The Commercial Break - International Luuuv!

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

Episode #634: Bryan & Krissy are extremely TCB coded today, as they discuss 90 Day Fiance and Bryan & Astrid’s early days of love to suppress their burgeoning societal fears. The election Monday M...orning Misogyny The 4B movement The flat earthers 90 Day Fiance A condom and a catheter He was not licking her boom boom down! Bryan & Astrid’s meeting What are your relationship red flags? Would you watch our twitch? Bryan’s kundalini yoga retreat Guru Jagat Reality and the twisting of reality! Your twenties are culty Yogi Tea Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 No creature on earth except for my dog is ever gonna control me. On this episode of The Commercial Break. A week before Astrid gets here, I walk outside of that house I had down in East Atlanta. Yes. And I go, I just can't. I just can't bring that thing up there. That was a good call. That's when you got the other car. I got a Kia, a brand new Kia. You did. I came over one day and I was like, oh, you got a new car. Because I'm like in six days, this woman that I love is going to show up and I can't impress her
Starting point is 00:00:39 when there's no passenger seat for her to sit in. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Holdley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Starting point is 00:01:03 All right. We've had a weekend to lick our wounds and drink. How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. Yeah? All right. Feeling okay. Feeling renewed?
Starting point is 00:01:15 I don't know if you've noticed, but off with the news and back on with Catfish and Sister Wives here in the studio. That's right. And 90 Day. And 90 Day Fiance. I will not turn on the news and back on with Catfish and Sister Wives here in the studio. And 90 Day. And 90 Day Fiance. I will not turn on the news forever. I'm just not gonna turn on the news forever and ever. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Amen. Yes. For those of us that were wishing for a different outcome in the election, it's nothing but Monday morning quarterbacking on the news and how terrible everything is and how terrible everything was. So I went to alternative places for news sources like that fucking excrement.
Starting point is 00:01:46 I mean, I swear to God, X is like a cesspool. It's just a cesspool on both sides of the aisle. Because you know what I'm reading a lot of on X right now? And you know, obviously I live, I try my best to like get news from different sources. I agree. I don't wanna live in an echo chamber, even though I probably do to some degree.
Starting point is 00:02:04 I don't want to, but that's just the way the algorithm works, right? But on one side of the aisle, it's like insane. I mean, just insane craziness. We won, we're going to do all this stuff to you. Ha ha, lol. I mean, this is just on X, right? Yeah. On the other side of the aisle, it's Elon Starlink stole the election.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Where is Trump? I mean, the same shit that happened in 2020 is now happening on the other side of the aisle, claiming the election was stolen. Look at the, you know, they're still sending out these fucking fundraising tax methods. Are you getting them? I've gotten like 30 of them, you know, Hey, uh, you know, Democrats still have a chance to win the house. Can you send $5 and secure the election? And I'm like, how in the world is this going to help now? Haven't people already voted? Where's my $5?
Starting point is 00:02:51 Some smart human being that had way too much time in their hands read on the very bottom of one of these fundraising emails that the money could go toward a recount of election. And so now there is a conspiracy theory running around that Kamala is secretly and her team are secretly going to go and ask for a recount of the election because Elon Starlink stole, you know, change votes in California or something like that. I don't know. But I don't think Elon Starlink. Listen, I am open, just like in 2020, I am open to any evidence you may present of shenanigans.
Starting point is 00:03:24 But you can't have it both ways. We can't say yet the election was the securest in history, and then also say it was stolen when it's not in our favor. So I'm open. I'm open. But so far, I have not seen any reputable news. Put forward that the election was stolen. Christy's ready to move on. So tell Kamala Christy's ready to move on. It's over with. Christy has spoken! I'm ready to move forward. Move forward, that's a better way to say it.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Yes, it's time to move forward, I think. As Christy and I were here just discussing in the studio, one of the big mistakes that Kamala, you know, everyone's Monday morning quarterbacking. That's the problem. It's the worst. Every fucking, I can't even, like I don't click the links. Everybody's an opinion. I know. I don't click the links, but I read the headlines and every headline is the 10 reasons why Kamala didn't win. This is how Trump won and Kamala lost.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Yeah, the Dems lost. The Dems lost because Biden, the Dems lost because Kamala. I think I understand why the Dems lost. Not enough people showed up to vote for Kamala and too many people showed up to vote for Trump. That's it. Yeah, it's simple math. That's it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:36 But I know, I am clear on one thing. I totally understand why the Democrats lost this election, why Kamala lost. And that is after extending multiple invitations to both aisles, both sides of the aisle, by the way, neither of them showed up on the commercial break. And that is clear why we lost. Clearly, clearly. With over three listeners in swing states, we could have done nothing, but it would have improved our ratings. And if we can't get something out of the Harris team, then what good is she doing us? And that's why next time, burden Ernie for our president and vice
Starting point is 00:05:12 president. That's what I say. But you know, they're gay, so that might have the country won't vote for it. I think there's also this realization that, this like sad realization that maybe my fellow Americans, most of them are not ready or not willing or not able to punch the button for a female candidate. I think that's part of it. I think that is part of it. And that's sad. I don't get it. Yeah, I didn't realize we were still there, but I guess we are.
Starting point is 00:05:44 You know, I don't know. Maybe it's because I was a mama's boy. Maybe it's because I get it. Yeah, I didn't realize we were still there, but I guess we are. You know, I don't know. Maybe it's because I was a mama's boy. Maybe it's because I like tits. I don't know really why I am like this, but I really am like enamored with the female form. Like I just think they're the fairer of the sexes. And quite frankly, I think they would, y'all would do a great job of leading this country. I mean, we've done a lot of, men have been in charge for a long time and so far nothing
Starting point is 00:06:07 good has come of it. I mean, look, look, all right. Look at where we are in world history right now. The oceans are full of plastic. The earth is literally melting itself. Every country in the world is experiencing some kind of strife. We're just on the verge of World War III and the Middle East. And there is 90% of the people who lead these countries and these situations, 90% of our leaders have dicks and we just not have done,
Starting point is 00:06:36 and we have not done a great job. And I think I understand why. And so I wish we would just go ahead and turn it over to the women for a little while. And then we'll see where we're at in like 10 or 20 years. You know what I'm saying? And then we can all collectively come to the table and make a decision about which one did a better job, the male or the female.
Starting point is 00:06:53 I hate to make it a war of the sexes, but I think that's what we need. And I have been reading that on the war of the sexes that many women, and I say many, I mean, I read one post, that many women are choosing to withhold sex because of the election results. Well, there's this movement right in South Korea. It already happened.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Yeah, but they're mirroring that, I think, where it was like, the women in protest are just like giving up. Not giving it up. This is the answer, my friend. So sorry, Jeff, but I'm gonna now convince your wife that this is the answer. That's on our side.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Astrid's already been on this kick for like two months. She knew long before the election results. She said, this country's headed in the wrong direction. No sex for you. So there is a movement going on quietly, I think, online and in social media spaces. I don't think this is at the mainstream, some mainstream media places, but there is a group of women who have now decided they're going to copy what happened in Korea, in South Korea, I think, where the women did not like something having to do with autonomy over the body. I'm not
Starting point is 00:08:05 sure exactly what it was. Something about, I think something about birth control. I think I'm, I think I'm getting that right. See, this is where we need Christina in the studio. She can quickly Google it. Yeah, because it's hard for me to Google and talk at the same time, but something about that. And so now women in this country have decided to replicate what the South Korean women did, which is withhold any kind of sexual pleasure to a man until there is some changes in their political system. This is the answer. Now, it sounds crazy, but imagine if,
Starting point is 00:08:36 imagine if no one gave Trump a blowjob for like, you know, six years, four years. That guy. Tell them, why did you even bring that up? Well, listen, every, listen, it's well known that Trump likes a blowjob, whether someone wants to or not. You know, but imagine that you just withhold sex for a period of time. I think a lot of politicians would change their tune, quite frankly. That's my personal opinion. But why does it always fall on the women to,
Starting point is 00:09:05 you know, have to lead that charge? I don't know, Chrissy. The patriarchy is alive and well and still kicking. I do have to say that. And listen, I'm not some, like, you know, hardcore anti-patriarchy human being. That's just not me. I sit in the middle of the aisle and I consider myself like more of like a casual observer of things that are going on. I like the Monday morning quarterback. I like to talk about what happens after it happens, pretending that I know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm saying? But I do think that it's a really tough pill for some people to swallow that a woman might be in charge of this country, even though there are many countries around the world who have already done it.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Oh yeah, who already done it. Doesn't Mexico have a female president? Isn't like El Salvador had a female president? Didn't Argentina? Lots of people, lots of countries are doing it. Yeah. Was there a prime minister in the UK that was a woman for a period of Margaret Thatcher? Let's go back to Cleopatra. Honestly. And look, that civilization thrived. I mean, let's go back to Cleopatra. Honestly. I mean. And look, that civilization thrived. I mean, they thrived. They had beautiful flowers everywhere. Sure, some people died making those pyramids. But at the end of the day, at the end of the day, Cleopatra was, I think, universally understood
Starting point is 00:10:19 to be one of the more notable figures in history. And everything turned out, look at Maria Antoinette, was she somebody that read something? I think. Well, she got beheaded. Well, you know, it can't all be shits and giggles, Chrissy. Every once in a while, you're going to have a bad streak there. But I'm telling you right now, like, I cannot believe that in 2024, the most progressive country in the world, which is not the United States of America,
Starting point is 00:10:47 does not yet have, I think it's Sweden or something like that, does not yet have a female president, has not yet had a female president. Well, it's hard even just to believe that Kamala was the first woman vice president. It is hard to believe that. That's like, I thought about that just a few weeks ago
Starting point is 00:11:06 and was like, wait, is that right? Yeah, that's right. Right? Yeah, that is right. You are right about that. I think there was a candidate. No, there have been candidates. There have been candidates,
Starting point is 00:11:16 but I don't think anyone has ever been in office until Kamala. And good for her, and I think that's a step in the right direction. But let's be honest about the vice presidency. It doesn't mean shit. No one really cares about the vice president. No one votes for vice president of the United States.
Starting point is 00:11:31 It's about the president. It's about the candidate. I don't think anybody voted for Trump because of JD Vance. Quite frankly, I think it's the opposite. I don't think anybody voted for Kamala because of Tim Walz. He seems like a nice guy and he certainly knows how to rile up a crowd of people. But that wasn't who you were voting for. You were either voting for Kamala or voting for Trump. And so I don't think anybody was voting for Kamala. I think
Starting point is 00:11:52 they voted for Biden and Kamala came along with it. So having a female vice president is like a consolation prize. It's not really like anybody's doing anything significant, but it honestly blows my mind. on either side of the aisle, that we have yet had a female president of the United States. You would think that the time had come, right? Like a long time ago, you would think that the time had come. And who is that FBI director that we had? Janet Reno. Oh yeah. Remember Janet Reno? I forgot about that. Yeah, I think she was a terrible FBI director,
Starting point is 00:12:28 but we've had like really people that have much more power than the President of the United States in office at some point. Now I understand the FBI director is not elected, but still we've had some females that have really been have been pretty close to the button, if you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:12:46 And yet we can't just get over it and then elect. And I'm not saying that Kamala, like, okay, Kamala lost. I get it, right? But over the years, over the last 30, 40 years, we haven't had one qualified candidate, Clinton, Kamala. We haven't had like one other female that was that close to the presidency. It just surprises me. It really does. It really does. And so Chrissy for president. That's all I got to say. Totally for president.
Starting point is 00:13:14 No, thank you. You don't want to be the president? No. No? No, no, no. Why? Isn't it every person's dream to be the president of the United States at some point or the other? Never in your life have you ever thought, I'd like to be president of the United States. Never?
Starting point is 00:13:31 What is the top thing that you've aspired to? What if I, if you could do anything? Yeah, like, yeah, like, you know, some people, they want to be doctors, lawyers, firefighters. Astronauts? You want to go to space? Well, I wanted to. You did? Really? Well, I wanted to. You did? Mm-hmm. Really?
Starting point is 00:13:47 Well, it was a, you know. I would much rather be president of the United States. And I agree with you, by the way, I've never aspired to be president of the United States, but I've known from very early age that I have disqualified myself for being president of the United States. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:13:57 When I first made out with, I'm not even gonna say her name, when I first made out with this young lady in the church, when I was supposed to be an altar boy. I knew I've disqualified myself in so many different ways. Yeah, there's too many people that have too many stories, although apparently that doesn't matter anymore. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because stand-up doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Well, now I think I can be President of the United States, but I don't want to. I much prefer to talk on microphone back here. I have a lot less power, I have a lot less power to make actual decisions. But what do you, you wanted to be an astronaut? Yeah, I thought it would have been fun. I love space. I love stars. I love space and stars too. I have zero interest in going there. Zero interest. Well, now, you trashed it with all that Starlink bullshit. But, uh, I don't care too now, but I did when I was younger. Well, now it's a possibility that you could go to space. Yeah, well that's true. Now you could actually get up there.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Now you could take a ride, I mean if you had $6 million, you could actually take a ride up there. But you know, it seems very, I don't know, I mean I don't wanna diminish the accomplishment, but it seems very anticlimactic. I was gonna say that you just go up and then come back. Yeah, when you think about going to space, it's like I take a three year journey to Mars or something
Starting point is 00:15:03 and it's like, you know, meet aliens and, you know, have to live on board of this big ship that if somehow has gravity and a pool. Yeah, all the movies, all the movie stuff. Yeah, like I want a floating hotel. Like if you could take like the icon of the seas from Royal Caribbean and float it out into space for a couple of years, I'd be totally fine doing that. But right now, space seems very anticlimactic.
Starting point is 00:15:26 The ships are rather, I don't know, sparse of any furniture or anything like that. It doesn't seem like very much fun. Like it just go up and go down. Now, I understand you're gonna get a great view, which by the way, the world is round. People who, non-scientists have now been up there and have decided the world is round.
Starting point is 00:15:44 I didn't wonder where those flat earthers were. I don't know. There was a whole rage back in 2020. It really was. Now you probably haven't heard from them in a long time. Now we did a whole couple of shows on those. We'll get back to it. I actually did some research on this a couple days ago and they're still out there.
Starting point is 00:15:55 They are? Yeah, they're few and far between, but they're still out. They're not quite as loud and proud as they were before. Yeah, once a few commoners went up there, took a few photographs, yeah, and said, I really did go to space, I came back and the earth indeed is round, or at least the part that I saw is spherical. Some people, they just, all of a sudden they went away. Remember there was like that leader of the group and he was like, he said, flat earth, being a flat earther is great for my love life.
Starting point is 00:16:23 All right, right. Remember? He was the leader. being a flat earther is great for my love life. All right, right. Remember? You was the leader. Another male in charge of another group, another leader of some shit knock organization trying to convince people that the world is flat with edges. That's what happens.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Oh God. But anyway, I have zero interest in going to space as it stands right now. And I really did never want to be the president of the United States either. I think the most I aspire to ever be. Talk about being famous. I mean, you could never be anonymous. No. No. There is no corner of your life that won't get dug up. I mean, listen, in today's society, you can be anybody and there's no corner of your life that won't be dug up. I mean, listen, in today's society, you can be anybody, and there's no corner of your life that won't be dug up. That's just the reality of the world that we live in.
Starting point is 00:17:08 We almost live in like a weird dystopian nanny state where you can figure out, like a 13-year-old with a running knowledge of Linux SQL servers can probably figure out every bit of your life. And that's a weird world to live in, but it is the one we live in. Thank God they didn't have, you know, ring doorbells when I was making out with people in the church, you know what I'm saying? Exactly. Or FaceTime cameras or anything like that. Every, you know, but I never wanted to be president because I agree with you.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Like I never wanted to make those kinds of decisions on behalf of anybody, like big life-changing, world-changing, history-changing kinds of decisions on behalf of anybody, like big life-changing, world-changing, history-changing kind of decisions. And so the people who do want to be there are one of two people. They're either really altruistic or terrible fucking human beings. That's it. If you want that kind of power, you're like some weird, evil narcissist and welcome to 2024, 2025 I should say. I mean, that's the truth. And that's why I think everybody who runs for president should be met with a little bit of skepticism, just like a little bit of skepticism.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Yeah. You know, but now I don't think anything disqualifies you from being president. I think we're there. I think you can, I think we are full idiocracy. We are at full, we are at peak, idiocracy. I was bringing up that movie the other day. Well, I mean, listen, back to the future, the Simpsons and to some degree, idiocracy all called this. They called this. Now, I don't believe in- Wally.
Starting point is 00:18:41 Yeah. I don't believe in like, you know, I do believe in the multiverse, but I'm not going to get, let's just back up from that for just one second. I don't want to spend the next 30 minutes explaining that to anybody. But at the end, because I don't understand it myself, girlfriend. A little bit of this. A little bit of this and a little bit of that and wham! The multiverse Trump is president twice! And three times probably! Because I called it, I'm the quantum witch! And everything happens all at the same time! President Trump, 2037!
Starting point is 00:19:17 I forgot what I was saying. All those movies called this, and it seems really strange that they did, right? But I guess if you just had a little, if you went back to 1982 and you just had a little bit of common sense, you would have seen it coming a mile away. I mean, it's just where we're at. That's just where we're at. So, all right, kids. Well, turn on your star link and change some votes. And then when we come back, we're going to talk about, we're going to lighten it up a little bit. Yeah. Chrissy has gotten into the 90 day fiance.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Oh, did I? So, yeah, let's talk about it when we get back. Okay. In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner, and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast and go to our website, tcbpodcast.com
Starting point is 00:20:15 for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now please text us at 212-433-3TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet. This episode is sponsored in part by Zbiotics pre-alcohol. Let's face it, most of us are not 21 years old partying like we used to. We have to make the choice between a great night or a great morning after. At least that's what we thought, Chrissy and I, until we tried pre-alcohol. I don't drink a whole bunch anymore,
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Starting point is 00:22:13 commercial break. I'm Jenna Fisher and I'm Angela Kinsey. We are best friends and together we have the podcast Office Ladies where we rewatched every single episode of The Office with insane behind the scenes stories, hilarious guests, and lots of laughs. Guess who's sitting next to me, Steve! Ah!
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Starting point is 00:22:57 Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. Well we can't wait to see you there. Follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. All right. So, tell me, so Chrissy and I, after the election, were commiserating with each other via text message. And the first thing Chrissy said was, I the election, were commiserating with each other via text message. And the first thing Chrissy said was, I'm turning off the news. What's a good junkie TV show to get into?
Starting point is 00:23:30 And since I know all the junkie TV shows. Yeah, you were the first one to ask. Since I've got way too much time on my hands with 13 children, two jobs, and a partridge in a pear tree. I said, hey, Chrissy, why don't you turn on 90 Day Fiancé? Before the 90. Before the 90 days. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:51 And she has. We were talking about this last week. There was a guy that is a paraplegic. Well, I think he's actually quadriplegic, but he has use of his hands. Just not full use. Not full use. He can't like move his fingers all the way. But, so the guy really has a tough life. Like, but he seems to do well on his own. He seems to be fully independent. He turned around, he played professional rugby and went to all these other countries. Meanwhile, okay, so yeah, let's just go into talking about him first. Okay, so he is married, he is wanting to get married.
Starting point is 00:24:19 He's been married four times. He's been married four times? I missed that part. Four times! Four? Yes. I'm sorry part four times for yes I'm sorry. You must be an asshole. How do you get married? I mean unless you're getting married to the same person over and over again like Chrissy's parents did right getting married four times I think signals that your either your picker is off or something's wrong with you
Starting point is 00:24:39 Don't you think yeah like married fort or you just really love getting married four times? Yeah, I thought that So this is his fifth? This will be his fifth if it goes through. No, shit, wow. I think that's what they said. I'm pretty sure. Okay, I didn't catch that, but then again, I'm in here doing a million different things
Starting point is 00:24:56 while I'm watching sometimes. Yeah, no, I know. Plus they're speaking Portuguese, so you have to be watching it to- Yes, you do. You do have to read the captions. So she is from Brazil? Is it Brazil?
Starting point is 00:25:08 I think I said Mexico last week and I was wrong. She's from Brazil. Cause I watched last night's episode. Yeah, and she seems really sweet. I do like her. Yeah, I do like her too. So he is now down in Brazil, at least in the show. He is now down in Brazil and he is doing the obligatory,
Starting point is 00:25:22 meeting of the family and hanging. They're meeting for the first time face to face. And he's trying to get to know her life down. Friends. They're meeting for the first time face to face. Yeah. And he's trying to get to know her life down there. They're all meeting for the first time face to face on the show. They've been usually started up a video relationship. I guess, I think they've been together like four months
Starting point is 00:25:37 or something like that before he even went down there. I don't know. I don't know either. But he, so you can imagine that as a quadriplegic, he has a life that's much different than people who are not quadriplegic. There's a lot of things to think about that are much different, including literally just taking a shit in the morning. Like there are things that are much different and he's got to go down there to some degree
Starting point is 00:26:00 to show her what it's like to live with him because it's not, because she's going to need to care for him in some respect. Yeah, he's very independent, but. But, not 100% independent, because when you're quadriplegic, I can't imagine you are 100% independent ever, right? So he goes down there, perfectly lovely young lady. She has a daughter, she's divorced. She seems like she cares for this guy genuinely,
Starting point is 00:26:26 but there are the bumps and bruises that come along with living these two very different lifestyles. One abled and one handicapped, there's just two very different lifestyles. But you know, people are people no matter whether they're in a wheelchair or not, and some people are just dumb. And this guy, I don't know, sometimes he doesn't seem like the brightest bulb. He seems like a sharp guy. But then he does stuff like, we talked about this last week. They go to make love at some point and she says, do you have a condom? To which he replies, no, I don't have a condom. They don't show this part, they talk about it afterwards.
Starting point is 00:26:59 He says, no, I don't have a condom. First of all, how do you not have a condom on you? Well, also too, I have to go back to that because in the first few, it might have been the first episode or the second episode, he's showing her, you know, kind of what has to happen and he mentions that he has to use a condom to put on the catheter. Oh, I missed that part too. Yes, I was like, how did he not have the condom again? Anyways. Okay, so wait, so he has to use a, he used to use a condom to put over the catheter. There was something about the condom with the catheter and things.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Oh, so he doesn't hurt her. Like, so... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how catheter works. I have to go back. Thank God I've never had one. That was like in the first or second episode, number 10 now. Oh, really? God, I should have... You should have been the one talking about this all along. Look at me, I just breeze over facts. I'm like, I just fill in the gaps with bullshit.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Wow, okay, all right. So not only should he have a condom, but then he really needs a condom to even make love. And he's been really excited about this from like episode number one. He's ready to get it on. He brought the blue pill, he's ready to get it up. Apparently he can have sex.
Starting point is 00:28:03 And then he doesn't have one. Yeah, then he's not prepared. So at least in the, you know, the kind of the cutaway, the after event conversation to the camera, he explains that then he decides, he tells her, I'm going to go down on you. Let me, you know, let me lick you up. Let me do that. Yeah. And she says, no, I'm not ready. I'm going to lick you boom boom down. Lick you boom boom down. I lick you up. Let me do that. Yeah. And she says, no, I'm not ready. I'm gonna lick your boom boom down. Lick your boom boom down.
Starting point is 00:28:26 I lick your boom boom down. Informa. Informa. I lick your boom boom down. What does that even mean? Yeah. I lick your boom boom down. He was not booming, booming down.
Starting point is 00:28:34 No, he was not licking her boom boom down. No, he was not. No, no, he was not. No, he was not. No, he was not. No, he was not. No, he was not. No, he was not.
Starting point is 00:28:42 No, he was not. No, he was not. No, he was not. No, he was not. No, he was not. No, he was down. No, he was not. No, no. So there's an argument. So she says, yeah, so there's an argument. Chrissy and I talked about this to some degree. And wasn't there a call, like a caller who wrote in and said that he wanted to have oral sex with his girlfriend? Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Oh, that's how we connected these two stories. That's right. Yeah. So she says no. Yeah, for a lot of women, that's even more intimate than having penetrative sex. So yeah, so she just wasn't ready and he took it as a rejection, but then he called his sister. His sister said, nah, look, that's a very, very intimate thing and don't take it as a rejection. So. So he goes and he apologizes, but then they come to the next stumble,
Starting point is 00:29:26 which is that the mother, now you gotta remember. Oh, the mother, that's right. This is in Brazil. And like, let's just be real frank about this. Six hours, I think, from like the nearest city or something. Six hours from a major town. Yeah. It's not like they live in the middle of nowhere,
Starting point is 00:29:42 but they live in the middle of nowhere. You know what I'm saying? Like halfway in the middle of nowhere. They probably have a the middle of nowhere. You know what I'm saying? Like the halfway in the middle of the nowhere. Yes. It's like, they probably have a store somewhere, but it's probably a local Mercado. It's, you know, they don't have all the accoutrements
Starting point is 00:29:53 of living in a major, it's not Rio de Janeiro. That's not where they're living. So the mother, you know, comes in from even further in the middle of fucking nowhere to come in and, you know, drives three hours. The father is supposed to be there. The father doesn't show up. The mother comes in and he is the guy in the middle of fucking nowhere to come in and, you know, drives three hours. The father's supposed to be there. The father doesn't show up. The mother comes in and he is, the guy,
Starting point is 00:30:09 the witch is trying to be very polite and she fucking ices him. Doesn't talk to him, barely says a word. Doesn't eat the dinner with them. Then the girlfriend cooks a really nice lunch and they go to sit outside to eat it and she is begging her mother to come sit down and have lunch and her mother's like,
Starting point is 00:30:26 no, I don't want to, I'm not interested. I don't want to talk to him because let's be honest about it, he's in a wheelchair. That's just it. She doesn't like the guy because he's in a wheelchair. Maybe she claims that it's because he's American, but you know, I mean, the guy seems nice enough. I don't think there's anything to do.
Starting point is 00:30:40 I think that's an convenient excuse as to why, I mean, I don't think there's anything to do. I think that's an convenient excuse as to why, I mean, this 90 day fiance, they find, they find the most ridiculous stories with the most ridiculous people every fucking time. I know, how do they do it? I mean, these people- It's formulaic at this point. Well, do these people write in
Starting point is 00:31:02 and say we wanna be on here? Like, I'm curious as to this process. Oh, of course they do. This is like, love is blind. No one on this show doesn't want to be famous. Do you know what I'm saying? That's it. They have jumped the shark.
Starting point is 00:31:14 There is no pure, true love story here. They all want to be famous because no one, and I promise you no one, volunteers to put their love story on camera. You never know what's going to happen. You could get dumped. You could find out that she's cheating on you. You could have erectile dysfunction. I mean, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:33 It's all going to be out there for the world to see. And so all of these people want to be famous to some degree. Can you imagine you and I dating, you're off in England and I'm here, and I call you up and I say, hey, can I bring cameras? We've never met before in person, only had this online relationship, but yeah, let's put it out there for the whole world. So Astrid and I had a relationship very much like this. I thought about you guys.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Not a chance in hell would I have put that on camera. Not a chance in hell. And we had a pretty like milk toast relationship compared to some of these people, but not a chance in hell. And we had a pretty, like, milk toast relationship compared to some of these people, but not a chance in hell. Astrid's mom hated me when we first met. She hated me. She cried because I came. Yes, I'm not even kidding. Her mom cried. I took Astrid, Astrid and I met over the phone, you know, communicating via text message on Facebook. I gave her a Spanish paragraph that I had terribly, that I had poorly translated to introduce myself and she responded in English, I speak English. But nice try, you know what I'm saying? Anyway, so then we communicate for like three, four months straight.
Starting point is 00:32:45 We communicate nonstop, 24 hours a day, pretty much from the moment that we started communicating. And then she's coming to the United States to visit her aunt, just happens to, she already had this trip planned long before I met her. Well, she comes, we, and her mom is also there with her. We get introduced, I stay there for the weekend, I even take her mom out, like we go on our first date. How was it? I have a question about this because I was noting how much I really enjoy the airport meets. Yes. That's always so hopeful. Yes. Well, they run to each other and here I'll share a little bit of touch and hug and love.
Starting point is 00:33:25 And they run to each other and can touch and hug and love. I'm curious like how, what was it when you guys met in person? Yeah, well, within a couple of weeks of knowing her, I knew that this trip was coming up. Maybe it was not three or four months. Maybe it was like two or three months. I knew that this trip was coming up. And she said, when I come to United States, now her aunt is in North Carolina and I was in here.
Starting point is 00:33:44 I had been going to North Carolina and I was in here. I had been going to North Carolina to visit my best friend's father who was married to Astrid's aunt. That is how we connected, right? So I had been driving back and forth to see my best friend's father who was dying of cancer at the time. So it took about, it takes about three and a half, four hours to get up there. So, asterisk of the day comes and I am planning to be there. And because everybody in the family has now gotten word that this meeting is going to happen, there are literally 20 people in North Carolina at this aunt's house waiting for me to show up. I am driving my,
Starting point is 00:34:24 and by the way, I had that shitty little Honda with no head, you know, one headlight torn off, like half a car. I mean, imagine me driving down the road with half a car, like split open on the side. I literally, one headlight just dangling off, taped up. I mean, it was like the shittiest Honda Accord. The first car that I owned paid off.
Starting point is 00:34:46 I had owned it for years. I never got it fixed because I was like, I'm taking the $4,000 and going on vacation. Fuck this. I'm not paying to get that shit fixed. It was like 186,000 miles on it. Anyway, it wasn't that old. I just drove a lot. I just like would drive in circles because I didn't know what to do with myself
Starting point is 00:35:06 ADHD and full of so This is a no shit story a week before Astrid gets here I walk outside of that house I had down down in East Atlanta. Yeah, and I go I just can't I just And I go, I just can't, I just can't bring that thing up there. That was a good call. That's when you got the other car. I got a Kia, a brand new Kia. I came over one day and I was like, oh, you got a new car. Because I'm like in six days, this woman that I love is going to show up and I can't impress her when there's no passenger seat for her to sit in.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Or door to open for her. That's right. When you have to get in from the driver's side, it's just, it's got to have the same look and feel as my four-door sedan that looks safe and sturdy. And I think I paid like 13% interest because I needed it that day. And here's the funniest story. There was like mass confusion. Like the dealership was so interested in getting me
Starting point is 00:36:10 out the door with this car. And I was so interested in getting out the door with this car that the guy forgot to take the down payment. Like, you know, you know, you signed the contract. I shit you not. The finance guy forgot to run my credit card for like the $3,000 I was putting down in the car. So like three days later, I start getting these
Starting point is 00:36:33 like desperate phone calls from the manager. We're coming to repossess the car if you don't show up at the dealership. And so on the way to go meet Astrid, I had to go up to fucking Gwinnett, 70 miles away from East Atlanta to like swipe my credit card for this payment. It was like, it was the weirdest thing. It was so weird.
Starting point is 00:36:54 And they somehow thought I had like, you know, gotten away with it. And I was like, no one ever asked. I don't know. Exactly. You gave me the keys. I've only bought one other car. I got co-signed by my mother-in-law at the time. So, anyway, 20 people waiting in North Carolina.
Starting point is 00:37:14 I tell her I'm going to be up there at like, I don't know, 6 or 7 o'clock, whatever time I tell them. I'm going to leave after traffic. I left after traffic and I said I was going to be there at 8 o'clock and I don't think I showed up until 930. Let me explain why. Not because the traffic was bad, but because I was so incredibly nervous that I started driving around North Carolina. Putting the miles on that new car. Listening to music, like trying to, you know, texting with Astrid, trying to get
Starting point is 00:37:41 settled down a little bit, smoking cigarettes like it was going out of style. Like I was, you know, stopping at the gas station to rub myself with, you know, car scented, you know, those little trees so I didn't smell like cigarette smoke. I swear to God. When really in reality, you just smell like cigarettes and whatever you're trying to mask. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:38:02 So I open the door, so I get there, I pull in, I am about as nervous as I have ever been. I bet. And I walk to the front door of this very nice house in North Carolina and I open up the door and there is these 20 people sitting in the family room. Hola! Yeah, I know, and they're like,
Starting point is 00:38:21 Hola, hey, que pasa, amiga, hola, hey, Brian's here, hey, woo! and there's even like friends of friends are there. Like, it was like watching 90 Day Fiance on TV. It was in real life. Right there in real life, right? And Astrid was in the kitchen. So I walk through, I say hello to everybody. Astrid is standing there in the kitchen and she comes out in the hallway and we have one really nice incredible hug, kiss on the cheek and a really energetic, love-filled hug that was about, it felt as good as it looks on TV sometimes, right? Sometimes you watch those things on TV and you're like, wow, that's a really, you know, you're just letting out months of like kind of pent up energy. And then there's always-
Starting point is 00:39:06 It's a patient. Yeah, here's the thing that I think can't get conveyed on television, but is in one of the stories playing out right now, and I'll explain in a second. You don't know whether or not Rachel and I have called this the smell, quote unquote. You don't know if the smell is gonna be there.
Starting point is 00:39:22 And it's a true thing. Absolutely. Are the pheromones going to connect? Because you can have all the love in the world while you're writing text messages, talking on the phone. And by the way, Astrid and I had done very little FaceTiming or sending of pictures. We had done that, but we didn't do that as a, like as a, it's just a general rule. We weren't FaceTiming each other.
Starting point is 00:39:40 We were just text messaging. Now we certainly sent pictures back and forth, but not many. But you don't know whether or not that smell is gonna be there. And if you don't connect physically in person, then you're fucked, it's not happening, right? Yeah, you can't make, manufacture that. And I think to some degree, that's why I decided to put extra miles on that car,
Starting point is 00:39:59 is first of all, it was brand new, I'd literally gotten it that day. Like I literally legally got it that day. But then the other thing was, I really was enjoying myself in this conversation, this continuous conversation that was going on with Astrid, and I didn't want to lose that. And I knew that there was a 50% chance that this weekend, these couple days, I could lose that, right? Could just go south and we just, you know, it kind of fades away, but it didn't, it heated up and that's, that's what happened. But anyway, so when I went there, so I said to Astrid, uh, when I got there, I said, listen, you're here for
Starting point is 00:40:32 two weeks. This is, you're at the beginning of the trip. Like if you want to, and if it's okay with you and if you think it's appropriate, I'll spend a couple of days here in North Carolina and we'll just kind of get to know each other a little bit. We'll drive around the city. We'll drive around the city in my brand new Kia. That's all I can afford to do since I just bought a brand new Kia. We'll drive around the city for a little while. I know this cute little gas station.
Starting point is 00:40:56 That's right. I think we went to like downtown like Williams, not Williamsburg, but I forgot where it was. Charlotte? No, not Charlotte. It was up in, what's another historic city up there? I'll think of it on the break. But we just like drove around and we went to, you know, this little town, Cobblestone streets, I don't know. And then we took her mom to like the science museum and went and had some fun for a day, just to get to know her mom, because her mom was there too. So adding to the level of complexity is the aunt, the mom, the 20 friends, everybody.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Well, I gotta give her aunt credit, because her aunt was cheering us on the entire time. And I asked her, do you wanna come back to Atlanta with me for a couple of days? And I'll bring you back whenever you're ready to come back. Three days, like let's just go to Atlanta three days, you meet some of my friends,
Starting point is 00:41:44 we can hang out at my house or whatever. Freeing up the situation a little bit from all of the people kind of breathing over her. And the morning, I'm staying in a hotel and I came back to come, she said yes, and I came back and I came to grab her that morning and the house was empty. It was Astrid's mom, Astrid's aunt, Astrid and me.
Starting point is 00:42:03 And they had an upstairs like loft area and I came in the house and Astrid came down the stairs and she looked a little bit upset. And then the aunt was in the kitchen and the aunt goes, Brian, Brian. She sounds exactly like this by the way. I do a perfect impression. Brian, Brian, it's time to go, go, go.
Starting point is 00:42:19 And I'm like, what? And she's like, go, go, go now. You guys need to go, bye bye, see you later. Go and don't worry about anything. I'll take care of it. Go, go, go, go, go. She was like pushing us out the door. And I'm like, what is going on? Right? And then I can hear Astrid and her mom are bickering at each other, but in Spanish, but I can't understand it. It's too fast. It's too loud. And literally, Medihe, my aunt's name, my aunt-in-law, is like, okay, goodbye. see you later. And I get in the car and I'm like, what's going on here? Because I could tell something's off.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Yeah. And I asked her, it's just my mom, I don't want to talk about it, let's go. And so we go. When we came back a week later, we stayed, she stayed a couple extra days, a week later, her mom was so fucking pissed at me. Her mom was so upset, crying, screaming. Like it was just like, oh. I can't even imagine. because of course I am. Well, listen, you just took my daughter away, you're some strange man in the United States of America, just by the way, a little bit older, just took my daughter away, you know,
Starting point is 00:43:15 400 miles away. And, you know, I don't know you, like, but Astrid was an adult, like, what can you do? I mean, it's just the way that the, you way that some families are, but it all ended up working out. So I stood there and I just took it. And I just through MediAhe communicated my intentions or my lack of intentions or whatever, kind of explained who I was and how we, what all this blah, blah, blah, blah. And they had known that this was going on,
Starting point is 00:43:40 like we were communicating. They had everybody, yeah, they were all like, sitting there in stadium seat style, waiting for Astrid and I to make out in front of them. Like, I mean, come on. They knew what was going on. But it was just like, it was a misunderstanding. Now, you know, Astrid's mom and I,
Starting point is 00:43:57 we are the chummiest of chum. We love each other. But those situations are so very difficult. But we had the most milk-toast version of this, that, and then trying to win her father over are like the most difficult parts of this whole thing for the two of us. In 90 days, ay Brian, he's been saying that since the fucking day. Yeah, you never actually won him over. No, no, no, not yet. I'm hoping by the time I'm dead, or he's dead, and one of us are dead.
Starting point is 00:44:26 I'm about his age, so by the time I'm dead, shut the hell up there. But at the same time, like 90-day fiance, they pick the craziest of situations. Guy in wheelchair, girl in Brazil doesn't speak any English with a mom that hates everybody. You know what I'm saying? Brazil doesn't speak any English with a mom that hates everybody. You know what I'm saying? Two lesbians in England, one has an anxiety disorder and can barely leave the house, and the other one is a hippie who doesn't want to work for a living. It's like there's no chance this is working out. No chance! And they buy a van and decide to travel around Europe. One can't leave the passenger seat because she's crippled by anxiety, and the other one's like, let's go to a nudist camp.
Starting point is 00:45:08 It's like, what the fuck is going on? It's never gonna work out. 90 Day Fiancé producers know exactly what they're looking for. Oh, they do. And man, do these stories really, some of them can really shine. They end up being really funny.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Anyway, let's take a break. We're way over. Let's take a break, and we'll be back. In a shocking turn of events, it's me again, Christina, your producer and resident rom-com lover here at The Commercial Break. And I just have one thing to say. I'm just a producer standing in front of an audience, asking you to follow us on Instagram, at The Commercial Break and on TikTok, at TCB Podcast. Text us or call us and leave us a voicemail because when you realize you wanna spend
Starting point is 00:45:49 the rest of your life with TCB, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. And while you're at it, go to our website, tcbpodcast.com, but you don't have to because we like you just as you are. Now, if you immediately got those references, you're my kind of person,
Starting point is 00:46:04 but it's time to take a break and listen to some sponsors and then we'll get back to the show. just as you are. Now, if you immediately got those references, you're my kind of person, but it's time to take a break and listen to some sponsors and then we'll get back to the show. All right, a couple of things for the audience. Before we keep on going. Keep on going, like we're gonna stop. Okay, let's get to the show, talk to you later. A couple of things for the audience, I'm posing this to you. I have two questions,
Starting point is 00:46:27 or I have two favors to ask. One, I want to know what you see as red flags in a relationship. And I don't mean obvious red flags. He went to jail for murder. I mean like subtle red flags in a relationship, relationships that you've been in. If you could text us, 212-4333-TCB. Text us because I want to do an episode about this. We've gotten a couple of Ask TCBs about red flag, green flag, and I want to kind of mix that in and make a little bit of, maybe even make an episode out of it. But I want to know, I know my subtle red flag, swear now that I'm looking back on it, maybe not so subtle. But I'd love to do an episode on that next week. So if you could text us in, 212-433-3TCB, I'd appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Number two, I am considering, we are considering, don't even put this in the book, Chrissy. We are considering- Where is that book? I don't even know. Where did the book go? Oh, it's back there. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:47:15 I am considering doing, we record on certain days here at certain times. And I am considering in 2025, allowing Twitch to view in on one of these episodes per week, allowing you to communicate and be interactive with us one day a week. Now that may not be convenient for your job, but we'll tell you more about that as we get on. If we did a live Twitch stream once a week while we're recording an episode that is going to come out in the future, would you be willing to watch and interact with us?
Starting point is 00:47:47 212-4333-TCB, please let us know. I would appreciate it. I wanna hear what the audience has to say before I even, before I even like put any hard brain power to this. We're making a lot of changes here at TCB. And before we add yet another one, I wanna make sure it's worth it. Because we've done live things before, like Clubhouse and end up with seven people in the room because it's like noon on a Tuesday and they're like,
Starting point is 00:48:10 I don't have time to do this. So here's what I want to talk about next while we're on the TV kick. Guru Joget. Oh yes. I got caught up on that too. Oh my God. If you are not watching the Breath of Fire, you are missing out on understanding Brian in some small way, and I'll explain why. I have been to not this particular version of Kundalini Yoga, but I have been to a disciple of the original Yogi Bajran. Yogi Bajran, one of the disciples, one of the people who followed Yogi Bajran around, I have been to her level one and level two workshops called the Cobra Breath workshops. Now, I'm not going to get too much into it. Some of it, you're like sworn to secrecy, right? Why? I don't
Starting point is 00:49:08 know. Because you paid $2,000 for it and they want to keep on charging, I think. I don't know. But let me explain, we talked a little bit about this last week, but let me explain, or did we talk about this? Was it just you and I? We did a little bit. Okay. There's a young lady in LA who has been selling and serving up a certain type of meditation and yoga called Kundalini Yoga. Her name is Guru Jagat. She is taking the teachings of a guy named Yogi Bajran and continuing that practice. Yogi Bajran came to the United
Starting point is 00:49:47 States back in the 60s. He was not a yogi. He was a Pakistani customs official, but because he was dressed the way he was dressed and everyone was looking for the next guru because everyone's like summer of love in the hippies, the 60s and the 70s, all of a sudden people started thinking that he… Mm hmm, following him. Yeah, following him because for some reason, you know, he was the next God because of the way that he dressed with the turban and the white robes and the whole nine yards. He was a Sikh. So, he went through the 70s and 80s and he very much made a living for Himself doing this. There was a couple problems with this. He got a huge following, by the way. He had these disciples,
Starting point is 00:50:33 He had thousands, tens of thousands of people who studied this, He encouraged people to go out and do business, have businesses that did good in the world, and some of them did. And office supplies. And office supplies. And some of them did not. And most of them worked directly for him under his guise, under his direction. He was a con artist. A sexual predator. A sexual predator of epic proportions. He was taking the daughters of some of his disciples and turning them into his sex slaves at very early ages, 16, 17 years old. Yeah, it was awful.
Starting point is 00:51:05 One of them speaks directly about it in this documentary. He was also running drugs, even though one of his dictates was to never drink alcohol, drugs, or tobacco. So, the things, by the way, he was a yogi that never did yoga. He didn't even know how to do it. He was making it up almost whole cloth the entire time. Now, I have done this type of yoga and I do have to tell you, here to tell you, with a clear head, now, with a clear head, that there is some kind of physiological alteration that goes on when you do this kind of breath work. They talk about that.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Oh, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's a high. And I do believe it opens you up to some kind of spiritual experience, some kind of connection in the universe energetically that you may not otherwise have on a day-to-day basis. I think part of that is you're just giving time to like pay attention to your body and where you're at.
Starting point is 00:52:02 I think maybe a little bit of it is magic or spirituality, whatever you want, faith, whatever you want to call it. Jared Sussman Well, breath work in general. Jared Sussman I mean, it's yoga, right? It's meditation. It's yoga. Jared Sussman Yeah. Jared Sussman But there is a whole cadre of horseshit that comes along with this stuff. Jared Sussman Oh, yeah. Jared Sussman This young lady, this Guru Bajra.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Jagat. Jagat, who is out in LA, started some hipster fucking yoga center, meditation retreat center. And by the way, the documentary is not over, I've not seen the last of it. Yeah, well she also calls it like science something, the science institute.
Starting point is 00:52:43 No, she calls it technology. Technology, yeah. She calls Kundalini Yoga technology that she is using, you know, technology of the future and all that stuff. Not technology. It's breathing and waving your arms in the air like a mad person is really what it is. But all of these people who are leading these places, they seem to find a way to make it financially make sense for them and not for you because you need to pay for spiritual enlightenment. And the more you pay, the higher you go. It's fucking Scientology all over again. And this is the problem I have sometimes with New Age spirituality. New Age spirituality in a time when dogma makes less and less sense to people, meaning
Starting point is 00:53:34 walking into the Catholic Church and kneeling down and standing up and kneeling down and standing up and body of Christ and all that bullshit is convoluted. It's old world and it doesn't make a lot of sense to a lot of younger folks like myself. You're looking for something more connective, more energetic and less talky, right? And less preachy, and less, you know, original sin, I'm going to die, guilt-ridden bullshit that a lot of Christianity and other places have to offer. You're looking for a very positive vibe, I can do anything, I'm ready to take on the world, I'm connected to everybody.
Starting point is 00:54:12 You're doing good. Yeah, you're doing good. There is no specific God, we're all just a part of the same thing. I believe in all that. The problem is, is that when you start looking at one person as the way into that kind of connection, you are now into the same problem that you had with the original church, with the dogma, which is you for some reason are not good enough to be connected directly. You have to go through someone else, listen to someone else, pay someone else, watch someone else, do someone else, watch someone else, do someone else, in order to get there. And it all, at the end of the day, becomes about power and money.
Starting point is 00:54:50 So these gurus, quote-unquote, these yogis, these whatever they are, they all end up consolidating power and money in an effort to enrich themselves and make themselves more powerful while the flock suffer. That's it. There are plenty of ways to get that connection if you do your research without ever having to pledge allegiance to anyone at all, period sentence. I did it. I did it. And when I got involved in situations where I had to pay money for some reason, for some, you know, retreat, some whatever, I never really felt great about it, but I also understood that people's time is worth something.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Yeah, it was their business. Yeah, but I refused to keep that collection plate circling around the church, if you know what I mean. Like, okay, one time I want to go and I want to learn a specific technique for breathing or, you know, I want to connect with okay, one time I want to go and I want to learn a specific technique for breathing or, you know, I want to connect with people or whatever. Does I understand there's time and costs and money involved in putting all these things together? And this is this person's job.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Okay. But like, like without thinking about it, just giving 20% of my paycheck every week to you for what reason you're buying Prada and telling me about the Mercedes brand new Mercedes you got while I'm struggling to make ends meet. But don't worry. It'll all come back to you someday. This prosperity fucking preaching bullshit. It is just on a different new age schedule.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Multi-level marketing scheme with enlightenment at the top. And who doesn't want that? scheme with enlightenment at the top and who doesn't want that? I mean honestly it's the most age-old fucking bullshit in the world and it drives me crazy that the people who are the preachiest about this right are doing the thing that they hate most which are promoting the thing that they hate most which is the dogma and and hierarchy of it all it ends up being the hate most, which is the dogma and hierarchy of it all. It ends up being the same fucking bullshit with just a different fucking wig on.
Starting point is 00:56:50 That's it. That's it. This- Well, I mean, it's like with the people, we were just talking about who would wanna be president, the types of people that wanna be president, same type of thing. A lot of these people are just super narcissistic
Starting point is 00:57:02 and want the power. They want the power. They want the power and the money. And I don't doubt that somewhere deep down at some point this Guru Jagat had some good intentions. I don't doubt that at all. I really don't. But when even her parents are on the documentary talking about how she ran into the arms of the devil, essentially is what, I'm putting words in their mouth, but that's what they said, is that she turned into the thing she didn't want to be. Then you got to understand that like, there's a lot of false prophets on this earth for
Starting point is 00:57:38 a lot of different things, not just New Age spiritual religions. There's a lot of false prophets on this earth, and they may open up your mind in some way, they may do some good for you in some way, but like pledging allegiance to them blindly never leads to good things. Name one cult story that you've heard that has turned out fantastically. Which cult has turned out fantastically? Including the cult of liberalism and Trump. Name how that's all ending terribly. It's all ending terribly. It really is. At the And I think about this a lot. These like New Age spiritual, like, you know, guru types, blah, blah, blah, open up your mind, you know, the reality is only what you make it and other people are twisting your reality and your reality is reality and unreality is unreality and the truth isn't truth, but it's part of the facts and all, all, all, is that these are some of the things that you're going to be able to do in your life. And I think
Starting point is 00:58:19 that's the thing that I love about this book, and I think that's the thing that I love about it, and I think that's the thing that reality is reality and unreality is unreality and the truth isn't truth but it's part of the facts and la la la. Is that these are some of the same people who start questioning, like science, you know what I'm saying? Like questioning like hardcore scientific facts. Yeah, I've seen it all up and down my Facebook, all of a sudden, and everything's like, the fix is in, we're all being manipulated by everybody else. It just, when you open your mind so far, Chrissy, then all the shit comes rolling in. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like opening up a trash can. Eventually, it's going to stink. Eventually, someone's going to throw something
Starting point is 00:59:01 in there. Someone's throwing dog shit in there, it's gonna happen. You gotta close your trash can every once in a while. This Guru Jagat documentary has got me fired the fuck up. I bet. Because it's so close to the bone. I know some of these characters. While I was watching it, I was like, Brian and I need to talk about this more. Yeah, we do know a lot of them. Oh my God. Yeah, there's a lineage, yeah, that's way, that's floating really close to our universe, right? And we've seen them and we've been there and we've done this and we've, I've been to the retreats, I've done the breath of fire, what we call the fire breath. I've done this stuff and it works, which is the craziest part. It really does. They talk about in this documentary part about how some of the people that worked at this Yogi, Rama Yoga Center that this girl opened in LA, their job after class
Starting point is 00:59:53 was to convince people to spend more money. Yes, because of the state that they were in. The state that they were in. That's right. And here's the craziest part. When I went to level one training, level one Tantra yoga training. The Cobra? The Cobra Breath, right? Which works, which works. Swear to God, it does. It's the craziest thing. I mean, it works to open up some kind of energy channel and I don't know what it is and I'm not claiming I know what it is. Don't follow me because I don't know shit, right? I don't know what it is, and I'm not claiming I know what it is, and don't follow me because I don't know shit, right? I don't want any followers except for the kind on Facebook and, you know, YouTube and
Starting point is 01:00:29 Instagram. When I went to this, I was there for like, I don't know, maybe the first day I was there for like six hours, right? And the first three hours are very intense. You do a couple of exercises with other people that are very intense. This is not the prostate massage part, by the way. You do these things that are very intense, and then for an hour, you do this kind of fire breath stuff,
Starting point is 01:00:55 right, this like introduction to fire breath. And then you take a break, and then you go back and you do more of it. So you're in six hours of like really intense kind of breath work, introspection, meditation, staring contests, which if you've never done that, try that with your loved one. And I mean, staring contest. I mean, look into someone's eyes. Look into any human being's eyes for 30 minutes, and if you don't cry, you are a psychopath, you should get checked out. Then you do the six hours and on the way out the door, I'll never forget that my best friend tells me, be careful with your energy tonight. Don't run out into a crowd of people. Don't go
Starting point is 01:01:36 to a party. Stay away from the bars. Be careful with your energy tonight. And I go home to my- Because you were so open. Because I was in some kind of state. And I go home to my fiance at the time, who had never done any kind of this, any of this stuff, right? And I instantaneously felt pricked, like a sharp prick from my fiance, because she just wasn't in the same state that I was in. And she said, let's go out to dinner. Not that she was being mean, she wasn't, but it was just, I'm just telling you what I experienced. And she says, let's go out to dinner. Not that she was being mean, she wasn't, but it was just, I'm just telling you what I experienced. And she says, let's go out to our favorite restaurant here, Houston's, right? And so we go out to Houston's and Chrissy, I will
Starting point is 01:02:13 never forget. It was like sharp, it was like I was a pin cushion and sharp needles from every direction. The sound, the lights, the noise, the music, the people around me talking about their silly lives and their silly shit. I could hear it all, I could sense it all, I could see it all, and it was like, you're harshing my vibe, bro! Right! That's what it was like! It was like, mellow out, dudes! Right? Yeah. It was true! It was true. I was in an altered state of some form or fashion. And listen,
Starting point is 01:02:43 I got a lot out of it. Doesn't mean everybody does, but I got a lot out of it. But if someone had asked me for $500 at that time in my life, when I was 20 something years old, asked me for $500 to keep that vibe going, I might have given it to them. I might have given it, I didn't have it, but I might have, you know, thought about how I would give it to them for sure. So these people, their whole job was to take other human beings in that state and convince them gently that the more money you spend, the longer this can last, the deeper you can go, the better your feel. And for people who are vulnerable at some point in
Starting point is 01:03:18 their life, in some kind of lost version of themselves, isn't that what we all want? Isn't that what we all want? Isn't that what we all want, Chrissy? Well, I love one of the sayings that one of the, because they've got like some psychiatrists, psychologists, journalists, other people that are weighing in on things. They say, you know, like in your 20s, your 20s are kind of culty. You're kind of looking for something. Looking for everything. Everything, yeah. That's why you're most powerful and most vulnerable, I think, energetically in your 20s, right? Is because you really are open to anything and vulnerable and persuadable.
Starting point is 01:03:56 As you get into your 30s and sometimes your 40s, you become a little bit more hardened. You've been through it. You've been scammed and taken, thrown around the corner and taken advantage of, and you understand some things that are good and some things that you like. You're a little bit older, a little bit wiser. Not that much, but a little bit. But you're less, I think, vulnerable to this kind of stuff because you go, I've seen this. I see how this story plays out. Right? I've seen that documentary on Google Jagat and I believe it. And I'm not saying that there's no good in...
Starting point is 01:04:31 I thought the same thing as I was watching that. I thought, you know, like, whatever people get out of it, okay, great. I mean, if it's doing you good, great. But yeah, like when you're pleading allegiance and just, you know, blindly paying all this money to attain this higher state, you don't need to be doing that. Or worse, giving your children to the guru so he can have sex with them. That's like fucking insane. That one lady in that, first of all, she's absolutely stunningly beautiful. She must be in her late 40s or something at this point.
Starting point is 01:05:03 She is stunningly beautiful. And I don't mean like, oh, she's super hot, I want to fuck her. That's not what I mean. I mean like as a physical creature. She's even wearing like the headpiece. The turban, yeah. And her eyes are like piercing. Her skin is gorgeous.
Starting point is 01:05:18 Oh my God. It's so fucked up with this not guru jagat, the girl who started Rama, but her teacher or her, you know, the Guru who started all of this, Yogi Bajran. He sexually assaulted this girl from the time that she was quote unquote an adult, which they don't say the actual age, but I'm assuming 16 is what I'm assuming 16 or 17 years old. Yeah, something like that. I was very young. For years and years and years.
Starting point is 01:05:45 And his promise the entire time was, you will financially and spiritually reap the rewards when I die. And to a small amount of his credit, he did that. He gave 50% of this $100 million organization to these 15, 16 women. Yogi Tea. Yogi Tea, which I will never purchase again in my life. I drink it all the time.
Starting point is 01:06:10 I know, me too. Yogi Tea was started by this guy back in the 70s. You drink it everywhere. It's in restaurants. It's in Whole Foods. It's at Publix. It's at Kroger. You can buy it on Amazon.
Starting point is 01:06:23 It's called Yogi Tea. Yogi Tea. Of course you yogi tea. Yogi tea. Of course you want to drink the yogi tea. This dude was even. Now part of me goes, I'm never going to buy that again. And then the other part of me knows that 50% of the profits of this company go to these 16 women who were his quote unquote. Or so we'll see.
Starting point is 01:06:38 We'll see how that played out because apparently there was a lot of court drama. Oh, there was. It went on for like 20 years. Oh, there was? So I don't know that that's actually the case anymore. We'll see. I'm not buying any yogi tea until I figure out the end of this.
Starting point is 01:06:49 Hurry up HBO and throw that out. What nights that come out, Mondays? What nights do we get a new episode of that? I think so. Well, it's Tuesday when you're listening to that. It's Monday as we're recording this. God bless America. I hope that comes out today.
Starting point is 01:07:01 Anyway, Brian's being really preachy today. It sure gets the Cobra in you, it's the cobra in you. It's the cobra breath. Ha ha ha ha ha. Shhh. Ha ha ha ha. I'll teach it to you when we get out. Okay.
Starting point is 01:07:16 I spent thousands of dollars, but I'll teach it to you. Ha ha ha ha. Pass along your knowledge. Hey, listen, I got a lot out of it. I do have to say I got a lot out of it. I do have to say I got a lot out of it. What helps helps. But I didn't go following people around for the next 10 years and handing them my paycheck. I mean some people handed their company to this guy.
Starting point is 01:07:38 Yeah. They like signed over their company to this dude. Yeah. Oh man. Wow. Fuck President of the United States. I want to be a yogi. Guru Brian. Guru Brian. Guru Biji. Guru Brian. It's gonna be Guru Biji. Biji. Guru Biji. That's a good one.
Starting point is 01:08:05 If you want to be a part of my cult, visit the website, tcbpodcast.com. As Chrissy pointed out, no, our live shows did not happen two months ago. Good catch there. I can't believe our website company missed that one, but actually I can't believe our website company catch that one. That's what happens when you're the when you're their least paying client. Yeah. They don't pay attention. Alright, TCBpodcast.com. More information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location, TCBpodcast.com. You can also get your
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Starting point is 01:09:16 break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok, and 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Let us know your red flags and if you'll watch us on Twitch, we sure would appreciate it. Okay, Chrissy, guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you.
Starting point is 01:09:36 And best to you out there on the Podcast Universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say good bye I have nothing. Hey Torontonians, recycling is more than a routine. It's a vital responsibility. By recycling properly, you help conserve resources, reduce energy use in greenhouse gas emissions, and protect the environment. Toronto's Blue Bin Recycling Program ensures the majority of the right items are recovered and transformed into new products.
Starting point is 01:10:40 Recycling right is important and impactful. Let's work together and make a difference, because small actions lead to big change. For more tips on recycling, visit toronto.ca slash recycle right.

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