Friday. She's going to come back on Monday evening. So with the time difference, I know that Astrid's going to get on the plane while we're asleep. And so I said, hey, babe, you know, text me, get on the plane and love you. I'll see you tomorrow. All right. And I wake up. Oh, and I had been gone from. New York, from the office in New York for almost three weeks. So I really had to get back to the office. A lot of stuff to address. It's very important. I'm a very important person. Very important. And if I'm not there, then things just fall apart. So I've got to be there.

I mean, you know, my boss may not realize it yet, but I am a valuable employee. And my goal is to make sure he knows it before he fires me. So I'm going to get there that night. So Astor's going to land at four, she's going to probably get home about 5.30. And at seven, I got to be back out the door and I'm going to go to New York. Right? So it's like this, we have two hours to play with Max. So I wake up and there's a text message from Astrid, hey, babe, at the airport, hey babe, about to board. Hey, babe, an hour delay, right? I don't know why, but an hour delay. And I'm thinking, I'm doing the math in my head. It's like, it's okay. I can push back. I can get the light later. I can go one hour later. I'm still there.

So by the time I wake up, she has supposed to be taking off. And she's like, we're on the plane. We're heading out. We're about to take off. We're backing up from the gate. I said, great, going to be there perfectly on time. So now listen to this fucking insane story. You ready?

Yes. So they back up out of the gate. So I have that flight app. You know, I'm a dork. So I can keep track of, and I can listen to the ATC and all that other stuff. So I'm watching as the flight backs up. I'm watching as it taxis. and then I'm watching as it turns around

and starts heading back toward the gate without taking off. And I thought to myself, that's weird. Maybe they're just taking off in a different direction or some nasturt starts texting me. She's like, I can smell gas in the plane.

Jeez, that's scary. And I thought, what? And she's like, everybody's smelling gas in the plane. Five minutes later. The pilot just came on. They can smell gas in the cockpit. And so they've decided to go back and make sure that everything's okay.

Well, fuck yeah. Have you ever been on an airplane when you smell diesel fuel. I haven't. I've never been on a plane when I smell diesel fuel. I mean, they do a pretty good job of, like, you know,

keeping the diesel fumes out of the fuselage, which is probably a pretty fucking good idea when you're flying, you know, 40,000 feet in the air at 700 miles per hour with red hot engines

just flaming everywhere. So they get back to the gate and she says, they're going to check it out. It's probably going to be 15, 30 minutes, and then we'll get going. And then she says,

and they're going to get us off the flight, right? So what happened was, There was a leak of diesel fuel, of jet fuel in the engine. That's crazy. And now imagine, the only line, the thin line, the thin veil between certain disaster, or at least a big problem, and everyone being safe was the smell. That's it. That's the only thing.

Now, I imagine they would have gotten in the air and some fuel indicator would have started, you know, alerting them or whatever. But what if they were over the ocean when that happened? That's right. Or what if the engine just set on fire? Now they have things that can put that shit out. But you do not want to be on a flight where they have to pull the fire extinguisher on a jet engine. As you're in the middle of the ocean. Fuck no.

There's nowhere to land. You don't, landing on water, it's only happened once that anybody knows about. And that was like a, they called a miracle on the Hudson for a reason. Because the conditions were perfect and the guy was perfect and everything happened perfectly. it would not have happened like that. 99.9% of the time that plane is breaking up and it is exploding. That's it. So I thought to myself, oh, shit, well, I guess I'm not going to New York. And oh, shit, I got another fucking day with these children. Another fucking day with my kids. You know, you know, I love my children. Love them to death. They're my children. I'd do anything for them,

except for staying an extra day by myself with them. I mean, luckily, they tried their best to help dad out. did. They tried their best, but it was rough. So Astrid gets off the plane. Now, listen to this. Difference between the United States of America and Europe when these things happened. When this happened to me, when they canceled my flight because of weather and drama and all this other stuff, they basically said, good fucking luck. We'll get you on a flight five days from now. Right. There's no more hotel rooms left. Keep your receipt and maybe we'll pay you back. And best of luck with the travel, right? That's exactly what was said. You know That was what said

Yeah we ain't got no more Airplanes So y'all gonna have to fend for yourselves Good luck I'm going home to McCatt Bye It's basically what happened Bye Felicia

Don't even want to talk about it Get on your app And try and make alternate reservations Because I'm going home I'll see y'all latest And everybody was like What? Blahua la la la la

People crying Some pregnant lady Being bitch You know it was like It was a whole thing there they get buses they take the the buses meet them at the front of the airport on the bus they get food they got fed boxes of food yeah yeah yeah they go to a nice hotel i mean to say a nice delicious food there in italy yeah probably right they probably took the food from the flight

and gave it you know they probably took the food off the plane and handed to everybody in these box they get a bus da da da da da da they say uh everybody can have dinner downstairs at the hotel or there'll be a bus outside waiting for you and we'll take you somewhere else to have it, a dinner. How civilized. The plane is going to get fixed and then we'll be off at 8 o'clock in the morning. Please be downstairs at 5 a.m. Breakfast will be served. Yada yada. Lovely. So nice. The only time that that's ever even come close to happen to me was Spirit Airlines and they forgot about me and left me and coast a fucking Rika for three days.

That's right. So, but here is the real kicker about this whole thing is that Alessandra tells Astrid in a text message, you deserve and are legally guaranteed up to 700 euros for your inconvenience. It's in the law. And Astrid's like, what? And he's like, yeah, write him a letter, cite these laws. Astrid writes Delta, a letter, cites these laws. And 15 minutes later, she gets a Citibank notification asking her to accept 700 euros.

No way. 15 minutes later. That's incredible. It's incredible. Here in the United States, you get a good swift kick in your dick. That's what happens. Yeah, exactly. Just figure it out.

Good goddamn luck to you, sir. I mean, that's it. So I was, this is crazy. good for you. First of all, thanks, Alessandro. The second of all, good for you, Esther. Sorry about your inconvenience, but it almost paid for anything out of pocket in the entire trip. And then I start looking up the law differences between the two. Now, we do have a passenger bill of rights here in the United States, but here's how it goes. Two hours on a plane without taking off on the tarmac, you're legally, they're legally obligated to give you water and a working bathroom. That's it, right? three hours they have to give you a snack, water, and a working bathroom. Four hours, they have to allow you to get off the plane, right? You can't be stuck on the plane. Yeah, I'm just sitting there.

Great. Great. What does that do for my pocketbook and all the time that I'm wasted, sitting in the goddamn plane? I mean, if we had laws like Italy, do you how much money I would have made by now? I'd be a multimillionaire. My travel problems have probably added up to days. worth of inconvenience. And I am thinking about moving Italy so that when I have all these problems,

I just get paid, Chrissy. Is a matter of fact, I'll be a perfect. As a matter of fact, with those laws in Italy, I would be a professional traveler for a living. I wouldn't even have a particular place to go. I'd just fly back and forth and look for, I'd look for the most problematic weather, and I'd fly there. That's what I do. So I can just get paid every time I fly. That's what I would do. I mean, what a deal. I mean, I'm shocked. That's incredible. And I'm all in on moving to Italy. Oh, I'm all in on moving anywhere. I'm all in on moving anywhere, if I'm being honest.

I mean, love my United States of America. I still do. I still think it's the greatest country on Earth. Oh. Oh, well, happy days. Our light just went off. Or the commercial break sign just went off. Not particularly sure why?

That's the weirdest thing. I think my daughters were in here playing with it. I'm 90% sure they put a timer on. it. Okay, so let's do this. We'll take a break. I'll try and fix it and we'll play a song. It is hilarious, actually. All right, let's take a break because we have to and then we'll be back and we'll talk more smack. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speak in a mail, get your free TCB sticker

in the mail by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at TCB Podcast. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333-3-tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but Maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. Out of it, I think that's like a sports station now, 96.7. I guess.

You know, you can't keep up with all the fucking changes in the radio business these days. This is all over the place. Yeah. It's miserable. Is it miserable? Speaking of radio business, Howard Stern returned to one day a week of work. That must be nice. But, you know, I like, I listen to some of it.

There's a little, some of the teeth, I think, has been taken out of Howard a little bit. You know, he's getting older, and that's what happens. You get older, and you kind of get set in your ways, and you, mellow out a little bit. But I can appreciate that one day a week, making $100 million a year is not a bad gig. And now he's got that HBO show too. So they take the Monday show, they turn it into a Thursday, like hour and a half long. I watched some of it. I did too. I liked it. I didn't love it. The part that I don't love is that Howard is not even in the studio. Did you know that? He's in his house. And so these people are essentially staring at a screen.

Now they make it look like Howard is in the studio, but he's not in the studio, and either is Robin. So everyone's all over the place, and that's it. But Howard did say something that was interesting that I can appreciate. He's like, listen, I've been doing this forever for 51 years. I've won every time. I made hundreds of millions of dollars. I brought millions of people over to Sirius. I've continued to do this longer than anybody has, you know, successfully done this.

And yet people still want to say that I'm losing in some way, shape, or form, right? that now you're down to day a week and, you know, I can appreciate that. I can appreciate that Howard's had a pretty amazing fucking career. He has. He has. He really has. And made billions of dollars and made billions of dollars for people. And yet everyone still wants to kick him in the fucking balls.

Now, like him a don't like them or whatever. You can say, Howard has had a pretty successful run. And I can appreciate that he said even when he dies, people are going to be saying, Howard dies, lazy asshole dies. We'll see what happens. I watch the HBO show. I think they got some work to do on it, if I'm being honest. It felt a little disconnected and edited weird, didn't it?

Yeah, that's why I didn't continue to keep watching the whole. And I got about 30 minutes into it, 40 minutes into it. It seemed like they were jumping around. I think they need to work on it. I think they need to work on it. And I can't see that that's going to be some HBO max, like super star show. I think what it's going to be is, you know, the hardcore fans will watch because they watch it. But I don't want to listen to it on Monday, then watch it again on Thursday to be on.

All right. I'm okay with that. But no one's looking for the commercial break either. So, you know, what am I? What am I? Who am I? I wish we had made $100, let alone $100, let alone $100 million. That's just a big podcast conference up in New York last week.

Okay, that was last week. I saw that was going on. I wondered if you were going to be there, but you weren't. No, I'm not going to be there. And so we'll talk a little inside baseball. Conferences suck at any level. No matter where you go. They're really hard to do well.

And I can appreciate that. And the people who run podcast movement handed it over to another couple guys to curate because this, what once was the like premier conference in our industry just kind of fell on hard times, mainly when they put us in a roach motel in Las Vegas. Right. Like the worst hotel in all of Las Vegas and stuck us in these incredibly weird rooms. Like the kind of rooms where there are cigarette burns on the dressers. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they still have like ashtrays sitting in the bathroom. It was a bad look. And it didn't get any better from there. So now this year they're revamping and they're going to be. Yeah, Zizi too. And so one of the people that I work with, I wasn't, I couldn't fly up there because I was still not feeling well. One of the people I work with got invited to attend an event.

And she goes to this event and listen to this. She counted at any given time in the room. This went on from four to eight. It was like the big after party, the premier after party. That by the way, in years past, Paris Hilton spun records. Yeah, I remember when you went to that one. It was like fucking insane. Like hundreds of people packed out in some huge bar that they rent out for the entire night and free drinks and all this other stuff.

she goes yeah what's the update on that she goes and I'm not even going to tell you what company this was but this is a company who should know how to throw a party

this is a company who should be spending money on throwing a party especially if they want to make a splash in the business which they're constantly trying to do and it's at their huge offices in Manhattan

she counted at no given time more than nine people in the room nine nine people this was like You got an email every 15 seconds about it. I mean, everybody knew about it.

Nine people. Nine. I don't know. But then I have a friend that's on the other side of town. How is the actual party? Terrible. Terrible. She's like there's, you know, one girl in the crowd is just like, you know, taking shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot.

And then there's like cold food with it under a heat lamp that it looks disgusting that you would not serve to your dog. And then there's like zero entertainment. There's like somebody's got their Spotify playlist on it. She was like, it was terrible. And we stayed way too long and we only stayed 45 minutes. It's that kind of party where you're like hurting to get out of there. As soon as we started to leave, someone from the company came running up and was like, hey, don't leave. It's like, why?

Why do we have to stay? Why are we going to stay? Yeah, what's coming up next? Please do tell. And so word on the street is, new curator, same mess. Why can't you get conferences right? All the industries I've ever been to. I've been to some fun conferences.

I really have. But I've never been to one that's like, did the trick. And what I mean by do the trick? Informed me, allowed me to network and get as fucking ripped as I possibly can. Now, certain groups at conferences will do that no matter what the deal is. We all know those people. True. I mean, I used to work in cable.

Oh, yeah. I bet you had a few conferences. I've done really good ones there because that was back in like the cable heyday when all the networks would throw these individual parties. So you had all the MTVs, all the networks would throw stuff. And it was a lot of fun. Yeah. I, listen, I would love, love, love if we could just get like one good conference going. So I'm considering doing the commercial break conf.

Oh, okay. Because I think that if all three of our listeners show up, you and me, and I could, and I probably have some sway, I can probably force some other people to show up. Yes. Yeah. That we can get 10 people in a room. But we right size the room and we get some entertainment, which could be either you and me, do it, you know, doing a whole thing. A handbone and Haudley skit. Or we'll ask, you know, I don't know.

Playing our AI music. That's right. Playing AI music. Or I just learned that Connecticut Dave, who drives the cab in Connecticut. I just learned he's also a DJ. Oh, okay. So maybe we get Connecticut Dave to show up. We have a couple of our listeners.

And I'll give a little talk about podcasting and, you know, AIB certified downloads. And then it'll be better than anything anybody's putting on right now. Yeah, it sounds like it. The problem is. Here's a problem. Podcasting has gone global. It's gone big. And so now the premier podcast conference to go to is the Cannes Film Festival.

Oh, wow. Or the Cannes advertiser. Can ads is what they call it. It's Cannes Advertising Festival. Now a podcast conference has piggybacked on top of that. And so now everybody goes to Cans, the week before the film festival to do this and then it parleyes right into the film festival. Right. That's fun. I told the guy I work with, I said, hey, listen, got to go to Cans. It's all right, got to do it. And by the way, anybody who's anybody, they rent yachts out there. That's how they do it. They rent a yacht and they do a party and they have a bunch of people. You don't go to a restaurant. You go to a yacht. Yeah, just expense it. Yes. Why not? Well, we're thinking about going to Telluride.

Not Telluride. What's the other one that's out in Boulder, the film festival? Oh. The Boulder Film Festival? No. Well, it just got moved to Boulder. Yeah, what is it? Sundance.

Yeah. Sundance. Yeah. We're thinking about going to Sundance. For what reason, I don't know. I think it's just a party. But, you know, the party and tell everybody. I love it.

Belder's beautiful. So pretty. Yeah. What a great country with all the beauty we have here. That's true. From C to signing she. She to shining she. From the, from the.

Mountains to the valleys and the Air Force up above. God bless America. God bless America. I just read. And this is like I'm in love with this. I'm in love with what's going on right now. I hate it and I love it. Donald Trump, in an effort to distract everybody from everything else that he's fucking up,

decides he's going to ban people, you know, all these reports. MSN Politico, CNN from the press pool. And then they go on Saturday. He's done this before, too, and it didn't work. He did it to Jim Acosta, and it didn't work. Yeah. And so he bans them on Friday, and then on Saturday they go to work, and the Secret Service takes their press passes and won't let them in the building.

It tells them they've got to go out in the street. So I just read, this is Monday as we're recording this, I just read that the press pool, the larger press pool, has decided they won't show up to work either. So in solidarity, the press pool is not there anymore, essentially. All the five or six networks that do the rotating press pool, they're done. They're just not going to do it. And that's the right move.

That is absolutely the right move. Yes, thank you for banding together. Yeah, I mean, listen, you know, was I a huge fan of the idea that Donald Trump was sending a bunch of podcasters into the White House briefing room? No, I wasn't. But you know what? Okay, it's a new age. It's a new time. You know, sometimes you got, I would write.

Rather, that happened than start banning people because that, you know, that's a free press. No president loves presidential coverage. Every president gets. Exactly. Well, because there's so many different points of view. And these other networks are going to cater to certain points of view. Of course. And, you know, just like Obama, I think he weighed in on the whole thing and said, oh, my God, I'm trying to think of what would have happened if I would have said, you know, at Fox News, get out.

Yeah. Can you imagine? It would have been World War III. It would have been a civil war. I mean, it just, people would have gone bananas or if Biden did the same thing or if George Bush Jr. did the same thing. Whoever. Whoever it was. It literally would have been the end of the democracy.

Trump does it. It's just more like. It's one more shocking thing. It's a more shocking thing that we're not shocked about because of course he did. Because of course he did. That's just the way that it is. But a free press really is very important for society. Extremely.

A free society. And we need different different points of view. And you may not like MSN or you. You may not like CNN or you may not like Fox News. You may not like. But you have a choice. C.O. Vaughn being in the White House briefing room asking questions. But those people's ability to ask the questions is the constitutional right that we've been given so that we can understand what at least get a bird's eye view.

You know, the president is largely watched 24 hours a day by the press pool. They go everywhere with them. They go on airplanes. They go inside Marine One. I mean, not every time. But most of the time, when that Air Force One takes off, there's like 30 people that are sitting in the middle of the plane. There's a huge part of that plane. It's just dedicated to the press so that they can keep an eye on what's going on with our president because we elected him and that's our right. Right. So like Trump, don't like Trump, whatever the deal is. The next president, the last president, I sure do want people on my behalf keeping an eye on what's going on.

And they can report back to us, me mainly. I'm the important one. And tell us what's going. on so that we as a free society can have transparency as much as possible with our government. And the truth is it's just not happening. And then you're telling people they can't show up to work because you don't like the coverage. What they're saying. Yeah. You think Obama liked his coverage? You think Biden liked his coverage? You think George Bush liked his coverage? No one likes their press coverage. But that comes with the job. It comes with the job. It also comes with the ability to have a mouthpiece unlike any other, a platform unlike any other. in the world. That is it, right? Yes, someone is saying in the chat, the ban will backfire. Of course it will. There are already people who are staunch, ardent supporters of Donald Trump, super MAGA, super right, who are saying, don't do this. Don't do this because the next president, who's likely going to be Democratic, a Democrat, that next president can do it to Fox News. Yeah, you don't want the tips of tap. Yeah, that's the problem. Once you open up the can of worms, it's hard to put the worms back in the can.

I don't want to know who's the first person who figured out that when you open up a can of worms, it's hard to put the worms back in the can. Yeah, who did that? And do you get a can of worms? Isn't that in reference to those ones that would pop out? Oh. The game? I was actually, in my head, it was always like actual worms.

I think you're right. Or the cat back in the bag. Who had a cat in a bag? Yeah, I don't know. Never put my cat in the bag, but I'm allergic to them. So I don't, they can stay in the bag as far as I'm concerned. My daughter thinks I die if I go around cats. And I'm trying to explain to her.

No, it's not like that. I mean, I guess I could, but, you know, it's not like that. She's very concerned. Yeah. She's very concerned about my allergic reaction and my belly and the piece that's missing. She's wondering if I need the piece that's missing. I'm like, I don't know. We'll find out, I guess.

I guess. We'll find out. Everything seems to be fine so far, except for certain foods. I haven't gotten my appetite back. Certain foods I'm finding they come with a bit of you're going to pay for it. Yeah, a little pain. Yeah. So like last night a friend came over cooked a pecania, which is a steak with a lot of fat on it, right?

It's a beautiful, lovely steak that is very popular in South America and Spain. So he goes outside and he brings it over. He's like a legit barbecue guy. Yeah, yeah. He like goes to competitions and stuff. So they come over, they bring these two big pieces of meat. I have this big charcoal grill out back. I've had it for like two years.

He puts the charcoal in. I had to go somewhere. I had to go to the store. And I come back and there's almost a hole that's burned in my deck. And Astrid said, hey, honey, while you were gone, the grill, like a hole opened up in the bottom of the grill. And grease started pouring down and it set the deck on fire. Oh, my God. I was like, what?

And she's like, yeah. So now there's like a big almost hole in my deck from my good friend coming over and setting my house on fire while he was grilling pecania. Oh, no. But he, he, he, he cooks this pecania. It's just, it's just lovely. It's, it's just. So he was able to finish cooking it. Oh, yeah.

Well, yeah. We're Venezuelan. We don't stop. Even if the house is on fire, you use the flames from the house to cook your pecania. Because you know, you're not going to have a house, but at least you'd be well fed. So he's cooking it and I'm like, I just love a pecania. He's cooking it. And then you like cut off certain parts of the steak and you salt them and all this. And he's putting these little end pieces on, you know, and I'm over there like a little, like a cat, you know, sneaking around like a chok.

sneaking around like a child on Thanksgiving. Yeah, it took a little bite. And then instantaneously, I was like, well, I guess I'm not having any pecania today because the problem is the bile now goes right into the small intestine. There's no traffic light for bile, not now. It'll happen over the next couple months. But so you just your belly instantaneously is like, oh, don't do that. I walked into Starbucks today and they were like, God damn, are you, are you on Ozmpic or something?

I said, no, why? You look so skinny. And I was like, yeah, well, do you think Ozzypic works that quick? First of all, no, I'm not an Ozempic. I just got pieces of my, I just got organs removed. Yeah, that's right. Surgery. Same thing. Yeah, the surgery, which is not a great way to lose 15 pounds, I'll tell you. But, you know, I guess, I guess there's worse ways to lose 15 pounds. I guess. But anyway, I'm, I'm just felt. You are. Yeah, you look good. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I love. good all the time. And sometimes I get a little bloated. I know it's going to happen. I don't have my appetite right now, but it's going to come roaring back right as the weather turns. And I'm going to go on like an epic cream and cereal run. And I'm going to gain all 15 pounds back and add another tent. And then I'm going to be bitching and complaining right about holiday time about how big I am

and I need to lose weight. And then I'm going to go run, run, run, run, run, run, run like a mad person, get back down to this size. And then I'm going to do it all over again next summer. It's cycle. It's the yo-yo. Yeah. I mean, I seriously consider taking a GOP. Now they're saying it cures Alzheimer's. And dementia.

Yeah, there's a lot of benefits. So now I'm just thinking, well, all right, I'm going to take peptides. I'm going to do the testosterone. I'm going to go GOP1. I've had my shingles vaccine, which is fucking miserable. I'm better living through chemistry. That's right. I'm going for it all.

I don't even have to wait for the stuff. I don't have enough time to wait for the full studies anymore. I'm time, you know, like when I was 20, I was like, oh, see how that plays out. I don't even care anymore. Yeah, just give it to me. Just give it to me. Give it to me and we'll deal with the consequences later. Because, I mean, I have a 50-50 shot of diet at any moment anyway, right?

So I might as well just take some GOP-1s. I'm going to, what are they called stacking? I'm going to look smack is what I'm going to do. I'm going to have Botox. I'm going to get my lips plumped. I'm going to get my teeth straightened. I'm going to start shooting testosterone in GLP-1s. I'm going to go full peptides.

if you have a snake oil that you want to sell me, now's the time, because I'm fully convinced, just go for it. I already take so many supplements they don't work anyway. Yeah. I'm taking prostate max. I'm taking fish oil. I'm taking cocunal. I'm taking, uh, you know, over.

I know. I take stuff too, and I'm like, but then I'm nervous to take it away. Me too. I'm like, well, what if it is working? I know. My doctor's looking to me. He's like, take like 13 supplements, dude. I'm like, I know, but, you know, don't they work?

and he's like, no scientific evidence, any of this works. But it makes you feel better. I do the fish oil. Yeah. That is supposed to be good for your heart. It is. And I take colcunol, which is supposed to keep your cholesterol down, your good cholesterol up in your, and my cholesterol, it varies. So I said, dude, should I stop taking all these?

And he goes, no, it makes you feel better. Take them. And I'm like, no, I'm looking for you to tell me. Right. Like, give me some. And he's like, well, I'm here to tell you what to take or not to take. He's like, but it just seems like, a lot, you know. You're taking a multivitamin, probably doesn't work. You're taking prostate

max, probably doesn't work. You're taking, you know, a glucosamine and coo-jointing or whatever. He's like, do you feel better? And I'm like, not really. He's like, yeah, see? I'm like, but in my mind, if I take it away, I'm going to feel worse. And he goes, okay. You don't want to risk that. You know, God bless you. I don't think he's going to kill you. And I go, could it kill me? And he's Like, I don't know. No scientific evidence of that either. Well, those supplements are not regulated. No, they're not regulated. It's all that's like ground up horse meat and cow bones or something. What is that stuff? The Korea team. I've got a website you could go to, though, that I subscribe to that independently tests like all of these. Oh, really? You should look at that. Yeah, it's probably paid for by the supplement industry.

No. It's independent. Oh, okay. Give me that to me. Yeah. I'm taking eye. I got eye creams. I got eye creams. I got. got all kind of shit. Oh, God, the eye cream. Yeah, I think I want to go get Botox, but, you know, then I get nervous and I'm, ah, I'm going to be stuck like that. You know what I'm saying? They're really good at it now. I know. I know. And you can go, like, I go to the dermatologist. I get a little, yeah, I got a little up here. Well, I got, I got the eyes done about three years ago. I got two shots in my eye. I paid for like half a vial, right? And I got two shots of my eyes. And I loved the results. But then, you know, of course, Instagram scares the shit out of me and shows me every person who's like, I'm all messed out.

Yeah, like I got the person syndrome from Botox, you know? It's like the horror stories. There's like these nurses, they're on a campaign to stop you from getting Botox. I can't look at all that. I know. I know. You know, fuck it. It cares.

Just fucking do it again and again and again. I know. But like, again, I'm 50, you know? Give it to me. We just said we were on a new plan. Give it to me. Yeah, give it to me. That's my, that's my.

I'll take it. Take it. If you offer it, I'll take it, right? Especially if you want to give it to me for free. Give it to me and I'll do a commercial about it here on the commercial break. I would take a Botox commercial and then we could just, you know, get like Botox the company to come in, like their doctors and just give it to you. You know what I'm saying? I want plumpers and fillers. We'll have that at the conference too. Yeah, that's right. We should have a Botox nurse there and she just shooting you. They do those Botox parties all the time. It's like, you know, Donald, your gay friend down the street is all this, you know, took an online course and he bought a bunch of Botox from China. Now he's filling you up. But you know what? I'll take it. Yeah. I'll take it. You know what we should do. We should take a break. Yes. Or someone sues us because they went, got everything and they died. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. us on Instagram at the commercial break.

Text or call us. 212-4333-3-T-CB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, TCB Podcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos

at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

I walked in the door to grab a latte. I paid $10 $10. Heard, Arianna Grande, but then I saw him and his big doll. I felt my knees weak. Here came the brain fall.

And though I'm not gay, you make me feel that way. I hope it never ends. My new Starbucks boyfriend. All my toes curl, all the feels come. My world of gold, you are my shining

son. We love to talk sports and swimming pools. You like the patio. I like the bar schools. And we spill tea and we crochet. The other tables might think we're gay. I don't really care. I hope it never ends. You're my best Starbucks boyfriend. And though we're still straight, you make me feel a certain way. I hope it never ends. My new Starbucks boyfriend And though I'm not gay You make me feel that way I hope it never ends

My new Starbucks boyfriend Not gay You make me feel away I hope it never ends My new Starbucks boyfriend. He's great. I saw him this morning. He's doing good.

You had your little meeting? Yeah, we had a little meat and greed. We talked, you know, we're two old men sitting around. Yeah. You know, primpin and preening and, you know, talking about our prostates. That's what we do. That's what old white guys do. We sit at Starbucks and primpin prine and talk about our prostates.

So, you know, he's good. He's great. He's doing good. He's renovating his house right now, so he's been in and out of town trying to avoid the construction. And he's like, man, I came home the other day. And it's dust every. got the drywall done. He's like, there's dust everywhere. I can't believe it. It's so much dust. And I'm like, dude, when I renovated my house, I changed those filters four times in like a

month. And I had Stanley Steamer come out here and clean all the, all the, the, um, the air, the duck work. I did it all because that dust gets everywhere. It's so fine. And it doesn't matter how much, how much plastic you put around your house, it's getting everywhere. Gets in the air vents, blows out the other direction. Anyway, he's doing fine. He's trying to avoid the dust. And I'm like, You're not going to avoid that. He's, he's well off. Like, he can pay people to clean that shit. I'm like, Lance, just fucking get people to clean that shit.

What are you doing? You have Stanley Steamer come in there and zip zip. Yeah. Zip-jib-zip. Zib-jib. Bebe. M-mm-mm. This girl on, when I got a divorce.

Yeah. You know, there was like a roving cast of characters that I dated for very, yes, there was. For very short amount of time. And I say dated. I think that's even a stretch in some cases. Yeah. It's like fooled around with for a night or two. Yeah.

There was the, some longer than that, some less than that. There was a girl that my good friend at the time really liked, and then we got, he wanted to introduce me to her, and her and I got drunk and ended up having a one night stand. I mean, it was like all kind of. And then she told me at the end of the one night stand she had to go

because her fiance was at home. Oh, my God. remember that? Oh my God. I was mortified. I mean, I'm not a prude, but I didn't want to be that guy. And she was like, don't worry about it. He's never going to know. And I was, I never talked to it again, ever. So. Sorry, I just got a flashback to a couple of them. There were some kooky-dookies. I mean, there really were. And there was one that was like, this girl, like loosely in the Venezuelan community. And I, this. I met her at a party that Rafa had or his family member had. And I'd seen her before

to their parties, but I'd never really interacted with her. And we interacted, and she asked me out on the date. And I was like, sure, okay. And then we start corresponding on text message, right? And I'll never forget. We were trying to plan to do something. And I was like, well, why don't we go to a bar? And she's like, yeah, I don't want to go to a bar because I'm a nymphomaniac. And if I start drinking, all I'm going to want to do is have sex, and I'm trying to be more mindful about who I have sex with. Well, at least you knew what she was working with. First red flag, right? And I was, and I knew it at the time.

And I was like, well, okay, all right. I don't know how interested I am in this girl anyway. But, okay, cool. You know, pressure's off. At least pressure's off. I don't have to perform. Like, I don't have to worry about it. So we agree to go see a movie.

And I forget what movie we saw, but we went and saw a movie. And after the movie, you know, know, we go outside and I'm like, hey, you know, you want to go, like, have coffee or something like that? And she's like, no, honestly, like, I really am. I'm like a total infomaniac and I'm just going to want to go home and have sex. And I'm like, okay, well, good to talk to you, I guess, bye, you know. And I don't think anything ever, I don't think we ever went out again and not, not alone. I just decided that I wasn't interested for a number of reasons, mainly because I thought it was like too close for comfort to the family. Second of all, I didn't really understand

like what that was all about. Yeah. She didn't have to tell me that. And that was kind of a weird way to position it. She could have just said, no, thank you. But, I mean, do you really not have that kind of control over your facilities? I guess some people don't. You know, I've seen movies about it.

I've never, I don't think I've ever met one. Encountered anybody. So I'm friends with her on Facebook for years, right? Just like years. I mean, I don't know. I don't talk to her anymore. I haven't talked to her in years about anything for any reason. But all of a sudden, like, three months ago,

She starts popping up on my Facebook, writing these diatribes about people cloning her. What? Ryan Reynolds is stealing her money. And can anybody get a hold of this person because he's the only one who knows? And they're in my backyard. And they're on the TV moving around these cameras. Like really, really insane shit, right? And I don't know her all that way.

but I feel bad that there's like no one in her life that's or maybe somebody is. I don't know. Are people saying things like in the comments or whatever? Some people are saying, hey, how are you doing? You know, give me a call. Like I've seen a couple of people respond, but most people, like mostly it's nothing. Because no one knows how to respond to that stuff, right? And I just want to make sure that like, I don't know.

I have this part of me. You've asked Rafa? I haven't asked Rafa because I know that Rafa also doesn't talk to her either. Like, I think there are some people in the family that have loose communications. But it appears that no one is talking to her, right? That no one isn't. And I know that we probably all have somebody in our life like this. Like, not totally off the rails, but somebody who kind of goes sideways a little bit.

Yeah. And you hope that someone would step in and say something. Like, hey. Are you okay? Do you need help? Do you need, like, medical attention? Clearly, she's hallucinating. Clearly, she's unwell. Clearly, there may be schizo tendencies. I don't know. I don't want to diagnose anybody. I don't know. But I don't think you write, like, pages and pages of that stuff unless, and like taking screenshots that have no, you know, there's no connection to what she's writing. It's just, like, really weird. And it makes me feel kind of sad a little bit. And I'm wondering, like, you know, I don't know. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I play one on TV. You can hide posts. Yeah, but why would I want to do that? So it's too interesting.

Ryan Reynolds is stealing her money and she's being cloned. Ryan Reynolds is stealing her money and she's being cloned. I don't want to give away anything that could indicate who this person is. But hold on one second. Nine new posts since yesterday. Really? Yeah. Wow. Oh my gosh, I can see from here looking, I mean, that's a long.

I mean, look at that. It's long. It's crazy. Yeah. Someone was paid to turn a specific app into a, into data stealing so that they could get into my devices. I mean, like, someone that's like clear paranoia, right? Right. And you just, I don't know, you hope that someone, that's a problem with social media. is we're all sitting here watching this. And I know that I'm not the only one that's sitting here watching this. There are other people in her life, I'm sure, that are seeing this. And it's kind of a sick

I don't know. Yeah, like it's a sick observance. It's like stopping it when the car crash, you know, slowing down to look at a car crash or, you know, watching something happened in slow motion in your mind that you probably could do something about. It reminds me of when people are, like we see all these fighting videos like people, I just was watching a video about some dude getting the holy crap knocked out of him at a Burger King for not any particular reason. Just a couple of mean people like pushing this like guy around. He looked like he might have been homeless. And then he gets the crap eaten out of him. And there's like 20 people recording it. And not one person steps in and says, hey, stop it. Like just stop it. No, it's awful. That's the problem today, I think,

a part of the problem with social media. is we are all, you know, like voyeurs and we lose the humanity. Like, I am literally don't know what to do. I wouldn't know anybody in her life to call that's close enough to say, hey, and those people must be seeing this. They must be interacting with that, right? And you would think that somebody would say, hey, first of all, stop posting. And it's not helping.

It's making things worse. And second of all, you know, maybe you need some help. I don't know. If I ever start doing that, will you please say, hey, Astrid, I think Brian needs help? Well, yes, when I check my Facebook every, like... Yeah, yeah, honestly, but that's the other thing. Yeah. I took that off my phone a long time ago.

I took Facebook off my phone a long time ago. I have Instagram. You know, I have lots of followers on Instagram, but I haven't made a post in a couple months because I just kind of got sick of like... Well, it's the whole thing. Also, I'm very busy. Yeah. You really have to take a lot of time. It takes a lot of time.

People are always contacting me. To be honest with you, I think I've had more people recognize me from my Instagram than from the commercial break. Yeah, but I think it's because on Instagram, you're seeing my face, right? And on the commercial break, you're probably more than likely just listening to me because no one wants to watch us, Chrissy. Let's just be honest about it. All right.

So I think Chrissy and I are going to do another episode. If you're tuning in, you can keep tuning in. If you're tuning in, you can keep tuning in. Yeah, thanks for tuning in. Yeah, thanks. Keep tuning it. Yeah, let's do it. We're going to try and keep it on the regular.

Regular, as they say. Regular. Regular. Oh, bum, da-da-da-da-da-do. Ooh, cha-cha. Cha-cha. So what do you think? You think Donald Trump's going to nuke Iran?

Who knows? No one. I think that's part of the concern. I don't think anyone else. Hey, you know what? I was just talking about this young lady on my Facebook. What about the guy on true social? Anybody going to get with him?

Exactly. That's what I'm going to say too. I'm just like, why is no one pulling the cord? I just don't know. I just don't know. I'm going to build the arch and put drones and missiles and things. Yeah, he's going to put missiles and snipers. And what?

What? I know what the difference is? Here's the difference. My friend has no power and no money. He does. And so everyone is willing to say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Be so that they can get a taste of the action. That's it.

And speaking of the Paul brothers, the Paul brothers were at the Pentagon the other day, running around with Pete Heggseth, you know, doing push-ups. Ooh, what in the fuck are they? I know, it's a bizarre. It's a bizarro world. Bizarro world. And those two fucking idiots, I swear. I swear to God. You had me there for a minute. You had me there for a minute when you were talking about ayahuasca and awakening and self-awareness.

And then you show up to do push-ups with Pete, fucking egg set? Come on, man. God, he's a joke, too. Oh, God, is he a fucking turd in the water? Swear to God. Unbelievable. It's a joke. It's all a joke. Thank God for South Park. I'm watching the newest South Park and I love it. I love it. I love it. They do a great job. Yes, you should be watching. South Park. If you're not watching South Park, you should be. It's as good as it ever was.

It really is. And you know what? It doesn't matter who was in office. They'd be doing the same thing because they have done the same thing. They did it to Obama. They did it to George Bush. They did it to Biden. They did it to Trump one. Now Trump two. It's great. All right. Add the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on TikTok, YouTube.com slash the commercial break for all of the episodes on audio and video and our opportunity to stream us live. See, that's all I can do for now. I think so. Tell you that I love you.

And I love you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast and streaming universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say. Goodbye.