The Commercial Break - Late Night Cruise Cruising!

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

Bryan is made to sleep on the couch near the cruise ship door but the neighbors keep it interesting. He hears about some engagement drama, a possible affair and crazy stories from his open balcony door. Then, Bryan explains why he is cruising the halls of the Disney ship late at night. He meets some TCB fans (in his head) and he makes the whole ship uncomfortable with his Titanic re-enactment! Finally, a listener texts in and begs Bryan to give Theresa Caputo another chance. TCB must oblige...game on! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Now time to make purchase of motor cars. I want to have a car that attracts a woman with a shave down below. Well, that would be a Corvette. Or a Hummer. We'll try to help you out here. And man, yesterday, tell me if I buy a car, I must buy one with a pussy magnet. He means a car that women will like. Yes, but where you keep this magnet is.

No, it's just that he means the vehicle. Women love the hummers. Do this have a pussy magnet? No. The vehicle itself will be a magnet. If I give you good price, will you please put in a pussy magnet? On this episode of the commercial break, there's nothing to let you take one of those fucking Disney cruises for a good joyride.

Here's a test. Yeah, hey. What are we going to do? One of those signs on the back. Like, what is it? Let's do the driver. Hey Brian, why don't you take a Disney dream out for a test drive. Hey, thanks man!

You're listening, people that were on the Disney cruise would creepy dad. Yeah, if you saw me on creepy dad Brian, that was creepy dad Brian, creeping around at midnight with four cameras right around his neck. I did it for the kids, for the kids. I guess that's less creepy. I guess that's more creepy. Yeah. How are we doing it for the children? What is that? That's some kind of new fangle of crystal meth coming from the West Tennessee. I had a friend that OD'd on Long Island medium about a week ago and I'm not interested lady I'm not interested so you go back to your long island and get away from here. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Ah yeah welcome back to another episode of this The commercial break I am Brian Green No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Best of you out there in the podcast universe How they all are you another episode of this a doll commercial break the only commercial break you'll ever need Don't worry about those other commercial breaks out there. They don't they mean you harm. They will do you harm They want trouble. I promise you and When you're leaving a review, don't worry about which commercial break you're leaving you want to you are listening to leave a review with us This not commercial break. The commercial. Five stars. Unrelatable, unfunny. Obnoxious, these two idiots.

Five stars. I love our smart ass audience. Thank you very much for all of that. I wanted to tell you a story. So when we won on the cruise, I got kicked out of the bed and I was sleeping on the couch. Okay, the reason why is because the kids sleep in the bed most nights with us. Now, be judgy, I don't give a fuck.

You can be judgy, I don't give a shit. We chose during the pandemic to keep our children close to us. And we went for love and kindness and affection rather than, you know, harsh discipline. Yeah, harsh discipline and let them cry and scream until they go to sleep. We tried that, we're just too soft for that. We tried that, it just didn't work for us.

We valued our sleep more than we valued, not having bad habits. And now we can't get them the fuck out of our bed, but whenever and anyway, it doesn't really matter. But because they sleep in the bed, there was a little couch that pulled out into like a full bed and then you could pull a curtain across the room and it separated the room into two.

Oh, cool. The root, the side with the couch bed had the door and I, whatever I see close to the ocean, I want the door open or the window open so I can hear the ocean. I sleep like a baby when I hear the ocean. And it cannot be a fake ocean, it has to be a real ocean. Okay.

So when the water's no sound machine, because my daughter sleeps to a ocean sound machine and it's just not the same effect to me. It doesn't feel the same. I don't get to get the same kind of. Probably smell the ocean air too. That's correct. And there's not a, there's a pattern, but it's not really a pattern

to real waves, right? There's a pattern to fake waves. Yes, yep. And so I opened the door and we didn't want the kids sleeping close to the door. Of course you don't. You don't want them strolling out and falling off the ship. Right.

So I said, That would be bad. And it was a queen size bed. It's a little tight for us. So I said, let me sleep on the couch. Have the guy pull it out and make nice bed. It was perfectly comfortable. Yeah. It's a little tight for us. So I said let me sleep on the couch What have the guy pull it out make nice bed was perfectly comfortable? Yeah close the little sheet I could have my little bed pillow and Watch my little show that I have downloaded

Download a couple episodes of a show and I could just watch it open the door fall asleep that nice breezy Ocean air you know the boats flying. I'm you know, it feels like a million miles per hour Yeah, I would go up to the top, the very front top of the ship. Like the tie it, yeah, the top top. And then you could go to the very front of the ship, right? Like the, you could do it. Did you and Astrid do like a Titanic moment? Astrid didn't join me, but I would, late at night, when the kids went to sleep, I would

just go roam the ship. You pull a Leo. Yeah, I was pulling a Leo. I was up there all by myself. Dude, just all by myself, no one was even around. And that first night, we were traveling. Yeah, of course. I mean, I could have been.

No one was around. No one. That was so. No one could be me. I'm up at the edge. I'm up at the edge of my, you know, 17 stories above the ocean going 26 knots per hour, you know. And that wind was whipping.

I mean, it was going. It was hard to stand up in the wind quite frankly. But so you open the... I can't help it, Dave. They have lots of cameras. They'll see me fall off. They just won't be able to get me. They're going too fast.

I don't... We lost one. I know. That's why you don't hear about cruise ship passengers that fall off being found very often. It's because once you're gone, you're gone. I mean, they're not gonna find you. The boats go into fast.

I watched a whole and interesting video about how ship captains, like, is a video training ship captains. Like, they show this in school for people who are training to be ship captains. On the different patterns you make, it's someone's school. Captain's school.

Yeah, you have to, that's the serious thing. No, I have. You've got to go to school for a long time. And then you've got to be on the prentas for a long time. Yes. So you're not going to let you take one of those fucking Disney cruises for a, I can enjoy right. Here's a test.

Yeah. Hey. What are we, what are those signs on the back? Like, what is it? It's too dry for that. Hey, Brian, why don't you take Disney Dream Out for a test drive. Hey thanks man. Left, right, return, right, right, return, whatever that shit is.

That shit's confusing. Go into a port and I've done this because I've spent a lot of time on boats and I've driven them. Driving on the ocean when you're going in and out of those ports, that's, it's confused. I look like an envelope act. Yeah, it's like, you know, there's a red and there's a green and there's a yellow and there's a, there's a lot of signs.

It's a whole, yeah. It's a whole, anyway. You can watch, I watch this video on what happens when a person is overboard. What do you do as a ship captain? How do you handle it? And so there's a whole thing. There's a number of different patterns you can make.

For panic. Yeah, you fucking shits your bricks. How do you handle it? And so there's a whole thing. There's a number of different patterns you can make. You can make. Yeah, you fucking shits your bricks. Because you're not gonna probably be at the captain of this creature very much longer. That's right. If you keep losing people off the side, but you're not good at what you do now. It's not your fault, of course.

But they have all kind of motion cameras, motion detecting cameras. All over. They they have all kind of motion cameras, motion detecting cameras. All over. They have thousands of cameras on this boat, especially since there's children on the boat. Right. The balconies are high and they have glass on them. So the kid can't just like jump through, right?

They need to have this mission impossible, you know, laser thing. Yeah. Well, that's, they have the cameras that then will If someone falls off the boat it catches that kind of motion. It's like a motion detector outside your house Okay. Yeah, it's pointing at the side of the boat. Yeah, a ring. They have a ring doorbell Waiting for you to fall off the boat Someone's gone missing

The captain's like in his bunk. He's like, oh, another one fell off the boat. Meanwhile, there's hundreds of cameras. So I know that they're looking at me like the entire time. Every night I go, I went up there, you know. I was probably like, this is dipshit's about to jump. Someone go up there and stop this asshole from jumping off the boat. We got port to make.

So I opened the door on this cruise ship. Now you gotta remember the cruise ship is just, it's just, it's like a casino. It's just, you know, hotel room after hotel room after hotel room. Yeah. As far as the boat goes. So when I open the door,

they have dividers on the balconies, but they're not dividing the sound. Like you can hear people next to you. All right, right. So the very first night I had the door open. Oh my God, the things that I heard. I don't know what was going on here, but it was an adult female.

I'm assuming younger based on her voice and then an adult male who I thought at first might be gay because of the way that she was talking to him, like confiding in him about this. And he had a little, and I know this is like, I'm totally generalizing here, but he had a little affectation in his voice. And he was also talking about, like, he would say,

oh yeah, he's good looking, right? Right, okay. So, and not to say that if you think somebody's, I think that's a good looking, I'd, you know, you get what I'm saying. I do, yeah. I was judging in my head. I may have a picture in my head, and this was the question.

Yeah, you were trying to, you know, make a inference. Yeah, they were drunk. And at about 10 30 at night, as soon as I lay down, they came outside and they were obviously drinking. And they were just, they blabbered on for like two hours. I couldn't fucking sleep because it sounded like they were standing right next to me. But because of the way that the ocean waves are hitting against the boat, I can hear some of the words, not all of them. But so, but I now have to pay attention to the conversation now. I'm interested in what they have to say.

Who are these people? What are they all about? I'm curious. So what I think what I inferred from this was she was about to get married to a guy and this guy was not the guy she was about to get married to, but he was here with her on the cruise. Okay, and that's friend. No, I don't think so. I think maybe it was a little more hot and heavy than this. I actually think that I was paying, that I was listening to a conversation between like a woman who was cheating on her engaged partner with

this guy. She took on a dirty cruise on a I was catching every third word. So I really do. But it was so fascinating because she would be like, you know, oh, we like to, but then, you know, he, he's, you know, his work and, you know, I know he's fell in love with this lady and, you know, he hasn't forgotten about it. Doesn't love her. Bob, she was just blabbing on confiding in this guy. The more drunk she got, the more she was confiding in him

and the more that he was just, he just played steady Eddie. He didn't get riled by anything. He was just like, yeah, you're right, you know, that's bad, that's damn, but then I thought I heard like, you know, a little making out going, yeah, a little rusting, a little making out. Not that I could hear the kissing or anything, but I could hear the, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, yeah, a little russling, a little making out. Not that I could hear the kissing or anything, but I could hear the, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Okay.

So I was like, wow, this is fascinating. Yeah. I got to see what these people look like. Right. So we get up and port in the next morning. And just as the sun is rising, everybody's get up at the same time because the boat is actually pulling, it's actually being docked. So you don't really feel it, but you can

feel a little bit that something's jossing around. Everybody gets out, they all have the, you know, everyone's sciveys, you know, drinking the coffee and whatever. And I can hear the two next, and I can hear them like they're kind of complaining that they're hungover, right? Oh, god, I feel like shit. What did we do last night? You would actually have to bend around the railing to see them. Like you'd have to stick your head out. Did you do that?

I did. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I had to get a look. I had to get a look. I was so fucking nosy that I had to get a look. I couldn't keep my fucking shit to myself. I did.

I leave over now. I was like, hey, good morning. I leave over now that I hate him. Morning. The girl was like in a robe and she was like, hi. And then I saw him. He wasn't so good looking. She wasn't so good looking either,

but not my opinion anyway. But I was like, wow, I just wanted to say something and I kept my mouth shut. That is so fucking nosy. Yeah, you can't say anything. So the next. Unless you two are drunk. Yes.

If you are drunk, then you are in on the action. It is all good. You're part of the family. But when you're the sober creepy guy, with a door open sleeping on the couch away from his family, like, are they cheating on each other or not? Look at so far, you're like, you had a CLC show, right? No, I did.

I was making an all up in my head. And so the next night, they started in again, around the same time. They started in again. And not I don't forget. I don't even know what they were talking about was not as interesting. But I went outside for a second just to look down on the ocean

because the Disney has these running lights against the boat. Oh, cool. Yeah. So you can see into the water as you're driving around. And to look at them. Yeah, I saw some sea turtles getting eaten up by the looking boat crew at Skrull. Oh, no.

Yeah, they were riding against the side of the boat, like trying to get off. Well, I mean, you gotta think, it's cruising at however many miles per hour. You know there are fish going into that. Yeah. That's sad, but, you know, circle of life and shit. So this time, I go out there and I kind of trip over the chair like to skink you know and it's making noise

And so I look for a few minutes, but I can then they like instantly town it down And like here just hear the door slam and I didn't hear them for the rest of the night I didn't need them for the rest of the day. They were like, there's that fucking magic. There's a douchebag. Because I was the only guy that, you know, if you didn't know any better, you would have just seen me turn around the corner and not the fact that I had kids in the room, you know?

So they're probably like, ugh. That guy, creepy. It was creepy. You're bringing your fucking Hussie onto the goddamn boat. You sleep it around. Yeah. I'm bringing them on a Disney cruise. At that. That's what I think was going on.

I like it. Yeah, that's my imagination, who really knows. I don't know that many way they don't know me. They probably don't listen to the conversation. What if they did? I did see, I did have, I did have what I thought was a little bit of a strange interaction on one of the elevators. It was like late at night and I ran around the boat taking pictures. What are you doing?

I'm just... He went... As soon as nighttime comes. I know, I'm Brian the fan to move the Dizzie Up on top watching turtles taking pictures Something to the neighbors. I'm all over the place eating soft-serve ice cream out of the free machine Getting hot tea

Here as did you and the kids I know I can get my own I know I can just I don't get my own. She doesn't care. She's like whatever she's been dealing with this for years She knows I just start creeping around yeah, meanwhile the security guys must be like keeping eyes on Zone three zone three There's that guy Keep it on I'm taking pictures of like the engine room I'm taking pictures of like the engine room. I'm just like they think I'm gonna bomb the boat. I know.

I was taking pictures so I could make my kids a nice thing, right? So I took pictures of the cool spots without everybody standing there in the middle, in between you and the good shot. So I was running around the boat and then I jump in one of the elevators and Income I would say 350 iPhone Disposable Boom Mike Don't hide me. Don't hide me. I'm just taking pictures of you in your

bathroom. I'm gonna get in one of the jetties and start taking pictures of them. I'm just gonna follow the boat as it goes along with big pictures. So I get to, the elevator, an income three adults that came from the fourth floor, which is where they had the night clothes in the farmers, right? The night clothes, yeah. Okay. So they come in and they're probably, I'm going to guess in their 30s, the three of them. And they were chitin' and chatting it up. And as soon as they walked in, they were chitin' and chatting when they got in the elevator

for like the first five or ten seconds. And then they, and then they noticed your camera. No, they just like stopped in the girl bumped the guy and I, and, and because it was mirrors, so I could see, right? And I was like, that's weird, you know, like that. And so I kind of turn around and the girl was like, she was staring at me and she smiles and she goes,

like this, she like gives me like, hi, like almost like a hi. I thought for myself for two seconds, I wonder if they've ever seen or heard a commercial break. I like this. More likely is that they wanted you to be the fourth in their, in their political swore.

Is there consensual mon monogamy? Yeah. Yeah. That guy? That guy. Yeah. I mean, I like to think things like that, like it's probably from the commercial break,

but it's probably because I had a bugger hanging on my nose or something. I forgot to think things like that. Like it's probably from the commercial break, but it's probably because I had a bugger hanging out in my nose or something. I forgot to zip my fly. Ah! Now that we're gonna invite you in. Oh yeah, the state room to 306. There are no windows. It's just portals.

Six of them. But eight of them between the four of us. Oh, nice. Was that very well could have, right? six of them, but eight of them between the four of us. Nice. Was that very well could have, right? I hope that was the case. I could not understand. If you're listening, people that were on the Disney cruise would creepy dad. Yeah, if you saw me, I'd creepy dad Brian, that was creepy dad Brian creeping around at midnight

with four cameras right around his neck. I did it for the kids. For the kids. I guess that's less creepy. I guess that's more creepy. How are we doing it for the children? Hey commercial breakers, backed by popular request, the commercial break inside of the commercial break.

Go to tcbpodcast.com. You can find out more about Chrissy and I. You can read all the show notes, get all of our sponsors specialized URLs and codes, and connect with us at the socials and on YouTube, which happens to be at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's where you can find the video of all the shows and clips every single day of the week. We also put out some content on that YouTube channel that's not available anywhere else, like commercial break in the studio where Chrissy and I pick a timely topic and we opine

for 4 to 5 minutes. You'll love hearing Chrissy and I for an additional 4 to 5 minutes a week, so go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. From the bottom of our hearts, we appreciate everybody who has been leaving us kind, comments and reviews, especially on Apple, but you don't have to leave it at Apple, any podcast player will do. We'll take it, and for those of you who are leaving not so nice comments and reviews, well, we'll take yours too. We know we're not everybody's cup of tea and every cup of tea needs a lemon, you're it. TCBpodcast.com at the commercial break on Instagram,

youtube.com slash the commercial break and one final note. 661-237-8296, that's 661, the word best, the number two, y-o-yo. That's where you can leave us a text message or call it and leave us a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you about anything you want to talk about. Now, let's hear a word from our sponsors and we'll be back after this commercial break. If you've been listening to the commercial break for any period of time, then you've heard Chrissy and I talk about meditation.

It's a practice and routine that I've kept up for about 25 years, and about 8 years ago I was trolling through the App Store trying to find a meditation app for music, and what I found was calm. I'm sure you've heard of this application, it's incredibly popular and there's a great reason why. It helps to induce calm. The app does exactly what it's name describes through guided meditation, through music, through soundscapes, through stories, sleep stories, and otherwise, and many other tools that are updated every single week. This is an application that at my household, we open up at least twice a day,

because now my children love this app also. It's got an entire section for kids. It helps them with sleep stories, simple meditations, and soundscapes. And I couldn't be more excited about this when it's time to go to bed. The kids ask for the calm app because they want to hear the sleep stories from some of their favorite characters. And I use it for the guided meditation, the soundscapes, and sometimes the sleep stories when I'm having trouble getting to bed. This application is an incredible tool in my tool, Bell, when I'm trying to de-stress in these incredibly stressful times. If you don't yet have this app, I want to give a gift to you from the good people at COM. For listeners of the show, COM is offering an exclusive 40% off a COM Premium subscription at COM.com slash commercial. Go to

calm.com slash commercial for 40% off unlimited access to COM's entire library. That's COM.com slash commercial. Chrissy and I highly recommend this app. This is one of those things that Chrissy and I truly love. So go to calm.com slash commercial. Get 40% off the calm premium subscription and thank you so much to calm for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. Okay, so we got a lot of, a fan mail after the last Theresa video that we did.

We got a lot of people that thanked us for going all the way through the Theresa videos. But we do have our detractors when it comes to Theresa. There are some people who do not like the fact that we're making fun of Theresa. And they made themselves known. And they said, it's okay if you don't like it, but you don't have it, but you know,

you don't have to like bust the balls of everybody else that does, that does believe in it. That's not what we're doing. I'm not busting the balls of the people believe in it. We're busting the balls of Teresa. I'm busting the balls of Teresa who I don't believe in, right? And so I don't care what you believe. And if Teresa, your thing, Teresa, your thing is not my thing. I think it's shit. And I think it's horseshit. And I think that she's taking advantage of people's vulnerabilities in a vulnerable time.

And so, but you've heard all this, I don't wanna go through it all again. What this particular woman said, girl, woman, you know, how old she was, I have no idea. What she said was, take what you need to do is not look at one of the videos where obviously she's having a hard time or a bad day.

Okay. Look at one of the videos where obviously she's having a hard time or a bad day. Look at one of the videos from her television show where it's kind of more put together. Okay. We'll do that. More staged. Yeah, more staged. Less real. Okay. And so we'll do that. We'll go through the motions. All right. I'm with you. I hear you. You think I'm cherry picking the bad shit, but we'll go through it and I'll give it a fair chance. I am, despite what you may think about my personality on the show, I am extraordinarily open-minded. Yes.

I don't believe in this kind of shit, but I'm willing to take a listen to the Lebanon Tennessee. Lebanon Tennessee, that's right. So right now, I'm in Lebanon, Tennessee, and I'm getting ready to surprise Alex. We're band of Kent Tranny. He's a group reader. I know.

It's so. It's it. It's it. A&E is worse than TLCS, swear to God they are. There's no arts or entertainment about this. It's all like 48 hours intervention and Teresa Caputo Alex Camera good youtube.com slash the commercial break. That was you Yeah, that was me and the Disney cruise

To do it for the kids Thank you the camera is huge It's a Sony Family and friends telling them that she wanted to have an end of the summer barbecue. The only thing is that they don't know that I am going to surprise them with a group reading. The only thing is I'm the best thing that's ever happening to this party. I'm going to connect them with their dead. I'm going to connect them with dead people.

Good luck. Good luck. You better get one, you better get a good one here. There's nobody knew all of your contract next year Teresa. You're quite the shitster. Give it all to me. I love that the producer said good luck. You're like a shit stain on A&E right now, Teresa. Oh, she locked the door to people in him. Surprise. Surprise! I'm here with a bunch of ghosts to terrorize you. I have a bear showing me caskets. I brought the caskets. It's me, Mr. Spirit.

This is your last chance, Theresa. You better represent us well. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Relax. Relax, everybody. OK, come on out.

So everyone's all set. There's a lot of nice to meet you. I don't want anyone to see me. So how did it go? I don't want anyone to see me. I want to be a ghost just like the ones I talk to. Oh, and they had to pay to get her to get there. That didn't even pay her anything.

This is just like a whole setup. Like, you know, somebody writes in, you know, my dad's wife who died. Would you please come to my birthday party? Yeah, would you please come to my birthday party and make it happy? Happy birthday. Happy birthday, your dad wife has been terrorizing you.

This is so shitty. Meanwhile, she wants, what, wants to make it a surprise. Who fucking cares? This lady has the biggest ego in the world. Who fucking cares that you show up? Who cares? Goal like everyone's like waiting, like they just think they have a book.

Tell them I'm pregnant. No, no, no, no, it won't be enough. They think we're gonna have a, he's gonna have a grand kid. I tell them I'm pregnant. No, they won't be at us. They think we're gonna have a, he's gonna have a grand kid. Little did they know I'm just here to really iterate that your wife is dead. I think I'm gonna say I'm pregnant. I thought I was bringing a new life into the world. But wait, oh, he's showing my baby dead.

This is a great day that everyone's gonna be happy. Little did they know it's gonna be happy little to the know. It's gonna be the most miserable time of their lives. I hate my parents. But you're not pregnant? Oh great. They might be furious. This might not go well.

My name is Alex, I'm from Lebanon, Tennessee. And I am dumb as dirt. Everybody immediately thought, this is a baby announcement. They were like, do we bring balloons, pink or blue? They got all into it. Just go, go, what? I'm thinking maybe I should just different skies.

Me? Yeah. But at one time Teresa fans since the first episode. So I'm excited to see how everything plays out. Oh my God, sorry. Just a fan excited to see how everything plays out. So she's just a fan. Yeah, she's the fan. And now, this is so terrible. Nobody wants their dead relatives

brought back at us, possibly a surprise baby and ask him, flash birth. It's like that's the worst thing you could do to somebody. Hey, dad, we're not having a baby. Your wife is still dead. She's here in the room with us. You can't talk to her however. This cone head over here. This dip shit.

Dip shit with the helmet on her head. The long nails it's gonna talk for you. Meanwhile, if you're gonna have somebody over at your house, do we think about putting some grass down? Yeah, yeah, it's a little brown. Yeah, it's a little brown. You guys having a barbecue? Oh, it's hot. Who the fuck brought to Reza Caputo? I know. I know.

First of all, I think most people don't really know who she is The one the woman that brought her is the fan yet by the way, okay? So in case you're not look in case you're not watching this what's happening is Teresa shows up to a random house in Lebanon, Tennessee that which you just heard she shows up the front door Alex the person the girl that she just listen to Shows up at the front door and she's whispering and she's like, this is so exciting. She's so excited. This is going to be a surprise. They think I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant, but no, you're bringing a person who talks

to dead people. So they go around the corner and when they turn around to the backyard, there's a couple of people standing there. And I think Teresa and Alex believe that they're just going to start screaming excitement. And what happens is they give them a look of like, what the fuck are you doing here? I hate you. I think Teresa and Alex believe that they're just gonna start screaming excitement and Give them a look of like what the fuck are you doing there? I hate you. Yeah, that's how I live These people are not shocked. They just have no idea who I am. Right. Yeah, right. I don't know what's happening. Oh, yeah.

I don't know. I don't know. Okay, so I come from Long Island. Yeah. And I am the most handsome. I come from Long Island in Bees. She's treating these people like they're idiots. Like, they're supposed to love her.

And then she's like, you know, doing the spot motion. I know what it is. I come from Long Island. I know. I know really should have just gone crazy. I know. Everybody should have gone crazy because you showed your fat face up. Long Island medium.

Oh, they're like. What is it? Long Island medium. That a drink? That's long Island medium. What is that? He's a part of it. That's some kind of new fangled crystal myth

coming from the West Tennessee. I had a friend that OD'd on Long Island medium about a week ago and I'm not interested lady. I'm not interested. So you go back to your long island and get away from here. She's treating them like they're so stupid. I know. Meanwhile they have a nicer house than she does. Yeah. Oh, it's my turn.

I'm sorry. I don't think anyone has ever asked me before, what is a long Island medium? But I think my's so awful. So I have the ability to connect with people that have crossed over. I just met out. You mean like crossed over the yellow line? Because out here lady we do that a lot.

Not many other cars. We drive in the middle of the road. What I'm driving. You being like wearing a dress, you're supposed to wear pants? Yeah. I take that crossover shit elsewhere, lady. Yeah. And you have the wrong household.

Hey, no one crossing over here. He's being over here. He's being over here at her like what? I know, they're like, hey, no one crossing over here. The guy in the back is like, I actually tied. I tried it. I liked it over here. The guy in the back is like, I actually tied. I tried it.

I liked it. Yeah. I know nothing about any of you. My wish is not for you to believe in mediums. Maybe it's just to really see what a long Island medium is all about. I like to know. A little bit more than the hair in the nails.

Honestly, I really have no idea what's going on. So I can't wait to hear what she says. They might not know what's going to happen, but they will be very thankful. The people that I invited today were the ones that I felt like could really benefit from a reading. I think they're the ones that could gain the most healing from the experience and the validation

that Theresa provides. Another word, they're the ones dumb enough to believe Theresa. I mean, that's not a compliment necessarily. I don't think so anyway. OK. So have you guys ever been to a medium before? Anyone experience anything like that?

Or OK. So what I like your loved ones to do is they're going to bring up and talk about things that happened years ago to remind you of the happy times. Because if you're too busy beating yourself up with these negative emotions, God, how would you be so pissed if I was at this party. I thought I was gonna be a party.

And now we're gonna talk to my dead mom. And now we got some crazy lady in front of me. Yeah, now you're talking to your dead mom. That's right. What I wanna do is. I wanna bring up happy memories. Tell them about the funeral. That'll keep smiling.

What's yours? That's yours. I'll ask them if they've ever smiled before. Talk to them about Mickey or Minnie. I can't wait to see how this is a cold reading. Here we go. Then I want you loved ones to talk about things that have happened since they've died. To validate for you that through every breath that you take,

and every milestone you achieve, they... Every breath you take. Every breath you take. every milestone you achieve, they... Everybody breath you take. Every breath you take. Every move you make. Every claim you take. I'll be watching you. First of all, second of all, I wanna just interject some seriousness in here.

Teresa Caputo now knows who Alex is. Obviously, they've communicated with the production staff and she also knows. Yeah, she also knows exactly who's gonna be at this party. They have trolled through their Instagrams, their Facebooks, their public profiles. They know more about these people than any of their friends do.

So Teresa, again, you cannot see her ears. There's a producer in the truck who's watching this on a small video camera and talking to her or making some kind of signal somehow, some way. For sure. Oh, with you in spirit. Um, I am actually going to start with the father that is departed. So, um, is your dad departed? Yes. So that may have 80s, 97 years old. Your dad departed. Yes, in 1922.

It's like not a hard one to get. Forward. And I don't know, your dad was this. Like, I feel like he had this strength to him. Whether it be his voice, his personality, he was pretty. He's gonna say that about their dad. Teresa, he was a body builder in the 20s. I'm looking at his Facebook page right now.

This guy's a beef kid. Okay, I got you, Bob, I got you. When he sang a Jackable Trick Tosa, he keeps bringing me to a barn. From the fall. We're in the middle of 11 in Tennessee, which is a lot of farms. Yeah.

He keeps bringing me to a barn. Are there any barns around here? Are you seeing a barn? In Lebanon, Tennessee, lady. You're in a barn. Yes. Did he have horses or do something with horses? There was animals always around. I'm not named.

Because that's what happened. I'm gonna get a fuck! Unbelievable. How do you fall for this? How? This guy looks smart. This guy looks like possibly he was in Vietnam. This is not no dumb dude. I don't consider these people dumb.

I consider them like, they're just vulnerable. This is leading her down the pin rose path. Ferris. I consider them like they're just boner. Yeah. Yeah. Leading her down the pink rose. Ferris. I'm part of it. I'm picturing animals. Yeah. Were there were there horses or any animals in the barn? I'm looking at it. It was just an empty barn. Your father. He he went to the ocean one time. Yeah, he did. And I'm seeing fish in the ocean. There was. Ask him if they see clothes in the sky, Tony. So that will do it.

Mr. Spirits here to help. Oh, got Eddie. My dad was a very, not like a big hooking man. No, that's just not like a big hooking man. That looks like a tiny little dude. Oh, okay. He believed in a good, strong work ethic.

It was instilled in all of us kids. We planted tobacco, we'd bailed the hay. We had horses because that's how we worked the farm. The tractor wasn't always reliable. That horse was, and kids could handle the horses. Your father restricted my throat area, which means that... Which means that he's a kinky sh**. So he's a telepionist. God! To your dad was in the auto-eprotic expectation.

Mr. D. Mythrow. So? So it was Robin Williams. I'm worried about it. He had a hard time expressing emotion here in the physical world. Oh my God, trees. Oh my God, guys, come on. He had a hard time expressing emotion.

Which father that was born in 1907, didn't. The average lifespan was 20, yeah. It was like a strong farmer. My dad was in the same, yeah, my dad is in the same, yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. And I'm gonna be pretty soon too. I know, you don't have that problem

doing it with your children, is that correct? Correct. You tell them and you're more of a support system. I try to be. To validate the men that you've become and thanking you for the way that you take care of everyone in your life. I don't know how you did it Theresa, but you just nailed me to a thing Because every father wants to hear those words Doing a good job and by the way three days ago Alex posted on Facebook my dad is so so wonderful

If anybody said that to me if anybody said that to me, if anybody said that to me, I would be like, oh, yeah, you're right. That's exactly the kind of father I want to be described as. Because what you gonna say, you're an asshole. You're good, thank you. Of course not.

This is dumb. This is dumb. I'm not convinced. I struggle with being a stepfather to two girls. I have five beautiful grandchildren by those two girls. And I'm constantly in a state of not knowing whether I'm doing the correct thing. He says you try to handle.

So in other words, you're a dad. I'm a right. You're a dad. Yes, this is a human. This is a family. A real father And mother feel. Right. Are we doing the right things?

Yeah, are we doing enough? I asked this question 30 times an hour sometimes. Yes. Everything on your own. I want you to know that it is OK to ask for help. What to say? I'm having a hard time with it. Let's skip on to the next person.

Thank you. What I heard from my dad. I'm done with it. It makes a great day. You're done with this one? Yeah. I don't know how to skip on the next one. dad. I'm done with that. It makes a great day with my children. You're done with this one? I don't know. I just give out of the next one.

Oh, I'm not. I'm not. But you think we got an actual studio here? He says so when you go back to my... Oh, we just have two more minutes of this. Oh, okay. I didn't know it was like all night. Oh, okay.

I am able to be with my children and my family. I wish I could have done that and given that to my dad. You just did. Thank you. Your father is validating that for you. I mean, if that makes that guy feel good, then that's fine, but to say that she's actually communicating with the dad is...

I think that, I mean, that sounded more like psychiatry to me. Exactly. Or therapy than it did a reading of any sort. Yes. And what bothers some about this, to me, and I've said this a million times, I'll say it again, what bothers some about this to me, and I've said this a million times, I'll say it again. What bothers some about this to me

is that Teresa is making millions and millions and millions of dollars on the back of the vulnerability of people who are always going to be vulnerable when they're in their positions. If I started talking about your mom for 15 minutes, you'd start crying too. Absolutely. And you wanna believe, I'm sure that somehow somewhere. But they're proud of me. They're looking, they did start crying too. Absolutely. And you want to believe I'm sure that somehow somewhere.

They're proud of me. They're looking. They did the right thing. They can communicate with you. They know they see. And maybe that is all true. But no one in the right mind dead or alive is going to pick this bone bag. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Thank you about it. This lady is an airhead. She's a dipshit and she's a liar. And that's the worst part. You're giving hope to people that they can communicate with somebody that they cannot communicate with.

It's not going to happen. Or if we could communicate with the dead. If it was in fact true, then we, I think we'd all feel much better about ourselves. Yeah. I was also connected from the head over here. Who had a head? Who had a head? Which one of you had of you had ahead kids coming to right now? It's coming through right now They're pulling me over to a head farm

They're pulling me into a neurologist office That's a dentist's office. Oh, head teeth. That's a dentist's office. Oh, head teeth. That's a whole head teeth. It's me, Mr. Spirats. The brain, you know, the end of his brain to my Alzheimer's or dementia. Oh, man.

Who had any of those? Yeah. Two-think. Who had a two-think? Oh, brain cancer. Okay. I'm finding it hard with your deck because I can't get it.

I can't get it. I can't get it. I can't get it. I can't get it. I do think, who had a do-think? Yeah. Ah! Ah! I'm fine. I'm kidding, sir. Okay. I'm finding it hard with your deck, because I can't figure him out. He says, because he's the dullest old woman. It's the dullest old woman.

Yeah, it's the tuner. You understand that? He says, and I don't want you to feel that I wasn't a part of your life. I feel like you had a visitation from your father. I think I feel him all the time, but it was especially the morning that you got married. Mm-hmm.

Oh, I'm like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like. I feel like it was the morning that you got.

The most special day of your life. That's right. He was there. Of course. Yeah, of course. I got married. No, my parents are both still alive. I felt my grandfather there.

It felt like a really different day. He says, and you felt. It was a really different day, hold the day you got married was a really different day. I know. and you felt. It was a really different day, hold it. The day you got married was a really different day. I know. Come on, Alex. I expected to be like all the others. It's me, spirit, I just broke wind inside the room. Tell him that spirit's talking.

I'm gonna say was giving you away that day. So know that that was real. I think I might want to be there, really. This is bad. I know. This is bad. It's just bad. It's just bad that she's doing this to this poor lady.

It's bad that she's doing this poor lady. That she's making this poor lady believe things that are not true. Now, maybe that's what this lady wants to hear. Obviously, if this lady wants to hear it. Yes, and again, and it's, you know, hiya. Okay, two more minutes. You have not convinced me. I'm not sure, like, everything was gonna be okay.

I felt like there was such a difference on that day just because he was there. My dad, he died when I was about nine years old. So it means a lot to hear that he could see all the great things that were taking place and how everything. Teresa confirmed it. Teresa confirmed it. He was jumping up and down on one leg.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay, I'm ending this now and I'm going to tell you why I'm ending this now because I don't believe it. I don't believe it's true. I still think this is just as harmful as it was when she was doing Anderson Cooper and running around the room Flailing to get somebody to pay attention to her. This is not true. I just don't believe it Yeah, no, it is it's an old carnival trick if you've seen Nightmare Alley the new one. I have yeah, yeah, yeah

You know Bradley Cooper's character that ends up honing his skills of the whole Again talking to the dad and you, you cast a wide net, and then you zero in on who's that. Zero in, zero in, zero in. And you just keep saying, you know, I feel like it's just a feel like, and yeah, you can be your general.

You could, you be as general as possible, and then you keep on asking questions until you get somebody to agree with you. And if you're in a crowd, even if it's a crowd of seven people like it is here, somebody as a father that's passed away, especially the guy who's 92 years old sitting, what the fuck is that?

Oh, eh, and which girl who lost her father didn't feel her father on the wedding day? On the wedding day. Come on, man, this is just, ah, guys, come on, we gotta be, we gotta do better than this, as a society, as we on, man, this is just... Guys, come on.

We gotta do better than this, as a society, as we gotta do better than this. We gotta hold each other a little bit more accountable. Carl Lenz is not the next coming of Jesus Christ wearing Yeezy's in a Chanel scarf. And Teresa Caputo cannot talk to your fucking dead friends. Parents, relatives, or anybody else, it's just not true, but good try.

Still not convinced, but good try still not convinced but good try uh but if you want to talk about it missus and missus commenter you know who you are if you want to talk about it come on the show 661 237 8296 send us a text message leave us a voicemail if you have any show ideas content ideas you want to come on and play games or You want to come on and discuss any of the topics we talk to send us a text message we may figure it out we may get you on board www.tcbpodcast.com all the show notes all of our sponsors specialized URLs and codes all the audio all the video the whole entire catalog right there one location tcbpodcast.com or on your favorite podcast provider at youtube.com slash the

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