The Commercial Break - More Pulp, More Poop

Episode Date: January 10, 2024

Bryan & Krissy are actively alienating both Bryan and our audience by talking about...you guessed it...poop transplants. Co-Chiefs of Chuchas! The Three Kings Settlers of Catan & the miserable board game guy Bryan’s lawyer’s sex room Hillbilly Horror Stories Vitamins, supplements, and cleanses (it’s January…but we don’t buy it!) We

I'm gonna say cool man! Anyway, apparently I have to get back to work! This is bullshit! On this episode of the commercial break... I've always said... More pulp and... More... I don't even wanna say it.

I don't wanna say it. Yeah, I like the pulp. I do like some pulp too. I actually don't get the point of no pulp. Yeah. Like if you're gonna have orange juice, like real orange juice, have some orange juice. Like, chew on it.

I like to chew on my juices. I like that. I like that. I like that my juices have a little crunch to them. You know that? K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k- The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The third in the morning! Ah yeah, Katsukins, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is the Chief Officer of 2Chos.

Chris, enjoy, totally best to you, 2Chos. Nice to be right here. Best to you are there in the podcast universe. You are the Chief 2Cho officer of this podcast. That's good. Or maybe yesterday's, but whatever. We'll figure it out behind the scenes. We're co-chee-s.

We're co-chee-s and chuchos. You're a fajina. What's wrong with my fajina? Nothing. It's supposed to look like that. Ah! No, no, no! That's a thing, that story for off the earth.

Yeah. Let me ask you a question about the holidays, because I'm curious. And I saw a post and now I'm curious. OK. And I'm curious for the listeners, too. You please write in and let us know. Are you a one-gift at a time kind of Christmas family? Like does everybody take their turn opening up the gifts,

one gift at a time? What is it like a free-for-all in everybody opens gifts at the same time? Yeah, no, we open one gift at a time. Oh, yeah. I get it. Around the circle. I know it it. I go around the circle. I know it creates extreme boredom around the circle

because you have to watch everybody else open their gifts at one at a time. I like singing when everybody else is getting and I like giving gifts. I like giving gifts. I like watching the children. There's like a few true joys about having children. And one of them is like the unadulterated love

that they show for you, they're like puppy dogs. I know that's gonna turn into therapy when they're 18, but for now it's unadulterated love. And then one of the things that I've found that is like, truly joyful, is watching children open up presents, especially on Christmas when they get that thing, they really, really wanted. Yeah.

But I get it, there's a lot of people complaining about the one gift at a time around the circle kind of activity. So don't do it. Well, it's not that easy. It's not that easy. You've got a whole family, you can't just make that decision you don't want to really. I don't really. I love whoever's hosting, whoever's house you're at, that's who gets to decide.

I see the children get their time in the sun and then everybody else opens up the gifts at the same time. Oh yeah, no, we're talking about children now. Okay, no, there's this more kind of a free fall, especially when they're young. Oh, no, I'm saying the opposite. Like, okay, you kids open up your gifts one at a time and I will watch in pure joy. The five minutes of joy that I get every 365 days, I'd like to watch that uninterrupted. However, when it comes to all the adults opening up their gifts, then I say, that's a free fall.

Oh, I'm opposite. Oh, you are? Yeah. Okay. It depends too on how many people are involved. I was usually like a small gathering. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we have many more people at our house.

Yes. And it's like, do I have to watch another pair of socks being unwrapped and watch the feign excitement while, you know, oh my God, you always wanted those fucking tubes. I can't. Oh, we used to do a presence for ourselves on Christmas Eve. And then the kids got all of theirs Christmas day. So you made the kids just sit and watch while you open up gifts on Christmas Eve? Well, no, they were in bed then. Oh, they're in bed. Oh, see, I told you, we need a camera at Chrissy's house because now this gets stranger and stranger.

That's the way I grew up. Oh, yeah, all the ARV kids are older guys. Yeah, I know. But when you were a kid, your parents would send you to bed. Yes. And then they would have an additional party outside of the children to open up their gifts to each other. Right, well, I think yes. Mm.

And then usually the grandparents would come over the next day on Christmas day. All the kids would open presents and then you know, do a little white. It was just, it was all gifts giving. Yeah, now this is all making sense. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. This is all making sense.

Some of your problems now, I'm connecting this back to, you go to bed while we do the fun stuff, open up gifts and talk shit about our shitty little children. And you and your sister were probably sitting there listening to your parents talk shit about you and how much money they spent on your gifts. And then you would come Christmas morning with that negative feeling that my parents don't love me because they didn't want to let me watch the kids.

No, no, no, no, no, no, I know. I'm on my counselor. I had much younger sister, so we had my, so Kelly and I had to pretend that it was still Santa. Yeah, we're going to get in that territory. So tonight is, as we're recording this, tonight is the three kings, which is a holiday that is celebrated in Spain, other places, it's celebrate the lot. Okay, three kids. Yeah, the Trace Rayos, which I'm saying completely incorrectly, but that's okay.

That's what I do. I try. I go to, they send me to bed early, and then I listen to them as they in Spanish talk shit about. Right. So tonight's the three kings. So I say to the kids, hey, it's tonight is the three kings. The three kings are gonna come and visit.

And one of my kids instantaneously turns to me and he goes, that's not real, is it? And I go, what? And he goes to three kings. They're not like real. They're just pretend, right? And I go, no, no, no, no, they're real. And he's like, dad, our three kings

really coming down the fire. I'm like, hey, hey. And I go, no, the three kings come in a car. They show up and they walk to your front door. You let them in, but you gotta be asleep when it happens. I'll leave for the adults. And this is what he said to me right before he goes to bed.

I don't believe you. I have never heard of the three kings. The three kings, the three wise men. Yeah, Santa and the three kings and the three kings. Okay. Partridge in a pair of treat. Now we're just making our holidays, I think. She's just watching the kids open up presents.

So there will be more presents than tomorrow morning? Yes, this is the holiday of Captain Kangaroo. So, when you go to sleep, there's a kangaroo that comes in. Destroy our house, beat Staddy up and then runs out the door. That's what I'm gonna tell him when I come in with a black eye from some long night at the farm and be like, oh, it's the night of Captain Kangaroo.

The kangaroo King. He's thumbtool. Oh, my God, he did. You know, my in-laws, like, they hate me because, I mean, they hate me for a lot of different reasons, but one of the ones they hate me is, they love to play this game. Are you guys board game people over at the house? Yeah, I love to play board games. I know this about you.

Yeah, you're a board game girl. I never, my family wasn't like that when we were growing up. It was like the least amount of talking and interaction we could do as a family was probably better for everyone's mental health. So we never played board games together as kids unless we had, unless the kids were playing like, you know, shoots and ladders,

like that, hungry hit board. It was candy land, simple games, maybe monopoly. I think monopolies as far as we took it as children But the adults never played with us. Really never never never. I want to all play monopoly clue. I loved clue I can't even get into I can't get into clue. I just can't get into clue. It seems so boring to me in the Theater with the knife Mrs. Crockett or whatever her name is I don't know this is beca Always like to be Miss. Schollett. Mrs. Schollett.

I murdered you with a ranch in the Seattle. I never got it. I used to write stuff down. And a game that you have to write stuff down, I'm not interested in. Like I think shoots and ladders was good for me because you just took a turn and she went down the slide. That was the best game I played.

And we're hungry hippo. Where there was like action all the time. Oh, right. The marbles. For whatever reason, my family, my extended family, Astrid and her family, and they have gotten into this game called Katan, or as some people say it, Katen, but it's actually Katan, C-A-T-A-N, Katan.

It is a game that is extraordinarily complicated, and so fucking stupid. I don't know why we're playing this game, but every time that the in-laws come, anytime there's a big family gathering, at night, their favorite thing to do is play this game, Coton, which in, it's fine, whatever.

Okay, so you like to play that game, but now I'm looked at is kind of like the, like the, like the, yeah, the asshole Gringo who won't play because every time they play you know I got a lot I got to do work in here most of the time which is really my that's what I say when I have to do stuff And yours and your watching that's right and that's right and that's right. Yeah, I but I incomplete Katan with that so Katan Katan and I'm like I'm like a fucking Katan I got to make a living I got children I got to do, and I have time to write stuff down

and roll dice and cards and all that shit moved up. I don't know, I don't know, I don't wanna do it. So finally, on New Year's Eve, as I mentioned in the last episode. You got into it. I said, okay, I didn't get into it, but I said, okay, for the love of all that's holy, I don't wanna be looked at as the asshole.

I'm not doing it because I want to, I'm doing it because I don't no longer wanna be the party the asshole. I'm not doing it because I want to. I'm doing it because I don't no longer want to be the party pooper. I want to participate in the family activity of playing the stupid fucking game to no one's ever heard of. It was pain and pain avoidance. It was pain avoidance. Really, like everything else in my life,

I feel like I was doing it to make myself look better. Not feel better. You know what I'm saying? I'm one of those guys. It's like if it makes me look better, I'll do it. It makes me feel better, I'm not interested. So I sit down and I go to of those guys. It's like, if it makes me look better, I'll do it. It makes me feel better, I'm not interested. So I sit down and I go to play this game.

And Chrissy, first of all, it takes an hour to explain to me what's going on, because no one really knows what's going on. No one really knows how to play the game. They're all as confused as I am, but they've been playing this thing for years. So they sit down and they're passing out these cards and they're telling me how to move the pieces

and you gotta roll this dice. Is it a special card, are they special cards or are they like a out these cards and they're telling me how to move the pieces and you got to roll this dice. Is it a special card? Are they special cards or are they like a deck of cards? Don't even get me started. It's a deck of cards, but then there's special cards. Then you have two dice. One dice has pictures on it. One dice has, I don't know, it's a whole complicated thing. And then you have this board and you got to move your pieces around. You get points if you do that and you get a special, and you got to build a house and then put a hotel there and do this. and it's kind of like building societies. That's what you're doing.

But it's an awful complicated way. I want to play this now. You'd love it because it makes no sense whatsoever. You'd love it. Just a time wasting makes no sense whatsoever. But so I get roped into the New Year's Eve game, but luckily 50 shades of gray is it. Right. So I got code Johnson's boobs to look at. And then on New Year's Day, I say to myself,

okay Brian, for once in your fucking miserable life, just be the guy who says, who wants to play Katan? So I say, who wants to play Katan? And everybody who's exhausted from the night before, says, okay, we'll play a game. Asher's like, are you sick? Is everything okay? Do you have COVID? What's going on? Why would you? You know, I don't understand. Why do you want to play? And I'm like, I want to play. You don't have

to play. If you don't want to play, no, I want to play. You don't blind. Don't do it because you think you have to go. No, no, no, no, I want to play. Me. I'm starting the board game. Look at me. I'm just a big part of the family. I'm the I want to play, me. I'm starting the board game. Look at me, I'm just a big part of the family. I'm the guy who's initiating it. I'm like the ringleader of this. I know, but don't feel like you have to. I'm feel like you feel like you have to because I feel like you want to.

No, no, no, no, no, babe, babe, look at me. Look at my eyes. Look how sincerely I want to play Katan. You didn't understand. Of all the things that are on my list of things to do in 2024 playing fucking katana is the number one thing so please let me start this game the entire game you don't have to play are you tired you want to go to bed you don't have to play don't worry about it and then Gustavo is like good to be like he's okay brother he's okay I know I know I was

busting your balls but you don't have to play You don't have to play. So now in my head I'm like they don't like that. I'm playing like they don't really want me to play the game. Right. No, they enjoyed Riving you about it. Yeah, they enjoyed yeah, yeah They never really wanted me to play the game. They just wanted it was actually their little thing. That's right It was they had that you weren't you were being party boopers though that was thing now. Now you're diagnosing me like I'm diagnosing you. Yes, that's one healthy thing we do here on the commercial break is talk about other people's mental health. And yes, that's correct.

Now that's how I feel. Right now in my head, I've got this whole thing going on. I'm like, okay, they want me to play or do they not want me to play? And so we're playing this game. Well, they might not have also wanted you to play because you didn't understand how to play. Well, that's true. Also, I just was kind of, and you know,

anything that I do, or I'm not really a hundred percent into it, I'm not kind of guy who wears my heart on my sleeve. Like, if I'm bored, upset, uninterested, you're gonna know it. Yeah. Because I have that resting uninterested face. I'm like, uh-huh, uh-huh. They're trying to explain it to me,

and I'm like, I don't say a word. I'm like, uh-huh. And in my head, I'm like, I don't fucking understand a word these people are saying. I don't know how to play this game. Can we stick with monopoly? At this point, I'm like, break out the clue. Because I'd rather play the clue.

Because at least I have some running understanding of how to play that. So if we're going on, this game is going on. The football is on in the background. So at least I've got something that could like a double, double interesting thing that's going on. Right. So I, at some point, and then we're talking

not very long into the game, this game can last like two hours. It will like 30, 40 minutes in. And they've been asking me the entire time. Are you sure you want to play? Like you don't have to play. You don't look like you want to play. And I'm like, oh my God, fucking wanna play.

Shut up. Now I'm miserable because they're asking me all the time. And then Astrid's like, I'm so tired. I think I'm going to go to bed. And I'm like, mother of fucker, how many nights have I been laying in that bed till one, two, three o'clock in the morning? Why you guys row it up over here, having a gay old time with fucking Katan.

Right, and now I start the game and everyone wants to leave. I think I'm just a miserable prick. Maybe didn't. It became there that if you were in on Katan from the beginning, see then it would have been okay, but now, but since you pooped, it got. That's right. For so long, then it became their thing. Once you're the miserable board game guy, you can never undo it. No. They always think.

Yeah, they always think I have an ulterior motive for playing the game now. You have to say, but I, yeah, yeah, you pinchy, getting go with, go and do fine. Plus, exactly. They can talk their Spanish too, you know, and now they have to speak English.

Now they have to speak English. That's right. It's a big inconvenience for everybody, right? I mean, they still speak Spanish. But let me tell you something also about playing board games with Astor and Gustavo here. I'm going to share a little family secret. These two, I've never met two more competitive people in my entire life. The whole family is like this, but Astor and Ingustavo are...

I love the competition, dude. They are so competitive. Every turn takes 15 fucking minutes with those two because they get yelled at scream at each other about who got what and who's doing what. You can like trade cards and all this other stuff. I didn't do anything like that. I didn't ask in Guest Alvaro. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So finally at one point during the New Year's Day game, I'm like, guys, this will go a lot quicker.

If you two would fucking stop arguing about everything. But no, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't. It never ends, they're always doing this thing. But then, you know, to get up and leave during the middle of the game, I was like, uh, my heart. What the fuck? What, I thought we were gonna play the game? Turn on 50 shades of gray.

Let me see some tints, I'll be fine. That's all I want to code a Johnson's tits. That's all I want. That 50 shades of gray is the most ridiculous movie I've ever seen. By the way, have you seen this movie? I have not seen the movie. Oh my god. So you got to get on that and watch it like we watch mountain monsters.

Watch it as it was intended. What do you think Jeff and I are doing? Pure company. They'll need to watch the movie. Oh. Oh. Well, I wasn't even gonna go there, but now that you opened up that pan of worms. I'm kidding, but according to what your brain thinks that we do.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I know there was one door you didn't open during the house to where it was like, Red Room. Red Room. Did I tell you the story about the tour and I was like, Red Room. Red Room. Red Room. Did I tell you the story about the lawyer that I had one time? I had this lawyer and he, when I worked in real estate, I had a lawyer, loved the guy.

And he turned out that he lived like two streets behind me. He had just bought a house, two streets behind where I lived when I was living downtown. And so after the girl that I lived with, ran off without her dog and all of that house, all of myself worth and left her dog, then I'm back out on the streets and give her back out on the streets. With your skabies.

Yeah, with my skabies. Scratching. Calling D. Hey, do you got anything for Skavies? Okay, now I don't have my skavies? Okay, now that's my scabies, that's all my yadging. So, he moves into this house, right? Like a couple of weeks after I broke up with this girl. And so I go to his house one night for a party.

We're all there, we hanging out. It's like one, 32 o'clock in the morning. And there's a lot of party going on. I love to drink in and drug in and all this other stuff. And I am the last man standing at this party, which is fine because I like this guy and we're having a good time and we're chit and chatin' it up. And he's very interesting and intellectual human being,

which is the exact opposite of me. And I like getting into intellectual discussions with people who know what they're talking about because then I don't have to pretend that I know what I'm talking about. It makes me feel better. Exactly. Because you could learn little snippets for yourself.

Well, yeah, I've often said I know a whole bunch about a whole little, excuse me, I know a whole little about a whole bunch the other way around. So we're there. We're a little fucked up and he goes, Hey, man, you want to see something? Like, I don't want you to think I'm weird, but you want to see something? And I'm like, you know what I mean? Think you're weird. Now I'm thinking, here we go.

I'm getting murdered by my lawyer. This is like a bad Sean Penn movie. It's about to get started. Uh, sure. Yeah, okay. You know, why not? I'm a forget. Don't think I'm weird.

He runs. Does somebody say no at that point? No, because you're all fucked up and half your brain is like, he's going to murder me and the other half is like, I'm never going to go to sleep because of the drugs, but then I'm never going to go to sleep because I'm always going to wonder what I was supposed to see. And what do you say? No, actually, I don't want to see anything interesting. No, I woke up this morning. I said, I don't want to see anything interesting today. What do you do? Right.

So he goes, he has like these huge built in bookcases. Beautiful house, huge booked in, built in bookcases. He goes, he gets a step stool. He goes up to the top shelf, which is like, you know, 11 feet in the air. He grabs out of this bowl, a set of keys, and he's like, come on. And I'm like, oh shit, here we go. It's a basement where dead people are.

Or something. He's got a coffin. He's got a dog fighting ring going on downstairs. Or some shit, I don't know. A coffin fighting? I don't know. I have no idea. A poker game with enslaved poker dealers.

I'm not sure what's going on. But he walks over to a room that I just didn't even, you know, it's just how I've never been there. So I didn't know. It's in between the bathroom and his bedroom. And I thought it was a closet when I went to the bathroom. But of course I was all fucked up too. So I probably wasn't thinking much about the locked bedroom.

And he, there's a deadbolt on this room. And that's the first time I noticed that there's a fucking deadbolt on the room. Now I am really nervous. I'm like, oh shit, what did I get myself into? Maybe I should have said, no, I don't want to see anything interesting today. He opens up that room, pitch black.

He flips on the light and it is a red room. And I mean a serious red room. Sex swing, leather table, built-in bookshelves with special lights on them, a glass case with all kind of dildos, build-of-those. Yeah, this is sex room. It is a sex room, and I mean it is a verified sex room. There was a whole series on Netflix, like a year ago about this.

Yeah, they did like a, like where the woman was designing these for people. Oh, there was? Yeah. I'm going to get on that. Yeah, I want to sex room. There were like 10 episodes, and yeah, I'm gonna get on that I want to sex right to episodes and yeah, and she would tailor her designs He would really really really. Oh, it was very fascinating. If we were doing this super fucking podcast like it turned this into a red room Actually, I think I'm gonna turn this into a room. I'll probably spend less money and make more Yeah, more fun with the camera. Oh, yeah, that's right, I can tape it all.

So I mean, this thing was just like impressive. It was like there was weird wallpaper on the wall. It was moody. Red lights the whole thing was just done up correctly, right? And I was like, wow, you did this? You just moved in two weeks ago. And he's like, well, I took ownership of the house about a month and a half ago. And he's like, well, I took ownership of the house about a month and a half ago.

And he's like, and I had some people, contractors, come in and make this the way that I wanted to. You know, I didn't put the toys, I didn't have to put the toys in there, but I just kind of told them what I needed. And I looked at the sex swing, and I'm like, is that like hanging? And he's like, yep, they put an extra beam up there

to hang it, to make sure that it would stay steady. And I was like, oh my God, you really thought about this. He's like, Brian, I get more ass with this than you'd ever imagined. This is the same set of lawyers that would celebrate a closing by taking us to the strip club where they had a permanent VIP table.

They, you know, and I was telling you the story about how his partner in the business was always like, you're Brian on left. You're Brian too, lap dances. I was told it's so weird about it. And I'm like, oh no, I don't, you know, and I was telling you the story about how his partner in the business was always like You brought a lift and you're trying to lie to that dances. I was told so weird about it Yeah, no, no, I don't you know don't know. Thank you. Anyway, I'm not gonna get laid and you're just gonna round me out I'm all I want to do is talk to you and find out how your childhood went like I'm one of those weird guys That you probably don't want to be involved with but these guys they got they were always around But these guys, they got, they were always around, attractive women, right? And especially this guy who owned this house.

So now it all made sense to me. Word got out, he went to the strip club. He met the one girl who said, yes, I'll go home with you, or party outside of the facility or whatever. Because he's also a nice guy. He was nice, he was interesting, he was a lawyer, like, I mean, you know, there was what,

why wouldn't you want to go hang out with him? Sure. But I picked up on it. This guy took one girl home. They had a great night. He took her to the red room and then word slowly got out around the facility around the strip club that, you know, hey, this guy has it going on. He, this guy was like a twinkie little dude. I mean, he was like skinny. He was a detractive guy, this guy was like a twinkie little dude. I mean, he was like skinny. He was such a attractive guy, but he was like super skinny, a little bit tall, kind of gangly looking.

And he always had attractive women around him. And so I thought to myself, I should do a red room. If I was at all interested in pain, I would absolutely do this. If I was at all interested in giving pain, I would do this. If I was comfortable with sex toys or anything but the missionary position I would do this that's how to be about pain

watch the show and that's like you got to know what's not I'm just making a joke I'm not gonna have a red room I'm gonna have a yellow room you know where the crazy people go with all the soft walls and stuff that's what I want to ask yeah can I get a love sack in my red room with a TV that has only TLC, my 600 pound life playing 24 hours a day? That's my kind of turn on. You know what I'm saying? That's where I get hot and bothered. Give me doctor now, Zartan.

That's what I'm talking about. All right, let's take a break. We're going to be back. We got lots of new stuff. Thanks for joining. Hey, season number five by the way.'s take a break. We're gonna be back. We got lots of new stuff. Thanks for joining. Hey, season number five, by the way. Yes, I know. Welcome season five.

Welcome to season five. I want to throw this, this is kind of a throwaway line, but I don't know what to make of it. There is a guy named Skip, who is a long-time listener of the show, and he's been listening for a year or two. What's up Skip? What's up Skip? And he has, you know, on Apple, you can like change your review periodically, right?

You know, you can put a review, but then you can also change the review. Okay. So Skip, who has also communicated with us outside of me. Don't tell everybody that because... Oh yeah, that's true, because then I'm going to change it to four stuff to a star. Anybody that has given us a great review is going to be like, eh. I don't know what's... Anyway, okay. I don't wanna get into all the Medusa, but, so he wrote, he changed a review and wrote that this podcast called,

Hillbilly Horror Stories. Oh, right. Do you remember this? Yes. So at first, I think we thought he was just trying to put a plug-in for Hillbilly Horror Stories, but it turns out that they were talking about our show and talking about it, not because we paid them to talk about it, because they just were interested

in the show. And something about something, the podcast is moving somewhere or needs a plug, it needs a shout out or whatever. So I'm going to take a leap of faith here and I never do this. We never plug other podcasts, but I'm gonna say, if you are interested in this kind of thing, Hillbilly horror stories is a podcast. It's been nice to the commercial break and said things. You can go there and take a listen.

And I know that we never do this, but I'm just shouting out because I like Skip, and that's why I'm doing it. Okay, so there you go. I said it, Hillbilly horror stories, they need your patronage. If you're interested, please go over there and take a listen. And that's the one cross promo I'm doing this year.

So fuck you Conan O'Brien. We'll be back. Are you mindlessly scrolling Instagram right now? How about throwing us a follow at the commercial break and also at TCB Podcast on TikTok? Check out our website, tBpodcast.com, to find absolutely everything you could ever want to know about us. And if you simply can't stay away, call us and leave us a voice mail at 626-ask-TCB3. Or you can text us at 855-TCB-8383.

While you're contemplating divulging your life dramas to us, have a listen to our sponsors. You know you love me, exo, exo, gossip girl. Hey everybody, want to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by Factor? Okay, do you want to know what the single biggest challenge for me as a single person was? Shopping for, prepping, and cooking nutritious meals. Do you want to know what the biggest challenge for me as a human with 25 to 60 family members living in my house? Shopping for prepping and cooking a nutritious meal.

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a cleanse everyone's in a while? Yeah, I think so. But I'm talking like an alcohol cleanse. I'm talking like a cleanse cleanse. Like, I don't know. Like a fast, you know, like a fast or a food cleanse, or only lemon juice, or whatever the fuck people are doing these days. I mean, I don't know.

You don't do it, no. But I try and add those in, you know, every once in a while. We just got a new juicer, I'm excited about. Okay, well let me tell you, it's all bullshit, so don't do it. I have been doing a deep dive, and I don't wanna do videos on this, but I just wanna talk about it for a second. I've been doing a deep dive, and I don't wanna do videos on this, but I just wanna talk about it for a second.

I've been doing a deep dive on vitamin supplements because I take about 160 of them at night, and I don't feel any better or any worse about it. And then I've had friends, especially one friend, who, every year, they do an intense cleanse. Like, we're talking 20-day cleanse, only drinking prune juice or whatever the hell the new thing is, right?

Yeah. So they only do this cleanse because they think for some reason it's going to clean out their body, make their blood more pure. I'm not even sure what the end goal is. Maybe it's really about self-control. Maybe at the end of the day it's can I do it? It's a goal, they're trying to set.

That's for a mental. That I get. But for any kind of physical purposes, I've always felt it does more damage than it possibly could good because how is drinking prune juice for 20 fucking days straight doing anything except lighting your poop slide through you? Yeah, you know, you have to have other nutrients. There's just what's in the prune juice.

Oh yeah, that's something. Or the lemon juice or the whatever. So I am guilty of this too because I I think these two've gotta go hand in hand, is these cleanses and then taking supplements to somehow replace something that's missing in your average diet. The only thing that's missing in my average diet, I think is actual healthy food,

but if I had the healthy food, if I could just capture that healthy food part, there is no supplement that has ever been shown, not the kind you buy at the store, that has at most supplements that have been shown to do any kind of good for you. They may not do damage, but they don't do any good for you. Yeah, I know. I listen to some love. Do you listen to that? I listen to something on the soil back out. So I've been right about this, not because I had some kind of intellectual, you know, know-how or understanding of what goes on.

What I did think was, wow, this seems kind of ridiculous. Why would you do a cleanse like this? And how could it possibly be doing any good for your body when you're not actually getting nutrients in your fucking body? How is that possible? And I've read multiple articles over the last couple of months that say that I was right.

See, Chrissy, this is twice in the podcast history where I have been right. I was right about NFTs and I'm right about cleansing. Cleansing only serves to make you feel better mentally. It does not serve any kind of physical purpose. It's so many scientists and doctors are saying this. So I got this guy on Facebook, and he's constantly on Instagram. He's constantly talking about his next cleanse, his next juice fast.

He's gonna, you know, he's gonna supercharge his adro medeiros, because he's got some super cleanse that he's now tapped into from the ancient Incas and Mayan ruins, and he got the tablet and they sent it from high. You know, God told him this and whatever. And I'm like, you are a fucking moron. What are you doing to your body? You're killing yourself. You're just going on endless cleanses for no reason.

Why don't you just eat, just eat like a normal human being and everything will turn all right. I got news for you. Our number is gonna be up no matter fucking what, right? At some point the number is up. Doing Jews cleanses ain't gonna add like years onto your life and why would you want it to? I got news for you. Our number's gonna be up no matter fucking what, right? At some point the number is up. Doing juice cleanses and gonna add like years onto your life and why would you want it to?

Come on! Who really wants to live past 90? Anybody? These juice cleanses and then my supplement intake is ridiculous and it makes nonsense whatsoever. It just makes me feel better in my brain. It doesn't actually do anything for me. So I have committed in the year of 2024

to reduce my intake of supplements because they are really not doing anything for me. I, however, will still take some of them because they make me feel better about myself. I can't like go to the notion. So the whole point is, no matter how much science I read about this, I'm still convinced that some of it is doing good for me.

I take like, what, what supplements do you take? What are you taking? What's going on over there in your bathroom? I know mega. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Like a fish oil stuff. Oh, that was a fish oil. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Makes me feel so good about myself. It's supposed to be good for me. It makes me feel good about my cholesterol. And then I take a multivitamin, that's it. Oh, yeah, those multivitamins. Man, that pretty packaging makes me feel good. I'm. And then I take a multivitamin, that's it. Yeah, those multivitamins, man, that pretty packaging makes me feel good. I'm going to be running.

Just in case. I'm going to centrum silver next year. To get some missing, something. Yeah, you never know. You could be low on hydrocord, whatever the fuck they say. But like I said, we got the juicer, and I am going to start. I'm not going to do the juice cleansing,

but I'm going to incorporate doing some juice, like maybe have a good mix of some juices for breakfast or something or with breakfast. I get that. Yeah. Totally understand that, because that's part of eating better. It's getting your vegetables and your fruit.

And I got the one that has the pulp, where it has more pulp that you can add. It helps with fiber. Oh, it's a pulp-y kind of thing. You like orange juice with pulp? You're a pulp, Karna, girl. Well, it's just better for you, I think. Oh.

Oh. I've always said more pulp and more. I don't even want to say it. I don't want to say it. Yeah, I like some pulp. I do like some pulp too. Actually, I don't get the point of no pulp. Yeah.

Like, if you're going to have orange juice, like real orange juice, have some orange juice. Like chew, I like to chew on my juices. That's what I like. I like when my juices have a little crunch to them. You know that? This bomb of grinded juice is delicious with the seeds. I'll let it.

I take the cucumber, which is a kind of like a fish oil. It's like heart healthy, you know, bubble blah. I take, what else do I take? I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take,

take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, I take, take prostate against growth, which in my age, and in my advanced age, you got to worry about. I mean, I think I should have probably been taking it since I was 20 if I really wanted to do any help,

but now I just feel like I'm doing something. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, there's no proof that it does anything, but I'd like to spend $40 on solpum, that I can eat seven of them a day. And then I take this thing for my joints. I take, what is that stuff that they use the horse nails for? Not collagen.

Collagen, so I take collagen. I do the collagen. I like the scoop of collagen. Yeah, like when horses die on my behalf and they shave their, do you know that? Did you know that? It's like cow bones and horse nails. Yeah, what do I think about it? Yeah,, I'm trying to find the no horse,

like they have no horse collagen out there. And I just think about that poor horse. Like, This is a weird guy from the factory just shaving his nails off. I'm putting it into my vitamins. I'm gonna go home and check my where my collagen's coming from. You got a check, he's got to be no horse in. Yeah, oh, you do the powder. Oh, that's the worst. That's when that's straight from the farm.

Yeah, seriously, I'm surprised that's not crunchy too. My tea. I just think of Mr. Oh, you put it in your tea too. You're mixing you can't mix teas and supplements. Do you know that? Why? I don't know. It's just something I thought in my brain. Don't do that.

Elves it dissolve. Oh, it does? Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't want to chew on that nail powder either. I think of Mr. Edible. So, what else do I take? Yeah, I'm up there. I'm taking, there's some other shit that I take.

You know, I take so many of them at night. It's a, it takes me a half an hour to get through that pill routine I swear. So last night, so last night I cut out one of the, I cut out one of the vitamins. Yeah, it was like the Flintstone vitamin or ever. The thing that I was taking that I knew that it wasn't making me, but I still take that multivitamin, even though that's like the worst offender of them all. They're the most expensive and they do nothing

and they say that in some cases, like an overdose of vitamin E or whatever, like having too much vitamin E is actually negative for you. So that's the one I should find out. It's been ingrained in our heads, you know? I know, I know. Well, and I guess dating back to the times when it was first invented, there was a need for it, I know I know well, and I guess dating back to the times when it was first invented there was a need for it

You know there was the What was it when you have an a vitamin C? Yeah the Egyptians they were like Well, I'm vitamin C Like when the people from the the ships were coming over and they were getting they were dying people in the ship. I don't know if we want to go there people in the ships. Maybe like the Mayflower. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, they were dying because they were downstairs. Not getting any sunlight. Yeah. It was the vitamin C. Oh, vitamin C. It's a lack of vitamins. And so how do you think they first came upon vitamin C? That same thing

that you were listening to explain the whole thing. What? I was listening to anything. I read it. Okay. I'll send this to you. Oh, so they said then they found that a vitamin C supplement could have been causing the illness. And so then they started having oranges. What do you think? Like a Columbus landed and they said run up some blood work. Make sure that Columbus is okay. I've got how it happened. That's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah.

I can see how this all goes down in my head. You know, it's whatever, the pilgrim times. And some guys shaving off some horse nails, right? And he's like, God damn it, I don't want to be here for the rest of my life shaving horse nails. Maybe I sell this to people who are in vacation and feel better about that. Some of the stuff has been around for a whole family. Yeah, like, hey, if that horse can run,

you know, 10 miles per hour for an hour and a half because his joints are nice and healthy, whatever's coming out of that horse, we gotta get that into you, right? And then they start shaving their nails and they're like, listen, this is good as anything. I don't wanna kill the horse because they're very expensive. But if you just wanna take some of this nail powder

and throw it down your goal, I'm sure you're going to feel better. And then... Well, our steroids, the same thing as supplements. No, okay. Because I've seen that change people dramatically. Oh, yeah. I've... One of my friends got on testosterone.

Uh-huh. And he swears by it, right? He's like, Bro, you got to check testosterone. And I'm like, I'm not going to take testosterone. His voice is lowered like six octaves. He's got hair coming out of his eyeballs. He's like, he is physically changed.

But I gotta say, he's older than I am. And I do have to say this, guy looks good. He's looking good, right? He's looking like that guy at the gym yesterday. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He looks good for his age,

but he does have hair in weird places, and he looks a little red all the time. You know what I'm saying? Not tanning bed red, but red like he's angry. And anytime he talks now, he's like veins stick out of his neck. He's like, you're gonna try this. Like Frank V.

Yes, kind of. Gullgeon, drink those out. And steroids are so healthy for you. Steroids are so healthy for you. When your body's not producing it, just make fake ones and put it in there. Ah! I hear you, bro, but I'm a little concerned about the side effects of long-term testosterone use.

Because if I know one thing, first of all, steroids are not a supplement. That directly affects your body. That's an anabolicabolic like, you know, glomming onto your blood cells or some portion. It's a hormone. Is essentially what it is. Testosterone is a hormone. Well, no, what?

I have to stop. I'm talking about like the steroids. That's what it is. From the 80s, like when people- Anabolic steroids is like- is like the ones that are banned It's testosterone and or estrogen right it helps That's all it is. That's all it is. I mean, that's not all it is. There's a lot of junk in there I mean, I don't know. I'm not even take steroids in the 80s. I was a kid. I was a take it steroids in the 80s

But I do know that it's supposed to replicate some hormone in your body that helps with healing growth and healing is really what it does. That's what, you know, that was, who was that guy? The guy with the Bought One Ball that did those bike races. Lance Armstrong. He was doing like blood transfusions. What it was doing is it was replacing the, it was replacing cells quicker than your body could make them so that you had energy drive and muscle tone

to get to the next step, which was helping him greatly because of course you can't take an anabolic steroid, you're being tested all the time. But by having your blood transfused, you get around it. The lame stuff, I know, the lame stuff, I would. This just take her multi-fi to my house. Yeah, seriously, I don't feel so bad about my collagen because I look at my friend, there's like, I was just taking our multi-fighted. Yeah, seriously. Like, I don't feel so bad about my collagen because I look at my friend, there's like, you know,

48 years older, whatever he looks like. He looks like a 58 year old man who's really in shape and really angry all the time. And his eyes started to bulge too. So now I'm a little concerned from a brother. But what am I gonna say to him? Because, you know, he feels good, he feels good. Yeah.

He's not gonna have any balls or, you know, penis length left when he gets done with it, but that's okay. You know, I thought if I take it... Everybody's on their own journey. Usually only a reason I would take testosterone is if I had a deficiency or B, if it's somehow made me a better lover, but I think there's just... You need to get a red room.

I think there's just a point of no return where you just have to agree with yourself that you are just not good at that part of your life and hope and pray that your wife finds a pool boy that does the job for you. I'm sorry, I gotta say. You weren't here when I talked about how I got a sex toy for my vasectomy.

You weren't here, Tina was here. But remind me to tell you the follow-up to that story. We won't do it today but remind me to tell you the follow up to that story. We won't do it today. remind me to tell you the follow up to that story. Maybe next episode we'll talk about it. It's because... It didn't turn out the way you thought. It didn't turn out at all.

Oh, okay. Nothing came out. Let's put it that way. Not because I was broken, but because I'm sure the sex toy is broken. It's got to be somebody else's fault. The reason you didn't have an orgasm is because of you. I mean if you can't come in three seconds then what am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do? I can't do all this work for nothing. Okay, second break and then

I'm gonna I'm gonna piggy front off this conversation around supplements and the things that we need in our body. I'm gonna piggy front it. And we are gonna go into one of the more disturbing trends that I have ever seen. I hope you just didn't have much kids. Yeah, if you had, hold on your breakfast for just a few more minutes. And if you've had much, yeah, you might have a wait a couple of hours on your juice.

That's right. If you're on your juice cleanse, get ready for your juice to come out the wrong end. Because this is disturbing. We'll talk about it after the break. Ugh, finally, I feel like I was waiting for effort for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content, and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at tcbpodcast.

Wanted to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626, ask TCB3 and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 855-TCB-8383 and boy do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show. Okay, you ready? I'm ready, I think. I don't even know if I'm right. I have not watched this video.

I was simply sitting here in the studio last night doing some work and all of a sudden Astro and Gustavo come in the door and they're like, you have to look at this. This is content for the show. And I'm like, okay. And then they said the word poop and I'm like, I'm out. I'm out.

I'm out. I can't take poop, I cannot do poop. There's nothing about poop that I'm interested in. However, I think this is too newsworthy to pass up on. Okay. Now I've told you on this show that I have had high colonics before, I had a high colonic, and it really did clean me the fuck out, right?

It was a very interesting experience. Actually, maybe I haven't told this story in the show. I'll tell this. I've always wanted to maybe try one, but I've never done it. I'll tell you what, it was a very interesting experience. Actually, maybe I haven't told this story on the show. I'll tell them. I always wanted to maybe try one, but I've never done it. I'll tell you what. It was a very interesting experience. I've seen it done. I've seen it done.

You've seen it done. Well, I mean on TV when my reality shows, they go get them in forever. It's disgusting to think about, and it's really hard to imagine someone sticking a pipe up your ass and then just rinsing you out. But I do have to say, it didn't hurt. I mean, once I got the tube in, it didn't hurt a little bit. I haven't stuck too many things in my ass,

so when I did get something stuck in my ass, it took a minute to get comfortable. Sure. Luckily there was lots of lube. I'm telling you, if every time this happens to me, every fucking time, it's like how I can't get on a plane without two fucking Bob and Tom sitting next to me. I never get an attractive woman

or a regular human being talking to me. I always get some, yeah, not a nidnik from somewhere. Anytime that I go into a medical facility where my asshole or my balls are going to be exposed, fucking, you know, nurse, do a leap of walks in. I'll live the upon-toms there doing my chai calonic. So when I walk into the facility, it's nice looks like a spa and then you walk and then you take you back to a room That's very nice looks like a massage room, right?

It's dark lid and they have the candles and soft music playing but then they have this machine and it's got two Circles inside the machine like clear circles imagine like you go to your favorite yogurt place Like do you do DIY yogurt where you have to pull the little handle. Like, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do

you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, So one goes in and one goes out right? It's like a whole system they have going on there. They push it in and they pull it out. They change directions basically. It's this big, this big button they press. And so I go in there and the lady at the reception, who's just very nice, yeah lady. Okay, Mr. Greenkitsch, you disrobe from the, wait, just do it on your own or do you do it?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Disrobe from the waist down. No, not, I mean, I didn't, not perform it on yourself. I mean, did you do it? Oh, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I brought it up and then I didn't really think we were gonna go do it and then he was like a hundred percent in He went hard. He was like no, we're going. We're going this Saturday. I'm making an appointment We went out to the middle of Bumble fuck Georgia and I was uncomfortable with how far we had to drive to get a high Philanic like if you have to drive this far could we live in Atlanta? It's like this you know 11th largest city in the country It's not like we live in some, you know tiny little And so, but we had to drive hours to get to this place. Where'd we go?

We were driving for like two hours in the morning and I had a cup of coffee and I already felt like I had to poop and then I walk in and then she tells me to disrobe and I get my, I got my hairy ass hanging everywhere. You know, my hairy flat ass hanging everywhere. And then she's like, and she's like, okay, and the technician will be in a minute.

And I'm like, okay, I'm thinking like some dudes gonna come in, right? You know, some like orderly or something. You know, some medical professionals gonna come in. I'm like, okay, I'm thinking like some dude's gonna come in, right? You know, some like orderly or something. You know, some medical professionals gonna come in. Yeah, I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm thinking like, you know, okay. Dude to dude, hairy asshole to hairy asshole. We're gonna talk about it, right?

You know, I'm just gonna soak you in your ass and I'm cleaning out. All right, bro, cool. Fourth and long, go for touchdown Ohio State, right right right, Russus Mumbai. Like figuring him, you know, it's gonna be a, like, there's gonna be somebody there to comfort me. What walks in is a, in 23 year old Olivia Pantan book, like a beautiful woman, and she's like, hi, I'm Cindy, I'm gonna be here

technician today. And immediately I'm like, God damn, what is always happened to me. Now I'm never gonna get laid again, because the only thing that a beautiful women see is my, you know, black and blue balls after my bisectomy. My hairy asshole, or, you know, my limp dick is the shrunk because it's cold in the office. So she rolls me over or she does me to roll over. She grabs the gown, she throws it up and she's like, okay, you've never had something inserted into your anus and I'm like, no, no, I've never had something inserted into my anus and she's like, okay We're gonna use the small tube and I'm like, yeah, you get small tiny little things Small as you get give a straw

He's the smallest so she fires up the machine it starts making this weird And I'm like, oh my God, that's loud. Geez. I'm like, God's gonna come out. Like I'm now I'm afraid that there's too much suction. So I'm like talking to her like a little child, right? I'm like, is that too much suction? And she's like, we haven't even gotten started yet.

And I'm like, I know, but it sounds like a lot of suction. And she's like, we do this all the time. Trust me, you're gonna be fine. She's like, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna insert this into your anus, push water in, and then out's gonna come the dirt, you know, all that gunk, all that build up from all that time. And I'm like, what's gonna come out is baby laxative, Colombian cocaine, Bud Light, and tar from all the cigarettes I'm smoking.

That's all, that's it. And pizza from Chrissy Hothley. Domino's pizza from last night from Chrissy Hothley. Domino's pizza from last night from Chrissy Hothley. So she sticks that thing in my, it took her like, you know, good couple seconds to get that thing in there, because I just, I was clinging, I didn't want anything in my butt, you know.

But finally, it got up there and I got comfortable. I found a position where it was okay. And she's like, okay, here we go. And you can feel it going in and going in and going out, going in and going out, and going a little further in each time she did it. It was warm, it didn't feel like anything, but all the sudden I could feel my gut just kind of like,

yeah. Like, I don't know, it did feel like I was getting cleaned out a little bit. What I did notice when I walked in was that there's another door inside of this room. And so as she's doing the clog, this takes about 15, 20 minutes for her to do the whole thing, right? We're talking because that's the only way that I can keep my composure here is by trying

to pretend like I'm normally. I've worked here long. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm such a moron. I actually don't get this one every guy that comes in. So you've been here long? What are you doing next Tuesday night? I drink a lot of Bud Light and do cocaine occasionally. Would you like to join me?

You got to drive yourself. It's way too far for me to pick you up. And I don't have a driver's license, so that there's that. So she's doing this and she explains to me. She goes, okay, well, this is the first part of the procedure. And I'm like, there's two parts and she's like, though, the next part is that you're going to go to the, you're going to use the restroom, which is right here, this door. And then she walks over, she opens it up.

And she goes, I'm gonna keep the door open because when I take this out, I'm gonna leave the room and you're going to have to shuffle over to that door as fast as possible. She's like, because you will not be able to hold that liquid in like that. And she goes, and there's always gonna be liquid. I can't like suck it all out.

That's not, you can't do that, right? And I was like, oh shit, like literally, oh shit. Kristen Joy, holy. As soon as she took, I mean, she like sprinted out the door. She was like, and then she sprints out the door, and I turn over and I was like, oh, and I run, run, run, run, run, 15 steps to the little bathroom. And as soon as I start to sit down, it was like, oh, and I run, run, run, run, 15 steps to the little bathroom. And as soon as I start to sit down,

it's like, it just came out. It was like, and it came out for a day. I was on that toilet forever. I didn't know when it was gonna end. The whole procedure took an hour because 40 of it was me trying to get the rest of it out. And it wasn't anything. It was just water.

It was just water it was just water Chrissy Not not only I mean think out they had like plenty of white wipes and extra napkins and all this other stuff If I clean myself up, I definitely need a shower. I'm feeling disgusting and gross now But when I stand up I feel so much better my gut felt so much better nice I was like wow this really worked. I've never done it again since. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Now I just take supplements. Yeah. I just take smooth move to you. It works the same. Okay. That's not the point here. Seven minutes in.

Here's the point. The point is that people are using other people's poop to supplement what they think is the right bacteria for their gut. Okay, I don't want to say anything else We're gonna let this be explained in a short documentary that we're about to watch. Oh god now. Thank God You're listening. We're gonna have to watch it here, but thank God you're listening Are you ready for this? I don't know I don't know which episode of the commercial break is gonna be stranger, but this has got to be at the top of them. Okay. I was trolling on the internet.

As you do. As I do. Okay, here we go. Or as Astrid and Gustavo do. As Astrid and Gustavo do. Thanks Astrid and Gustavo. If we lose all our listeners, I'm blaming them. They're not gonna be able to blame me for this one.

All right, here we go. So what we need to do is we first get your little blender thingy, open up the poo. Oh! Oh! I can't get prudig. Oh. And I don't even know how much to put in.

I just kind of guesstimate. Okay, so let me explain what's going on here. Well, there's not a picture of poop on the screen. There is a lady who is taking a, like, a water bottle that you would see like a shaker, water bottle, right? And she is putting human feces inside of that water bottle and pouring a liquid on top of it. It looks like it's doing this in her kitchen.

Oh, yeah. I hope she invites me over for dinner real soon. It's like people sometimes when they have cats. And I'm like, don't, don't please don't go on the counter. Please don't go on the counter. Please, hide. Otherwise, she might literally hit the fan. She is making a milkshake out of it. She puts some kind of liquid in there. Yeah, I can't imagine a liquid takes care of the poop. Like does a deco-

What you're watching is the preparation of a homemade, fecal microbiota transplant, or, as it's known, FMT. Yes, that's a poo transplant, and it might seem gross, but it's currently saving lives and potentially treating the untreatable. How is this saving lives? I'd like to, I'm interested. Now I'm interested. Okay, tell me how this is saving lives. However, no matter how bad I am on my dustbed, Chrissy, do not allow them to do a poop transplant for me.

Thank you so much. Please. Hi, Kalonic, I'll accept that. Poop transplant, if we're have to drink a poop shake. Because this lady just made a poop shake, guys. A poop shake. She didn't even, it's not like they took the bacteria and some, you know, chemically, scientifically generated something.

This is actual poop shake. One day, there'll be a koala here. What have you awesome feel about? My name's Alex. I'm an ecologist. My name's Jane, and I'm not any kind ofologist because I have bipolar disorder and I've had it for the last 20 years in my life. My experience of bipolar has been this intense rollercoaster ride of

debilitating depression for weeks and months on end when I can hardly even get out of bed to extravagant highs where I feel like I'm God. The first time she got manic, I had no idea what was going on. That was really traumatic. I had to have the person who you love. I didn't realize the poop shake video was gonna get so serious so quickly. If these people tell me that poop can make you not bipolar, I'm gonna be doing a lot more research on this.

I'm gonna give it to Blue. No, exactly. It's gonna happen to her? I always thought bipolar disorder was caused by trauma. I would sit there and I'd be like, OK, I love myself, I love my friends, I love my life, I love my husband. Why do I want to die?

After exhausting all-standard treatment, Jane looked for alternative options. In desperation, she tried FMT. There was a study and basically, the hypothesis at the end of the My Study was they could possibly be a link between mental illness and gytochology. Whoa. Do you believe this? Well, the gut, they're learning more and more about all of the gut, microbes and biomes

and how that does affect your brain. So that part, but I don't know if you have to eat. I'm like, he said there's like a more scientific way to do this. Yes, I think so. Oh, this is just so disturbing to me. But, if it's saving lives, then you're okay. Enough of me. What do we need?

Poo. Who's got poo, Alex? Sorry, I gave it a go. Who's got poo? Alex. So I gave it a go. Who's got poo? You don't have poo. You have to poo. Who's got poo. Her poo's not working. Yeah, oh gosh true.

I felt like I had nothing to lose except a couple of seconds of dignity every time we do it. Basically you've separated the runny stuff from the solids and it's ready to be put in the animal bottle. So here we go. Remember the truth? Don't get pooey hands. Oh, so they're everybody. Oh, so they're

inserting it into the anus. Oh, okay. So you can stop when I asked her, you need to watch the whole video too, because they ran in here and told me people were drinking poop shakes and I was like, can't be true. It's no way. Maybe I needed to do more research and actually watch the video before we put it on. But I can only stomach it once, honestly, I can't do it. And FMT is you make a sick person well again by transplanting good bugs into their gut. But using it to treat bipolar-like Jane is controversial to say the least.

I'm not willing to wait 20 years for peer-reviewed signs. I've already lost 20 years of my life. To this horrible... Is it working for her now? I have to assume that if you have a video crew from Vice-Echo Front Door, or something's going right, or terribly wrong. One of the two.

Illness. But aren't you worried about other illnesses that come from poop? Right. Like, this Listeria and Dysentarian. That's this waste. Yes, it's not the bot. I mean, I understand like the gut biome and all that other stuff,

but there's gotta be some scientists out there who can replicate that gut biome. There is. Oh. It's Rob me of everything. I'm holding a poo enema, and the next stage we would not film on national television. This goes in the bum.

You know, when you enter a relationship with anybody, there's kind of like expectation of certain body fluids that you share, but this sheet is next level. Fair enough, she seems pretty clear-headed about this actually. Yeah. Yeah. I'm Nick Talley, I'm a gastroenterologist, and my area of study is what's called neuro-gastroenterology. Ah, that's just made up. All these scientists making a word for themselves. So I studied a link between the gut and the brain. gastroenterology. That's just made up. All these scientists making a word for themselves.

So I studied a link between the gut and the brain. It's possible FNT might work for some people with mental illness, but it's too early to be sure. I think that's the summary. Animal models suggest it may have a role in some cases. In humans, not much information. The problem, well yeah, because how do you convince people

to think other people's poo and put it up your ass? I mean, that seems insane to me. But if she finds relief from it, like if there's actual relief from it, how can you argue it, right? Yeah, I guess the case worked. It's more about who your donor is, needs to be properly screened, for infectious

diseases. I know people are trying this at home, but I wouldn't recommend it at this time. How the fuck know? No, you don't. By the way, I don't imagine our commercial break listeners are dumb enough to do this on their own, but don't do this on your own, please. While people across the country are trying fecal transplants for various conditions, there's only one it's medically proven to treat.

Sanding wood? I know why are there shawls. Table being made. Table being sanded. I'm Charlotte and I'm a single mother. In 2015, I had to see diff for six months, so I lost in that time. I lost about 15 kilos. And I just got really weak, I couldn't do much, I couldn't work.

My son pretty much had to fend for himself, cook his own meals and get himself off to school. Yeah, I felt very fatigued and debilitated most of the time. Seediff is a bacterial infection, often caused by overuse of antibiotics. For severe or recurrent cases of seediff, the standard treatment is more antibiotics, but they only work in 26% of cases. FMT on the other- Yeah, that's not kind of odds I like. So if someone said you have seediff and you need to shoot poo up your ass, maybe, we'll

talk about it. And it has a six- Can I get Olivia Pantan to do it? Thank you. Right, it's rate of 86%. And the results are almost immediate. The more I read about FMT, the more it made sense. It was just like putting compost on a garden.

This still isn't? No, it's not like putting compost on a garden garden garden garden. But I guess you have to tell yourself something in order to get through that kind of treatment. It's been a handful of clinics in Australia willing to perform an FMT and even fewer in the public system. It was horrendously expensive, like, between five and ten thousand dollars to do it.

And so I just thought, okay, I've got to try and find a donor locally. It was going to help me. Oh no! Hey, say, mate, you very, very much you've been remodeling around your toilet over there. Grab some of your shit, you look really sexy and I just need a doughnut. Dad, don't worry about commuting to good with diseases, dysentery and listen to all that and all that stuff. All I need is for you to shit in my cup.

I'm going to put it on Maserio! Do this. Charlotte's home FMT didn't work. She doesn't know why, but she couldn't wait to find out. One of the problems with fecal transplants is we actually don't know how to give them optimally. It's an ethic. Oh, sounds great.

I'm like we should be diving at first and then. Yeah. We have no idea how to do it. Question, you know, when do you start to offer a choice? Well, he's not a proponent of it. No, well, he's saying there needs to be much more research. But any level-headed doctor is going to say the same thing because that's the system that has been made by, you know,

science in order to protect people against poo transplant problem. Well, he didn't even work for that other woman. No. That's embarrassing. Yeah, that's kind of shitty. You're shit didn't work. for that other woman, that's embarrassing. Yeah, that's kind of shitty. You shit didn't work. You hear poop sucks.

When you don't have absolute evidence that it really benefits and I think we're struggling with that now for FMT. Charlotte decided she had no choice but to fork out the huge sum and have FMT performed in a clinic. When I woke up from the anesthetical after I had the colonoscopy, I felt like Wonder Woman. I came out of the clinic and everything looked different. The colors looked different. Everything, I just felt quite amazing.

I just love to see it more accessible for everybody that needs it, not just for C-Diff, that everybody that wants to do it. Wow, really? So you just do it once? I guess you do it once, and then your body kind of creates, like, I don't know. You know, the body is a fucking and amazing thing. It really is.

Like a mystery. A lot of parts of it are mysterious. Listen, I've been trying to figure out the vagina for four years. Let's see. I, the one thing, one thing convinced me that the body is simply the most amazing thing that's ever been created. The human body is when the doctor, after our first child, came in the lactation doctor, came in, or the lactation consultant came in and explained to me with the doctor standing

there behind her, explained to me in Astrid that the second that the child's mouth hits a nipple, the nipple identifies what kind of nutrients the infant needs and starts making those inside of the breast instantaneously to provide the child the right nutrients that that specific child needs like a fingerprint. The nipple did that. The nipple. Which my nipple did anything. Just sits there and stares at me.

Ugly fucker. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

Since the FMT treatment, I've seen huge changes in Jane. I've been absolutely positive. Now she's got a career in guitar. That's right, she's a Sid Barrett. She's done it like six times, and practically all of my bipolar symptoms have gone on except for one. And that's insomnia. I'm conquered that year.

Without medical data, it's hard to know how Jane's transplant worked, or even if it was placebo. She says she doesn't care. I just hope the science catches up without... We're pooing really. I hope the science doesn't catch up. Actually, you know what? If it worked for her, God bless.

Yeah. If you could treat bipolar schizophrenia, what an anxiety disorder, whatever it is, just by eating someone shit, then everyone else in the world except for me is going to be cured of all those things. I just can't do it. I can't do it with poop. I'll just take my probiotic and have this. They don't work anyway.

We're going to see Chris and I are still on the supplement train. Even though we're clear on it doesn't work, it's cool. We'll still take them. I don't mind spending that $180 a month. No. What do I need that for? $180, I make that in six months here on the commercial break. I got money to toss. Got money to burn.

It's for play money. Oh, Lordy Lordy, don't do it. Lordy Lordy, look who's 40. All right well it's been another shitty episode of the course. We just couldn't be more jazzed about our listeners. Hey skip I got your shout out there so don't tell me don't say I never did anything for you. I don't know why hillbilly horror stories needs a shout, but they got one so there you go They talked about us. We talked about them. Nice. That's fair. I guess of course Okay, go to tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go to find out more information about

Chrissy and I you can watch all of the video you can listen to all of the audio It's right there at one location tcbpodcast.com or subscribe on the podcast player you like the most we'd prefer that be Apple spotably prefer to be one where we get credit for it But you know whatever you want to do you want to do we're not picky here. We'll take any listener So, uh, please leave us a review and subscribe and a rating on your favorite podcast player It's a small thing you can do for us. We certainly would appreciate it Also, you could get your free piggy fronting sticker wait until you podcast player. It's a small thing you can do for us. We certainly would appreciate it. Also, you can get your free Piggy Fronting Sticker

waiting until you see these. It's crazy what Astrid has done with these stickers. And I'm not happy about it, but we'll send them out anyway. They're pretty funny. They're pretty funny. At my expense, but they're pretty funny. There you go. The contact us button on the website

has a little drop down menu. And you can say, I want my free sticker Send us your address. We'll send away the sticker for you just in a short period of time YouTube.com slash the commercial break You can go there if you want to watch all the videos 626 STCB the number three that's 1626 STCB the number three questions comments concerns content ideas We're taking them all right there at the commercial commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok. Okay, Chrissy, that's definitely all I can do today.

But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say we will say and we must say goodbye. Good bye.バイバーイ! I'm going to go tellin' to see this world! you