The Commercial Break - It’s Car Play Torture!

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

Choose your adventure: every time you get in the car, A) The Lion & The Lamb plays or B) that U2 album pre-downloaded on every iphone ever made plays. Late night tv drama Miserable highly paid people Mo’ money mo’ problems Car play The lion and the lamb We start what we finish Fred Willard & Obsessed Obsessed with peter pan They’re looking up his tights A banana with the skin on? Or a twinkie? Do some leaping! Losing your job and your spouse over pretending to be Peter Pan…it’s gone too far A man obsessed with pac man Protected by pac man $10,000 in quarters And he hasn’t even mastered it Where are they now? LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**  

Quite often I meet two holes, so the doctor is squirted. If you squeeze the bag, when you meet that little bit of resistance, usually means it's four. Why you love it? Which is children. Sorry, don't pray. Exactly, stop the snorkels. So, it ain't pretty. Exactly, stop the snowsons. On this episode of the commercial break.

The Lion and the Lion! I got my window down and I'm like, oh fuck is this new month-old in Sons? What's going on? And I look over outside my open window to see that there is a lady next to me and I mean she's in her 70s in her like you know Cadillac you know old Cadillac With her window down and she's like the lion in the lay-o She's come she's give me the thumbs up the lion in the lady and I'm like The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Oh, yeah, Jessica, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and director of all things wonderful. Chris, enjoy your birthday, Chris. Oh, you're crazy, Brian. Yeah, I'd like to say that. Yes. To soften the blow for the next time I open the show. Right.

When I'll go to the director of, you know, sniffing assholes or something. I don't know. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out when we get there, Chris E. Bestie U. Hi, Bestie U. And Bestie U out there in the podcast universe. Did you read this story about Jimmy Fallon?

Yes. What do you think about all that? It's kind of shocking. All of a sudden it was out in Rolling Stone about the crying rooms and the way that he was treating people. I didn't. I have to confess I started to read it. And then of course I got distracted. Like everybody else does that.

Do a million things coming through your email. Do you think that this is like, like I've read the story in its entirety? And I'm not really sure what to think of it. Part of me thinks like, come on, you know, people have personalities and they have attitudes and bad moods come and go and that's what happens. And anytime you work with someone in close proximity

in really stressful, tight situations, this is the pinnacle of late night shows is the tonight show. It always has been. Yes. But it doesn't really hold weight like it used to. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't know what late night TV is anymore. Does anybody really watch late night TV anymore?

I'm just, people do. But certainly nowhere near what Jay Leno or Dave Letterman or Johnny Carson. Yeah, it was appointment viewing. For sure. My grandma used to watch Johnny Carson every night when she was going to bed and therefore we watch it every time we were over at her house. And that's kind of how I got hooked on late night TV.

I watched Conan from the day that he started his show on NBC. I watched Letterman almost my entire life. I loved it. But then at some point the internet came along and it just kind of, it was no longer a point in TV because I didn't really, well, when Letterman left, I didn't really give a shit anyway. But yeah, and then on demand came about too,

where you don't even need to set your clocks. Yeah. To watch something. You can watch it anytime, and then you mean to, but then you don't. So I can't let you get hooked on that. Yeah to watch something you can watch it anytime and then you mean to but then you don't so I Take too much space in my head for me to worry about the other guy What's his name? The dude who just left the guy who was really kind of an asshole apparently? Who is his name the British dude Craig killborn? No Craig killborn was incredible the second they canceled his show James Corbin James Corbin. Yes. No, Craig Kilborn, in my opinion, was one of the best late night talk show hosts ever. His monologues were so fucking

funny. The masturbating donkey or whatever it was, it would come in. I mean, it was like Craig Kilborn was a genius. I just have to say that right now. I loved that show. But, you know, James Corden would like, he went to a restaurant and was berating people and then one of the most famous chefs in the world said he was no longer welcome in his restaurant because the way he was treating people. That's right.

Yeah, like you, I mean dude, you got a close fucking job, bro. Yeah, exactly. You know, Chrissy and I would die. Die. We would die to have channel 13, an air channel, not even a cable channel, no longer available on streaming in any place in the world. An air channel in Augusta, Georgia,

we would take a late night slot there in a heartbeat. What we would do, I have no idea. We'd barely prepare for this show if we actually had to go prepare for something. But it's a pretty cush job. And then you're running around New York acting like an asshole to waiters and waitresses that really have jobs where they actually had to go prepare for something. But it's a pretty cush job. And then you're running around New York acting like an asshole to waiters and waitresses that really have jobs where they actually have to work.

That seems a little bit unfair, right? I think when you reach a certain status in life, right? When you have a certain, like, part of me is conflicted here. I think, well, maybe he's just kind of a moody person and everyone's taking high offense to his moods when that just might be who he is. Jimmy Fallon just might be a moody dude.

Yeah, because otherwise he seems, I haven't seen any other bad press about him. It's usually good. Well, Amy Polar apparently and him used to have it out at Saturday Night Live. Oh, okay. He told Amy to shut up a few times that she wasn't having it.

Um, but, you know, anecdotal evidence at best, when you put it all together, it's kind of a picture of a dude who's just moody, who comes and hung over every once in a while and doesn't feel like doing it or doesn't feel... It's hard to be on. I do have to say that. I mean, it's emotionally taxing, physically taxing, and yeah, it's hard to be on. There is no harder job in life, Chrissy, than being a host of the commercial trade. Then being a host of this podcast, and you're right about this, when you come into the

studio and you turn yourself on for two or three hours at a time, and then- Give it a big fast. You have to think fast. Yeah, nothing's scripted here. No, not scripted. The opposite is scripted. Somebody wants to ask me a little bit. It's the literal opposite. It's the literal, it's the definition of improvisation.

Yes. There is no script. We have no bullet points. No idea, no show notes. I don't even read through the emails before I read them here on air. I know. I'm just taking a shot that it sounds good. But, you know, I do know there's a lot of preparation. You can't do that on late night TV on a major television

channel, of course. But, so part of me thinks the sum total of this article is that Jimmy's a little moody sometimes, and people take high offense to it. Now, I don't know exactly, you know, I'm sure there's more to the story than even what's been covered. But then part of me thinks when you get to a certain point in life, when you reach a certain

pinnacle of success, humility is probably the best idea in all situations. Right? It's just like, you got to understand, you're making $25 million a year doing this job. You are working with people who are making a hundred times less than you are. And you need to put yourself in their shoes for a minute. They're trying to please you. They're trying to do the best that they can. They're trying to work around your moods and attitudes. So maybe just take a deep breath before you go into the office and say, okay, no matter what kind of day this is, I'm not going to take it out of the people around me, right?

And of course, you're going to have a bad mood or two. I mean, we went into Clear Channel and that place was hell. It was hell. I'm looking back. It was. It was pure hell. And we had some real fucking knobs that were on those microphones. I mean, some real knobs came in and out of those stations when we were on those microphones.

I'm not going to name them by names, Clea to Steve Judd, but I'm going to say this is that there were people like Jimmy Fallon in those studios doing those shows, those radio shows, those morning shows, and they also treated everybody around them like dirt too. And I just couldn't understand it. They were the highest paid people in the building. They had to come in in the morning, oh, bleh, baby, I gotta wake up at 4 a.m. I got 18 kids.

I wake up at 4 a.m. every day. Ha, ha, ha. You gotta wake up at 4 in the morning. You gotta talk for a couple of hours. You gotta, you know, do a mattress, firm, commercial every once in a while. And then you go home and you sleep the rest of the day and you drink at night.

What is there? What else? What kind of life are you living that you have to be that miserable, honestly? But I do realize that people are people and we all have moods and problems are perspectives, right? And so when you, it doesn't, you know, they say more money, more problems.

Ho ho ho no. Ho ho no. Got money and blah blah. Okay, so when you, so it doesn't matter where you are in life, you na. Hu ha, Hu na. Got money and blah, blah. Okay, so when you, so it doesn't matter where you are in life, you're going to be the same person. If you are a moody person when you're poor, you're gonna be a moody person when you're rich.

If you're a moody person when you're working as a page at NBC, you're gonna be a moody person when you're the star of the tonight show. I mean, I get it, I understand that. But I'm leaning toward, hey, Jimmy, you should really take a deep breath and reassess how you're treating the people around you. Because if it rises to the level of a rolling stone article.

Yeah, that's when I saw that. I was like, oh, wow. And first of all, second of all, when did rolling stone start doing investigate? I mean, it's always an investigative journalism. When did they come back into the lexicon? You know what I'm saying? Feel like they were gone for a while. Now, they get some articles. No, I get their it's always an investigative journalism. When did they come back into the lexicon? You know what I'm saying? It feels like they were gone for a while. Now all of a sudden, now they got some articles. No, I get their updates and news and stuff like that. Oh, you do? You were rolling stone kind of, chick?

Yeah, I mean, I peruse the rolling stone. Parouse, I peruse. I'm a peruse. I'm a peruse. What does peruse mean? Such a weird word, peruse. For the way that I'm using it, and maybe it's not even currently. Yeah.

But I flip through. Okay, let's make a word up for what you do. Yeah. You know, like a lazy Susan of magazines. Flip through it, yes. You keep turning the wheel and hold it. Well, because I have Apple News Plus. And so I subscribe to quite a few magazines, and so I get to quite a few magazines and so I you know get the updates

Yeah, from those magazines and then I quickly read them and go on to another update Because I think I'm paying like a thousand and ninety nine dollars a month for that Apple plus plus plus plus plus I can get all the music and you get all the magazines and you get all the things and I remember your family can have it And you have two extra subscriptions for all this don't't think not once, not once. Not once. Have I used Apple Music or Red? One of the, I mean, I read the magazine's on occasion, but I don't take it as good of advantage of it as I should. Yeah, I'm an Apple News person now. I kinda got switched over.

It's all there. That's, yeah, but I still can't quite switch myself over to Apple Music and we were talking about this. Breaking news. Chrissy is now an Apple breaking news kind of girl. We were talking about this though. The song, whatever song you have played or downloaded into Apple music somehow blasts Apple. Every time you get in the car,

why Apple? I'm like, I just wanted to hear the Charlie X, the X. I just, new song. I didn't mean for to play every time for a year. Yeah. When I get into the car, I'm like, how is it still on there?

I gotta say, like the situation that the problem that Chris is talking about is when you- You have a funny story about it. Yeah, I do. When you get into the car and you plug in your Apple CarPlay or connects your Apple CarPlay for some dumb understood reason that quite frankly shouldn't be understood because it's just a dumb, dumb thing that Apple has embedded into this operating system. Is that when you plug in to Apple CarPlay or you plug your phone into your car's radio system,

the first thing that an Apple phone does is play a song from Apple Music. Yes. As if you want to hear the same song every time. There's no way to change it. There's no way to predict it. Sometimes it's a different song. Most of the time it's not. Yes, it's so fucking weird. Yeah, it's not the last song you were listening. No, that would make sense. Yes. But no, this is just a random song that's in your library that you then, yeah, you have to hear every time. I mean, it took me forever to get that YouTube album off of it, but it would always play the YouTube. Listen, I liked liked Mumford and sons in 2012 when they came out with everybody else

But I have forever been listening to Mumford and fucking sons every time I get in the car every time And I'm stuck in 2012 in my car. I've had four cars, since that Mumford and Sons album came out. And for the life of me, I cannot figure out how to get Mumford and Sons off of my fucking phone. Well, you had a story. I know, I'm gonna tell it. All right, so the other day, because it is one strange, this room is strange.

It smells weird, it looks weird, there's wires all over the place, and Brian just sits at his computer all night long, staring at things that he shouldn't be staring at. In hopes that I'll find something for the show. So because we do sometimes do these preacher breakdowns, I was looking into the Christian, the phenomenon of Christian music and it's history and where it goes.

And the hypnotic, weird buildup that they have, that gets everybody feeling that they're feeling Jesus, but what they're really feeling is a pre-programmed response to this type of thing in your body, if physiologically. So I download or I play, not even download, I play a song, a Christian rock song called The Lion and the Lamb. The Lion and the Lamb!

By this rock band, I play it in hopes that I can get a clip that we could play here as an example. Right. On my computer, I do this. So the next morning, I get in the car, I drive, I'm stopped at the stoplight near my house, I plug in my phone at the stoplight,

so I'm not as to, you know, get another ticket for holding my phone in properly. I plug it in, I put it on the thing, and all of a sudden, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, the lion in the loom. I got my window down, and I'm like, what the fuck is this new Mumford and Sons?

What's going on? I thought it could be a Mumford and Sonsong, not even remembering that days before the night Mumford and Sons song, not even remembering that days before the night before I had listened to this song because it's that forgettable. And so I was like, oh, okay, this is crap. And I look over outside my open window to see that there is a lady next to me,

and I mean, she's in her 70s, in her like, you know, Cadillac, you know, old Cadillac with her window down and she's like, the lion in the lion. Oh, man. She's thumbs up. She's giving me the thumbs up.

The lion in the lion. And I'm like, eh eh eh eh. Eh eh eh. Eh eh eh. Here's a big place of mufford and suds for you, lady. It is destroying lives. It is destroying lives.

How many car accidents do you think have happened? Because you plug in your phone, you don't expect anything to come on and then, no, I'm a whine! We talked about it and I was like, I just need to take the time to go through and clean things up, but I guess that's not even the problem. It just, yeah.

Could someone in Apple explain this to us? Could someone in Apple please write in and explain as if anybody at Apple's listening to this stupid show? They're still trying to figure out how to get us off the charts. So can someone at Apple please write in and explain exactly why this functionality is built into the iPhone or the AirPlay or CarPlay or whatever the fuck it is, because it is really obnoxious.

And to my knowledge, there is no way to get rid of it. There probably is if I just Googled it, but I have actually Googled this before, and I think everybody has this frustration. Well, well, sorry, 11. The reason that probably Mumford and Sons can't come in on them, because here's the problem. Kids these days don't remember iPods, but I had a month for the sun on my iPod.

That's right. And with your Apple accounts, a lot of that stuff got switched over, yeah merged into there. So yeah, you're right. I'll listen to your stuff. I was listening to 2012. It's fucking insane. My old iPod.

Yeah. When they got rid of iTunes, then they went to I music or Apple music or whatever it is. Yeah. Somehow, some way I'm paying more money, getting less music and now getting a Mumford and Sons for the rest of my life. I mean, if you're gonna charge me 29.99 a month for that damn music service, can you do me a favor

and switch it up everyone's in a while? I mean, rotate it or something. You're so right about this, that this is, I'm literally stuck in a time capsule in Mumford and Sons. So I found a way to take the line and the lamb off there. And now what's what damn song is playing? I don't even know what damn song is playing. It's a falling slowly hope you reach me.

I literally want to jump out of my car every time I hear that song. I think I had a break up one time. It's like this is my divorce song. I don't know you but I want all the more for that. It's like shows right through me, goes right through me goes right through me and I can't forget I remember that You have suffered enough. Yes, I have. Please take it off my out As if I hadn't jumped off a bridge 40 times that song already, please stop I know and then you have to make the difficult decision Do you delete it all together or just leave it on there

and hope it doesn't come back on? Well, I don't know, but I'm not gonna have another bad breakup or I'm gonna have to pass that song onto my kids when they have a breakup. Like here, listen to this. As if you're not in a bad mood and no. Just send that song to Jimmy Fallon over there and tell him to break up, buddy.

It's not that bad. Yeah, I don't know. I don't get it. I don't understand it. I don't know why we have to suffer through the Apple music constantly playing that we don't want it to. But if you could, if you could change that, appreciate it. Like they should have a function.

Then when you turn on Apple CarPlay, you have the choice to engage the music or not. And at least if you don't have the choice to engage the music, could we please at least have the choice of music? Could it be like a little sign pops up on your car? And it says, which song would you like to kill yourself too? This time, I'm saying. I'm like, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, you know my podcast,

it'll, if I've been listening to the podcast in my house, then when I get into the car, it's playing the same thing that I was just listening to. Yes. The same was Spotify and I don't understand. Yes. If you've got a, if you've got a fresh slate, if you've been listening to something or watching something, like if I've been watching a YouTube video, sometimes the YouTube video will start playing

when I plug it in, right? But if I'm all closed out, if I'm using, you know, if I'm energy efficient, if I'm all closed out, if I'm trying to hide things from my kids, if all that is, if I'm doing that properly, and then I plug it in, then Apple music every time. Apple music every time. Apple music every time. And they choose. I don't get to choose. I am absent.

It's as if I am going crazy in my head every time I get in that car. And like my son the other day, he was like, Daddy, why does that song come on every time? And I'm like, I don't know. And he's like, can you put on the Mickey Mouse March? And I'm like, no, no, Mumford and Son. No. Son, you're gonna need this song when you break, when you have your first break up.

Falling slowly, feels right through me. Hahaha. Daddy, what does it feel like? I'm drowning in sorrow. Hahaha. I don't worry, son. That's the way you'll feel any day after 13 years old. Hahaha. You'll feel that way twice a day for the rest of your life.

As soon as you turn 13, you'll realize, as soon as your balls drop and your voice gets lower, you're going to feel that forever. Don't worry son. He, the man they are obsessed with music, they are obsessed with music, all my kids. Yeah, no, my nephews are too. They, they, they want to listen to it when they're in the shower. They want to listen to it on the playground. They want to listen to it in the bedroom. That's great.

I love it. I, I am so excited about this. Unfortunately, their musical tastes have not. They have, she's developed. I'm not sure my musical tastes have developed either. I'm still, you know, I'm coming in the Nymal. But there's some music that I just know is not for them. Like I'm not gonna go play in them

rage against the machine, right? It doesn't make sense. No, well I do see parents that do this. Like I have a friend who I went to high school with and he's got a son, cutest button. He had him pretty young. So I think the kid now is probably in his 17, 18, 19, 20 years old, whatever.

But he has been letting him listen to some pretty heavy metal. Like this guy was into heavy, heavy metals, named Bob. And Bob was letting his kid, he was listening to those songs with his kid when he was very young. And so from a long time ago, like I remember seeing a post about, oh, what's his name's first concert, right? I'm not gonna name his son, but his first concert. And he had the headphones on and it was like, you know, kill machete or something.

Like kill machete. And so some parents do open the world up and musically like that. I feel bless you. She. I mean, the first actual sneeze I've ever had to do. You've ever had, did the first time you've ever sneezed? Oh, on air? Yeah.

I'm waiting for a thwarp to come out, like a throw up fart in a burp at the same time as a thro'rp. But I feel like I want to let my kids have their own musical tastes for a while in their own ecosystem, and then I occasionally drop in a song. Now, my wife, however, does not take this same road because my girls are already asking for Taylor Swift songs every time I get in the car. So, well, listen, it could be worse, I guess. You know, it could be worse.

It could be, I don't know, Charlie X, or whatever. Do you listen to Charlie X, or what? Well, no, not really, but I like her, and I wanted to at least hear the new song that had just come out, and then now I'm listening to her. But it's three months when I get into the car. Oh, my God, yeah, it's terrible. here is the new song that had just come out and then now i'm listening to it it's three months when i get into the car oh my god yeah it's terrible it's appellan to apple

uh... i'm not really sure oh because we're talking about apple news you read an article and i said okay apple but my my thoughts on on jimmy fail on our this in conclusion i think jimmy is a human being is going to have uh... moods up and down i think when you're working for somebody that closely in that intensive environment, you are going to have to just chill out a little bit

and understand that he's also got some pressures on him and there are going to be times when he's in a good mood and in a bad mood and you shouldn't count your day based on his moods unless that's just the environment that you work in, like you have to, I don't know, follow all over him, but also, and I think this, I don't know, you know, fall all over him. But also, and I think this comes from the top down, not from the bottom up. Jimmy, you got to take a deep breath, bro.

You're in the best job in all of late-night television, whatever that means anymore, but you have a huge contract. You live a wonderful life, and you got a great job. You shouldn't take it out in anybody that works around you. You should just, you know, humility, like wrecking. In all fairness, he apologized. He did do some big apology. Maybe he didn't realize that that was what was happening.

He was making, he didn't realize it about the cry room. Yeah, it's hard to do that when you're drunk. You know what I'm saying? The other thing that was in the article, alluded to, the article alluded to the fact that Jimmy Mayer may not have has had alcohol on his breath on numerous occasions. Well, he's doing late night.

Didn't he fall and like break open his hand one time because he was drunk? Didn't he have to have like hand surgery one time because he fell and he was drunk or he cut he cut himself open and he had to get stitches and his arm was in a sling for a while. I do remember this and it happened because he was drunk. He had had too much alcohol. So, you know, welcome to the club, Jimmy. You know, uh, here's a piece of advice. But yeah, he's, he's in late night, but those late night shows the film that three in the afternoon. They're gonna film it.

And night. Come on, Chrissy, get it together. You're in the business. You should know where in the business on Chrissy, get it together. You're in the business, you should know. We're in the business, are we in the business? We might be in the business. We're barely in the business. On the edge of the business. I'm only a edge of business. Careful, that's gonna play every time.

Oh yeah, now Apple Music is decided. That's why you favorite talk. That's right, falling slowly in the edge of tomorrow. Or is that edge of tomorrow whenever that song is by Lady Gaga? Where's Lady Gaga? Haven't heard from her in a while, have you? Yeah, she's still around. Oh, okay.

Making music, doing films. Morning, Tony Bennett. Tell her I said hello. Oh, well. When you get a chance. Speaking of obsessed with a certain song or obsessed with certain music. Hey, you, my podcast friend. I just popped in to say that you are the best part of TCB.

And to show our appreciation, we want to give you a free WWFD sticker. It's the Whatwood Frankie Doe sticker you've been asking for. It's number four in our series of stickers and you get one just for being a friend of TCB. Go to TCBpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, tell us you want to stick her and drop us your physical address. Those FedEx men will be at your door post-taste. We want to hear from you, your wild and wacky stories, dating disasters, ask TCB questions,

and now you can ask Brian's mom for terrible advice. Hey, I learned my terrible advice giving skills from someone and my mom is that person. 1, 855, TCB 8383. toll free from anywhere in the world is that person. 1. 855-TCB-8383. toll free from anywhere in the world is where you can send us your questions, comments, concerns or content ideas. It's a real live phone line where we actually respond. 855-TCB-8383.

At the commercial break on Insta and TCB podcast on TikTok. And please do me one more favor. Go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. Subscribe to that channel. Morgan does a great job editing the videos to be released on the same day at Ayers here on the podcast feed. Now let's listen to a word from our sponsor to keep this rambling wreck fueled up and ready to rock.

And then we'll be back to this episode of The commercial break. I just remembered a while ago, so I didn't just remember, I remembered a while ago, about a television show that was briefly on with Fred Willard, called Obsessed. Do you remember this show? I don't, but I love Fred Willard. And one of my favorite clips on the internet that I have, I actually think we reviewed

of minutes of this, like episode number two of the show. Oh wow. He's of the grown man. The lost episode. The lost episode, that's right, no longer there. But I actually think we reviewed a couple, like maybe a couple seconds of this particular television show way back when first episode, first episode or two about the guy who was a full grown

adult dressing and acting like Peter Pan. He had literally had Peter Pan syndrome. And that came from the show obsessed, which I liked, but I had no idea that the two were connected until I pulled it up, looked it up. And here's Fred Willard, who had this show called Obsessed about People Got Obsessed about certain things. This was my strange addiction before my strange addiction.

I think you're right about this. I do. And so I thought it was apropos that if we started the video back on episode number two, we should probably finish it here on episode 399. What do you think? We do what we say. Chrissy. Start what we finish.

If it goes into the book, it's lost forever. So put it in the book. We're gonna do it on episode number four. How does it mean we start what we finish? We start what we finish. That is kind of what we do. We start what we finish.. We don't finish anything. So we never really got started in the first place. So here we are a circle jerk of nothing.

But hey, if you think we feel bad, what about you? You're the one listening. All right. Don't keep out the way. Yeah, thank you. By the way, uh, trolling on the internet as I do as you do like to do. I found Mr. Fred Willard and his old television show. I think back from the 90s or early 2000s called Obsessed. And I'd like to go back and review the Peter Pan video. What do you think? OK, let's do it. Let's do it.

This next story takes us to Tampa, Florida, by way of Never Never Land. Randy Constan is a 50 year old. If never, for land. Randy Constan is a 50 year old man who likes to skip around in green leotards. He's totally obsessed with being Peter Pan. This is something I invented called the Pixie Dance. They think I was about eight when I told my dad, you know, I'd like to be a fairy. Is he probably wondered what kind of a child that was going to be?

Look at me. You've got to see this imagery, youtube.com slash the commercial break. This guy is literally dressed up like Peter Pan, mini skirt and all. It's amazing. I wonder if this guy is still alive and around. He'd probably be in his 70s now. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money.

He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money.

He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money.

He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. Why is there a lawyer involved? I can only imagine the reasons why but I don't know Nobody was in one of those shots two of all the law books behind him. Yeah This is the hot is the epitome of you know prestige TV in 1986 For the past 30 years Randy Constan has been living his life as Peter Pan. That's as good as it gets 50 years old. Being Peter Pan. I don't think it's a job anywhere because I don't know this to be true, but you know, it takes a lot of time to dress up like Peter Pan and run around and sprinkle sparkles

everywhere. Yes, not that I would know personally, but I know a little bit. I do it on the weekends. I'm a weekend warrior, Peter Pan. And is part of my life? It's something I've incorporated into my life. It's the way I choose to live it. And he chooses to live as Peter Pan in every way imaginable.

It was a vintage shop that had this green velvet dress. To dress the part, Randy had to learn how to sew women's dresses into Peter Pan outfits. So far, he's handmade 15 outfits. Geez, that's a real dedication to Peter Pan. Do you know what I'm saying? This... And by the way, it doesn't seem like,

for at least from this video, it doesn't seem like he's hurting anybody. So I don't give a shit what Peter does with it. Peter Pam, his name is Peter, which is weird to think about. His name is Peter. Maybe that's kind of where he got the idea. Like I'm Peter, I'm Peter. Yeah.

And that's a Peter, not a Peter. I'm Brian Green, the noted astrophysicist. He's Brian Green, the noted astrophysicist. Together we're noted astrophysicist. I often take credit for his work online. That's nice. She allows him to dress like his hero every day. When I found out that he dresses like that all the time, I was like, wow, he takes us farther than I thought he did. Okay, those are his two friends that we're talking. Can we stop for one second? And why are we focusing on Peter

when we have these two friends? We all want to get into this household and see what's going on there. This is a strange couple here. Oh, he takes us farther than I thought he did. Well, often I spend so much time working on the tops that I don't realize that the girls are looking at my tights. Being... What? Uh, uh, uh. That the girls are looking up my tights?

Yeah, I don't think so, Peter. I think you're good there. I think everything's okay. Yeah. When Peter Pan, I can stay childlike, despite whatever age I happen to be. I do everything I can to look young. I still have a haircut for a four-year-old. It doesn't stop at the clothes for Randy.

He's even ordered his physical appearance to look like Peter Pan. I do fuss with my hair a lot, and I do have my little beauty secrets about it. And so that's as far as I'm going to go about my hair. It is what it is, and it grows out of my head. I don't believe you for one second. He does have a stretch, a strange haircut to be wearing around town. It's a bob. They call it a bob, a strange haircut to be wearing around the town. It's a bob. They call it a bob? It's like a gin and instant bob. Remember that gin and instant had the bob and the friends and the other?

Jim has some more about our. Well, yeah, well because gin and instant face is under that bob, you know what I'm saying? It's not Peter. Right, Christopher Champions. And Peter Pan. Just looking like Peter Pan isn't enough for Andy. He models his regular diet after a parentless six-year-old. I eat a lot of it never food.

I've been in Anna with the skin on. No, he's eating a twinkie. Oh. That's a twinkie he's having for breakfast. When's the last time you had a twinkie? Oh. Been a long time. It's been a whole long time.

I used to come in my lunchboxes. I know, they make twinkies still, right? Oh, yeah. They a long time. It's been a whole long time. I used to come in my lunch boxes. I know they make twinkies still, right? Oh, yeah. They must. Hostess. Can you get a box of twinkies next time you're at the store? Because I never visit the store except for once a day. So when it's a separate, get a box of twinkies and let's see what those tastes like.

I haven't had a twinky in. It's spongy and cream-filled. And the last forever. Apparently. Well, yes. It'll allow the junk food. You'll allow the hostess twinkies. and the last forever. Apparently. Well, yes. Yes. You've got a lot of junk food. You've got a lot of hostess Twinkies.

Yum. Freeze for the side! But Randy burns it off by spending over 15 hours a week practicing his Peter Pan moves. He takes that whole side of Peter Pan seriously. There is an art to leave thing. You have to be practical. You have to avoid areas where somebody will shoot you.

I mean, we'll, what? Well, I guess he does look down on Florida. Yeah. That's what I should say. But you practice your leaping around the yard. I mean, that sounds like fun. You can just go around leaping all the time. I wish I could leap, but my knees

and my hips won't allow for that. My bad back. My arthritis and my nose and my ears. Can't do that. I like a good leap. Have you been doing leaping lately? I'm good at SART. I watch my kids, my kids were asking me

to do some leaping down the hallway the other day. And I couldn't use my knee the next day. Oh, I know. I'm just, I'm too old. I'm too old. Let's get down to that villages. They give pain medication for free. He can't fly, so that's about the most thing that he can possibly do.

She ain't in real life, so I can jump that high. Randy's not just Peter Pan at home, he's Peter Pan everywhere, even though that's caused him to lose a job and his 20-year marriage. Oh! Peter! and his 20 year marriage. Oh. Oh. Oh. Peter. This is when you, this is an addiction. This is when it goes too far. You know, they say that it's not a-

That we're losing jobs as spouses. It's not a problem until it starts affecting your everyday life. Yes. When you're spending 15 hours a week practicing leaping in your backyard by yourself hoping not to get shot by who I don't know. This is a problem, Peter. You got to settle down. Like, you know, go to what do they call them?

Cosplay festivals and stuff like that. Like conferences. It's a yaya, yaya, yaya, yaya, yaya, shake it out. I mean, he must be in his 70s now. But, you know, and let's hope he's still around doing his thing. But, you know, everyone's gonna dress up for the TV cameras when they show up to the house. But you have to do this all the time up for the TV cameras when they show up to the house. But you have to do this all the time. He's literally in the streets of Fort Lauderdale right now. Dress like Peter Pan, leaping down the street. This would never go on in 2023.

Being Peter Pan means I can wear what I like, play what I like, play whenever I like and wherever I would like. How is he making money? Well, we don't ask those kind of questions. We don't want the answers to we don't ask we feed finder.com Hello, what is your name? They call me Peter Pan. There's Peter Pan a woman or guy. It's a boy Peter Okay, there's a boy's name Okay, so what are you doing over here Peter Pan? I'm just skipping around the E-Force city.

Whoa. Whoa. Hey. I don't even know how to begin to describe the scene. He's out shopping and clothing. Some red neckerson comes up to him and goes, Peter Pan, a boy or a girl. Does it fucking matter, dude?

The guy's dressed like Peter fucking pan. You want to get into the details about whether or not he has a penis? What does it fucking matter, really? It's none of your business. That's why whatever. Anyway, and now he's standing outside with another guy who's- With the black Hugh Hefner.

Yeah, the black Hugh Hefner who's wearing a robe, a full robe with a shirt, no shirt, a long gold chain sunglasses on. Actually, I like this guy's look. I did too. I wish I had a chest like that. I might do it. Yeah, I wish I didn't have 12 pounds of hair on my chest and I might try it.

Nice girls. Yeah, a lot of things. You need a lot of girls with tights. It works. I already picked up a girl today. That means you don't have to worry about my competition. Oh yeah. Yeah, I wasn't worried in the first place, but... Bitches! And just like the real Peter Pan, Randy is constantly on the lookout for-

This is a song, Pem Juice. They're playing like a lot of music here that probably gonna get his band from you too, but whatever. We'll roll with it. It's Tinkerbell. Oh. Thank you. I'm not looking for all the girls in the world, just, you know, a date now and then. I think the one piece of advice I would give, ran back to the attorney.

Why does he have attorney involved? What's going on here? He still hasn't said why he's in this documentary. I don't get it. Just a case of what needs to go to court, I guess. I don't know. It is the tighter, the pants, the better. It work for Bon Jovi. It can work for him. the pants, the better. It worked for Bon Jovi. It can work for him. Oh, and he plays the guitar. He's a triple threat. He's a leaper. He's cute. And he plays guitar. Oh, now he's jumping into a tree. I think I see one of his nuts acts hanging out right there. Those shorts are awful. Sure., that's shot is right. I could shoot. Yes.

On just Randy plans on being a Peter Pan. That's not now. Yeah, well he hasn't, he said tights, but he hasn't been wearing tights the entire time. They're all just really short shorts. And forever. I don't see myself ever giving up being Peter Pan. It's the way I choose to live my life

and I'm having a ball. Well, I say good for you, bud. Good for you. Well, look out, Beatles. Here he comes. I mean, Peter Pan, is there anything in your life that you can ever remember being so obsessed with that you would consider living as that person animal thing for a period of time. No.

No, not a pop star, not a athlete. I guess it's really into Madonna, I like back in the day. Would you have, but I was, I mean, I just like to, her style. You liked her style, but if you had the option, if we know now, if you knew then what you know now Would you spend money time energy effort at that moment in your life becoming kind of Madonna-esque? Okay, did you ever become Madonna-esque? No, did you ever have the cone

Nipple tassels that she wore and the famous no comment no comment Damn Jeff what's going on at that house? We just need a couple extra cameras and I want to run that wire Literally from downtown Atlanta up north So we can get it on the OBS here and figure out what's going on I love it, but you know It wasn't the only thing that Fred Willard covered. He also covered a man who wanted to be Pac-Man Oh, do you want to see that one sure why not let's go for that? But it wasn't the only thing that Fred Willard covered. He also covered a man who wanted to be Pac-Man. Oh.

Do you want to see that one? Sure. Sure. Sure, why not? Let's go for that. We're this far. Yeah, we're this far. We're in now.

What else to do? Computer's still working. Might as well run. Meet Tim Chris. A man obsessed with Pac-Man. After all this time, he's still there, he's still yellow, he's still perfectly round, he's still eating things. I feel his eff is glowing light, is always protecting me and guiding me and making all my enemies blue and edible.

Behold, I am Pac-Man! Uh, that's scary. That's just weird. That's the kind of guy you find at the end of a murder mystery. You know what I'm saying? He's like a Netflix documentary waiting to happen. But Pac-Man, why would you want to be Pac-Man? Not a hero.

He's not like, he's just a character in a video game. Like Pac-Man, yeah. Pac-Man just gives me this feeling of giddiness. Like there's all these tingles running up and down my nipples. And it's just this wonderful thing like, hey, look, it's Pac-Man. For the past 20 years, Tim, I don't want to see anything running up and down my nipples. And it's just this wonderful thing, like, hey, look, it's Pac-Man. For the past 20 years, chin. I don't want to see anything running up and down your nipples, quite frankly.

If I had to pick a pair of nipples to see something running up and down, it wouldn't be yours. I don't appreciate that visual. Yeah. Life has been consumed by Pac-Man. If you've never played Pac-Man before, it's a little something like this. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, Pac-Man. Oh, he's married. So I guess for now for now for then for that. He has Psychic connection with Pac-Man back man His kickin. What's that? That mullet is kicking. Oh, yeah. Well, he's from Florida too, is he? I'd balled a little Pac-Man feeling when I Impression that he may be nearby and there he'll be you know his golden yellow light just all hi back man the drill be there and be reaching his pockets instead of for a condom he'll be reaching for tokens

for your daughter daughter daughter well i don't know he might be reaching for a condom i'm not sure what you're missing is that he ran up to a Pac-Man video and basically it's sexually assaulted it, a video game, and like an arcade, and sexually assaulted that video game. I think something's off with our friend here. Yeah. Hello.

How are you? My name is perhaps to ask you for some quarters that I may offer them to the great yellow one. Certainly, certainly. Well, can we do another documentary about the guys behind the pizza counter? What is going on here? I'm more interested in the people around these people,

like where did the lawyer come from? Why was he involved in the, in the feet of pan story? And now he's at a pizza shop where they have an arcade and the arcade obviously has Pac-Man in it. But behind the counter are two identical twins. Muscle, bow. Muscley, like super big. Yeah. Shidy bald heads and gold chains and muscle shirts.

Oh, I just wish I knew more about those guys. I know. We should call them. What's that number on that shirt? See if you can get it down. I can't. Eight, seven, two, shop. Is it shop? I don't know. We'll figure it out. Yeah. I think you can create yellow once and go through my wall again, right? Oh, shoe. It's Mr. Sho.

872 shoe. Oh. Sorry about that. He's really hard on the buttons. I feel bad for the machine. You know? I think I'm not a pack man. Right, right.

No, no, okay. You guys should destroy it with my hat about it now. Okay. Tim has spent $10,000 in quarters alone playing every day on his lunch break His wife no no first of all buy the machine for like a thousand dollars Right or Apple arcade. I think offers that game for $2.99. This is the 90s. Okay, that's true.

Okay, if it's the 90s, go buy the machine. Go buy the machine. Because it's probably much cheaper back then than it is now. $10,000 in quarters, that's insane. It's insane to play a video game $10,000. Yeah, not only are you spending time away from me by playing Pac-Man, but you're spending $10,000? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that's like, I don't know how much that is, a day, but it's all this stuff. It's not the budget. No. That's what it is. It's not your Pac-Man obsession is not in the budget. It's not bad enough.

We have Pac-Man plush toys, albums, video game covers, all over the house. We're just talking tokens. Yeah, but now we have to add on to that, the fact that you're spending our mortgage money every day on Pac-Man at mr. Shoes 872 mr. Shoes In spite of playing Pac-Man since he was seven years old Tim has yet to master the game Oh Oh Oh, this is sad. It's sad.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess once you master the game, is it that much fun anymore? Probably not. You're still trying to beat it. It's a lane. It's gratification. Yeah, but if you're watching this guy play, doesn't seem like he's playing to win at all. It seems like he's playing to make a show to everyone else that's around him.

Yeah. Listen. This is why I never got into video games. playing to make a show to everyone else that's around him. Yeah, listen. This is why I never got into video games. I wasn't any good at them. I could never finish a video game without a cheat code, without some kind of cheat code. And I could never get my dad to give me money to go to an arcade. And if I wasn't able to master something,

I was very uninterested in it. That's why we keep doing this podcast. I'm hoping someday I can get the studio to work on the first try. I have no time to go home! When the holy semi-circle of life meets his demise, the melting way he does, it always brings me a feeling that

maybe I could have done something more, maybe I could have turned left instead of right. Heck, man! No! Climb trady by the back, Clyde, try to fight back man. What? You might need medication. Might think he probably does take medication, I would imagine.

I mean, either he's putting on a really good show or there's something that's going on here. It's not off, he's just acting differently than you would expect somebody to act. And his wife seems perfectly content with him, so there you go. They're now, so his wife and he are now playing the Xbacks on the floor of their apartment Pac-Man was made for 20 different game systems and Tim has everyone enabling him to play

By it and he's still spending money tokens at mr. Shoes. Well good for mr. Shoes. I guess who's the winner there? Mr. Shoes spent $500 on a shitty Pac-Man video game system and they've made $10,000. Every rule-minute- Tom. It's very frustrating trying to play Pac-Man with Tim. You have to avoid them. The trick is to not run into them when they try to... You see game over, now you don't get to play anymore and it's all me.

You get to watch me play. It's just a total exercise and futility for me because I'll be waiting 15 minutes for my turn. That's what I'm saying. He's literally talking at my limit and she's wondering how she gets a divorce in Turteos involved. I got an idea, call Fred Willard and get that phone number from that attorney over there.

He looks like the kind of guy you're gonna write up a quick divorce and Fred's dead, so actually don't call for it but but you know as that and what i don't don't cry and okay hold on in two thousand one temple is passion for pac-manda music and the song called the nine and is what's out of the nineties for two thousand one oh two thousand and one uh... okay why said ninety's or two that early two

thousand that time period. That period between 1990 and 2020. You made December 11th. That range. Yeah December 11th. 19 2012. At 706 Fiat. You know in that range. Ain't good and so should you. Are you ready for Batman? It's your friend who goes! What's wrong with you? Tim. Tim. What's wrong with you? The best way to Batman is to use the game!

You'll move the joystick and eat the dot! There should be counselors involved. Sometimes, he just got everything. Well, we finally agree on something here. Message to the people. Occasionally, I'll be driving around and I'll pass somebody who doesn't look like he is invited the full glory of Pac-Man into his life. And I feel the need to, you know, convey to him somehow that he really should. Pac-Man! Pac-Man! Pac-Man! Pac-Man!

Less the public forget about Pac-Man. I think this guy's putting on a show for the television cameras, hoping that he becomes the next late-night talk show host. The way things are going with Jimmy Fallon, hey man you might be able to slip right in. Tim goes out every week to remind him. He won't rest until the world shares his enthusiasm for Pac-Man. I simply profess the glory of the Golden One who is round and each thing. It is written that you should play Pac-Man! I don't leave any! Wait, why are you talking as if Pac-Man is a medieval king? I mean, it's in Pac-Man and Aliyah from space.

He's saying, speaking in the King's English for some reason. Another glory of Pac-Man! It can be extremely embarrassing. When we're driving down the road, people are standing there and they're like, Pac-Man. All before Pac-Man, feel his glory! Hear the glory of Pac-Man! Say Pac-Man! No! Say Pac-Man!

I think these people are gonna look back on their lives. They're gonna be lying on their desk, but I'm thinking, My God, I have squandered my life. Think of all the times I played things that weren't Pac-Man. Say Pac-Man! Say Pac-Man! And now it's too late. Pac-Man! Say Pac-Man! And now it's too late. Pac-Man!

It's adorable. And a very disturbing way, it's adorable. Well, here's hoping that Tim is confined somewhere and a perfectly lovely space because I think you need to. Where are they now? Yeah, where are they now? Let me do some homework. I bet I could figure it out. Why?

Because I... I also am obsessed with trolling the internet for useless information. And if it's out there, I'll find it. Can you imagine in 2023, someone riding down the road with a megaphone screaming Pac-Man like that? He'd get shot.

What a difference 10 years a decade in the world makes. Yeah. Those are simpler times when you could just, you know, dress up as Peter Pan and leap around your backyard without fear of getting shot. I really want to know where Peter is. I want Peter to say, yeah. Yeah, there's nothing to say.

There's nothing to say. It's useless. This is to say. It's useless. This is just bullshit. It's useless. No one cares. No one cares that Timothy likes Pac-Man. It just doesn't matter. The only person who cares, who should care,

who does care, is his wife. And I will bet you $1,000, that marriage is not still together. Not if this was real. No. You couldn't deal with that. Could you deal with that for more than 10 minutes? No, we have this with this was real. No. You couldn't deal with that. Could you deal with that for more than 10 minutes? No, if this was a show for the cameras, then she's in awesome. I feel like it's a show for the cameras, but you never really know with somebody, do you?

Alright, you know what is a show? TCB Podcast. And you can go and watch all the video, all the audio, and find out more about Chrissy and I. Read all the show notes, get our sponsors to specialize urls and codes at tcbpodcast.com. The brand new tcbpodcast.com where you can also get your sticker, which sticker is it? Don't know, Chrissy would like who's not, but we'll see tcb on the block. We will see what the next sticker is. I think we do have a cup, well, we always save a few stickers From every series just in case. So if you're nice and you ask nicely,

Astrid might send you a send you a what would Frankie do sticker even though I think we are out or running low Supposedly, we have a reserve is what I'm trying to say. You know how the United States has a Strategic petroleum reserve so do we. I also have a strategic petroleum reserve in my bathroom. Alright, so tcbpodcast.com, 855, Tcb-A-3-A-3-1, 855, Tcb-A-3-A-3-3-Questions, Comments, Concerns, Content Ideas, Ask Brian's Mind, All Right There. Add the Commercial Break on Instagram, Tcbpodcast on TikTok. And if you would please, youtube.com, slash the commercial break. Oh, and if you want to join our private WhatsApp group, send us your phone number. We'll add you in.

Okay, Chrissy, I suppose that's all I can do for today. Hi, thanks, though. But I'll tell you that I love you, and I'll say best to you. And best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say. Good bye. and I always say we do say and we must say goodbye I want to be a master of it. you