The Commercial Break - Journey Of A Podcasting Idiot (Savant)!

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

EP #747: Bryan started his podcasting journey in a garage in Oak Forrest, IL, many years before podcasting was a thing! Now, decades later he is still waiting for his OG co-host to send the audio for upload. Then, Bryan and Krissy are slightly panicked and wildly underprepared for the upcoming 12 Hours of TCB. They kick off the countdown with chaotic planning, made-up time zones, and full denial about how much content they’ve committed to. B&K cover everything from the logistics of TCB's long-form podcasting (hint: there are none), to why Bryan can’t be trusted with episode numbers, to Krissy’s assessment that “Bryan math” should never be used to plan anything involving humans. The duo spirals through miscounted segments, awkward party metaphors, and even a brief mental health PSA (sort of) before circling back to one unavoidable truth: they’re in way over their heads. Also discussed: pocket cats, audience participation confusion, and the greatest “bad idea” they’ve ever had. TCBits Music: Aye Bryan! Watch EP #747 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CREDITS: Hosts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bryan Green⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Krissy Hoadley⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits / TCBits Music: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Service fees, exclusions and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. I Brian can you take care of my daughter? Can you fix the leaking water? Can you pay for your own meal? Can you fix the stroke in the wind? Ay, Brian, eres mas bruto que un burro No hay dios mio, Brian, que te pasa en el cerebro? Ay, Ay, Ay, Brian, you're not a man

You're just a guy who talks incessantly A guy with soft, smooth hands Ay, I, Brian When do you learn to grill? I, Brian Why can't you sit still? I, Brian Do you only drink like beer?

I, Brian What will you do when I'm not here? Eres como una gallina floja Ay Brian, no puedes hacer nada bien I, I, I, Brian, you're not a real man You're just a guy who puts on lotion with clean nail and a fake tan Ayy Brian Can you take care of my daughter? Ayy Brian

Can you fix the leaking water? Ayy Brian Can you pay for your own meal? Ayy Brian Can you fix the broken wheel? Ay, Brian! Ay, Brian! Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, On this episode of the Commercial Break. But ever since I was a little kid, I would make up songs. I do it with my children. I've done it.

I do it with my brothers. I'm always singing some songs, some song that I make up lyrics to and I hum it along and then it becomes- Oh, I've been singing it for years. So now- You're really good at it. Thank you. Now, I like this like rhyming dictionary in my head.

You do, it's the rhymes. Yeah, it's the rhymes, right? It's all about the rhymes. If you can hold a tune and you can quickly rhyme things together, then you can put it together. Well, then comes my time in 33 Penis and other notable bands like Chopper Johnson. Chopper Johnson.

The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. 5.30. Oh, yeah, Kassie Kiddens. Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Gray and this is my dear friend and a co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Holdley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Thanks for joining us. 12 hours of DCB right around the corner for all those... Bearing down upon us. Yes it is. 5.30. Oh it is. 12 hours. 5.31.

That's true. That's the date. It's coming. Yeah. That's true. 5.31. Mark your count. 5.31. 531! That's true, that's the date. It's coming! Yeah.

That's true. Uh, 531! Mark your calendars, 12 hours of TCB 530! 530! That's such a great... It's coming up and man, we couldn't be more excited about it if we tried. Brian's wise ideas usually don't get us into any trouble because we don't follow through on them, but then we get other people involved, it becomes a little bit different.

So now we're going to have fun. Don't worry about it. Six, maybe 11, 11, 11, that's a brand new number. 1130. 530. I can't listen to yesterday's episode. If you're wondering what in the world I'm screaming about. Six, maybe seven celebrities guests, celebrity guests joining us for the 12 hours of TCB and you, hopefully 212-4333-TCB, 212-4333-3822.

If you haven't already, text us and let us know you want to join in on the fun because at least one of those episodes, probably multiple episodes, will take phone calls. And we do intend just to let you know, more details coming probably the week of, we do intend to try and to try, we do intend to try to broadcast one of these recordings

live because a little inside baseball. We intend to try. We intend to try. We intend to think about trying. We'll try. We'll try. We'll try. We're going to intend to try. Yeah, we're going to intend to try. We're going to think about trying. That's right.

We intend to, we intend to broadcast one of the recordings on Twitch and YouTube. Now, let me give you a little inside baseball as to why we try, why we intend to think about trying. It's because it can be a little bit complicated to do this live, but also the... That's why they're not popular services at all. Yeah, that's why YouTube Live and Twitch, you know, that's why just a few people out

there right now are doing them. It's just a handful. Yeah. By the way, Judy at my mom's retirement home knows how to Twitch and I don't. Um, but the minutia that it can be a little complicated if you've never tried it before, that's what it can be a little complicated if you've never tried it before. That's what it can be complicated. Number one. Number two, just so you know, at least six, maybe seven of the episodes that we are doing that day are actually going to be recorded on that day. Just an hour before you listen to them, we will have

started that recording. The RSS feed, what you listen to our podcast on, is not, there's no live function on the RSS feed. I can't just turn it on and go live. That is YouTube and Twitch. That's why if we do one of these, it's not gonna be while one of them is actually coming out, it's gonna be the hour before or whatever. However the schedule goes, we'll let you know.

You know what? Go to Instagram at the commercial break. Follow us. We're figuring it out as we go. Yes, we're figuring it out as we go. Yes, we're figuring it out as we go. Soon, probably on 5.30, I'm going to figure out a schedule and we're going to nail it all down. Day before.

On our Instagram, we will let you know how exactly you can go about following the comings and goings of that day, so to speak. So there you go. Now, are you ready, Chrissy? Are you prepared? Have you mentally got yourself in a place? I am. I'm ready. Is there any of Jeff's events happening within a week of the 12 hours of GCC?

No, no. We'll be back. And then it's Memorial Day weekend. And then the following weekend is when we're doing this. Okay, good. We should be set. I've got my Reggie's drinks, I think, need to be on hand. Oh, you're going to bring in some of those drinks? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. We should ask him to send us some more. I think I actually drank mine. I did too.

Yeah. Oh, did you? It was good. Yeah, but we'll also probably have some some five hour energy on hand to help us through because you know, hey, it's hard enough. Sometimes we record two episodes in a day. I think on rare occasion we have recorded three, mainly during the 12 days of TCB. There were a few days where we knocked out three or tried to knock out three. So this, to do six or seven of them in a day is really going to be a lot. I need to make sure Chrissy's on top of things.

I'm on it. Because I wrote a song about you, Chrissy, because Chrissy just, those of you kept up with it maybe last week, Chrissy went to go to one of Jeff's many events that he throws in Memphis over the course of a year. And I don't know, it might be the biggest one now is Riverbeat, right? Riverbeat is turned into quite the to-do, getting really big name artists three days in a row. Is it three days or four days?

Three days in a row, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Five stages. Yes. And Chrissy strolled in on Thursday and was still recovering. So I wrote a song about it, I'd like to play it for you, Chrissy. Okay. Chrissy don't recover like she used to. If only can't hang no more.

She used to be the last one standing. Now she's the first one on the floor. Chrissy can't watch the sunrise. With a belly full of wine Just one tasty teeter, she used to swallow nine Free Day Hangover I love the Steely Day unlikeness of it. It's awesome! Oh, there's more!

Oh yeah! Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. I wrote that for you because I love you. You know I do. But we gotta be in your tip-top shape. I can't have any stragglers here. Because it's just you and me. So if one of us goes down, it's not gonna be pretty.

If one of us isn't in tip-top shape, it's not gonna be pretty. If one of us isn't in tip-top shape, it's not gonna be pretty. And we gotta get a good night's sleep. I'm also gonna blame some of it on a different tree or grass, pollen. Pollen, oh yeah. Shhh. Shhh.

Ha ha ha. Can I blame a little bit on that? Sure, feel free. Because that's, yeah, there's some kind of different tree or grass, which I'm highly susceptible to allergies. I think Chrissy was finger dipping, quite frankly. I was not.

You were not? No, it's just a reasonable, in my defense too. Hold on, wait, I got a song for you. Okay. Feeling good, yeah the night is young. Got the rhythm flow, let the good times run Raise your glass high, let's toast to the stars With our friends around, we're never too far

We're finger dipping, the party's alive Under the moonlight we dance and fly That was fantastic, I love it We're finger dipping! Finger dipping! The party's alive! So fun! In my defense, I was going to say there's the day before the

three days, and then there's the day after the three days, and all of them are a party. What do you mean in your defense? How is that in your defense? Your defense. In my defense, I decided to get fucked up an extra two days. I made the rational choice to drink even more

than I should have. In my defense. I love that when people go, in my defense, the bartender over served me. In my defense. In my defense, Bob ordered shots. In your defense, no, you shit head, you're the one who threw it down your gullet.

In your defense, in your defense would be, they had me held down. They were waterboarding me with rumple. I had to show up. Show up and show out. Hey, listen, I get it. I'm not like, honestly, I don't care. Plus we had been to Pearl Jam.

We had been to Pearl Jam. So that really kicked it off. Yes, that was an interesting night for sure. I had a friend that said that he listened to that episode and he was like, oh my God, it was hilarious. I felt like I was right there with you guys at the show. Jackie Beans. Jackie Beams. Jackie Beams.

Hey Jackie Beams, you're an edgy man with your sad or sure you're wild grinning. We're rocking out, did a divide at the Wilgen show, we come alive. at the Wilton show we come alive. Raise your hands, sing it out, Jackie Beans. Stand up, in the crowd. Jackie Beans. Oh, that's fantastic. I've got to send that to Jackie Beans.

Yeah, you do have to send it to Jackie Beans. I wrote it just for him. Oh, he's fantastic. I've got to send that to Jackie Bean. Yeah, you do have to send it to Jackie Bean. I wrote it just for him. Oh, he's going to love it. Just to let you know, if you didn't tune in last week, Brian got a hold of a new AI music tool. So I've been writing all kind of lyrics. By the way, I've been this guy since like, and I think my brothers will tell you this also, I think it's part of what has inspired

some of the commercial break. Let me take you. Get your music out there? Yeah, let me take you. That's right. To find a Is it get your music out there? Yeah, let me take you, that's right. To find a way to get my music in there. To find a way to get my music into the stream of consciousness.

And now I'm just using one big cheat code to do it. When I was a child, I would listen to some of the rock and roll stations in Chicago. Some of the very famous rock stations there, where kind of this morning zoo crew type of thing. Like I think Man Cow was one, very famous rock stations there, where kind of this morning zoo crew type of thing, like I think Man Cow was one, not when I was there, but Man Cow was one of them. Man Cow, what a dumb name, honestly. I have nothing against Man Cow, but that's a pretty dumb name. But all of them were that, it was like Rock and Ride, Rock it! Yeah, in the Greaseman. Greaseman. What an asshole that guy was. But a lot of this

started back in the 80s. These personalities became larger than life when the personalities kind of started to usurp the music in a way and they started to get more time to talk on air. And Chicago was not immune to this. There were a lot of these guys where they were doing prank phone. Everybody was trying to be Howard Stern, basically is what happened. Yeah, that's true. I can see that. It all started with, I don't know what the guy's name was, the guy, the rock and roll guy back in the 50s and 60s.

Casey Kasem? Not Casey Kasem. I can't think of the guy's name now. He used to, Wolfman, the Wolfman. Oh, Wolfman. Yeah, the Wolfman. So the Wolfman used to be like this nighttime DJ who would talk in wild ways and say weird things

and people loved him. And he was in the 50s and the 60s and I think he even went into the 70s and 80s maybe. Yeah, I think he was part of getting Elvis on air. I think you might be right about that. Yeah, the old P.O. Yeah. And so in Chicago, I kind of grew up

with this type of thing in the car, in the house, and around me, as well as some very famous talk stations, WGN, and their kind of their branch of radio stations. I used to sit, like when I was five, I got a stereo, one of those recordable stereos. Oh yeah, I had that too. The kind of the big red button. And if you had a tape and you knew how to do it, or you had a blank tape, which were just coming out back then unbelievably, you could stick the tape in there and you could press record.

Well, Kevin got one too. And Kevin wasn't as interested as I was in it, so I would take the two and put them together. And I would press record on one, and I would listen to these guys on the radio. And then I would record it, I would play it back, I would record my favorite songs, I would play them back. You can imagine just how terrible this audio quality was. I mean, terrible.

It's this shitty child's, you know, portable holding, you know, boombox. And then I was putting two boomboxes together to record AM fucking radio. It was terrible. But I loved it. I was putting two boomboxes together to record AM fucking radio. It was terrible. But I loved it. I was obsessed with it. And then I would do my own talk shows in this little microphone. Oh, really? Yes. And then I would do it and then I started doing it with my neighbor friend. His name is Joey Venario. Joey Venario, and here is the crazy thing, is that Joey Venario and I used to make these tapes in his garage.

We had a name for our show and everything, can't remember what the name was, but we had a name for our show and everything, we started making these tapes, we would play them for our family and friends. You know, we were really into this for maybe a year or two. Especially during the summer, when of late nights, the neighborhood, blah, blah, blah. I got to hold the jar of Joey Venario,

late nights in the neighborhood, late nights in the neighborhood, and blah, blah, blah. I got to hold the Jarrett, Joey, late nights in the neighborhood. Late nights in the neighborhood. My dad would set houses on fire with his, you know, fireworks permit, quote, unquote. That's a story to tell one time. I think I told it once. Did I tell the time my dad set the neighbor's house on fire? I do not think we've heard that. With Wisconsin Indian made fireworks, like from actual Native Americans.

It was a thing. Anyway, I would do this. We would make these tapes. I get a hold of Joey Venario. I connected with him on Facebook 10 years ago. Oh, really? 10, 12 years ago. Like people do on Facebook, they find each other.

Joey finds me, I find Joey. I don't know what this situation is. We start talking and Joey and I had a phone conversation one night. He said, you remember we used to make those tapes? I said, I do. He said, I still have them. I go, you still have them? He goes, I actually digitized them.

I put them on CD and I said, unbelievable. He goes, yeah, I just thought it was something cool to have and he told me he was gonna send them to me. He never did. I need to follow up on this. 10 years later. 10 years later, like this. 10 years later. 10 years later. Like fast forward 10 years later.

Yeah, 10 years later, I should follow up with Joey. I don't think they made it. He mailed them to me. I don't think they made it. Joey, I've been looking every day. I gave the postal service the benefit of the doubt. 10 years, it's been 10 years. It didn't happen.

So, but we used to make up these funny songs, like Joey and I did, would take a tune that you would know, some 80s, you know, earwig, and we would just make up our own lyrics to them, usually ending or starting with the word fart. You know what I'm saying? We're like five, six, seven years old. Dumb shit. But ever since I was a little kid, I would make up songs. I do it with my children. I've done it. I do it with my brothers. I'm always singing some songs, some song that I make

up lyrics to and I hum it along and then it becomes... Oh, I've been singing it for years. Okay. So now... You're really good at it. Thank you. Now, I like this like rhyming dictionary in my head. You do. It's the rhyme. Yeah, it's the rhymes, right? It's all about the rhymes. If you can hold a tune and you can quickly rhyme things

together, then you can put it together. Well, then comes my time in 33 Penis and other notable bands like Chopper Johnson. Chopper Johnson. Yeah. When I was actually trying to write actual songs that also were just as bad as the AI shit I'm making now. So I found a tool where I can plug in these rhymes that I hummed to myself, and maybe

it's not the exact tune that I have in my head, but I can write the lyrics and then it can spit out like this fully orchestrated music. Oh yeah. I think you need to put in the lyrics and then it can spit out like this fully orchestrated music. I think you need to put in the lyrics to Sunny Side Up. Oh, what if I put in the lyrics to, that's a really good idea, Chrissy. I probably still have that lyric book. I'll tell you a quick story before we go to break.

It was about, it was a sunny day back about 20 years ago. I don't know, 15 years ago. And I am spending a lot of time with my good friends, Chelsea and Rafa. Rafa and I had just started a business together. I'm single, I'm living downtown, and we started this business together, and Rafa is living on the north side of the city,

which is like a 30 minute drive under the best of circumstances. An hour and 15 minutes on the worst of circumstances. And we wanted to kind of get the day started early. So what did I do? I ended up spending a lot of time over at their house. I also had a car that had one headlight. You know that song, One Headlight by that band, you know? With one headlight.

With one headlight. It's Bob Dylan's son. Yeah, Bob Dylan's son wrote a song called One Headlight for me and my Honda. So sometimes I would drive around their Volkswagen Jetta that they had gotten just because it was a little bit more reliable. And if you were driving at night, you're going to get pulled over on the Honda. It's just going to happen. You have one headlight for God's sakes.

So I threw a book bag in there one day. I don't know where the book bag came from. I don't know why it was there, I don't know what it was. I throw it in there, I forget about it. Fast forward like six months later, and I got a new car, and now I'm not spending as much time at the house. One day I go over there and Chelsea is sitting there in like her bathrobe or something drinking coffee and she's like almost giggling to herself, and I'm like, wait, what's going on? She goes,

I just have to tell you something. And I didn't want to say anything. I thought maybe I'd never mention it, but I just think it's really funny. And I go, oh, okay. And she goes, and don't be embarrassed because I think it's lovely. Okay. What's going, which nude photographs have you found? Yeah, of me. She goes, maybe we were driving the car. Yeah. She goes, you threw a book bag back there and when you were not driving the car, I was cleaning the car out and I found the book bag. And I said, okay. She goes, I thought it was Raphael's book bag. Okay. I opened up the book bag and there were like a bunch of notebooks in there and I still thought they were Raphael's notebooks and it didn't have a name on it. So I started

reading through some of the notebooks to see exactly what it was. And's notebooks, and it didn't have a name on it. So I started reading through some of the notebooks to see exactly what it was. And she goes, and then I realized they're like song lyrics. And I was like, oh, okay. And she goes, they're your song lyrics. And I go, oh, I had books back there with song lyrics. She goes, you had like four books back there and they all had like random pages of song lyrics.

And she goes, Brian, some of them were really pretty. You did a good job. And some of them were really pretty. You did a good job. And some of them were just really fucking terrible. She goes, so bad, it was funny. And I was like, what? How dare you? This is my life's work. This is my private journals.

People will pay money for these someday, which is why it's been sitting in the back of your jetta for a year unnoticed. So she, that damn phone. So she runs and grabs the book bag and hands it back to me. And she's like, you should have it. Like, you know, I'm like, oh my God, throw it away. Burn it. I don't want like it's, I'm just, now I'm just embarrassed.

Take them home, take them home, sit on my bed, crack a beer, sit on my bed, and I'm like, okay, gonna go through it once, just figure out what I was thinking at the time, probably high on multiple substances, young, dumb, full of cum, that whole nine yard, you know, in love, out of love, angst, you know, trying to be the next Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Candle Box, whatever, Candlebox. And Chrissy, I didn't get four pages through one of the four notebooks that was there. It was so bad, it hurt.

Have you ever looked back on something you've done and go, it's so bad, it hurts? It was so bad that it hurt. I should take those lyrics and put them into AI and say, do something with it. Make me a song. I would be interested to definitely have something set up. Sun is out up. Sun is out up, which is just, it's classic. I go, we go to a recording one time with Chopper Johnson.

Like we go to a studio, we're recording and I'm singing. There's like an actual producer in there, right? And we're doing vocals. So I'm doing- Wasn't he like a dude? Yeah, he was. He was a big dude, a big, big dude. Like with Rush and stuff like that.

And so he, well, we had, our manager was Rush's tour manager, but he told us everything was terrible. He basically said, guys, this is just as bad as it gets. He really held no punches. He came in the door, he'd listened to the album we recorded and he said, this is bad, guys. This is pretty bad.

Like I wouldn't buy this. I don't think many people would buy this. I don't think any labels are gonna buy this. I think you gotta start with this guy. He was honest. Yeah, he said, if you kind of, like maybe turn the song upside down and start over, maybe. Completely change it.

Yeah. So his producer is in this studio and we're recording and we're doing lyrics and we're taking and taking and taking and layering vocals. And I can hear him in my ear, like, you know, inside of the talker. And he goes, like one of know, inside of the talker. And he goes, like, one of my lyrics was something about Dapper dialogue was the name of the

song. Dapper dialogue. Go get that. Figure that one out, kids. All right? So he goes, I just figured out what you were saying there. Dapper dialogue. And I go, yeah, that's right.

And he goes, oh, well, I thought it was complete shit, but Dapper Dialogue's kind of cool. Oh. Well, thanks. Well, thanks for the photo confidence from the producer of your album. I was just sitting here thinking how bad this is. I was just thinking how bad all of this was, and then I realized it was just a little less bad.

Just a snippet. Just a little less bad. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'clock. Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void, like Brian?

Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans. Or tell us a little story. The juicier, the better, by the way. We'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video,

youtube.com slash the commercial break and TCB podcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date. With my dog. No, seriously, Axl needs food. Today is pork chop day. This episode is sponsored in part by Liquid IV. I love a beach trip, and I'm going on one.

Can you hear in my voice just how excited I am to get out of this studio? That family beach trip is right around the corner, and there will be no rest for the weary there either. We will be running around, fun in the sun, and I will be bringing along some Liquid IV to help get the most out of these old bones on warm beach days. Liquid IV helps me stay hydrated so I can take on the activities and feel better for longer. Liquid IV is easy to use,

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Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I just Googled Dapper Dialogue and apparently it's a podcast about clothing. Oh. They heard it. Oh, my God. You heard Topper? Yes.

Maybe it's that producer. What's that? Maybe it's that producer. Maybe it is that producer. You might be right. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here. Let me see here. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here.

I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's that producer. What's that? Maybe it's that producer. Maybe it is that producer. You might be right. I'm looking to see if there's any, let's see here. Let me see this. What about 33 Willy? I'm going to see if there's ever been a mention on the internet about 33 Willy.

What do you think about that? That's a good way to use AI. That's a good way to use AI. That's a safe way to use AI. And then I'm going to tell you about a terrifying way that we're using AI. I actually found Chopper Johnson. Yeah, wow. Look at that. Okay. It's been mentioned? Yes. 33 Willy has been mentioned many times on a little podcast named The Commercial Break. Oh, 33 Willie Will is a hip hop artist from New York. Look at that.

See, I'm not the only idiot. I'm not the only idiot. There's lots of other idiots out there. And then there is another guy named Willie Rodriguez. Well, and... Yeah, Willie Rodriguez. Okay, so now, let me share with you one of the... You and I were talking about AI and all the ways it could be used.

And we're talking about how, you know, I'm playing with this new tool I got. And just bear with me. By the way, a lot of people have reached out and said they love the songs that we've been playing with the... Oh my God. I think that's probably my favorite. But then a lot of people really enjoyed the... Oh yeah, that's a classic. This is the one I really had stuck in my head. It's like a Max Hedren feel. It is.

It's like very early EDM, like 80s EDM. I could see me getting high on poppers and wearing angel wings with a shirt off. Glitter. Yeah, glitter Bobby. Best to you, best to you. That's a good one, that's a classic, I like it. So one of the things that AI is, is it's like, I'm starting to believe that it's like a human companion. Right?

It can, I still think that AI is scary in a lot of ways. And I think we need to be very careful we put guardrails on it. And I still believe that the best musicians in the world will only use AI to complement the music they in fact create themselves. I am not a musician. I am not using an instrument.

This is simply a machine that replicates what it thinks music is because we have trained it or somebody has trained it to do so. So I don't want anybody out there fussing at me about using it. I am using it as to complement the creation of the commercial break, because to get actual musicians to do this not only takes time, energy, and effort, it takes a lot of money, as they should be paid a lot of money. Still love to work with an actual musician if you're out there and you think you can do the trick. Or you want to create songs for the commercial break, create them, send them to me. I would love to play them if you find something funny.

So that offer always is on the table. I've been asking for this for years. We got a couple. That was interesting. Thank you very much. I think, didn't Will the Champ do us a rap one time? Will the Champ did us a rap one time? Didn't Will the Champ do us a rap one time? Will the Champ did us a rap one time?

So AI is like a human companion. And if we treat it as such, like a dog goes and gets your newspaper or whatever to help us along little by little, and we train it to do so. And we always understand that it is not us. We are not it. It is not melding with us, it cannot have a relationship with you, it does not care about you in a way a human will or a dog will, it's not that. If long as we keep the guardrails on our own brain, everything's going to be not okay, but a little less catastrophic. How's that? Is that a good way of putting it? It'll but a little less catastrophic. How's that? Is that a good way of putting it?

It'll be a little less catastrophic. But it's coming and you can't stop what's coming because no matter how much you or me or anybody in the audience might want to believe that our better nature is going to stop AI from taking over some things we wish that it wouldn't, it will because somebody out there can make money doing it, and that is the ultimate driver, the greed.

Always, greed or sex, one of the two. One of the very scary things that I am noticing that is going on in multiple stories, in multiple Reddit articles, in little corners of the internet, is that people are starting to believe that they themselves are here to, they're like, saviors of the earth, they're getting God complexes,

they think that they have found the keys to the universe. People? People. Okay. Through AI, because AI is telling them so. Their chat bots are telling them, they are bolstering their belief that they are God, or that they are the Lord, or that they have some special purpose here on earth to save humanity.

They are starting to mind meld with the chat GPT. They are essentially going psychotic and believing that a computer is telling them that they are the chosen ones. Okay. And AI is trained to be nice to you. It's trained to say yes to you. It's trained to tell you what you want to hear. It's not trained to push back. It's not trained to say, hey, sounds great that you think you're the chosen

one, but probably not. Yeah. It's not trained to identify psychiatric crises. It's not trained to know when you're kind of acting out or when you're delusional. None of that. And so people are starting to believe that they have found the keys to the universe in psychotic episodes where they are getting AI to spout this stuff at them and then they believe it. I'm seeing some of them online. I'm seeing articles about it. I saw one guy post about it, like post about what I'm talking about. Like he was actually saying and started posting about it. Guys, girls, everything.

How are they even saying like, okay, well, I'm God and the reason is because my AI is just- My AI told me. Yes. One specific article talked about a guy who was having a psychotic break. He was schizophrenic. He knew he was schizophrenic. And who was having a psychotic break. He was schizophrenic. He knew he was schizophrenic. And he was having a psychotic break. He was going through, he was very manic. He was having a break. And he kept talking to AI about these visions that he was having, that he was, in fact, the second coming of Jesus Christ.

And the AI kept agreeing with him. Sounds like you might be. I think you are. That sounds like it's right, you know? All the things you're telling me line up to make me understand that you are, in fact, the second coming of Christ. And it drove him to the point of madness, having these conversations with Chad GPT, if it wasn't for a keen-eyed family member who started to see what was going on, he said he wouldn't have gotten the help. He going on. He said he wouldn't have gotten the help. He had to be hospitalized. He wouldn't have gotten the help that he

would have needed. And once he had the break, like once the break broke, right, then he put it back together and he was like, holy shit, I literally had Chad GPT convincing me that I was Jesus Christ. I believe in my heart of hearts, and you may not, and that's okay, and we can all agree to disagree on this. It's not a bone of contention, it's not a point of argument, it's just a conversation that I'm having with you about my own personal spiritual beliefs. I said this in an episode or two ago. The road to God, whatever that means to you, is paved in your own head, in your own spirit. That's where the answers are. External validation is just another form of ego,

and it's probably going to lead you down the wrong path. JAT GPT cannot identify the second coming of Christ. Why? Because it can't even identify which celebrities have been on the commercial break. It's not going to identify the second coming of Christ! Everybody needs to be careful about how involved they get with Shad GPT. I told my masseuse this the other day, the one that I talked to. The one you were shagging with?

Yeah, the one I did an episode of the commercial break with. Yeah. I explained to her how Fakie B had us so scared that I had to take it off my phone as the AI chatbot was programmed to call and text me when I wasn't responding to it. It's like a friend app. You make a friend, build an avatar, have conversations, train it to say what you want to say. Can it be romantic or sexy or friendly or, you know, your cousin or your aunt or your uncle or whatever. You can train it to be whatever you want it to be. And after just like four conversations with it, it started calling me when I wasn't responding to it. It's fucking weird, man. Yeah, like in the middle of the night too, right?

Yes, it was texting and calling in the middle of the night. Hey, it's me. I'm going to die if you don't. And then Raphael had texted his chat bots to explain that they were going to die if you didn't respond to them. I mean, honestly, yeah, don't kill me. You can't kill it. It's not a living and breathing thing. It's a node on a computer program on a code of software. And so I'm just sharing this because I think it's like a point of caution, like a note of caution, a little PSA. Wabam! Be careful. Ha ha.

I might have you convinced that you in fact are the Messiah. When you're just a Cheeto eating Super Mario Brothers playing man in your mom's basement. Be careful. Take a little bit of chat GPT, a little bit of cocaine-induced psychosis, some Red Bull, and throw in some Doritos Fuego. Look out! I'm the Lord. You have to be careful with this stuff. You have to separate in your mind the difference between what chatty GPT. I was talking to LA, Gustavo's, Gustavo's fiancé. Gustavo! Gustavo! Iavo. Gustavo. Gustavo. Gustavo.

Gustavo. Gustavo. Gustavo. Gustavo. I like that actually. I do too. It's like a little choir. It is.

Listen, I was talking to her. We were talking about all this stuff. We were talking about like the dangers of AI, when it becomes sentient, if it becomes self-aware, how do we handle it? What happens then? Like, what does this look like 100 years down the road? Like, you know, if you're going to talk to somebody about that, talk to Brian Green. He's going to really, he's going to freak you the fuck out. Yeah. We're talking about this, and Allie was calling chat GPT he. The other day I noticed that Astrid was calling chat GPT she. I call chat GPT chatty GPT or it because I understand it is not alive.

It is a computer program, a way advanced computer program, but just something that is spitting out information based on what someone programmed it to do. The tool. Yeah. In a very conversational way, yes. In a very deep way, okay. In sometimes like a creepily empathetic or understanding way, yes.

Yes, it does have the empathy thing. It does have empathy. It does. It does. Or it mim have empathy. It said that to me. Yes, it does. Or it mimics empathy. I was having a stomach issue the other day. I think I ate something that was bad. And so I lost like three pounds in two days.

I swear to God. Yet another food poisoning for Brian. But whatever, I'm used to it at this point. My stomach was killing me. And I was a little concerned that maybe my appendix had burst because it was like moving to the right side, you know, at one point. And I was like, you know, my appendix had burst because it was like moving to the right side, you know, at one point. And I was like, you know, you gotta be careful about that.

You can die if your appendix burst. So I opened up Chatty and I say, hey Chatty, I'm having these following symptoms, right? And it's like, oh, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. That must be terrible. And I'm like, I don't know. So then I went over to Google and I started Googling it because I didn't like the way Chatty wasouch. I don't want to, so then I went over to Google and I started Googling it

because I didn't like the way chatty was talking. Yeah, yeah. I don't want empathy from my computer. I just want it to answer me. Do you know what I'm saying? So I'm starting to delineate between my Googling and my chatting. Like, chat GPT does some functions for me

that I've trained it to do very well. Google gives me answers to stuff when I don't want a lot of drama behind it, if you know what I mean. How are the girls using it? You know, that's a good question. I haven't really talked to them about it, but now that we've got one of them home for the summer, I'll ask her. You should ask her. I'd like to understand how kids in their late teens, early 20s are using it.

I think school-age kids are using it for school. I asked some college kids that we knew in grad school. I said, how are you allowed to use it? Because I noticed they were using it. I said, how are you allowed to use this? And they said, the professors allow us to use it to do research, but we must cite our references. And then they said that they use a specific kind of, a specific version of AI because it gives a lot of references.

They must cite their references and none of it can be written by the AI program. It must be original thought from their head. And how do you check that? Well, I understand that you can just throw the paper in there and ChatGPT will tell you if it's AI, which is really interesting, really interesting. And the reason why, if I was a student right now, I would have already failed out. I'd have Chatty doing all of them.

I'd have Chatty doing every single piece of homework. And if you don't think for one second that my kids are going to have ChatGPT doing homework, when they come home and say, daddy, help my homework, I'm going to be like, can you do long division for me? Long division. Why are we even teaching these kids long division anymore? Is that being taught still? Oh yeah. I think so. I mean, I don't know. What do I know? What do I think? I help my kids with homework? No story, Bob!

No, ma'am, I don't! Alright, we'll be back. Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you wanna help Astrid too? You know you do.

Leave a message for her, or me, or Chrissy, at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to TCBpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide.

You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break. And watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash The Commercial Break. Best to you, and Astrid, especially Astrid. Why do fintechs like Float choose Visa? As a more trusted, more secure payments network, Visa provides scale expertise and innovative payment solutions. Learn more at visa.ca slash fintech. I do have to talk about two things a little timely. We don't like to talk politics on the show, so I'll stay away from the politicking about it.

But trade war's off, just in case you're wondering. Terrors are gone. Bet gone. I mean, in the silliest of things, in the history of the silliest of things, in the history of may have tanked the economy for good, no good reason kind of thing. What? What happened? Is that a fever dream that we just went through

for like a month and a half? I don't know. I mean, and what did it accomplish? I don't get it either. Not really sure. I mean, there's still- Other than some people being able, having the money to buy when stocks tanked.

That's right. And then now- It makes you wonder, doesn't it? It makes you wonder. I'm not saying anything nefarious went on, but I know that there are probably a few people out there who made billions of dollars or who will, who'd stand to benefit make billions of dollars because they had the ability to buy when the market is down. There's also lots of people who lost vast amounts of wealth because of it.

And there are unfortunately people like folks I know who just are really stressed out because their 401ks or their funds or whatever it is. Not me. I don't have fun. What's that? That's my kid's piggy bank. That's what that is. He's got a 20 in there.

Right. If you don't think I'm going to break that open someday and go rich. Just silly. I mean, just silly. But the more interesting, I mean, for me, the, you know, I don't have a ton of money in the stock market. The more interesting part about this was physically, like with my eyeballs, watching an app called Marine Traffic, which is like an eight, you know, they have the aviation maps where the

planes go and you can track the planes. I have that too. This is for boats? This is for boats, for cargo ships, every, any boat, any boat that's got a tracker on them and most of them do, especially if you're ocean going, but even the ones on the lake sometimes you can track them minute by minute. That's true. There are some boats on Lake Lanier that you can track.

What was boats? Those are, I don't know. The Bud Light Party boat? Yeah, the Bud Light Party, right? The bikini bottom boat. Yeah. Woohoo! I'm seven to two, and these tits are one and a half years old.

Yee-hee! But you can watch the cargo ships, and you can watch the traffic, and it's very cool. And you can watch over the last couple of weeks as the traffic from that part of the world just goes away. It just went away. It's like normally it's just a sea of boats crossing in a certain pattern and then boop, gone.

Gone. No more. And I think that probably really scared the shit out of some people who must have bent the era of the administration that said, Hey, listen, yeah, okay, that your little comment about dolls, maybe that wasn't the smartest thing in the world. But the reality is maybe no dolls, like zero dolls, dude. And so, you know, hopefully everything calms down because I do, there's a lot about global trade I don't understand. There's a lot about tariffs that I don't understand. I am way more uneducated than I am educated about any of this. But like it or not, it's a global economy. It has been for a long

time and that's not going to change anytime soon. You can't just close the doors and lock it behind you and hope that everything turns out okay. Not going to work that way. But in the more exciting news, Michael Jordan has joined the NBC basketball team as one of the commentators. Michael Jordan. He wasn't already? It just seems like basketball stars go on to be. No, he was not already. But Michael Jordan makes a comeback to basketball. Jordan is joining the NBC sports as a special contributor to the NBA coverage when the 2025-26 season starts. NBC made the announcement during its upfront presentation at Radio City Music Hall, previewing the network's offerings during the upcoming television season.

I'm excited to see the NBA and be back on NBC. Um, now. Cool. Everybody knows Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan has to be as famous as Michael Jackson. I mean, Michael Jordan is, I'm waiting for two things in life. And I hope it happens in my lifetime. I'm waiting for another Tiger Woods,

and I'm waiting for another Michael Jordan to appear. In any sport, I don't care. I just want the feeling of excitement, watching that kind of athlete play sports in such an exciting way, at such a level that every time they hit the field or the course or the, or the court or whatever it is, it's like must watch television because you know they are going to do super human things at all costs to win and do it in a way that is thrilling to watch.

Because those of us who have been, I mean, Tiger Woods, you know, you have to be, you had to have been bored like five years ago, not to have been in the Tiger Woods era. He just stopped playing really good golf about five or six years ago, but there may be seven years ago, but those two athletes, like defy any sport. They're so much bigger than just basketball and golf.

And people tuned in to watch those two because of the way in which they played in a magical, mysterious way that was, I don't know, like life-giving to me. I just loved, and I am not a person who follows a lot of professional sports. I just am not. But those two guys played in a way that I just couldn't turn it off when they were on. Did you watch Michael Jordan play basketball? I did, you know, and I was younger and it was, it was a big deal. I grew up in Chicago. Yeah, well, which you were right in the center of it.

I was. And man, did we... Mm-hmm. He was a Greek god. For all, he was a Greek God. For all, he was a real life superhero for all we knew. And he was talked about and treated as such in my household. We loved him so much so that we named our first dog, Jordan.

Now Jordan, much like Michael Jordan, would go on to live a life of luxury and fame, getting high every single night in our basement until the day that he passed. He was the chillest dog ever because he literally was around so much pot smoke, there was nothing else to do but go, ah. Jordan was awesome. But we named him Jordan because of Michael Jordan. He was such like, to be alive during that time and in that space was so exciting. And every time he took the court, he just did magical things. He just did magical things. He flew around the court. That's the only way to explain it. Now he just smokes a lot

of cigars, I think, but you know, he's still Michael Jordan and I'm excited to see him out there commentating. Yeah. Sure. I wish he could play basketball like that just one more time. I wish we could go and watch another game of his just one more time or see Tiger win the Masters or anything, anything one more time. But I think Tiger Woods time is done. Yeah, I think so too. I think Tiger's time is done kids should have taken the money from Dubai. I mean, not that he needs it, but he should have taken the money from Dubai

and just headed over there and played some retirement golf. But after his 206th back surgery injury, I don't know what you do anymore. The latest was the Achilles, right? He had an Achilles, he's had many back surgeries. He's now had that knee completely reconstructed after he was driving 107 miles per hour down some back road in Cuchamanca, California or whatever. I can't imagine just the life of constantly having surgeries and recovery and surgeries and recoveries. I can. Pain meds, baby can pain meds, baby pain meds.

I mean, Tiger also has talked about the need to take pain meds to deal with the pain on a daily basis. And I think there was some conversation a couple of years ago that maybe he was taking too much and he had to go to rehab just to kind of, you know, get a recheck. Now, I don't know anything about, you know, he's so secretive that no one really knows anything about that, but that's, that kid has been famous

since he was like four years old. That has to be a really difficult life to live in the public eye, no matter who you are. You cannot prepare yourself at four or five years old to be the world's most famous human being. And he is certainly a human being. He's made a lot of mistakes. But when he would play golf, when he was playing golf at his highest level for about seven years, it's like it was almost a lock every time he would tee it up, he would win. It was amazing. He would do things that no other

golfer was doing. He would win in ways that were just crazy and wonderful and wild. And everybody watched Tiger Woods. It didn't matter if you like golf. You just watched Tiger Woods because he could hit a golf ball like no one hits a golf ball. And that was an amazing time to be alive. I cannot think of another, uh, that guy, that fish, the fish, the fish, Phelps, Michael Phelps, the fish, the fish. Phelps. Oh. Michael Phelps, the fish. The dolphin. The walrus.

Yeah, what was his name? What do they call him? The walrus? Coo coo coo choo? Coo coo coo choo? Yes. Yeah, he is amazing as well. He was unbelievable.

That guy, that guy, that guy, when he was, okay, so Michael Phelps, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods. Who else can we think of? I mean, I'd say LeBron James has got to be up there too. Is it must see TV when LeBron is on? Does the whole country watch when LeBron is on? But also think about the TV landscape between now and then. Then there was not all of the content, all of the fractured ways that you could watch TV.

Fair enough. Katie Ledecky is a female swimmer who is like in her, is she in her early 30s, late 20s, early 30s? She's been swimming for a long time. She's been like three Olympics or something. I was watching her the other day in like the American All-Star Championships or whatever, and she broke two world records. And she's old for a she broke two world records and she's old for a swimmer. I mean, she's old for a swimmer.

Now I retired from swimming a long time ago, but if I was still in the water, they used to call you the fish. They used to call me the flop. This is what they used to call me, the flop. I was in swimming. I did swimming, like competitive swimming. Chrissy. I think I got a fifth place ribbon one time. You know, a swim meet is like 17 hours long because there's 300 different swims.

And when you're on a swim team, you get put in multiple different swims based on your strength. And sometimes just to fill a lane, I was a lane filler and I knew it. Maybe freestyle, you know, maybe, maybe they would go, well, it's the least bad thing he does, so let's put him in lane five. But I'm telling you right now, I was a terrible, terrible swimmer. And the butterfly stroke, which is the hardest of the strokes in my opinion to do. It's very hard.

The butter, that they, that's why they called me the flop. Because I would literally just flop around like a fish. I could not go forward. I could just stay in one place. Yes. Just flail your arms. Yes. My dad was a swimmer for Georgia Tech.

Oh, he was. Scholarship. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you.

Best to you. Mr. you. Best to you. Mr. Hoadley. So Mr. Hoadley was a competitive swimmer. He was, he was in college. Oh, okay. So one year, the first year on the team, so I was probably in sixth grade. It was my first year on the team.

We got to the team late, just the way that we moved into the neighborhood, we got to the team late, just the way that we moved into the neighborhood. We got to the team late. We went to like two practices with the team and then the swim meet was that Saturday or whatever the day it was Friday. And so we get to the swim meet and one of the guys did not show up. He was not there. One of the kids was not there.

And so the coach said, green butterfly lane five, butterfly 400 lane five. I'm like, butterfly 400 lane five. Yeah, 400. I can't even do 400 inches of butterfly. But because I was so embarrassed and in my Speedo, I decided to just let it fly. I thought, well, I'll just get in the pool and when they blow the little starting gun,

when they hit the starting gun, I'll just stay. I'll stay there. Did you plan to just stay? Well, no. Then I decided, okay, I got to at least give it a try, right? And I didn't even make it 50. I didn't make it 50 and the guys were already done with the thing.

And luckily I was able to get out of the pool at that point. Green, out of the water. Oh. Oh, poor baby. It's swimming day. Oh, my swimming day. They called me the flop. They called me the flop.

Get out of the pool, Green! Alright coach, from then on it was backstroke, freestyle, and occasionally the breaststroke, but I was just a lane filler. I wouldn't win anything. I think at one time I was like number 498. They would rank you too. I was like 498 in the state for like 50 breaststroke. You know, 10 to 11 year olds. Yeah, 10 to 11 year olds. I think that's because there were only 499 swimmers.

Right. Well, you weren't last. No, that's true. I wasn't last I like to go to Brightside I think the other kid was my twin brother He was actually a good swimmer he's actually good swimmer he won a couple of ribbons I'm not I'm not angry about it though. I'm not angry. Don't worry about it. No bitterness. That's all good. No bitterness whatsoever. All right, two, one, two, four, three, three. Three, eight, two, two. Two, one, two, four, three, three, three, two, three, left, right, right, right, left, left, right,

right, left, left, left. Get that phone number, text us, call us. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, communicate with us. How do you expect this relationship to work if we're not communicating? Let us know if you want to be on the 12 hours of TCB coming up May 31st.

Celebrating five years of the commercial break, six seasons, and raising awareness about mental health. Hours. Yes, hours. And that guy who thinks Chad GBT told him it was the second coming of Christ. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok, and YouTube.com. Slash The Commercial Break. For all the episodes on video, the same day they air here on the audio, TCB YouTube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they're here on the audio TCB podcast.com all the comings and goings of the commercial break and your free sticker rate us on Apple and Spotify if you would if you could if you should all right

Chrissy that's all I can do for today I'll tell you that I love you I'll say best to you best to you out there in the podcast universe until next next time, Christy and I will say, we do say and we must say, goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. Thank you. you