The Commercial Break - Mr. 5:30!

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

EP791: Bryan has been trolling the internet (and avoiding his children!). What he uncovers shakes us to our core. "FIIIVE THIRTY!!" made famous by his interaction with an unnamed man at the retirement community, may have a doppelgänger. At least he has a voice twin. Bryan and Krissy review Mr. 5:30. A sales consultant for.....someone. TCBit: Crabapple is being torn apart by the ongoing feud between Tina (owner of TT&T) and Diane (owner of Duck Inn)! Watch EP #791 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CREDITS: Hosts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bryan Green⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Krissy Hoadley⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits & TCB Tunes: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green. Rights Reserved To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Exclusively on FanDuel Casino. Where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. And thank you for joining us here at WSHIT. Major breaking news today in the Crabapple Township as the escalating war between Tina of Tina Tan and Tweed's and Diane of the Diane Duck Inn has reached a fevered pitch

as now Tina and her toothless wife Wanda have laid bare accusations against Diana and Duck Inn and their severely overcooked chicken fingers. Many in the Crabapple Township have been torn asunder by these accusations, family member against family member, neighbor against neighbor, Tina Tannen Tweez or Duck Inn. Quite frankly it's hard for this reporter to stay impartial. However, on social media, just today, Tina and her wife Wanda releasing the video moments after receiving un-chewable chicken fingers. This video is as emotional as it gets. If you have children in the room, I highly suggest they leave now. Let's listen now to that video of these accusations

that are currently tearing the township apart. We ask them for chicken strips that my wife can chew that are not hard. Please do not cook them too long. What do they do? They cook them too long. And now she can't eat them. I have hats and everything else. Let me finish this first.

We ordered freaking french fries with cheese sauce on them. Didn't get that. I ordered chicken wings. We ordered frickin' french fries with cheese sauce on them. Didn't get that. I ordered chicken wings with a side of fries with cheese on it. Didn't get it. My wife calls up there to tell them what was wrong. She was calm. She was, she's like, hey, I just left there

and my chicken fingers are cooked too long, can you... And the lady stops her. Well if you weren't such a fat fucking bitch, and she called her a cunt and everything else, all because my wife was actually being nice and was like, you please fix it well she called her everything under the Sun and instead of my wife fighting back she's sitting here fucking crying I was the one that flipped out on him and we're calling the Better Business Bureau and let me tell you do not go to the ducking cuz obviously they need better management

than that bitch behind the bar. No was it Diane? Well let me tell you Diane I'm coming for you. Diana from Diana's Duck Inn then responded by calling Tina's wife Wanda the toothless wonder. Our world as we know it spinning in the opposite direction. We will of course be here in studio, live with any additional breaking news. But for now we must go to a commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break, I offer a 30 minute complimentary conversation.

I will not try to sell you anything. I will add massive value to your life and business. My calendar is in the description below. Please have my calendar and learn more. His face changes too. I know he starts yelling and then he's like. I wonder what that could be. I order, I offer a 30 minute complimentary podcast.

I will not try and sell you anything. I will laugh, I will add no value to your life whatsoever. You will have to listen to commercials. Get in my calendar. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Five thirty! Aw yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break starts now. 5.30! Aw yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.

Best of you, Chris here. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this, The Commercial Break. The only one you'll ever need. The only one you'll ever need. Not for everybody, but at least it's free.

You can get it from Fact, News, or Fiction news, or fiction, guaranteed in five minutes or less. For your money back, go to ccbpodcast.com to collect your winnings. I did it. Very good. I still remember it. It's like riding a bike. Once you get into it, you just never forget it. That of course is the season two and season three opening that left us with little to no listeners. Average listen time, 3%. I wanted to say a few things. We're just talking about my, one of my brothers is going to Europe on a little vacation. And of course he's having all kinds of travel drama

because the travel drama is high right now. All the thunderstorms and weird weather. I was just watching. My flight got canceled coming back from Memphis. Yeah, that's right. You were stuck in Memphis for an extra day. He got stuck. They canceled his flight.

He found another flight. He gets to Charles de Gaulle, which is in Paris, and Charles de Gaulle, a one and a half, two hour layover turns into like 25 hours or something. Enough time to go sightseeing in Paris. And it's not like the airport's, I mean, mean it's close but it's not right around the corner you and in Paris traffic can be terrible too so he's out there listen there's all kind of travel drama right now in the 4th of July weekend that just happened does

nobody any favors but the weather is wild I mean it's wild all throughout the country you know and even in. And even in Europe. And even in Europe. You're right about that. Yeah, no. Flooding and hail. Grease is on fire. One of the islands is on fire.

And they had like, I saw that there was like a tornado in Ireland or the UK. Like they don't have tornadoes over there. And there was a tornado. They don't have tornadoes. It's just not a thing that they're north enough that tornadoes don't happen. They don't have that kind of weather. But I saw that some they spotted the tornado. But then I saw in Vegas that a windstorm, a dust storm came by and it blew like 55 power poles down on one street. They all just went down in a row. Wow. And people on the internet are fucking stupid because they can't just accept that something

happened. It all has to be some mysterious global conspiracy, terrorism, aliens, Joe Biden is always the default reason, COVID, the vaccine, Kamala Harris, Beyonce took $10 million to push the telephone poles down. I mean, it's really quite crazy how crazy people are online. They're nuts. And with the chem trail, it's all being caused by the chem trails and the sunsets are no longer the same as they used to

be. They're now a different hue of red because of global elites flying their planes over Leonardo DiCaprio. Thank God that JD Vance is saving us from wind turbines and chemtrails. People are fucking loony too. A dust storm blowing at 90 to 100 miles per hour. That's a level, that's a hurricane cat one in Las Vegas where there is basically nothing to stop the wind or the dust. One of the poles goes down.

They yank all the other poles down that are already getting stressed by the wind. There's a lot of video of this windstorm that happened. There are tractor trailers that are blown over. There are porta potties that are like a mile away from where they originally were. It's pretty clear what happened, but no one can accept that on fact. Everyone has a different conspiracy theory, and I think you're all very sick and you need mental evaluation immediately if you believe these things. Why? Why does it all have to be a conspiracy? Why can't it just be the thing that happened? Why isn't it just the thing that happened? It was a windstorm.

When it rains here, I don't say it's because Joe Biden is seeding the clouds above my house to make my pool overflow and some grand global conspiracy to spread E. coli all across my yard. It rained! Now, how did the rain happen? Why is it raining so much? I don't know, it's a different story altogether. Maybe that has to do with something called global warming. But you know what?

God forbid me from accepting science as fact. I don't know, Chrissy. I just think people are really mentally challenged. There's a lot of people on this earth, and most of us are not well. And that remains my belief to this day. I agree. And if you don't accept my hypothesis, then you are welcome to turn off the commercial break. If you're one of these people that are conspiracy minded,

let me hand you a ladder down that rabbit hole you've gone down. And if you don't accept crawling out of it, well then that's at your own detriment. I just was reading somebody the other day said the moon is hollow and aliens put it there and they're watching us. Then I'm watching a pretty well-known NFL player, I'm not gonna name because I just think

he's also mentally challenged, talk about how the moon could not possibly emit its own light or couldn't reflect the light of the sun. That it's like a flashlight, it must be turning itself on and off. We went to the moon. We saw it for ourselves. I don't think. Well, that's a whole other conspiracy.

Even Joe Rogan changed his mind on that one. He was also a, it never happened. And now he's like, well, it probably happened. Yeah. Come on guys, let's get it together. That moon is hollow, really? Is it made of cheese too? Is there a man on the moon with cheese in his eyeball?

Come on, guys, get it together. It's, I mean, I don't know what it's made of and I don't know who put it there and I don't know why it's there because none of us know because we weren't there when it happened. But I'm pretty sure we would have figured out it's hollow and that there are aliens living in it and staring at it.

We've been staring at that moon for like 70 million years. I mean, come on. You don't think somebody would have figured it out by now. You can look in a telescope and see the moon for yourself. It's not that hard to figure out. It's not a light bulb turning itself on and off. That is the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my entire life. It's a light bulb turning itself on and off.

Who do you think we are? Jim Carrey in the movie, whatever that movie is? The Truman Show? The Truman Show. Yeah. Someone's just turning the lights on and off. You think the sun turns itself on and off too? Come on, get it together. And it seems stressful to me if you are believing all of these things. Yeah, you must really, really, really, it must be hard just to live a normal life if everything is a grand conspiracy or something else.

I understand you want answers and the mind abhors a vacuum and that living on your own and watching Freedom News by the MyPillow guy is 24 hours a day on a loop is really getting to you. But please, take a break, go outside, take a walk, don't concern yourself with all the things that could possibly be. Yeah, listen, a wise monk once said this. We need like a little music intro.

We do need a music intro, but I'm gonna make one. A wise monk once said, worrying about things that may or may not happen is anxiety, right? And stress is worrying about all, or fear is worrying about all the things that did happen. You only have today, you only have right now. Let's not concern ourselves

with whether the moon is turning itself on or off. Let's concern ourselves with being a good human being to those around us. That's the only thing that we can control. Just being a good human being, just trying to be nice to the next guy. Try not to be an asshole. And then you might say to yourself, Brian, but you're an asshole. And I say, yes, but I have a podcast. And that's what podcasts are made for, being an asshole. That's right. Thank God for podcasts. It gives us assholes a place to go. That's right. But speaking of travel drama, I got very caught up in a travel drama that happened to a young lady, I don't know,

a couple of weeks ago, or maybe, I don't know, maybe this was last week or something. Let me play the Instagram reel and I'll get you up to speed on what's going on, okay? Okay. Here we go Just got engaged, my fiance just got moved to coach. They bumped him because they wanted a flight attendant to, or not a flight attendant, they wanted someone, a part of the crew to sit in first class instead. I understand that the crew works really hard. However, we booked these seats ahead of time and this is not fair.

Well, this is not customer service. I'm sorry, it's just not customer service. Like this is ridiculous. What they're hiding. Okay, so- What they're hiding is a conspiracy. It's a conspiracy. Of course it is.

It's a conspiracy. It's Joe Biden again, taking everybody's first class seats and kicking them into coach. Must be Bill Gates. What they are, what this poor girl, and then there's lots of follow up information about this, but what happened to this poor girl is her and her husband, they booked this trip, or her fiance, they booked this trip, they just got engaged, they're going to celebrate, they booked this trip, they booked first class tickets, business class tickets on this United Airlines flight, and when they get onto the plane, the husband husband who happens to be in seat number whatever because the crew just decided

seat number whatever is now going to be reserved for part of the crew part of the staff part of the airline. My guess is could have been could have been an air marshal right last- minute air marshal problem or concern or needed an air marshal. And that happened to be the seat they chose. And the husband got put back in coach. Now there was some kind of recompense for this. It wasn't like they just put him back in coach and said,

sorry, shit out of luck. Nope, no money, no tiki, no tacky. There was some kind of reciprocation. Like they got a free ticket or whatever. Okay. Free upgrades on the next flight or whatever happened. But I agree with this young lady. Like I have to agree with this young lady. I bought it. I bought it ahead of time. I bought it so that I could sit next to my fiance in business class, which is not cheap. And we are celebrating something and I'd like to be with him. And this poor girl was brought to tears

because now she cannot sit next to him. There is no choice. There is no seat available in coach to sit next to him, even if she wanted to. And now she's stuck all alone next to a stranger that she doesn't know. And that's not the biggest part of the deal. The biggest part of the deal is, is that United Airlines felt that they could just do this. Now it's their plane.

They certainly have the right to do whatever. And the law allows it. If you can get bumped at any time for any reason, but this is happening to a lot of people. Yes, they are getting bumped from their flight. We're back to oversold. We're back to airlines paying thousands of dollars to get people out of their seats

or just bumping them all together. Even if you have a reserve ticket or switching seats or whatever it is. We're back to terrible customer service with most airlines. Now, luckily, the only airline that I choose to ever fly on my own for any reason, because there's a couple, but the one that I choose to fly on is Delta. Yeah, me too. And Delta, I have never ever had an issue with a Delta flight. I've had cancellations, I've had delays, I've had problems with aircraft, but I've never been bumped out of my seat and I've always gotten the seat that I had chosen.

At least I've always gotten that. I know that's not everybody's Delta experience. But United Airlines is one of the other premium carriers out there. And now I heard the United Airlines CEO recently give a talk where he said the discount airlines are terrible and they were terrible from the beginning and they're even worse now and they're gonna go out of business. And I agree with him

because they're not really discount airlines, but this is not a discount airline. This is United Airlines and you're flying business class. You should be entitled to that seat, even if it's not on that plane, you should be entitled to that seat. You should be entitled to some option to get together

in a business class seat on another flight that same day or in the same manner that you were going to be accustomed to in a short period of time. And even if that's another airline altogether, because that's just not fair. I mean, it doesn't matter what they're allowed to do. It's just not fair. It's not good customer service.

And I feel really bad for that girl. I really do. She seemed very upset that she was going to be alone during this flight. Is it the worst thing that ever happened? No. Can you make it through? Of course. Are you going to survive? No one's dying. It's just a seat change. But it's kind of shitty. I would feel bad about this too. I agree. I mean, I don't know what happened with that. I mean, and do we really know all of the things that surrounded it? We just know that he was asked to move, that he was told to move,

that they needed the seat for something and that he needed to move, but that it was someone crew related, United Airlines related. My suspicion is, and this is just a suspicion, is that this was an air marshal. And air marshals fly on a lot of flights. They don't tell you how many flights, but some people have estimated up to 70% of domestic flights

and maybe 90% of international flights, there are air marshals. There are tens of thousands of flights every day in and out of the United States, into and out of those. There are a lot of air marshals. And they're there to keep everybody safe and they don't announce themselves. They never will. No.

Unless something bad happens and then you'll see them. But they need to be there. However, kicking someone out of their seat to get an air marshal on there shouldn't be part of the program. Those seats should be just always reserved for an air marshal. And I thought that that's how it worked. There was always just one seat on the plane that we reserved for the Air Marshal. Well, I don't know why the Air Marshal had to have first.

Maybe they felt that that was the place he needed to be. Maybe there was a reason why he needed to be there. Exactly. Maybe there was a person he needed to sit near just in case. I don't know. But what a shitty thing to do, United Airlines. I'm glad that she got there and that like there's something happened for them. But at the same time, in that moment, that would feel terrible to me too.

Astrid and I have had to sit in different places on airplanes before. Me too. It's happened. I just had to do it coming back from Memphis because the flight was canceled and we were on standby. We were like, give us whatever seats you got.

Yeah. Hey, listen, in certain situations, you just gotta take what you can get. In certain situations, Astor doesn't even wanna sit next to me. So it's kind of like she chose that seat. Sometimes we go to the airport and I'm like, okay, what seat you got? And she's like 21A and I'm like, okay, I got 27B.

And she's like, oh, I don't know how that happened. Yep, but you got the kids, right? Yes, I do, they're all in 27. I don't know how that happened. Yep. But you got the kids, right? Yes, I do. They're all in 27. I don't know what happened. Airline mistake. As a matter of fact, that's happened the last six flights we've taken to Europe.

We don't fly business class, though. That's the only difference. You can't fly business class. I can't afford that. That's crazy. I've flown business class before, but only because I managed to grab an incredible discount. And I tell you, the first time that I ever went to go see

Astrid in Europe when she had moved to Switzerland and she was in Spain for the holidays. And so this was our first year together. We've been together like six or seven months. I show up to the airport, nighttime flight as they often are, over to Europe, taking Delta, and I get to the gate relatively early. I'm there like 30, 40 minutes before we even start boarding. So I'm sitting near the, I'm sitting right near the desk thing. Yeah.

Where? Those fucking kids, I swear to God. What's wrong? They took my megaphone. I wanted my megaphone. I did. They did. I see it, but I'm not going to go grab it. It's going to bore everybody. But you know what the good news is, Chrissy?

Oh, I see it now too. All the way across the room. Yeah, they took it. Those little rapscallions. Those little rapscallions. Rapscallions. Oh, no, I don't even have it on there. The rapscallions are all in trouble. All of them. Anyway, I'm sitting there, and I'm waiting to wait to board, and I'm in the back of the plane in coach. And all of a sudden the lady comes on in that terrible, awful little microphone that they're still using at the airport. I don't know why they can't just upgrade that system to something you can hear. But anyway, attention passengers, one you, first class seat, seven available for $100 upgrade. First class seat, seven available for $100 upgrade. And I was like, did she say upgrade available? And then a third time. I tell you, first class seat, seven available for $100 upgrade. First class seat, seven available for $100 upgrade.

First class seat, seven available for $100 upgrade. First class seat, seven available for $100 upgrade. And I'm like, let me go up there. And I go, did you say something about an upgrade available? And she goes, yep, we have like 10 first class seats, business class seats available, $100. And I was like, $100? Wow.

And she was like, and she goes $100. And I go, really, $100? And she goes, 75? And I was like, $75? Yes, I goes, 75? And I was like, $75? Yes, I'll take that. And she was like, okay, swipes my credit card. And then I have a business class seat all of a sudden. So my very first trip across the pond,

I got to take it in style. And ever since then, I have longed. I have longed for sitting in a first class seat. I know, I've on rare occasion been in first class too and it's so nice. Maze balls, I'm laid out, I'm watching TV, they're pampering me, they're fluffing me up and turning on soft core porn for me.

I mean, this is a lovely experience, they're pouring champagne in your mouth, it's a lovely experience. But unfortunately, I don't think that's gonna happen to me because now I have eight people to pay for. And that doesn't include if we have in-laws coming with us, if we have 40 people with us. But anyway, you know, when you book a flight like that, you just expect that certain things are going to happen. These inalienable, non-legal rights. It's not like you put a lububu in your house and Satan has the legal right to your house anymore. But it is kind of a social contract that you make with an airline when you pay for the

seat. I would have said, okay, I understand something's going on here. Can you take us off this flight and put us on another flight in business class together within a reasonable amount of time and refund us some portion of that ticket. And that's it. Because now that all the cancellations are happening, all the delays, all the things, there's a strike at Charles de Gaulle or whatever's going on, shit's getting hairy and crazy again, as it always does around the holiday time, let's just admit it. And planes are falling out of the sky and half of them don't have wings and doors are flying off and people are jumping out of airplanes. All this crazy shit that's going on in the airlines.

Let's not let us go back to like 19, oh, to 2007, when it was just madness and everyone was getting kicked off flights and your seat was already booked and all this other stuff. Let's not go back there. Let's not allow the airlines to go back there. So United, I'm not even, I don't wanna talk to Delta because Delta, you're doing a fine job,

but United, one of the few regular airlines we still have available to us, American Airlines, United Airlines, Delta, can we all just agree that when we have a problem, we do the right thing immediately? Not like after someone puts together a social media post that goes viral, but like right then, just do the right thing. Offer the right thing.

Let the poor girl sit next to the guy she just got engaged to. They're not going to want to be next to each other for too much longer. So let's let them have their moment in the sun. Do you know what I'm saying, Chrissy? Right, yeah. Just say that. That's it, yeah.

So we started the show with one of my favorite sound bites that we've made this year in this season. And that is, 5.30, 5.30! Because if you remember, I went over to my mom's for Easter. I went over to the Happy Hills home for crazy people. And we were in the common area, the common recreation area, and there was a guy sitting there staring, we were the only ones in there, my

mom and my kids, and then all of a sudden some guy was just sitting there staring at everybody and start, he started answering questions we weren't asking. Like, you know, yeah, there was like a mention of them. Yeah, yeah. And... Chicken fried steak! Chicken pot pie. Chicken pot pie!

And we were like, oh, okay. All right. Pudding! Okay. Sounds good. Fresh flowers on Tuesday! And I love, I love remembering that moment because it really did happen like that. That was his voice.

And I thought to myself, that's the most unique voice I've ever heard, and the way he's saying things is just crazy funny. However, he's got a doppelganger out there on the internet, and he appeared on my social media because I just have the weirdest algorithm ever created. It's a mix of pastors and religiosity and crazy people and light language. Most of the people that come up on my reels, like when I'm scrolling on reels, they have less than five views.

I mean, honestly, I get the most random of randoms. But this guy is a sales consultant and he has the voice of the guy that was in the recreation room. He was in the retirement home. He could not, either he's doing the best impression of the guy from the recreation room or he, I don't even know what to say. He's the guy. He must be the guy. So without any delay, I'd like to know what to say. He's the guy, he must be the guy. So without any delay, I'd like to take a break

and we get back, I wanna let you listen to what this guy in the recreation room sounded like by way of this sales consultant. The sales consultant. Sales consultant. Okay. Sales consultants on Instagram are a dime a dozen, I've learned.

All from Paul, the guy, you know, hee hee, that guy. Yes, I love that guy. That guy's great. We should go back to him. We need to. But honestly, he gave some good advice compared to most of the people

that are out there giving sales advice. And I found a new one, Chrissy. Let's get to it. Fantastic. We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some really heavy picking to do before 10 o'clock. Hi cats and kittens.

Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans.

Or tell us a little story. The juicier the better, by the way. We'd love to hear your voice, because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, youtube.com slash the commercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with With my dog? No, seriously, Axel needs food.

Today is pork chop day. Hey, what's up, flies? This is David Spade. Dana Carvey. Lookit, I know we never actually left, but I'll just say it. We are back with another season of Fly on the Wall. Every episode, including ones with guests, will now be on video.

Every Thursday, you'll hear us. NC is chatting with big name celebrities. And every Monday you're stuck with just me and Dana. We react to news, what's trending, viral clips. Follow and listen to Fly on the Wall everywhere you get your podcasts. You know, it's been pork chop day for a long time. I got to ask Rachel to cut that. It's been pork chop day for like six months. Good for Axel. That's all I got to say. All right.

He eats well. Okay. Back in Easter, I told the story and I was talking about the guy in the recreation room of my mom's place when we were talking. She was asking the kids to stay for dinner, which I wanted to avoid at all costs because they're just so disastrous and those old people don't take kindly to kids running up and down the fucking tables

at that time. My mom thinks it's great. And everyone else in the place looks at me with disdain. And there was a guy in the corner, not that old, probably in his 60s, and he was answering, he was like responding to my mom. She was like, can't the kids stay for dinner? And he was like, dinner at 530.

And I was like, okay, great. And so it was like this guy, my mom, the kids against me. Well, I wish I could find that guy and have him repeat that voice. But in lieu of that, I found another guy who has the same voice. You ready? I'm ready. Okay.

Here we go. The third key to success as an entrepreneur is organization. That's logistics, protocol, processes, and structure. Please have my calendar to learn more. It's the same guy. All right. Let's see. He's got another one here. Oh, look at here. He's shirtless. Oh, you keep on getting all these certifications to show that you're an expert. Nobody gives a **** **** about your dumb **** certifications other than stupid people like you. Please have my calendar.

Your stupid as shit. Please hop in my calendar. Learn more. I can help you sell more. Look at my beard. It says respectable sales guy. Five 30. Nothing says great sales trainer like shirtless on a beach with a fedora.

I know, with a fedora and a beard. I don't even know how you grow that. Who grows that kind of beard? Hugh Jackman for the next X-Men? I mean, honestly, that is a Wolverine beard if I've ever seen one. It's weird. Okay, here he is again. I've got a number of these videos Do you want to get input from a bunch of very kind?

funny Intellectual multimillionaires. I run a productivity and accountability pod every Friday 90 minutes. It's $300 a month information's in the description below Wow, he's got a multimillion dollar group of people that do a pod. Multi-millionaire! Welcome to my multi-millionaire pod! Here you will learn accountability and why your certifications fucking suck! Jump in my calendar for more information. Five-thirty is the time when I trim my beard. Nothing says multi-millionaire like a tie-dye poster.

In the back. In the back of your- Right above your head. Yeah, in the back of your IKEA furniture. I mean, listen, he's making a living. No knock on that. You got to give it to him. He's out there, he's hustling, he's doing his thing.

I give it to you, brother. God a living. No knock on that. You gotta give it to him. He's out there, he's hustling, he's doing his thing. I give it to you, brother. God bless you. $300 a month, that's expensive. $300 a month is $3,600 a year to join my pod for a millionaire. Did you jump on his calendar? Of course I did.

Of course. I just wanted to record his voice. Uh-huh. Listen, I don't need any sales training, it's not what I do. But can you do me a favor and tell me what time it is? Five thirty! Look at this guy, he is one of a kind. We should call him and ask for some sales training because I think we need it. I think so too. We're gonna need to sell something eventually

on this stupid podcast. I love it. Here's my question. At what level of sales are you that you're like not paying $50,000 for like Brian Tracy sales training. Like Brian Tracy is like kind of known as like the god of consultative sales. Brian Tracy is the master.

Everybody I think would roundly agree that Brian Tracy is kind of like a requisite sales training that you should take. Oh yeah, I remember reading some of his books. Oh yeah. I remember that the first sales training I ever did when I first got into my first like office job, Rafa handed me the Brian Tracy method. And it was like 12 tapes. Yeah, 12 tapes and a bunch of books.

And I went through it every morning. I'd listen to another tape, listen to another tape and give you an idea of what it takes to be a consultative salesperson. That means you're not transactionally selling. You're not selling widgets, or you're not in a Best Buy selling phones, or whatever it is.

You're consulting with someone to figure out what their needs are, and then how to negotiate with them back and forth, and what negotiation really is, and the mind tricks that people play with in negotiation, all that stuff. It's like a really solid introduction to sales. But at what level of sales are you? That this guy becomes the answer.

Do you know what I'm saying? What are you selling? Like, mosquito services for your back hair? Something you needed certification with. Something you don't need certification with, because book your certifications. No one cares. Get in my calendar. Let's listen to another one. Here he is. He's got a nice color shirt. I offer a 30 minute complimentary conversation. I will not try to sell you anything. I will

add massive value to your life in business My calendar is in the description below Please have my calendar learn more It's face changes. Yeah, I know he starts yelling at anything Well under with that I order I offer a 30-minute complimentary Podcast I will not try and sell you anything. I will laugh. I will add no value to your life whatsoever. You will have to listen to commercials.

Get in my calendar. A 30 minute conversation for free where you're not gonna try and sell me anything. You're a sales consultant. What else are you going to do on that 30 minute phone call? You're gonna try and sell me nothing? Really? Is that the truth? I don't believe it. This is why this guy rings a little bit insincere.

Now let's not mention the shtick that he's got. And I, listen, everybody's got a shtick online. We got a shtick on this show. Doesn't work very well, but I'm wondering if his does either. But here's his shtick. His shtick. His shtick is, let me yell at you so I get your attention right off the rip. Let me yell at you and then kindly tell you where to go to use my products and services.

I am a sales consultant. I will add massive value to your life, but I'm not being honest with you right from the moment that I meet you on that, which is I am going to sell you something. I do want your money. I need your money. And that's where Brian Tracy would tell this guy he's wrong. He should say, he should say, I need your money to change out my tie dye poster. Get on my calendar. out my tie-dye poster. Get on my calendar. I offer a 30 minute pressure-filled phone call to use my services. Get on my calendar. Yeah, he should be up front. He should be up front. He did in the other one. He said it was $300 to get the pod.

That's right. Well, that's what I like. I like to know what I'm getting myself into. $300, right off the get, there you go. You know, our friend Allison Hare, who should be credited to some degree with getting the commercial break, it's legs, it's original legs. What I mean by that is that, Astrid encouraged me to do a pod cast,

if you want to call it like a video vlog show on YouTube. Uh, I didn't love that. I didn't love looking at myself in the camera. I didn't like being in camera. And then Astrid said, well, you should do a podcast. But a couple of months later, it wasn't until a couple of months later when Alison Hare, who had

been doing a podcast for about six or seven months before we started, put together a group of people, like a launch program, where she would teach you all the things you needed to know about starting, naming. It was like a little incubator. Yeah, like a little incubator. And then all the technical aspects

about getting the podcast out the door. I joined that, it was like six weeks long. I faithfully attended, I did the homework, I did the things. We worked as a group together to encourage each other. And then out of that comes the commercial break that you hear now, right? Or this version of the commercial break. Alison still does that. She's still out there doing podcast launching and podcast coaches and podcast incubators and all of that. As a matter of fact, that's what she does now, right? Full time. What I like about Alison, when she puts together a whatever, a podcast about her

podcast launch program, a real, a whatever, is that she adds the value right there. She tells you how, or excuse me, she tells you why, and she tells you what, and then she asks you to join her for the how part of it, which I think is the best way to do that. Tell somebody, I'm going to charge you for my valuable knowledge, but here's a little tidbit so that you can understand whether or not this is the right service or program for you. If our friend here, Hugh Hackman, would, in fact, start off with that, give us a little nugget of information, a little tidbit of information, something we could sink our teeth into beforehand, then I think I would trust him

that if I was in the market for a sales consultant, that would be good. Again, I don't know who needs his services. What are you selling if this is it? Door-to-door Bible sales? Yeah, I mean, there's so many types of sales. It's true. It's really true. I have a friend who's selling solar panels right now, and he is the perfect guy. He is the perfect guy for solar panel sales. You know, who's the guy in Fast Times at Ridgemont High? The Sean Penn plays whatever his name is. Yeah.

They call him Bender. Is it Bender? No. Okay. Don't know his name. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, it starts with a P. Yeah, look it up. We gotta look it up. People are yelling. By the way, we're gonna get seven text messages. You know what I love about you, the audience, the listeners?

Do you know what I love about you? I'm gonna share this with you right now. And I love, love, love this. And Alison is one of these people. When you're listening to our show, and Christi and I get stuck in a moment, Spicoli, Spicoli, Spicoli. When we are in a moment like this and we're stuck or we're saying something wrong or we can't get it right or we don't remember the name or whatever it is, you, the listener, will stream of consciousness text us the answer while you're listening, as if we were right here waiting for the answer from you, like it was live. I love it. I love it. It makes me laugh every time I get such a kick

out of it. And it happens more than I'd like to admit. People, because sometimes I'll pick up the phone and it'll be like, Bill Murray wasn't in Ghostbusters 2, or Bruce Willis started moonlighting because of this. And I'll look at the phone and I'll go, well, that's a weird text message to get. And then I'll have to remember that you and I were struggling to remember the answer to this,

and they were listening to the episode and texted us in that moment. Do that more often, because it really makes me happy very much. So, Spicoli is this character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and my friend is Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. That's who he is. He is the exact same personality, stoned and everything.

He is the perfect guy to go out and sell you solar panels, mainly because he's not the one actually attaching them to your roof. But then additionally, he knows his shit, but he's got this like weird way of selling it. Like he's the kind of guy you would a crunchy dude that you would expect to be selling you solar panels. He has no sales technique whatsoever, except to show up at your door and befriend you and then explain to you why you need solar panels.

God, who's still going door to door? That's, that's kind of dangerous now. I totally agree with you, especially when you're doing something as divisive as saving the earth with solar panels. I mean, it really is. I had a door-to-door Bible salesman. The new door-to-door vacuum cleaner is the roof people, and they are ballsy. They come to our house once every other week. Somebody knocks on our door.

Really? I can get you a new free roof with your insurance company. Your roof needs to be replaced. I can do it tomorrow, I've got a crew on standby, I was driving by, I mean they're ballsy and they won't stop ringing your doorbell. If they see a car out front they just keep ringing the doorbell. They're so desperate to sell me a roof and I don't need a roof, I just replaced the roof like nine years ago, I don't need a new roof. I imagine I get 20 years out of it. They're so desperate to sell it

and they have zero sales. Maybe they are the ones who need this guy. Maybe. Because it's just, they just approach it all wrong. Did you know your roof needs to be replaced? I don't think it does. I just replaced it nine years ago. Oh, who replaced it?

What does it matter who replaced it? Right, they're gonna knock that person. Yes, my buddy Jose replaced it. What do you need to know? I don't know, What does it matter who replaced it? Right, they're gonna knock that person. Yes, my buddy Jose replaced it. What do you need to know? I don't know, why does it matter? Because if you didn't replace it, because if they didn't use the potty technique, the potty technique, what's that?

Overlapping, underlapping, overlapping, below, under, whatever, then you're gonna have damage on your, under your roofing. I don't see any water in my house. Oh, you don't? No. Well, you will. Okay. Let's scare me into a new roof. Sounds great. Yeah, sign me up. Meanwhile, I got Pizza Hut. I got one of my kids is drinking bleach right now because she thinks that's soda pop. Can I let you go? Is that all right? One of my 13 children is

currently setting the house on fire. Well, you're trying to scare me into a new roof. Do you mind if I go? Is that okay? Anyway, those are the people that need this guy's help because, you know, he also has a reel that I didn't collect, but he's got a reel where he says, all y'all in my comments talking about what an idiot I am. Meanwhile, I sold, I made $453,000 today alone. And it's like, oh, you did with the tie-dye poster or without the tie-dye poster in the Zoom phone call? I'm not knocking him. He's out there, he's doing it.

Anybody who's hustling for a living gets my respect. That's all I got to say. However, that is the voice. That is 530. That guy, that is that guy. That is his voice. And I just wanted you to hear it. I would like for those two to talk to each other and see that.

Oh God. My mom doesn't even remember who he was. And we suspect maybe he wasn't anybody. He was just a dude who was there visiting or came in off the streets. I mean, there was absolutely no security in that place. There, people could just be walking in and out, taking packages, eating free ice cream, sitting down for dinner. There's no, there's nobody checking anything there.

I mean, I think they pretty much think that like, you know, it's older folks. So what could possibly go wrong? But a lot could go wrong. A lot could go wrong. Yeah. Five 30 dude could be in there just, you know, rampaging. He could be having sex with all the women. I mean, you never know. I know. Yeah, those places you really can just come in and out.

Yeah. There's like a guest book that I remember I had to sign for my grandfather's, but like, if you don't sign it, half the time no one was there to chat. Yeah, that's right. If you don't, there's no guest book at my mom's place. And literally the doors just swing open. Now they lock at 930. They do, nine. Nine-thirty!

But first of all, who decided 930 was the time when bad guys come? Do you know what I'm saying? Like couldn't they come at 530? Yeah, they can come any time. They can come at 415. 930,, that's a magical hour that nothing bad happens after, you know what I'm saying? Nothing bad happens before 930. Unless my parents were right that nothing good happens after 10 o'clock.

That's true. Well, you know what? That ended up being true. So I'm just letting you know that. Chrissy doesn't even go to bed till one in the morning. Nope. Nope. All right, we'll be back. We'll be back.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me, or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com slash The Commercial Break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid. Introducing TurboTax Business, a brand new way to file your own T2 return especially Astrid. Experts are standing by to help and review while you file, so you know your return's done right.

Intuit TurboTax business. New from TurboTax Canada. Some regional exclusions apply. Learn more at TurboTax.ca slash business tax. Oh, wow. Well, okay. No skin off my back. You know the click bait.

Yeah. On the border is not the worst food I've ever had. No, it's not. There's one right there at Linux. We were talking about all these click bait articles, massive food chain, restaurant chain closes and then it's the Tejas, which is in Arizona. In Texas. Okay.

All right. In Mexico. But on the backs of that, we're just reading the breaking news that Phil McGraw's TV network, that was the anti-woke network that was going to stop the disease and pestilence coming through your television with woke networks in your children's faces all the time, that basically just played Dr. Phil shows on three runs, you know, because that's what my children should be watching. It's bankrupt. And I didn't know that it was being distributed by TBN.

Trinity. Trinity Broadcasting Network, which of course is a mega church offshoot. It's a Christian broadcasting network. Wow, did Dr. Phil take a left-hand turn at Albuquerque. Yeah, he did. He really did. I mean, there was a time when I think we all agreed Dr. Phil was bringing straight talk. Straight talk. This is going to be a changing day in your life.

I want you to make friends with my friends at the commercial break. Now, they paid us a lot of money to say these things, but you can go to youtube.com slash the commercial break if you want to watch and they fuck ghosts. And talk to aliens. And talk to aliens and they fuck ghosts and talk to aliens and talk to aliens and generally have potty mouse they are woke yes we are there Phil yeah Dr. Phil oh I used to have mmm I don't think I have it in here anymore but I used to have the Dr. Phil. Oh yeah, you had that in there. Yeah, I had it there for a while.

All right, okay, a couple more things I wanted to get to. Last week, I forgot to talk about mystery. I teed up that I was gonna talk about mystery in his new boot camps. I'll get to that in one second. But another thing that I found interesting online, I wanted to share with you. Did you know you now can roll your dead ones around town

and have mobile viewing services? Oh my God. Yes, there is some wild shit happening in the Funeral industry. Funeral industry. Uh-huh. One of the guys who got us onto Clubhouse, who started like on what was called ClubPod at the time,

or what he was calling the largest podcast-related social audio club in the world, because it was the only podcast-related social audio club in the world. it was the only podcast related social audio club in the world. One of the guys who started that, not gonna name him, he also owned podcast magazine. He left the podcast industry, left us all high and dry, just took off one day. I think because everyone started to understand he probably wasn't all that he claimed to be. He didn't have podcasts. I mean he didn't even have a podcast. And podcast magazine, no one was asking for.

A magazine about podcasting, nor were we asking for the Casey Kasem style top 100 podcasts that you could basically game by just putting, submitting your name over and over again. Anyway, he left to start a funeral home. Really? Yes. And now I recently saw that he left the funeral business to be a DJ. The guy's 62 years old.

I mean, he's, this is the goofiest motherfucker I've ever met in my entire life. Don't knock the hustle. He's hustling. And listen, I've had a lot of jobs too, you know? I've changed industries. Yeah, me too. A lot.

I was working in commercial real estate before I had a podcast, a comedy podcast nonetheless. But this funeral home industry is wild. And when he was doing videos about his funeral home, that was wild. Then I've seen that in the African American community and the black community, it's becoming very popular to pose your loved ones the way that they used to be. To be like they are alive during the wake, during the services. So I have seen some crazy shit, like a guy on a motorcycle, eyes wide open.

You showed me that. Yeah, and then I've seen guys sitting next to his TV with his beer in his hand and smoking a cigarette. The cigarette, literally smoking, like they made it smoke. They made the cigarette smoke. Yes, they lit it, it was smoking. There's just the nuttiest stuff you've ever seen. Guy who loved to play football in a football pose.

It's his real body. They stuck a bunch of sticks in it to make him look that way. It's like they Disney-fied. They taxidermied him. They taxidermied him. It's insane. It's insane.

Well, now we've taken this all to new levels. At a new level. At a new level as you can throw the throw our old bones on in there and roll her around town. Let everyone see her in a mobile viewing cart in a van. Let's take a listen to this commercial for the mobile viewing services. Today is one of our mobile viewing services. We just loaded the decedent and all of the equipment to prepare us for the service. the decedent and all of the equipment to prepare us for the service. I love how Whitney Houston's, Miss you like crazy.

It's not like wind beneath my wings. No, it's Miss you like crazy. Miss you like crazy. I miss you like... But the elevator version, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Meanwhile, we just loaded the decedent. We just loaded the decedent.

Family shoots are mobile fueling service due to religious restrictions, funeral phobias, financial hardships. Funeral phobias and financial hardships. Well, how much does this cost? Yeah, amen. First of all, second of all, if you have a phobia of funerals, what do you have of a dead person rolling up under your front lawn? funerals, what do you have of a dead person rolling up onto your front lawn? That's showing up in your garage. I hate that. They're in my carport now. They're literally bringing- We brought them to you. Yeah, we brought the fear to you. Congratulations. Did you see too? It had like a case of water there on the side.

Yes, well, wait, hold on. It gets much better. Like a little rug? Yeah, this is the most normal part of this commercial. Hold on. And here we are, right into the location in which the family had chosen and that we have approved. Yeah, there needs to be approval? To approve the location? Arriving, we began to park the vehicle. Oh, there is a style with a Mercedes Sprinter van. Yeah, hey listen, those Mercedes Sprinter vans, they're not cheap and they're really

cool. That's what I've talked about, getting one, if this podcast ever makes any money. Scene is safe. And here you have it. We're pulling up to the location. What if on the way you're involved in a wreck? Yeah, what happens if someone dies? What happens if someone dies while you're showing dead people?

This is our final setup. Since it's a little hot today, we made sure that the families are well hydrated along with our... They just pulled up outside of a cemetery. Yes, they just pulled up outside of a, of a cemetery. Yes, they just pulled up outside of a cemetery. Well, I guess it's short drive to throw them down in the ground. I guess. We make sure that the area is safe.

Oh my God. They have a TV in the back. Playing doves flying through the air. Meanwhile, the debt is hot. I can only imagine the smell in there. They have water outside. They put a picnic table outside of the water. I'm so confused.

I am too. Just take him to the cemetery and put him in the ground. Yeah, just go ahead and do gravesite. Yeah, just go ahead and roll his old bones on it. This is our final setup. It looks like a Bachelorette party bus. Yeah, I bet they rent it out too. Yeah, you know they do.

Party bus. Yeah, Tuesday Jerry was in here on Friday. We're going to the strip club. Yeah. Oh, open casket. Oh, open casket. Yeah, open casket at 90 degrees. Yeah, it's hot enough to be passing out cold water, but it's just fine for open casket.

Yeah. And this vehicle was not bought. This vehicle was built by my husband. The vehicle was not bought. Of course it was bought. What are you talking about? It was built by the husband. It's still got the party seats in the the party seats in the back. And the family is also able to sit. And the lights. Yeah. Got like the colored lights. The colored lighting. Yeah, that's, I got that in my,

in one of my cars too. Alongside of their loved one with a comfort snack. A couple of snacks. Oh yeah, snacks. Are you hungry? Yeah. Hey, you want some Lays? Yeah, that's what they've got, little baggies of chips. Yeah, it's sitting, now you have to imagine, it's a Sprinter van, a black Mercedes Sprinter van, door wide open, casket in the back, casket open, and then a picnic table with a black tablecloth on top of it, and there's some Lays and some water in like buckets you buy at Walmart. Listen, before you go see Jerry, would you like some Cheetos and a Sprite?

I know, I'm picturing people like munching the chips as they're looking. I love Jerry, but these Cheetos are really good. Can you roll this van over to my house? It'll be done, I'm hungry. Of course we have to always. Whoa! Oh! A girl just popped out of the bottom. She's wearing a t-shirt. And look who came to help. So Kylie is serving today. Because of the heat, we made her dress accordingly.

We made her dress in her Stitch outfit. Did she have like Mickey Mouse gloves on too? Well those were like plastic gloves, but so you know, for food safety. But obviously they didn't buy them in child size, so they'd look like Mickey Mouse gloves. I mean, it's all just like kind of crazy. Where the decedent will be laid to rest. This is our mobile viewing service. I mean, I hate to knock it, but I also,

because I imagine that a lot of people use it. Do you know what I'm saying? I got to imagine that people, listen, they wouldn't have spent all that money on that van unless they did. All right, so if you need a- But I guess, sure, hold on, because I guess you're taking away the funeral home.

You're just, it's just the home. The funeral home is mobile. The funeral home is mobile. So when she says because of financial constraints, she's really talking about her own financial constraints. I don't have a building to put your loved one in. But hey, listen, necessity is the mother of invention. Somebody wanted this.

And now this is probably popular in multiple places. And maybe it is convenient. I don't know. I guess it doesn't really matter where you view someone. And now this is probably popular in multiple places. And maybe it is convenient. I don't know, I guess it doesn't really matter where you view someone. I'm probably not. I would rather do it in a funeral home, but you know, that's not me. All right, I was talking about mystery last week.

Before we go, I was talking about mystery last week. He's got a boot camp. He's on the move, he's doing things. You know, I've been paying attention to these boot camps as they move across the world, which basically sounds like they rent Airbnb. I've been paying attention to these boot camps as they move across the world, which basically sounds like they rent Airbnb and then they spend three or four days

with three or four guys who are willing to pay five or $6,000 a piece to spend time with Mystery. To pick up girls. Yeah, but I don't even think they get, I've listened to reviews about this and watch videos. A lot of times they don't even get to the picking up girls part. They just hang out with Mystery and his friends for a couple of days.

I think what it's about connection. I think people are willing to pay for connection. Doesn't matter if it's female or not. Anyway, Mystery, we'll get to that next week because it's a little bit more of an in-depth video about the boot camps. But I did want to share this. We got a little bit of time. Mystery recently was on a podcast or something and they're talking about what should be the first

or second date. Where should you go? What should you do? So let's listen to Mystery's answer. Here we go. I avoid the coffee date. I hate coffee anyway. We learned it the hard way.

It makes me shit. I avoid the coffee date. Look how old he looks. He's like 62 years old. He's got the flavor saver. Yeah, flavor avoid the coffee. Look how old he looks. He's like 62 years old. He looks flavor saver still, still that stringy long hair. It doesn't work. It's too me against her.

She's on the other side of the table at the coffee shop. Me against her. Well, what are you supposed to be at a table? Are you playing Dungeons and Dragons? What are we doing? Yeah, you go to a coffee date. It sounds pretty ambiguous. Yeah.

I don't like that. But at a table, any kind of table, even if you're in a regular restaurant. Right. Well, sit in a booth. Sit on top of her. Ask her to sit on your lap. That way it's you and her against somebody else. Set up.

It's not conducive to pick up. Instead, I would invite them to tag along with some chores I have. Nothing says first date like I've got to run some errands. Yeah, nothing says first date like I got to get my carbuncle shaved off at the pediatrician, the podiatrist. You want to come along? Got to do some banking. I got to do some banking. I got to do some banking.

Why don't you come with me? My account's 300 and the negative. Do you have a hundred I can borrow? Yeah, bring your checkbook. I got to do some banking. So banking, who does banking anymore? I gotta pick up headshots. I gotta pick up headshots? Okay. All right. Pick up my new boots. Why don't you come tag along with me? Maybe you're gonna

pick up my new boots. I feel like these are chores he actually has to do. There they are. Got some chores you want to take care of too. You got some banking, we can get it all done together. That's a much more- You want to go double bank? You want to go Dutch on banking? Or picking up my boots or my headshots? You want to go on a double banking date?

I still owe the photographer $500. You want to go double Dutch? Hopscotch on that? Hopscotch. You want to go hopscotch on banking? On day two, you know, just hang out rather than putting the dating frame on top of it. It feels too formal. Yeah, he's giving advice that's going to get no one laid ever. I mean, honestly, dude, I got to be you don't invite someone to go do banking with you

and pick up your head until you're married. Okay, that's probably the best thing to do. Even then, yeah, who's doing the banking? No one's doing banking. Do it on your phone. If you still have to do banking, you're banking at the wrong bank. Do you know what I'm saying? Oh, how did you do?

Well, I will say it's an interesting world out there. We've covered a lot today. I think this might need to be a new segment that was like weird Instagram. That's what I'm doing. I've been collecting them. And so I figured out how I can like, There's enough.

Pull Instagram reels because before I was just able to talk about them, maybe play the audio for them. But now I can pull them down and we can watch them and you can see them on youtube.com slash the commercial break But not a dr. Phil's network anymore. No, I don't even know if he does a podcast anymore. He used to have a pretty popular podcast Yeah, but you know what this is. This is a restructuring dr. Phil be back. Don't cry Don't sing don't sing such a sad song for dr. Phil. He's not going away No, he's a billionaire that guy's a billionaire and like all other billionaires, that means he's bending the knee.

He's bending the knee. Oh, Lord, what are we going to do? You know what I'm thinking about. We need to get that South Georgia Sean down there to that gator trass or whatever it is, and get him to start collecting those gators around there. And let those poor folks out. I mean, unbelievable.

We're punishing people by putting them in a serpentine- In the Everglades? Soaked Everglades. Dr. Phil does still have a podcast I'm looking at now. Oh, he does? Uh-huh. What's it called? It's called the Dr. Phil podcast.

Yeah, okay. And the last episode was Beyonce wore a shirt. The internet lost its mind. The real story with dr. Phil oh it's probably she's probably a Satanist oh dr. Phil now I'm mad I ever paid the guy you know I'm mad but this is before we knew none of us knew he was just a shitty daytime television guy when we did that it was like our one of our first host television guy when we did that.

It was like one of our first host read ads that we did. Anyway, 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we take them all right there at that phone number. Do text us. We love to talk to you. Add the commercial break on Instagram. Thank you for subscribing.

Keep doing it. YouTube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes on video. Same day they air here on the audio and TCB podcast dot com for all the audio video and your free sticker. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I'll tell you that I love you. I love you best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe until next time. Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, GOODBYE! Starts EA. Thanks for watching!