The Commercial Break - Just Tryna Find Love
Episode Date: June 25, 2024Surprise! Today you get a little treat: a regular episode! Bryan & Krissy giggle their way through the perils of the world. No Infomercial today! Insure Bryan’s hands Plastic fruit (scary) The M...ariana Trench?? The Quantum Witch returns (slay) Sometimes the show just isn't good, and that's not our fault! Those people… Clubhouse Brutal tweets about us Google gemini really said nah Bryan airing me (Producer Christina) out because I air him out in the show notes 72 year old Bill Belichick is dating a 23 year old (BARF) Krissy with the Below Deck reference MILF Manor crossing the line LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us 212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A. Producer: Gustavo B. Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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trying to tell me pirates have a leg that's just for pegging.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Trying to find love.
I'm just trying to find love. I'm 72 years old and I'm just trying to find love with my neighbor's 17 year old son. What's wrong with that? The The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.
Yeah, boy.
Oh, yeah, cats and kittens.
Welcome back to the Commercial Break.
I'm Brian Green.
This is the Miz to my Riz.
Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris and-
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
How the hell are you?
Thanks for joining us.
You're welcome.
Hey, well, you had to be here.
You're contractually obligated.
Talking about all the people who aren't well, you had to be here.
You're contractually obligated.
Talking about all the people
who aren't contractually obligated to be here,
which quite frankly surprises me a whole bunch
that anybody's here.
Absolutely does.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We certainly do appreciate it, dear listener.
Do us one more favor.
Show up to one of our shows in Florida
so that someone appears.
So that there's someone in the audience. October 25th.
Dearest Gentle Listener.
Dearest Gentle Listener.
September 25th, 26th.
I better get that right now.
Yes.
September 25th and September 26th.
925, 926.
Nine times.
925 in Orlando, 926 in Tampa.
You will not be disappointed
or you will be highly disappointed,
but I guarantee disappointed will be
in the vocabulary you use when you leave the show.
You'll be like, ah, I am not disappointed.
They said mediocre and they did it.
Yeah, come with low expectations
and then that's when you always leave on a high note.
Hopefully. It's kind of like this Trump debate this week, this Trump and Biden debate.
I have zero expectations for either of them and I'm sure they're going
to be met. And they have a mute button. I saw that. I was laughing about that. You know what?
I give it a 10% chance that Trump actually shows up. 10% chance. Yeah, I don't even know why they're doing it.
I bet the day before he just says, I don't need to debate this guy. He's an
old man and I don't want to debate him. He's going to find a way to get out of it. Because with the
mute button off, he's what, I mean, what's his gig then? Like when he lets people actually speak,
I don't know. But then maybe Biden should take that as pennies from heaven. Anyway, tune that
in if you're all about it. Well, it's a Tuesday and we're usually here on a Tuesday doing a TCB infomercial, but
we're taking a little siesta from the guest.
Just this week, we had Des Bishop last week and we're just taking a little break because
of the way our recording schedule goes.
We're taking some vacation time.
So we're taking a break.
We're just going to do a regular episode here.
So I'm sure you're happy about that or not happy about that. Or disappointed it's somewhere in there. Happy is going to do a regular episode here. So I'm sure you're happy about that, or not happy about that.
Or disappointed is somewhere in there.
Happy is going to be somewhere in that word. Happy or not happy, one of those two things is
happening. Hey, I wanted to ask you about this. Have you seen Jack Osborne? Do you know Jack
Osborne is? Okay. Jack Osborne, son of Ozzy's son. They also do a podcast where they talk about all
kinds of shit. Oh, they do?
Yeah, they do.
God, everybody's got one.
Everyone has a podcast.
It's surprising that anybody listens to any podcast because I think there's enough podcasts.
They have one per person.
There's one podcast per person living on this earth.
I'm sure of it.
I agree.
And they're all in the comedy category.
It's comedy or true crime, one of those two.
Comedy, true crime, or...
Self-help. Self-help. That's right.
Self-help is one of those big ones too. But Jack Osborne, and this came to my attention
because of Jack Osborne on his podcast, or on their podcast. He said that his wife had
gone to Whole Foods, she grabs a stack of blueberries, like a packet of blueberries, and they are cleaning
the blueberries and then some of them fall into the sink accidentally, as blueberries
can do.
Oh yeah, every time.
Every time I wash the blueberries.
When I buy blueberries, I know I'm going to eat half of them and the other half are going
to be on the floor, in my daughter's diaper, or in down the drain.
One of the two.
Exactly.
Or in the trash, because I look at that one
and I go, ah, not that one.
But so his wife was making some kind of something
and she grabs the blueberries,
washes them in the pack as a lot of us do.
And because they got holes in the bottom,
the water drips out.
They're meant to be washed out like that.
And she drops a few in the disposal or in the sink.
And then she turns on the disposal
and when she turns on the disposal,
she notices a weird sound
So she sticks her hand in there, which by the way cleaning your disposal out with your hand
Yeah, it's something we've all done, but it's a terrible idea
It really is
I make sure that everyone is 15 feet out of the kitchen before I clean my disposal and on occasion
I have actually flipped the breaker. Yeah, I don't want that accident.
No, I get the packets that you just throw down there
with some hot water and that'll clean it.
But the only time I do reach down in there
as if there's a loud clanking,
the fork has escaped down in there accidentally.
Yes.
Something you have to pull it out.
Once, twice, sometimes three times a year,
there is some kind of utensil
or something that has gotten stuck down there where it just doesn't move.
So I've come to know two things.
Is that one, if you get a knife or a screwdriver
or you stick your hand down there,
a lot of times you can dig whatever that is out,
but you have to be, everybody has to be clear
of the button, right?
Clear of the switch.
So sometimes when it's a little crowded in the kitchen,
I'll even turn off the breaker,
because I just, I don't know.
It's like one of those weird nightmarish fuel things that I have
in my head that my hand's going to get chopped off by a disposal because these fingers, these
fingers play guitar like a beautiful angel. And I have yet to bestow that gift upon anybody.
Except for Astrid. And notice, I haven't played too much guitar since that first time I played
guitar.
Well, he switched it up for the piano.
That's right. I was playing my piano. Yeah, these hands should be insured by like Lloyds
of London or something. So she throws a couple. Oh, and the second thing I want to say about
the disposal is there's a tool you can get at Home Depot where you go up under it and
there's a little lug nut type thing under the bottom and you can use that tool to twist it and it pops the top of the whatever, that blade.
The rotator.
It pops it up so that you can go then and dig it out.
Right, Blue?
Got it.
Right.
Ten to four.
Fucking dog, swear to God.
God.
Right, Blue?
Yeah.
Got it.
So, she throws a couple of the blueberries down there, turns on the disposal, here's a weird noise,
goes rooting around for whatever is down there, and what she pulls out is the blueberry.
And the blueberry has been making like a weird clanking plastic sound,
like something plastic is in the disposal.
Oh.
And so she picks it up and it's like, altogether, it's like a blueberry.
And so then Jack goes and tries
to cut it and he has a hard time cutting into it. And when he does cut into it, it's hard.
It's like a piece of plastic. It's like a plastic blueberry.
What?
And so Jack is like freaking out about this on his podcast. And this is just a clip I
saw, by the way. I haven't heard the whole podcast, but it's just a clip. He's like freaking
out about this, this plastic food, they're putting some kind of weird membrane in the
food, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, well, that's the Osbournes, like, that's their thing.
Their angle is aliens and conspiracy theories and all this other stuff.
So I was like, okay, whatever.
Because Instagram and Facebook and all these other ones are all listening to us and watching
us at all times and feeding us whatever it is we think we like or we talk about. I then get a
series of reels from other people, not related to Osborne, not talking about Jack, not talking about
their podcast, that are like showing, showing that their fruit is like plastic. Now, I don't go down
the conspiracy rabbit hole too many times, but now I'm seeing with my own two eyes that one lady peeled a banana and they couldn't break it. They like, couldn't
break it. It was like, they went like this, almost bending it in half, like you would
like a really hard piece of plastic and it would not break. And then there's a lady with,
I don't know what it was, it was a strawberry or something. And then there's another lady
who's with the bananas. There's like multiple reels out there that are getting hundreds of thousands of
views showing the plastic, what they're calling plastic fruit. And some have come from Whole
Foods, some have come from Costco, which, you know, you might not expect from Costco.
And some are coming just from the local grocery store that these people are in. Plastic fucking fruit. And so, some people have speculated, theorized that this is a type of substance that
they spray on the fruit to make it shiny and waxy, which we've all known that for a long time. They
spray it on the apples and they spray it on other fruits to make it look shinier and more appealing.
But I didn't think it could like saturate the entire fruit and make it plastic. But I guess
if it's like sitting right under the sprayer, maybe it just gets inundated
with these like, I don't know, carbon nanofiber.
Well now do you need to check the, your check?
Quantum physics!
Quantum!
Do you need to check your fruit now like you check the eggs?
Here I am.
Like at the store?
Yeah, here I am.
Letting my children guzzle fruit. I mean, guzzle it like strawberries,
blueberries, blackberries. They do not stay at this house for longer than half a day
because my kids love them. And I'm so proud of myself. I'm like, wow, that is wonderful.
Of course, they also love a double cheeseburger from McDonald's, but I'm like, oh my God,
that's amazing. My kids love fruit. They ask for it by name. I'm really happy about that. I feel really good about it. And now I'm starting to wonder whether or not they're just
putting some toxic chemical in the fruit that makes them want it more like they do the french
fries at McDonald's or something like that. I mean, it's so weird. What can you trust anymore?
If a blackberry isn't a blackberry, what are we doing? How are we doing this?
Danielle Pletka I don't know. I try and get organic.
Jared Sautner You know, when you go to Whole Foods, I think you expect that you're getting
something a little bit better quality than say, I don't know.
Amazon owns them now though.
Yeah, it's true. Yeah, it's true.
That bezos.
I don't know about the quality.
You have to look for the organic.
You know, let me pick.
That's a little safety measure.
It's a little tiny safety measure, but organic to me just means a lot more expensive.
And you know, I've read about how like kind of organic
is a little bit of a scam.
Like you only have to do certain things.
Well, organic, I think they have to be certified organic.
That's a rigorous process.
Now that like the all natural,
where it says like all natural and cage free
and different terms that these-
Cage free, grass fed grass. Grass fed grass. Grass fed grass. natural and cage-free and different terms that these to make you think.
Cage-free, grass-fed, grass.
Grass-fed, grass.
Grass-fed, grass.
Cage-free.
Yeah, some of those terms.
But I think organic is pretty a strict certification process.
Don't know.
I've heard people say yes, and I've heard plenty of people say that are like in the
industry.
I've watched documentaries where they're like, not really.
Kind of, but not really.
It just means that you use less pesticides
or all natural pesticides,
which are probably just as bad for you.
All right, well, I'm fooling myself.
But I myself have never experienced this before.
No, I haven't either.
And I don't think you're fooling yourself.
I think that there is reason to buy organic, certainly. But I But I'm not sure it's like, it's like the all in we think it is. We say
this magic words like fat free. Well, fat free is probably twice as unhealthy for you as actual
fat or sugar free. I mean, does anybody really think Coke Zero tastes like that? Because it's
got really great ingredients in it. I mean, come on. It's kind of like this number one ingredient
is like xanthan. I don't even know what xanthan is. Cool word, dude. But I don't know what that is. It is like a red dye,
number seven and five. I mean, you can use Coca-Cola to take the paint off of a car.
Jared Liesveld And clean your toilet.
Jared Liesveld And clean your toilet. Oh, I get those all the time, you know, cleaning your
toilet and what you can use soda for. And there are so many things in your world that you can just not get clean,
like pink scum in your shower. That's like the most, apparently, one of the most dangerous
types of neurotoxins to humans is that pink scuzz that you get, like when your mold turns
pink inside your shower. Do you know what I'm saying?
Well, I thought you can just get that off with some vinegar.
Not according to some people on Instagram, who I trust way more than any of those experts
you're talking about.
I just used this the other day.
Yeah.
Well, someone says, put a little Coke Zero in there and watch it dissipate because Coke
Zero can kill anything on the planet except for Tammy from My 100, 600 Pound Sisters or
whatever, apparently.
So piggybacking off of this a little bit.
Christy Pesci.
What's that?
Piggy fronting.
Thank you, Chrissy.
I keep on forgetting that we're on a mission to tear Teresa Caputo down one episode of
the time.
Piggy fronting off of that.
You know, you think about Jeff Bezos owning Whole Foods and Washington Post and Amazon
and all this other stuff. I do not
argue with capitalism because it works as well as any other system that's been in place.
Lauren Ruffin Sure.
Jeff Bezos And it's got a lot of downfalls and there's a lot of windfalls that come with that.
Jeff Bezos and all of these incredibly rich human beings that seem to be consolidating everything
at the top, you know, argue with it, don't argue with it. That's a conversation for a different show. But I think about these people and I
wonder, do they really have the best interest of anybody except for themselves at heart
at the end of the day? No. You don't want to know why? Because none of us do at the
end of the day. We're all just trying to figure out what's best for us. And if we can do a
few kind things for other people along the way, then we probably pat ourselves on the back, right? I watched this 60-minute special
on the bottom of the area. The area is the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean. It's almost
three miles down.
Jared Lieberman Oh, that the trash swirl?
Jared Lieberman Not the trash swirl.
Jared Lieberman Okay.
Jared Lieberman But that's terrible in and of itself. We can spend a whole other episode on
that. What I watched is that between California, between San Diego and Hawaii, there is some of the deepest ocean in the world. There's no sunlight. It reaches zero degrees
Celsius in some cases down there. You get the weird creatures. They think there might be 6000
species living down there, and they have only discovered like 57 of them, right? So, it's
like one of the most remote places on earth. Very little of it has been discovered,
has been mapped, has been understood by any scientist. However, leave it up to the
capitalists to figure out that at the very bottom of the ocean, little pieces of bone from dinosaurs,
millions or billions of years ago, little pieces of bone or organic matter would fall
to the bottom of the ocean to sit on the sediment floor. And when they did that, then little
tiny pieces of metal would start to accumulate on them at the rate of one centimeter per
million years. Think about that. One centimeter per million years and they turn into these
little black balls of metal and they're around encased
Encasing these boats. Okay
Nickel iron ore coal balls. Oh, yes. Yes. I did. Yeah, so they're mining it now
Well, they're trying to yeah and in some places on the ocean floor
It's apparent these little black balls are the size of like a baseball in most cases. And apparently, on some parts of the ocean floor, it's like cobblestone streets full of these little black
balls. Tens and tens of millions of them. It has taken billions of years for them to get there.
And what lives on them? All kinds of organisms inside them, on them, around them, whole ecosystems
around these little black balls, what they call a battery in a ball.
Yeah.
Right? Okay. Because these metals are more precious than gold. Why? Because everybody
is trying to transition into clean energy, and in order to really make it happen, the
batteries have to get better because they're just no good right now. They're not good.
Ask Tesla drivers who are in Chicago who have to leave their car in the middle of the fucking
highway because the batteries don't work
When it gets minus two degrees, which it does every fucking winter in Chicago
It's like you just have to find a better battery something that lasts longer that holds a charge better
Quantum
Quantum, baby
I think the Quantum Witch would know
Yes, Chrissy
If you take some dinosaur bones and you take a little bit of earth
sediment and then you put some Ozzy Osborne in there for good measure. Wham! Battery in a ball.
It's quantum magic. I've solved all your problems. All you have to do is go three miles down under the freezing cold ocean and pick
them up like the little baseballs that they are. Quantum magic.
Throw them up.
Yes. Maybe that airplane that disappeared can find them for us. They're still alive
at the bottom of the ocean collecting magic balls. Wabam. It's magic.
Quantum stuff.
Quantum magic, yes.
Figures everything.
Quantum batteries, they're all the rage.
That's right.
Yes, take some coal ball, a little iron ore,
two billion years worth of evolution
and destroy it in a month.
Wabam!
All of our problems are solved.
Now you can search for your incest porn, your stepsister screw stepbrother porn, 7.7 times
faster with your brand new cobalt battery that I mined from the bottom of the ocean.
I unleashed aliens.
Possums.
What?
Ah!
No possums.
That was a mistake.
I want to put that one back in the can, back
in the cauldron. Put the top on the possum cauldron. No more! Oh, scary! That's an example
of AI and quantum physics gone wrong! So, this guy, the battery guy or whatever he's calling himself, the battery guy or some wild
American, it looks like, I don't know, Stephen Colbert did a whole thing on this and you
should go watch it.
Oh yeah.
Not Stephen Colbert, John Oliver.
John Oliver, yeah.
Did a whole thing on this and you should go watch it because it's really very interesting.
I always want to call him Colbert too for some reason.
Yeah, I know, all of them.
All the white middle-aged men. They're all, like, all of us. I say them.
Like, it's them. It's us. They all, I mean, I know they're different, but for some reason
I do lump them in together. It doesn't help that they did a podcast together for like,
you know, six months or so. Maybe they still do it. I'm not sure.
Well, and John, well, John Oliver was on the daily show.
He was.
Which also Colbert.
Yeah, that's true.
Was on. So yeah.
John Stewart, John Colbert, John Stewart, John Oliver, and Stephen Colbert.
They're all the same person.
Yes.
Anyway, so this guy is going to, this guy is trying to tell this group of nations that basically monitor what they literally call
the area, he's trying to convince them that he can send these machines down and do little
disturbance to the bottom of the ocean and mine all of these battery balls. The problem
is they don't even know what's down there. First of all, second of all, they have no idea how it's going to impact the ocean.
Third of all, have we learned no lessons yet?
I mean, I agree with you, battery in a ball sounds cool.
If that means that like, you know, it's a for sure done deal,
the earth is going to be cleaner and everyone, you know,
pollution troubles are going to disappear and we'll all of a sudden have the magic.
I don't know, the magic that we need to make it all run. Wonderful, but there is sudden have the magic, I don't know, the magic that we
need to make it all run, wonderful, but there is no silver bullet here, I don't think. And I'm just
saying, I'm not convinced either way, but that John Oliver report, and I know he skews a certain
way, but that John Oliver report sure does, when I watch the guy who's the CEO of this company,
I go, does he have anybody's interest at heart except for his at the end of the day?
He wants to be famous.
He wants to be the billionaire.
He wants to be the savior of the world.
Look how many billionaires we have that have savior complexes already, and we don't need
them.
We just don't need them.
They're fucking kooks that are solving no problems whatsoever, and they consolidate
power and money at the top.
I'm not arguing about capitalism.
I'm arguing about the personalities who consolidate so much power. And when you
see this guy, he is an A-class double douche. That's what he is. He's the kind of guy who
gets arrested in the Hamptons for drunk driving. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
And all I got to say is like him, don't like him. I'm sure he's a lovely guy at a dinner
party or whatever, but, and he's got an interesting story to tell about how he can make everything
go, all our problems go away just by mining these golf balls. But at the end of the day,
it like-
Nicole Soule-001 Have they gotten one?
Chris McGrath Yeah. Oh yeah, they, yeah, yeah. People have them.
Nicole Soule-001 They got them.
Chris McGrath Yeah. Scientists have studied them, you know, as much as they have, right? It's not
like a, you know, it's hard to get three miles down in the ocean.
Nicole Soule-001 Well, yeah, now it is.
Chris McGrath Ask those people in that submarine how that went. You know what I'm saying?
Nicole Soule-001 Yeah.
Chris McGrath Still trying to get over that went. You know what I'm saying?
Still trying to get over that one. So, all I gotta say is, we should probably just like, slow down for a second. Like, slow down for a second before we decide to go mining, you know,
450,000 square miles of the ocean that has yet to even be like, scientifically studied in any
kind of way, shape or form. Maybe we should just like slow down for a second and then figure out if this is really the panacea that this guy in
particular thinks it is before we do that because are we just like fucking another generation of human beings?
Yeah, I know.
We got to have a new Tesla or Rivian or, you know, GMC plug-in hybrid model. I don't know.
I don't know. The answer to that, by the way, where do we think we're getting all of this electricity from anyway? It's from coal burning fossil fuel
plants, which drives me crazy. It's like the other thing, it's like no one thinks about
where that actual electricity is coming from. We should have stuck with nuclear. That's
what I got to say. We should have nuclear plants in every state in this country and
we should all just be getting nuclear power because that's it. But, you know, now they have quantum, quantum, quantum fission.
Fusion and fission, do you know the difference? Either do I. I ask my quantum computer.
Fission is when it fizzes. Fusion is when it fuses.
Fusion is when it fizzes. Fusion is when it fuses. But one of them is easy to do and one of them quite hard. And whichever one that is, they're working on it. That much I know.
Okay, good.
See, I can sound like a real dumbass with this voice. And it's funny.
Yes.
I found Reddit posts last night about us.
I'm not gonna read them.
I didn't even wanna send you the Reddit.
It's good for like the first three comments
and then it goes out.
I was laughing about our reviews because,
you know, you get that weekly digest you know that shows which I was
Surprised to see that we were somehow charting in South Korea under the gaming
gaming gaming
That's so weird
So anyways, I was looking at it and showed some reviews
and it's so funny because it's just like, you know,
these two, what the fuck?
They had all these good stars.
So I did it, listen, they're dumb, we don't like them.
The next one's like, you guys, I'm so great.
It's like, it's literally one in one.
Yeah, but let me share with you, I think a little bit
about why I think the Apple know. I know. Yeah, but let me share with you, I think, a little bit about why I think the Apple reviews
are like this.
I think when we first start, no one's paying attention.
The only people who are giving us reviews are people that are really like caught us
at this.
I'm talking about the beginning of the show, first year, are friends, family, or people
who may have a vested interest in seeing us do well, right?
And so call that the first 10 or 20 reviews.
Then as we get deeper into the show, the reviews get further and further, like, fewer and further
between, but most of them are rather nice, you know, funny show, very, you know, interesting
and funny or whatever.
But then you get into like year number two and a half, and then you're starting to get
like new people to the show. And one person says one thing shitty and the next person says something.
I take that as a sign that the show is growing and it's real.
I know. Well, I'm like, it's not for everyone. I mean, I just want to write that to the naysayers.
What this have to do with battering a ball? I have no idea, but okay. Cool, dude.
How did we get on that?
I don't know, but get there, Brian, get there. Get there. That should be the new tagline.
Just get there.
Just get there. I mean, I agree. The show is, sometimes it's just not good, but what
can I do?
I know. You know, yeah, we put out so many.
Yeah, guys. But it's just not good, but what can I do? You know, yeah, we put out so many. Yeah, guys.
It's hard.
Think about a baseball game or a football game or a hockey game or whatever sport you're
fucking into.
Think of Rory McElroy, one of the quote unquote best golfers around, can't hit a two foot
putt the same as life on any given Sunday.
Either can we.
It's just the same.
It's like, we're going to be okay to you sometimes.
Sometimes you're not going to be into it. And sometimes you're going to think it's just the same. It's like, we're gonna be okay to you sometimes, sometimes you're not gonna be into it,
and sometimes you're gonna think it's rip roaring hilarious.
I don't know what days those are,
but send them to me when you find them.
Point them out, will you?
They don't end in Y.
I know, but now our reviews are like,
I'd call it one third.
It's funny.
It's one third, these guys are assholes,
what are you fucking talking about?
And then another two thirds.
It's entertaining, I really enjoy them.
Yeah, the reviews enjoy them. Yeah. The reviews. Yeah. I Googled it. Like the new AI Gemini came out, Google Gemini or whatever.
Oh yeah. Yeah. The new search function. And I, that's why I, same results in a pretty little
package. Congratulations Google, you did nothing.
I still haven't even tried any of that stuff I need to get on it.
Well you can just go, if you have the updated version on your phone, it'll use Gemini.
I don't have the original version.
Oh, well then there you go. Chrissy's using her Blackberry.
Is it just a Google search?
That's it, Google search. And now it uses what is called Gemini, which is AI functionality.
There's a lot more to it than search.
But anyway, so I was searching and then I'm going down, I'm just scrolling down, scrolling
down, same, you know, same things you always see.
It's five million different podcast players that claim that they're the home of the commercial
break and blah, blah, blah.
That's funny.
Yeah.
And then I saw like multiple people are selling, multiple websites are selling the show.
Want to advertise on the commercial break? Contact us here. And I'm like,
wow. Yeah, I would argue, but I'm like, yeah, you want to buy? Go to those guys.
Somehow they'll get here, I guess. They'll let us know, I suppose.
That's funny. Oh my gosh.
But Odyssey is the home of the commercial break, just to be clear about that. But anyway,
so then I get down to like, you know, page number two, and it's Reddit posts. And I was like, oh, some of them
almost a year old, and then some of them more newer. But I thought to myself, oh, shit, if we're in
the Reddit territory, I was hoping to stay off Reddit for the entirety of the podcast, but I
guess eventually it was bound to catch up with us. Jared, Jared, and Jared laugh. Jared, I need to look.
Jared, Ugh. Anyway, watch out for your fruit and, uh-
Battery balls.
Battery balls. Good idea, bad idea, don't know. But that's the point, don't know.
Let's try and figure it out before we decide to destroy 450,000 square miles of our earth.
Oh my God, we just got to think a little bit, think a little bit. And whether, whatever side
of that debate you're on, like good for the earth, bad for the earth, you know, humans cause warming,
humans don't cause warming, whatever side you're on, you're an idiot. But if, okay,
whatever side you're on, I think we can all agree, like just, you know, don't go fast and break
things. Why don't we go slow and figure out how we do it best? That's my opinion.
I agree.
All right, let's take a break and then we'll be back and we'll talk more about those
Reddit posts. We'll be back.
Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let
you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB.
And you can text us anytime you want.
Or you can call and leave us a voicemail
and we might just use your message on the show.
Once Brian gets through all the messages
he missed last year, of course.
Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram
at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast.
And of course, all of our audio and video
is easily found on tcbpodcast.com.
Now I'm gonna thank G one more time that we have sponsors, so thank people trust Rosetta Stone.
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as an app.
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It's Sophia Franklin.
And if you don't already know, listen up.
My mini series is live now each and every Monday.
And the only person missing is you.
We're dating, we're dumping, we're learning, and we're tapping into all
the feels that originally brought us together. Listen and follow Sophia with an F on the
Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts.
All right. So, Gemini AI spits out all these results. And then I'm going down the
list. I get to like the second page or something like that. And I noticed this Reddit post.
And the Reddit post starts off like this. I can only see it in the search. Now remember,
I haven't clicked through to Reddit yet. I'm looking at it on the search page. And it says,
caught an episode of this podcast. And they talked about that podcast, the commercial
break podcast, absolutely hilarious.
You guys should check them out.
Now, there's only a couple of replies.
I think there's like four, five, something like that, replies.
I am laying in bed.
It's like 1230 at night.
Nicole Soule-Northam With your bed pillow.
Jared Suellenthal Yeah, with my bed pillow.
That's right.
And I'm doing my nightly searches of me to make sure that I'm
as important as I think I am. And, you know, that's so stupid. The thing I use AI for most,
tell me about the commercial break podcast. I swear to God.
Lauren Ruffin Putting it to good use.
Jared Sautner Yeah, I don't know what it's all about. I'm just trying to figure it all out.
And so then I click through, boink! I click through to the page
and here it is. So this guy has this nice little paragraph, right? A guy, I assume, based on his,
I won't even say his pen name or whatever you call it.
His Reddit name.
His Reddit name. It says, you know, heard about this podcast on that podcast,
the commercial break podcast is really funny and hilarious. I actually found it
quite delightful or whatever he said, you know, you should check it out. Yeah. And so the next person- Thank you. Yes, thank you. podcast. The commercial break podcast is really funny and hilarious. I actually found it quite
delightful or whatever he said, you know, you should check it out.
Yeah.
And so the next person, yes, thank you.
Reddit person.
Reddit guy10333. So the next guy or girl says, I see them everywhere, haven't checked it
out. I'll have to give it a listen. And the next person responds-
Did they see our billboards?
Yeah, they probably did. In Des Moines, Iowa, at three in the morning on Highway 585.
Right.
Check me out.
Catch me outside.
So the next, so the third one down is like, yeah, I heard this show a year or so ago.
It was funny sometimes, but I didn't put it, it's not on my regular list of shows,
I'll have to go check it out again, right?
And then bring in the last guy or girl, I'm assuming guy, you know, average age, 33 years
old, you know, wearing a, I don't know, sandals.
You know the type, Chrissy.
Those guys.
Those guys, the kind of people who wear shoes to work.
Closed-toed shoes.
Closed-toed shoes.
The kind of people who have bank accounts and can take nice vacations to Indianapolis.
Their credit card works.
Their credit card's turned on.
Those kind of people.
The kind of people who don't have to silence their phone because of bill collectors.
You know, those kind of people. Not me, those people. It says, read your post, checked out 15 minutes, almost threw up in my
mouth, never again. Your taste in podcasts is terrible. Perfect. Perfect. I think I'm going to put that as our new slogan.
Yes, please. Almost threw up in my mouth. Your taste in podcasts is terrible.
Yeah, please put that. Don't we have some of those on our homepage, like of our website
where we have a few reviews? You should put that one.
I think one of them is from like my mom.
Your dad.
Oh, Brian's so funny. And then the other one is like, Brian needs to get a real job.
I told him to get a real job, which is true, by the way. He does tell me that every once in a while.
He's like, are you sure about this podcast thing?
I mean, it's good and everything, but are you sure?
Well, my stepmom's sitting there just like,
what a fucking idiot.
What a fucking moron.
I know, my dad still thinks it's a video blog or something.
Yeah, my mom's still trying to tune it in on the radio.
Yeah, he's like, you're headed around as well, see?
Yeah, okay. All right. Well, let me know.
Don't you not ask me for money?
Yeah. Oh, she will be, Mr. Hoadley.
That day is coming soon, Mr. Hoadley. Don't you worry.
I'm afraid one of these days I'm going to get a phone call from your dad or from Jeff, like I'm a controlling, abusive
husband. Just let her go, man. Just let her go. You could just let her go. No harm, no
foul.
She's never going to leave on her own.
Yeah, she's never going to leave on her own. Just tell her, sorry, it didn't work out. Like, I gotta move on. It's not my fault. It's
your fault. It's your fault. It's my fault. Have the breakup talk with her now. Just don't break
her heart, okay? You already broke her piggy bank. Don't break her heart.
Nicole Soule-Northam Oh no, we're doing this. To which I would reply, I'll do it for $1,000.
Here's my cell.
Sorry, Chrissy, you're off the show.
We needed the thousand.
Oh, yeah, but you know, you get into Reddit territory, that's a different animal altogether.
Now, Reddit is more demure than some of those other, I like, I have way back when the show started,
when we were on Clubhouse a lot. And I did gain-
That bustling community.
Oh, that bustling community of human beings that all died at the same time, I guess.
Everybody had a funeral on the same day. That thing, I mean, we've talked, we talked about this a
couple of weeks ago, but that thing literally turned off like a light switch.
Yeah, it was huge.
Overnight it went away. Overnight it went away.
I mean, it's not away, it's still there, but I don't know what it does now. It's like,
leave a voice message, call you back later. It's like leaving voice messages for people.
It's really stupid and strange. And you know, and now on Clubhouse, they only have
And, you know, now on Clubhouse, they only have active rooms, like once every two or three hours, which back in the heyday, there was a new room every second of the day. Someone was opening up
a new room, and there would be hundreds and hundreds of people in some of these rooms,
thousands of people in some of these rooms. But, you know, I never forget the night that Joe Rogan
came on, and I just happened to be in the room when he was.
And when he came on, he was there for maybe 15 minutes, and he sounded so skeptical, and
he said it out loud.
He's like, yeah, well, you know, someone asked him, is Clubhouse the new podcasting?
You know, some dumb shit question, you know, they said Clubhouse is the new podcasting,
what do you think?
And he's like, well, I don't think so.
I think this is a little bit trendy, and you know and I'm not sure what will come of it, but I'm not rushing
to get on Clubhouse and replace the podcast if that's what you're asking. He sounded so skeptical
of it. And I...
Yeah, because you even talked about like, should we do the podcast on Clubhouse?
Well, we did a couple of times, but unfortunately, it was right at the demise of Clubhouse,
so no one showed up.
That's right. I forgot. Just like our live shows, September 25th and 26th,
the 25th in Orlando and the 26th in Tampa. Come on down, be the first.
I'm going to put on the website, buy tickets, be the first. Sometimes I say limited tickets,
going hot, hot. Only a few left. Only a few left, sold out. Ardys is going to say, limited tickets, going hot, hot, you know. Only a few left.
Only a few left.
Sold out.
Artists is going to say, be the first.
I'm sure the promoter is going to love that.
So back when Clubhouse was a thing, you know, I had some followers, like I did a
lot of rooms and so I amassed a little following over there.
It was worth nothing, apparently. I was thinking I was going to be able to sell my page and all that.
They're going to buy my followers for a million dollars.
It's going to be crazy.
Coca-Cola is going to sponsor every room.
I'm going to be a millionaire.
I do remember this talk.
I've got over 2,000 followers.
Look out.
There you go.
Look out, There you go!
Look out, Leah Lamar, I'm coming for you!
Nothing...
Nothing shined so brightly.
I don't want to bust on Leah, because I know she's a nice person, but nothing shined so brightly in the clubhouse ethos as Leah Lamar. I talk about her all the time.
That poor girl.
That poor girl.
I mean, she was like the belle of the ball.
And then where did she go?
She's nowhere.
She was like opening up for Dane Cook in Las Vegas.
And now I don't know what she's doing.
Now she's cooking for Dane Cook in Las Vegas, I think. I don't know. I don't know. I'm sure she's still out there. I love
Leah. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I like Leah. The few interactions I had with
her were fine. They were fine. She was fine.
Oh, the clubhouse days.
Clubhouse days. We thought we were so important.
Oh no. Oh no. We thought we were so important.
One person, one time got a sponsored room, made like $5,000.
They had to split 12 ways with 17 people on stage.
And we were all like, here comes the waterfall of cash.
Sorry, honey, I know it's three in the morning and you're nine months pregnant, but I got
to get on Clubhouse.
Listen, can you do the C-section by yourself?
Lea Lamar's in the comedy room and she's gonna bring me on stage to say nothing.
Nothing!
Lea Lamar would bring me on stage every afternoon.
I never said anything.
It's a waterfall of cash. I'm literally
going to get a million dollars for just being in the same room as Leila Lomar. It's crazy,
babe. I'm telling you, this is the future for our kids. Two months later. Well, honey.
We're pivoting.
Yeah. Why is this strange man in all the pictures with the birth of our child?
Oh, and I had to find somebody, you asshole.
You remember?
You had to be in the afternoon delight comedy room in Clubhouse.
I know, but I love you.
Oh my God.
All right.
So, I amassed this little following.
People are like, get there, Brian.
Get there.
Okay, settle down.
You know it.
There's a reason why some people think the show is terrible and I'm the reason.
So just stick with me, okay?
All right.
So I amassed this little following and then I'll never forget one day I woke up and somebody had texted
me from Clubhouse saying, you know, people are, somebody's tweeting about your show and there's
like a whole thread going on about this, right? And I was like, oh, okay, this is really exciting.
So I never forgot, I woke up, I told Astrid, I was like, oh, this is really exciting, you know,
this person sent me a link. So I opened it up. And it's not like, it's not people talking about
my show. It's like three people going back and forth, replying to each other's tweets
at that time about how terrible the commercial break is, just how terrible it is. And I mean,
they were being brutal, like brutal. They were
breaking down every bit of one of these episodes. And I never forget just thinking to myself,
don't even go down the rabbit hole.
No, you can't. You can't.
So, the couple, last night when I was doing this whole, you know, found this whole Reddit
thing, I know that there were other posts out there about the show, but I didn't even
go there. I was like, you know what, just don't go there. You're just going to make
yourself upset for no reason. It's just people out there. They don't, who fucking cares. You like the show, you like the show. You don't like the show, you don't like the show, but I didn't even go there. I was like, you know what? Just don't go there. You're just going to make yourself upset for no reason. It's just people out there. They don't fucking cares.
You like the show, you like the show. You don't like the show, you don't like the show.
Honestly, I'm too old to be worried about that kind of stuff.
I got a growing prostate and family and those two things keep me pretty busy.
Exactly.
That's all it is. That's all it is. But I do follow those reviews on Apple and I do think they're quite funny.
Actually, I think the ones...
It's just entertaining.
Yeah, I think the ones that are negative are the most entertaining.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, like these two sure do think they're funny.
As we're laughing at our own...
Oh, no.
As we're...
Yeah.
What is it?
Stuck on our own petard?
What is that? How do you say that?
Beth Paret
Petard.
Jared Petard, have you heard that saying? You got stuck on your own petard? Hold on one
second. I just heard that.
Beth Paret
Ask Gemini.
Jared Yeah, ask Gemini. Here, I'll ask Gemini. Hold on one second. Google. Okay, here we
go. We're going to use Gemini here, live on the first thing. We are the
first people to use Gemini live on a podcast, probably for good reason. What is the saying
that ends with, on your own petard?
The saying is, hoisted by one's own petard.
It means to be harmed or defeated by your own plan or scheme.
That's, that's, that tracks.
Okay, that tracks.
That was good.
Good for you, Gemini.
Yeah, thanks, Gemini.
Okay, here we go.
Ready?
Tell me about the commercial break comedy podcast.
I don't know if we want to even let this one fly.
Okay. Hold on. You broke it.
Break is a comedy podcast hosted by best friends, Brian Green and Chrissy Hoadley. They describe
their show as an improv comedy, interview and variety show that dives into our shared
insanity, pop culture, internet oddities,
relationship drama, dark humor, games, and listener feedback. If you're looking for
a podcast with a wacky sense of humor and a refreshing lack of filters, Commercial Break
is definitely worth checking out. You can find them on most podcast platforms or visit
their website, Commercial Break Podcast.
Wacking filters.
Hold on one second.
Do people think the commercial break comedy podcast is funny?
Question mark.
By people.
What do you mean?
The reviews for the commercial break are mixed.
Some creators love the host's wacky humor and find the show hilarious.
Others find it to be rambling and not funny at all. If you enjoy the commercial break,
depends on your sense of humor.
If you enjoy improv comedy and dark humor,
you might find it entertaining.
If you prefer more polished or scripted,
you might not be a fan.
If you prefer people to know what they're talking about,
you're probably not gonna be into this.
Even Gemini can't help themselves. Even Gemini thinks the commercial break is eh, eh. It's not for
everyone.
That's right.
Fuck you, Gemini. Fuck you. All right, let's take a break.
Oh, that's great. That is fantastic.
Quite frankly, I like ChatGBT better. They had a better review of the commercial break.
It said, it's not for everyone.
It said, even the hosts say it's not for everyone, but most people find it pleasant.
Something like that.
Oh well.
AI is going to destroy us all.
It just destroyed my...
Just gave me a bad day and a heartache.
All right, we'll be back.
Well thank the baby Jesus.
Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity
to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number.
That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB.
And you can text us anytime you want.
Or you can call and leave us a voicemail
and we might just use your message on the show.
Once Brian gets through all the messages
he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok
at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com.
Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are. All right.
As Christina would say, I can never pass up an opportunity to talk about an age gap relationship.
So that Christina, I'm telling you what.
We love her.
First of all, she calls me in a panic yesterday because she's reviewing the Dez Bishop episode. And in that, what you didn't
hear was there was like 12 minutes where we talked, 12 or 13 minutes where we were talking before
we get on air, just to pull the covers back a little bit. Wow, didn't the light just turn on?
It did.
That was weird. The camera adjusted and like my face got brighter. What you must know, I mean,
you must be dumb if you don't know this.
I probably shouldn't say that.
You must not have paid that much attention.
If you don't understand that what we do is we record the intros and the outros, but we
do that separately from the guest.
And so when the guest comes on, we actually talk to them for a few minutes and we say,
you know, pleasantries and then we say, okay, let's get started recording.
Yeah, it's more for technical reasons.
Yeah, just to make sure that the microphones are working and you know, how long, you know, pleasantries and then we say, okay, let's get started recording. Yeah, it's more for technical reasons. Yeah, just to make sure that the microphones are working and, you know, how long, you know,
what time you need to go and what would, you know, what's the most important thing you want to get
through all that other stuff. But it's not a very long time. We really do like, we kind of go cold
into it. A few minutes of talking cold into it. Some people we like, we just end up talking too
longer before we actually get on air and Des is one of those people and we had this long conversation
and one of the things that we said was, I go, Dez, I think it's
funny that in one of your reels lately, you said that you should be a talk show host,
but instead you're in your basement on a Tuesday recording a podcast, which it was, we recorded
on a Tuesday in his basement. So we were just laughing about this. And I said, well, you
know, don't worry about it. We're all struggling. We're all trying just laughing about this and I said, well, you know, don't
worry about it, we're all struggling, we're all trying to figure it out. You know, we're
wondering whether or not we can afford to pay for our new producer. And I was making
a joke, of course, and Christina's freaking out because she's like, is everything okay?
Because I heard that and like, and I'm like, no, Christina, of course, you're not going
anywhere. It was just a joke. It was improv. We were improv-ing. I was riffing. And she's like, okay. But then I noticed that Christina likes to,
her own sassy little attitude in the show notes, if you must know, Christina writes the show notes.
I know, I love it.
So, when you read them and we're essentially making fun of ourselves, it's not us making
fun of ourselves, it's Christina making fun of us because she disagrees with something we say or she
finds it an opportunity, time to make a joke about me.
Yeah. Chris and Brian don't know about the song that's very popular.
Yeah. They got this wrong. Yeah. Not right on that. This is gross. Why did you say that?
Old white man.
It's funny.
When I call myself an old white man and the show knows, it ain't me. But we love Christina.
She's not going anywhere, by the way.
No. And she does a great job. So-
Yes.
But one of the things she always says is Brian never misses an opportunity to talk about an age
gap relationship because I have an age gap relationship. If you must know, Astrid is
younger than I am and by a few years, like not by a small amount, by a few years, not 30 years,
but also not four years. So, it's somewhere in between.
Yeah. And so does Des and Hannah.
Yeah, so does Des and Hannah, and so that's why we were talking about it. So, on that same
road, I just found out about this a couple days ago, like I'm sure the rest of the earth did,
if you're even paying attention. Bill Belichick, remember Bill Belichick?
Yeah.
The very famous coach of the Patriots.
Of course.
He got let go or he left or whatever the situation was.
He interviewed for the Atlanta Falcons job.
The Atlanta Falcons did not make him extend him an offer.
I don't even know that.
To my understanding, he did.
No one, after Bill Belichick won like what?
Like seven Super Bowls or something like that?
Yeah, tons.
No one offered him a job.
Really? Yes, because apparently No one offered him a job. Really?
Yes, because apparently he's very difficult to work with
and he only knows one thing and that's training quarterbacks
and he does a very good job at that
or he did a good job at that once.
And so people were worried that, you know,
he's a little bit older, he's got a brash style,
he wants to be in complete control
and some owners just don't like that.
I don't know Bill Belichick,
don't know the guy from Hole in the Wall.
Plus isn't he a MAGA guy? I don't't know Bill Belichick, don't know the guy from Hole in the Wall, so I don't know. Beth Dombkowski Plus, isn't he a MAGA guy?
Jared Sifton I don't know.
Beth Dombkowski I don't know.
Jared Sifton Bill Belichick?
Beth Dombkowski I think so.
Jared Sifton I don't know. I'm just talking about the football.
Beth Dombkowski Okay.
Jared Sifton Okay. So.
Beth Dombkowski I'm just talking about football.
Jared Sifton He might be, he might not be. So, he started
dating this girl, Jordan Hudson, who is 23 years old. I think she's like a model, a bikini model or something
like that. Okay, so here, I'll read the story from you. Ready? Bill Belichick all smiles
with Jordan Hudson during first encounter. Bill Belichick was grinning from ear to ear
the day he met his now girlfriend, Jordan Hudson. You can check out the photo that TMZ has obtained
of the ex-New England coach, Nearly Giddy.
The pic was taken at some point during a February.
Nearly Giddy.
Nearly Giddy.
Not quite, but nearly.
If anybody has resting dick face, it's Bill Belichick.
He was Nearly nearly giddy.
His face was from, hmm.
The pic was taken at some point during a February 2021 flight after the future Hall of Famer had
sat next to Hudson as they were both headed to Boston from Florida. Our sources say at one point
during the trip, Belichick leaned in to inquire about some schoolwork Hudson, a college student at the time, had been working on, and they hit it off.
We're told the two talked about Hudson's deductive logic textbook for a while, and the conversation
was so good that Belichick ultimately autographed the inside cover of it. Along with his John
Hancock, Belichick gave her the half-hard. Oh my God. How much Cialis do you think Belichick
is on? The two at some point exchanged contact information. Our sources say they remained
friendly following the flight. Eventually, the 72-year-old Bill Belichick broke things
off with his longtime girlfriend, Linda Holl Holiday, as they became romantic. The two
have kept their relationship largely under wraps, although recently they've been seen together in
Croatia and at Tom Brady's Patriot Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Neither has commented on the
relationship publicly. Wait, so somebody snapped a picture of them on the plane? I think it looks like
she snapped the picture on the plane and then sent it somewhere. You know
what I'm saying?
Okay.
Okay. So here's Jordan Hudson. She's a, well, I mean, of course, she's 20, you know, at
the time, 21, 22 years old, a lovely girl, right?
Yes.
Lovely, beautiful girl. Not hard to see why Bill Belichick would think she's physically
attractive, have never heard her speak, don't have any firsthand knowledge about any of this,
about anything.
I don't even first have knowledge about anything.
But that is an age gap relationship.
Yes, it is.
But they've got deductive reasoning.
Deductive logic.
Deductive logic in common.
If you got that, what else do you need?
A lot of Cialis and I don't know, a walker here and there.
A bikini.
I'm not really sure.
Bikini.
Throw a little bikini.
Or lack of bikini.
And by the way, everyone's visiting Croatia these days.
My brother went to Croatia.
I know, I really wanna go.
It's supposed to be beautiful.
Kevin said it was one of the most beautiful places
he has ever been to.
He went to Montenegro.
He said that that was like fucking outrageously gorgeous.
And he was sending-
That's right there in the little Mediterranean area. It's next to-
Baltic area or something?
It's next to Italy. So-
Oh, it's next to Italy? Croatia is? Right next door?
Yeah.
Christy's like, I don't want to be wrong, but maybe?
I think so.
Okay. Let's see here.
I think it is. It's right in that little Mediterranean spoon.
Okay, good, good, good, Chrissy. Good description.
Thank you.
No, you're right. You're right. Well, it's not next door, but it's across the Mediterranean.
That's okay.
Yeah, or whatever that sea is. The Sea of Italy.
Oh, yeah, there you go. That's where Italy came in.
Yeah. So, Kevin went to Mont That's where Italy came in. Yeah.
So Kevin went to Montenegro and to Croatia.
He loved it.
And apparently it's very beautiful there.
Yeah.
I've heard.
Yeah, Kevin was sending me pictures.
Kevin was sending me pictures.
This is like, I don't know, this is like five or six years ago, before he had a girlfriend.
Just want to make that clear.
Before he had a girlfriend.
But he was sending me pictures of this pool that he was at, like on these cliffs, overlooking
the Mediterranean in this beautiful hotel, infinity pool, just gorgeous, like picture perfect. And he was sending me pictures.
Good for Kevin.
He was sending me pictures of all the-
Go Kevin.
Beautiful women in Croatia. And I was like, oh yeah, good for you. Congratulations.
They went there on a below deck season.
Oh, they did. Yeah. Well.
Captain Sandy.
Below deck, indeed. Captain Sandy. But I have to say, you know, here's where I think age gap
relationships can get problematic is when there's like five decades between the two of you.
What in the world are you going to have in common in five years or in 10 years? She is going to be
in her early thirties. He is going to be in his eight 30s, he is going to be in his 80s.
Yeah, well, it's like too, I remember going on a date
with somebody that was, I think, 20, 25 years older than me.
We met through work and he was a business owner
and I was selling advertising and blah, blah, blah,
asked me out, so I was like, well, why not?
So-
Suspicious as fuck?
It just didn't really work though,
because we didn't have like,
we were so generational,
like we didn't even know what we can,
like the same music,
like the same shows,
like the same stuff.
Yeah, that was a problem.
Astrid is lucky that I'm so immature,
that I still catch on to these things. Like,
you know, I try and stay happy and cool and all that other stuff, but just saying the word.
Well, that's not that much of it. No, it really is. No, it really is. Also, she grew up in another
country. So, you know, growing up with the same music or shows is that much of a thing.
That's true. And we never, age gap relationships get interesting when you start talking about the
age gap inside of the relationship. That's when I think it's doomed to fail. Like, I remember dating
a girl, you remember her, I remember dating her, and she was like seven years my junior, seven or
eight years my junior. And once she moved in, all of a sudden the age gap started popping up all over
the place. Not necessarily
with me, but with her. Like, oh, you're just old, you don't understand that. It's not your
generation. Or, you know, you don't, you know, I want to go out to the club at 3.30 in the
morning. You just don't want to go because I just don't want to go because someone's
got to keep a roof over the head and I got work at seven o'clock in the morning. That's
just why I don't want to go. Is that okay? I mean, yeah, I'm not at that point in my
life. Well, if somebody's calling you old in your relationship, then that's, yeah, a turn off.
It's done. Yeah. But 50 years.
Yeah, that's big.
I mean, this guy was born like Vietnam era. Like, what is he going to have in common with a 23-year-old something?
And maybe, and I'm not saying that it can't work because course, we've seen lots of examples where it does work.
Anna Nicole Smith married that 106-year-old dude, remember?
Oh, yeah.
And he died and she was, he left her everything in the will.
Everybody was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you guys were married for a month and then
he died.
What was that guy's name?
Can't remember, it's like an oil baron or something like that.
Yeah, from Texas.
But there are certainly age gap relationships that work.
I just think when it's that far, like, how do you bridge that gap? I mean, honestly, how do you bridge that gap?
Deductive Logic Book is only going to get you so far. It's only 100 pages long,
saying, once it's done, what do you do? But they were met in 2021, it's now 2024.
Money and bikinis go a long way.
Oh, yeah. Money and bikinis. Yeah, that's true. Beth Dombkowski That's- Jared Sussman That's true.
Beth Dombkowski And listen, you know, honestly,
God bless them. I hope everything works out great. I hope everything works out great.
But I have a feeling-
Beth Dombkowski Best to you.
Jared Sussman Best to you. But I have a suspicion that nothing's going to work out great.
And somebody, and here's why, here's why this conversation is more interesting to me today
than it would have been a couple of weeks
ago. Because I went down a Reddit rabbit hole about 90-day fiance.
Jared Liesveld Bring it on back to Reddit.
Jared Liesveld Yeah, bring it on back to Reddit. I went down a
Reddit rabbit hole about 90-day fiance, where a lot of people started pointing out,
a lot of people.
Jared Liesveld That's thoughtful.
Jared Liesveld I know.
Jared Liesveld Things that you're looking at.
Jared Liesveld Well, listen, you do what you know. You know what I'm saying? A lot of people are pointing
out that 90 Day Fiancé has been a lot of very big age gap, where they, a lot of guys
from America dating teenagers other places. And I have, and I'm now agreeing with some
of these Redditors that if I pay attention to some of these storylines, it is the 19 year old from Columbia, the 18 year old from,
you know, somewhere in Central America.
It's a lot, there's a lot of that going on.
The 20 year old from Brazil.
Oh yeah, the Brazil is like every season has someone from Brazil.
And a lot of those shows that TLC promotes, it's age gap bullshit.
Milf Manor.
Milf Manor.
Ha!
You've crossed the line, TLC.
Yeah, they really have.
Honestly.
The latest season doing, I mean, the first season was terrible.
Now this latest season is dating the...
Dads and the sons.
The dads and the sons.
Trying to decide which one you're going to fuck.
Or fucking both of them.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I won't watch it. I know. I won't support it. No. I think it's them. I don't know. Yeah, I didn't I won't watch it I know I support it. No, I don't I think it's so I don't know scuzzy
It's just like scuzzy and as much as they try and make it, you know, feel good interesting, you know drop, you know
Just trying to find love
I'm just trying to find love
I'm 72 years old and was trying to find love with my neighbor's 17 year old son. What's wrong with that?
I'm trying to find love with my neighbor, the 17 year old son, what's wrong with that?
I done been hitting that rabbit,
watching my 17 year old neighbor mow the grass.
I'm in the prime of my life.
I can't move my lips or my eyes,
but I'm in the prime of my life.
I went from a double A to a triple E. Just to impress my 17 year old neighbor. Nicole Soule-Nagy-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-London-Lond Yeah, they bring in the dads. And then the dads are now dating the same women as the
sons.
Yeah, I saw some clip where the son, they were like, I mean, are you impacted by this?
Are you kind of scarred by seeing that? I don't know what he just saw. But the son said,
yeah, kind of.
Yeah. I saw the same promo trailer, yeah, where the son was like, he was like crying.
He was like, he's like, I don't know. It's just like, it's jarring to see that, it's scarring. Of course it is. You fall in love with a woman,
you're in this place for like 20 days, like this beautiful mansion, and they bring a bunch of hot
cougars in there, and the cougars are all, you know, juiced up on whatever, white claw and,
you know, plastic.
Beth Dombkowski Botox.
Jared Sussman Botox. And they come in all hot and heavy on you, and then all of a sudden your dad comes a
week later and he's yelling at you to clean up your room and hitting it from behind.
And you're like, Jesus, Dad.
I mean, first of all, what kind of producer is getting away with this?
It must be a ratings grabber if they have a seasons two.
Yeah.
So all of y'all are fucked up out there.
Stop that shit. Turn that shit off.
Second of all, then you bring in the dads?
What kind of father are you if you agree to go on the show
to date the same women as your son?
What kind of dad must you be?
A bad dad.
That's what I have to say, a bad dad. I only have
children under the age of 10 and I already know that's bad dadisms. You don't do that.
You don't date the same women as your son. I don't care how old they are. That's just bad news.
Bad, bad news. It's like I'm watching another one of these shows on TLC, like,
Unexpected, which is a show kind of like 16 and Pregnant, and I don't watch it like frequently,
but I'll, you know, sometimes it's on and I'll catch it.
Two teenagers, the girl is 17, the kid is 15.
So 15 and a 17 year old, 15 and an 18 year old, she's pregnant, and the baby's having
babies and the dad, who has been largely out of this girl's life for her entire life until
like a year ago, has the hots for
the mom of the son. So, the dad is more worried about hitting up, you know, this dude's mom
than he is about the fact that his daughter is a baby having a baby. He's more concerned
about how hot the mom is. And it's like, dude, that's bad dadding. That's just bad dadding.
There are so many other girls out there, so many other women out there. You don't need to now make it even, what is this,
the Brady Bunch? Here's a story about a 50-
Well, speaking of, I just read, I was surprised. I didn't know this, but probably because I
don't keep up with a ton of Miley Cyrus and what she's doing. I like her though. But,
her dad just got married and then just got divorced to another much younger girl. But, you know, her dad just got married and then just got divorced. Really? To another
much younger girl. Anyways, that all happened kind of quick. They were talking about that,
but that led into the story to where her mother is married to someone that her sister used to date.
What? Yes. I was like, whoa. And it supposedly caused a rift. I'm like, well, yeah. So strange.
You know, I had a friend and her dad ended up making a lot of money
in the tech industry.
He sold one of his companies.
He just didn't know what to do with himself.
He was way too, lived a luscious life.
He was a partier.
He'd go to the clubs.
He'd bring home young women.
And he was probably, when I was around,
he was probably in his late 40s to late 50s,
like that 10 year kind of time period.
That's the one where you were like, why can't my dad be like that? Yeah 40s to late 50s, like that 10 year kind of time period. Jared to choose from as to who he would date, right? And I don't think he was really pretty, I don't think he was very discriminatory.
If they were willing to party with him
and looked halfway decent in his opinion,
they were gonna be able to go to the hot tub with him.
You know what I mean?
It was like one of those kind of,
he was just a nice guy, but just way too loosey goosey.
And he wasn't a great parent.
And because of that, she ended up, my friend,
ended up being the parent of this parent.
And it wasn't a good scene.
And it was a more
terrible scene when he started trying to date her friends, because she was in the modeling business.
So he started to date her, tried to date her friends. And she put, like, she drew a clear
line in the sand. You cannot date my father, my father cannot date you. It's just one of those
things. Like you can't do it. My head is already so fucked up because my dad's bringing home
strippers and I got to clean up, you know, empty pates of cocaine in the morning and I'm only 22 years old or whatever it is. Like, I don't need
to be seeing this in the first place. And then on top of that, you're bringing home
girls that are basically teenagers and then now you want to date my friends. It's bad
dadding. And so this milf manner is bad dadding. It's just bad dadding. Here's a story of a horny lady who was fucking both her son and her father
until one day DLC producers
put him on camera.
That's the story of Milf Manor.
It's crazy.
God, I feel like I'm, I shouldn't have sung that song.
What am I thinking?
Like Jeff DeLoscan or something. Hey, I was gonna pick shouldn't have sung that song. What am I thinking? Like, chapter lost in our song.
Hey, I was gonna pick up on that.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Well, there you go.
Instead of an interesting guest,
you got a less interesting regular episode of The Commercial Bank.
Or we review our reviews.
That's right.
We did nothing but talk about ourselves.
Every once in a while you got to get it out.
You do.
This is our therapy.
It's like going to confession.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Say seven Hail Marys and write something nice about us, please.
All right.
Let me remind you again.
I'll probably do a lot of reminding in the next couple of months, but October 25th,
Christy and I will be in Orlando for a show, and then on the 26th, we're going to be in
Tampa.
I'm going to tell you where and I'm going to tell you how to get tickets and we'll
tell you what time coming up real soon in the next couple of weeks.
If you're going to be in Orlando or in Tampa and you'd like to see us, let us know.
Hit us up for 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822.
Be the first.
Yeah, be the first. Be the first to buy the tickets to the show. When that comes out,
and I'll let you know, that'll be soon. We'd love to see you and maybe we'll bring you some swag. Say hello, sign a book, sign your forehead.
Get a tattoo of a dick on your eyebrow
like Post Malone just did to Steve-O.
Did you see that?
Post Malone tattooed a jizzing dick
on right above Steve-O's eyebrow for his 50th birthday.
Well, what a way to celebrate.
Well, first of all, happy birthday, Steve.
Yeah.
Congratulations on your new dick.
Can't wait to see you again, buddy.
At first, I was like, no way that can be real.
But he's already said, absolutely real.
And I believe it.
It's Steve-O.
It is.
I mean, he was never getting a normal job anyway.
No, he wasn't.
So let us know if you're going to be available for those two
shows.
We'd love to see you.
Maybe we'll bring you something down from the Atlanta studios. Also go to the website, tcbpodcast.com.
We'd love it if you would go there, check out all of the audio, all of the video right there from
one location. Also all of our guests information is right there where you can buy tickets, how you
can see their specials, where you can see their shows. It's all there at tcbpodcast.com.
Get your sticker, hit the contact us button. We'll send you a sticker. All right. At the
commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and youtube.com slash the commercial
break for all of our guest interviews and selected episodes. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can
do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you.
Best to you. And best to. I'll say best to you.
Best to you.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Christy and I always say, reduce it and we must say, good.
Get there.
Get there. I take a dick and keep on lickin'