The Commercial Break - JagerFace

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Here at TCB, we cold call after 12 jager bombs, and we're damn good at it! A Bluey poncho & a hot dog stand Storytime with Bryan Bryan tried to put on a festival He was in his flop era Old peopl...e are getting wild “Personal use” If your dad is wild, let us know Ozempic face Jagerfaced cold calling Espresso martinis are the new jagerbombs Raising kids hungover Daddy wants to go to a festival! Pooping in a bookstore Your vagy nerve goes oogie boogie Chilis Technology! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:02:09 Baby, please take your time. On this episode of The Commercial Break. I know it's 4.30 in the afternoon and we're just finishing up nine innings of drinking, but we're gonna go back and cold call, cold call, cold call. So take a couple more Jäger shots. It's Chrissy from the radio station.
Starting point is 00:02:32 I was wondering if... Jäger face. Let me call you, yeah, Jäger face. Oh yeah, that Jäger face. You can't mistake Jäger face and a Zephyk face. They're very similar. Only one is induced by just not being able to lift your jaw off the ground. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Best to you, Chris Ann. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Starting point is 00:03:05 I read an article, it's all over the internet actually, about this restaurant in Arizona, a hot dog restaurant. Is it in Arizona? Hold on one second, let me get a fact of this right. I'll get one fact. Las Vegas, so it's not in Arizona. Close. Close, it's out there somewhere.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Las Vegas hot dog restaurant apologizes after sorely underestimating the power of Bluey. So here's how it goes. At least in my mind, since I read the story three days ago. Now I'll probably just fuck it all up. Local hot dog restaurant says, it's Bluey Day at the hot dog restaurant. So bring your kids, we're gonna have Bluey.
Starting point is 00:03:40 We're gonna give away trinkets and trinkets and all this swag, this Bluey swag. We're gonna have a fun time. It's going to be a blast," the owner says in a post-event conference, because now he has to go around the entire country apologizing, apparently. He says, listen, I expected like 40 or 50 people, but over 1,500 people RSVP'd on the Facebook event page, and they had lines out the wazoo. They ran out of food, they ran out of swag. The bluey that they had show up was not a bluey
Starting point is 00:04:12 at all. It was one of their workers that was in a poncho, a rain poncho, a bluey rain poncho, and expected to get away with it. Even the kids weren't buying it. Even the children, they interviewed, like the news station was there. The news station showed up to bust the balls of this hot dog stand. It was unbelievable. And now the owners- A bluey poncho. A bluey poncho. Now, you know, granted, I think we're making a mountain out of a mole hill on this one. They just did, they were just having some fun and you guys decided to show up and take it seriously. But a bluey rain pond, you could have done a little bit better.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Yeah, exactly. Go to fucking the Halloween spirit or whatever those things are, empty stores across America and go buy yourself a bluey costume, at least, at least, the very least. I'm not sure this was at all sanctioned. I'm sure it wasn't sanctioned by Disney. No, they're probably going to get sued on top of this. Yes. All this bad press is going to bring them a lawsuit from the good old McDisney company.
Starting point is 00:05:10 But I'm telling you, this show is just taking parents and kids by storm. And it's everywhere. I know, and I've heard this from listeners who've been texting back and forth, I know that if you don't have children, you have no fucking clue what I'm talking about. And I wish I also had no fucking clue what I'm talking about. Trust me. I wish that these children's shows weren't playing 24 hours a day at my house, but Bluey, which we've talked about, which I did a whole ode to Bluey, you gotta watch it. It's really stoned, drunk, fight with your wife, trying to make your relationship better,
Starting point is 00:05:36 trying to be a better person, watch Bluey. It's like the- When in doubt, watch Bluey. It's the entertaining Buddha of children's cartoons. You will get it, It will be funny. And you don't have to have kids. You were a kid to understand what he's going through, but don't fuck with the Bluey parents. Do not fuck with Disney adults. That's all I got to say. The Disney adults will come out of force. So this hot dog stand learning that
Starting point is 00:05:58 the hard way. Yeah, the power of Bluey. The power of Bluey. It feels kind of... I ended up putting on a shitty event. Yeah, well, we've all been guilty of that once or twice, right? So, story time with Brian. Story time with Brian. Here, let me get another- I mean, to me, if they had that many RSVPs, they at least could have had enough food.
Starting point is 00:06:22 I just don't think they took it. I just didn't, I don't think they knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. They must have known something because hence the Bluey event at all. One of them was a parent somewhere, said, I had seen Bluey and I know what this is all about. Let's do a Bluey day at the hot dog stand. But I just think they underestimated totally their ability to control a crowd of 1500 to 2000 people showing up to a hot dog fucking stand in Las Vegas trying to buy Get Schwag, Meet Bluey, all this other stuff.
Starting point is 00:06:50 It just didn't work. So now it's just a bad event. You're right about that. It's bad event planning. Did they have extra porta potties? Was there security? Did they get the street roped off? Did they have lines? Did they have extra hot dogs available? Probably none of that. Hence, and this is all spotlighted by the fact that someone actually went into Walmart or wherever they went and decided that for the bluey costume, let's get a bluey poncho and we'll put Sam in it and Sam can stand out there and disappoint children all across the greater Las Vegas area. Sam can cause nightmares for kids under 10 all across the Las Vegas area. Fucking insane. All right, but bad events,
Starting point is 00:07:33 it's not easy to put on an event. It's not. Story time with Brian. Yes. When I was working at, I used to put on events in a very disorganized and weird way. But I did do some festivals, right? A few of them went off unbelievably without anybody getting killed.
Starting point is 00:07:51 A few trips to the hospital, but that's to be expected when you put on a three-day festival in the mountains without proper electricity security or anything like that. But I got into the restaurant business, or I was in the restaurant business while I was still doing that. And I was into the restaurant business, or I was in the restaurant business while I was still doing that. And I was like the general- It sounds like a good idea.
Starting point is 00:08:09 It's a terrible idea. But it is a lot of work, a lot more work. I'm singing to the choir right now, and not necessarily Chrissy, but her husband. And since they're married, I've heard that they talk to each other. And- We do.
Starting point is 00:08:23 I'm watching on the cameras. The camera's the only cam. It's the only cam. heard that they talk to each other. And I'm watching on the cameras. So Jeff knows all about this because he actually knows how to put on an event and does that pretty well four or five times a year. But I was just a young Buck and Brian. And one time I got invited. Yeah. I got invited to help out with some stuff for the Music Midtown and then the Piedmont Dogwood Festival. And I thought just because I was running one of those stages that I in fact knew how to put on an event-
Starting point is 00:08:53 The whole thing. Yeah. Equally as big and as organized because I had seen, I had a walkie talkie. You heard what was going on. Yeah. I heard what was going on. I was there firsthand, 15 and a half Michelob Ultras into it, because that's what the Dogwood Festival is sponsored by, Michelob Ultras. I never forget that weekend, or a couple of years I did that actually. So, I was working in the restaurant business, I had become a manager, a general manager at this restaurant, like this, that's what they call it, fine dining, but it was a nice restaurant here in where I live.
Starting point is 00:09:26 The Chianti Classico? Chianti Classico, not the Chianti Classico. This was the sushi slash Mexican slash American. Right, right, right. Yeah, where they served every type of food. And on Thursdays, anyone over 50 within a 30 mile radius showed up to get high on cocaine, drunk, and show their fake boobies.
Starting point is 00:09:44 I mean, it was just an unbelievable scene on Thursday. Unbelievable, unbelievable. It was the place to be. It was a Thursday, a Thursday. None of these people had jobs. They all had too much money, but it was fun. It was fun. I do have to say that we had some fun Thursday.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Yeah, so I got this thought in my head. What if, and we had this huge parking lot? It was in this strip mall was an independent building, but that strip mall had a huge parking lot and we had a huge parking lot and on Saturdays and Sundays the parking lot was basically empty There was none of those businesses almost none of them were open And so I got this started rambling around this idea in my head for like a week What if we put on a festival, right? And the restaurant was called Aqua Blue. And so I thought, what if we put on the Aqua Blues Fest, right? And
Starting point is 00:10:30 we get some musicians and we put a stage in the corner and we charge some money. It was a girl that I knew at the time, a lady that I knew, her daughter had cancer, had brain cancer. She was like 10 years old. And I had been to like fun runs and helped raise money for this and that. I just, I really, really had like a soft spot for this young lady who was going through a terrible, terrible thing and likely wasn't going to survive. But I thought, what if we do this and then we give some of it to charity? It's like a benefit, right? And so, after long, long nights of cocaine and Bud Light induced PowerPoint presentationing that my ex-wife would write the PowerPoint presentation while I was pacing back and forth in the house, yelling out to
Starting point is 00:11:11 her what to write. Porta-potties, $10,000. Stage, $5,000. I was just guessing. That's what I was doing. I was guessing. Fencing, $500. $500 for fencing.
Starting point is 00:11:19 It was $50,000 for fencing. So I make this whole PowerPoint presentation. I run over it night after night, drunk after drunk, stoned after drunk, and I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to,000 for fencing. So I make this whole PowerPoint presentation. I run over it night after night, drunk after drunk, stone after stone. And I am just convinced that this is going to not only make a lot of money for whoever decides they're going to put the money out for this, but it's going to make a lot of money for this young lady who I just, you know, I was really, I was trying to be altruistic actually. I didn't
Starting point is 00:11:44 care how much money I had. Yeah, it was. It was. That was back when I gave a shit. Um, no, I don't care anymore. Yes you do. Of course I do. So I go to the owners of this restaurant and I say, Hey guys, here's my plan of action.
Starting point is 00:11:57 I just like plopped down this PowerPoint presentation and I'm like, if you spend a hundred grand, you'll get $5 million back. I don't think it was a hundred grand. I think I'm just guessing, but I think it was like $25,000. Now this is almost two decades ago. So $25,000 is not what it is today. It did go further than. Way further than. So I, $25,000, I could do it for $25,000. I actually made the effort to pick up the phone and call a few of the vendors to ask how much money I would spend. And I'd be like, you know, port-a-potties, I had budgeted $5,000. I actually made the effort to pick up the phone and call a few of the vendors to ask how much money I would spend. And I'd be like, you know, porta potties, I had budgeted $5,000. The guy was like, $1,500. I was like, see, I'm already saving money. Fencing, $5,000. How much is that? $50,000. I was like, what if we make the area smaller? Or what if we don't have any
Starting point is 00:12:38 fencing in this particular area? And the guy was like, well, fine with me, but you do realize that people are just going to walk in, right? And so then I had to convince the guys. 5 with me? Yeah. It's fine with me. I don't know about the guys who are putting up the money, but yeah. Let's just make the circle a little smaller. I got like an actual stage. We're talking like a professional stage up high in the air, big speakers, lighting, the whole nine yards. And so we spent months planning this and everybody was getting really, really excited. And we had a PR firm and they did PR and I expected, I had estimated, and I think the number was 10,000
Starting point is 00:13:17 people were going to show up to this. To the tiny fence. It was a big park. Well, actually we ended up buying more fencing so we can make it bigger because everyone was convinced this was just going to, it was going to be huge. It was going to be the Lollapalooza of the parking lot in North Atlanta. It was a fucking parking lot. It was a parking lot. I mean, which is fine for a day fest, you know, it's not like we had people camping there. I mean, I camped there, but we didn't have anybody else camping there. So I convinced these owners and they are gung ho, to their credit, they go right along with it.
Starting point is 00:13:51 I go way over the budget. Of course you do. That's just what happens. You know, I'm paying the bands this and the stage guy that and the lighting crew this, and then I got to get security and I got to have off duty officers and I got to check IDs and have bracelets
Starting point is 00:14:02 and then we get cups made and shirts and hats and all this other stuff. So we got it all. I mean, I really think I tried my best to have this pretty well thought out. So two nights before we start coning off, like roping off some of the parking lot, right? Okay. I think we had it on a Saturday night. So like late Thursday night, I start roping off parts of the areas.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Remember, me and my brother Danny were out there doing this by ourselves, you know, flashlights in the middle of the night, roping off- An empty parking lot. Yeah, an empty parking lot that no one was parking anyway. Anyway, so the night before the stage comes in, the fencing's coming, the trash cans, all this other stuff, everyone's kind of arriving between seven and two in the morning. So we are really busy between 7 and 2 in the morning. The one thing that we had forgotten about, the one thing that we didn't take into consideration, the one thing I wish I had thought better of was rain.
Starting point is 00:14:56 What happens if rain comes? Oh, the weather. So 24 hours before this goes off, I am smiling and dialing everybody that I can to find event insurance, rain insurance. And I finally get a company that says, okay, we'll do it. But it has to be, you know, the rain has to rain more than a quarter of an inch in an hour as per the weather station at the local airport, the airport that's closest. And I'm like, okay. And no shit. It is scheduled to rain the entire fucking day. Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain.
Starting point is 00:15:28 And I'm like, okay, but at least we have event insurance. They'll pay out in case, right? So now we are all praying for more than a quarter of inch of rain to happen during this festival. Total washout. That's what we want now. Total washout and we make big bucks. It's going to be fun.
Starting point is 00:15:42 We'll have a great time. Dance it in the rain. Yeah. It never rained more than a quarter of an inch anywhere at that airport. However, it did rain at least five inches exactly where we were. That's what, that was the problem. Chrissy, this thing failed in so many ways. I can't even tell you. It wasn't the worst event I've put on, but it was pretty, it was probably the biggest flop that I've had because I'll tell you what, we had sold like these vendors, these booths around the gate, right? We're talking like probably like a 45,000 square foot area.
Starting point is 00:16:13 I mean, I just had it all fenced off. I don't think at any given time was there more than 500 people in the restaurant, out of the restaurant, in the parking lot. And that's including the vendors and people that were there working with the band. I'll never forget that the first band that played, played to no one. It was pouring down rain. Somehow it was still 98 degrees outside and it was just pouring down rain. So it ended up turning into a shit show where all 500 people crammed into the
Starting point is 00:16:41 restaurant and the bartenders couldn't handle it. We didn't have enough staff, we didn't have enough beer, we didn't have enough wine. So eventually the bartenders, I think, I'm pretty sure just started, we had to call in other bartenders from other restaurants. They didn't even know our bar. They were just like showing up to help and they were just pouring drinks. Of course they were, they weren't charging anybody. Give me a tip, $10, whatever. It turned into absolute debauchery. Ma'am. Yeah. Not only that, but someone decided to fight the drug dealer super early in the afternoon. So everyone was twacked out. I mean, twacked, twacked, gums grinding. Everyone that worked
Starting point is 00:17:18 at that festival, quote unquote, worked at it, volunteered at it, at least got paid in rails, because it was just like, you could tell who was with us because we were like, grinding their teeth to us, mortgage mortgage, these are like little tiny little nubs. It was terrible, terrible. Somehow, some way, we broke even. Somehow, some way we broke even. somehow some way we broke even. Wow, I did not expect you to say that. I didn't expect that to happen. And I wasn't in charge of the money, so I don't really know,
Starting point is 00:17:53 but when it was all said and done, they were like, well, at least we didn't lose money. We broke even. And I was like, oh, okay, is there any leftover for me? And I was like, production management? No, no, no, no. None left for you, Bri. Could you get that stage out of our parking lot? Because we have to open on Sundays now, thanks to you, for the next three years. That
Starting point is 00:18:13 restaurant, by the way, bulldozed three years ago. Thanks, Aqua Blues Fest. Thanks so much. The funny thing is that they think I remember going to that place and what you're talking about is before we knew each other. But I think I went to that restaurant one time on a Thursday night on a whim, because I was in the area for like a networking event or something. And a friend of mine who we both know and I went to there
Starting point is 00:18:43 and it was wild on that Thursday night. Wild! Yeah, you were right. It was an older crowd. Everybody was flashing money and veneers and boobs and yeah it was crazy. Yeah, tits, cash, AmEx, platinum's like I mean it was just incredibly wild on Thursday night. Because they had these specials, it was like ladies night or something. It was free appetizers. We put out free appetizers for the first two hours, but the party would last until like one in the morning. We literally stayed open. The restaurant closed at 10 on every other night, except for Fridays and Saturdays that close at 11. But we had to stay until one in the morning
Starting point is 00:19:20 on Thursdays because it was a money maker. They just put out some free appetizers and what ended up happening? Anyone, like I said, anyone over 50, 55 years old that was single, not single, swingers, I don't know. It was the place. I'm under this impression and I think I understand why. I think I was in my late twenties and I left. I was like, I can't hang. I can't hang. These people are crazy. These guys are buying infinite Jaeger shots on and on forever. The drug dealers have never been so busy. You could tell who they were because they were the youngest guys in the room, but they were just like happiest clam. When that
Starting point is 00:19:54 thing got bulldozed, I bet some drug dealers went out of business. I'm being serious. Because I think those Thursdays went on until the day it closed, decades after I stopped working there. But I'm telling you right now, it was just like, I'm under the impression that older folks, now older folks, people that were born in the 50s, 60s, maybe even the early 70s, they don't give to fucking shit. They want to get fucking lit up. It's like the villages. They want to get lit up. It's so true. They don't care. They grew up with it. They're ready to do it again. They probably put it down for a period of their life and said, you know what, I got to be on the straight and narrow, raise these
Starting point is 00:20:33 children, have, you know, Yeah, the kids are grown. They've been divorced and remarried once or twice. And they're ready to just party. Yeah, they're like, the 80s was fantastic. I did so much cocaine and now I've got the money to do it. I've got the money to do it and a self-driving Tesla to get me home. What do I give a shit about? I am going to go fucking ape shit. Yes. That's what is happening. They have boats. They're boating. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, boats. I got boats. I got a boat.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Yeah, yeah, congratulations. It's a hole where you put money in. You might as well just take a fishing line and throw a bag of cash out there. It's a fucking, I got a boat. I got it on Lake Lanier. I got a Tesla. I'm in the best shape of my life. I got free appetizers and a gold card.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Who's got cocaine? You've seen these dudes. They're out there. You know who they are. They're in their 60s. They're Frankie B's. I'm home with them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:34 They're Frankie B's. Yeah. They go boating on the weekends and just get wasted out there too. And then they're at the Thursday night sushi place. Yes, they're at the Thursday night sushi place. And it doesn't matter. They basically work Monday through Wednesday. They don't work.
Starting point is 00:21:47 What does it work? Well, they manage their real estate portfolio or something. They move money from their Smith Barnea card to their Barclays account. God, let me just move some money around. We've all seen these dudes. It's the dudes who are likely gray, probably have that, you know, have that hair implant thing that I probably should start thinking about getting. And it doesn't matter what time of year it is, they are red as a fucking tomato. They're just red. And
Starting point is 00:22:16 I don't know because they're angry. Yeah. High on cocaine. Yeah. Their skin is like crackled and broken and they're like, ah, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle,
Starting point is 00:22:30 gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, g There's another Thursday night somewhere I got to find it when I get that age. I'm not there yet. Okay. We need to start scoping. I still have another 26 years before I get these kids out of the house. I'm going to be pretty old, Chrissy. We'll just go straight to the villages. Hey, listen, the villages is not a bad option because there's a big, that's a big fucking party down there. This is what's got me convinced because I'm reading all these stories, documentaries, everything about these fucking
Starting point is 00:23:05 villages where it is just ape shit. The cops are like busting people with 10 pounds of crystal meth. STDs are rampant. STDs are rampant. People like, they just caught a guy like three weeks ago. He had 450 tablets of ex the pure NVMA flown in from Switzerland, they caught him flying back to the villages on a private jet. He lives in the villages. He was like, I'm personal use. Personal use? Personal use? Why not?
Starting point is 00:23:36 Yeah. Do a little hashtag ayahuasca on Instagram and see how many of those very red human beings have decided they're going to get spiritually aligned with their chakras using ayahuasca in some Costa Rican jungle where you can also then go to the local brothel and get laid. That's right. All right, let's take a break. We'll talk more about the villages when we get back. I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break and then follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast. Done?
Starting point is 00:24:12 Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB? Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCV. And don't forget to check out tcdpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the
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Starting point is 00:25:43 I'm Tank Sinatra. And I'm Investigator Slater. And together, we co-host a podcast called Psychopedia, which is a true crime podcast infused with comedy, making it a crime-ity. Each week, Investigator Slater brings us a wild and thoroughly researched true crime case. I'm here to digest it all and react just like you probably are
Starting point is 00:25:58 right there on the other side of the microphone. Somehow, I've got to present each case with the detail and respect it deserves, while also cracking up at Tank's perfectly timed humor and thought-provoking questions. Listen to and follow Psychopedia on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, I mean, it's wild. My dad isn't part of that group, but I kind of wish he was.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Me too. My dad's in the age group where he could be doing it, and he has a boat. Yeah, he's got a boat. What? Dad, come on, get right with God. He's living a simple life. My dad was never into that stuff. No, me either.
Starting point is 00:26:38 I don't think my dad has ever done drugs in his entire life. At least that's the line that he's been toeing for so many years with us, right? I think he didn't want him. If he did, I don't think he wanted to make it a door opener for us. Number one, number two, if he did, I think it was maybe once, maybe one time. Yeah, I think my dad smoked pot in college, but that's it. I mean, he was never a drinker, a smoker, nothing growing up. Didn't go out. Boys nights, nothing like that. Jared Ranere What a shame because, you know, I don't need it, but because I already have a lot of drama when it comes to parents, but I would think that it would be fun every once in a while to get a phone call from your drunk father,
Starting point is 00:27:15 your high father and just be like, ah, I need you to pick me up at the strip club. Jennifer Snell I had a friend and her dad was like that and he was so much fun. Jared Ranere He was? Jennifer Snell Yeah. Jared Ranere Yeah. I had a friend like that, I think I told you, I had a friend like that and her dad was like that and he was so much fun. Jared Sussman He was? Beth Dombkowski Yeah. Jared Sussman Yeah. Jared Sussman I had a friend like that. I think I told you, I had a friend like that and her dad was, he had cashed in because he wrote a software program and that software program he sold for like a couple hundred million dollars. And so then he kind of dabbled in work, but he never really went back to work full-time. So, the house,
Starting point is 00:27:40 the very large house in the very nice part of town, just became this very dysfunctional family of strippers, high price call girls that would literally raise my friend when she was in her teenage years. But she knew better, right? It was interesting to get into the house and see it all go down. There'd be like these 26 year old girls, beautiful women, a lot of them very intelligent and empathetic and, you know, just like lovely human beings. But it'd be funny because my friend would be the one raising them, though it appeared that they were raising my friend. And her dad would just be like in the jacuzzi chewing on Percocet and like, he just had too much money and too much time. But I was always like, eh, if my dad would just,
Starting point is 00:28:27 could be like that for a couple of days. You know, I don't want, I like my dad just the way he is, but just for a couple of days, say, I got a son, picked me up at the purple elephant, I'm so fucked up, but I'm taking TikTok home with me. What's TikTok, dad? I don't know, it's her name. Show up and my dad's got some skinny
Starting point is 00:28:46 stripper with him. Just like, hey, brother, I didn't know what to get any blow. I do, dad. I do. It's been a long time, but I'll make D. What up, D? I'm sorry, who's this? You know D's had 34 phone numbers between the last time I called him and now. Oh, you know it. They change those things out. They have to. I'd actually love to hear from people who have fathers that we're talking about. If you have a father who in his older age just went the opposite direction, like a lot of fathers, they get more weird as time goes on.
Starting point is 00:29:20 They start pulling up their socks to their knees and they wear fanny packs and they check you know, check out things in the library and bring them back on time. Their whole day revolves around the- Beth Dombkowski Practicalness. Jared Sussman Yes, the next tax return. You know what I'm saying? Beth Dombkowski Yes. Jared Sussman Like, there's a lot of fathers that I know like that because I have one. But what about the fathers that went the opposite direction? I want to hear about those dads. If you've got one of those fathers, text us because I'd like to hear, or you can come on the show. I'd
Starting point is 00:29:44 love to hear that. I'd love to hear about it directly from your mouth. Please and thank you. You know, I'm completely off topic as often we do. Have you been seeing the ozempic face thing that's going on? No, I mean, I've read about it. It just, what, it's just a thinner face? Yeah, but it's like the because... So here's what I read about these weight loss drugs, and tell me if this sounds like it's true. When you lose the weight, you either lose fat mass or muscle fat, right? It's either like fat fat or muscle fat or something along those lines. And that ozempic is actually eating away at mostly at the healthy fat, the muscle fat. It takes, it burns off some of the regular fat, but then it's also making you like leaner as far as muscle is
Starting point is 00:30:30 concerned. And so some doctors are saying this is not really a healthy way to lose weight because over time, you know, you can, it can cause a lot of problems to just be losing muscle to just have it eating away at the muscle. Well, I think that's the thing. I think there's a right way to use those in the wrong way. And it's not just, you can't just not eat and not exercise. No. And yeah, you're gonna lose weight because you're not eating,
Starting point is 00:30:54 but you're also not exercising either. And you may not even be, and when you do eat, maybe you're not eating healthy things. You know, so I think some people just are doing it the wrong way. I don't know. Would you take Ozempic? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:09 You would? I think so. Interesting. I don't know. I don't know. I'm debating it in my... I don't think I need to take Ozempic, but if I did need to take Ozempic, maybe I would give it a try.
Starting point is 00:31:21 I think it can be a good tool if you use it the right way. Yeah. I mean, that's how that's being pitched now, right? So all the big weight loss companies now have some component of them, whether they bought a company that was like online prescribing Ozempic or similar drugs like Wegovi or something like that, or whether or not they have actual adjunct doctors working inside of their companies, almost every big weight loss company, Weight Watchers and all these other ones, they are now offering medical intervention in the form of these drugs. And so there's so many people that are taking them. And I think they're still terribly expensive. So I do believe that it's just mostly people who can afford it that are getting them. And, you know, you hear your horror stories, of course you're going to, no matter what medical technology is out there, you're going to hear a horror story. And, but Ozempic face is the new thing that everyone is talking about because
Starting point is 00:32:09 people lose weight so quickly and they're losing a little bit of muscle too. They kind of get those indentations in their face like this and it looks a little weird and they're like, I was looking through a gallery of celebrities who either have admitted to or suspected to have been using Ozempic where their face just gets so gaunted thin. Jessica, who is the girl, the chicken of the sea girl, Jessica Simpson? Jessica Simpson was one of them and it was disturbing. I mean, it was like disturbing.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I thought to myself, I mean, listen, everyone can take a bad picture and be caught in a bad light or maybe it was edited. I'm not sure. But if it was, if the picture I looked at was accurate, if it was an actual photograph that was taken, she did not look healthy. It looked really kind of sickening. It reminded me of those old pink Floyd videos, you know, you know when you're high on acid and like the pink Floyd, the wall would come on and be like, tear down the wall,, down the wall, those weird people with the long faces. That's what it reminded me of. It reminded me of like a real life zombie
Starting point is 00:33:09 almost coming to life. And between the Delta 8, what's that shit that people are taking, between Delta 8 and Delta 10, Delta 9 or whatever. These derivatives of cannabis, right? That's right. They sell them everywhere. They sell, I just passed the store this afternoon, they're popping up on every corner, we sell THC. No, you don't really sell THC, you sell some manipulated version of THC. I mean, I understand it's technically THC, but it's not like the real good kind, like the dippity dabs, you know, just a little teeny, just a little tasty teeny. But between the Ozempic and the Delta 8, I think we have like real life zombies out there
Starting point is 00:33:46 in the world. That's a good beat. I feel like it. We're actually turning ourselves into zombies. And that is a little bit strange to me. That's the thing that I fear about any of these medical interventions, like, you know, getting a lot of plastic surgery done or taking weight loss drugs or whatever, is that you do something that causes irreparable harm. And at my age,
Starting point is 00:34:12 I don't have a lot of time left, Kirsty. I'm thinking five, seven years maybe I got left. And I don't want to ruin it by having Ozempic face. Now, I'm not saying that that happens to everybody. It probably doesn't. And I think there are a lot of people who are using ozempic to great benefit. But I don't think it's the panacea that everyone thinks that it is, or that at least the impression is that, oh my gosh, I can lose 20% of my body weight just by taking this drug, and you know, it's a medical problem, medical intervention, maybe so. But it's brand new, and there isn't a lot of scientific proof about one way or the other after five years.
Starting point is 00:34:46 And now you're walking around looking like the, you know, scary stick figure in a bad horror movie. I don't know what benefit that does to anybody. Now you just look scary. Nicole Soule-I don't know. I need to take a look at these, this gallery. Jared Soule-I don't know. We have friends that have been taking it for a long time. They look fantastic. But yeah, but they're young. They can bounce back from stuff like that. They're not like us. They're not like us. They're not in their mid seventies, hoping, praying that something comes along to, you know, fix all of our woes. Now, if they would start mixing in like a little bit of, I say there's a cocktail out there that I would like to try,
Starting point is 00:35:25 that I think not only will do weight loss, but then will also, it's for the older people, the people, the Thursday night aqua blue people. Yeah. Thursday night aqua blue people, we need a cocktail of like a little bit of Jaegermeister, a little bit of amphetamines, like maybe some crushed up redwood, a little bit of methadone, just to chill everybody out a little bit, and then ozempic. And if we put those three together and we can just keep juicing our old people, we could probably get them to live like 200 years, not that we want to, but we could probably get them to live like 200 years old.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Who doesn't want that? I know. I mean, look, you know, that would be a cocktail that I would take daily. Yeah. Especially if I didn't actually have to drink the Jägermeister. Ha ha, no, God. Which is one of the most fucking disgusting things. I know.
Starting point is 00:36:04 I mean, I loved Jägermeister when I drank it. It is one of the most fucking disgusting. I know. I mean, I loved Jägermeister when I drank it. It was one of those things that just went down the back of the throat. I never did, but that's just what everybody- You never did. I never liked it, but that's just what everybody was drinking and ordering.
Starting point is 00:36:14 I know you did Jäger bombs with it. I know I did and I hated it. Yeah. What? But when you know your boss comes over with a tray full of them and says, Hey everybody. Hey team building. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Then you shoot it. Hey, I know it's, I know it's four 30 in the afternoon and we're just finishing up nine innings of drinking, but we're going to go back and cold call, cold call, cold call. So take a couple more Jäger shots. It's Chrissy from the radio station. I was wondering if a Jäger shots. It's Chrissy from the radio station. I was wondering if- Jäger face. Let me call you, yeah, Jäger face.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Oh yeah, that Jäger face. You can't mistake Jäger face and a Zephyc face. They're very similar. Only one is induced by just not being able to lift your jaw up off the ground. It was like that heavy kind of drunk too. When you drink a lot of Jägermeister, you're like, you know, just slogging through
Starting point is 00:37:07 an ocean of sand. Yeah, there's no reason for it. Now, what were we, what were we, what do we drink a lot of when we're up there? What kind of shots was it? Jäger balms. Yeah, the Jäger Balm. I think is what we would do.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Yeah, the fucking Red Bull and Jäger. Cough syrup and cough syrup together. And licorice. Yeah, licorice and cough syrup combined in one tasty drink It'll make your heart race and make you puke at the end of the night All for the little price of 1499 One of those yeah, one of those fucking Red Bull cans was like seven dollars. It was Yeah
Starting point is 00:37:40 The biggest ripoff in the entire bar is a Jaeger bomb I'm telling you that right now and it doesn't work work. Think about it. One's taking you up and one's bringing you down. Picking shoes, kids. Picking shoes. So then you're just a way blackout drunk. That's not what happened. I know. I remember. Do you? I remember. I kind of remember.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Yeah. I kind of remember. I mean, I remember being up at night. I don't remember what happened before then, but I remember being up at night. I am telling you, there is two of the worst feelings in the world. Number one, you are strung out on some kind of stimulant and you cannot go to sleep no matter how much alcohol you drink. That is the worst feeling. And you have to work in the morning. You know it's coming. There is no- Time's ticking. Time's ticking. Time is a wheel in constant motion. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Starting point is 00:38:27 If you got to go to work at 8 a.m. and it's 4.30 a.m. and you're out of whatever stimulant you've been sniffing for the last eight hours, and you've drank all the Bud Light in the refrigerator, and you know you're too drunk to get in the car and get more, and you just have to deal with it, and you cannot go to sleep, it is one of the worst feelings in the world.
Starting point is 00:38:44 I literally remember thinking, I could jump off my roof right now And you just have to deal with it and you cannot go to sleep. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. I literally remember thinking I could jump off my roof right now and land headfirst on the cement and probably feel better than I do right now. And then number two is a stimulant-induced drunk. So when you were drinking Red Bull or coffee or whatever it was to try and get rid of the drunk, because it was the same thing, only now you're fucking hung over and you can't sleep. That is the worst feeling in my opinion. That's one of the worst feelings in the world. Nicole Soule-Northam Yeah, those are bad. Jared Suellenthal Yeah, that's why I'm glad I haven't had
Starting point is 00:39:13 one of those in a long time. I can't imagine raising children. I, you know, I've had friends that did that. I had friends that like went out, party, party, party, party, party and had small kids that would come home. They would take care of the kids that wake up in the morning. And I just, I never understand, I can never understand for the life of me. That's hard. Ever. How you can function as a grown ass adult raising these little tiny blobs of nothing and be hungover. No.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Or be high or be so drunk you're blackout. That is- Miserable. Is it miserable or is it magic? Remember how we were talking about David Blaine and how was it magic or was it just a test of endurance and his strength? And it's not really magic. He's not doing magic. He's just like putting himself on a block of ice for eight hours. So I think it's kind of like magic, those people who can handle it. It's not really magic. It's just you being able to endure the pain after pain after pain that must come when you have a terrible headache, you're strung out, your heart is racing, and then It's just you being able to endure the pain after pain after pain that must come when
Starting point is 00:40:05 you have a terrible headache, you're strung out, your heart is racing, and then your kids come in in the morning and say, I want fucking breakfast. I literally would have thrown myself through a plate class window. I would have been like, ah, I can't do it. There's no way. Yeah, you got to taper that off. I remember friends that would take their children to big long parties in the woods, four or five days, right? And then, I guess, just hope everything turned out okay. Maybe worse.
Starting point is 00:40:34 I remember being at these festivals and there were kids running around and then I'd see the parents at night and they'd be like howling at the moon with face paint and stealing Indian head gear. Tits out, dicks flying. Moon circle or whatever is going on, mother moon circle. And I think to myself, well, I guess the kids are asleep. I guess they're fine here in the woods with thousands of other creepy people doing the howl at the moon bullshit. I guess they're perfectly fine. Danielle Pletka Oh, was there usually like a dead mother that was maybe kind of watching over them? Jared Sussman I think the older teenagers, the teenagers were taking care of the young,
Starting point is 00:41:19 making, you know, they couldn't quite get in the fracas because they were a little bit too young, you know, 15, 16, 17 years old. They were a little bit too young. But I think it would, they became like the mama hens for the night and they would take care of it. But still, think about the minutiae behind that. There is no good excuse. I'm not excusing any of that behavior because I always thought it was weird. I'll always think, during the day, perfectly loved, you know, a lot of hippies tripping on ass and staring at a stream. Yeah, okay, whatever. Cool. You know, things can't go too wrong, I suppose. But once it turns nighttime, those kids are in a tent by themselves, sleeping?
Starting point is 00:41:52 While you're out here at the moon, mother moon circle? Give me a break. What's going on? My kids will never be asleep in a tent while I'm at a mother moon cycle. Never. I usually never say never, but in this one, I can be sure. My kids will, I just at a mother moon cycle. Never. I usually never say never, but in this one, I can be sure. My kids, I just feel too responsible. I don't think my brain would be able to relax like that. Lauren Ruffin No.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Jared Sarkissian I'm not saying it's wrong for everybody. I'm sure that there's plenty of people right now that go, I take my kids to Ballapalooza, you know, Bonnaroo or whatever. Well, good for you. You're a terrible parent. Lauren Ruffin The kids are cute when they've got the headphones on. Jared Sarkissian They are, yeah. Lauren Ruffin They would bop it around the festivals. I saw a couple of that. a terrible parent. Nicole Soule-Nagant The kids are cute when they've got the headphones on. Jared Slauson They are, yeah. I do have to say that.
Starting point is 00:42:26 Nicole Soule-Nagant And they're bopping around the festivals. I saw a couple of that. Jared Slauson And I'm sure that there's plenty of parents who go there and they act like responsible parents while they're having fun, right? They have a couple beers and they go to bed with their kids and whatever, but I just can't see.
Starting point is 00:42:36 Mainly, I think I'd just be annoyed by the whole thing. I'd be like, God, leave me alone. I just want to get drunk and, you know. Nicole Soule-Nagant The camping ones for sure. Jared Slauson Yeah, I just want to get it. I just want to wear a kilt and show everybody my penis. Can you go back to bed? Daddy wants to get started at 2 PM. Everybody get in there,
Starting point is 00:42:52 snuggle up in their PJs. I know it's 106 degrees outside, but get in that hot tent. Shut up. If you want water, there's a stream over there. Stay away from Andy. He's kind of creepy. Okay, love you. I'm five. Yeah, one of it. It's the real world. I'm also five. Five hits of ecstasy in, so shut up. I'm trying to relax. Daddy's trying to have a good time at this creepy festival, so leave me alone. All right. We'll be back. All right, we'll be back. Guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember! So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3TCB.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Once more for the people in the back, that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash The Commercial Break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. When you walk into a store, and it doesn't matter which store, maybe you can tell me which store, when you walk into a store, do you ever feel the sudden urge to poop? I did not know where that was going. Well, I thought I just surprised you there. No.
Starting point is 00:44:30 I thought I'd surprise you with my shit related question. No, unless it's like I've just eaten something that's upsetting my stomach. Upsetting your stomach? Yeah. But no, not on like a normal person. Yeah, I usually stay away from stores for the first hour and a half of the day.
Starting point is 00:44:42 I let my coffee get in there and do its work and have my morning press conference and then I'm good. Nine times out of 10, I'm not ever feeling the urge to poop anywhere except my own bathroom. And that includes vacation. Sometimes I'll just go days without pooping, waiting for my throne. That's not healthy. There's a lot of things that aren't healthy that I do. You think that cream and cereal I'm eating at night is doing me any good? No. There is a phenomenon. Here, I'm going to let this doctor talk about it. Let's listen to this Instagram reel.
Starting point is 00:45:13 You all get this sudden urge to poop when you enter bookstores. Yo, this is a true medical phenomenon called Aoki Mariko. What's happening is a monotonous, predictable environment like a bookstore causes decreased vagus nerve activity. This dampens the brakes on your gastro-colic reflex, which is the physiological need to defecate after eating. So when the reflex kicks in strongly, this induces a sudden need to poo. Jared Sussman Oh, yeah. My vagus nerve is all loosey-goosey. In the bookstore thing.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Yeah. Akioki, Markeoki or something? There's a Seinfeld episode too that involves pooping with a book at the bookstore. Oh, really? And he tries to return it and they're like, it's been in the bathroom. I wonder if that's why we feel the urge, some people feel the urge to go poop in a bookstore is because for years, and I mean, many more years than we've had phones, some people feel the urge to go poop in a bookstore is because, for years, and I mean many more years than we've had phones, we didn't have phones. You had to have a book or
Starting point is 00:46:10 a magazine if you wanted to enjoy some shit time reading, you know what I'm saying? Some poopy time reading. And so, maybe our brains, generation after generation after generation, our brains and our bodies have been trained that when there's a book in front of us, we just have to go poo poo. Number two, pee pee poo poo. Maybe. What are we talking about for a living? I don't know. What do we do for a living? Pee pee poo poo.
Starting point is 00:46:39 Pee pee poo poo. Oh, what's that? Hey. Oh, that was the megaphone. Pee pee poo poo. Oh, what's that? Hey. Oh, that was the megaphone. Beep beep boop boop. I'm like, I'm wondering if I'm making an actual connection there that makes sense, like physiologically. It makes sense to me. I don't get the urge to poop when I go into stores, but this doctor goes on to explain that it's not just book stores, it's all kind of stores, that some people, when they get into a store, feel the need to go number two. I have an immediate family member. I'm not going to share the name because I don't want to embarrass. But
Starting point is 00:47:11 every time that we went to a restaurant, every time, he had to go to the bathroom. Every single time, without fail. Didn't matter where we were, what state we were in, what country we were in, what restaurant it was, it could be Chuck E. fucking't matter where we were, what state we were in, what country we were in, what restaurant it was. Could be Chuck E. fucking Cheese. And we were all excited to get on the slide and play with the balls and watch the creepy animatronics. And this guy would need to immediately visit the bathroom. He'd be gone for five to 10 to 15 to 20 minutes and then he'd come back. I always assumed, and you know, it started becoming a running joke. And I always assumed, well, he's just likes to check out the bathrooms. He's like the bathroom inspector, right? Go inspect the bathroom, make sure everything's
Starting point is 00:47:46 okay. And he swears he was just smoking cigarettes. But he was like nine or 10 when this started and I don't think he was smoking cigarettes. I just don't think he was getting away with that. I believe maybe when he got older, that's what was going on. But this was going on for years and years and years. And so, maybe he had that problem with restaurants. Sounds like it. Maybe the second he walked in, it was just like his, what is that, that vagus nerve and the coral floral reflexes and the yakioki mokioki? It just all came together. The yakioki mokioki hit your vagus nerve into your coral floral reflexes, and then all of a sudden, you…
Starting point is 00:48:17 Science. Yeah, you got brown down there. I mean, it's just one of those things, it's science. Science! Science! When you mix a little paper with a good smell of a hardback, all of a sudden your vagy nerve goes wookie-bookie. And wha-bam! You shit yourself! Science! Sometimes when you get into the Red Lobster, you smell the dying fish and you go, wham, I just shat myself. Science.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Did you see the Red Lobster? Oh, yes. And the chilies, your beloved old workspace. That's a shame because. They're closing down. Both of them are also wizardry. It's hard to believe we kept going to those for years. No more chicken bun biscuits or whatever they got.
Starting point is 00:49:08 They're baked in cheese. Oh, the cheddar biscuits. Oh, cheddar. When it's cheddar, it's better. Is that getting to your vagus nerve? You know what else hits your vagus nerve? Cheddar better biscuits. And it's your chloroflora.
Starting point is 00:49:24 The wham, poopy down there, or a diaper. Yes, I did hear about the unfortunate. I'd never like to see when people lose their jobs. That's the thing that kind of sucks. And actually, there actually is one last surviving red lobster in the Atlanta area is not too far away from where I live. And so I guess it's going to close down. And the Chili's has dispelled the rumor, Brinker International owns Chili's, has dispelled the rumor that all Chili's are closing. That's not true.
Starting point is 00:49:52 They have been closing some of the stores, but I just really can't believe that some of them are still open. I mean, I haven't been to a Chili's in years. No, it's been a long time. I also did work there for a long time. So maybe I'm just my body can't handle any more Bloomin' Onion sauce. Speak about Vegas nerve. Have an awesome blossom and see what happens to you.
Starting point is 00:50:14 Bloomin' Onion, whatever they call it. It was the place to go for a while there. It was hot shit, man. That bar would be packed on Friday and Saturday nights. Packed, it really would be packed. And people were having a good time. And I guess it was something different. It was, you know, fun, Western style theme, lots of stuff to look at the wall, many TVs, you know, fun, young bartenders and waiters and waitresses. I guess it had some allure to like the familial
Starting point is 00:50:38 society of America was like, oh, it's cheap. I could bring the whole family there. The food is there. You know, it's there. There's food. It's there. And it's light and bright and we get to go and have a good time. When we get free chips and salsa, which is what I really found out a lot of people did, is they came for the free chips and salsa. You had to buy at least one thing, like a Coke or something, you know? But then you get free chips and salsa.
Starting point is 00:50:59 And we weren't allowed to say no. People would sit there literally for two hours and eat free chips and salsa and have one Coca-Cola. Yes. Yes. Because of course, it's a meal for a dollar, right? But Chili's has, I think, long since, we've long since let go of our longing for those baby bag, baby bag ribs. And I saw a commercial where, and I don't know if this is a good strategy on behalf of Brinker, I'm not sure, where they compared their brand new burger deal, which is like, you know, big, big Chili's burger or whatever, the big outlaw burger and endless fries or I, who knows what they're selling over there. And they were comparing it to a Big Mac. They
Starting point is 00:51:44 were saying, if you're going to pay 10.99 for a Big Mac, come to Chili's where the meat is better, flame broiled, you know, extra shitty cheese with guacamole and bacon and hot sauce and blue and onion sauce and endless fries for all for 10.99. So they comparing their burger to a McDonald's a burger. Okay, so they're trying to go into that category. Yeah, they're literally sending themselves even lower. A fast casual just isn't what it used to be. And I think the pandemic probably did a lot of those places in. But you know, if you're going to compare yourself to McDonald's, well, then I expect that I can drive through Chili's and get myself a double bulb of burger.
Starting point is 00:52:24 You know what I'm saying? Like, that's what I'd like. But the truth is, is that's never going to happen. It's never going to be a McDonald's. Like, you got to go in there and sit down and take the food and take the order. Last time I was at a Chili's, they literally had like a small iPad on the table. And it was like, order your food here. Order my food here? What? Where are we? Where? Is this a Sonic drive-through? What am I doing? Why am I ordering my son? And then I got to tip the waiter or waitress? Now listen, I'll tip waiters or waitresses 40% all day long because I know how difficult it is. But when there's no one there to do anything except just put my drinks on the table, I don't know, it seemed a little, it seemed a little weird to me that all of a sudden now we're ordering. I know technology is
Starting point is 00:53:03 going to change our lives. I know it's already changed our lives in many, technology! What's that? The chilies? Chilies was around when I was a kid. We used to take our square wheeled mule wagon down to the chilies, get ourselves a double bubble fond burger. I realize that technology has changed our lives in so many ways, and I don't push against it because that's a dumb thing to do. Life is going to continue to evolve. But ordering of a small electronic box that looks a lot like this gear that I have right here on the table, ordering my food and then having to tip someone to do that seems a little strange to me. I'm just sharing that. And I think the Chili's are doing,
Starting point is 00:53:49 they're doing the best they can just to survive. Nicole Soule-North They're doing the best they can. And I think, you know, I think there is going to be a, the way that places are going to make themselves different is going to be because they've got personal human service. Jared Slauson Yeah, like us. You know, we've said we're not going to ever be an AI show, mainly because no one's going to spend the computing power to ever put us into AI, but we're never going to be an AI show. You're always going to have that human touch right here at the commercial.
Starting point is 00:54:16 That's right. Science! Humans! Woo-klee-booklee! I do love that quantum wit. That's right. You put a little Frankie B with some mountain monsters and then Brian's ridiculous stories and Chrissy can't stop laughing.
Starting point is 00:54:35 And what do you have? Wabam! The mediocre podcast in the entire universe. It's wizardry. It's hard to be this not good. It takes true professionalism to be this bad. We are literally the worst of the worst on purpose. We've made a deal with the devil! Yes we did. Only 655,000 more episodes to contractually go. And we'll be here with you every step of the way.
Starting point is 00:55:14 No computers here kids. No computers here. Don't worry. We literally don't know how to use them. So no computers here. Chrissy hasn't been on Instagram since 1997 You put your address in and someone showed up to fuck you It was Tinder long before Tinder oh
Starting point is 00:55:44 Man, we didn't even get into the subject today, which is let's talk about Love is Blind and the big expose on the New Yorker. So maybe we'll have to get that at tomorrow's episode. We will address the Love is Blind expose on the New Yorker. Pre-record was at Homework is for you to go read that. Read that article. I'll help. I'll help you. I never thought penicillin was going to make me feel this way, but the reason why I'm a little dopey today is because I took penicillin and it made me really sick really quick.
Starting point is 00:56:15 So strange. So I'm just trying to keep my head from spinning in circles. Isn't that strange? Have you been to the bathroom? No. My vagus nerve has not released yet, but there's nothing in there to release because I already did my morning press conference. Okay, that's good. All right, 212-433-3TCB.
Starting point is 00:56:29 That's 1-2-1-2-433-3TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas you want to be on the show as a special guest. We'd love to have you or at least I'd like to talk to you about it. Send us a text message or leave us a voicemail. You can always dial up with 212-433-3TCB. Also we'd like to know if you'd like to go to shows, live shows, live TCB shows in Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee, Chicago, New York. Anything east of the Mississippi, let us know. Anything east of the Mississippi let us know anything east of the Mississippi
Starting point is 00:57:07 let us know the West is too far we're not gonna go we'd also like you to go to the website TCB podcast com that's where you go you can find more information about Chrissy and I all the show notes links to our guests all of it right there one location you can also get your free TCB sticker go to the contact us button drop down menu. I want my sticker. Give us your address away we will go at the commercial break on Instagram. We sure would appreciate it if you would follow us and youtube.com slash commercial break. Go watch Rachel Feinstein's brand new special out on Netflix. Thank you
Starting point is 00:57:40 for being a guest this week Rachel. Okay, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Take your penicillin with food. Until next time, we always say, we do say,
Starting point is 00:57:52 and we must say, goodbye. Oh Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, a,

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