The Commercial Break - Lip Licking Bat Lover

Episode Date: August 19, 2022

A listener writes in to tell TCB about his insane experience after his Love Connection appearance! Three's a crowd for this former contestant on the new version of the blind date game show. Steve Martin is retiring from TV and film work Hoaldey's husband wonders how TCB has so many listeners The gang review some of their failed marketing campaigns A listener writes in with a WILD Love Connection story A lip loving bachelor jumps on the couch with Chuck Woolery as Love Connection week continues Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thanks Ryan and Chrissy. I just heard your podcast. Could you ever need to do? On this episode of the commercial break Jeff does a year-end, you know playlist on Spotify. He can maybe include us. Maybe we'll get two plays. Yeah, with our SEOs. He can maybe include us. Let's do play. Yeah, let's do our S.E.O.s. You're a theater. And he does.

Do it into the year playlist where the qualifications are, they had to have died that year or put out an album that year. Yeah, okay. And so of course when she died I was like, are you gonna put E-News? So I'll go jump off the roof and we'll get included in this for the playlist. She's throwing up on her shoes. She's shitting herself. Feet her pants.

You know how good. You know, when you're nervous. As we got to the place where we agreed to have drinks, she stopped me to explain that she was married. Oh no. Wow. Wow. What?

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. So we'll, Jack, Jack, Jack. Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, huh? Yeah, we can use our imagination. Yeah. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, that's another episode of the commercial break. I am Brian Green. This is my dear friend, Kristen Joy, home the best of you, Kristie. Best of you, Brian.

Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this The Commercial Break. It's not for everyone, but fact news or fiction is guaranteed in 15 seconds or less, or your money bag. Go to the brand new tcbpodcast.com to collect your earnings and without further ado, we'd like to start the show.

Steve Martin is retiring from acting. I just learned. He's in that show too, I love butter and the ladies. Yeah, but I think this might be the last season. Steve Martin is retiring from acting. I just learned. He's in that show too, I love butter and the name. Yeah, but I think this might be the last season. That's season number two. It's season number two, yeah. Yeah, he says it.

It's like it's a piece of retiring. Yeah, it's a piece of glass. I mean, it's kind of one of those vague retirement announcements. It's like, I'm not going to seek out any movies. I'm not going to do any more television shows. I'm not going to, I refuse to go live somewhere else to film a movie.

Like, I'm just not not gonna do that on two old And he says in this Plus he's got a flourishing banjo career. Well, he's always had a flourishing banjo career that guy. He's He's a banjo guy. Does he actually go on tour with the banjo? Yeah, I think he does and in fact I read his Onobiography. Yeah a little while back and it was very interesting. He started off doing magic Yeah, didn't he he didn't even get famously was like 40 didn. He started off doing magic. Yeah, he didn't even get famous, so he was like 40, didn't he? It was older, he was older.

Yeah, he was older. So you know, there's still some hope for us, Chrissy. Yes, there is. I was talking to my wife the other day about what she's likes to make this funny joke. You know, I had no idea when I was younger, I'd be married to a famous podcaster. And I'm like, define famous.

Like, define famous. Famous, I think, I mean, we talked about this before on the show. Famous, I think you have to be recognizable by other people besides your own group of friends and family. And I'm not sure that anyone outside of my own friends or family could identify me. I know, I was showing Jeff that our reviews the other day

and he's probably paying people to say that. Yeah, sure. No, I don't think so. Bang people to say what? You're sho-sucks. We're so great. Yeah, first of all, no, we don't pay people to leave reviews. Though if we did, we might get more of them.

That might be, hey, listen, go make a review. Send me in a receipt. I'll send you $5. That's where you're gonna collect your winnings. Yeah, that's who collect your winnings. I don't even know where you would go to buy a review like that. I think you can do it. Well, I mean, I'm sure that if you can think of it,

somebody is out there doing it for you. But I need somebody, I would need somebody that has a great grasp of the English language. You know what I'm saying? I think on Fiverr you can find somebody to do anything before you. Yeah, I got this like Instagram message the other day. Sir, I'd like to promote your many podcasts,

your many funny podcasts on my Spotify SEO networks. Oh my God. Yeah, I guarantee 10,000. Is it in my Fonda? Yeah, yeah. It was, he was like, I guarantee 10,000 plays and many famous's or something like that. May. Yeah.

Many famous's. They always, someone over there is teaching them to say many a lot because you know, that's kind of like the word that they use. But I thought to myself, well, here's an interesting proposition for $50. He's gonna put me all over his SEO networks, get me 10,000 Spotify plays guaranteed. That's the thing, when someone guarantees something

in this industry, you've got to stay away from it because it's just not true. It can't be true, there's no way it can be true. Except when we guarantee Fagnies or F. Fagnes are fiction. Yes. And get your money back because you're not paying anything. So there you go. It's a true statement. So Steve Martin is retiring from acting altogether. Okay. So he is kind of alluding to. Serena Williams has now said she's going to retire.

She was having a little baby. Yeah, it seems like all the people we've come up with are retiring. Or dying. I don't say that. And so I was thinking to myself the other day, how much I know, yeah, she's that 30 year battle with cancer. She did, she did. And I never really, that was not like that didn't,

it's not that someone passing away is always sad, but it wasn't like I was like, oh, Olivia Newton John. I was. Because I was like, oh. I mean, Grace is a favorite of a lot of people in the movies. Do not do not count myself amongst those people.

Okay, and then I remember the lets get physical. She done mine, I done mine. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee Let's get physical. She's a man and a man. Jeff does a year-end, you know, playlist on Spotify. He can maybe include us. Maybe we'll get two plays. Yeah, with our SEOs. You're a CEO. He does. Do it into the year playlist where it's the qualifications are they had to have died that year or put out an album that year. Yeah.

Okay. And so of course when she died I was like, are you going to put me in? So I'll go jump off the roof and we'll get the included in the playlist. So I was like, are you going to include, let's get physical of a living in Dunneys? Like absolutely not. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're doing something different. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But is it, would it be possible that as like a hidden, like a, oh, like an Easter egg? Like an Easter egg. Yeah. You know, you know, that's the, like, a minute and a half after the CD ended, the last song would play, and it would just be like, dead air, and then all of a sudden some special song would come?

Could he do that for us? Could we, yeah, and then could they like dump an episode of the commercial break. We'll put together a special episode for Jeff's. I'll pay some more. I'll pay some one to put a special episode. Thank you for coming to our many, many happy commercial breaks.

And yeah, it brings up this interesting question when I was thinking about Steve, my buddy Steve Martin, how all these people retiring, how much running room do you think we actually have on the commercial break? Like is anybody gonna wanna hear from us when we're in our mid 50s or mid 60s?

Do we have a decade or so? Do we have decades or do we just have really a couple of years of views here? Well, no one knows, right? No, I know, no one knows. But I'm just wondering how long we can continue to do this group of show without getting more. I'm going to write it to the wheels, folks. The wheels fell off the second we started. What are you talking about? Many, many, many,. Many, many years ago. Yeah, many, many, many years ago. Many, many, many years. Well, listen, do us a favor, get on your SEOs and leave us a brief view. I love how Jeff only thinks the good things happen if Brian somehow thanked for it. Well, well, you did start off with the billboard. That's true. I did, I did

paper billboards, which got a zero review. And then we had a Henry fond of type guy we were working with for a while. Well, those all in the beginning to try and like, well, the Henry Fonda guy just took our money. He's actually doing anything for us. That was a problem. He kept saying that traffic's going to come on my box. I was like, Brian Payforson, it's a billboard. Yeah. Brian made for billboards and then he bought some time on cast box and then Jeff's like, oh, how do you pay to get on the Apple charts? I don't know Brian did it. I put a billboard right outside one of the executive at Apple's home, his high rise in New York.

And it's, let's keep playing video, Chr Chrissy and I with this flashing white lettering that says put us on the chart or else. Best of you. Best of you. Best of you. Best of you. I paid someone with many happy SEOs to keep sending messages to have all executives. Best of you. Best of you you Canada charts or else. Oh, I gotta go to podcasts industry event in a couple of weeks and there's gonna be Apple people there and I'm gonna I bet they're gonna be avoiding me like the play. You should run around and go seek them out. I'm gonna put a t-shirt together number one comedy in Canada For mistakes in a row That's fun that is fun. Okay, so we're here in the love connection week and we're super excited to present to you

The love connection the Venerable 80s and 90s dating show, the blind HL wear one person would choose one of three of the opposite sex to go on a date with, now this is the 80s and 90s, so that's why they're choosing the opposite sex. It wasn't, it wasn't very, it was very inclusive, it was a different time back then. But they choose one of the opposite sex to go out with or the audience would choose for them,

they'd go on a blind date, they'd come back, they'd talk about that date, if they chose to go out together, then love connection would pay for one more date, if they did not choose to go out again for another date, then the person who was sitting on the couch would get an opportunity to go out with someone different, if the audience chose someone different. That's how it goes. So this show has had a couple of different iterations, it had the original Chuck Wallery version. Yes. And then it had another version in the different iterations that had the original Chuck Wallery version. Yes. And then I had another version in the 90s.

What the fuck, Chuck? More the fuck, Chuck. Seriously, he's- Exactly. He got to be a crazy person, man. Yeah, he's a crazy old man. Yeah, he's watching too much Newsmax or something whatever they call it. Um, is that Newsmax?

I don't know, whatever. News not facts. Yeah, something like that. But then the second version was in the 90s, was like in 93, 94. So the original version ended in 91. Then in 93, 94, they, a production company rebooted it. Looked much different, fell much different.

The guy on the couch, the Chuck Wollary type, I can't remember his name now, was a comedian. He was a stand-up comedian. So they made it kind of funny. the couch, the Chuck Waldery type, I can't remember his name now, was a comedian, he was a stand-up comedian. So they made it kind of funny. But that only lasted that I can tell for two seasons, and so it was only about 13 of those episodes, and they're not quite as interesting as the older ones. Now, then there was a third version recently.

Back in 2019 and 19, Andy Cohen. How about love? From the Bravo network, went on Fox, and he did a very updated version of, Okay, I didn't even see any of these, I don't think. I think this one, you can find some online. Okay. And they're interesting.

So, the most up-to-date version of this, the one with Andy Cohen, the most recent one, had, I think one season maybe two, and one of the contestants on that season one, that first season, wrote in a note as a fan of the show, talking about his experience with love connection. Okay, he was on there. He was on there. So it's a very short little story, but I think it's interesting and we'll tell it. It's certainly relevant right now. So, uh, hey, Brian and Chrissy

big fan of the, oh, hey, Brian and Chrissy big fan of the show here. Just sponsor. Yeah, paid sponsor. Brian paid him. The lights are on. I paid the power company too, Jeff. Anytime something good happens, Jeff's like, how'd you do that? How did I do that? I don't know. How did I do that? I didn't do that.

Hey, Brian and Chrissy, big fan of the show here. I don't want to give away my name. I'd prefer to stay anonymous if that's okay with you, but I can certainly send some verify and send some proof that I was on the most recent version of Love Connection with Andy Cohen. I just wanted to send a quick note and explain what happened after my blind date. Behind the scenes. I got cast for the love connection and I was on the first season, one of the very first episodes.

So maybe you can go figure this out on your own. I went on a date with a young lady who I found very attractive and there was no doubt that we hit it off right from the beginning. However, after we went on the blind date, which I won't get into here, after we went on the blind date, which I won't get into here, after we went on the blind date, which I won't get into here, we had to wait to contact each other as per the show request. However, in the year, you know, at this time in the year 2018, I'm assuming,

at this time, it was too easy to communicate with people back and forth and figure out who they were given the social media and internet presence Well, I didn't know anything about her before the date after we had such a fantastic date I asked her if she wanted to go on a second date and just not tell the producers She agreed and so we exchanged phone numbers which we were asked not to do. And we decided to go out the very next week. Rule, black breakers. Rule, breakers. But I can see this. Like, how in the fuck exactly are you supposed to not contact someone who just had a wonderful day?

Yeah. If this had been in the night, I'm sure this happened in the 1980s too, right? And they just said they didn't contact each other. Right. Uh, me and this young lady decided to go out the next weekend. And at the end of the night, we ended up spending the night together. This is what the love kid exes for. She has a vagina.

People in the audience. Yeah, I know. They were just any kind of sex. We decided to spend the night together. And we had a wonderful time. It was one of those, once in a every few year relationships where the attraction is palpable. Or the attraction match the action. That's correct.

The sexual attention was through the roof and I was super excited to continue to see this girl. However, after the second date when we slept together, she got shy about breaking the rules and told me she would prefer to wait until our appearance in order to continue the relationship. I said yes to this, of course, I felt like maybe she was just in a mess. Wait, you're gonna taste the know what you're gonna do now.

You're gonna taste the things. He's gonna do anything. That's right. He's like, I'm waiting. I got it. Yeah, I'm waiting. Don't wait for the new next. Yeah, a couple of weeks later, we just, we got called,

a couple of weeks later, was our turn and we got called to the show and we went on and we explained to everybody what a wonderful date we had had. Let me explain that before we had gone to the show and we went on and we explained to everybody what a wonderful date we had had. Let me explain that before we had gone to the show, I had tried to do as much research on this person as possible given I wasn't speaking with her and I had just had a real connection. Yeah.

So I tried to dig in, but I could not find much about her on social media and I couldn't find out much about her on social media. We did not have any friends in in kind. I guess that means we didn't have any friends in common. So the best I could find was a blocked Facebook page with a picture of her and her real name. Well, what her real name, oh, is she not using the real name before? No, I think he what he's trying to say is that he knew that this was her account.

Oh, okay. Yeah, like he that he knew that this was her account. Oh, okay. Yeah, like he was verifying that this was her account. I found her. And that's a real name. This is a first for me. She is a real name, a hot dog. It's a day, remember.

So after the show is over and we agree that we'd like to continue to see each other live on the show, we go backstage, she goes into her room, I go into my room, we agree to meet in a few minutes and we do so to go out for coffee. As we are walking down the street from the studios to find a place to get a beverage, she starts to get really nervous. She's kind of hand-ranging and she's, you know, she's like, she's getting her physical, her physical presence. She's sweating.

Yes, she's sweating. She's throwing up on her shoes. She's shitting herself. She's feeding her pants. You know how good. You know, when you're nervous. As we got to the place where we agreed to have drinks, But she was, she's shitting herself. She'd feed her pants. You know how it goes. You know, when you're nervous. As we got to the place where we agreed to have drinks,

she stopped me to explain that she was married. Oh, no. Wow. What? Yeah. J-j-j-j-j. That's how it was. Right.

You're on a dating show and sleep together. That's right. Wow. Her husband dating show and sleep together. Right, well. Her husband and her thought it would be a good idea to go on the show as a joke. One of her friends had applied and she never assumed that she would be actually picked for the show. But since they were polyamorous, it was okay. So when she got shows and to be on the show,

they decided to go, that she would go on the date and they talked about it. That's why she was sweating and she didn't know. That's why she was sweating and to be on the show, they decided to go that she would go on the date and they talked about it. That's why she was sweating and shitting herself. That's why she was sweating and shitting herself because now she realized, because her and her husband had talked about this and they agreed that they would say something on the date and that would make this particular segment

for the show interesting. However, she had chickened out and decided to carry through with omitting the fact, she had chickened out and decided to carry through with omitting the fact that she had been married. I was blown away, but I really liked this. I decided to go in and have some drinks anyway, figuring the worst. Tell me more about this ball. Something more about this marriage you're all involved in. What's up with this marriage you got yourself all wrapped up in too? So interesting. Do you want to fuck again?

Just one more time. Just one more time. Send your husband school to. I figured at the very least I would have some drinks and possibly get lucky again, but I also knew that I was in trouble because I actually was liking this girl a lot. She proposed that I come back and meet her husband and be open to the idea of dating while married. I didn't particularly like that idea.

I felt like it was. Weird. I felt like it was a recipe for disaster so I suggested we go back to my play without needing the husband and give me some time to think about this she called her husband and we both spoke to him on the phone Hey dude, what's up? So you met my wife? Cool, cool. Cool pits, huh? Yeah?

Yeah. I heard. I heard you were from behind and up and down. Pretty good. Pretty big salon too. I'm all into that. I'll just tell you a little bit more about it. Hey, do me a favor.

You guys video tape later outside and send me a little, send me a little FaceTime message. Let me know what's got. Can I watch from the corner? You want to put the phone up in the corner? Cool, cool. Yeah, no, no, don't worry about it. Hidden quit it.

I'm all good. It's not cool. I just, my wife's like a little regdol. We just pass her around to have you know what I'm saying? Totally no respect for women whatsoever. That's how I convince her to do polyamory in the first place. I really am my cake and eat it too. I'm dating like six other chicks.

She doesn't know either. So, I'm on. I'm dating like six other chicks. She doesn't know either so I'm on I was not much left so I'm going on best learned paradise next month Where do you think I find all this on table? All right, okay, you guys have fun. Love you honey Right Love you honey. Right. Uh, she agreed to go, oh, okay, now I'm jumping ahead of you. Head here. So now they're on the phone with the husband. This was the most uncomfortable conversation I had ever had in my entire life.

As the guy was trying to give ins me, it was cool. Do what I wanted with his wife. We were also on speaker phone in the room, and I was sure that while it was daytime, the people around us could hear it was going. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was like, listen to that call.

So we go back to my house, we go back to my place and we start to get frisky, even though I'm feeling way uncomfortable with the situation, I'm now a little bit lubricated and I really don't give a shit. I'm just interested in this particular moment. Until. Live the day. Until.

See the date. She asks if I would mind if she took some photographs to send to her husband. When I say photographs, I'm not talking about photographs of us having sex. I'm talking about photographs of us together in the same frame kissing hugging that type of stuff. Relationship type photographs. It is at this moment that I pulled, yeah, it is at this point that I pulled my head directly out of my ass and decided this wasn't worth it. I didn't want some other dude having pictures of me with his wife.

Who knows what could happen to stay in age. So I told her politely that I was not comfortable with the situation and I felt it was best that we just give it a rest for right now and give me some time to think about it. I never spoke to her again. Yeah. But I thought that I'd tell you my little funny

love connection story. Wow, that's quite the story. Okay, there you go. And to the best of my abilities I did verify that this guy had actually been on love connection because I'll just explain that he just sent me some like verifying identification. Okay. I'm not gonna share that here you know until for another like 10 episodes so stay tuned. Yeah. That's gonna be our Instagram. Yeah he'll

tune out for the tune everybody does yeah that's gonna be our Instagram post. He'll tune out for the tune everybody does. Yeah, that's gonna be our first Instagram post back to Instagram. Here's Johnny. Yeah. Here's Katie. I.D. She's married.

Here's the Social Security number. Check him out. Check him out on the IRS website. Wow. Yeah, so not all is as it seems on these reality shows, I do have to say that. I mean, we've been talking about this, but who knew?

Who knew? The shenanigans would be going on. She did. That's right. She did. That's right. I mean, she did. She knew she was married the whole time.

Tricked all those producers. You don't think that the producers would do a little bit of fucking homework. Do you think the producers would do a little bit of fun? As much as we do. But I mean, don't you think they have a- We need content. We need content. Send us literally anything. We'll pay for your content. Jeff's cutting chat.

You think that they'd have to do like some kind of search, right? Are you married or it's something just for the safety of everybody involved? Yes. Just make sure that you can... But I mean, I guess, yeah, okay. Maybe they're just married like in the proverbial sense, like not in the legal sense. Maybe. Maybe they just live together, you know, like, who knows?

Who knows all the details of it? They're married, but I thought that was very interesting. Yeah. I don't know. Hey, all you podcast players. It's time for a short commercial break inside of the commercial break. Chrissy and I realize you have a lot of options when it comes to comedy podcasts. And we're ever grateful that you decided to spend this time with us. We'd love to hear from you.

If you have any comments, questions, concerns, or content ideas, please send them along. Go to the website tcbpodcast.com and hit the contact us button. And while you're there, you can listen to any of the audio or watch any of the video that we have ever done. You can also reach us on the tcb hotline [phone]. That's 661, the word best, the number 2, yo. And just to make it absolutely clear that is not a spam text message line, we actually respond directly ourselves.

If you want to see our smiling faces on video, you can watch the full episodes at youtube.com slash the commercial break. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and do us a favor. Leave us a review on your favorite podcast player. Also, we know that commercials can seem like irritations. It's just one of the ways that we pay the bills around here. So if you're ever in the market for any of our sponsors, products or services, please do use the specialized URLs

and or codes that we provide during those commercial breaks so that our sponsors know we're doing a good job. We feel like we have the best listeners in all the podcast universe, your family to us. We provide during those commercial breaks so that our sponsors know we're doing a good job. We feel like we have the best listeners in all the podcast universe your family to us. Thank you for taking the time to listen and we'll be back after these messages to this episode of the commercial break. Ah, this episode is sponsored in part by our good friends at Mint Mobile and yes that includes Ryan Reynolds. He's a good

friend of the show. I know he listens. My in-laws come in every summer and every holiday, and every summer and every holiday we have the same issue. They would pay an arm and a leg to use their international SIM cards here inside the United States. That was until our good friends at Mint Mobile hooked us up with a $15 a month plan that they can use with any existing unlocked phone. Mint Mobile offers premium wireless service at just $15 a month, and the reason they can do this is because they're an online only service.

No expensive retail stores or pushy sales people trying to sell you products you'll never need. Mint Mobile gives you the best rate whether you're buying for one or you're buying for an entire family. All plans come with unlimited talk and text plus high speed data that's delivered on one of the nation's largest 5G networks. Let me repeat that. All plans, including the $15 one, come with unlimited talk, text and data.

To get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month and get the plan shipped to your front to C.B. Thanks, man, mobile for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. And so without further ado, Chrissy, I was trolling on the internet as you do as I do, like to do. I was trolling on the internet. I found many, many love connection episodes. And I'd like to present one to you now. It's one of the weirdest human beings I've ever seen on love connection. And I'm going to give it to you. There it goes. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Oh my God, you can go to youtube.com slash the commercial break to tune on in this Monterday technology, I guess means moving pictures Color TV technology. I'm not sure. You'll hear all the intimate details of a first date And now here's the host of love connection Whoa! Oh my god. That's great. You know, you look at that set that they're on and they probably built that set for like $25,000. It's like some GPS set. Yeah, it's going to be hot. And they messed them made millions and millions and millions of dollars on this show.

Oh, yeah. They were doing hundreds of these a year, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Nothing gets women wet like the car that's converted to look like the badmo vio guys He is a billing clerk and look at that hair that hair that hair whoa It's perm on top and party on the bottom. Yeah, it's everything and he thinks of the sexiest thing a woman could do is wink at it

Please welcome He just winked at the camera with his tongue out I'm good, I'm good, I just bought this suit of JC Penny last night. How do you think Jackson's shoulder pads? He does. So a little wink, we'll get the job done. Yeah, I mean, it's a vivacious thing for a woman to do if they, you know, if they're across the room and they kind of look at you and lick their lips. Oh my God.

You don't have to show us. No. It's just, we can use our imagination. Yeah. He's like, what girls doing that to have him across the room? Who licks their lips across the room and wings? My mom gave me like the four signs of flirting from a woman, right? And one is smiling or giggling while they talk to you, right? Playing with their hair while they're

looking at you, touching you, right? And then licking their lips. That was the fourth sign of flirting. Okay. It's not like they're being too full. So it's. Okay. Funny, it's stimulating. Something that's not like they're being too full. So it's not just winking, it's licking their lips too. Oh, yeah. That has to go with it.

Oh, yeah. The EG says they're being too full. Oh, yeah. That's pretty full. That's pretty full. Do you lick your lips? It kind of stimulates you. We can't.

Exactly. It stimulates your press. I'm nervous for you, but... Would it be confusing if she happened to be out of chapstick or something? I mean... I'm not really looking at the chapstick. I'm more looking at the expression in the... I'm never looking at the chapstick.

This guy's lost already. He has no idea what's going on. Don't worry about your car. Oh, I have a 70 Catalina convertible. And I redone it like the Batmobile. I painted it black and put these big bat signs on it and wings and things like that. And it's a good attention getter.

We need a drive and engine. Oh, I bet it is. Here he comes with his Batmobile again. That guy's a billing clerk. Yeah, he's a billing clerk. Keeps on sticking his tongue out at me. His lips are really dry. Yeah, just drives down the street slowly in the Batmobile.

They make weird noises with his tongue. It's so hot. Yeah. It's for you. Yeah, definitely. I mean, it gets a lot of lower eyes to put it that way. That's the good one. I can show you the woman that Chris had to chew his drum.

Don't forget you're going to pick the woman that you think's best for. There we go. First, Angela, she just returned from spending six years in Germany. She said it. Six years in jail. Six years in jail. Six years in jail.

Or in space. I thought he was going to say just returned from six years in space. She didn't like the men there because they were too shy to approach her. She thinks that American men have a different problem. They're too arrogant. And here's why that's bad. If a guy is good looking, he knows it, and that's fine, but when they start flaunting it, bragging about it, thinking, look at my body.

I can get any woman, they deserve best. That's what really gets me mad. Okay, next Diane, her biggest complaint was... Okay. Okay, bitch. Okay. What do you want? The man is that they don't want one woman.

They want them all. She says it means biggest complaint about her is that she bites her fingernails and she told us about a man who tried to cure her of that habit. I met him once when I was at New York and we corresponded for about six months on the phone and I stopped biting my nails because he was so obsessed with it and I was doing really good and he was like every time he calls how she nails, how she nails, you know, so then we just...

Wow, sounds like a start of a great relationship. Six months. Six months and he's asking you about your nails. How's your nails? How's your nails? How's your bank account? Hahaha. Can I see your phone records? Come on, that's just creepy. Yeah, that should become a little bit more self-conscious. So we haven't spoken for about three months, so I've started to be vegan.

That does, baby, he's chewed down to the nubs, too. Finally, Kathy, you can't stand a man with dirty fingernails or a hairy back. I'm cheating on you. Well, Chris, that one, I can already tell you that much. I haven't even seen his back. And I know that that hair, that rat tail that he's got going on, extends. Extends all the way down.

I'm sure of it. I was family oriented and she says that she wants her marriage to be just like her mom's. Not her dad. This is her mom's. This is my dream is to be just like my mom. My mom worked 40 hours a week, came home, cooked dinner, had children, clean house on weekends.

I want a pamper my husband, I want a pamper my mate. Huh. Huh. Why do I have a suspicion this is the woman Chris is going to choose. And you probably didn't know she was also a nominee for the Supreme Court. Okay, those are the three women who are making fun of women. Yeah, I know. This is a reflection of such a different time.

And now it's so cringe worthy. I wonder if it was then too, and it just was acceptable. What's for women? Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. But, you know, that's the thing too, is that it's almost like, a lot of these comments are like laughed off or, you know, you watch some of the women who have stronger personalities on this show and chuck in his slide little comments and just kind of the way that the men are

always deferred to, like their audience will clap and laugh at the men and you know. Boo, the women. It's not even about booing, it's just like, you know, a woman is like, I they're all, the audience will clap and laugh at the men and, you know, if- Boo, the women. It's not even about booing. It's just like, you know, a woman is like, I, you know, he didn't have anything planned for the date. Ah, I'm so much on. What do you want him to do? What do you want him to do?

He's been way, you know, you're working all day. He's been working all day. Look at his fingers, down to the nubs. And to choose from time, if you'd have voted, who do you think would be the best woman for him? Make your choice now, please. We're going to take a break when we come back.

We'll meet the woman of the crystal. I can hear everything that's here on the list. We'll be back in two. We'll be right back in two. Cheers. Good day, Jokes of Gold today. That's got to be one of the most iconic songs in game show history, right? Yes.

Back. Anjala. Anjala. Anjala. Anjala for the blonde. For the blonde. They always go for the blonde, Chrissy. Who's been in Germany? Who's been in Germany for six years.

But the eyes are too shy. She's on 24. And she's a secretary, so I know. Something's not adding up. She looks like she's 38. I was here both sides, hello to Angela Johnson. Hey Angela, how are you? Stand high, you.

Thanks. This makes self a home back there, and Crystal start us off. Well, I went to? Stand high, thanks. Thanks, let's make Selvin home back there and Crystal start us off. Well, I went to pick her up and she wasn't exactly what I pictured to be in the video. I mean, she looked cute on the video and then when she came in the play, she was nice and everything but she just kind of her hair was turned in white as the date went in. I was just getting lighter and lighter. Why? Chris.

How do I have a feeling this is the first woman you've been with in 10 feet of in the last 12 years? Yeah. And what did you come pick up in the Batmobile? You have a permed mullet. It's literally permed. Right. And when you pick a woman up in the Batmobile, you should be counting your blessings.

That woman has ever agreed to get in the Batmobile. Exactly. Am I right? Yes, you're right. Yeah. And now he's made, he's made, he's made even a per hair. He's judgmental. He is.

That was pretty good. This guy was pretty. She really is. Yeah. And then you know, I just kind of big around this guy. It was all aging. It was all aging. It was all the thighs.

Whoa. Chris. I'm looking to the sky. I'm like, what the fuck Chris? It's possible. Well, how do you look to you, Angela? Well, when I got down to the door, he was very thin, very, very thin, and his hair was kind of straggly.

He had this, like, a 70s type button-up shirt, which really turned me off. It did. The shirt was definitely 70s. Yeah. Well, we're off to a good start here. So now what do you do? Well, I asked her for directions. I said, if you want to go to these places,

get me some good directions. So she wound up getting cockamani directions. We didn't know where we were. We got off of the accident. Cockamani direction. Cockamani, let me tell you. Cockamani, it's called cockamani. Yeah, it's a cockamani.

First of all, second of all, what are you doing, Chris? Well, you want, yeah. If you want to go to these places, you better give me some directions. You think it's better to go to the drives itself? You think I got some kind of special machine here? Here's the thing, if you're going to go out in the date with a young lady or a young man or whatever your preferences,

he, him, they, them, whatever your preferences, you're going on a date and you're the one asking to go on the date. I would like to ask you, they, them, whatever your preferences. That's right. You're going on a date and you're the one asking to go on the date. I would like to ask you, Chrissy, to go on a date with me. You plan it. You plan it. And that includes finding directions to where you're going to go. Yes. Now it's a lot easier this day because you just pop it in your GPS machine.

But even then, you have to get your planet. You got a fucking map. Everybody had a map back then. Yes. I remember my dad had maps everywhere. Yes. They were good. They were in good directions.

He just couldn't call them. There's cockamani directions. We were in good, huh? I want to know, what do you remember about trying to get to these places? Well, I had good directions when we got to these places. What are these places? I told you these.

Exactly where they're going. These places. How many places are you going to go? And why are these places so hard to find? You need to go to that one restaurant we reviewed once on. It's right off of I-7, plenty of parking. To turn a certain way, but no, he had to follow his own way where he thought it was gonna be.

So he had to ask directions to it. Okay, so you get to where, the first place? Well, we get to a little restaurant. It was more like a roach coach. I mean it was somewhere. No, it was not. I would never go to this place. Well, she said it wasn't. It wasn't. It was. It was. It's really. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. We're going to settle this right now. I hear call into order this session of love connection. I was a little worried. Yeah, what is it or is it? Which one is true? She goes, it's a really nice place. It's a buffet.

No. Listen. Wasn't her wasn't it? It was it's really nice. It's a buffet, which he complained about. He didn't like the buffet style. Well, nothing says nice like buffet. Yeah. Come on, Angela. Yeah.

Oh, I don't know. Oh, he don't express that. Oh, this one. Yeah. Did he drive that bat mobile that he's got? No. No, he had a van to match his shirt. It was a 70s type van.

A van? Actually, it looked like he lived in the... That's like pulling up in a mystery machine. Yeah. For a Scooby Doo. Scooby Doo. Before the predator mobiled from... From any nutcrack cereal killer.

Yes. Silence of the lambs. She said he thinks, she thinks, she he thinks he thinks he was living in it. Oh. So you figure he just went down to you know cars or us and said yeah that one that looks good. Definitely definitely that's exactly what it looked like. So where are you now? You're at this this roach coach according to you. You're in a roach coach. I mean that's the food. The food was horrible. I mean it was that I was a food bad for you to Chuck is so bad at this job He's like well, he says the food sucked was it bad for you to we don't care about that

Dig into whether or not he's living in the van that's what we want to know So Chris are you or aren't you living in the van? She's saying you're not. I love buffets. So it's a buffet and you didn't like it. It wasn't what I would call buffet. It was like four different types of food. I mean, she barely ate anything. She had a couple little mushrooms and something else on it.

I don't know what it was, but I'm thinking of my spending a ton of money for this. And then she's eating a few mushrooms for the whole What kind of mushrooms were? Yeah, that's true. It depends on what kind of mushrooms they were How much cocaine did you to consume before you got to the buffet? It's the question Now what do you do after that? She's loaded down with mushrooms and where you go? Then we decide to blow out of that place because I didn't like it and we we decided to go on, she wanted to go to a glass bottom boat. So we get down to the harbor and I find out that there is no glass bottom boat. So just regular harbor. The harbor over here is nothing to see. You can't see. You're telling me. Stick your finger into the water and remember what happened to

it. It's pretty good. She didn't even want to actually go out for that long because she was afraid to get in seasick. Now she picked this date one, you know, and I'm thinking why are we even here if you're worried about being seasick? Well, no, here, yeah, this this is a good but why is she picking the day? That's a great question. Did you or did you not get seasick? He says you got seasick. Did you get seasick? He says there's a glass bottom boat you say there's not Which one of you is right Naturally Angela and since he asked it, I'd like to know what you planned all of this and you're not really into it. What's going on? Well, I'm loading with mushrooms. I got mushroom belly.

I got bad gas. I don't want to go out of the ocean for that long. I'm riding in the back of the assault mobile. What do you want me to do here, Chuck? That buffet is my favorite restaurant by the way. They make four types of food. You get as much as you want He had an idea of doing was totally ridiculous in my opinion I thought what was that? He just wanted to have a little lunch and then go window shopping which was kind of not not my style

So I asked him if you wanted to. Window shopping. Window shopping. Chris. Is he like the grandma of the day here? Chris, have you ever been with a woman before? Including a mother? Like, I mean, did you ever hang out with your mom or grandma? Window shopping is not a sport for first dates. Window shopping is when you've been married for three years.

Or 20. Yeah, and you're running the other way though. Things are a little tight around the belt. So you're gonna go look at windows. And have lunch. And they have lunch. Lunch. The most cute conversation.

It's the most unsquare. The most unsquare. The most unsquare. The most unsquare. The most unsquare. The most unsquare. The most unsquare. The most unsquare. The most unsquare. The most unquare. 60 meal of the day is lunch. Yes. Have brunch, breakfast even. Yes. Cool.

That's some different. I like that. Yeah, mimosas, we'll have some pancakes. Right. I'll eat, you know, pour some whipped cream on your boobs. I mean, I don't know, something like that. Dinner can slide into any. Right.

Right. What? There's not much to do after that. It's like, yeah, well. I have a chicken Caesar. That was a great BLT, So, I guess I'll talk to you later. Go around the Wanda shop. Hey, there's a target right down the street. They don't have windows, but we can pretend. We'll look in the sliding glass doors. We'll see

what they got on sale. Listen, he said sure. And you didn't enjoy it, though. With different company, maybe. Yeah. Well, Well I was right to the heart. I had you wish that you'd had a little lunch and gone to a winter shopping. Yeah, because then I would have been able to get out of there a lot quicker. Oh, you might have been thinking the same thing just in case and you can always, you'll always be cool.

No, I was actually thinking I was going to get laid at that point. I was like, well, it's date sucks, but at least I'm with a woman. And the company. I did give it a bathroom, and I plan on bailing out of the date, but I kinda stuck with her. Wow, that's kinda balsy for a guy with bad,

deep and horrible hair. And a bad mobile. And a van. Did he live there? Now let's take a look and see the audience pick for you. Maybe they know something. No, they don't. No.

They thought Angela was doing the 36th show. Oh, that's it. There's not going to be another woman that's going to get subjected to Chris's terror. Guess who you want to talk about, too. Oh. Sorry, we didn't make a luck connection. Thanks for coming on the show. And we'll see you again. Oh, I hope so.

Yeah, good luck to you. And, uh, Chris, we tried. Yeah. Thanks again. Somebody out there for the child. Yeah. We're going to come back with another kind of a try. We're going to come back with another kind of a try.

Hey, somebody out there for you. You might if I go on another day just in case. I know it's not in the rules, but I got the van parked outside. And I got the van wheel travel. I got a couple hours to kill. Yeah, you think it's anyone in the audience who would like to go have lunch and do some window shopping.

Okay, shopping and lunch. Oh, now they're fantastic episode of the Love Connection. I'd like to thank our dear friend, you know your name, for writing in about your love connection story. If you've got a story to tell us, go to the brand new TCB Podcast.com. Oh, I'm sorry, I actually turned down my microphone way down there.

Did you notice it? No. No. Wow, that was interesting. I think I've had it down for like the last half hour. Are you sure it wasn't your headphone? No, no, no, it was my microphone. Well, let's hope it gets fixed post production.

Or that's another hour of our life wasted. I think I could fix it. I hope I could fix it. I hope I can fix it. It didn't sound very low. It didn't? Oh, interesting. Huh. Well, what do you think down there?

Oh, wait. He says it's low. She says it's not. What do you think? tcvpodcast.com. That's where you go. You'll find out more information about Chrissy and I read all the show notes.

All of the sponsors to specialize URLs and codes are right there on the website and you can contact us if you have questions, comments, concerns or content ideas or do you have a story to tell us send it in through the website or at 661-237-8296. That's 661 the word best to the number 2-Y-O-Y-O. Go ahead, text us or if you're frisky you can leave us a voicemail message and we might we probably will use your voice in a future episode of The commercial break at the commercial break on Instagram YouTube comms slash the commercial break. Thanks so much to all of you who have been leaving kind reviews and messages

We just just keep them coming and I'll send you the money Yeah, all of you who I've paid to send those reviews send some more and We just just keep them coming and I'll send you the money Yeah, all of you who I've paid to send those reviews send some more and Hit me up on my hammock. Don't worry about it. I got you covered You know good things can happen to us too Jeff. That's right. You're not the only one. That's right. Yeah When you're a little concert, when people did you pay people to show up and play your concert? I think you did, my friend. I think you did. I know, of course he is.

I'm just bustin' his balls. It's his turn. I get to bust his balls today. All right, that's all I think I can do for today. I think so, Brian. Chrissy and I are out of the studio officially when you're hearing this, but we'll be back with fresh episodes in just two weeks, so stay tuned. I love you.

I love you. Best of you. Best of you. And best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say we do say we must say. Bye. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man You