The Commercial Break - Married At First Fright

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

Years ago the U.S. Congress finally did ONE thing. That one thing was publicly list all of our cell phone numbers. We have been non-stop spammed ever since. Married At First Sight, the runaway hit reality series from Lifetime has become just plain boring and Bryan knows it! "I am a free spirit" has officially jumped the shark as a cliche, just as "I am a people person" did before it. Buckhead Shore is not about Buckhead or the shore...but who's counting. Apparently, not anyone with a TV. Finally, as promised, the gang review part 2 of The Mountain Monsters Clip from last week. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I love you and I miss you. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm sure there's some of that going on too, but really what it is is it's I think it's there's actually some people who feel like they actually want to get married There's some sincerity, but therefore sparring a shit Ha, fucking boring, man. It's fucking boring. I can't watch it anymore. This is boring. Hey, how's senior? It's Bob over here. A couple miles west of the town center. I got that corn form over there. I've been appreciating if you stop dropping your children off. I've got corn form in the middle of the night. You're just scaring away all the chickens.

That's it. Everything else leading up in this investigation has been a wolf right now. Sounds like things are changing a little bit. What? Sounds like the commercial break. Everything leading up to season two was Peter Fonda, Henry Fonda, and then all he knows to season three was breaking me. These song farmers are getting sick of it. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, welcome back to another episode of the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.

This is the director of artistic services. Chris, enjoy. Holy best of you, Chris. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there on the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this The Commercial Break. It's not for everyone, but fact news or fiction guaranteed in one minute or less or your money back the brand new tcb podcast dot com is where

you go to collect your uh your paycheck your winning your winnings good luck sir good luck to you we're gonna give you a revenue split you could take 50% of whatever we've earned on this podcast. And you still won't get a Starbucks cup of coffee. Just share that information. The FedExMoney's will be right there. FedExMans will be on the way. The FedExMans. I wonder what ever happened to the FedExMans.

I drive that out. I know we waited. All right, we're talking about episode, which I think is called the FedExMens. Actually, I don't know what it's called, but it's about the FedExMens. I got one of those spam text messages, I think, where the FedEx men's. Actually, I don't know what it's called, but it's about the FedEx men's. I got one of those spam text messages, I think, where the guy was like,

hey, he was like, hey, Bob, I'm trying to figure out where to send the money, and I can't, and I was like, oh, you send it to grandma's house, so we want it back and forth for hours and hours and hours. And finally, he said that the Fed, he sent me a picture of cash being wrapped in plastic and a picture of a FedEx plane and he was like the plane is going to be by soon to pick up the money.

I was like wow. I think he basically just took a picture from that show Narcos on Netflix. Yeah, or Breaking Bad or something like that. Yeah, and then he took a FedEx, look like the FedEx guys were getting ready to send the money. He needed the address so the FedEx men could deliver my, my cash. You just need to get a couple of gift cards. That's all I need to do. Three thousand dollars in gold dot gift cards and I was gonna get seven million

dollars in the bank tomorrow. It was a fair trade. So totally fair trade and I really. And I was sweet of him to think of you know, you know, just God's out. I wasn't Bob, but you know, who amongst us wouldn't take the bait, right? And the thing was is that it was a perfectly reasonable story. His money had been locked, he had been, he was a prince of some, you know, South African country, and his money had been locked up by the rebels. And in order to get that money out, he needed to get three thousand cash quick.

He just needed to go to the bank. He'll pay you back. The bank said, get us $3,000 in gold.gif cards from Walmart, and we'll give you your $7 million. There you go, I mean, then we know you're real. That's right. And then he's going to send me the cash via cash. He was going to send me the cash. I was going to put into a bank account and then he'd just take 10% of it. That's all he needed to get his family out for safety.

Right. I could keep the rest. But you're reasonable explanation. Now I'm getting text messages from the, from very attractive, what seem to be Filipino women. Yes. Very attractive and various states of undress on their profile picture and I'll get a text message. Hey, you know, Gwendolyn, I'm trying to figure out which coffee shop we're meeting at and I'll be like, oh Gwendolyn died yesterday, but I'm her newly, you know, her neither-

Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth-

Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth-

Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Her mouth- Spam bullshit and now that's all we get is spam I get 40 spam phone calls a day I know and they're always masking it like something else like the IRS is calling or Walt Disney world is calling or You know, I think the other I was in legal trouble for a while. I've been in legal trouble for so that was 13 Yeah, I was being taken to court. Yeah, I was gonna go to that They wouldn't say what company they were with they just said I like, well, what did I miss a payment on something that I don't think I did? Yeah, listen. But, you know, who amongst us, haven't got just like all the way down the road

of you're about to go to jail? That's right. One of the guys was screaming in the Ellen, I mean, that I needed to give them money for the furniture. I'm like, I don't think I ever bought any furniture through your company, but give me the name of the company that I bought it through and I'll be happy to contact that I've been rectified.

That's not how this works. And if you don't, if I don't get a payment from you today of at least $1,000, unfortunately, you're going to be arrested tomorrow on charges of conspire. And I'm like, charges of consp… what? Who gets arrested for that? Yeah, yeah. And I gave him the money because I didn't want to get arrested. Yes, of course.

I am watching the new… I'm trying to watch. I'm trying to watch the new married at first sight. This hit program on lifetime television. I, there's two versions of it. There's the American version, the Australian version. We've talked about this. We've been talking about this, but pretty much since the beginning of the podcast.

Right. We had Michelle on. We did have Michelle. Who was amazing. Yeah, who was one of the married at first sight, Australia break away hit characters out of that show. And she kind of explained to us all of the craziness that went on behind the scenes there.

They're basically hostages according to her. And we're made to stay married and then they edited it to look like they actually wanted to be there. Now I love Michelle and we've been friends ever since and we communicate still on Instagram every once in a while. But because you know, that's how friends communicate maybe stays on Exactly via likes I like you you like me we like each other

I'm trying to get into this married at first sight see in the Australian version. They don't really get married They just do a commitment ceremony. So there's no teeth to it So I guess that's why they have to hold them hostage in the department building is because there's nothing to hold them there I guess that's why they have to hold them hostage in the apartment building. It's because there's nothing to hold them there. But in America, in the American, the US version, they actually do get married, like legally married. Yeah, because you can just get married all over the place in the US. Yeah, I know.

And I think also it's because there's no, like, I think Americans won't believe it unless they actually get married. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, commitments. Oh, good. What is this? An MTV reality show? Like, it doesn't, there's no teeth to it.

I think, and because of the anti on the marriage part. But therefore, they have made it more serious content-wise. So where Australia is just a lot of people drinking and having fun and throwing shit fits everywhere, right? Influencer wannabes essentially, mixed in with a few, you know, sincere people like Michelle. But now it's all influencer wannabes, of bees essentially mixed in with a few, you know, since your people like Michelle. Yes. But influence or what now it's all influence or wannabes, just there to stir up shit and

make themselves famous. The American version, the US version, I'm sure there's some of that going on too, but really what it is is it's, I think it's there's actually some people who feel like they actually want to get married. There's some sincerity, but therefore, it's pouring a shit. It's fucking boring, man. It's fucking boring. I can't watch it anymore.

It's just boring. I mean, there are moments of intensity and drama that you're like, okay, but that's really what I'm in it for. I'm in it. I wanna see like, you know, knock down, drag. I wanna see two crazy people get married, basically get drunk and go to Vegas and get married and watch as the fallout happens.

The fallout, yeah. But that's not what happens because there's experts and they try and make it, they try to calm everybody down and everybody takes a break and they take a breath and let's go through an exercise and all this other stuff. But so I'm watching the, they just finished one season which I didn't watch because I found it to be boring

and now they started another season in San Diego so I'm like, okay, let me, let me jump on back on board. Give it a second. Maybe there's some interesting people here. Because in certain seasons, there are some super interesting people that you like to keep an eye on. So I'm watching the San Diego, they have four episodes before they actually get to the actual real episodes. It's like, you know, the meet the couples

and then meet the people and then meet the couples before the couples and then almost the wedding day. Yeah, meet the parents and then we're getting toward wedding day and it's almost wedding day and the day before wedding day, there's 50 fucking special episodes before you actually get to the real show Yes, and so I'm watching this and they're going through all the people who have been chosen to get married Right and their perspective couples. I haven't got married yet. It's just like a It's like some background on the people that are that are doing this. It's a two hour long special

But here's what I've noticed Everybody everybody says the following words. I'm Jenny, I'm from San Diego, and I'm a lawyer, and I'm a bit of a free spirit. The fuck does that mean a bit of a free spirit? What does that mean? A bit of a free spirit. I mean, it's very overused. It's crazy overused. Doesn't everybody think of themselves as a free spirit? I mean you have curly hair and wear cowboy boots and white, flowy dress. Or are you, you know, shopping, are you shopping at free people and going, you know, trimming weed in the winter and then going to Coachella in the summer? What exactly are you doing that makes you a free spirit?

And how are you fighting it's in your free spirit lifestyle? Daddy's credit card. That's how you're doing. Or trimming weed. Sounds a little bit too close to home, Brian. So the point is just like everybody says the same old tropes to describe themselves. I find myself to be a people person. I'm a free spirit. I consider myself an extrovert until it's time to get me time. And then I'm an introvert. Everyone says the same fucking things. And it goes around social media, just circles around. Everybody says the same fucking things. And it goes around social media, it just circles around. Everybody says the same thing.

I want somebody to come out and say the opposite. Complete, I'm an unfree spirit. I'm completely controlling. Yeah. I don't like any. I don't want you to have your phone at dinner. I don't like, yeah. I don't like other humans.

Yes. I've never interacted with anybody. I've been a huge stalker. I am a max murder. I am a mass murderer. That's what I do for a living. I want somebody original to come out there and say something original, but very few of them do. That's kind of why I liked love is blind is because there's a few original characters in there. Like on this second season that guy, the Coke-dupped dude. What was his name

Max or I don't know much ad or whatever his name was. I ended up liking him by the end. At first I was like, you are absolutely obnoxious, dude. And you need to take a deep breath and settle down. But the truth is he ended up being like, I think one of the more sincere characters. The sincere character. Because he was crazy and he knew he was crazy and he said he was crazy and that was it.

That's what you got. You got what you got. But all these people dance around it with these silly tropes and these things that they say, just drives me fucking crazy. It's like when we would interview people at the old job, you'd be like a hiring day. You know, people would come in.

Remember that? Like a hiring day when 700 people came in to do an interview, interview after interview after interview. And all of them. What's your worst trait about you? I'm too organized. I'm too organized. I sell too much. I'm too good with clients.

Or, you know, I want to find out what I can bring to the table for you, which is another one, but everyone, what is your best quality? I'm a people person. Who is in a people person? Tell me it was not a people person. Give me one example of someone who's not a people person. I don't get it. I don't want to get why we say these things because they are absolutely true of everybody. No one is not a people person. Yeah. So stop saying this stupid shit. Happens on the

bachelor. It happens on MTV. Did you watch the MTV bucket shore? No, I tried. But you told me it was on. Why didn't you watch? I know I was I had it set and I tried to watch it. Yeah, I was like I can't. Forget about it. It had some of the lowest ratings and and and MTV history. It had like a hundred and twenty two thousand people that watch it in some certain age get age groups. And I'll tell you why is because it's a fucking snooze fest. There's nothing interesting about it. It shows Atlanta as the most uninteresting city. I was talking to my sister about this. Oh my god.

And Barton, so was blue. Yeah, Nico and Blue. We've got to make their episode appearance, their episodic appearance. I'm quite frankly Nico, good, I'm quite frankly surprised Nico even barks anymore. He is, he's on his last leg. Anyway, yeah, I, you know, I tried and it was just like, He tries Nico even barks anymore. He is, he's on his last leg. Anyway.

Yeah, I, you know, I tried and it was just like, I was talking to my sister about things and I said, you know, here we are. We had the Atlanta housewives, we got the buck head shore, shed. So many of these are filmed in Atlanta. I know, it's not really a representation.

I guess of some subsets of people, but. Well, the thing about the real housewives of Atlanta is none of them live in Atlanta. No, it's a suburb. I never found that show to be particularly interesting. Maybe the first season, because I knew that it was in Atlanta and it was kind of a novelty back then that a show was filmed in Atlanta.

Now, everything's filmed in Atlanta, so it's not a novelty anymore. Yeah, love and hip hop. Yeah. Seeing big lights and huge movie trailers and all this other stuff all around town, it's not, it's what happens. Yeah, whatever, another movie.

You're not even interested because you just know that that's what goes on around town. But this Buckhead Shore was apparently pitched by two of the people who are on Buckhead Shore. Okay. Because they're probably rich and well connected. The one guy's dad owns the franchise, Zack's Bees. And so he's like the main character.

It's his Buckhead house, which is not even in Buckhead. Like in 50 fuckin' miles away. It's not even close to downtown Atlanta. And they call it Buckhead Shore, but it's not even close to Buckhead. And I don't get it. They're at the shore of the lake. That's a shore of the lake.

There's no gravitas like there was with Jersey Shore. It's such a novelty back then to see these you know umpa loompa's running around you know yelling and screaming at each other and saying funny phrases there's no funny phrases there's no j j what is it? gtl gym gym tan laundry that's a jtl jtl j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j She's standing longer. Yeah. There's nothing interesting about Bucket Shore. And I would be surprised, I'd be surprised if they get through the entire season to be honest with you. I think they just throw it up on. I think it just hook ups and fights, drunken fights and stuff.

Yeah, but it's interesting with the Jersey Shore kids. Why isn't it? Why can't they make it interesting with the Atlanta kids? I think it's just because none of them are particularly interesting human beings. Right. It's like it's just it's the same people we all see on Facebook and Instagram all day anyways yeah. Yeah so I say skip it all together because it's a snooze fest. Chrissy I was trolling on the internet as you do as I tend to do yes as I tend to do when I have the time. A couple days ago we did a mountain

monsters review as requested by a number of people that have been texting at 6612378296. Keep them coming content ideas. We'd love them here at the show. Our good friend Luke had requested a mountain monster. He likes mountain monsters, right? And so we did a part one. I had two videos queued up for that particular episode, we only got to one because we never get to the second one because mountain monsters, it's too funny to us. So I thought I would do what we've been promising

everybody we will do and I will get to the conclusion of the mountain monsters via part two of this particular. Rock, rock, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, via part two of this particular. Crock-ro-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-paw-w You can go to tcbpodcast.com if you want to find out more information about Chrissy and I. Watch any of the video or listen to any of the audio episodes you can do that right there at the website tcbpodcast.com. We'd love to hear from you 661-237-8296 that 661, the word best, the number 2, y-o-yo. Drop us any questions, comments, concerns or content ideas you have for the show and we'll get back to you, I promise we will.

If you'd like to take a look at the show, you can do that YouTube dot com slash the commercial break. Feel free to hit that subscribe button so you never miss any of the clips or full episodes that we release on a daily basis at youtube dot com slash the commercial break. And if you'd like to be one of the few brave people who are following us on Instagram, go to ATHLEK commercial break on IG. The question we get most often is how can we best support the show? You can leave us a review, a comment, or a rating on your favorite podcast player, wherever you're listening to us, it's likely that they have a review or rating system, please

take one minute out of your day and leave that review. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast also. If you hear one of our sponsors commercials and you're inclined to buy their product or service please use the specialized URLs or codes that we talk about on those ads so that our sponsors will continue to support the show and make it free and frequent to you. We love our TCB listeners and from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you for listening to the show. We're gonna hear a word from said sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. Those of you new to tuning in to TCB, just give us a little, Brian give us a little

background on mountain monsters. She starts off the segway and then I got to finish it. That's you're going to go, I'm going to go balls deep there but you did. Mountain reject. Mountain monsters, Chrissy and I, this is probably I got the finish it. I thought you were gonna go, I thought you were gonna go balls deep, but you did mountain jacks. As they did. Mountain monsters, Chrissy and I, this is probably our six or seven episode that we've done on a show called Mountain Monster, which is a travel channel. That's right.

Comes on the travel channel. It's about a hurly burly bunch of guys that have, I guess, decided, adjudicate themselves. I've taken it upon themselves. I've taken it upon themselves to follow monsters all around East West Kentucky. Yeah.

And wherever else they go. Virginia. Yeah, I think basically wherever they can find some woods to film in, that's where they go. So they go and they chase around all of these mythological creatures, like the smoke wolves and the fire monster and the big, you know, there's the West Kentucky big foot

and there's the southeastern big foot. There's no burden of a virgin to big foot. So these guys have now made hundreds of these episodes chasing around monsters. Now here's the thing that Chrissy and I have always said about this, not once, not one time, not ever. In any of these episodes that we've done and none of the episodes I've watched,

which are many of them, had they ever actually cited one of these monsters, even though they're constantly getting attacked by them and they're running to, they're chasing them and they're running away from them and they have never once actually gotten on camera, any video evidence of a monster anywhere around. So this is clearly like a dead, dead rabbit was the close. Yeah, I think we got a dead rabbit. There was a guy in a mask one time in the corn field,

but he just turned out to be a guy protecting his corn field. He was a real life scarecrow. Because it's too expensive. He got the fake kind. Inflation. Inflation, killing me man. He killed a price of hay through the roof. So I stand out of your own eye,

chasing people around. They have guns, they've been shot at, they have never shot any of those guns. And Chrissy and I just find this to be satire at the highest level. I actually think they know what they're up to. They know, there's gotta be a portion of human beings to watch this, to believe it.

But Chrissy and I take it as I think it's intended, there's gotta be a sex portion of the human beings to watch this to believe it. But Chrissy and I take it as I think it's intended, which is just absolute comedy. Oh, here are our table. Yeah, there's Buck, there's Huck, there's Chuck, there's Rugg, there's Doug, there's Bug. And then there is Bobby. Yeah.

Who is? Yeah, there's Huckleberry. And then of course they have their faithful camera guy. Oh, jeez, guys. I'm so silly. Billy, I'm so sorry. Who is usually too busy watching YouTube in the craft services area to catch up with any monsters

on the actual camera. He can't actually film them. No, he can't film them because he's drinking Mountain Dew. So here we go. We're taking another look. We're even back in to the Mountain Monsters. Oh yeah.

Said it was out past two silos on the backside of the farm. He said, right past two silos on the backside of his farm. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was loud. I ain't sure what it was, but it was loud over by the time. He sure was. He said he wasn't sure what it was, but it was loud. I ain't sure what it was, but it was loud. What'd you say? I said, I ain't sure what it was, but it was loud. Near the silence. Near the silos, Chrissy, the creepy girl in silence. Right next to the macy's

Holy slow down here man slow down here. We don't know what the hell's in here. I Hate farms at night He's head of security he's supposed to be not scared of anything your job. He's head of security. He's supposed to be not scared of anything. I hate farms and I as much as I hate rift. He stings during the day. The vacuars shirt and shoes. I had an uncle one time. When I used to get out of hand, he'd take me out to random farm and drop me off. She's like a dog. Like a dog that you tell your kids. Like that.

And don't come back until you find a creepy scary thing behind the silos. You're a bad kid. Pick some corn for tomorrow's dinner. Who could have uncle that you have? Who could have asked all this drops the kid off of the farm? At night. God.

Did you take a cookie out of the cookie jar? No daddy I didn't. That's it you're going to the farm! Get your sleeping bag, you're spending the night at a random farm. You'll have to deal with the turkeys of scoffing and the chickens of clocking. You'll be lucky if you don't get run over by a dairy cow. Grab your sleep.

Hey, Hulk, senior, it's Bob over here, a couple miles west of the town center. I got that corn form over there. I've been appreciating if you'd stop dropping your children off. Ah, my corn farm in the middle of the night. You're scaring away all the chickens. Oh my god. Oh my drop of mo- I'm gonna try that.

I'm gonna add that to my- I'm gonna add that to my parenting arsenal. Yes. Normally, there's no farms around here. I got one of these old corn carriers right here. This is what brings it out, the field with. Stay on pulling up Upper Walsh. Oh!

We got, we got tractor equipment on the farm. I smell something rotten. Did they just get shot at? No, they shot. Oh, they shot something. Hold on, but listen, he's pointing out the tractor equipment on the farm and indicating something's wrong. I was here in the car dealership parking ludge and I saw some tires.

I saw tires and I knew something was up. Beelbleb. Stay on point up for a while. What was that? What the hell was that? That came from back over there. Yeah, probably you ain't taking a thermal I think it's somebody shooting at them that is probably like what the hell these people doing on my property Get off my fart stop dropping your kids off at my farm

How do I play her movie set either did you notice he said what do you see on the thermal? On the thermal and then it goes to the thermal a thermal imaging camera. Yeah, I have thermometers that are Better at taking temperatures. Oh my god. That's too funny No, I don't have anything Well something sort of hell might have come big I got anything not a thing Was that in this script? I'm not sure.

Oh, guys, I'm sorry. I didn't give you the right thermal, actually. That's my iPad. It's broken. That's why it looks a little weird. That's me throwing rock. I'm playing a little game with myself. Let's ease down to the room, see if we can't lay some eyes on him.

And this place is creepy Someone just shouted us let's get closer and see if we can't lay our eyes on it Let's run toward the gunshots because we have to We got I got eyes I got a nose Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I Just right out over top pass that silo right there. They ready me and Jeff We'll go over here to the left of the silo you and wild bill break to the right You would wild bill wild bill Well, he's doing the crime I think it's the same guy they might just give him a new name

They killed off the old guy and brought him back as wild bill. No one will notice Drops off and see where their eyes went. Alrighty. This is it up here. This is it up here. Right there's their trucks. Good dude. uh really really really we're not 255 acre cornfield you might have to raise the volume a little bit okay belly can you hear me it's me okay he's always yelling why did he go

quiet I don't know yeah He's always yelling. Why did he go quiet? I don't know Yeah Right in here they're missing from the truck. Oh, this is a man here somewhere Now I get to go out looking for the loan Where you guys are now I get to go out look at at him alone, the four camera men, the two audio guys, the crap services. The trailer I wrote into my last contract. I held it in my eyes, both took off down over the bank here.

Yeah, I ain't picking up nothing on this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know it's wrong with this thing. I ain't picking up a damn thing. I don't see no eyes here. Yeah, I ain't picking up nothing on this. Oh, I know it's wrong with this thing. I ain't picking up a damn thing I don't say no eyes here. Why are they always why are the monsters always running across the bank running up over the bank? I think it's like a thing that book put does I guess he runs over the bank. Yeah, yeah towards the water Lookie right here. I spruke in it. Yep, right. There's a place to dinner then oh my George right there That's big that's a mud puddle George there's a mud puddle there was water and mud they've made a puddle

I think we're out to something boys. Yeah, they're hot on the journey quick run to the murder monster Yeah, they're hot on the journey. Like run towards the murder monster. He was headed right down. It was like a hoof. There's a hoof track. I don't even think it was a hoof track. I think it was. It was me running around with that stick.

Like you told me to break in the ass. It looks like something stepped on it. I did my job. I'll tell you right now, like being split up just staying like's on her. We can get in this and he real quick. Oh yeah, I've had a bad feeling all night. You always have a bad feeling.

There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode.

There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not one episode. There's not. And he's got a beard that match any ZZ top member. Oh, absolutely. And he has always got a feeling about something, but one time he was in a cave.

The episode is called, this water is wet. He was in a cave. And there was like a cold water fountain. He like a, you know, water coming on at the top of the cave. And he had to sit under it. And all of a sudden he was possessed by the devil and They were like, oh, I can't take that everyone was standing around watching them going. I can't take it anymore He's cold get him out of there

They've come face to face with Satan himself, but they were scared of it's some cold water These guys are funny I think she's not in my arms seeing those cow tracks Oh shit! The damn lucrative! Holy shit! I'm gonna piss down my leg! Damn don't want to hear it! I piss down myself! This is the electric film! Yes! Oh guys, I should have scouted the location a little better! It is an electric fan. Yes. Ha ha ha. Oh guys, I should have scouted the location a little bit or outside.

You could tell that was real. He was like, Holy shit, I pissed on myself. I pissed on myself. There's an electric fan. There's an electric fan. It got my pee all electrified. Oh. Damn. Are you alright? Yeah. I'm not going to get got a little jazz there mr. Holy shit

I don't get the old hard pump I got some extra bobly. I just got the old penis knocked in the dirt First of all that fence like it was really low to the ground You see it was two inches off the ground. What is it electrifying the top of your boots? I just got my dick knocked in the dirt These guys are so much fun Hello, I just said a shockwave dude old buddy. It's not energized I just said a shockwave to the old body. It's not energized Just in a shockwave right out of my t-go testicles

It's in my boars of swimming My boys were swimming like Michael Philps after breakfast I haven't had a direction like that since I was 26 Righty yes, sir. What's your name bench? There's a whole lot creepier. I mean, I don't know if you should be going in a place Can you contact the property owners that have the fence? Yeah, you might go in there during the day. Because we take a different route on this episode and go somewhere during the day. Look for clues then and then establish cameras around the perimeter.

I mean, there's got to be an easier way to do this guys. Oh man. There don't seem to be a soul inside. This place is kind of freaking me out. There's no one here. It's freaking me out. There's no one here except for all those additional lights out there. 50, 60 feet from.

You see all the lights that are out there? Yeah. This is like an apartment complex. It is. It's like a field back in up to a barbed-up. Yeah, it's that random field in your town. The guy just won't sell because I like it the way you should.

To all these outsiders came in and changed everything. I've never seen it. Now they got hippies in the record shops. Smokein' that was doobies and makin' shit crazy. I've never got a change. I'm gonna deed the city to my dog and then do a tree so you could never tear it down. Both silos are gonna stand forever

They ain't putting no fucking Starbucks on my land. I'll tell you that right now I'll be back. I gotta go to Walmart for oil for my truck But not the one here and down the one down the street in the big city the one here and down, the one down the street in the big city. Now go get me some chillies on Uber Eats. I'm go, I'm never sell the no big city sticker developers. Now go put something on Amazon Prime. It was on Prime Day.

It's Amazon Prime Day. I gotta get back to shopping. I have a watch till my heart beats going too fast when I get started talking about it. Ah. Hey, yeah. We got 20-dush-hine. No, we couldn't make out where the hell that I-Shine went.

But what we did find was, is we're something big. We went right down into mud pedal. Whatever it was, broke right through the ice. Milti, do you think baby was a tractor? Could it have fuzzed my mid-eat-of-the-heavy machinery that sits around here? We just saw the tractor. Oh, yeah. We caught up to here.

I was low. I had my head up there looking and went, blah, blah, blah, blah. We'll come in the electric fence. Knock my old penis in the dirt, son. Oh, that's what it was. Knocked my old penis in the dirt. First of all, he didn't fall down.

No. And he could be just talking about his balls hanging low. Eventually gravity gets everybody Like your pants was yeah, two inches off the ground. That's a testicle electric fire for old men I gotta put one ball down each side of my dick. He's not the head of my penis right the dirt Sad about dickiness in the dirt. Uh, Dr. Edamuffin is right in the dirt. That's squallable. Yeah.

What's that? Do you hear that squall? That was me. Well, I've seen something like, seen names sparks. Maybe he needs a beer, like the rest of them. I know, he's like, we need to get on out of round the kitchen.

The guy that got his penis knocked and the dirt doesn't have any beer. No. But now he's becoming a stand-up comedian. Oh, the sudden news. He's jokes, he jokes, too's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, he's jokes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right back down Through over here So what will let's yell some more each other? I'm right here. You don't have to yell so much Fuck

Jeff Park. Yeah. They were just all together. Why is he alone now? Well, because Chris is the only way to make the show interesting. This is the Dissery Jew and the background. Wow. Like a Ray Maker. I know. You can see the guys that do the music to this one.

Like, fuck, we got another year, another season. Break up this. Get out the Dissery dude and get out the Dissery dude and the harmonica. I'm gonna be careful not to go charging in here too hard because whatever they heard they said it sounded big. It could be right in here and I'm by myself. No backup. I'm gonna be careful here. No backup except everybody's filming you.

No backup except for the six camera guys behind you The director the producer We'll try to call oh there's a novel idea the first time every the history of mountain monsters Someone decides to use a cellular device to talk to the other people No cell service. Of course, serviced. No service, I do it. I do it. And there never will be.

If I have any choice about a never-button, one of those damn cell phone towers on my land, you won't catch me doing that. Honey, do we pay the AT&T bill? Huck. There's so many lights around. Great, already at a 4.5. Oh, great. Now I got to make a decision about which way to go. How's the open is going to be an early night? I got to get lost and then there's got to make a decision about which way to go. How's open is going to be an early night?

I got to get lost and then there's got to be screaming in the air, lad. He he he. There are, this is filmed in black and white, dark by the way, just to let you know youtube.com slash the commercial break and if we could even put it on our YouTube channel. Sometimes mountain monsters comes after us.

But it's filmed in dark, black, and white. Mm-hmm. They all have headlamps on. They all have headlamps on. And the camera's got to have a light too, because- It's a bright light. It's a bright light, because you can see that they're clearly spotlighting whoever they're filming.

And then there are lights all around the farm. Like, this is not some dark, scary farm if you did it in color. But by putting it in night vision it makes it look super scary. I'll go up high and work my way back around. I tell you these farmers are getting tired of this stuff, but it sounded like to me what they had encounters with today wasn't wolf. Everything else leaven up in this investigation has been a wolf right now.

Sounds like things are changing a little bit. What? What's that? Sound like the commercial break. Everything leavened up to season two. Was Peter Fonda Henry Fonda, and then all leavened up to season three was Frank UB. These are farmers are getting sick of it. To what? Oh, you know Chris, yeah. I mean, if you're really that invested in Mount Monsters, Mount Monsters is kind of like an episode of Sidevail.

Just jump right in. You don't have to get it. Huck. Yeah. I'll tell you. episode of Sidevail. Just jump right in. You don't have to get it. Huck. Jeff. I tell you, I don't like these guys being out here. They've just disappeared. Without me.

I mean, not being able to contact them. Well, you're Dicks falling in the ground. Well, you guys, someone's got their dick in the dirt over there. Someone's doing dick riding. I don't know what help he is. You know those street artists that are making little characters? I'm talking about them doing dick dirt art. Dic dirt art. You remember talking about the guy that was making art with his penis?

It was penis and it was pretty good actually. The final result was pretty good. I wouldn't want to come with this penis. And it was pretty good actually. Yeah, why? The final result was pretty good. I wouldn't want to come with a 10 feet of it, but yeah. There's something out here and I can't find them. I don't know what to do. Huck. Huck.

Jeff. Listen, listen, listen. You're a f- Listen, listen, listen. That a pig? It's a pig! It's a pig! It's a pig! It's a pig! You want to know why?

It's a FAR! You got dope? Got dope fired up or something. You guys! You asshole's out there with the headlamps bothering asleep It's like if my kids got to go pee pee poop for the middle of the night. I get all angry and blue barks Right sounds like my bedroom in the middle of the night. Yeah Oh, no, no, no, no, no, look here, look here. Look here. That's a, that's a dick track.

Hahaha. Someone knocked their dick in the dirt. We got blood. Oh, you got one. No. We got one. Look up here. This blood right here is fresh.

Oh, the sun not looked down. Oh, the sun not started screaming. Hahaha. Oh, the sun not started screaming for no reason shit get real Doesn't look like blood by the way that looks like when you like clay Eat a watermelon jolly ranch Blood Mud and then I see it's just like blood. And then I see it.

It's just mud. Yeah, then I see it. Well, life. Steadiest stream of blood leading all the way up this path. That gun. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Some jumped up! Some jumped up on me! I didn't see it! I'm sorry! I was facing the opposite direction. Yeah, the camera. The camera. Oh! Oh! Oh Some jumped up some done jumped up on me. I didn't see it. I'm sorry. I was facing the opposite direction The camera could not get a shot of it. Yeah, so what happened was why they made all that noise is because something apparently came right up on this guy named Buck

However, like every other episode Mountain monsters the cameraman was unfortunately pointing in the right direction Yeah, he didn't catch it They didn't think to get a second cameraman after 183 episodes. No, just get another cameraman. Yeah, tell you what you point this way I'll point that way. Well catch it or I gotta catch it There's something out here Jeff huh

Let's let's hear that you hear that I don't know what that noise is, but that ain't no wolf. Look at this blood, look at this blood. That's me on the roadcaster making sounds. Oh my gosh, look at this. Look. Look. Well, Jesus, what is that? That's a hole. They go to color now. They go to color and they blur out whatever they're looking at. He says it's a hog, but what it looks like to me is a bunch of balloon animals Have been covered like it. Or look like insulation from your attic. Yeah, insulation. Yeah Last episode the last Mount Monsters episode they had found a

Some kind of altar or something that was made with a dead rabbit in the middle of it However, if you paused on the one shot they did of the close-up of the rabbit, it clearly was a stuffed animal. It was. That ain't no wolf kill. Oh, sudden I looked down and there's this huge, re-elated hog. This thing shredded the pieces. There's something bigger in a wolf here. I don't know what did this, but whatever it was was a lot bigger than a wolf. It was our makeup department. Yeah, one boy. Whatever it was. Was a lot bigger than a wolf. It was our makeup department

300 pounds his name was Andy and we paid him $30 to make us a blurred out version of a dead-home If we gave him craft services of course of course, there's air bubbles in this blood In this was eight the lungs are you CSI Miami now? There's air bubbles to see your blood that tells me the time of death is between three and seven minutes ago Microcosmic DNA tells me that this was eaten by some kind of him and an annoyed Like a big foot or Andy from our art department. Yeah What in the world did this? That they ready guys, you ready

Stay ready everybody put Stay ready. Stay ready. Everybody put the camera man. Stay ready. That's coming from what? I got a light up here. Hey. Hey. I feel like bark. Oh my god, they were 13 feet away from each other. Yellow and each other's name they couldn't see each other.

There's four cameras. That's what it's about. Yeah, it sounds like but, oh, there he is, directly in front of us. I could literally reach out and touch him. So everyone's lost out in this big field or something. And when they find each other, they are literally right next to each other. Headlamps, camera camera lights camera men producers ah that's like Mark yeah all right is that you?

the fuck is that you? is that you directly of his dim shit? Who else would be trolling around some farm at three in the morning with a headlamp gun in a camera crew? Who writes these scripts To see you guys, I'm sorry I ain't got time to talk there is a 450 Out creature eating whole hogs. I think we better get a scat in Adeline What the hell you got for me?

You're not gonna believe this. It's blurred out so you can't see it but you're gonna believe this It's cotton candy covered in ketchup So we're gonna have to blur it out because it doesn't look very realistic Remember we paid Andy $30 to make us a pretend dead hog didn't turn out so well. That's okay. We'll just blur it out Look here. Check us out Yeah Look at that mutilated. Son of a bitch. Look at that. Something got mutilated and it wasn't my dick.

Ha, ha, ha. It's hard, there's ain't no wolf kill. The wolf would have had this strung all over the place. Whatever did this, set right here and ate on this hog. This thing is one big badass monster. I'm telling you, whatever's here, it killed this and it headed back into the woods. It wasn't happy because I found its kill. I interrupted it. There was a happy...

I talked to him on Instagram and he said he was really upset. By the way, I disturbed his feeding time. I told him I was sorry, but I don't think he accepted my apology. He went into the woods. We're going to therapy next week. I told him I was willing to do couples counseling and he said okay. I'm hoping we can repair our relationship and get on with the episode. How do you know what he was thinking? You don't even know what it was! Ha ha ha ha ha!

It could have been a car, who knows. Ha ha ha ha ha! I tried to look, but here's the problem. I ground solid ice. Like concrete. Yeah. There's no getting a track. Huh.

We have no clue what we're up against. None. I'm telling you right now. There's no getting a track. We have no clue what we're up against. None. I'm telling you right now. I still think there's wolves here, but there's something much bigger. Oh, this proves it. Oh, this proves it for sure. Old insulation. And called insulation, a jolly rancher juice. It tells me right now, Oh, insulation and pink lemonade tell me right now Or Dana was something much bigger than probably Andy from the art department, but who knows

Seagation may have got thrown for a loop, but this team we don't quit. We're still going to prove that there are wolves in West Virginia Well, leave it up to the boys. Leave it up to the boys to find something besides wolves in West Virginia. Oh man. Can't get enough of it. Can't get enough of it. It's too funny. It's too funny.

It really is. Oh man. That knocked my dick in the dirt. I don't know about it. Yeah. That electrocuted my boys. That knocked my dick in the dirt, I don't know about you. Hee! That electrocuted my boys, welcome up!

Oh my gosh, hey! If you just joined in the commercial break of your new to the show, thank you very much for jumping on board. We would love to hear from you! 661-237-829-661, the word best, the number 2. Why oh yo, 661 best to yo. Send us your questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas if you have a story about your dick me and doctin' the dirt we'd love to hear. You can also contact us on the brand new TCBpodcast.com, all the audio, all the video right there from

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It's okay, we don't mind. Here's a two, if you're new to the show, here's the tradition. You do one of two things. You say the commercial break, it's okay we don't mind here's the two if you're new to the show here's the tradition you do one of two things you say the commercial break it's not for everyone or you give us a bad review like unfunny unrelatable stupid and obnoxious and then give us five stars yes that's the tradition goes with a come I did see one person gave us five or gave us one star and he was like I saw it because you were number one in Canada, but now I don't get it

Did he really? So maybe people can leave us a message that says I don't get it five stars. Yeah, I don't get it five stars I don't get it one star whatever whatever you're in dude We just have fun on the show you don't have to get it that's the point you don't have to get it That's laughing Just go laugh along with us have a good time laugh along with us two good friends just trying to make each other laugh That makes you laugh that's good if it doesn't well This is how we do at the end of the show I'd say Chrissy. I don't know. I'm tired. I can't do it any more today. Well, you got your dick in the dirt. I got my dick in the dirt. I gotta go dig it out. Yeah.

So until next time I love you. I love you. Bestie. Bestie. Bestie you out there on the podcast universe. Until the next time we meet Chrissy and I always say, we must say, and we will say. Bye!I'm a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, a human, human, a human, human, a human, human, a human, a human, human, a human, human, a human, human, human, a human, human, a human, human, a human, human, a human, human, a human, human, human, human, a human, human, human, a human, human, human, human, a human, human, a human, human, human, human, a human, human, a human, human, human, human, human, a human, human, human, a human, human, a human, human, a human, human, human, a human, human, human, a human, human, human, human, a human, a human, human, human, a human, a human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, a human, human, human, human, human, human, human, a human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human you