The Commercial Break - Jim Bakker's Diesel Therapy

Episode Date: March 31, 2023

Jim Bakker really doesn't know how to apologize to poor Tammy Sue. Bryan & Krissy wonder if that is because of who he is or the anal diesel therapy they gave him in all seven prisons he was in... Cocaine! What movie scarred you for life? Bryan has been scarred by the preview for a new show It features Rory Caulkin’s massive penis Nothing like a dick smushed against a bowl of strawberries Let’s talk fucked up families Jim Bakker, the scammer of all scammers Tammy Faye → Tammy Sue Sorry for messing up your life, here’s a condo! Tammy Sue is a girl that thinks ahead! Shockingly, Jim still isn’t taking responsibility for his actions All he wanted was to hide her away in the attic You want royalties from something you did? Too damn bad! He takes pictures of his family to ALL the prisons he goes to! This is the worst apology in the history of apologies Nothing worse than an old white lady talking in your face Jim’s mustering those tears! 'When I touch you, I feel Jim' Preach it, Bryan! Someone scalped Tammy Sue! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After the break we're going to interview Eric, why had mayor who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But you get, excuse me, you blind. On this episode of the commercial break, there's Papa on the floor dehydrating with a hose up his ass. In a bag of diesel fuel, papa, you drink weird. Papa smells like a train.

Papa smells like a gas station. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Commercial break starts now Ah yeah, Jessica welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my beautiful and Raveter intelligent co-host Kristen Joy, totally best to you, Chrissy Bestie, Brian! Bestie, well there on the podcast universe. Some would say my better angel Oh, some would say the guard rails on this podcast I call you the third rail on the podcast. I know if I, if I, if I,

I'm like the bumper, yes, the bumpers, I call you the third rail. Like if I know if I touch something too hot, you're gonna give me a look and then I'm gonna back off or just throw the episode in the trash. One of the two. The server is filled with episodes in the gray yard. Oh man, have we done it before?

Okay, get it right around here. Anybody knows how to put together a studio? Feel free to call 855-TCB-8383. We'll take all the help we can get. You know McCulley-Colken? Yes. You know that, of course. The guy who's in that movie, I fucking hate.

Home Alone. Home Alone. God, I hate. Everybody loves that Christmas movie. It's like, everybody gets here for Christmas, the whole family gets here for Christmas, and everyone gets so damn excited about watching a home alone. Yeah. I like the Christmas story, national ampunes,

a number of them. The night before is my favorite. The night before Christmas? It was just the night before. That's what Seth Rogen. Oh, that's a good one too, whether I'll get all high. Yeah. That's a good one. That's a funny one.

I wouldn't call it a Christmas classic, but it is good. It is in my house. Yeah, it is in your house. I like, uh, what is it? Ron John and Kumar. Uh, yeah, you know, if Kumar and the white castle, the white castle guys, they do Christmas too. They do. Yeah, with Neil Patrick Harris and it is a fucking riot. It is just them doing cocaine the entire time. For those of you keeping score at home, Brian said cocaine again on another episode. I just have to find a way to fit it in

to make that one guy really happy. All they talk about is their sex lives in cocaine. It's not true. Sometimes we talk about cocaine, denar sex life, just throwing them out there. So McCulley Culkin apparently has a brother who's found in some stuff. Rory Culkin, is that it? I think, yeah, he's in one of my favorites. So is Swarm? No, no, but I want to watch that.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Don't name us on prime. Yeah. No, I believe he's in succession. He's in succession in the brother. Let me give you, let me show you that guy. Yeah. That's not the guy isn't. I think it's McCulley Cokins younger like this is his younger younger brother. I think you're thinking about the middle one. Okay. Who has also been and he also was a child star and he did a couple.

Yes. Didn't he do that one where the like the brother was he pushed his brother down the well and killed him and that's a weird. I didn't want to. I'm not. You got siblings. That's a great movie to watch. There's no one. You got siblings.

That's a great movie to watch. There was a movie called Brian's Song when I was a kid. Do you have a movie or a television show when you were a kid that just ultimately left a scar directly on your brain and you can never forget that particular scene in a movie? Oh, yeah, Pet Cemetery. Pet Cemetery. Uh-huh. Okay. This is Brian's song by, in the 80s.

I think I remember this movie, but I don't know. I know, I think you might. You know, I've talked to other people about this and they're like, I think I remember that. Here's the movie. It's Brian and his dad and then his brother and his mom and Brian's having a hard time in life. Brian's like a little bit older.

He's like 14 or 15 years old, 12 or whatever it is. He's older than his brother, who is, let's call it 12 years old. The little brother can do no wrong. The older brother is just a fuck up, right? Played by a kid that you saw in some 80s move television shows as a fuck up. The father is like the stereotypical 80s character actor.

You would know this if I showed it to you, but so anyway, you get the point. Yes. Good brother, bad brother. Everyone's upset because bad brother can't seem to do things right and he's fucking up everywhere. And you don't really know if bad brother is a bad guy or if he's just having a, he's down on his luck.

He's down on his luck. Yeah, he's having a streak. It's a season of life. It's been lasting for his entire life. So they go to the lake house. They're all hanging out, the mom and dad go away for dinner, there's a lake upon next to the house. Ooh, the old scary lake. The old scary lake, the old scary pond.

But in scenes in the beginning of the movie, that lake was a place of joy. They were like learning how to swim in there and the little brother, the bigger brother could swim all the way out from the middle of the lake all the way home, right? But the little brother couldn't do that at the beginning of the movie. Now, in the middle of the movie, when the parents are away, Brian and his brother get in this little canoe and they paddle out to the middle of the lake. And then the big brother keeps on egging his little brother on. You can't make it there. You can't swim like that. Only I can do that, right? Baba, baba, baba, baba.

And the little brother is like, stop it, Brian. You're always bothering me. I can do stuff just like you can. You know, like, I'm just as good as you are. And he's like, yeah, you're good at everything. Because Mama Dad loves you more. And you're good at everything. And I'm just a fuck up.

And then the little kid is like, yeah, you are. And you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna prove it to you. I'm gonna swim to the other side of the lake. And he gets in the water. And then he little kid is like, yeah, you are. And you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna prove it to you. I'm gonna swim to the other side of the lake. And he gets in the water and then he tells his brother, you swim, you got a paddle right next to me, paddle right next to me with a life jacket just in case. I'm like, yeah, no worries, I got you covered, no worries.

The kid starts swimming. I see where this is going. You see where this is going? And then the Loch Ness monster comes and eats both of them. I was gonna say, you know, Jason Voorhees pops up out of the light. Yes, Jason Voorhees pops up. You know what happens? That lady with the ass cloth comes and says,

Hey, have you heard about ass cloths? So you see where this is going. The kid triumphs. And mom and dad get home. He's in trouble now. Oh, it's a, oh man. Did he try and hide the body? No, he didn't try and dad get home. He's in trouble now. Oh, it's a, oh man. I've done it now. Did he try and hide the body? No, he didn't try and hide the body.

What he tried to do was he tried after some period of time of watching his brother drown. He then was like, oh shit, I really got to do something here. And so he threw the life jacket in that he got in the water and he tried to save his brother. But his brother wasn't there. His brother was already dead. I will always be scarred by this, because my name is Brian.

And so I always felt like, I hope I don't kill any of my brothers. You know what I'm saying? You probably felt like that. And I was the general fuck up in our house. So I was kinda like, this fits the mold a little bit, but I will never forget Brian's song,

or Brian's story, or whatever it is, for that reason, that moment right there. There's another show that I will never forget, that I haven't even watched for a reason, and that is this show Swarm. Okay, yeah, just getting. I was getting impressed. Reve, yeah.

Reve reviews. Great cast, psychological thriller, everybody loves it. I can't wait to watch it. Yeah, because Rory Culkin, who is absolutely shred in this movie, he's huge. Like he's stark in one of the scenes, which I just saw because someone posted it online.

In one of the scenes, he's just like woken up from having sex with a girl, whatever. He's eating a bowl of strawberries, and his dick is next to the bowl of strawberries squished up against the glass, and you can see his penis. And let me tell you something. I don't know what's going on with those Culkin brothers,

but they got a streak of luck that I'll never, I'll never understand. You got one guy in succession, the other guy in a home alone, and then you got this other guy with a big dick. What the fuck is going on with the Culkin brothers? Well, the prosthesis is used a lot now. I think this is the real penis.

I think this is the real penis. That's what people are saying online. Best of him indeed. Rory, if you- Well, he's not gonna dispute it. No, of course not. When you and I have our own television show, and we eventually have the dick shot,

because it seems like half the commercial break is penises, talk about penises, we have that dick shot. I'm gonna claim that merkin for my own. That's right. That's my beautiful, that's my beautiful cock fro. That's so cool. I like that. I like our fro, what's that? own. That's right. That's my beautiful, that's my beautiful cock fro. That's so cool. That's so cool. I like our fro.

What's that? And all it's glory. And all it's glory. This guy had a massive shlong. I mean, just a really nice massive shlong. And now I'm burned in the back of my brain. And forever when people come over for Christmas, they're asked to come to you to watch Home Alone.

All of them to think about is a dick and a bowl of strawberries. That's all. That's it. There wasn't even the same. It's just because it's a brother. Yes. Okay. Well, they all look alike. They all look exactly the same. That's the problem. They're in different stages of aging, but in McCulley Cokin does not look like the little cute kid. He was anymore, right? He looks a little bit stranger. He's decided to go his do his own thing. Isn't he like a band or something? It's like a club kid. I don't keep up with him, but he was in something that was funny a little while back. Yeah, he was.

I was surprised. I remember. I remember. Didn't McCully do the movie Angel, where it was like a club kid club angel, something like that, where he played club angel something like that. Where he played club angel. Didn't he dance with a local strip club called club angel? Am I right about that? Was he also showing his massive shlong in club angel? Didn't he do that movie about the club kids

that killed each other? Like the one guy who killed? Do you remember this? I didn't watch it. It was a really great movie. I remember this. And I think McCullough was in it. But those fucking McCullough kids that killed each other.

They didn't kill each other, one killed one. And then he, I think he also committed suicide. But it was like a sad story. They were running around New York and one of the guys got a little too upset and he killed them and put them in the bathtub and dismembered them. And McCullochon was all responsible.

McCullochon's brother's cock was responsible for everything. It was the bowl of strawberries, dick scene that drove everyone to murder suicide. Yes, now I'm going to be forever scarred by this because I can't, now I just can't help connecting the dots between Rory and Nicole. I need you to watch it and just get over your fears. Who are, yeah, that's true. Maybe I just need to, maybe I just need to get, hold Rory's cock in my hands and get over it.

Yeah. Who are some famous brothers that have out, the Baldwin brothers? I was gonna say Baldwin. Baldwin, that's the most notable notable the McCullochins. Are there any other famous brothers or sisters? Or like one is outshining the other? There's got it. There's there are.

There's tons. But I can't the arcettes. The arcettes. Yeah. Patricia and Rosanna. Yeah. Patricia and Rosanna. And then that other guy who's now like a professional wrestler. Who's that David Arquette? David Arquette. Oh, he's married to Courtney Cox. He was. I don't think they're married, who's a David R.C. David R.C.

Oh, he's married to Courtney Cox. He was, I don't think they're married anymore. You don't think so, I think they are. Did they divorce? Oh, that's really sad for him. I know. That's what you sad for him. Right.

All that friend's money. Bye-bye. Do you think she has to pay all the money in that case? Probably. Maybe. Cause they were married like through that whole time. They were married forever. So anyway, dick, bull, you know, he got this

would have made me think of when I think because I was doing research for today's topic and I just thought of like siblings and families in the weird ways in which they work. And you know, where are McCulley Colkins parents? Have we ever met McCulley, McCulley, McCullkey, whatever's name is McCulley McCulley, McCullkey, but whatever's name is? McCulley. McCulley Colkins parents. I mean, I think I remember.

Are they stage parents? Well, I think years ago he sued them? Yeah, it was where you become independent, whatever. Oh yeah, he became independent at like 16 years old. There are, you know, when you have a family that's kind of twisted up, right? And you make something of yourself. I really do give you props.

And we all have families in one way shape or form. Oh yeah. You know what parents are? They're future invoices for therapists. That's what families are. Every family member that's a fuck up is a future invoice for a therapist. But it's understandable because we grow up in these tight knits. And then if you don't have a parent around, or if you don't have, you know, in some cases

two parents around, or if there's just like general drama in the family, it can really set a family off in the wrong direction. Oh, yeah, of course. And so what better way to start off today's episode than to talk about fucked up family? And to show the strawberry bowl. To show the strawberry bowl. Here's the dick. Uh, you know, we, we kill preachers on this show all the time. Say kill, we don't really kill them. We have fun with them because a lot of them are fucking more. So much good material there.

Who are just taking your money and promising you things that will never happen. I just read that that Joel Osteen he makes fifty four million dollars a year. He owns two private jets two private jets worth hundreds of millions of dollars. He owns a seventy thousand square foot house. He has twenty custom made cars. The most expensive one worth five hundred and seventy five thousand dollars. It's a mazorati. That's crazy.

I mean, it's one thing to like take a nice salary. Yes. It's a mazerotti. That's crazy. I mean, it's one thing to take a nice salary. But all of that money could absolutely go towards helping homelessness, child hunger. He could have opened the doors during that hurricane. Remember, he closed the doors to the church and wouldn't let people in there when they had the flooding in Houston. He's a real fucking asshole, as far as I'm concerned, because you don't need $54 million. No one needs $54 million a year. It's just not it's an astronomical amount of money being collected on the backs of the people who are working really hard

and certainly not making $54 million. It just drives me fucking crazy. The message gets lost because the method is madness and that's how I feel about it. Prosperity preaching, I get it. You're trying to tell people that, you know, what you think is what you are, and you gotta think positive, and you gotta stay focused, and you gotta believe in yourself. But to the tune of $54 million, like,

yeah, that seems a skew. They're selling holy water for a dollar, and they're selling 54 million of them a year. It's fucking insane. He's on Oprah, while everybody else in his congregation, for a dollar and they're selling 54 million of them a year. It's fucking insane. He's on Oprah, while everybody else in his congregation is hoping to get a $3,000 tax rebate on their chart. He's gonna take half of it.

It's insane. But no preacher in the history of preachers has been quite the fuck up that our next guest is. Oh really? Not a next guest like he's gonna show up in the studio. Then Jim Baker. Our next victim. Jim Baker is like the, I don't know.

He's like the Michael Jordan of fuck up preachers. You know what I'm saying? This guy is an absolute miserable mess. For those of you that don't know Jim Baker, for two young to remember, just forgot about the story. Jim Baker started, he started off as like a door to door preacher going around to tent revivals. He met his wife, very young. Her name was Tammy Faye Baker. Tammy Faye Baker in Jim then got hooked up with the TBN network. I think is what it was. The Christian

or the total bullshit news network. I don't know. Whatever. So he got hooked up. The movie is good. Oh, the movie is good. The movie is really good. Yeah. So watch it. You should watch it if you want the whole thing. But basically, they become super famous. They become the stars in this orbit of this particular Christian news network as cable and as cable and satellite are exploding. So they ride this wave and they decide they're going to build like a dollywood, a Disney

world for Christians, and how they're going to pay for this, finance some of this is through the sales of time shares. So he goes out and he sells about 3,000 time shares. There's only one small issue. They only plan to have 300 time shares available to sell. So he has sold 10 times the amount of time shares then there are actual buildings. And he took that money and he dumped it back into the project or

other things. He eventually got convicted. He went to jail for a long time. I think it was like seven years. Tammy Faye, I think did a year in jail or something like that. I want to say this because because I think it's an important side note, even though you're not looking for the commercial break to tell you anything serious, I'm just gonna make a serious side note. I actually think Tammy Fake did some real good in her life because she was one of the first people, first Christians, and maybe one of the first people on national televised, nationally televised program,

to actually bring a gay man on to talk about HIV when HIV and AIDS was completely unknown. It was the gay disease. A lot of people didn't want to even go around gay men because they thought they could get this disease when even though it was proven it wasn't true. It was a real tough time for the LGBT community. And she brought a gay man on with AIDS onto her Christian network for which she got skewered and she stood by it the entire time. And for that purpose and that purpose only, for that one reason, that one thing that she did that I know of,

I think she deserves a little bit of tiny bit of credit. I agree. Yeah, now Jim's an asshole. And now he's selling mashed potatoes by the tub to help you get through what is certainly coming, the doomsday, Jesus is coming. And mashed potatoes help a lot. He good mashed potatoes.

My favorite is enchilada in a box. It's, my favorite is enchilada in a box. They sell, That's what he's selling. 15 gallon enchilada, like they're, they're like Ancholotas. Ancholotta mix, that's weird. Its shelf life is like 200 years.

Yeah, I got it. Now I've had some pretty bad Mexican food in my life, but I don't think the shelf life on any of that was 200 years. You know what I'm saying? It's absolutely disgusting. This guy is selling colloidal silver during the middle of the COVID pandemic.

Colloidal silver is literally silver suspended in water I don't know about you, but I'm not drinking any heavy metals anytime soon at least not on purpose I do live near the chat I get you rivers are probably ingesting the same thing, but you know what I'm saying yes This guy is a total shithead. He's continuing to just railroad people and take their money He old habits die hard and Jim's added again. He's got this television show. That's all he knows how to do. My favorite part about the television show,

that's all he knows how to do, that's right. And he's got a following and people are paying him good. He seems to be living high in the hog as far as I'm concerned from what I can see. He's got this daily show. He's not a fan of that. He's not a fan of that. And you know what, you know what, here's the truth.

It's probably is in times and the guy, people with a 200-year shelf life, Ancelot, are gonna survive as all. Those little cockroaches are gonna be around long after we're gone. I'm gonna be like, I'm starving, I don't have anything. My neighbor across the street, you know, it's Nitzelfred's over there. He's gonna be like, do you want some Ancelotus? Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I do, I take back every word.

My favorite part about the Jim Baker New Television show is that Jim Baker seems to be doing this out of an empty mall with condos. You have to see it, it's like they're in a, I saw that. They're in like a food court of a mall. It's kind of like New Orleans style. Yeah, like a Disney world.

Like Fassad. Yeah. The balconies. Yeah. Back. Yeah. Imagine you're walking through Disney World or Disneyland, one of those hotel resorts where it's like all themed and everything, but it's inside an old mall, right?

And on the top, on the bottom floor is retail and Jim Baker's stage for some reason why he's doing this and I'm all but on the top floor probably a cheap rent yeah is condos condos you can sell condos he has sold to people because there's nothing like taking a vacation and waking up to the jim takershow the middle of a fucking Missouri who would want to be there some people's Disney I's Disney, I guess. I guess. He seems to have a crowd there every time. So Jim, obviously, he had a very young daughter when he went to jail. And that had to have been tough on her. I don't want to take, I don't want to negate her personal experience.

There's no other way than I would rather make an apology to one of my kids for an eternal life fuck up than to do it live on my television show in the morning. Let me tell the story about how I fucked over my daughter and how I am going to make it better to her. And let's see if you agree on the methodology. And the sincerity. You ready?

G-Z-B. Hey everybody out there in the podcast universe, it's time for the dreaded commercial break inside the commercial break. It's season number four, you've heard it all before, so let's get to it quickly. You can text us or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-TCB-8383. Questions, comments, concerns or content ideas, send them to 855-TCB-8383 toll free from anywhere in the world. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com to listen to any of the audio, watch any of the video, or send us a message, hit the contact us button.

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Let's listen to Jim Baker, bring his only daughter up, and apologize to her for basically railroading her life. Welcome to the special edition of the Jim Baker Show! Welcome to the special edition of the Jim Baker Show. Welcome to the special edition of the Jim Baker Show. Does that sound like a voice of a puppet, like a puppet? Yeah, it sounds like Jim Carey in that. Yeah. I did it.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. Jim Carey too. Does it sound like this guy's a caret, couldn't they pay somebody, somebody, get reach it a sound like this? Like this guy's a character. Couldn't they pay somebody? Somebody?

Get Rachel on the grass on this. Yes. Yeah, she does Christian text up. You love to do it. Tell me to you from the village of the side snuggled in the beautiful, low-sark mountains. Today it's a baker,

family reunion with Jin's daughter. Tammy Sue Baker. Tammy Sue. Tammy Sue. Oh, Lord Jim. Yeah. These, these, these, these religious base names, they're out of control. I saw, there was a guy that emailed us the other day

his name was Jebediah. And I just, thank you Jebediah for writing in, but I thought to myself, what a shitty name to be straddled with your entire life. I mean, you, I hope they just call him Jed. Yeah, you got it. Because Jed's cool. Yeah, Jed. Yeah.

Here at your host, Jim and Laurie Baker. Welcome to Gray Street. Wow, what a very special day. Tammy Sue is here at Morningside. Don't miss a minute of this show, Colin friends. This is the greatest moment of my life Hey, Chrissy, it's Brian. I know it's 417 in the morning, but I just want to let you know that Jim Baker's having a family reunion You got to turn this you know. Yes, straight from morningside. You know that mall that's made to look like a new that made to look like for the French quarter

Where there's no stores or people living up there? They're not canceled in the Ozarks. Right in the Ozarks, Chrissy. Where else would you rather vacation? Been Morningside, that's the little the Ozarks. Okay, you just thought I'd let you know see it in 17 hours to record the show. Thank you. You're welcome. I just want to get you. You're welcome. I just face forget you. Oh, look at that long, beautiful hair she still has everybody. Look at that. You know what? There's a, oh my God.

So it's really long hair. The lady that you're hearing, yeah, that is really long hair. It really gives them special powers. The lady who you're hearing is the guest is a co-host of this Jim Baker show that we have heard before on other episodes. And she is fucking obnoxious in a way that I can't describe.

She is always in the middle and look how much Tammy Sue is, I don't know, Tammy Sue. Sue Tammy, whatever her name is. Look how much she disdain, how much disdain she has with the hook. I know, she's like, leave my hair alone, bitch. Number one, number two, are they romantically connected?

I don't know, that seems like it right? You're not my stepmom. I'm not calling you mom. I want you to look at some sweetheart. There's a condo, see the blue condo. That condo, the people that own it are they have to cut back because they've gotten where they can't travel all the time. They're the most wonderful people in the world.

They have to cut back because I screwed them over in the first place. They have to cut back because they decided the condo above Grey Street on Morningside's empty mall was not a great investment in the first place. They would rather default on the mortgage than come back to Grey Street. I'll buy that condo for you.

Yes! He's gonna buy that condo. So, when you come... No, I'll tell you something. Tammy Sue is like, Dad, this is how you got in trouble last time. This is how you fucked up my life last time. Can we not be selling condos to multiple people? When she was 16, she recorded a fabulous 33 and a third. What do you call those things? LP an album 33 and 33 and a third. Which record player takes 33 and a third? The Mickey Mouse record player? Yeah, me too. Is that the kind of with the special insert in the middle? Yeah.

Her album was called 16. 16. She recorded that when she was 16. Yeah. Okay. She's only 17. Damn it. Sue.

Yeah. She had to record it out on the better parents, Renjail. the in the the the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the to rock it up the charts. 16 years old. Do you remember how much that record made for the ministry? I think it was a million six. I think it was a million six seven four point three three. I can't remember. Yeah, I can't remember. You stole it. So it doesn't matter, dad. Six. Yeah. Yeah. Sixteen. Sixteen. Oh, it was a million six. For the ministry. That would be worth now. Can you shut up back there? You shut up for one second.

Go to youtube.com slash a commercial break. You got to see this. Oh, does that drive you crazy? Is that what I do to you all the time? Ha ha ha ha. No, okay. And I promised her at Heritage USA that she would have, this is it.

Come on back. This is in our hallway every single day we pass by you and we we have our homage to you. Oh, she gorgeous thing. Oh, she is gorgeous. Oh, she is gorgeous. Oh, man. That is a woman after my own heart.

She looks like the Debbie Lee from the front of the cake boxes. You know what I'm talking about like the Debbie Lee from the front of the cake boxes. You know what I'm talking about? The Debbie Lee cake. Oh yeah. All right, what's she using? I'm ready. I'm ready.

Little Debbie. I can't. She's your... You weren't too 15 when you started it. I was 15. She was 15 years old when she started producing, when she produced actually, in preparation for being 16 years old.

Yeah, in preparation for being 16. This is a well thought out concept album It's kind of like pink Floyd the wall. It's kind of like when pink Floyd watched wizard of the Oz over and over again to get Dark side of the moon just right. Yeah, Tammy was preparing for her 16 release when she was 15 This is a girl who's prolettes things ahead. We need some of this kind of help at the commercial break. You know what I'm saying? And we were building, Mulberry Village high, high-rise towers at that time. We were building, we were geared to build one a month.

That's how fast morning I was growing when people decided they wanted me to come down. And you people decided they wanted you to come down. You oversold the condos by 10 X. You know, there was nothing, people were coming home to nothing. You thoughtsold the condos by 10x. You know, it's nothing. People were coming home to nothing. You thought that you could just like swap out the time shares until people didn't figure it out.

And by the way, it does not take one month to build a condo tower. That's impossible. What do you mean? Why is he bringing that back up too? Because he wants to hurt her feelings and remind her of what a sh- Father you want.

And then- Remember what I went to jail for? Yeah, remember when other people decided I needed to go to jail? Yeah. Dude, come on man, you're still not taking responsibility for your actions. Nope. Did you get railroaded? Yes you did.

But when you play with thieves, you're bound to get robbed. It was my sand to do it. And the top floor had this big attic part that they weren't going to use, and I figured out I want to use that empty space, and that's going to be Tammy's suits. Condor. The attic? I want to put her in the attic.

Because let's be honest, it's not the best. No one wanted it. Yeah, she's not the best looking baker we've ever seen. So I figured by hiding her away. There's tonsil no one wanted it. No one wanted it. And I thought, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I'm going to put TVC over there. My ugliest daughter shall have that attic with no windows. Meanwhile, how happy must the people have been who bought the penthouse on the top floor that Tammy Sue and her new studio are going to be upstairs in the attic. And she was, we never got royalties. None of it. No, but Tammy Faye, Jim Baker, we'd never got royalties. People, most preachers make their money from their books and their records. We've never, I gave away millions and millions

and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars of royalties. I'm not bragging. But, no, that's not something I would brag about that you made the stupidest business decision in the history of the earth, by not taking royalties to your daughter's own album when she's 15 years old. Sounds like your dad was making solid business decisions

on your behalf. I decided that Sue, since she didn't get paid, should have a small royalty off her record back then. Hey man, praise Jesus. Praise Jesus. Screw us a little bit of this. Screw us to the tune of 1699 for a tamisu 33 and a third. I don't even understand what he's saying. Like, he gave away millions and millions and millions from the royalties that she was pulling in with this album.

No, he gave her a little portion of the royalties. No, he's saying that he didn't take royalties from his book deals and his record publishing, but he did decide that she needed to take royalties. Everyone did a piece of that. He knew, he's like, I'm probably gonna be in jail pretty soon, so I'll just give her a little bit of extra.

And I promised it to her, and we were in the process of doing it. And I put her royalty money in the bank and nobody knows this. I'm just going to I'm a confess right in front of you. Jim, as your attorney, I'm going to advise you to shut the fuck up or FSTU as the kids would say. FTFU. FFU, I'm not particularly sure. When the world fell apart, we had to live off royalty money. What kind of confession is that?

That's not a confession. That's what a parent would do. I mean, honestly, this part, I'm kind of like, well, she was 15 years old. Like, you know, she made a bunch of money. It's a family's money, honestly. But, you know, because... She should have gone to MacMiley's children. Yeah, that's right.

And she's gotten independent. Right? I was separated from that father a long time ago. She should have gone them away. My children. Yeah, that's right. And gotten independent. Right. I was separated from that father a long time ago. Meanwhile, you can still hear this lady babbling in the background. She's whispering to herself. And what she said directly before he confessed is she's like, you don't have to say this. That's what she said. Did you hear that?

She goes, you don't have to say this. You don't have to hear that. I feel the promise that she would have a place. She has, she does not own a home. Thanks, Dad. Never own a home. She doesn't have a car. She never had a car. She's never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend for that matter. He just had to put her dog down two days ago. The dog was only three months old. Oh my God. Her clothes were from Kmart.

After Kmart closed, we went into Kmart and we bought a steep disk. And she hasn't been able to afford a haircut in a very long time, which is why her hair is down to her knees. Her hair is down to her knees. Yeah, that freaks me out, that'll look. Yeah. The hair down to the knees. Crystal Gale can pull me out. That'll look the hair down to the knees.

Crystal Gale can pull it off, but that's about it. Who's Crystal Gale? What? There's another family of people, Loretta Lynn's younger sister, she was a singer. That's a look around. Country. Don't even know her. She's good. That's a look around. Country. Don't even know. She's good. I just think so I don't know how I'm going to do it. But I don't have no idea how I'm going to financially pay for that blue condo up there.

Can everyone please ship in a little way? Yeah, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. The hat comes around. Mash potato boxes for everybody. Colloidal silver for everyone. Half off. And I know you don't want it. You've never asked me for anything.

And you kept my ministry alive when I was in prison. She ran it. When everybody walked away. Why are there people around? Yes, she did. What do they do? I don't know. Yeah, why is there so many people on stage?

It must be all his family or something. It must be all the like the extended family. Okay. And honestly, this feels like an empty vessel to me because if you're going to make this kind of like if this gift of like whatever it is, reparations for the damage that you call the condo and the stupid blue condo that she doesn't want. Yeah. That's all she probably wants is to be closer to her dad every single morning

when she fucking wakes up. Girls never owned a home in her life and now she's gonna be in the morning side mall for the rest of her life. First of all, second of all, wouldn't it have been better, Jim? Wouldn't it have been better to have this conversation when the cameras were off? Yeah, this is crazy.

And the ministry why was in prison. And she came to that prison to see me whenever she could. Uh-huh, yes, he needs. And she brought baby James. Baby James. Go get the drawing off the wall. Go get that drawing, somebody. Go get that drawing.

Go get that drawing off the wall. Go into his office. It's right next to the empty cinnamon. It's right next to the empty cinnamon. It's right next to the closed colds. The night before I went to prison, we stayed in a hotel room together. And James, was this big? How old was James? I think it was nine months old and you stayed up. You remember James?

He stayed up. All I have to say, you stayed up all night with him. You told me which was great. He said, you sleep. He said, you sleep. And when the baby gets up for anything, I'm going to take care of it. You sleep my 15 year old daughter? Yeah, you sleep.

I mean, yeah. She's 16. She's got a nine month old baby. And grandpa of the years going to jail for seven years in a motel room. He says, don't worry. I got this one night That I'm not gonna sleep anyway because I'm going to jail tomorrow And he took care of the baby all night long the night before he went to prison That was the last thing I did and then I had one picture with you and baby Jay and I took that picture to all the prisons with me. All the prisons with me, oh God.

Oh, this is so morbid. That is like the nightmare of nightmares, is that you gotta take pictures of your family through the prison system with you. I'm going to prison, I'm just jumping right off a bridge. I'm like later. See you later. Sorry kids. We're better off this way. You can have the blue condo. I'm so emotional about this kid and he still keeping me alive. When he walked off the plane, when he got here, that was, it was like, it was almost, it's kind of egotistical, but it looked like

I was walking off the plane when I was 16. I mean, that's how I felt. But I'd hold that picture of you and James, and I'd hold it up when I was in the insane assigned prison, they threw me in, and I'd hold that, and not, I remember, I told me in. I remember. And I'd hold that and not. I remember. I told him to put you there. I think they got the wrong person in the assana silence.

Who is this lady? Who is that? Is that the new Tammy Faye? Because she's a lot more chatty than Tammy Faye was. Yeah. First of all, second of all, baby James doesn't want you telling the story that all his friends are going to hear about, about grandpa, you know, holding the picture two feet from his face, and the insane, and the insane

of some. So I couldn't see. By the way, James, I think they're not calling them insane as I was anymore. Anything else. And so then when I went to prison, one of the inmates with pencil through this moment when she brought James to see me. That's from a pencil drawing. I looked up at younger and I had hair back there. Still, I had hair when I went to prison. I'm a nuts and on my head. By the way, he's telling so much in detail, like, no one fucking,

no one cares. Someone, they, someone, one of the inmates drew this in pencil directly before he got shanked on the third level in cell block D. Not sure what ever happened to him. In one time, when they put me in diesel therapy, which only prisoners know what that is. What is diesel therapy? I don't know. They stick diesel gas in you or something. That's what I was thinking. They just fill the room with diesel fumes.

Hope that you change. He's forced you to get high. They pour diesel gasoline on you. Make you run around the cell. Run the set of them fire. Yeah, that's right. There's a little mouse with a matchbox on the back. And his tie do is back.

And he just runs and chases you. Ain't me. And move me for. I went to the worst prison in America. The hell prison. Wow, well, you made this all about your daughter, didn't you? Right, you suffolitude. This is why families are so fucked up.

Because this is the worst apology in the history of a... Am I right about this? This is the worst apology in the history of apologies. Because you've done nothing. I haven't even heard him say he's sorry. He didn't say he's sorry. He's explaining a way of behavior. He's blaming everybody else.

He's telling you how bad it was. But she's supposed to be the focus of this particular family reunion. Fuck you, James. Jim. Isn't what, James? Oh, oh, oh. Well, there's baby James.

I almost died. There is baby James. And other baby Jim. Yeah. Because I didn't eat Because they told me that dining rooms were the most dangerous place a tiny room That's funny I didn't know hey, it's the Jim Baker comedy hour

This is just funny is an episode of the commercial Frank I'm getting more laughs out of this than I do on of our own show. I just didn't go. And I was dehydrated and Noah and they angrily replenished my water tank. With diesel. With diesel. Which is why I'm not so sharp anymore. Meanwhile, Tammy Sue looks completely pissed off because Tammy Sue came all this way to get an apology.

And you know what she's hearing? She's hearing him blame everybody else but himself for his bullshit. You went to prison. Prison is not pretty. It's not supposed to be nice. Yeah. Talked me to the doctor and found out that I would have died shortly. I have not told the story much. Because it's untrue. Because I just manufactured it yesterday. Baby James was with me in that prison. He was with me in all seven prisons I was in.

Seven! And now baby James, sweet baby James, you know the song That song that's why That woman is so annoying look how she's holding Tammy Sue and Tammy's right there I know she's like talking in her face There's nothing worse Then an old white lady wants to talk right in your face. Yeah How's your daughter doing than an old white lady who wants to talk right in your face. Yeah. Stop that.

How's your daughter doing? Hey, stop that. How's everything going, Chrissy? How are you doing? Oh, baby, Joby J. It's good to have a whole... This is what he was known for. Fake crying on live television. And here he goes again. He's trying to muster it.

I don't see any tears coming out. I think his tear ducts are all dried up from the diesel therapy, but diesel therapy. I know, we're going to look that up. It's time to see all the whole. I have here I'll hold that for you you cry you cry I'll carry the weight. I had was James so and then he came to prison and I don't know was this visit I don't know how he is in this picture Damn, how do you think you're Two, one, two

When he's beginning to talk he Sue always kept my picture on the refrigerator so they knew me my grandbabies knew me Do you remember he walked up to the picture in the picture in like a map of the US and it like his little head. His little head on seven different places. Where's grandpa's going toN watch the most reruns of your grandpa lying to people asshole he said you remember what he said

yeah he said pop on yeah he said yeah i said pop on you have a really big house he didn't tell him i was in prison she just said so he goes on he says papa has a big house Tons of bars and a lot of people would guns

And there's papa on the floor dehydrated with a hose up his ass In a bag of diesel fuel papa you drink weird Papa smells like a train. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha It is called the big house right? It's called the big house. That's right. There's nothing small about it except for the place where you happen to be You come on. Yes a lot of guests there too Yeah, and so Yeah, James let's not try and be funny yet. Okay. Yeah, so that so now you don't need to be as it was actually As your stepmom. I know One of the inmates

Made this drawing. And one day, I remember I was really in bad shape and you bring baby Jonathan. And I didn't know you were coming then either. Oh, Nana, I don't know what to do. Help me. Maybe my daughter's Nana is the producer. Kevin, would you sing with her? You can do that.

Yeah. You want to do the blind? What? What? So this is the worst apology in the world, and now we want everybody to sing. This is what I wanted to showcase here. The absolute hypocrisy of this fuckt wad.

He's selling stuff he knows that doesn't work. He's selling you crap you're never going to need. He's got a television station that beams right into your home that you think prayer is gonna save him. He can't, he does not, he brought an expert on to talk about AI, and the guy didn't even know what Google was. He kept on calling it the Google.

Everybody knows how to do the Google. So he's bringing absolutely zero value to anybody and the one person that he really needs to speak to clearly and directly, which is his daughter who has been so incredibly harmed by his actions and guess what? He can't even say I'm sorry. He can't even say I'm sorry.

And now he wants to start singing with her. Hold on, just one more minute. And then we're almost up here and I love tell me soon but you know I love it because when I touch where I feel Jim it's the weirdest thing every time I always said that I mean right I mean should come up and should just rub my and rub me and touch me like and it's this time. I've been having an affair and that blue condo is so we can get it on. Where's sister, sisters? Do you know what a sister sister is? Oh, yes, Lord. This is weird. When I touch you, I feel Jim. Yeah. Do people not understand how they're coming across? They have no self-awareness

whatsoever. I think Jim should watch his own show for a few minutes. The most it's the craziest thing and I just couldn't wait to fill your touch again. I love you so much. Oh, creepy. So creepy. We worked with somebody like this at that office building. Remember that lady up in the financial office? Yes. Grab my balls one time. Yep. What you working with, Greene? 80 up in the financial office. Grab my balls one time. Yep. What you working with, Greene. Yeah.

So so amazing that you would do this for your dad. Oh, can you imagine the cut? This is look at. There's your baby. That's a miracle. This child right here grew up. That's a miracle. That's a miracle. She grew up.'s a miracle of vision she grew up I all those little pictures

right Mondo that we've seen so many little Tammy Sue running around the sad thing who was literally in the studio the first days of her life she grew up the baby stages in a bassinet Donna was there that time and then Donna knows bring Donna let's tell more of this boring story Donna can you feel us in on more boredom? Who fucking cares? Jim is lost his ever loving mind You can't stick to a story not on point fake crocodile tears hadn't said I'm sorry gave her the blue condo no one asked for

The blue condo is so bad the people who owned it gave it back to you By the way, we would take the blue condo send it to 855 DCVA 383 Friends were all the Directors and all. Oh, yeah. I think I got a lot of new friends in her. They should do. Oh, I'm sure there was a lot of directors running around after Tammy Sue. Yeah. And I mean, what a shitty thing too. What a shitty shitty thing. After all of this and everything,

like the poor woman never even owned a house. Yes, she's never even owned a house. Probably because for life, they are considered a financial risk. And so, listen, people make mistakes and they make big mistakes. And all of us have made some level of mistake that has completely fucked up our derailed our life, fucked up our life, whatever it is. It's going to happen to the best of us. When that happens, you have to be contrite and humble and have self-awareness

of which Jim has zero. He's still hocking the same tune, same song, same guy, same dance, same people, given him money, same fucking people. Prater bride? Yeah, amen. Let me tell you something. You're just as guilty as he is for Tammy sues dismay because you keep on giving this money, you keep on giving this guy rope to hang himself. It's fucking unbelievable. Stop watching this moron on TV. This guy needs to go work at McDonald's for a couple of years. Figure out what real life is. Where it work is all about. And then she got about this, this high, she would do the kids show, did the kid show eight years. That was a puppet show that you guys had.

And it was amazing show. Damn, they made her work for a young age. Yeah, yeah. So now we take this like a level deeper of darkness, which is she was really just an indentured slave of two to Jim and Tammy Faye. And they're stupid fucking PTL show. By the way, the network is called P.T.L. not T.B.Un. Okay, it doesn't matter they're interchangeable T.B.Un P.T.L.

Look at that doll. That's Tammy Sue. She's a little piglet. That's horrible. In Christian television, whether anybody wants to admit it or not, the kids tuned them in on that yet to have a separate tuner on V.H.F. And that was in that day. And every once in a while you would see this puff of something go by the bottom of the screens, right? It was Tammy Smooth, too, getting high with the director. I'm puffed, give. She's only 14 years old. But Jim Becker said it's okay. She's only 14 years old. But in the church,

no one's gay. She's only 14 years old. You're bottom of your screen. You just this little bunch of this black hair going by. You didn't know nobody knew what it was. It was Tammy Sue. Just know what even knew where she was. No one even knew who it was. It was Tammy Sue. Just know what even knew where she was. There was no one even knew who it was. It was literally just hair floating around. Someone scalped Tammy Sue and then put her on a puppet stick and for years we didn't know what was going on. And then we realized Tammy Sue's bulb. I went and checked on her in the attic. She said, Tammy Seuss bulb. Turns out the director, scalped her.

He was into some weird shit. The camera man said I used to, and I was this little that I used to duck under the camera. Oh, he can walk under. She can walk under. Really tight. And she goes sitting the control rooms and she, but let's, uh, Oh I can walk under it. She can walk under it really tight That is so cute. And she goes sit in the control rooms and she But let's try I know it's difficult

I wish she could oh she's a pro You know what the thing about her just let her do her thing because she's got it in her You have it in you the anointing is so strong on you Sing it Come on the anointing is so strong in you. And you have a new blue condo. Any empty shopping mall nestled in the Ozarks. You're a pro.

You're a pro. Don't worry about it. This is so funny. Oh my God. That's the same name. You are seeing rest. You know what you're giving? You're giving people hope.

You got it, okay? you're giving people hope you got it Okay, you're giving people hope because so many people's children are out there and they want them to come back Can I just say just preach great if reach if you have kids that don't agree with you just agree to disagree You know because there's a lot of stuff that dad and I don't see eye to eye on but it doesn't mean that you don't love them You know just agree to disagree because life is so short. It's not worth holding grudge. It's not that I held a grudge. So don't read into that, but it's not what you do. Yes, you did.

I would. You're still holding a grudge. That's why you're giving this little saliliquiri right now. First of all, second of all, we've heard more contriteness out of the woman who got screwed in this situation than we heard from the dude. And Chrissy, is every other man on that stage besides Jim Baker look like they're literally wearing a car tire? That's crazy. That's crazy.

How they all have the exact same body type. Then, if you're here today and you have any issues with your son or with your daughter, with your mother, with your father. I just encourage you today to just let it go. It's not worth it, it's not worth holding on to. Go to that person, go to your mom, go to your dad, your son, your daughter, your family member, and just say, you know what?

It's done. I love you. I love how this guy in the background has this conversation. Yeah, this conversation. This guy, oh, she's talking. I don't even think he's having a whole conversation this guy she's talking to me I'm going to examine conversation they're just like nodding their head together he's no he's never talking to the annoying woman oh man this is like this whole

thing is a c*** and by the way I guess Tammy Sue is the new you know uh what's that guy's name John Lynn in a bar time she's telling everybody to get along alright she starts singing everybody whole-tans and everything happens. If you're gonna fuck up your family, apologize correctly. That's all I gotta say. I know I'll fuck up my family at some point, but gotta apologize. Sincerely. From McCulley Cokins' big dick to Tammy Seuss 16 to 33 and a third, we've covered it all today, I think. How much more could you ask out of a commercial break episode? You got Big Dick's, you got Blue Condos,

you got 33 and a third. You mentioned the cocaine. You got the cocaine mentioned, the penis mentioned. You got everything that it, it's like a good enchilada. The can of them. Yeah, can of them. It's this, also the commercial break has a shelf life

of a thousand years too. It'll be as bad tomorrow as it is today. So enjoy it. TcbPodcast.com that's where you go to find out more information about Chrissy and I, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. But the most important thing you can do on our website is contact us. We'd love to give you a free 21 EPM sticker,, 21-Ajaculations per month, but it's only says 21-EPM to clarify.

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the commercial break and subscribe to the channel. Watch the videos. It's a whole new way to ingest the commercial break. I promise you're gonna love it. Like, comment on your favorite. We certainly would appreciate it. Help us grow the show. Leave a review. Why not? You know all the things. Do all the things. We would certainly appreciate it. We love you, we're grateful to every listener, we're the grateful to you. Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so.

I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time. Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say. Good bye. Good bye!I'm a starI'm a starI'm a star I'm a star

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