The Commercial Break - Macgyver The Flyer!

Episode Date: July 24, 2026

EP949: Bryan is now a fabulous frequent flyer! He is seeing it all...rude people, sleepy travelers, drunk seat mates and the fixing of a plane with a house key! Flying the friendly skies never felt so safe.  TCB is a The Commercial Break LLC production Visit: www.TCBpodcast.com Insta: @thecommercialbreakBryan Green on Insta: @BryanWGreen Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Created by: Bryan Green Written by: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley Produced by: Astrid Green & Gustavo  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey cats and kittens, it's Brian popping on real quick before this episode. Some of you have been texting me to tell me that you are not seeing new episodes this week drop into your podcast player. There's a technical reason for that. There was an issue. I fixed it rather than drop three episodes right on top of you. Today, I'll space these new episodes out. Maybe I'll drop one or two over the weekend. Enjoy this episode of The Commercial Break.

On this episode of the Commercial Break. Probably the unsung heroes of keeping an airline running are the guys who make sure you do it safely. The guys who really know airplanes, like they get in there to get their hands dirty. They know which wire to disconnect or connect. But this guy's now going to deal with a fucking thing that won't close. And it's right above my head. It's like across the aisle. So I watch this guy come in.

It's just got the like tools everywhere, right? And so he's looking at it and he's playing with it and doing this. And then I see him reach into his pocket and he takes out his house keys and he takes like a Honda Accord key. and starts fiddling with it and fixes it. And then closes. Yeah, I'm like, billion dollar operation, $100 million $737, and the guy fixed it with his Honda key. You've got to use all the tools you got.

He MacGyvered that shit. I felt good. I was like, this is exactly the kind of operation I want flying me from one place to the other at 35,000 feet. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, can I take it as well? Back to the commercial. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend

and the co-host of this show. Chris and Joy Haudley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you out there in the podcast and streaming audience. Thanks for joining us. Yeah, that's an oldie but a goodie. Yeah, I love that one.

Yeah, I've made some new songs here that we'll be playing over the next couple of weeks. So a lot of excitement, got a lot of videos queued up later on this week. I've got a new Mountain Monsters. Mountain Monsters is back. I don't know if it's new. I don't know if it's new

or if it's that they're repurposing old content. But I don't think we've ever watched the guys chase dragons. No. And so, no, we've never seen a dragon episode. So I got a dragon episode. I'm really excited about it. Thanks for joining us. I am back from New York.

Chrissy back from South Carolina. We're all our 12th vacation this year. No, for me, it's not vacation. I like to think of it as vacation. I went up to, I'm 100% hit rate for being late, flight delayed. Yeah, you have had bad. Oh, man, it's just fucking miserable. I mean, listen, at least they're consistent.

I know already what's going to happen. Here's the part that really makes me angry. So if you order an Uber, if you reserve an Uber, then you can get double delta points. Okay. So when I fly into town to New York, I reserve my Uber to the hotel and then I reserve my Uber back to the airport. And you can also, like now Uber just lets you set your flight and they'll come pick you up. You say, how early do you want to be for your flight? hour and a half. Okay, great, here's the time we're going to pick you up, right? Assign a driver, the whole nine hours. So that's great and wonderful and fine. But with that kind of reservation, you cannot cancel unless it's minutes 61 and beyond. So if you get within an hour, 60 minutes, then if you cancel, you have to pay for the entire ride, which is expensive. It's like $200 to fucking get from a hotel to LaGuardia. So every single time without fail, Delta notifies me about my delayed flight at minute number 58.

So now I'm fucked I gotta go to the airport Like rather than sit in a hotel room Or at the office or whatever Fuck fuck I love Delta I love you still my favorite airline ever Enjoy flying

With your wonderful staff And friendly people most of the time Except for last night There's a couple Really fussy flight attendants But besides that But you cannot I cannot believe

How on time these flights are Yeah I didn't have that much trouble Coming in out of Colorado Everything was on time with that, but I did go to New York. And you got five. And then coming back, I got it. Yeah.

Yeah. Right out of there. Gate 88. At least LaGuardia. They call that late, late, gate 88. Yeah, 88. That's right. That's where I was.

That's where I came into. That's the Atlanta gate. Yep. At least LaGuardia is nice now. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Oh, it's a shit hole. God damn.

It's a shit hole. It's beautiful now. It's spent like $3 billion on it. And it really ended up being just a lovely, lovely airport, lovely addition to the whole complex that now is LaGuardia. So there you go. Anyway, enough about my travel issues. But I get into, I get in, and it turns out that the hotel had double booked my room.

And it's sold out. So, but these guys, because they know me there, my second house, they were like, we didn't want to leave you on the street. So we're giving you the suite, like the presidential suite, like the top of the building, corner office kind of thing. That's not a bad constitution. Man, I'll tell you what. It was like a thousand square feet. It was huge for New York. It was a two full room. The living room was twice the size of this studio. It was unbelievable. And so I was just luxuriating there by myself in this huge suite. I mean. Did you wave to your friend? No, I didn't see my friend. I was keeping an eye. No, but in this corner suite, it's right next to a brand new condo building. And the condo building is like floor to ceiling glass windows. And everybody has these drapes. And there's some of them. are open, right? So it's Monday night, Tuesday night, it's pissing rain. I mean, it's pissing rain. And I'm like, I don't want to go out and try and get something to eat. I just don't want to.

So I am watching TV and I'm like laying on this couch in this living room and I can like, I pop my head up and I look over the couch. And what do I see? I see a woman down in the condo, right, but like maybe two stories below me. I look down. Yeah. I can see her. It's nighttime. So the windows are open.

The lights are on. There's a TV there. She's sitting on her couch like this with a skirt on. So her Willie Hoohoo is hanging out and she's picking her nose. Oh, my God. And I'm like, oh, well, that's what I get. That's what I get. For a moment, I'm like, sweet, beaver shot.

And then I'm like, that's pretty disgusting. Yeah. Thanks anyway. I'll not take a pass on that. I did. Well, it feels weird to me. I'm not from New York. Like, I know window peeping is like, it's just a thing in New York.

Like, you live around, you live basically feet from other people in their windows. So I think there's my impression having now looked in a lot of windows and Ben looked at through a lot of windows is there's two different attitudes. It's either close the drapes or fuck it. Are we stuck? Or stuck on the screen. Hey. But I don't think we're actually stuck. I think this is just an issue with our TV.

So there's like two different, there's two different attitudes that are going on. One is fuck it. Yeah, like just whatever. Yeah, we all have bodies and we all, you know, I got to live my life. And then the other attitude is close the windows and hide, right? And so it just depends on what kind of mood I'm in. But sometimes I'm like, fuck it, we all have bodies who cares. Like there's this huge shower with a tub in the middle of it.

And there's a drape that you can close so you can, you know, hide yourself. the bathroom was like the size of the studio and half of it is a shower with a tub in the middle of it it's a rain shower the whole nine yards. Nice. And I'm one day,

I'm like close to drape, don't want anybody to see me. The other day I'm like, fuck it. I just don't even fucking care. I really don't. I'm going to end up on the internet. I'm going to end up on the internet.

Okay. Well, there we go. We're having technical difficulties. But I can see we're still on. So I can actually see that we're still on. Yeah. So anyway, I got the sweet. Everything's great. Wonderful. I come back home. No kids. Yes. Grams Camp. They call it Grams Camp. And that's my dad and my stepmom's called us a couple weeks ago. And they said, listen, we're going to give it a shot. We're going to try and take all 15 of your children. And let's see if we can take them for a couple of days, a couple of nights.

So they did. And then I'm on the plane last night. I'm waiting for us to take off, which is another thing. Yeah, waiting two hours for the plane to get on the plane late. And then waiting another 45 minutes because there was a one of those overhead bins wouldn't close. Yeah. So they called in like the Delta guy, right? So the Delta guy comes in.

You know, the worker guy. Yeah, the maintenance guy. Yeah, with maintenance guy. You know, probably the unsung heroes of keeping an airline running are the guys who make sure you do it safely. The guys who really know airplanes, like they get in there to get their hands dirty. They know which wire to disconnect or connect. But this guy's now going to deal with a fucking thing that won't close. And it's right above my head.

It's like across the aisle. So I watch this guy come in. It's just got the like tools everywhere, right? And so he's looking at it and he's playing with it and doing this. And then I see him reach into his pocket and he takes out his house keys and he takes like a Honda accord key. And he starts fiddling with it and fixes it. And then closes. Yeah, I'm like, billion dollar operation, $100 million $7.37, and the guy fixed it with his Honda key.

You've got to use all the tools you got. He MacGyvered that shit. I felt good. I was like, this is exactly the kind of operation I want flying me from one place to the other at 35,000 feet. So I get home. So anyway, so last night I'm on the plane. I just sat down and my dad calls me. I had called him actually earlier because I wanted to check him with the kids.

Right. You have to do it check. I was feeling a little of a clumped. I was like, I haven't seen him since Sunday. I'm feeling bad. They're my babies. I'm going to come home. They're not going to be there.

Part of me enjoys that idea. Yes. Part of me enjoys the idea of sleeping next to my wife without three extra bodies in the middle. And then part of me says, well, I really enjoy coming home to my children. Sure. So I said, let me give him a ring and I'll see what's up. So I call my dad. He doesn't answer the phone.

He sends me to voicemail. And then he texts me right away. And he's like, the house is on fire. and I'm putting it out with a hose. But other than that, everything's great. Don't call back, right? And I know what he's doing. He's like, we got it, Brian.

I raised four children. I raised four of you. And you're all so much. That is true. Yes. He did raise four of you. And I was one of them. I know.

And I was one of them. And I know. Now that I just thought about that thought, yeah. I know for a fact that I was probably one of the more difficult children in history to raise. Like, Lucifer. Let's see Lucifer Baby Adolf and Brian

Three kids you probably didn't want to have So I go Okay, all right Let my dad play his game I'll call him tomorrow And so it's like 730 So now I'm on the plane It's like getting close to 11 o'clock 1030

And FaceTime for my dad And I'm like there we go You know someone wants to talk to dad And I pick up the phone And my dad's like We have someone here Who is really concerned Because he says he's

He's the protector of his mom and dad, and he doesn't know whether or not they're okay. He needs to check in before he goes to bed. And it was my son. And he was just, you could tell, he was just so stressed about the idea that he'd be sleeping without his parents in the house, which he's done before, just not with my dad. I mean, he's done it before. And listen, my dad and Susan, they're great. They're going to figure it out. Yeah, yeah.

But so I had to kind of talk him off the ledge a little bit. I'm like, hey, bud, go and, you know, maybe, maybe Papa, which is Grandpa, maybe Papa will let you watch your iPad or listen to your iPad, listen to music, or watch a show or something like that before you go to bed. Maybe that'll help. And so Papa says, yeah, of course, you know, you want to do that, we'll do that. Okay. So I talk him off the ledge. Eventually we hang up. I then am on the plane and I am trying to listen to some music.

Sometimes I like to listen to a book. Sometimes I like to watch a television show. Sure. I'm getting into now, like, just like going deep into my Spotify library and like listening to songs I haven't heard in a long time. And then listening to songs that are like that. Like I go down these whole rabbit holes, finding new music to put in the library. Yeah. No, that's a good thing.

It's a fun thing to do. But the problem with my Spotify in general is that we have a family account. Only the kids have logged into my personal account on their iPads. So every time I try and listen to a song, my son keeps changing the song. It's like every time I'm like Okay, let's listen to do a little live, live Like the band live, live, listen to a little live live

And then all of a sudden I'm listening to like There's this thing called like Crazy Orange It's like this, you know, obnoxious fucking music Here let me give you an example of what Crazy Orange sounds like Um Hello No, that's not it Nope, that's not it

Oh My name is My name is greasy yarn And I love you I love you My name is crazy yarn And I give you big send hugs And you fuck me

You smash me You smash me crazy orange If you smash me You smash me You touch my crazy orange Yeah Stop it He's changing it

While you're trying to listen To your thing Okay I'm listening to Lecini's Juice Do you remember that song Likini's Juice? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes

What a fucking fantastic song Listen live Live, not my favorite band in the world But they did manage to put together a few. They had a couple of good ones, yeah. Yes. They put together a few great songs.

And here is, this is what I'm talking about. It's going to drive me fucking crazy. I'm like, oh, damn it. But, you know, then I relented because I'm like, okay, my dad's having trouble putting the kids to sleep. Just let him listen to crazy orange or whatever the fuck he's listening to. Oh, it was driving me nuts. You know, you're like, get into a song. Like that song, you're like, mm-mm, mm-mm.

I'm 15 hours late to go home. I'm going to be home at 4 in the morning. Dern, nurn, crazy orange, crazy orange. Fuck you. Fuck you. Maybe he needs his own profile. He has his own profile. We have a family account, but they all log into my profile.

Okay, maybe you should just start using his. I think you might be right. Just start new. You don't know how many playlists I have that are named some variation of Mickey, Disney, Universal Nickelodeon. Let it go, Frozen, Stitch, Lilo. I mean, it's like, and they all have one song in them. So if my kid loves to make playlists, he puts one song in the playlist. I have seven thousand playlist. So now to get to my playlist, I have to filter through all of them. It's a big mess. I don't know how you unfuck that. Spotify, you've caused a problem that I can't undo. Not my favorite company in the world, if I'm being on a Spotify. True. But, uh, but, uh, but whatever. Anyway, okay. All right. So let's- Go Apple Music. Yeah, I thought about it. But then I also import your playlist over from Spotify to Apple Music. No shit. You can just change it.

change it from this is the the worst part about Spotify and Apple Music in my opinion is that you do not own the music you're just licensing it from them the second you stop paying them that all goes away it's you can download it onto your phone but only through the app so the second that you disengage from that company you don't own it you're stuck forever yeah you're stuck forever they got you it's a walled garden that's part of the reason why I dislike Spotify and along with other things that they've done to the podcast industry that is just not worth mentioning here, but not good. I will tell you that, not good. Without getting into all the dirt and minutia and drama, what Spotify has done to the podcast industry is not good.

There's some functionality like watching video on the Spotify app that is cool, but the minutia behind what's going on with Spotify and podcasting is just, they're doing the same thing to podcasters. They're essentially railroading them out of revenue. and anyway, listen to us on Apple Music, or Apple Podcasts. Okay, let's take a short break. We'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears,

and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speak in a mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library. audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at TCB Podcasts.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333-3-T-B. That's 212433-3822.

Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you can make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond.

Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. Just to watch our... How do I see at yourself? Are these two making sense? At least I did offensive to my soul. And so old. This get made.

So many episodes. None of which are great. Not Likini's Juice, but pretty fucking good. I do have to say. All right, hey, everybody in the chat. Hey, Jenny. Hey, Shown. Hey, she, everybody in their...

talking. Someone says they were listening to the most recent episode and a commercial plate of Highway Patrol cracking down on super speeders in Georgia. Oh, it's you. They're cracking down on you. They're tracking down on me. This is part of what Spotify is doing. Let me explain why you're likely hearing that ad. Because I have been talking about super speeding in Georgia and Florida. And so now they are targeting content. And that is what they are targeting. That is no coincidence, I promise you. That is part of what Spotify is doing is they are putting the whole podcast industry that is with Spotify on a new ad server. That ad server is like creepy AI kind of stuff. So, hey, listen, I don't want to tell you to skip

the ads, but I know you will if you need to. Okay? All right. There you go. Listen, it's part of what, it's just the deal we have to make with the devil here. We've got to get paid somehow, some way. So anyway, thanks everybody in the stream. Good to have you. Speak up if you want to. I wanted to share that I shouldn't be chewing gum while I'm doing this. I know I was surprised you were doing that. Yeah, I don't know. I have a thing in my mouth. I want some gum. I have a thing in my mouth. I want some gum. Put it under the gum.

Yeah, I'm going to stick it under the gum. Let's stick it under the table. We'll start a little collection. Trump goes to Wheeler yesterday, Wheeler High School, which is my home turf. That's where I grew up. I grew up in that part of Georgia, in that part of Atlanta, called East Cobb. East Cobb has some of the best high schools, middle schools, and elementary schools anywhere in the country. These are like private schools juiced with all kinds of private money because it is very affluent over in East Cobb. And so they have now made themselves this wonderful little bedroom community. And listen, I grew up in East Cobb.

And I want to share that it was a nice place to grow up. But they're definitely privileged when you go. If you go to Wheeler, Walton, Pope, Dickerson, you know, East Cobb Middle, if you go to any of these schools, you are really a lucky child. You have been put into a school system that is tailor-made to make you successful. Yeah, a lot of people move there just for the schools. That's exactly why people move. there and they pay millions of dollars to buy a house or rent a, you know, hundreds of thousands of

dollars a year to rent a condo or be in a nice apartment or be in the bad side of town or lie and just say that you live there. We know that that happens too. And so Wheeler is not a great representation, I don't think, of Atlanta in general. It's not like a slice of Atlanta. This is really on the outskirts. It's really this very affluent bedroom community. But I am proud. out of my Wheeler brethren and sisters because yesterday while Donald Trump was giving his speech, they were making fun of him behind his head. Did you see this? No, I didn't do this. There were some smart-ass high school students that were doing an imitation of Trump while Trump was up there being himself. They were doing. Yes. But what about why?

Was this summer school? Like, it's the summer. Why were the school? I don't know why they chose Wheeler High School. I don't understand why. my taxpayer dollars are going to his rally. Now, he is the president of the United States. He was like announcing or he was promoting his whatever is. Save America? Yes. Yeah. Save America from another election. I mean, that's like, it's just so crazy. I don't know. That's part of the reason why my flight was so delayed yesterday is because they had flight restrictions all over Atlanta. Flight restrictions. Yeah, I was driving back from Greenville, South Carolina. I thought I was going to hit a bunch of crazy. with everything, but it was smooth sailing.

It was? Okay. All right. Well, listen, the president, especially President Trump, I have noticed because I keep an eye on this type of stuff. If you didn't know, I am a pilot in my head. Yes, you are. Because I flew two times. And now I'm a pilot. And you have the voice. You have the announcing down. I do have the announcing down. Yes. That's really all you need. That's right. Delta Cherokee 3. Yeah, Delta Cherokee 3, 4, 5. line up and wait.

Gotcha Cherokee 3, 4, 5 wins out of the south. 09. Runway 4, cleared for takeoff. Clear for takeoff Delta 4-1-9. So I like to listen to my pilots talking. I'm that guy. I'm double-checking. I'm making sure everything's okay.

If there's an instance when I'm listening to air traffic control and I identify that there's a problem, I will take out my Honda car key and I will fix it. Just letting get up. Yeah, I'm going to let him know. I'm going to get up there. and I'm a knock on the door. Because they like that.

They like when people knock on the door mid-flash. Hey, guys. Hey, guys. I was noticing when you, when ATC, when Tower Main over there told you were cleared for takeoff, you didn't check back the winds. So just letting you know. Yeah. Okay, thanks.

We're going to zip tie you and now put you in the closet. Okay, great. Talk to you soon. Yeah, you're going to be on the no-fly list. Yeah, I'm already on that. I'm getting close. So what I've noticed about Trump, and his whatever he's flying in the Qatari.

I don't think he's flying in the Katari plane anymore. No, he's going to get that maxed out. Yeah, maxed out. It's going to take 10 days and they're going to put missile defense systems in 10 days because that's how that works. It's going to take years for that for him to do that. It's a dumbest fucking thing. Anyway, I don't get into it. I don't care.

I don't make this a Trump bashing thing. But I will say that Trump, I have noticed his flight restrictions, which is you can even go on your, like, if you have radar, the weather app, you can put a layer there. if you pay for the premium membership, you can put a layer there that is a flight layer. And it'll tell you where flight restrictions are, where they have what are called MTNs and ATNs, which are announcements about where there's rough air so that the pilots, and the pilots can monitor all this. So when they say, we're flying down to Atlanta, I think there's going to be some rough air going over Kentucky, so, you know, we're going to turn on the seatbelt sign. You're like, how do they know that?

Well, they get reports from other pilots put reports into this system called the MTN or the ATN. The A-IS. And when they do that, then the pilots pop those up as they're going along. There's also flight restrictions all over the country. There's some on Disney World, Disneyland. There's lots of different reasons why that happens. But the most serious one, of course, is when the president, or there's a military, something's going on with the military. But that flight restriction is so big. It's so wide. It's like a hundred mile radius that you can't fly when the president has his plane in the air. You can't be within 100 miles. It seems like a lot of space to be giving the president. In my opinion, two miles. Two miles is okay.

Like, what is it, what is it Delta plane going to do? Well, right. We're not loaded with missiles. That's right. We're not maxed out. Yeah. Like he says, maxed out, you're going to max it out. He's jet maxing.

Jet maxing. He is jet maxing. He's jet maxing. What a duchy thing to say? We're going to max it out. Yeah, we're going to max it out. Yeah. That's time.

Poor guy. He's just lost. is marvels. His head is mush. Even, like, I was listening to Bill O'Reilly. Remember Bill O'Reilly? Oh, yeah. He's still alive. He's still kicking. A guy's like 92 years old. Still doing his show. Looks terrible. Sounds terrible. But God bless him. You know, he's still, I guess still feels the need to talk. He yesterday talked about how bad Trump looks, how bad Trump sounds, how age has really caught up with him, how he's just not the same person he was

even a couple of years ago. It's obvious to anyone who watches, even if you're a fan Trump, you have to admit, he's losing his marbles. Well, I mean, once you hit 80, it's, you know, there is a noticeable difference. And I will share this. When you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Exactly. And you have to scramble in your mind to keep up with all the bullshit, right? The real bullshit, the bullshit you create. When you have a lot of stress, when you're being indicted, when you're under tax, you know, fraud investigation, when all this other stuff is going on, that there's, there's, There's only so long that your brain can keep up with that before it starts to get, before you're like burning cells.

Yeah. It's like your brain just starts to turn to mush. That's the kind of stress that breaks a normal psyche. He's not a normal psyche. But, you know, you can just tell. It's like he's just mushy. He's mushy in the head. And even Bill O'Reilly said that Trump needed to take a month off, that the government,

that the Congress needed to give him a month off so he could go relax and golf. It's like, I think that's what the guy is doing. anyway. He's played more golf than like any other president. I mean, oh, he's golfing 82% of his time. Yeah. That's what he does. He just golfs and collects Bitcoin. It's just a it's not a good situation for the country. And meanwhile, we're all here paying, you know, exorbitant amounts of money for gas and eggs and milk. And I'm not saying that Trump could fix that by snapping his fingers. He can't, of course. But he's not helping. He's not helping. Yeah, that's right. It's not helping. Yeah. And we don't need to save America, whatever. Anyway, okay. All right. A couple of things I want to say before the next break. The Gist, the show that I have been on a couple of times, I've been a guest over at The Gist. It was a long-running, almost 15 years, 13 years, something like that. Longest running daily news podcast ever. It used to be a slate. Then Mike Peska, the host, took it independent. He's been a friend of the show. He's been here on the show. Yeah, I love the Gist. Yeah, it's great. And I've been on the show, his show a couple times. He actually has a number of different podcasts, and I've been on a couple of them.

Mike stepped away from the gist. Oh, okay. To go take a corporate job in another podcasting division. It's his business to share whether or not he, where he went. But anyway, Mike was kind enough to ask me and a couple of other people if we would keep the gist alive by repurposing new interviews. He hasn't aired yet. And then old stuff by doing what's called an intro and an outro, donuting some of those episodes each week. So I will be guest hosting the gist.

I'm doing, I'm actually guest hosting this week, so you can tune into the gist and hear me. And then I'll be doing that every couple of weeks. I'll be guest hosting the gist, guest hosting the best of episodes of the gist. So go take a listen to that. I also wanted to let you know, do you remember the Westboro Baptist Church? Does that sound familiar to you? No. It was the cult.

I'm going to say this. I'm not going to say the actual word, but God hates. Do you remember this? Yeah. Okay. Okay. God hates a slur for gay people. They are like this vile cult that would follow like when there would be a funeral for a soldier.

They would show up and say these vile things. I mean, the most vile, racist, you know, slanderous, just the most terrible things that they would say. They believed basically that their version, their very unique version of Christianity was the right one. There's about 100 people at this church in this cult. And everybody else on earth was damned to hell for many different reasons. And they made a lot of news and a lot of noise for being so vile and so hatred. Howard Stern used to have the leader of this cult on. And Howard really took him to task, like made fun of him a lot on his show.

Anyway, it's been around for a long time. the guy who started that, his granddaughter is named Megan Phelps Roper. Megan Phelps Roper woke up one day and decided she was going to be the new leader of the church. And she woke up one day and everything changed for her. She was like, this is wrong. I don't know what I'm doing. Good. Yeah, good, exactly.

And she became a mom, and she's been on Rogan and she's been on Dax and she's been on the view. And she's like, she's made her rounds kind of talking about how she changed her life and why her views have changed and how much she now wants to be the antithes. of everything that has to do with her family who is still in this cult. So Megan put a podcast together with some friends of mine from a production company called Longview, talking about her time in the church, reflecting back on some Bible passages from now the point of view of someone who really the Bible did a lot of damage in her life. It's a fascinating eight-part series called Bookkeeper. And so if you want something a little bit more meat and potatoes, then the commercial break,

You can go listen to bookkeeper starring Megan Phelps Roper, some friends of ours put it together. So I thought I would share that. And I think she's going to – Nice. I'm going to check that out. I think she's going to be on Dax Shepherd, like at the end of August, armchair expert. That'll be maybe her second or her third time there. And I've listened to the other two episodes. And she's just a fact – like, imagine growing up in that environment?

No. I mean, I've watched those shows too where that, you know, people break free. Yeah. And it's just – I can't even imagine. I can't imagine. And like what you can hear in this is like a real, like the vibe. I know this production company. And they're the guys behind the New York Times show The Daily.

Yeah, I love that. So like the number one podcast in the world. And it's an amazing podcast. And it's been around for a long time. These guys did that podcast. They created that podcast. They're no longer there, but they created the podcast, Andy Mills, Matt Bull. So I know that they were going to do a lot of debates about,

what to call this particular podcast. And for a while, they wanted to call it the Bible, the Bible club, the Bible book club. But they came to the conclusion that the word Bible holds such weight in so many different ways for a lot of people. A lot of people think great things when they hear the word Bible. A lot of people have PTSD. A lot of people like me, it's just not my favorite. I don't love the dogma in the body, you know, all that other stuff. But so by calling it Bookkeeper, I think they smartly got away from that. So it's a different kind of podcast, but they have episode number three is out already, I think, and I'm finding it. And I get to listen to them a little bit ahead of time, but I'm finding it to be a very fascinating listen.

I love that kind of stuff. Yeah. And Megan's a great orator of her own story and how it wraps in. And now she's a mom, and she's like a super sweet, super smart, super well-adjusted human being for having grown up. Where does she live? I don't know. I think Michigan? I think in Michigan.

But she's just like a normal person, but with a lot of perspective. They're not having Graham camp with... No, no, Graham's camp with Megan Phelps Rover. No, you wouldn't want to make great. She's not sending her kids. Hey, we're going to burn some books and kill some gay people. Come on down. Yeah, no, no, no.

All right, let's do this. Let's take a short break, and then we'll be back, I guess. Maybe. I'll take this gum out of my mouth too because I know it sounds obnoxious. All right. Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me or Chrissy, at 212-4333-TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show too. Just call and say something. Anything.

Or text us and we'll text you're right back. Promise. Then head over to TCBpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Best to you.

And Astrid, especially Astrid. I saw you in there. the VIP bottle service in Hennessy. My heart went crazy. It skipped a beat. I thought that you could be with me. I walk over to you. We lock eyes.

You're my wife and I realize. You're with my friend and it's no surprise. Watching you two makes my flag rise. I have a cut, cut, cut crush on you. I have a cut, cut crush on you. I hide in the closet and let you do what you do. I have a cut, cut, cut crush on you. So baby grab your phone

Start to swipe We need to spend some time Getting it right I don't want you to be alone tonight I want you to cheat without a fight When you're in the bed with my favorite guy I hide myself and try not cry I love you lady but I won't lie

My therapist even wonders why I have a cut cut crush on you I have a cut cut crush on you I hide in the closet Let you do what you do I have a cup, cup crush on you. Sacks. All right.

Thoughts on spam phone calls, asks one of our listeners. Thoughts on spam calls? What do you mean thoughts on spam calls? I have no thoughts on spam calls. They're fucking assholes. I get so many every day. As a business owner. It's so crazy.

It's crazy. I block and delete. I block and delete. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. No. Because. I'm like how many number combinations can there be?

Billions. And that's the problem. And they buy them by the. tens of thousands and then they just run through them. There are a whole, like, sweet, I've seen it online because I've used the commercial break, like, to buy our commercial break phone numbers. I mean, just in the past few days, I've got just, I, I mean, these are voicemails. Unbelievable.

From just, it's all spam. It's all spam. It's all spam. And as a business owner, and I'm sure you get this too, Sean, because I think Sean owns the wildlife business, is that if I don't get offered money by a million, billion different people. I'm approved for loans all over the place. I'll get you a million dollars by the end of the day. What one guy sent? This is my favorite spam text that I get. What's your email so I can send over the routing number for the million dollars that you've been approved for? And I'm like a million

dollars. It's so untrue. First of all, I wouldn't be approved for $10,000, let alone a million dollars. Second of all, I don't know what can of worms that I opened somewhere, but it is just hundreds of these a week. It's insane. And it just stop. It's just stop. It's just stop. It's stop with the spam phone calls. I wonder how much, how often this works. It must work at some point, at some level. It has to. It has to. I wouldn't keep doing it. Yeah. You remember, like, they said you could put your name on the do not call list. And I did that years ago. And I even rechecked. I mean, I've gone down to rabbit hole with this. I even, like, got on the, you know, the credit bureaus, websites to try and, like, take myself off. I think maybe that hurt me. I think so, too.

Because I just logged in. Yeah. I used a service called Incogni. Yes, I know. I thought about doing that too. And I was doing life lock or whatever. It just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The second that the Congress approved making the cell phone records public, it's just,

or cell phone numbers public tied to a name. It all changed. And now we're inexorably tied to these spammers. And now with AI, it's even worse because, you know, I now have the Apple screening thing. So if you, if you're not in my phone, you're going to get an Apple screener. And that's just basically someone who says, hey, say your name and we'll see if we can get a hold of the person. Right. So when someone calls my phone number and they've never called me before, I don't have them on my phone.

Right. AI voice says, you know, please say your name at the beep and we'll try and get a hold of the person you're trying to reach. And now the AI bots on the other end, it's like, did the AI bots are having conversations with each other is basically what's happening. They'll say, hello, hello. And then my Applebot will be like, please say your name. And it's like, Brian? Brian? And then it's like, Brian, Brian, Brian. Yeah. Brian, Brian is calling. And I'm Jim and I'm Bob and I'm Tim and I'm Todd. Yes. And I'm Alice and I'm all kind of different people. None of which I really am. But here's the good news. I've gotten so many spam phone calls and tuned it out to such a degree that now even the legitimate people who I owe money to, I just ignore all together. I just ignore everybody. Unless you're in my phone, I'm not answering.

And even then, it's hard to get a hold to me. That's right. I like it that way. I don't want you to expect me to answer the phone when I call because I am a miserable son of a bitch. And I just don't want to talk to you. Okay. Text me. Text.

It's a text. Yeah. And then, even then, it might take me a day to get back to you. It's just the way that I am. Not because I'm trying to be rude, but because I have really de-emphasized over the last decade in my life, I have de-emphasized people's ability to get a hold of each other so fucking quickly. I remember a time when I would go out with friends, no cell phones, maybe a beep, beep, beep. 9-1-1.

Yeah, but that's me on my drug dealing days. Yeah. When I had no drugs, but I would tell people to call me if they needed them, and then I would go, take their money, take their drugs, and then give them a little bit back. Dilute them down. That's right. Yeah. I was playing middleman to the middleman. If I was your plug, as they call it these days, then you were a real shithead.

Like, you know what I'm saying? Then you had no contact. But I remember a time when you would go out and you would come home at 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 1 o'clock in the morning, and there was an answering machine. And you would press play. And if someone was trying to get a hold of you, there's the message. And you likely wouldn't call them back to the next day unless it was an emergency because, you know what? That's just the way it is. Or it was like the girl you liked or something, right?

Yeah. And that's the way it was. There was no email. You had maybe you had email, but you would check it every three days. We have now normalized this high cortisol, high stressful environment where everybody feels they need to be able to get a hold of anybody within a minute. And if they don't, then it's rude, unprofessional, or there's something wrong. It's just not true. So I have taken the attitude. And I told you this. I've said this every for seven years in the show I've said this. I check my emails twice a day, sometimes. three times a day unless there is like some project that I need a response on and that's the way I'm doing it. I check it when I get up and I have my coffee and I'm doing my thing. Me too. I do a morning and an afternoon check. That's right. And then, you know, right toward the end of the day, 3.30 maybe. I check again. I follow up. I say great. Now I have Claude helping me. I say Claude review my emails. Tell me pop up things that are important. Give me a to do list. That way I don't drop the ball. And then I don't feel any pressure because no one has ever gotten anything different from me from email. And I do the same thing with text messages. Chrissy, my wife, my parents,

maybe my brothers, and some other important people in my life. Those are the people that can expect a response timely if it's needed. If like you're, if you're saying something that I need to respond to right then. And if not, then I take my time. I think about it and I respond later. That's what I do. When Chrissy says, what time should I come over and record today? I respond the next day. And I say, sorry, we forgot to record yesterday. Or I say, I'm still in New York. Or I say, I'm still in New York.

That's right. Well, Sean's saying he has to answer unknown phone calls due to the applications and resumes sent out. Oh, okay, that I can understand. Like, if I put something out in the universe and I don't know who's going to be calling me, then I certainly will pay attention to the phone. Like, if I'm expecting a phone call. Yeah, sure. Yeah. So, you know, but an example, my mom went to the hospital.

She fell, broke her back and or her back was broken and then she fell. I'm not really sure what happened. And she had to have emergency surgery. My mom did. Those nurses were trying to get a hold to me for like four hours. Yeah. But because I didn't know the phone number, I had no. idea. Only when the nurse called from the hospital line, they were trying to call from like their,

you know, the nurses now, they carry around these cell phones and they'll call you from, that's like their work cell phone. They'll call you from their work cell phone, right? Makes sense. Okay. But only when they picked up the phone and called me from the actual hospital, where it said, hospital, did I even recognize that something was going on. So all this to say, normalize being normal. That's what I have to say. Normalize being normal. Go not. It's anxiety. Yes.

Of course it is. We all live in this high state of anxiety. And I'm not saying I'm any different. I also, look at me. Do I look like a guy who's not living in a high state of anxiety? But there are things that we can do with each other to help lessen that burden. And I think one of those things should be, you're right, Sean, is eliminate spam phone calls altogether. If you don't know somebody and you have a business.

and you're trying to market to people unless they opt in, you should not, by law, be allowed to call them, right? Send them a mailer. That's what mail is for. Mail is for trash. That's what mail is for. Okay? That's what it's for. Trash and bills you're not going to pay. All right, let's be honest about it. All right. Otherwise, you should have your sanity protected, but then let's go a step inward beyond spam phone calls and people who are calling you for the bill collectors or whatever. Let's go step inward. The people in your work environment, the people you work with or you're doing business with, they shouldn't expect that you're just going to answer the phone every five seconds for them,

unless you're in an emergency response type of situation. Like Sean does wildlife removal, right? So I can see how if someone had a real problem, they would want to get a hold of Sean quickly. The nature of his business is to respond quickly, ambulances, doctors, lawyers, whatever. But let's go a step further inward. And let's say your family member, like your children or your wife, Let's normalize not responding to them for days. Why, babe?

Why? What do you need to know? I'm in New York. Why would I? What do we need to talk about? I'm in New York. Yeah. We have the Find My.

Oh, yeah. We do too. Of course. You've got to have Find Maie. If you're an adult, grown adult in a grown relationship, you have to have Find Ma. If your spouse or someone that you've been living with or someone that you love is not allowing you to do fine my, you should immediately double check this relationship. Yes, that is correct.

There should be absolutely no problem with understanding. My wife, I have a rule with my wife. She needs no permission to do anything. Actually, that's her rule, not mine. But okay, you get what I'm saying, right? The permission structure is this. There is no permission structure. Yeah, it's just an open flow. You're an adult, do what you want to do. Yeah. Right. But I have fine mine. So if I'm ever curious, I just look and see where she is. And my kids are going to have the same thing. When they have their cell phones, I'm going to say, you're fine, my design. But, you know, Astor was telling me one of her friends has like a 15-year-old daughter,

14-year-old daughter, and that daughter, they have figured out that if the girls get together at one of the houses, right, everybody leaves their cell phone down in a basement at that house. Yeah. And then, like, one person brings the phone, right? one person who has cool parents, right, who doesn't give a show, whatever, doesn't have fine mine. And so everybody thinks they're down in the basement and they're really visiting boys' houses. But you know what? God bless it. Those teenagers... But they won't be on their phone.

They won't be on their phone. That's what I said to Astrid. I said, at least they're not scrolling Instagram, you know, looking at girls and bikinis and wondering how they get that hot, right? So that's what I say. There are not enough third places in the United States of America for these teenagers to go and to hang out. So if the worst thing that they do is leave their fun. We did the same shit when we were kids. And my kids are going to do the same shit. I'm about to, karma's about to be a real bitch for me. But let them go out and have a little bit of dangerous fun.

You know what I'm saying? Not like super dangerous fun, but like dangerous fun. Like sneaking out to a boy's house. Yeah. Not my girls, but you know, my wife's friends' girls. Let them go sneak out, go to the boys' house, you know, meet up in the woods. and, you know, smoke cigarettes or whatever, you know what I'm saying. This is the fruit of the womb, Chrissy.

This is what being a teenager is all about. And we should allow our teenagers to do this, right? I agree. Without spam phone calls. And yes, you should have fine, my, but yes, there should be a way that you can get around it. Got it? Okay. All right.

That is Brian's wisdom of the day. Ding. Ding. Know what you should know. or what was that thing? What? Things you should know or something. Now you know or things to know the NBC.

Yes, yes. Now you know and knowing is half the battle. Bebeep. There you go. All right. Okay, a little bit of a short episode, but we will be back here in just a couple of minutes. So if you're inclined and if you've got time, I don't know what you do with your life. If you've got enough time to sit around, listen to Chrissy and I for two hours.

But we'll be back in a few minutes. on the stream, and then, of course, we'll be back tomorrow, regularly scheduled programming. Thank you very much. Some people said they didn't get an episode yesterday, and I'm not sure why. Some people did. Some people didn't. I don't know why I'll look into it. Yeah. Sorry. I don't know. Adio meal. Adio meal. I don't know. I'm taking Spanish classes on Duolingo, right? Picked up the duolingo. No, there was nothing on mine either.

Interesting. Okay, maybe there is a problem, so I'll check it out. Okay, thanks for giving me a heads up on the phone. I'm taking... Duolingo. I'm taking... Duolingo. Spanish classes, and every night, it pops up, and it reminds me it's time to do your Spanish lessons 10 minutes a day is what I've agreed to do with myself, with the app, right? But duolingo's getting really, like, fucking fancy and good.

And so two things about duolingo. Number one, is that in part of the lessons now, I'm in the intermediate... an intermediate. And you have to have a FaceTime phone call with an AI cartoon character. Really? Yes. In Spanish. So yesterday I'm on the plane after my kid calls me. We're just about to take off.

And duolingo's call. Like this little Spanish character is like FaceTiming me. And the lady next to me was like, what is going on? What is you face time with cartoon characters? Yes, I do. Number two is I thought, wow, I'm really like, they're giving me confidence. complicated Spanish sentences and paragraphs and conversations. And I'm keeping up. I'm so proud of

myself. I must be getting close to being fluent in Spanish. And because I'm on like, I'm on lesson number, you know, 397. I'm like, this is awesome. How many lessons are there? 3,622. I'm not even in 10%. It's a life long passion of mine to learn the language that I should, I mean, I understand it, to speak the language that I understand. All right, just like English. I'm learning how to speak that too. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Please do us a favor.

Like, subscribe, and follow us so that you get notified whenever we stream here. Also, we'd like to let you know you can go to Instagram at the commercial break. Check out Bookkeeper and check me out on the Gist. Let's keep that going as long as we can. Two podcasts for Brian. That's what he needs. Another podcast to do. All right. Well, listen, I guess that's all I can do for just this moment.

I think so. We'll be acting a few, but I love you. I love you. I say best to you. Best to you out there on the podcast and streaming audience. Thanks for joining us. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say. We do say, and we must say goodbye.

Boy.