The Commercial Break - NASA Is Listening...To TCB?!

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Episode #723: Bryan & Krissy discuss the possibility that NASA is listening to TCB. No, seriously! Plus, the space twins return to earth and Bryan wonders what's for dinner first. Then, Carl Lentz continues his apology tour on his podcast. He says no & stays low by ONLY doing 3 media appearances, 2 documentaries and a podcast. But now...He's back baby! Carl & his wife try to describe what is was like to go through the tragedy of his infidelity and shenanigans. TCBit: Tina and Subservients make the music & podcast charts for East Upchuck County with "Dangerous Loaf Of Bread" Watch EP #722 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits: Written, Performed and Edited by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. And welcome back to WSH IT. It's 3 33 on the Crabapple Yoni Massage and Counseling Studio Clock. Crabapple Yoni Massage and Counseling. We'll rub it out while you work it out.

Exciting news today for local girl rock group Tina and the Subservients. For the third week in a row, Tina and the Subservients have maintained their position of number 143 on the East Upchhuk County Religion, Music and Podcast Charts. When reached for comment, Tina said quote, I have to talk to the church elders, end quote. This marks the third time Tina and the subservience have been on the East Upshuk County Religious Music and Podcast Charts, this time for their brand new single, Dangerous Loaf of Bread. Let's take a listen to a us coming. Cause we're just wild enough to do stuff like Dangerous Loaf of Bread.

And we tell him, we're gonna keep rolling right over your head. And maybe you need to add that to it. Just like this, hey. I'm a dangerous snow for bread. Gonna keep rolling right over your head. Said I'm a dangerous snow for bread. And I'm gonna keep rolling right over your head. Come on, Sam.

I'm a dangerous snow for bread. A representative for the all-female music group said that Tina and the subservients are planning a new album and a tour of the wider Southern Grabapple Township. Residents are advised to get your tickets quickly as last year's tour sold out in just minutes. Can you smell what the Lord is cooking? We'll be back after this commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break. We've been really quiet for the most part. We did do the Hulu documentary.

That's all. That's all we did do the Hulu documentary. That's all. That's all we did. We did make a deal with Disney Plus, Max.com, Hulu, SiriusXM and Spotify to do a number of documentaries, Chrissy, but that was it. Besides The Sun, The Globe, Washington Post, New York Times, my own blog, my vlog, this new podcast, and Logan Paul's videocast. I mean, that's quiet. Hey, listen.

For me, that's quiet. For me, that's quiet. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris

and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. How the hell are you? You know, we haven't had a chance to talk about this yet, and it's way after the fact now.

I bet you heard it here last on the commercial break, as you always do. I just might let you know that that if you're listening you're hearing information you heard already. The two astronauts stuck in space for almost nine months have had an opportunity to return home to their planet of origin here on earth and thanks to SpaceX. I mean, there's no other way to put that. Even NASA said without Trump's intervention and Elon, those two would have probably not gotten home for a long time because there were no scheduled rocket launches, no scheduled rescuable, I don't know, vehicles to go up there and get them down.

And that fucking Boeing piece of shit is still floating around up there there stuck on the space station. Unbelievable. I mean, what a bad string of luck for Boeing. I mean, I just guess they're bad at what they do now, but doors flying off, wings falling out, planes falling out of the sky, and then they get billion, billion, billion dollar contracts from the government to make a space capsule and they can't even get the thing to fly home. It's kind of an embarrassment. But

you know, in this case, I will give it to Trump and to Elon. They got somebody up there to drive them home, I guess, and Uber up to the ISS. Yeah, and now they're back home frailer than they were before after nine months in space. Everything changes. now your body your eyeball structure Changes did you know that I did not so Gravity helps to keep the shape of your eyes so when there is no gravity your eyes change shape Because the fluid around it, and they're just kind of squishy textured so they change the eyes change shape So when you get back down to earth and then gravity's pulling on your eyeballs again,

some people have trouble seeing, like clearly. And so it takes them a while for that eyeball to get that shape back. So there's all kinds of consequences to being up in space for that long. No surprise there. I mean, when you don't have gravity, it's just much easier on everything.

And, but what's the first thing you are eating when you get back? It's just much easier on everything. And, but what's the first thing you are eating when you get back? Oh, a big steak and some mashed potatoes. I'm having a fat cheeseburger with as many French fries as I can stuff down my gullet, a milkshake and some vagina. An entire bottle of wine. Oh yeah, for you an entire bottle of wine,

for me a whole box of cream and cereal. Yeah, I'm going on a run. I'm going on an epic run. I'm putting that weight back on immediately. Because I can only imagine that the worst part about being stuck in space, besides not knowing if you're ever going to come home to your planet, is not being able to eat anything

that tastes like anything. That's space food. I don't think it's gotten much better. I don't know. It's so funny you mentioned that because I saw a whole thing about it a while back on space food and there's a whole science behind it and they have all kinds of people working on it

to try and make the space food the best that they can. It's gotta be like freeze dried, right? It's just gotta be awful. Yeah, it's all freeze dried. You can't have like liquidy stuff up there, nothing with juices in it, because then the juice flies everywhere. So everything's gotta be freeze dried.

And while I'm sure that they've gotten better at the taste of things, the texture of things is probably not very good. If you're gonna have a, maybe they have hamburgers, but they're completely dry, dried out. It's just all gotta be gross at the end of the day. And you can only take so much of that. It's not like they have a chef up there preparing meals.

You're eating a certain variety of food and you're eating it over and over again. Thank God for that ISS or they would have been fucked. Those two would have been like, that is my nightmare about Space Kids. There it is right there. Is that we get up there and then in some interstellar weird situation,

150 years has passed by before I get to come home to earth and everybody's much older than I am. Like that's the weird shit that goes on in space that I'm not cool with. We're not there yet. We're not there. Space travel is not common. It's not like taking a cruise or a train or a plane. When we get there, if we get there in my lifetime, then

possibly I would consider it if it was something that had been done hundreds of thousands or millions of times. More mainstream. Yeah. And there's like a Ritz Carlton up there. You know what I'm saying? Like there's like an indoor pool and gravity and a chef to cook you meals. If there's that-

The moon Ritz. The moon, the Ritz a la moon, the lunar Ritz, Ritz Luna. La Luna. La Luna Ritz. If there's one of those up there and they figured out the gravity thing and the food thing and everything else and not having my eyeball change into a weird shape and not being able to see when I get home, I already can't see. If I go up to space, I'm fucked.

I'm coming home blind. Maybe that would change it to where you could see. Hey, listen, some people might think that way. I know for me, it would be the exact opposite, that I in fact would be fucked, that I would have no sight when I got home. Okay, so that's, you know, that was exciting news. I watched the splashdown.

I saw them take them out of the capsule and all that. I thought that was very- Big deal. Yeah, it's a big deal. And I felt happy for them. And so right around that time, I get a text message on our hotline here. And that text message has a picture of a picture of those two astronauts as that news is, you know, the news is they're coming home, we're going to get them back down right before the, you know, maybe a week

before they actually splash down. I get a picture of a picture of those two astronauts. It's a picture of them, like on a wall and somebody who's been writing us for a while says, here, check out these two. I pass by them every day on my way to the bathroom. And I'm like, well, let me respond to this one personally because I want to understand exactly what kind of office you're working in

where you have pictures of astronauts near the bathroom. Were they like headshots? Yeah, headshots, yeah. Of them like in their space gear, but you know, with the helmet off and you know, the traditional space headshot. Yes. You know, the one that every astronaut

in the history of ever has ever had. You know what I'm talking about. You're in the suit, just no bubble on the head. No bubble head. And the suits have gotten prettier. I will give them that. They have managed to get those suits now just look like a jumper, essentially.

Now how they keep space out, I'm not sure, but I don't want to be spacing my suit. In my space suit, I want no space. You know what I'm saying? But anyway, so I think to myself, well, either this guy works in a place where they really like space or he has some important job where they have pictures of astronauts on the wall. Let me respond directly.

And since I've talked to him before, I say, hey man, why exactly do you have pictures of these two near your bathroom? And he says, because I work at the Kennedy Space Center. That's why. And I I'm like you work for NASA Wow, yes, I do well You may be a little excited that you're talking to Brian from the commercial break why I have no idea I mean, you know, I'm just a dude, but I am extra excited that I am talking to an actual rocket engine like a you know a

that I am talking to an actual rocket engine, like a guy who helps people go to space. Yes. That's amazing. I'm so excited about this. And I really was. I was like fan-boying a little bit. I'm like, wow, a NASA person is actually listening to the commercial break.

To which I reply, well, there's a first for every, I mean, like paraphrasing here, there's a first for everything. You must be the first person in the history of the commercial break that works at NASA and is listening to the commercial break to which he responds. Probably not. I think I know differently. And I don't want to get into all the details because I don't want, you know, I don't know if he wants to be known or doesn't want to be known. But I suspect there may be some fans of ours

working at NASA. And to which I say, what in the good fuck is going on at NASA that there are commercial break fans working at the highest levels of intellectual institutes? Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. There should be rules around this.

It's amazing. Well, you know, sometimes it's like me watching The Housewives. You know, I want to just tune out, not care, watch something stupid and that's, you know, entertaining. Yes. I would say, Chrissy... And I think that's like what this is. No knock on you. And the point is taken. And I would say yes, it's like Brian tuning in to Seven Little Johnstons while he's editing the show just to have some noise on in the background and see if I can hear something interesting.

It would be like that if either of us were employed in the business of sending people to space and we're not. We are just too dumb, I mean, I'm a dumb dumb, you're relatively smart, but I'm a dumb dumb editing a podcast that no one gives a shit about, except for maybe a few people at NASA, question mark. I mean, that is just like, to me, that's really exciting stuff.

I go to bed thinking to myself, wow, we did it. We did it. We're connecting. We're somehow, you know, like seven degrees of Kevin Bacon. We are a degree away from space. Yes, seven degrees of dum-dums. Yes, seven degrees of dum-dums at which point- We're like three degrees.

Yeah, you reach someone intelligent is in that seven degrees, that's right. I'm excited because someone with intelligence has reached our sphere of influence here. Our orbit, if you will. That's crazy. because someone with intelligence has reached our sphere of influence here. That's crazy. I am definitely feeling, I don't know, a sense of... A little pep in your stomach? Yeah, I got a little pep in my stomach. A sense of achievement, a sense of accomplishment that someone who is much,

much smarter than I am and probably actually went to school and paid attention is, you know, listening to our show and enjoying it. I think that's great. I think it's great. So to the NASA employees out there who are listening to the show or employee, however many of you there are, I will tell you that we love your mission. I am all about it. And even though you will never catch me putting on one of those spacesuits with no space, I will tell you right now that I appreciate what you're doing

because I think it is important. I do think space exploration is important. Oh my God, 100%. You know, did you ever, I always wanted to go to space camp, but I didn't. I went to- There's that one that's over in Huntsville, right? The Huntsville, Alabama space camp,

which a lot of my friends went to for the summer. Yes. Like the month long, you know, your parents pay $10,000 and you'd, you know, do the thing. But apparently that not only, I don't know if it exists anymore. I'm sure in some form or fashion it does. But apparently not only was that fun for the kids,

but in some cases could help to fast track you to a space program. Like you could go work at NASA. That was one of the things you could put on your resume that would say, hey, listen, I'm interested in working here. I went to space camp. Now I don't know how many kids that went to space camp actually became astronauts, but I'm sure there's a few.

There's got to have been a few, right? Throughout the years. I never went to space camp, but I went to the Huntsville Space Center. And that is where I stuck a pizza onto the ceiling and poured 320 pixie sticks into the hotel air conditioner room and made everybody three and a half hours late because I had to clean it.

So I think if it wasn't clear from the beginning that I was not going to be qualified to work at NASA, I'm sure they have that on my record somewhere. It's gotta be on my record somewhere. It's gotta be on my record somewhere. But we did go and we did get to do a few of the things. I think we were there for two days and we did get to do some of the things

that you would do in space camp, ride that twirly-whirly thing, which I remember was not a pleasant feeling particularly. It was like, and we were kids. I think they were giving us the kid version of the ride, but that thing, you know, the circular thing where they spin you around in all kinds of different directions. I do remember vaguely being in that.

I do remember it not being a pleasant feeling because of course it's not. You're just throwing your lunch all over the place. And while I love rides, roller coasters, any of that stuff, get me on it tomorrow. I love it. That I don't think I felt like it was a pleasant feeling. What else did we do?

I think we got to go in like a simulated space shuttle and, you know, press the buttons, stuff like that. We got to put on some of the gear. We got to look at them. You know, they always have to put you through the boring part too, where you look at what they actually do in space with experiments. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

I just wanted the fun stuff. Rocket ride up, rocket ride down. That's what I wanted to be a part of. But then I had to go through the boring stuff to get there too. So, you know, never- Experiments, that's like the main mission. Experiments.

It's the only mission of those things. Yes, that's it. And to release, you know release secret CIA spy satellites. That's it, that's the only thing that they do. There's no purpose to being in space, except to determine if we can in fact carve our lot, carve a way to make a life up there in space longer than whatever.

What's the current record? 165, I mean 3 ninety days or something like that? Something like that. I do know that people have been up there for over a year. Yeah. And I think that guy, one of the senators, don't we have a senator now? Yeah, yeah. There was two twins. Mark Kelly? Yeah, the Kelly twins. Mark Kelly and John Kelly, I think. Yeah, yeah.

The Kelly twins both went up and that was another experiment because they're twins. Yeah. And they wanted to see if space... One down, one up. Yeah. How space, you know space... One down, one up. Yeah. How space, you know, reacted, whatever, you know. How it affected their... One of them they monitored down here on Earth, one was up in space for over a year and then

they determined how, because they're identical twins, theoretically everything is exactly the same. I mean, not theoretically, scientifically they is exactly the same. I mean, not theoretically, scientifically, they're exactly the same. So they get to determine, they get to have a control model and an experiment model and they get to figure all that out, which is pretty smart when you think about it. See, this is why those guys at NASA shouldn't be listening to the commercial break.

We don't want to dumb you down. No, we do not. We need you to be at your sharpest. Maybe that's why that Boeing space capsule is still up there, is because everyone at the Kennedy Space Center tuning into the commercial break and not paying attention to their jobs. Now listen, I know that's not NASA, that's Boeing.

So if there's any Boeing employees that are listening to me, please do me a favor, turn us off and pay attention to what you're doing. We need those doors on that airplane. And I'm sure we have a few Boeing employees that listen to us. That's a big, huge company. But yeah, I'm flattered have a few Boeing employees that listen to us. That's a big, huge company. But yeah, I'm flattered that someone at NASA

would listen to us. I'm excited that those two astronauts have made their way back down to Earth. I'm really excited actually. I'm like genuinely excited for them because I know what a great feeling that must be. And they kept, I feel like everybody kept trying to downplay it like, oh no, no, it's okay,

and we'll just keep experimenting and doing things up here, but. But. I. Yes, but yes. You know, I one time went to Costa Rica for like a month, month and a half. Yes.

And I thought this was gonna be the best time of my life. And it was, in a lot of ways. But after week number three-ish, I was like, why did I do a month and a half? You know what I'm saying? Like I got an apartment, I got people there, I got things I could be doing, you know, and I'm stuck there because at that time I didn't, I was young and I didn't know how I could call and change my arrangements.

You know what I'm saying? They didn't have it. Was that part of the time when we went? We went and I stayed for three and a half weeks and you were there for a week. So I was there for two weeks after you were. I know that wasn't the time, but I was there for a longer period of time at one point.

At another time. Yeah, and listen, I loved the people I was with. I loved where I was at, but I was in the jungle of Costa Rica. I wasn't like in some, you know, resort down in, uh, the punta rain is or something like that. Punta rain is I wasn't down there at punch your anus. I was up in the middle of nowhere with satellite internet service, which just to let you know, you could, yeah.

And this was like 15 years ago. So you could stream a movie, but everybody had to be asleep and everything was on the phone. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to go to the movies. I'm going to go to the movies. I'm going to go tocks. Yeah, and this was like 15 years ago. So you could stream a movie, but everybody had to be asleep and everything else had to be turned off. And then you had to buffer. Like you had to load it for an hour

before you could watch it. But what I'm saying is that I really enjoyed in the moment what I was doing, but by week number three, I was feeling a little bit like this. I'm ready. Yeah, I'm restless. I bit like this. I'm ready. Yeah, I'm restless.

I wanna get home. I wanna be at my home. And it took me another three weeks to get there. Nine months! And some people will say, these are the best in breed, they've been trained to do this, there's no emergency,

there's lots of food and oxygen and rest and water and all that other stuff. They're in no danger whatsoever. I'm sorry. The second you leave the ground, you are in danger, no matter what vehicle you're in, you're in danger. Cause they were going for a short amount of time too, right? Like two weeks.

Something like that. Yeah. Two weeks, something like that. Nine months. Nine months, nine months. And I don't care how steely eyed these these commanders were You have to be a movie made. I'm so of course there is there's gonna be a movie made George Clooney and George Clooney again, I guess he can sure George Clooney Sandra Bullock part two of stuck in space or whatever that was

I mean, I want a full blown documentary done with. Oh, the documentary is coming quick. Yeah. Everything. HBO is on that. That'll be out in a year. No, don't worry about it. Netflix, HBO, Hulu.

Somebody's going to, somebody's going to be on that. But I want the dramatic retelling of like a groundhog day for nine months where they keep telling you, don't worry, we're fixing the jet engines, the propulsion or whatever. And then they keep just like, you know, stringing you along, you're getting increasingly anxious and nervous, it's gonna be a great movie. It's gonna be the real Groundhog Day. And I just, I feel glad that they're home

and I hope they're having cheeseburgers and naps. Best to you, two astronauts. Two astronauts who were probably listening to us in space, I would imagine. Yeah. Why not? All right. Last week, before we had TCB Informercial Tuesday, last Friday, Chrissy and I started to dig in to Carl Lentz from Hillsong's church.

His triumphant return, his big apology tour has started, he's got his new podcast, and he has decided that with his wife sitting in the room, he is going to tell all of us how they are going to move forward from the tragedy, he had the balls to call it a tragedy, the tragedy. And that he just wants to forget it. Yeah. Well. Of course he does. He brought it on himself, but let us all think it's a tragedy, as if a hurricane came swooping his dick into a random babysitter. Don't think that's how it happened, but okay.

And listen, I want to say this. I believe in second chances. I think we all make mistakes. I've made a lot in my life. I'll make many more. And I'll apologize in advance. I'm sorry. I'm just feeling like this is not the most sincere of apologies. I think Carl needs money and he sees that that bank account is emptying quickly. How can I get back on the gravy train by apologizing and telling everyone I have a new mission to walk with the Lord and strap, strap in or strap on. Carl's back. He's going to have a new church in no time. You need to strap on your Bieber hat.

Oh, I'm going to strap on this Bieber hat. Carl Lentz is going to make his triumphant return to the commercial break after just two days gone. He's going to make his triumphant return. So let's get that teed up and we'll be back to continue our conversation with Karl Lentz. More like Karl conversing with himself. Yeah, he's not even, he's telling his wife what to say, basically. But anyway, we'll get into it. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.

And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a

future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of The Commercial Break. Hey all you cats and kittens out there in the podcast universe. I want to tell you about Rule Breakers with Serea. It's a new podcast from our partners at Odyssey that celebrates the rebels, the risk-takers, and the ones who make their own way. It's these people who often change the lives of the people around them and the world at

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You can follow and listen to Rule Breakers with Serea on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. And hear, hear to the Rule Breakers for keeping life interesting. Okay, here we are again with Karl Lentz, our good friend from the Hillsong Church. Best friends with Bieber for a period of time. He was caught preaching on a full dick, as I like to say, with his hard sword of the Lord and a couple of lovely ladies. Victory V. Yes, Victory V and a yoga instructor and a babysitter and dropping cash at somebody's mom's

house to make sure she didn't talk. There's a lot of shenanigans going on with Carl and he got caught and he's explained, and on Friday you can go back and listen to it, he's explained the moment when it all went down and where they were and how they got there. They had nowhere to go. Nowhere to go. They got kicked out of the house. They were staying at, I imagine somebody regarding, somebody had to do it that had to do with the church.

Somebody famous. Somebody famous or somebody had to do with the church was not having it. They did not want all that kind of drama in front of their apartment or their condo. So now we are getting to the point where Carl's having a conversation with his wife. His wife is asking some questions to Carl and Carl is then telling her what to ask, when to ask it, how to ask it.

Because that's what you do. Oh, let me get my phone out here to make sure that if Carl calls, we've got it. Hey girl, hey Christian. it. Hey, girl. Hey, Christian. What's up, Carl? Well, I just got to say, it's been a long time since I had an opportunity to preach to the fairer sex. And also, it's hard looking at just the same tits night after night after night, and that's not the way the Lord has taught us. He said,

thou shall have variety in the nipples and the navels. And the good word of the Lord preaches it to us, but I got this girl, my wife, she just not understanding of the Bible right now, because I did accidentally slip and jizz all over the babysitter. And so, I just, I don't know how to say this and make sure that I'm in touch and in step with all that God has given us. Can I see your tits? Send me a picture. I'll send you, Venmo you over a couple dollars. Thanks, Chrissy. Tell Jeff I said hello. He's going to heaven if you send me a picture of the tits. Letting it go was not easy.

Oh, it was easy. It was the not letting go part that was hard. That's where I got in some trouble. That's when I got a little revved up, high on coffee, full of semen. I needed to let it go, as Elsa would say. Let it go, let it blow. All right, let's, well, let me get back to my apology. I'll call you later, Chris. But I got some advice that I still tell people to this day. I still apply it to my own life. By the way, we're not going to be the podcast of the people that have arrived and know everything. We're the people that are on a journey of healing. But he said, Carl, you got to let the rain fall.

Cause I remember calling my friend going, this isn't fair. Like at some point we got to step up and at some point we got to say something. At some point we have to, this isn't fair to who? Well, I was going to say, yeah, it's not fair to your wife and your family, that's for sure. It's not fair to the, by some accounts, millions of people who are tuning in, showing up at your church, giving you guys money, you know, dancing to the techno beat of the Lord. I don't know what you guys were doing over that church. Bieber and Haley and all those people. Who it's not fair to is the people that you were standing

up there preaching about all the piety that you needed everyone else to adhere to while you were living the rock star lifestyle. It was hypocrisy. That's what wasn't fair. I don't care about the, I mean, I don't care about the cheating because it didn't happen to me. I don't think you did right by your wife or your kids, but that's my own personal moral compass. It's the part where you tell everybody else to do something, but you refuse to adhere to that yourself. It's hypocrisy. Share our society. It doesn't matter right now. You got to let all the rainfall. And if the rain falls and it hits the ground, blaming on the rain. Yeah. Yeah. And eventually stays long enough, it will produce new life, new growth that rain in this crisis. It's part of the process and you have to let it fall.

Let it rain and it will grow and it is growing Chrissy. And that is why I'm calling upon you today to, first of all, 1995 plus 1995 shipping and handling and you get access to my new app called letitgolents.com. And then also there you get a discount if you allow me inside your universe. And by universe, I mean uterus. And that's just, that's how we do it here at Let It Go Lens. That was hard for you because your natural, your personality is to fight, it's to protect, it's to justify, it's to do all of that. So this was really a hard thing for you to do. I was okay because I'm like, I just wanted to hide. So you also said you were in trouble. You were in big, deep trouble.

Can you explain that a little bit more? Because for some people, they're probably like, what does that mean? When I say in trouble, I think I was at the end of a spiral, a cycle of decisions that I had been making and I felt like I wanted to take my own life. And I told you that, didn't know what to do about it, but I knew it was serious. And I think there's like two parts of me. One part of me was just like, I just want to go. I just want to leave. I don't want to be here. I'm so embarrassed, I'm humiliated, my family is in this way because of me. And I was in a really, really bad way.

I felt like it was, I didn't know what the next hour was going to hold. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Send $19.95 to Karl Lentz. Let it go, Lentz. Now listen, taking your own life is nothing to be joking about. And I can understand that there is a sense of desperation when you feel out of control and you've made bad decisions and other people are suffering because of it.

I empathize. I really do. I honestly do. I empathize with this moment,. I honestly do. I empathize with this moment, this thing that he's saying. I think he's being sincere when he says... Then he just put his gold chains and his leather jacket back on and dusted himself. That's right. Spend another 38 minutes on the highest setting in your tanning bed at the house and then get out of it, put on your gold chains and let's start a podcast.

So for me, to be at that level of fear was really dangerous. And I think by the grace of God, you know, we had some people step in and help us and point to a plan. And I remember right early on just saying, here, I'm gonna put my life in the care of some men that have not chosen to leave, they're gonna stay. And I'm gonna- You mean a PR company. That's what you mean, right, Carl?

Cause I'm pretty sure that's what you're saying without saying it. Yeah, exactly. Some men that have chosen not to leave because they're getting paid to do so. Your agent, your attorney, your manager, that's who you count on in these moments. Every celebrity does. If you don't get dropped by them, that's what happens. But a cheating

scandal, you know, that's for a PR company, that's a Tuesday morning. Right. Try to figure out what to do. And we're going to go bit by bit. And it was the choice we made. Yeah, newspaper by newspaper, church by church. To be quiet all this time, so worth it, because of where I feel like we sit today. And you cannot heal and fight at the same time. So I've seen now from this view, I've seen other people do it their way, where people are always fighting. And I think to myself, how many Instagram posts can you put up?

How many sub tweets can you sub tweet? How many people can you attack with your side of the story? And I was like, I get it, I relate to it. But how can you heal? How do you how do you heal if you're always moving, if you're always fighting, if you're always swinging? How in the world can you ever figure out what's wrong with you? Also, what was his side of the story? I mean, it's pretty cut and dry. He cheated and he lied. Uh-uh. And this tragedy happened to our family, Chrissy, because I fucked a lot of women that were not my wife and some that may or may not have been part of the church, Chrissy. I had a lot of men that didn't decide to leave me that I paid a lot of money to, to advise

me to shut your fucking trap and zip up those jeans and be quiet. And I took most of their advice. Tit picks. Back up. Right. I'm so glad. I'm grateful.

I didn't get it at the time. I hated it at the time. It was so hard. Now I look back and if I would have spent any time defending myself or trying to figure out some way to salvage our image, there's no way I would have been able to get help because I would have focused on that. We've been really quiet for the most part.

We did do the Hulu documentary. That's all. That's all we did. Yeah. Right. We did make a deal with Disney Plus, Max.com, Hulu, Sirius XM, and Spotify to do a number of documentaries, Chrissy, but that was it besides The Sun, The Globe, Washington Post, New York Times.

My own blog, my vlog, this new podcast and Logan Paul's videocast. I mean, that's quiet. Hey, listen. Keep it quiet. For me, that's quiet. For me, that's quiet. That's quiet. I also did another babysitter, a couple dances.

Listen, you can take the lens out of the pants, but you can't take the pants out of the lens, you know what I'm saying? Do you regret doing that? Would you have changed it in terms of like feeling like we were maybe a bit too soon or like shouldn't have said anything? I don't know. What do you think? We had so many opportunities to do interviews. And I remember thinking after we got through that first season, I remember thinking, I don't know when. By the way, to be fair, the commercial break included. I reached out to Lentz and I got no response. We're ever going to be able to speak on this. The right time will come. And we were approached about the documentary. I don't know if I would do it again. I think my motive

was to feel understood. Yeah That's and the money. Yeah, I'm sure you know, they got paid You know, they got paid hundred grand hundred and fifty grand something like that We did it. Yeah, and that's never a good motive like my overriding thing. I said other things I was like we can do it for this one do for that But if I really really search my own, we did that so people would understand. What I realized afterwards is that it's not going to work. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. There are people who are not, they don't want to understand, and there's people who do want to understand. We can't change their minds. I can't change anybody's mind. I watched that documentary. I don't remember like understanding anything different. I didn't understand anything.

He was just trying to make himself more personable, I think. Well, the documentary he's talking about is the Hillsong documentary. Well, there were two. Yeah, there was a couple. And he played a very bit part in it. It was not an extensive interview. Yeah, it was like a tell-all.

Yeah, and he didn't say anything revealing necessarily except to say that he fucked up and that he was licking his wounds and that Hillsong had a good mission or whatever. And he didn't know about Brian Hillsong's bullshit or Brian, whoever's bullshit. But I will, you know, again, I want to try and empathize a little bit. I don't want to sound like the coldest heart in the world. I get it.

You went through a tough time, but this isn't like, you know, this isn't 9-11. You can go through some huge tragedy that happened to you that was befallen upon you. You were part of a rather scammy, scuzzy version of Neo-Christianity that takes money and has a bunch of people who are of certain ilk, looking a certain way, acting a certain way, hip with the kids, you know, way, acting a certain way, hip with the kids, you know, muscle bound, leather clad, makeup on, you know, designer glasses, famous friends, to try and convince people to come in the door so that they can get all hyped up on music that is pre-produced to make you

feel a certain way, open your wallet and make other people rich. And you were at the top of that food chain. And maybe that's what you should be apologizing about. And maybe not so much focusing on the cheating scandal. Yeah, you're worried about your image or you seem to be worried about your image when maybe you should be worried about the relationship that you guided people to have with a misguided version of God and religion. Maybe that's what you should be apologizing about, but I don't think that's gonna happen

because I think he needs to go back to that well. That's my interpretation of what's going on. I don't know that to be the truth. I don't know what's in his head or his heart, but I would imagine Carl's forging a path back to the pulpit because there's a lot of money in the pulpit. Well, well's deep. Oh, yes, it is.

And so I looked back. I wouldn't change. I wouldn't regret it because I didn't know then. I thought this is going to be an objective documentary, which isn't ever going to happen. I think that the producers tried to be as honest as they could with it, but we didn't control it. Yeah, we didn't know what they were putting it. We didn't know who they were talking to,

or what any of it was about. We just knew that our story was going to be like an overarching situation. And it was going to be left alone, because we'd say we don't want our story to be attached to a narrative about how somebody else is bad or whatever. And you know what, people made it what they wanted to make it, but I learned in that moment of watching people talk about us, some stuff was true, a lot of it's not true,

which we can talk about. But I know for myself, the thing that I realized is if you don't want for people to lie about you, don't put yourself in a position to be lied about. Right. And I started. Well, how do you do that? Well, tell me how you do that.

I mean, listen, take the commercial break, as an example. We've been doing 750,000 episodes of this show. I don't purposefully lie about anybody, but I get it wrong all the time. Innocent people that I just go ahead and just say their name wrong. They did this movie, but I get it wrong all the time. Innocent people that I just go ahead and just say their name wrong. They did this movie, but they didn't. They've screwed this person, but they have not.

You know, innocent people. Listen. Some people have died, they haven't. Yeah, that's right. A lot of people are dead that haven't died. A lot of people are alive that are actually dead. So, you know, maybe it works both ways, I guess. Wait, what was the quote?

If you don't wanna to be lied about. Don't put yourself in a position to be lied about. I guess, I don't know. It was a dumb quote. Myself, I'm going, you know what? Yeah, the lies are hard because what I did do was bad enough to just talk about that. But it's the stuff that, you know, was thrown on in the middle of that. Danielle Pletka What was thrown on? Chris Smith I don't know that he was Bieber's boyfriend or

something. Who knows? I don't know. I only slept with two babysitters and one yoga teacher, but then all of a sudden there's a girl that chilies and there's a girl at Houston's and there's another girl that works at the coffee shop and Chrissy that's not a coffee shop that is not a coffee shop it's a crepe and beignet shop and I just felt awful that I was being lied about me not her me mad and bitter to go and it's my fault like it's my fault I put us in the middle of this road for people to lie about us. So rather than be even mad at the liars, it was a great moment for me to go,

you know what, I'm just never in my life gonna give other people the control that I gave them. Because when you are in a situation that's dishonest, people don't know what to believe. So I remember that day kind of changed me when we talked about us. I'm just never gonna be here again. People are gonna talk and they did, but moving forward,

I will never put myself in the position that I put myself and I'll never put you and our kids in a position that I put you. And why don't you come out and say it? I'll never cheat on you again and lie to you. I cheated on you. Not the whole situation, quote unquote. I'm sorry, but I think you owe us all the gory details.

I want to know blow by blow action. Yes, how did they meet? When did they meet? Pump by pump. Where are they, affair that? Thrust by thrust. Chrissy and I need to know how this all went down. Vulnerable, so yeah, that's why we waited.

I'm surprised one of the women hasn't come out with like a book or something. Oh, I'm sure they have, but it's just we don't read it. Yeah, who cares, honestly. It's tabloid fodder and no one, you know, maybe some people are interested. People who were involved in the church are really new, Carl, or were, you know, went and saw him every weekend, or maybe they're interested in all the details, but, and I am too, but only if he says it here on this podcast. So I can be here.

And you just were saying it's your fault that you put us in that position. Who is at fault? Who is at fault in this whole situation? Because there was things thrown around in that space as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm at fault. I'm at fault in this whole situation? You know, because there was things thrown around in that space as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm at fault. I'm at fault. Who? I am. Who?

You. You, yeah. Tell me again, tell me again. Who's at fault? She is so whiny lately, Chrissy. It's like, sometimes I wake up in the morning and she's in my face and she's like, who's at fault? And I'm like, I am, I'm at fault. I preached on a full deck and then I emptied it all over the girl from meditation class. I'm sorry. Who? Who's at fault? I am. Yes, ma'am. I kind of like it makes me horny sometimes, actually. I don't know. If you want to come over and ask me who's that fault, I'll tell you I am.

And I'll be on my knee. It's a kink now. Indecisions, my choices. That's my responsibility. You know what else is a choice? Is to chew gum while you're doing a podcast. Please stop. Why is he chewing gum?

I don't know. I've seen this a couple of times on some major podcasts and it drives me crazy. It's like, don't chew gum. Even though it's not as bad as some other podcasts where they're chewing gum, it's pretty bad when you're chewing gum on a microphone. I take responsibility for it. I have wanted people to know when I get a chance to talk to them that I'm deeply sorry for what happened and it's nobody else's responsibility. It's mine. We always have choice.

We always have our own agency to do what we feel like we have to do and I mismanaged my We feel like we have to do. You had to do the yoga instructor, did you really? That you met randomly at a park? Unbelievable. Personal life. I hid things that I should not have hid. I lied about things I shouldn't have lied about.

I was confused about who I was at times. Didn't get any help for it. And the result was a whole lot of pain for a whole lot of people, which I will remain deeply sorry for for the rest of my life. I don't live in the shame of it, but I'll never forget the impact that it had on people. And it's nobody else's fault. It's my life. I don't live in the shame of it, but I'll never forget the impact that it had on people and it's nobody else's fault. It's my fault. And I feel like when you're in a situation, your fault, whose fault? My fault. Whose fault? My fault.

Oh, I could go on with that all day. All right, let's take a break. And then when we get back, we'll hear more of Carl groveling in front of his wife. Finally, we're getting through. I mean, at least she's getting a little, a little airtime. Repurbation here, whatever you call it. Repurbation, is that even a word? I don't know. I made it up. Sounds good. Repurbation. It's like masturbation. Only it hurts. We'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. We'll be back. PCVpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at youtube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters.

See Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now was it? You're welcome. All right, real quick, because I think it's funny. My, one of my kids drew some art at the beginning of the year and then they had a little art show and we went and saw it. It was nice, you quick, because I think it's funny. One of my kids drew some art at the beginning of the year, and then they had a little art show, and we went and saw it, it was nice, you know, whatever. But we're talking about kids drawing stuff.

I love it, I'm proud of it, I think it's wonderful. But now there's this company that emails us every three days, mugs, hats, t-shirts, gloves, you know, full-size painting, canvas, mirrors, you know, shoes. We can get it on anything, it only cost, you know, 99.99. And I'm like, wait, it's like a four-year-old drawing this stuff. I mean, it's not Picasso.

All right, back to Carl and his apology tour here on his new podcast. You should, where you have made mistakes, you have two options. You can point out the window and try to find other people that are more guilty, as guilty, and you feel that need to deflect blame or you look in the mirror.

And I feel like we've done the best job we can. I know I have worked really hard at staying in the mirror. What did I do? What's my responsibility? What's my role in this? What part in the story did I play? And I- Bad penis, bad penis.

Carl's penis has been a bad penis. Bad boy. Stay in that mirror, look in that mirror. Oh yeah, oh Carl, you're hot. It's okay, it's all right, you'll get back on the horse. You still got a couple good years left and let's get some more hair plugs and get back out there. There is something going on there.

Not sure what it is. Yeah, it's like a merkin on his- Yeah, I don't know what that is. It's like a small little patch. It is, going on there. Not sure what it is. Yeah, it's like a merkin on his... Yeah, I don't know what that is. It's like a small little patch. It is a little patch. Did you think they took that from his arm pit hair or something? I'm not sure. I am so heavy throughout it that I don't have a lot of time anymore

to worry about other people's role in the story. But what happened to our marriage and what happened to my platform, it was my fault and my responsibility, nobody else's. And that's just the truth. That's just the way that I see it. It's the way that I accept it. It's the way that I relate to it. And my job now is to make living amends.

As I've explained to you, when you wrong people and you hurt people've explained to you, when you wrong people and you hurt people and you offend people and you break the trust of people, if you're truly about owning what you did, you try to make amends. And I've done that where I can, privately, with the people that I feel like it's been appropriate.

But we- Well, I'd like you to come on a commercial break and make amends with us. Yes. Because we had a whole character based on you. And then you went away for two years, and we had to put the character away. And what about us, Carl?

What about us? What about our show? What about the things that you, the pain that you caused us and me personally? Public figure person, and you've hurt people on a bigger scale, your whole life has to be a living men's. And that's what I plan on doing.

I can't, you know, go up to every single person that was a part of our beautiful church and say, I'm sorry to you. I can't do it. It's not possible, but I can live a life of integrity and honesty that gives people reason to believe and gives people reason to have hope. And I cannot change people.

I can't change their minds. Big, big revelation for me in this chapter. Big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, is live a life of integrity and honesty. And nobody cares about what my words are when it comes to that. I don't care.

You don't care what my words are. But if you're truly repentant and you're sorry about something, your words need to be said, but it'll change the way you think. And when you change the way you think, it changes the way you act. That's true repentance. So I feel like we've got a couple years now of fruit of what we've been trying to do. But I feel like we've been saying a lot of buzzwords, Carl. A whole lot of buzzwords over and over and over again. I think you made your point. Now, show us pictures.

It's my goal. You know, if people want to believe, if people want to follow, if people want to listen, that's their right. I can't change them, but what I can do is continue to recover. If people want to pay me to get an ad free version of this episode, I can't change it. I can't, what am I supposed to do, Chrissy? Money's just, money's just hitting me in this episode. I can't change it. I can't. What am I supposed to do, Chrissy?

Money's just hitting me in the head. I can't help it. Be who. Feel like I'm called to be. Be your husband. Be a dad. And leave my life on display like it's always been. Say, if you watch the bad parts of it, well, the story's still continuing. This is the story. Take it or leave it.

This is who we are, and that's my goal. To live a life of living amends. I really wanna be able to say this to you in public, because you were, your reputation was damaged in public. You had nothing to do with my hidden sin, hidden habits, and hidden addiction. hidden habits and hidden addiction. You fucked hot girls that were under your guys, or maybe not.

Maybe you were having sex with multiple women, some of which were part of your church, some of which were not a part of your church. I don't know, because you haven't told that part of the story. That seems to be the one part of the story you're avoiding. I don't think anyone ever blamed your wife for that. Maybe some people did, but I don't think anyone ever blamed your wife for that, but that is not an addiction. That is some dumb thinking.

That is some dumb, dumb thinking. That's all it is. Not everything in life is an addiction. Here we go, psycho psychoanalyzing, sub sub sub-gen genre of mental health illness is to make a category specifically for us. The reason why we did these things. But the truth is it's just a dumb decision to have sex when you're such a public figure with people who clearly may or may not decide to have their own agency and go out there and tell that story. You got caught.

That's what happened. It's not an addiction. It's a dumb decision. not decide to have their own agency and go out there and tell that story. You got caught. That's what happened. It's not an addiction. It's a dumb decision. You did not know what was going on with me. And I know there's been some confusing reports where people can try to piece something together and say, you know, Laura, was she complicit? Did she know?

And that's just not true. It's not our story. Hey, Carl, it's Laura. I just want to let you know that I hope you're having a good dick sucking. I mean, complicit. Why would his wife be complicit? Who thought of that? I don't know.

Or maybe they had an open marriage? Oh, maybe that's what people thought? Maybe. Huh. Now, that's a twist I could get with. Now, that's a TLC reality show waiting to happen. Yes, it is. Carl Lentz, the Thrupple.

Ha ha ha ha. Carl Lentz, the Thrupple. Karl Lentz, the Thrupple in love. Didn't know anything about what I was doing because I became really proficient at making my life work despite a lot of pain. And there were times where you asked me questions to my face and I didn't give you honest answers. There were other times where I even tried to make your reality confused. And you're just a- Yeah, gaslighting. Gaslighting, yeah.

That's what you do. You're a beautiful human being and your character has never, ever been in question. There's never been a complaint about you. You are the most lovable person and the most loved person that I've ever known. You were the backbone of our church, the leader to so many people and you did not deserve.

Okay, this is gonna be another, they're gonna jack each other off here for the next 30 minutes and I don't know that I'm with it. I don't even know that I need to platform all the BS. Listen, I hope that he is a changed guy, that's all I can say. I hope he's a changed guy. We've had some good laughs at his expense

and we might continue to do that. I'll say that Carl is a character in our universe that is exaggerated probably from the real human being. He's obviously in a lot of pain. He put a lot of people through a lot of pain, and I do hope that he is a reformed dude because everyone deserves a second chance, including Carl. And I don't think what he's done is the worst sin in the world. I think that my opinion is the hypocrisy at the church

is more damning than anything, at least to the wider universe, than anything that he did in personal indiscretions. That's painful to his wife and his children, but more of that religious, let me take your money and hope everything works out kind of thing. So I hope Bieber forgives you. Has Bieber forgiven you is the question. That's the main one. Yeah that's the one I want to know.

Bieber call us. Well Bieber's on his own terror right now. What's going on with him? You see he's all kind of a mess. Yeah he's like making posts that are weird and you didn't know. Look into it. Google it when you get home. You do a little hunt and peck it. And I don't know. I don't know, but that's just what's on there. Well, he's been a little erratic the past few years. Yeah, but like the last few months apparently, like more erratic and people are a little concerned. Wondering if he's trolling or what the deal is.

I don't know, I don't know, but some people think he was caught up in some of that ditty stuff and maybe that's kind of leaking out the side of his brain. I was wondering about that this morning. Shower thoughts. Oh yeah? Thinking about that whole ditty thing. When's the next step? They're all, they're doing free motion trials right now,

back and forth, and the government's putting more evidence in, and lawyers are trying to get more evidence out. I'm ready. Yeah. For them to get. Sentenced? Sentenced, yes.

Well, if even half of it is true or a quarter of it or a tenth of it is pretty bad stuff. So let's see. Innocent vote proven guilty. That's the way that it is. But he sure, it sure does look from my point of view, like some shenanigans were going on there. All right. Yeah. More shenanigans on the TCB podcast.com website, all the audio, all the video, all of our shenanigans right there from one location. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCBpodcast on TikTok and YouTube.com slash the commercial break for all the video.

The same day it airs here on the audio, two one two four three three three TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas, or a voicemail if you'd like to be on the show. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. I love you.

Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say, goodbye. I get ass.