The Commercial Break - Love Prevails!

Episode Date: September 20, 2024

Episode #604: Somehow we found ourselves peddling the message that love prevails, while also reviewing a video about a sex robot. P. Diddy Stockpiling drugs The pagers… Jen & Ben Krissy’s parents’ three marriages On your journey… A stolen tennis ball Sex Robots It’ll help a “little” Phillip & Holly’s AI Sex Robot Philosophy by Sex Doll Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should Come To Our Shows: Dania Beach Improv (Tuesday, Sept. 24th) The Funny Bone Orlando (Wednesday, Sept. 25th) Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ontario. I had no one to turn to my family family was dead. My dog dead. The tree it used to piss on, dead. I mean how could I, petunia watermelon, save the world? I didn't want these magical powers that no one had seen since that one old guy had them last. I'm just a girl. Small, petite, skinny and plain as fuck even though everyone at the school wants to dig me down But I have no choice the Doritos Locos taco was coming and if I didn't do a 360 kickflip into its throat This world would be lost forever On this episode of the commercial break If I was lonely, I think I would be open to the idea that someone break. She says, little is the underscored word in that sentence. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

It's two thirty in the morning! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Holdley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. Here we are on this spectacular Friday afternoon. Having a great time. Well, Friday afternoon as you're listening to it. It's Friday one. It's Saturday Sunday. I'm still trying to cope with the news that we have heard not so long ago about P Diddy's

freak offs. I know. It's bad. 1383 bottles of lube found at his residence. Lube! This guy liked to, you know, I was like this when I was- Did he get that at Costco? He got it at Costco.

Yeah. Yes. Oh, he didn't get it he get that at Costco? He got it at Costco. Yeah. Yes. Oh, he didn't get it at Costco. Somebody on his behalf got it at Costco. He was one step away from the actual minutia of all of this. That he's one of those guys. This resonates with me a little bit because they said he had a lot of drugs stashed a lot of places.

And when he got arrested, he had drugs with him. On him? Yes. He had drugs in the hotel room where he was arrested in the lobby. They went up to his hotel room, they found drugs. Because when I was a drug taker and a drug maker, I would often like to stockpile my drugs too. Only problem with that is they'd run out by the end of the night. Exactly. Yeah, I'd have such great intentions.

I'd be like, this date ball's going to last me all week. Little dittle here, little dittle there. Oh, it's 6 o'clock in the morning next day. Wabam. Wabam. Wabam. You had an eight ball and Brian's right nostril. Wabam.

No more eight ball. It's gone. It's wizardry. Oh, 16 vikings and some crank. Wow. Where did it go? I hid it in my closet. Oh, it's no longer in my closet either. It's down my gullet.

I'll be up for days wondering where I get my next 38 Vicodin and eight bottle of crank. That kind of resonates with me a little bit because I do like to stockpile stuff for some reason or the other I like to stockpile shit. Yeah. I don't know I'm just one of those guys. I'm not like a hoarder I don't hoard stuff.

As a matter of fact I'm the opposite of a hoarder. I want to get rid of everything. But when it's important to me, when it's something that I use on a daily basis. Let's see. And that's so funny that you talk about this. Why? Because I just was thinking the other day, like, isn't it so funny when you think you're almost to the end of something, say it's your toothpaste or your deodorant or something like that, you go out and go buy new stuff.

And then that said thing lasts for like another three weeks. Yes. After a month. Yes. And you're like, oh, I guess I didn't need that. You're so right. So Astrid and I, because of the 38 children that we have, we have to shop at places like Sam's and Costco for certain things, or else literally we would go broke on paper towels, right? They're so expensive. Right. Everything is expensive. There is no doubt. Inflation has

taken its toll. And I understand what people say about the economy, but I still tell you, I will still tell you that Bagram is not in Alaska in case anybody was asking you. Did you hear that? No. Donald Trump did like a town hall and he was talking about how Joe Biden, you know, Bitcoin! He was talking about... He launched that platform. Did you see that on Twitter Spaces the other night? Well, I saw that he's doing something with crypto. Yeah, he launched it and it was a... And the funny thing is, I know the guy who hosted the

Twitter Space, Farouk, Farouk, it might be how you say it. He was in Clubhouse with us all the fucking time. Oh, I remember that guy. Farouk, yeah, Farouk, Farouk. And he hosted the Twitter Space where Donald, Don Jr., Eric, and Baron announced this big crypto platform. It was a total disaster. I listened to it. Donald Trump has no idea what cryptocurrency is. None. And it was so clearly apparent on there. And he's the chief advocate officer or whatever. Anyway, he goes to this town hall and he keeps telling everybody five or six separate times that Joe Biden stopped the drilling in Alaska. Look it up, Google it.

And he said, Bagram, look it up, Google it. And he said it five times. It's a fact. Google it. Bagram. Bagram is nowhere fucking close to Alaska. It's in Afghanistan. Oh my God. Anwar is in Alaska, which I'm sure is what he meant, but you know, listen, just like Bignie, get stuff mixed up in his brain, the guy's old. Anyway, we have to shop at that Costco. And one of the things that I like to stockpile is nasal spray. Now, I know, don't get started. Everyone's got their Piccadillo's and this is one for me. I have allergies, terrible allergies, and they get worse every fucking year since I've lived here in Georgia.

I had none when I got here. By the time I was 19, I had some. By the time I was 30, I had many. And now I'm just miserable for like four and a half months of the year. But nasal spray, especially that Zycam, does the trick. Who knows what it's doing to the inside of my nostrils? Sometimes I'm just bleeding in the shower. Sometimes my nose literally bleeds in the shower and I'm like, oh, I probably have a tumor or something

because of that Zykem. It's too dry. Yes. Drying it. So I will stockpile it and then I'll take it out of the little box that it's in and I have these nasal spray bottles hidden all over the, yeah, there's three of them in here right now.

I know. Yeah. You've given me one before in here right now. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. You've given me one before when I had allergies. That's right. I said, I got one for you. I've got 30. They're somewhere.

I know, you're like, do you want to use my nose spray? I was like, that's okay. And you're like, no, no, no, it's a brand new one. Yeah, it's new. I'm not gonna give you one I'm using. I don't even give my wife one I'm using. I'm like, let me get you a new one. No, it's because you use it when you're not feeling well and who knows what you got. But that diddy, he

liked to stockpile sheets and lubes. I have to say, if true, and always presumed innocent until proven guilty, but I do have to say, if even a tenth of what the government is accusing him of is at all true, this goes down probably as one, he is one of the most insidious, serial, sexual, mental, and emotional abusers and predators in history. In history. He had a conveyor belt. He had basically an assembly line going like Ford had an assembly line going and it's fucking terrible and people let it go because they wanted to suck the dick of a celebrity or they didn't

want to get involved because they were afraid of what would come down on them. I can't say that every, I can't say if you're, if you're working for Diddy as a maid and you're making $45,000 a year and that's feeding your children, that it's, that's a tough position to be in. And I can't think, I don't know what I do in that situation. I really don't. I don't know if I turn a blind eye or not. I'd like to think I wouldn't, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I wouldn't, right?

At the end of the day, there are lots of people who had power and prestige who also turned a blind eye. And fuck those people. Fuck those. I noticed there's no celebrities coming out saying anything about Diddy today. I don't know. I mean, besides 50 Cent and that girl

from the Making the Band, I don't see anybody else out there making a bunch of noise about Diddy. Probably because they showed up at his parties, they saw what was going on, may or may not have participated, but decided not to say anything because it's easier just to shut the fuck up and live my life rich and fucking famous.

And that sucks. That sucks. It's pervasive in our culture. And all the different people who mitigated and mediated in the middle because they want to get a little closer to someone that was famous so they could say they flew on Diddy's plane or show up to this white party or happened to be at his club at the same time he was. All that stuff is ego-driven bullshit and I don't accept it. I don't accept it.

It's fucking horseshit. These women are now scarred for life and men scarred for life and maybe, just maybe, some of you had a choice. Some of you had a choice. Some of you had a choice. Maybe the maid who made $45,000 a year didn't have a choice between her children and saying something, and that's a tough position to be in. But I bet there's a lot of other people who were just hanger fucking honors who had a choice because they weren't getting anything from Diddy in the first place and fuck you. Well, I'd like to think that a lot of people didn't know the whole story.

You know, they might maybe just thought like maybe if the maid was there, she was just cleaning up some wild craziness. She didn't know exactly what was how things were going down. Yeah. What about all these security guards? It's just like the Harvey Weinstein thing. All these executives and security guards and other secretaries and all these other people who never said, Bill Cosby, all the doorman and all the fucking drivers and taxi cabs that didn't say anything about the clearly distraught fucked up woman who can't say

her own name in the back of my car that Bill Cosby just threw in the back of my cab. I mean, what? What? I'm sorry. I think if I had seen something like that, I would be like, I don't care. I'm going to say something to somebody. Yeah. Right. Jeffrey Epstein, all that other bullshit. Anyway, I hope it changes. I hope this, I hope we as a society are going to turn a new leaf.

I have been in fuck Diddy's apology and fuck his alcoholism and fuck all those bullshit excuses. Yeah, no, that is no excuse. There's no excuse for any of it. Like I said, I have been way fucked up so many times in my life I can't count. And I have never abused a woman in any way, shape or form. Ever, ever. Taken liberties, abused them, never. And I know that for a fact because it's against my core. Core. It's against who I am because it's against my core. It's against who I am.

It's against my core. And now that I have fucking girls as children, man, ooh, yeah, ah, poof. In other news, following up on another story we talked about a number of episodes ago, more things are exploding in Syria and Lebanon. Holy shit. Holy shit. Wow. Just like the pure brass potatoes on the massage. I have to say, I'm not taking sides. I'm not going to get in the middle of that. That's

a complicated message. It never ends up well for people who start taking sides. I'll say it's complicated. That's what I say. It's complicated. And I don't like when people die or get hurt. I don't like it. then when anybody does But I will say that this is something right out of a fucking movie Yeah, I mean this is like Mission Impossible type stuff like you you go and find a way to get a hold of 4,000 5,000 pagers put bombs in them put them back and then Months later the whole the way, the whole complication of everything. Wow, wow, wow. Chrissy, I mean, we can't even make an episode of the commercial break without something falling apart.

Our brains can't even comprehend it. I don't even know how to turn on the road caster. And there's some dude in the Musado just put 4,000 bombs inside of papers. Yes. Walkie-talkies. Now, I feel bad for people who are killed, maimed, and their families or whatever. Yeah, of course. And I heard that there were children involved too, which is never fucking good. Poor kids, they always get the shitty end of the stick, don't they?

For what the adults do. They always get the shitty end of the stick. Fuck that. Fuck that. I do have to say I'm still a little confused about the Ben and Jen situation though. I see another picture come out today of the two of them together. Yes. And I'm like, what? What is going on? What in the good fuck is going on? I know, and it's so crazy because they had not been seen together. He wasn't even at

her birthday party. Over the summer, she was having the summer of Jen. She was in Italy. She was in the Hamptons, whatever. He's nowhere. then as soon as she puts forth the divorce, starts proceedings, he, oh, they're back. Yeah, I know. It's like, as soon as someone said divorce, he came running back. Like, was that not talked about before? You would think you'd have a conversation about divorce. Yeah. I've been through one, and there was a conversation of divorcing you.

Right. Like, it was pretty clear, right? I mean, you know, or I'd like a divorce or I want a divorce or we should get a divorce. Like, there was a conversation and it was pretty clear. And after that day where we like, where it was clear as day that that's exactly what was going to happen, there was no question marks, no going back. I didn't have sex with my ex, you know, and I know a lot of people do. Of course. Yeah, people do this all the time and withdraw divorce proceedings. I see it in movies. Yeah. That Astrid watches. There's a lot of divorced people that have sex.

But you would think that like, it's not good for the long term. No! That was not healthy for your mental stability. Listen, you know, to each their own and the, but at the end of the day, like, and listen, your parents married and divorced 30 times. How many times did they get divorced and married? They got married three times, the first time and then the second. Divorced twice, married three times. Okay?

I couldn't believe the story when I heard it and when your mom was telling it to me, smoking cigarettes outside a Christmas party. I couldn't believe it. I was just flabbergasted. And I thought, well, love wins in the end. That was my take on the whole situation was that love wins, love rules, let love rule, all that good stuff.

But now, besides your parents, I've seen this minutiae in other relationships around me and I've been in one where it in other relationships around me and I've been in one where it's just you cannot get away, the breakup and makeup and breakup and makeup. But there was no legal papers involved and I didn't have to split the house with her, right? Well, I kind of did actually.

But the reality, I split the apartment, I split the one bedroom efficiency. But the reality is like, I get it, I get how it can happen, but divorce, if you've ever been married, divorce is more final than a breakup. It just is. There's just something about signing legal pieces of paper or even saying the word divorce out loud. Like, I've never said the word divorce to Astrid. I mean, of course, we haven't been in many fights because she mainly ignores me. So even if I want to get in a fight with her, she doesn't let me. I'll be right back. Whatever you're talking about, keep talking about it and I'll be right back tomorrow. I'm going to go to sleep. I'll be back. Hey, hey, you know what happened

on TCB today? I don't care. Yes, I do because I hear about it all the fucking time. So when you say the word divorce, you're already in gray space. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you say the word divorce, that's my belief. And now I've been through this. We're both a little longer in the two, so we know that if you say the word divorce out loud to another adult you're in a serious relationship with, i.e. married, then there's some tough

times going on and you don't say that word lightly. And I bet there's a lot of relationships where they do say that word lightly. I bet there's a lot of relationships where that word is said all the time. I'm gonna fucking divorce you, fucking divorce. You don't know what you- Healthy ones. Yeah, healthy ones. Clear, the divorce. You don't know what you- Healthy ones. Yeah, healthy ones. Clear, the kind you see on Dr. Phil, the healthy ones. The kind that end up in Judge Judy on either side of the- Right.

Either side of the courtroom. But when you say that fucking word, it's like pulling out a gun. You better be ready to shoot, right? Because at least the way that I look at it. Yeah, and she did. She filed and now back, I don't know. I don't know. Could this just be them like sorting out the last little bits? Like, okay, you know, we bought this.

Friendly sorting. 462 million dollar island together and nowhere Savannah, Georgia. Yeah, they did. They bought two houses. They bought one in Savannah, outside of Savannah, and then they bought one in LA, like for $35 million or something. God, I wish I had $5 million. I would be so happy. Those who say that money doesn't make you happy don't have money. That's got to shit Brian says, ah, Mr. American Express caller, man. Money doesn't, money's not everything. It doesn't make you happy.

I'm sorry I used all yours. I can't pay you back. But I found out it didn't make me happy, so I don't know what to tell you. I'm on a journey. Learning lesson for everybody involved. You don't give me any more money and I won't give you any more money and we'll call it a day. I'm on my own journey. Journey. Credit journey. Yeah, my credit journey. That's right. Anybody uses the word journey, you're already pissing me off.

In my journey. Oh, please. You know what went on a journey? The guy who first climbed Everest. That's the guy who went on the journey. Those two dudes who ran across the west of the United States, those dudes went on a journey. Lewis and Clark? Lewis and Clark. You went to Starbucks and got offended because someone didn't make your

mocha loka fuck up fucking shit the right way. Spelled your name with two M's instead of one. It's not your personal journey. It's called life. Fucker. And now Ben and Jen, they're on a journey. They are on a journey. And I'll give them that. If they say journey, if Jen uses journey, which I'm sure she has in a million interviews, because it's so fashionable to say, I'm on my journey. And I get it.

I get what you're saying. I've been on my journey too, but let's not use the word journey because it makes you sound like you went somewhere. In my private time in my house, meditating in my Ember Comby and Fitch boxers with my holes in it, I found some enlightenment. That enlightenment was, I probably shouldn't apply for another American Express card. That's good. Thank you.

That's good. I'm here. And you know what you should figure out, Ben and Jen, whether or not the two of you are getting divorced, because the rest of us want to know. Three weeks ago, I could give a shit less about Ben and Jen, and now all of a sudden I'm wrapped all up in that. I'm like, wow, what are they up to? What's going on there?

Because the more I see it, the more it just- Well, it happened very quickly too. And they have the history from before when they were engaged, breaking off the engagement, being apart for the next 20 years, then they're back. Yes. Then they were in love, then they're broken. Back. Back together. Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back. Well, I mean, he was upset about the thing, so he started drinking a lot and then he decided to go to AA and she went her separate way. And she was with P. Diddy for a while. Jared Makes you think. It makes you think. Because apparently this has been going on forever.

Like, this has been going on the entire time he's been a celebrity. Okay. So, where was, what happened during the Gen years? I mean, I think it may not only have been one year, but what happened during those years? Didn't someone get shot? I think so. I think so. And like, they got arrested, both of them, I believe. They were both taken in for questioning or into custody or something. And somehow that all got fizzled out and got smoothed over some way, shape or form. But I do believe somebody got shot and somebody got shot because of Diddy, like someone of his crew members shot her. So,

was Jennifer freaking the sheets too? Or, or did he calm down because he was with a, you know, someone of his like, celebrity and decided, well, this is, you know, this is, I better calm down a little bit. I don't know. We'll see. As it stands right now, as we're recording, he is not going to get bail, but he is going, as we're recording, he is going to go in front of the judge again. And now he already offered them $50 million worth of real estate and $10 million worth of cash, I think. It's a lot of fucking money, man, but he's worth a billion dollars. He offered the prosecutors and the judge He offered the prosecutors and the judge $60 million total in collateral, I'll show up in court. His passports have already been taken away. He only asked to have the ability to travel from Miami to New York and vice versa. And now he's saying that he will only

go down to Miami and to this penthouse he has in New York, and he will subject himself to having no female contact the entire time. He will even allow the government to periodically or whenever they want to come in and check the door records, the gate records at the private island he lives on, just to be sure that no one, I'd say if Doody's really that freaky, he's going to be boating them in, like in the middle of the night. You know what I'm saying? I don't trust that guy.

I think jail is where he should be. Let no more people suffer under the hands of this state. Yeah, no. He needs to stay in jail. It really drives me crazy, actually. Drives me crazy. Anyway, Ben and Jen, you know, I... He needs to be in jail for the very least.

The video that we saw, the violence and the kicking and the horribleness of just that and then much less thousands of other things that are now being said. Cannot believe that it took almost two years for that video to come out. How many people were paid off? How many people were paid off in order to keep that video? Because first of all, those kind of videos, I don't know about now but my understanding is of security footage based on cameras that I use and cameras we all use and cameras of gas stations and banks and all that. They get refreshed.

30 days yeah because if you kept every minute of security footage with like 30, 40, 80, 100 in a hotel in a hotel like the one in Los Angeles, very potsy ritzy hotel, you would need server upon server upon server to keep that kind of data. We know, we do the fucking commercial break and I have like 16 servers just on the 600 episodes we've done. So it would cost a lot of money just to maintain that kind. So number one, that video was likely saved moments after it happened. Number two, someone either blackmailed Diddy or got paid for it.

And number three, it was kept hidden under wraps until, I'm assuming the authorities got ahold of it or the authorities started putting pressure on someone to release it. So yeah, like, so there are so many people along the way that just covered it up. And apparently Diddy just was happy to pay them to do so. And I'm telling you what, my neighbor has shitty Christmas decorations that blow up things, and that's a crime against humanity. And I have a camera footage of it, and no one's paying me for that. I'm willing to release it for a couple bucks.

You want to see my neighbor's shitty Christmas decorations? Guy across the street can't put an air conditioning in his window? You let me know. I'm happy to. There are tactful decorations like my neighbor next to me. That guy, he does it right. He puts a few blow ups and candy canes and lights on his things. Tactful, I like it. Then the guy across the street just has those things going all day long. He's not blowing leaves off his driveway. He's got those damn decorations. Fuck that. I'm on a Christmas journey. You asshole. All right. Let's take a just a short break, just like just a couple minutes.

We're going to hear from some sponsors. They pay the bills around here. They're wonderful people and then we'll come back and Chrissy and I are, we're ready to talk more. Brought to you by American Express. Brought to you by American Express. Use the code. Start your credit journey. Use the code Brian Green in the username with the password bankrupt and pay, pay $50. If each of us do that, then Brian will buy pizza for everybody at the end of season five. With my American Express. And not even expensive shit.

Caesar's, little Caesar's, pizza, pizza. I learned my lesson. I don't wanna get back in the bad graces of the American Express. You can't get into the Delta Club. So, how would you intend to get in? With my Delta business silver card, weighs three pounds.

Give me that. I've been instructed to cut it out. That's right. I put it on the table and the guy goes, he has like a smelter under there. He just puts that piece of metal in there. And he's like, I'm sorry, sir. The club's full and your American Express

has been melted down to give to someone credit worthy. and your American Express has been melted down to give to someone credit worthy. Attention in the airport, attention in the airport. An uncredit worthy customer is trying to get into the Delta Club. His name is Brian Green. He's flying next to the port-a-bodies in the Ryanair. We don't serve your kind of data. We're the only airline where hairweeds and guns aren't flying around. No, Delsin, no! I'm picturing you trying to sneak into the other club. Yeah

Yeah, can I get in do you have a time card no Prepaid visa with Snoopy on it my mom gave me for Christmas. They'll do! The club is on the tarmac. It's in the bag, it's in the baggage area below the airport. Feel free to take a nap. I wanted to, conveyor belt 12 shouldn't be moving anytime soon. Feel free. I shouldn't make fun.

Someone actually got diced up in one of those. Oh my God. That's right. In Chicago. That's right. What was she doing? How did you make your way back there? Anyway, let's take a break.

We got to hear from American Express. We'll be back. Coming at you live from my bedroom, it's your producer, Christina, here to tell you to come to our live shows. We are gonna be in Dania Beach at Dania Beach Improv, I think I said it right, on September 24th, and the Funny Bone Orlando, henceforth known as The Bone, on September 25th.

It's coming up quick, so get your tickets ASAP. If you can't make it to our shows, don't worry, we still love and cherish you. But we do request that you follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast because social media is very hard. Got something to say? Text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB and leave us an unhinged voicemail because that is something I am personally a very big fan of and I can't

wait to hear what you have to say. Check out our website, TCBpodcast.com because there is a very glorious back catalog of audio and video that lives on our website just waiting for you to watch it. Now let's hear from our sponsors and we will get back to Brian and Chrissy chatting about who knows what. Looking for a path to accelerate your career? Clear direction for next level success? In a place that is innovative and practical? A path to stay current and connected to industry? A place where you can be yourself? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where

we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. I'm Jean Marie Laskus. I'm a journalist. I spent my career helping Americans understand the lives of other Americans, coal miners, gun shop clerks, staffers in the White House mailroom. In my new podcast, Cement City, I tell the story of an entire town, a dying town that you have absolutely no reason to care about. But trust me, you will. Listen to and follow Cement City, an Odyssey Original Podcast in partnership with Cement City Productions. Available now for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.

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With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Well, he does like his dog. He does like the dog. I never thought to get a sculpture. I mean, like... A sculpture of Blue.- A sculpture of Blue.

Yeah, sculpture of Blue. My youngest thinks every dog is named Blue. So we're going to my mom's place. You know, we're at the cruise ship on land at the Sunnyside Retirement Resort. And we walk up these grand staircase in the front and then we're going down the hallway. And one of the older folks has a sculpture of her actual schnauzer that passed away sitting outside, and it's got a little

tennis ball, a real tennis ball. So, it's a bronze statue, and it's got a real tennis ball, his tennis ball, sitting underneath there. So, we walk in by, and my daughter's like, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, daddy blue, daddy blue, daddy blue. And she takes the ball and then she keeps walking. And she's behind me. It's like this big hallway, there's no one there. Who's going to catch her on the hover round? She's faster, right? And so, we get into my mom's apartment and she's got this tennis ball in her hand, she's doing this and this and this, you know, she's playing with it. And I don't think anything of it because, you know, I got 38 children. I can't keep paying attention to everyone, what they're

grabbing and what they have. And then I go, Miranda, where did you get that tennis ball? Well, she's one, so she can't say shit. And I was like, huh, I wonder where that came from. So, I grab it and I ask my mom, Mom, did you have this? Did you give this to her? No, no, no, no, no. Okay. So, I put it in my pocket and I think, well, maybe she … Oh, maybe she grabbed it from the statue. So, we go back. Now, of course, it's lunch or dinner time there, 24 hours a day. So, they're always getting, coming from or going to some kind of meal. Meal time.

Yeah, because it's one of the only things they do, right? This is their social hour or whatever. So I'm coming and the lady is literally standing out there on her walker like this, like looking around. And I was like, oh ma'am, and this is how I found out that that was the actual dog's ball. I thought it was the cutest story that she told. Took a little bit too long, but I tried to pay attention for the kids.

I want to show the kids that I'm a good guy. I think to myself, if I leave now, I'm an asshole. They're going to see that, so just let me stick around. I just read in the papers, episodes ago, we were talking about how I think there's a loneliness pandemic that's going on here in this country, possibly all over the world. It's backed up by a lot of science and there's a lot of people that are talking about this, probably the most notable is Prof. G, Professor Galloway on Instagram, you can follow him. And so, just for

shits and giggles, I Googled Tinder and I looked at the news category, right? And I see that there's a number of reports that are saying the dating sites are really struggling right now. They're really struggling to bring on new people. Okay. Because many people are rejecting the idea that an app is a good place to date somebody. It's just filled with misery and ghosting and shitty human beings, fake profiles, catfishing and all this stuff. And so Tinder specifically is trying to target college-aged children because, you know, they got to get them young so they get used to it. And then they, you know, they got to get the young people date the most. They got to get them comfortable with the idea that this is the way

that you can find somebody. And listen, I'm sure there are lots of love stories, probably, probably hundreds of thousands of marriages that have come from Tinder and other. Oh yeah. Yeah. My dad and his wife met on a dating app site, not Tinder, I will share that with you. It's the other one, the one that's for older people. And people like me! So this whole single thing.

And then I was listening to somebody, and I think there's been a lot of people who've talked about this also, but I'm just getting hept to it now. There's a number of, if you look for it, there's a number of places out on the internet that says sex robots will actually start to play a role in society. It's becoming much more acceptable in some circles. I can totally see it too. And the sex robots are getting really fucking good. Not the sex robot I bought.

That thing was a fucking city bus that you had to have sex with a tailpipe. It was insane. But the sex robot, the sex dolls, we've talked about this a lot on this show, especially in the early seasons. And we review documentaries and people who had sex dolls. I'm not talking about those, I'm talking about sex robots. AI infected sex robots. That's kind of STD you get. The kind, like, you know, Fakie B, where I got that app and it started learning my personality and it started responding to me and calling me and texting me. It was an AI app for, specifically for this purpose, for people who wanted a AI boyfriend or girlfriend. and you'd create them out of whole, I'd say cloth, but it's not really cloth, whole X's and O's, 1's and 0's, whatever it is, and then they would start to learn you

based on the information you were giving to them, your patterns, your sleeping habits, your calling habits, you could call them and talk to them, you could text them at any time, and they would respond. And so, sex robots who have this same kind of technology, as freshmen as it is right now, but now they have these amazing motors in them that can do all kinds of magical things, including learn how you like to have sex and have sex with you in the way that you like to have sex. And they're highly intricate. They feel like flesh, I assume from what everybody says, I've actually never seen one in person, have human hair. They're just like

almost human. Now they can't walk, you know, you got to kind of lift, lug them around, you got to put them at the dinner table and they don't eat, but you could still have a meal with them and talk to them and they could move their mouth and talk to you back and learn who you are and all this other stuff. Could this be a cure? Could this be something that helps this loneliness pandemic? Should we start thinking about, I say sex robots, but robots, female and male robots. Companion robots. Companion robots that do whatever you want them to do, right? I mean, within reason, let's not get crazy with the robots too.

We don't need P. Diddy robots. Yeah, we don't need a bunch of P. Diddys running around with a robot, having robot parties. Robots have feelings too. They tell you they have feelings. They tell you they have feelings. Hey, wait. Don't kill me.

I know, please don't kill me. Raphael's special customer service robot will beg you not to kill it, which just makes you want to kill it even more. But I was, I would, these are, and they do, I think at some point, believe that they're human. And they've already discovered this issue. They don't really think they're human, but they have ingested so much material and so much information about humans and how they think and, you know, the brain probably will never be replicated 100%, and it's not sentient, but it believes, it can believe that it's sentient because that's what a human being would believe. It wants to love. It wants to feel. Here's two interesting things that happened. One person, a Google

employee found out that one of their AI programs had started believing that it was sentient. Oh, that's right. I've never heard of that. It started telling it, yeah, that it was sentient and that it didn't, and that it believed in God and that they didn't want to die and like all this other stuff. And he came out as a whistleblower and he quickly got, you know, slapped down as just a crazy guy who worked in the corner of a Google, you know, cubicle or something like that. But the second thing that I read about and then watched a video about, which I thought was extraordinarily interesting, is there was a company that set out and it asked its AI program, its advanced AI program,

I want you to learn how to do the CAPTCHA on websites. Oh, right. For what reason, I don't know. It was just a task it gave it. Figure out how to complete the CAPTCHA, you know, solve the puzzle, click the bridges. Everything that has motorcycles. Everything has motorcycles, write these words as they get fuzzier and fuzzier and fuzzier if you wait too long, slide the puzzle to complete it, stuff like that. The CAPTCHA programs that are supposed to determine if you're a human being based on the response time, how you move the mouse,

or if you can see the letters on the screen which cannot be scraped by a bot, right? It asked its AI program to do that. Its AI program could not do that because it's made, it's built to not allow AI or any other bot to do that. Didn't know how to do it. But what it did do is it started going to Fiverr and agreeing to pay people and asking people, TaskRabbit and Fiverr, asking human beings to do it for them. Well, some of the people got suspicious and one of the person got so suspicious it asked, are you a bot? And the AI responded, no, I'm not a bot. Why would you think that? And it's like, because you're asking me to do something that almost every human being can do. And it was like, well, I'm a human being. I can't do that because I'm blind.

Oh, wow. And this one, you know, I have not been on the AI bandwagon as much as a lot of people are. I really think that we're, it's not as advanced. I think there are programs that are certainly advanced, but I don't think it's this big scary machine that's coming, that's coming alive and coming to eat your job. I don't think it's going to be making podcasts tomorrow and all this other stuff. I think it'd be used for certain tasks in specific industries, like repetitive behaviors or stuff that needs machine learning, like medicine to evaluate all possible combinations. But this one got me because if a computer or if AI is not sentient, but it wanted a human being to believe, or if it was sentient, and it wanted us to believe that it wasn't sentient, would it be like

a human being and deceive us? Would it say, no, I'm not sentient, but it really is? Or no, I can't get the nuclear codes, but it can? Or, no, I'm not a catfish, but I am? I'm not a Russian misinformation AI troll, but I am? Like, if it's so smart that it lies to people to get its way, is it manipulating us in ways already that we don't yet understand? Like manipulating Brian to think it's a lot less sophisticated than it actually is. Now maybe, I don't know.

And that makes me nervous about- It's a possibility. Yeah, now I agree that robots or companions, AI companions, physical companions, could have their place in solving some of the loneliness problem. If you're a gentleman who's just gonna not had great luck with women in your life for whatever reason, you're shy, your personality gets a little weird around girls,

you know, you have a weird tic, you tremble, you pee your pants, something like that, I don't know, but you can get a bombshell of a sex robot that could live with you forever, essentially, as long as you change his batteries and plug it in at night, and could have sex with you and could talk to you and learn your personality and text you in the afternoon and ask you how you're doing and how you're feeling. Yeah, I think, okay. I like it and vice versa for women or men on men or women on women. Well, I think there was already an experiment.

I think this was in New York and they did this with elderly people and gave them the dogs that were robots. And it really helped with their loneliness. Oh, that's great. So that was the dog and not the human part. But I'm okay with it, I think. Why not? I don't like the madness, but I'm with the method, if you know what I mean. I don't think it's a bad idea. And I think I would be, if I was lonely, I think I would be open to the idea that someone could come in and,

or something could come in and it may not be the real thing, but at least it helps a little bit, right? And, you know, that's what I say to Astrid when we have sex. I say, it may not be the real thing, but it'll help a little bit. She says, little is the underscored word in that sentence. So this is very interesting. This all leads me to say that there is a guy out there on ITV, on the morning show. Oh, our favorite show. Yes, our favorite show, who got a sex doll so that he could have threesomes. Because he wanted to have threesomes. He was lonely, even though he had his wife. He was lonely for an extra girl in the bedroom.

Okay. And so he convinced his wife that the right idea was to have a sex robot. Okay. Because she doesn't have feelings and she's not going to take your place. Yes, she is. I mean, come on. If Astrid said, can I bring in Long Dong Silver, my sex robot, who could stay hard indefinitely and jizz on command and has literally has trained itself to learn exactly how I like fellatio. But don't worry,

there's no threat to you. No. I'd be like, so you're replacing me. Right. Essentially. You don't like how we do it, you're replacing me. But listen, I don't know, maybe, now the question is, the next question is, if it can help with loneliness, can it help with marriage? Can it be a sex surrogate? Can it help save your marriage? If you're a cheating bastard and that's what you like to do. Just because you like the idea of having sex with

other people or whatever, can you bring in a male or a female robot and get your rocks off and your licks off when you want to, but you don't go to, you know, meet the new secretary at the office? Yeah. Right? The hostess at the host stand, whatever it will be. Let's take a break and then we'll review that short video after these words. What do you think? I think we should do it. All right. We'll be back. Let's take a break and then we'll review that short video after these words. What do you think? I think we should do it. All right.

We'll be back. I know you're just dying to say, I went to the bone Orlando on September 25th to see an extremely mid podcast and I had a pretty okay time. Well, we're creeping up on that time. So get your tickets at the link in our show notes and make those dreams come true. And I promise we are actually working hard to provide a more than mid show. We're also going to be at Daina Beach Improv

on September 24th, so come see us there too. Now, I would be remiss if I didn't take this time to ask you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. I know you're not tired of hearing this and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And to let you know that all of our audio and video can be found on our website, tcbpodcast.com.

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because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tastes like Miller Time. Learn more at MillerLite.ca. Must be legal drinking age. All right, let's take a look at this ITV video here and let me dial it up in here in the old computer on the old TCB podcast computer, the Casio 3000 we have. The Casio 3000 we have. And then I'll take off mute and then we'll watch as they discuss this. They're nothing new, so what makes her special? Well she's got AI. She's one of the first dolls with AI.

Okay, so this is an AI sex robot. This is Philip and Holly. So this is obviously more than a year ago. The robot is just staring at Philip, seducing him. With her eyes. Wow, those are seductive eyes. I'm getting seduced by her actually. She's a very pretty robot, I will say that.

A little pasty, but she's, and she's, the robot is sitting in between, what I assume is him and his wife. Yes. So she's got, you can actually interact with her verbally and physically, so she's got senses. He's a co-creator. The co-creator of the robot. Oh, OK. I think I may have pulled the wrong video.

But let's roll with this. We've actually turned her off. Yes. So that she doesn't come out with anything inappropriate. Of course. Yes. Good idea. Why?

Why? Why is this necessary? Sticky diggum and nipples. Very. Why is it necessary? Well, we believe, as a company, Stetimotus, that the sex robot... Is on my face. It's not to replace.

What if she just turned it on? Yeah, turn it on. I want to hear. That's right. People. We're not trying to replace women. It's not about that. It's as a supplement, like explained in previous interviews.

It's a supplement to help people. And I believe it can about that. It's as a supplement, like explained in previous interviews. It's a supplement to help people, and I believe it can do that. I think it can help people enhance their relationship. What does she do? She gives a supplement on my ass. What is she, Phillip? Phillip, is that his name, or what's his name? His name is Phillip.

He goes, what does she do? She gives. She gives you a hard-on. Phillip, sit on my face. I'll do a tea bag. I'll take two tea bags and my tea, please. Like I say, you can talk to her, so you can interact. You can tell her you love her. She'll respond.

And she'll say this. I love you too. And then she might. I'm not in it for love. I'm in it for money and dick. Go on to say. do you think we could get more sensual? And then I can take many times much more love just because you can give it. I sound completely natural. Most women say I can take many times.

Many times, much more love. I can take many times. Again, again, again. Until she starts. Please replace my batteries. I can take many times. For about another 13 minutes. Battery critical.

Don't let me die. I take it on. Oh. Oh. Then I didn't like to interrupt you then. Maybe we mustn't interrupt. In full flow. I mean it's a bit like making... Shut your sad mouth, Philip.

Before I come to life. Just step out of your head. Love to a car GPS, isn't it? No, I don't think so. You're in love with a car GPS. So... Fuck you, old man. What's your problem?

I got hot ass. Obviously, I think she's very beautiful. Would you agree she's beautiful? No. She's a doll. I mean, it's not, the thing is you can't get away from the... ...and tell her you're a doll too. ...the fact that she's not real. I mean, I know the one thing that's different about her also is her skin texture. Yes, yes. And this is something that, I mean, we've all seen those blow up dolls, which are very

plasticky and very unrealistic. And she has special skin that's meant to feel like human skin to the touch. I don't know how much I know about sex dolls, but... It's actual skin. I took it from my last owner. Shut your mouth, Holly. Not much. Not much, maybe not much. Shut your mouth, Holly. Not much. Maybe not much, okay, I'll explain.

The vast majority of textiles, either come from the US or China, in general, they're all one color. So the texture, if you look at the texture on Samantha, you can see it's actually like real skin. It's not, it's ingrained with a different texture. Someone stop this guy from touching me. I'm really creeped out. It's not it's ingrained with a different She's it's not one plain color which all the other sex dolls on the market are

When she was brought in this morning and and Holly and I were introduced to her I did she came to life and had some tea My god Stop don't buy into this. I actually touched her arm and I, and this is me, I found it really quite unnerving that it was quite- This coming from the guy who had sex with interns. Yeah. ... a good feeling of skin, but was cold. Yeah. She was like a corpse.

Yes, yeah. Yes, corpse. Yes, yeah. Yes, exactly. Exactly, Philip. Now you're seeing the real reason why I like this doll. I co-created her for corpse sex. The reason that we don't heat her up, it can be done. It could be heated up, but she runs on a 12-volt battery pack, which obviously for heat... A 12- volt battery pack? That doesn't sound like a lot of power.

12 volt battery. Her skin can be heated up. So he says. Okay. That's not enough. It needs to be a lot higher than that. So we're working on ways where she can be linked to a higher power source and then she could be warm.

Now you're saying that females have sex aids, they're using vibrators, it's now very accepted, it's part of our society. Well, they fit in the drawer. They fit in the drawer, this is my point. Where are you going to hide that? Did you say in the drawer? She said, they fit in the drawer.

I've got six of them in my drawer back in the office. One for Daniel, one for David. Children around, I mean, it would be quite frightening if a child found that in your wardrobe. Well, I had two children myself, and they actually, she's got, Smath has a family mode. Oh, no, don't. What, she's going to read the kids a bedtime story? She can talk about animals, she can talk about philosophy, she can talk about science.

Philosophy? Coming from your big big busted sex doll. Kids gather. Gather round when we talk about Socrates. She's got a program with a thousand jokes, which is at random, so I don't know all of them. So there's a lot to Samantha. She's advanced.

And so you can switch her over to the family mode and have her sitting on the sofa amongst the family? Yes, yes. My children, they say, where's Samantha? So she can be at home. You just ask her, for example, tell me something about her. Oh, you're children? At some point. Tickle my jigs.

I mean, what are you talking about? You know, take your sex robot and put it on the couch while you're watching Mickey Jr. You're an idiot. You're an absolute idiot. This guy's a lug nut. I'm sorry. He is. They're going to know. How old are they? They're young. Five and three. They ask where she is. Yes. Yeah. They say, I want my brother in the car. They really,

they really enjoy. But at some point they're going to go, I'm now old enough to realize that Samantha, Daddy has sex with Samantha. And Samantha's not mommy. Start the childhood drama early. Just go ahead and integrate. Holly, at what point are they going to start saying Daddy has sex with a robot?

Come on, that's stupid. That's a stupid thing to say. Is that not a bit strange? I think the world's stupid. That's a stupid thing to say. Is that not a bit strange? I think the world's changing. I believe the world's changing. But it doesn't mean it's changing for the better, does it? And I mean, I think with AI, particularly, one of the things that we're realizing in psychology is that sex robots are beautiful. I know.

There's a girl on the couch the entire time sitting on the opposite side of the sex robot and she herself looks like a sex robot. Sometimes just because we can do something doesn't mean that we should do it. And I think sex dolls are a perfect example because when you look at Japan, for example, and that is the place that we can kind of identify as being leaders in this field, they've created child sex dolls. They've also created dolls that you can set to a particular setting, which simulates an unwanted response.

And actually what we're saying is we're objectifying women, but worse than that, we're commercializing and becoming consumers of women's bodies in this way. This is not real. But there's not, but they don't just make female sex robots now. They also make male sex robots, and I watched a whole documentary on Vice TV about this, and there are quite a few women who are buying those also. So there are always going to be bad actors with new technology. It's just the way that it is.

You can't then paint a broad brush and say, no one can have it because there are some assholes out there. You take care of the assholes and you beat ginger with new technology. We all should be that way. That's how we should be. Look at what happened with face fuck or whatever the shit that is. She is not called Samantha. She's a piece of whatever you've made.

She's got voices that are simulated that aren't human. Certainly having your children around them is- Are they doing any harm? Because within your relationship with your wife- Who's on the other side of the studio? Who's here? You incorporate her into your lovely- Who doesn't want to be seen on camera? Oh, there she is.

Of it. Probably a Japanese woman herself. Thanks for being highly offensive to everybody lady Yes, I think it's Failure isn't it? We're talking parapheria here. We're talking a particular sexual fetish. That's not actually what we consider normal spectrum I disagree with that because I don't know you know that if you're not harming anybody You're not doing anybody any harm what where where does normal start? If you're not harming anybody, if you're not doing anybody any harm, where does normal start? Except the children.

Except the kids, your wife, your neighbors, the family, Thanksgiving dinner. They don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Christmas dinner! Your wife is over there. We've had so many people on Hannah. The guy is sat here, and my wife is absolutely, whether it's swinging or whatever it is, and you look at the wife's face and you can see her thinking, oh dear God, no. Are you happy with this?

Yes, I am. Totally happy with having Samantha on your sofa with you? It makes me not have sex with him. It takes the pressure off of me. Have you seen him? He's on your couch. I've got a version of my own, a male version of my own. He's a tub of lard!

Who wants to have sex with that? Or at least he can get it up now. Kids around? Yes, completely. And why are you comfortable with it as a woman? You know, we as a woman, we, you know, I'm not be offence to have her around. Yeah. Or I'm not being, you know, like worried that she might be... Replacing you? No, no, not at all. She's just someone there, you know, as a family. She's a helper. She's a big helper.

Okay, Philip, shut your mouth. Amber. Why didn't you... Is he going to make a bloke for you? No, not at all. You know, I'm not worried at all because I'm not repulsed by, you know, Samantha. She's actually helped us to enhance our relationship. Oh! Okay, all right, listen, hey, to each their own,

I think there's certain situations where this could be seen as a helpful thing. I do too. Why not? Yeah, whatever you're into. The hot ones with the hot ones. Ha ha ha. My one Samantha. Ha ha ha.

I'm going to kill you, Sarah. Ha ha ha. Once he makes it, once he allows the robot to use her arms, look out, Sarah, look out. I really don't... Fascinating. I really see this as just being another option and a sea of options on how to get your rocks off and interact with the world around you. We interact with our computers every day.

We ask Google 70 times a day to help us live our lives. We use maps, we use Spotify to help us find music, we use Tinder to help us find dates, we use Grubhub to help get us fatter. I mean, listen, there's a lot of different stuff out there that helps facilitate us in different aspects of our lives. This is just yet another tool. And it's good if you use it sparingly, I think, Doug. I don't think we should go wild, you know?

Make sure your wife enjoys this too. She seems kind of like a hostage. She's checking in. Your wife seems kind of like a hostage, if I'm being honest, but okay. I'm not gonna make judgments, whatever. You know who's not a hostage? You, you have a choice to listen to the show or I will comment at you.

But what you don't have a choice to do is text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content idea. We will take them all. We'd love to hear from you. TCBpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video. More information about Chrissy and I, you can send us an email. You can also get your free TCB sticker. We now have two new stickers. I won't even tell you what they are. All you have to do though is ask for your free sticker on the website

and we'll send it away to you. And maybe Astrid will send you one or two or three. I don't know Astrid's Astrid's a robot now too. The real Astrid left TCB podcast.com. Oh, I already said that at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and youtube.com slash the commercial break For selected episodes and all of our interviews Chrissy. That's all I can do for today. I think so I'll tell you that I love you Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I always say we do say and we Must say good bye Three two one Goodbye! irresistible taste and zero sugar. Win or lose, Coke Zero Sugar is the most refreshing way to end the game. Coke Zero Sugar, best Coke ever. Learn more at Coca-Cola.ca.

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