The Commercial Break - Neat Death Cat, Bro!

Episode Date: December 26, 2022

The North Carolina Cherokee Death Cat is a one very dangerous Fangle toothed creature. You must very careful when in meandering around it's territory! However, if your a Monster Hunter you can just freely roam around without fear. TCB goes back to one of the fan favorite in Season 3...Mountain Monsters! Bryan and Krissy cannot figure out how to make content lists Bryan decides to clear out some of the lists before Season 4 Time Allen was a blow dealer The anus is a new evolution in human history Disney is having one very bad year! The Star Wars hotel is not the rousing success Disney head hoped Bryan & Krissy get interviews by one very horny reporter Natalie is issued an apology Mountain Monster hunt ANOTHER fanged creature The Cherokee Death Cat is nothing to be trifled with Huck and Buck interview a witness from the X-Games Buck #2 is scared by the Fangled Tooth Tiger! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I want, listen, look at me. I want to be chill. But God has other plans for me. Peace. On this episode of the commercial break, he didn't ask anything about us. Basically, he asked us three questions. How did you guys meet? What is your show about? And would you like to sleep with me and my wife? What part of the country are you from?

The squirrels are nocturnal. It's hard to find those nuts there in the night. If it was such a thing as a whatever, Cherokee death cat, you would not catch me ever in the middle of the woods looking for the Cherokee deck. No. You want to know why? It's not a fucking moron. Instead of being a real death machine, he was a lover. He sprayed me with a little piss and told me he'd be back to find me. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Now. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Back news or fiction is guaranteed in 15 seconds or less, you heard it here last. All right.

Let's get into it. We're cleaning out the list. We have these lists that we make for show content and we've been going all year with all these different lists. And we just can't, everyone just can't seem to get on the same page. It's probably my fault, it's all my fault. I'm the headhunt show around here, so I probably could just tell everyone to use one look. Yeah, you were telling me to use one thing, but then when you wanted to use another...

Then I was using a different thing all together. Then I started taking... I was just making you... I was making more work for you. That's what I was doing. I'm not getting any boss of a company. I just make more work for my employees. Why? I don't know, because I'm paying them. But you're not an employee, just to be clear. Yes.

There are employees, but you're not an employee. Yes. Matthias is an employee. He's an employee of the commercial break. Yes. They come in here and make sure that they're pod. They come in here and they make sure that all my equipment is working at least once a week. And then dad has to come in here and spend three hours fixing it. I come in here the other day and Mia had stuck like princess stickers all over the thing and I was like, oh that's cute, but I couldn't get them out of the like the- The channel's, yeah, so fit. But she's too cute to dislike, so I, you know, whatever.

So anyway, so we're, at the end of the year, we're getting toward the end of season number three, just so you know scheduling wise, we'll be back early February to start season number four, new and improved, better than ever. We're actually gonna spend some time working on the podcast. That's gonna be a refreshing change. It will be. Yeah, for those listening. It'll be more work for us, but for those listening,

it'll probably be a refreshing change. Or at least attempt to do that. We are gonna attempt to do that. So, I thought that what I would do is I would go through here here some lists That we had here here here here here get to the bag of the line Here's some lists and then we go through them rapid fire and by rapid fire What I what I mean is quickly, but what we have been doing is very slowly yes

Quickly to us means five to 10 minutes on every talk. So you want to do it? Let's do it. All right. OK. Did you know that Tim Allen was once a blow dealer? Yes. He went to jail for cocaine distribution.

Yeah. Did you know that? I was like, I talked about this week. We did. OK. Maybe I just didn't check it off the list. We did. That's crazy, though, to think about.

And I think about this every Christmas, because that's the time when I usually see Tim Allen again. Oh, you think about doing Blow? Yeah. Think about it. How do you think I get through this fucking show? Snow. Snow.

Blow. Yeah. It's blowing snow, something like that. I gotta get some cocaine! It's not gonna be crazy! Um, so... Every time that I think about it, every time I see Tim Allen, I remember that at one point, he spent like seven years in jail or something like that for blow distribution, because he wasn't just like, you know, dealing with dime baggers.

He wasn't dime bagged, Harold. That guy, he wasn't doing that. He was like, trafficking cocaine. Really? Yes. Isn't that amazing? There needs to be a Netflix story about that. I'd watch it.

I'm surprised there hasn't. I've seen documentaries with Tim Allen about Tim Allen, like the A&E version, the real softball version, where they like briefly touch on it. And he says, I learned my lesson, you know? But Ditty, Ditty, is Tim Allen still snorting blows what I want to know? Because all the habits die hard, you know?

And so, I'm thinking that it's... There could be a chance. There could be a chance. The Tim Allen is still running blow around the country. Wouldn't that be funny if you got like a Tim, the tooltime tailor, whatever his name was? You got a stamp on your cocaine bag? A little hammer. A little hand.

That movie Christmas with the cranks you've ever seen that movie. It is so fucking bad. It is. It is so bad. And now they're running it all the time on AMC. And I'm like, why of all the movies to choose? It's Christmas vacation Christmas with the cranks. The night before the Sutherogan. Oh, the Seth Rogen's pretty fucking funny. Yeah

But I mean it's not amc is it uncensored on the emcee? I don't think so it requires you don't even know what channel amc is on your cable No, I mean I just bought the movie so I don't know oh you did yeah I like that. I don't even know that they're running it on amc Chrissyissy's just making stuff up. And that will be two here. Fact news, a fiction. Did you know that at one point, mammals didn't have buttholes? Did you know that a butthole is the result of evolution? That at one point, we just had one end and one, like one hole going in, but that whole was also for going out.

And scientists really aren't sure which hole that is. So it's very possible we could have been talking on our ass as well, we're shitting. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha don't know, it's just, it's kind of gross to think about all the different things that could do with it. There's a reason that that evolutionized into a different way. And so the bullshit could come out of both my mouth and my ass. Well, come again to the commercial break. Yes.

You know that Disney built that, a Disney galactic hotel. You know that you haven't heard about this whole thing. Total flop, complete failure. So I took the time, you know, you know, a lot of Disney news lately. Disney hasn't had such a great year. I'd say they haven't had such a great three or four years since that guy Bob Chepeck was in charge. Right. Now they got by a byger back. But I think a lot of the problems started with Bob Iger. I'm not sure that it's all Bob Chepex fault, right? But without getting into completely boring stuff

about the Disney Corporation, they built this hotel. They got the right to Star Wars from LucasFilms for like $30 billion or whatever it was, $3 billion. They immediately go and they make as many movies as they possibly can regarding Star Wars. And only one of them is good. And then everything else is just shite, right?

And now they have this television series that I guess is good. Mandalorian, I haven't watched it. The Mandalorian is good, but now they've got so many other ones too. I was talking about it yesterday. I know. Yeah, and I was looking at it, and I got a notification about another one coming out. And I thought, you know, I don't need to know about every single character's complete history of their life. I know, they took them,

they kind of stealing the magic from Star Wars a little bit. Like the first trilogy of movies, there was a backstory, but you didn't necessarily need to know, you know, who put the screw on the Millennium Falcon that caused it to, you know, fall apart in hyperspeed. Like you don't need to know that. Yeah.

But that's where Disney's going with it. It's like they're taking this whole pantheon, this whole lore, and they're going in every crack and crevice and trying to pull content out of it, some of it good, but a lot of it bad. And just for what reason? I don't know, because they have to make their $3 billion to do.

So then they build these two lands, the Star Wars land, the Star Wars theme lands, one in Disney world, one in Disney land, a billion dollars each. I've been there. It's neat, but it's got one ride that you'd want to ride. It's like you pay seven. Whatever you use the word neat. Neat.

It means that it's not good. It's not good. Yeah. Neat is a polite way of saying it's shite. You can't do that, Jackie Weaver. It's, so they built these lands, they're, okay, but they're kind of duds. And then they go and they build a whole hotel

that's the second you walk in the door, you don't go anywhere for like two or three days. They, they, they vellip you in this immersive experience where, you know, there's some, I don't know what it is, you know, the Galactic star lord is taking your super lightsaber and, you know, making it soft when it's supposed to be hard or whatever. I don't know what the deal is. And you go up and down the elevators and you, you make snow, he says, and really, so I watched one of those like videos, like those review videos that a lot of people do, you know, they go in and they give you a point of view about everything that's going on.

And so they have like space poker, space chess. You can play, you know, dictionaries, like Star Wars Pictionary. It's the most, you spend $5,000, and then it's the most inane, mundane bullshit you could ever hope to imagine out of a Star Wars hotel where you're stuck for two or three fucking days

and you're paying out the notes for it. You don't even have a window in your room. Your window is a screen that shows Star Wars shit, whatever that is. Space. Space. Thank you. Perfect. Remembering the technical name of all that stuff out there.

So this hotel, which was supposed to be sold out for months and everyone was gonna be this big ordeal, it was never really sold out and now it's kind of a flop. And so I don't know why we're talking about this, but I just thought I'd mention it. We're cleaning out the list. So even as a diehard Disney world fan, I don't think I'd spend an extra fucking dollar

to do any of that stuff. I don't wanna be stuck in a hotel for two or three days. If I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna go on a cruise ship. Cruise, yeah. That's right. Or I can get drunk and jump off the boat like the Coke bros that we're doing that in a video one time.

This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. A bunch of kids, teenagers, 21, 21, 22, however old they were, and they're drunk, and they're in their cabin, and they're out of port. And their rooms that have balconies are facing the sea, so they're in port. But the other side of the ship is docked. Yes.

And one guy just, he just runs, and he leaps over the balcony and he just goes headfirst into the water and then a whole fucking you know then everybody in town's got to go try and rescue the guy because obviously he's injured because you can't you can't jump off 35 fucking stories of now the up and then expect that you're gonna land on water safely. It's dumb. Thank you, Chrissy. Welcome podcast directory is a thing. Oh, the podcast directory. I just got to say this. I'm just gonna say it out loud. Why not? No one's listening to those fucking show anyway. The podcast director. There's a thing out there called the podcast magazine, which is a pretty ridiculous concept in and of itself.

We were featured in there. We were featured in it. So that's why it's even more ridiculous. There's a thing out there called the podcast magazine, which is a pretty ridiculous concept in and of itself. We were featured in there. We were featured in it. So that's why it's even more ridiculous. Exactly. The fact that we actually got featured in the podcast magazine should be an indication. Early on, like, after, before we were even recording in together, we were doing it from our laptop.

We were like 30 episodes in, I think. And if you want to hear a really bad podcast, go like 30 episodes into the commercial, right? You're going to hear a really bad podcast. According to some reviews, we're still really bad, but we at least look better here in this studio. We sound better. We have actual microphones now.

So we get proposition to be sure to get proposition. Chrissy get. Let's tell this story because it's good. So, someone says we're looking for a comedy podcast to feature in the podcast magazine. Would you like to be that featured podcast? So I say yes. And somebody who is in charge of that particular section of the magazine decides he's gonna get on a Zoom call with us to do an interview that's then going to be written about and put in a podcast magazine. How ridiculous is that? Just think about that for a second.

So we get on this Zoom call and I'm a couple of minutes late to the Zoom call. I can't remember. Yeah, I'm here first. I can't get in or whatever. And as soon as I pop on on I can now see this guy and Chrissy and I can see that Chrissy is horribly already horribly uncomfortable for whatever reason I don't know. Right. And so this douche can do so then proceeds to interview us. He doesn't ask us any questions about us. He just tells us about himself and

how he's a swinger and how he's gonna. Yeah, he showed his wife my picture. She really liked it. It was awful. All of a sudden we were being propositioned for a force. Like I didn't know. We didn't know, you know, are you two together? Have you two ever had sex? Did you know that my wife and I have sex with other people that look just like you? Would you like to come out and visit us? We're only 17 hours away. We can come to you. Do you wanna see my penis?

The whole thing just went off the tracks from the beginning. He didn't ask anything about us. Basically, he asked us three questions. How did you guys meet? What is your show about? And would you like to sleep with me and my wife? The first two questions took two seconds to answer. The last one we just let like a dangling participle.

We just let it go. Oh, he was trying to message me to like separately on the Zoom. Oh my God, it was, yeah. He was like, do you really need this guy? What if I just do the commercial break with my dick in your mouth? I mean, how do you feel about that?

It was really weird. It was very uncomfortable. It was probably, completely... But we were featured. We were featured. And we got a four page spread. He took our two question, he took our two word answers and he did a four page spread,

where he talked more about his sex life. But it was just like a whole weird thing. So we get featured in this magazine, and listen, at the time, any press is good press. Yeah, we're just trying to grow the show. We didn't know what was good or what was bad. We had just started. I always suspected that podcast magazine

was a little bit of an oddball thing to do. But I said, hey, you know, let's do it. And other prominent people had been featured on this. Yes. So if it's still around, and I don't think it is, but if it's still around, you can go and look up, what is it like December of 2020, I think? Yeah, December of 2020 is one,

or November, one of the two. So as an addendum to the podcast magazine, you too can be featured in the podcast directory, which is what Apple does on their podcast app. I don't know why you need a podcast directory. Now, because there are millions of them, but okay, podcast directory that then comes out in magazine format, Chrissy, because nothing screams. It's magazine. Web three. Yeah.

Like, nothing. Nothing screams. It's magazine. Web three. Yeah. Like go. Nothing screams technology like a print magazine. Like a print magazine you can't find or buy anywhere. Yeah. The whole thing is sus. Let's just put it that way. It's all sus. It's basically a way to make money, right? Because to be in the director, you have to pay.

Or do you? Because here's the thing. So the first year that we knew of the podcast magazine, we, I paid some very small nominal fee to be in that podcast magazine because I felt I had to and that was a different story altogether. I won't get into, but I felt like I had to do that. There was a number of people. There were a number of compromising photos. Yes. yes, yes, yes, that they had a picture of that guy who interviewed us with his dick in my mouth Yeah Instead I decided to pay to keep those photographs under wraps

And so this fucking podcast directory is not a podcast directory of who's good or who's bad. It's not of who's got the best ratings or most traffic. It's not it's not even if you still have a phone book, but for podcasts, but for podcasts, but there's only like 20 podcasts per category. And looking back on that podcast directory, knowing we were gonna talk about this today, looking back on that, I think half the podcasts are not even podcasts anymore.

I'm sure. I think there are two podcasts in the podcast directory that I know of that weren't even podcasts when the podcast directory came out. It was like coming soon, my podcast. Who's buying this? I don't know. Who's even looking at it is even clueless. But it can certainly bring you hundreds of thousands of new listeners according to the media.

According to the media package, right? This was a dumb idea from the beginning. But and I've not listened. I've done plenty, I've had plenty of dumb ideas too in my life, one of them being the commercial fucking break. So I'm not going to give too ahead of myself. I'm not going to be throwing stones in a glass house. But here's the thing.

We never paid for the podcast directory this year or last year, yet we were the number one comedy podcast in the podcast directory this year and last year. Really? And I think it's because we paid for it the year before and they couldn't convince another shithead to pay them more money So we got like a three-fer Crampotherton. Yeah, and honestly, I just wish they would take me out because I've been associated anymore I'm gonna have to write a season to sis. Please don't give me anymore free publicity

It's stupid. It's the stupidest thing I It's stupid, it's the stupidest thing. And I'm sorry to any of those who's feelings I might be hurting. Paris Hilton was on the recent cover. How, man, how the mighty have fallen. Paris Hilton went from her own TV show in Fashion Life to the cover of Podcast Magazine. Distribution, 350 strong.

Where do you pick up a copy of the podcast? I don't know, I'm gonna say next time at the grocery store, I might look and see in that magazine section which I always skip that aisle. There is no way in the good fuck that podcast magazine is in any grocery store near you. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't even know where you would get it. I really don't.

We got a funny the funny part. Yeah, the tabloid part. It should be in the you know, they have like a like fire starter logs. Yeah, starter logs for your fire. It's right there. Yeah, it should be in that area. Just rolled up podcast magazines. Keeps you armed during the winter. But we have a copy. They sent us a copy. Remember they sent us a copy in one of the hard copy. I have it somewhere in my

schedule. You can file. And you're shit pile. You know that box where you just throw stuff and you're like, I don't want to throw it away. Yeah, all my like tax information and the bills I don't want to pay, they're all in this big shit pile on my table. I've met my Vika Vodkaz magazine somewhere in there.

Yeah. But I just thought, I mean, this happened way back in February, but I thought I'd mention it because I got the notification that the new podcast directory had been issued. And then I looked at the new it because I got the notification that the new podcast director He had been issued and then I looked at the new podcast and I was like we're like have a half-page spread Okay, and I'm like I didn't order that I didn't do that I Didn't want that who gave that to me Take it away please gal gone take me away

Uh Okay, let me get to one more thing and then I'm gonna get to today's meeting potatoes. I wanted to say this to our dear friend Natalie. Remember Natalie? No, I agree, yes. Natalie, for those of you that don't know, they had a friend.

There was some crushing going on on each side, but neither of them would tell each other to like five years into the friendship. Then they contacted us and said that he had told them that they were that he... Interested, he loved them. Pining away. And I'm saying they and them because she's... She's pansexual.

She's pansexual and refers herself as they and them. And I'm saying all of this, that we have our first commercial break relationship. It's Natalie and their boyfriend, I guess, what you would say. They're both pansexual. But when we gave an update a couple of weeks ago, I referred to them as her. And I just wanted to say, I apologize. I...

We're trying to get used to all this. Yeah, we're sorry. Yeah, honestly We're just trying to navigate the wall. Yeah, we're just showing our age right now Yes, that's exactly what it is. I was hanging out with some like youngsters the other day and they navigated it beautiful Oh, yeah We for sure like all this they had it all down they had all the lingo down They nailed it and I'm like a We don't have a lot practice. No, we don't we need more practice And we have they and them that contact us all the time and they'll put it they them right so now we we love you

And I just wanted to say that very briefly and hopefully you and Your love interest are going well. They are. They are. They're doing well together. I just thought I'd say that. They, I told you that's the last update. Like there was talk of children. Thanksgiving happened. They went to go see the parents together and, you know, say, hey, we're no longer friends now or an item. And then there's talk of children. And I wanted to be the Godfather, not the real Godfather because you don't want to give me any responsibility. I'm all full up on responsibilities over here, but like the podcast Godfather.

Like if your kid ever needs anything, podcast, you're not invited. Any advice. You need any kind of advice. Don't pay for the podcast directory. If anybody from podcast magazine calls you and you're not into polyamory, get out. So I wanted to apologize. And this is a big deal, Natalie,

and I'll tell you why, because you know how many mistakes I've made on this podcast? Do you know how many things I've said that are incorrect on this podcast and never once apologized for any of them? But I'm saying that because that hundreds of thousands. Let's give a quick shout out to Jason Mamo and Lisa Bonet and that whole thing. Oh my God. I was listening to that show earlier. I was like, oh my We didn't even come close to getting that one. I did you

What you are the one feeding me the information I'm always confused. That's why you're here That's why you can feed the big bucks You're supposed to straighten me out It's supposed to be Brian's this crazy wack of doodle dude. Crazy guy. Crazy guy and crazy reigns me back in. I mean, I try. I can only do so much.

I was totally lost on that. I didn't know whether or not Jason Mahmo was sleeping with the daughter or the sister or the step brother. I didn't even know what was going on. But we got it all straightened out. Lisa Bonet has been with both. Lini, Travis, and Jason Mamoa. She is on an epic run, two of the hottest guys they ever live.

And she slept with both of them. Yeah. So which I said, I don't know if it's a run because there's 20 years of bird between the two. It's more of a bride. But I have no doubt yeah, between the two. It's more of a Brian. But I have no doubt, let me just say this.

I have no doubt that Lisa Bonnet is always going to be on a run. She's gorgeous. She's so good. So good. So everybody, yeah. It's like Brian. I was learning.

If you ever go down to the park and you see me running, you're probably going to pass me with your walking pace. I run it like I run it like 60-minute mile The other day there was a kid on his bicycle and I was running and he had just learned he's like wobbling all around And he passed me double speed double speed. He was like ah

And his mom's got his mom has it got another kid in the stroller. And she's pushing the stroller faster than I'm running. She wasn't running. She's just walking. And I'm like, training wheel bike. I'm trying to get in shape. All right. So it's the end of the year. We ask people to tell us what your favorite segment or review clip or whatever it was.

If you tell us we would get to it before the end of the year because it's likely we probably won't revisit this in season number four for at least the first couple of weeks. And people were split. Frankie. 80% of it was either Frankie B or mountain monsters. And I would say it was a pretty even split between those two. But some people who liked the Mountain Monster bits really didn't like the Frankie B bits.

Okay. Sorry about last episode first. I know. Love, hey, yeah. Well, I didn't know it was the last episode. It was the last episode. We might even... Show that one out there.

You know what time it is. It's time for the commercial break inside of the commercial break. And I'll keep it short because you already know. 855-TCB-8383. That's 1-855-TCB-8383 is how you get a hold of us directly. It's not a spam text message line. You can send us your comments, questions, concerns, or content ideas all through text message to 855-TCB-8383.

If you're brave, leave a voicemail We want to know about your favorite moment from season number three. That's all of 2022 any episode any clip any moment text Us please let us know we've got a special surprise between season three and season four and we want you Involved go to tcbpodcast.com hit the contact us But you can also send us a message there listen to all the audio or watch all the video better yet go to youtube.com, hit the contact us button, you can also send us a message there, listen to all the audio or watch all the video. Better yet, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break to watch full episodes in a whole new like. Watching the video version will give you extra tickles right in your pickles.

One more tiny little favor if you are ever in the market for our sponsors, products or services, please use the specialized URL or codes or go to the website that we mention on those advertisements so that the sponsors know we're doing a wonderful job. Let's listen to a word from those wonderful financial sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. Alright, everybody, I gotta let you know about our wonderful sponsors, Lulu Lemon. Last week, I stopped by the Lulu Lemon store to get myself a pair of joggers. You think Lulu Lemon is just for yoga pants,

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For anyone who needs a little comfort in their life, LuluLemon.com, and we want to thank LuluLemon for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. We would like to review another Mountain Monsters, ladies and gentlemen, I was strolling on the internet. As you do. As I do like to do, Chrissy, what do you say we give it one more college try? What is the monster? It is the searching.

The fanged creature. Ha ha ha ha. The y'all fanged creature. Something like that, I don't know. I'm sure Buck will be yelling at screaming without any moment now. Ha ha ha ha. Ladies and gentlemen, more time in season three,

our good friends at Mountain Monsters. All right, guys, the next creature we're going to investigate is one we have a history with. We're going to Cherokee County North. I've been dating this creature for three years. My ex-wife. We'll go back, way back. The next creature we're going to be investigating

is my ex-wife and her new boyfriend Darryl. Uh, Carol, we're going after the Cherokee Death Cat. Hell yeah, let's get out of the Cherokee Death Cat. Wow, that's an intense name. By the way, this is not too far off the board. There's could also be a thing, creature. Yeah, it's Cherokee Death Cat. It's probably a calico with 12 kittens.

Me? I'm excited. We know this Death Cat is nothing to mess with. It's a huge thing. Whoa. So they're showing an artist's rendering. It looks like one of those things that you've encountered the museum.

Like if you go to the museum natural history and you see. It would be a recreate the fangled tooth tiger man it's got horns or claws coming out of its nose yeah coming out of its head head all over its head there's claws I think the artist took a little liberty here All over its head there's calls. I think the artist took a little liberty here. I'm just gonna guess It's a lion. We need more cloth. Yeah Put more claws in his eye

Way in a 500 pounds four foot to the shoulder Call that would absolutely take your head off We're getting ready to meet with our first eyewitness. Arrbuss, be our guy. An outdoorsman named Bubba. He's grown. Yep, looks completely legitimate to me. Our first eyewitness, that's your name Bubba. What's your day job, Bubba?

I'm the Executive Director of Podcast Magazine. the executive director of podcast magazine. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha trying to shoot some squirrel next minute I'm getting wiped off by a fangled tooth tiger He's got petroleum jelly that comes out of his claws Well, yeah, we did Man my dive was squirrel hunting back here on the back of the place How to put a good mic? So when we're wait Not only was he a squirrel hunt, but he had to add in that they had a pretty good night. We killed a lot of innocent.

We have heard of deer hunting. I've heard of all different kinds of hunting, but specific squirrel hunting. Squirrel hunting is a thing. My dad does it all the time to keep those squirrels off the roof. Luckily he's a bad shot. He scares them.

Man, my dad was squirrel hunting back here on the back of the place. Had a pretty good night, killed her limit. So when we're killed her limit, what's the limit on dead squirrels? What is the limit on dead squirrels? My god, 300. I know, jeez. And by the way, who's killing squirrels at night? I don't see squirrels at night. What part of the country are you from? That squirrels are nocturnal. It's hard to find those nuts there in the night.

That's what she said. Who's alive? Oh. Coming out of the woods, I was along about that tree right back here. That big one is kind of laying inside ways. And dad was in front of me on that little bike and he just stopped dead.

And said, he just stopped dead. He had another widow maker. Fourth this week. Well, he got off his bike and he turned around and looked at me. And he said, did you see? Bike. I didn't know there was a bike involved. He said he was walking up along the bank

I can see yeah, this guy's pretty old in the first place like I can't see like a 92 year old man biking through the woods Soon score. No, he don't be I'm shooting squirrels and practicing for the X games Got my limit got my limit 300 there it is Mountain biking with a gun in his hand a sheet of dead squirrels hanging off his back Just like a bundle of dead squirrels hanging off the handlebars. 360 allie. Throw me them out new. A red bull. Hey son, get that Papa John's app up, $5 off Fridays.

We're going to go BMX biking out in the woods, hunt squirrels in the dark on my new He said that big cat. He said, son, that cat was eight or nine foot long. Said it was huge. That's cool. Said it come running. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing.

That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing.

That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That is. It is. It is such an attire. It really is. I know there are people like this that exist. I've met them. I've been to Cherokee, North Carolina. I know it goes on up there.

And they're all very nice people. But I don't think many of them are out squirrel hunting at night looking for fangled tooth tigers. Get this fallen long. Death cat. That's it. The death cat. It's the death cat.

Oh yeah, the death cat. Death cat. You know. Yeah. We're out of here looking for the death cat it's the death cat oh yeah the death cat that's what you know yeah we're out here looking for the death cat lep through the air and hit right there on that bear spot on that tree and then jumped off and went around in that way as hard as it can go he said that you see it it jumps he said did you hear him he's right in front of us let's talk about him like he's not here he said he jumped 47 feet into the bear spot on the tree.

And then off, that's right, like a... A pinball and all over it. Like a pinball machine, he bounced off, and went a mile that way at 3,000 miles per hour, and then he came back with his limit of dead squirrels. We all had a squirrel roast. Sponsored by Mountain Dew and ABC and Huffy. And Huffy.

It jumped from this log to that tree. Yep, Gordononed to my... I couldn't tell if it was my dad kicking a new, awesome asterisk. Oh, that's a 10 foot long. Snarrow tooth tiger. Face tooth tiger. And I mean, he was physically shaken. I did not shook up. For his dad to be shook up like this, living here all his life, he was physically shaken. Had him not shook up.

For his dad to be shook up like this, living here all his life, he's seen an impressive creature that's scared to hell out of it. You don't even know his dad. His dad can have the shakes anyway. How do you talk about it? I'm interested to see how far it is from that log

up to where it lit up in that tree. That's a pretty long shot. I want to get a measure. Once you get out of the measure, but they're gonna get it. Once you get out your dick and measure it, but... I wanna get out of measuring tool that I have been using for a while.

It's this hair stick. That measuring tape, first of all, like there's not one that goes that long, I don't think. There is. There are ones that go like football fields long, right? But they're big and number one that goes that long, I don't think. There is. There are ones that go like football fields long, right? But they're big and number one and number two, there's like you go to Home Depot and buy a laser for $10.

It could measure a football field. It's exactly how far this big cat jumped. How far is that? What if they just kept trying to get a kid to snap and back? Yeah. How? Ow. Stop that. Well Well hold still then. I'm trying to get a fake estimate of how far this fake creature, fake jumped. And it's another least six foot. Where it landed at, you're looking at 54, 55 feet. Wow.

You know, I've heard of Cougars mountain lines been able to jump 35 feet. Never heard of anything been able to jump 50. No, it cats in there. You know, I've heard of crystal mathematics being able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but never a cat. Sari, our Bobcats and Mountain Lions.

That's not what Bubba's dad's seen. What he's seen, that's the Cherokee Death Cat. Bubba, we appreciate you telling us your story, man. Based on Bubba's story. This is really a great scientific information that we're gonna take back to Harvard where we're currently doing a study on Fangle Tooth Tigers. I mean, you'd be the most famous person on earth

if you found a fangle tooth tiger. Death cat. Death cat. And why isn't the fangle tooth death cat? Why isn't this guy talking to a scientist or something? I don't know. Or this is a perfect spot for us to get out here tonight and do an investigation and find out

if this is Cherokee death cat. Of course, that's the ad-night. Yeah, that's the ad-night. That's the ad-night. It has to be in the woods, it has to be alone, and there has to be a certain element of certain death in order for it to be exciting. If there was such thing as a whatever, Cherokee Death Cat,

you would not catch me ever in the middle of the woods looking for the Cherokee Ducat. No. You want to know why? It's about a fucking moron. I'm gonna let these guys do it. Show me on Travel Jam. After talking to Bubba today, we took that measurement, that cat left uphill, 55 feet, a massive killing machine. Yeah. This is the chair. I don't think they know that he down there but sitting over there. But I think you're just being dialed in and you're ready. Boop. Boop.

He's death cat. So we head out this way. Start working back and forth see if we can find any signs. So let's break up. Yeah, let's separate. A good way to, as far away from each other as we can. To make it easier for him to eat us. He's a killing machine. He's a killing machine. Cherokee Deathcats to this area.

Sounds good to me. Let's know it. These big predator cats, they don't fool around. This thing could be on top of you before you blink your eyes and you're done. Something big's been through here. Aardbert Dirt, where Leezor kicked up, so almost like we jumped something. Hold it for a minute. Hold up for a minute.

He's got an infrared camera, like binoculars. And he's pointing him right at the back of Buck. And he's like, hold up for a second, I got something in the camera. It's big. It's big. Oh, guys, I didn't want to point out the obvious, but I think that's Buck you're looking at.

I'll be over here shutting up. I got something glowing right in the bottom of that tree right there. It's about 20 yards. Oh, check this out. Check this out. It's a worm. Check this out.

I just pissed up on that tree. This is looking to do the thermals. Get the thermals. The thermals. It's too big. Get the thermals. I'll get the thermals. The thermals. It's too big. Get the thermals. I'll get the thermals. There's a penis. It's like no penis. Oh, it is a penis. He's saying it's fresh pea tracks. You know that one of those guys. Hey guys, I had too much man do on the way to work today. I just paid up against

that tree if you guys want to use that in the show. Feet it. Wow. Smell it. Oh yeah, look at those claw marks. Damn, cool one. Just here. Yeah, goon. We just found a scent post. You can see claw marks on the seven feet in the air and fresh urine at the base of the tree. This has to be the death cat. Oh, there's death cat death. This has to be the death cat. Oh, we're not getting our contract renewed. There we are.

We definitely got a cat in here, don't we? What's out of doubt? Look at our tree. Look at that old tree. Never seen anything like it in the forest before. I've never seen a tree before in a forest. It's got to be the death cat. It's a dandy inn. Turkey loves flying up big old trees like that, man.

Turkey loves flying up. I don't know Turkey's gonna fly. Could Turkey's fly? Do they fly? I don't know because I've never been around it. I think they can like float. They can flutter. Yeah. Flutter. Yeah. Not a 50 feet in a tree. Turkey. It's not a fucking parakeet Turkey Yeah, I heard it here sounds like someone There's right up through few rock I'm through you. Yeah, I heard it Run that thermal Jeff run that thermal from that thermal certain to save us. No matter what it is. If we can see it in for red, it can't see us.

I heard a gunshot, by the way. This can't have a gun. I'm gonna brush my hair right there. Right there, right there. Come on, let's go. Hey, God. Stay right on a buck. Be careful.

It's getting ticked. Stay right on. It was going right through here right through here Jeff you got a thing with thermal Right through here you see what go through here Jeff you got a thing with her Jeff Huck with us Jeff Well, I got stuck in the thermal

I'm tripping balls. I lick the death cat urine and it made me hallucinate. And now I'm in the thermal world. Now I see in thermal. Where the hell did he go? What's there? He's easy. That's something that's going all around us. It's right by Jeff.

Jeff! Get down! It's right by Jeff! Let him get killed. It'll keep the death cat occupied for a few minutes. We've already lost three of our members. I don't even know where they are. Get down!

We gotta go. Yeah! Get up, let's go! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Here's the three we lost you, Matt. Not here. Up with Austin. Yeah!

We didn't look, but he would lost him. They didn't do anything. They walked two feet and then they go, it lost him. He's a daisie goler. We'll come back next month for his body. anything they walked two feet and then they go, it all says he's a daisigoner. We'll come back next month for his body. It's his ridiculous one, you think about it. This reminds me of me and my friends,

and we were like 11, 12 running through the woods at night being scared of something that wasn't there, making shit up in our heads. Yeah, go. Get it through! I'm gonna like it. What? I'm gonna like it.

Let's go. Come on. Yeah! There's a slide down here. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! You got anything on the thermals? Yeah! Yeah! We lost them! we lost them! Oh my god, this is so... Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!

Jeff, hold up, Jeff! Jeff, wait a minute, it's okay! Everybody's penis gets hard, everyone's in a while! We all shit ourselves! It's okay, you don't let the run! So what you can't see is that Jeff is found and lost in the woods apparently just walking around. Grabbing Jeff. It walks by so many. Oh my God. Let's get him into this. It's locked eyes with him. Yup. It happens.

So I feel every time Ashtard looks at me. It locked us with me. It knows I went to the tanning, man. It knows I bought the roadcaster with the credit card. Jeff, talk to me. What's wrong? Talk to us. I need to get back to the truck. I need to get back to the truck. I need to be right back. I need to get back to the truck. That probably would have been a good idea in the first place.

It's just a stay in the truck. Don't want leads to have a close up encounter with the death cat of Cherokee County. Honestly, we know. Let him promote that, okay? That's what I need. It's all I need. We just got up the jazz and he shook up.

I don't want to be alone again, but you won't be here. We need to get him out of these walls. They'll start nag like my wife, and I don't like it one bit. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I just want to go back up to the truck alone. Get right behind him. He's just not himself.

We're getting you outta here right now. Why is it that every time one of these Yankee Doodle nandies here finds one of these mystical creatures? First of all, they never get it on the show, but we already know that. They can't because it's not there. But why is it that they all have some mysterious illness that strikes them directly afterwards

when they can't talk or walk. Whenever one guy was in the game. Yes, and he came out and he couldn't talk for an hour. He's like, oh, sorry. What did you see? A worm. A little bay check from Travel Channel. Easy Jeff, where you going? Jeff, where you going?

Jeff, where you going? Right now, Jeff is beyond being shook up. Easy Jeff. Jeff, easy Jeff. He's running into trees. Yeah. He's running into trees. Yeah.

Huckleberry is ahead of security. What are you doing? Secure Jeff. Secure something. You can't believe there's a tree in the woods. Secure Jeff secure something You can't believe there's a tree in the woods Maybe somebody else to me had a security all round up in the air get him to the truck quick we can He's never worth this man scared guys. We got a ditch here. We're on to cross Okay, go ahead Jeff. I'll take you time

Take your time Jeff Okay, go ahead, Jeff, I'll take your time. You do have to take your time, Jeff. What happened? I don't understand. I don't understand. The other time when the other guy buck crawled into the tree. I don't crawl into the tree. And he came back out and he was all frazzled too.

Every time these guys get left alone, they need a psychiatrist. They need better health.com after. Oh, he just fell into the ditch for God. That's got to be embarrassing. Yeah Grab me one two three Right now the hard Jeff Val these woods down to Bucks truck What happened to him?

Fuck Bucks Truck! A fucking stuck in a Bucks Truck! What the fuck? I'm stuck in Bucks Truck! And try to get him settled down. You're in the truck waiting for sight. He's had his life locked. Yeah, he got his eyes locked with the Cherokee death cat.

It'll change a man. It will. It'll change a man. Can't ever see the world quite the same way after you stay. If you would go death cat, scared, lock eyes. Lock eyes with a fangled tooth tiger. You can't go back. Probably a squirrel that they're hunting at night.

So now what happened dude? Still taste these breath. I can taste his breath. I didn't expect him to try for second base not on the first date. We don't even know each other. We don't even know each other. Hi, this is a taste of breath. They dunked me. Wow. I mean, he wasn't even romantic about it. They just give further and further. It just, it just, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,

it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, Taste his breath. But then the cat laughed. Yeah, the cat laughed. Yeah. Instead of killing me, instead of being a real death machine, he was a lover. He sprayed me with a little piss and told me he'd be back to find me.

He lived in his tail, made that mist that comes out of the cat's ass or whatever. He dumped Kiss Me and then he left. I'm not sure whether to be aroused or scared. We locked eyes. We locked eyes. We hooked Dicks. We touched penises for one brief moment in time. Give me one moment in time.

When the death cat is staring at me, And in that one moment of time, I will be full of death can't be. Yeah, Jeff's shook. Oh, yeah, I saw you still taste these breath. Are you heard anywhere, Jeff? My pride, mainly. My heart.

I feel like a real dumbass doing this show season after season. The boy is laughing at me at the bar. Jeff, tell us what happened, dude. I was looking at that. That big tree. Oh, my heart was looking at dirty.com. I was looking at that big tree. Why are you looking at trees?

It's the fucking forest in the middle of the night. You're looking for the death cat. But you're worried about the fact that there's trees in the forest. On this tree. There's claw marks all the way to the top. I kept telling you. Hey, God. This dude's hiding on a truck. Oh, now it's my fault you're tasting the breath of the death cat. Get over here.

It... I thought it was gonna die die, but I don't mean the damn it. Instead it just came down and kicked that close. It didn't laugh. It stared me in the eye and it said, I love the show. Big fans.

Twitter. fans. Twitter hashtag fangle to thugger sliding to my DMs. It was going to come down. I thought that was the end right there. I really did. Man, his fangs must be that long. We got separated We don't say down 70 and over that GD up and down the deep ditch I'm not sure everyone's yelling But the louder we get the more ratings we have Though we've taken to a screaming only policy Following in the footsteps of the commercial break podcast. Every rottled top of him so close he could smell its breath. I know you worked up and I know you're upset.

Past that. You're here. You're with us. You're fine man. Now I need you to go back out there. Roll around and that can't be. Get to the middle of the woods with the thermals and get us an image. He's just my head.

I know, my head ain't. I don't understand why you guys walked up. I was talking to you. You were right there beside me. I was telling you, look up the tree. Why did you leave me? Well, everybody agreed to split off. Well, no one really likes you, Jeff. Everyone agreed to split off. Well, no one really likes Jeff.

Everyone agreed to split off. I mean, in the show, you're the expendable one. So it's like we have fun at your expense. And that's why you get paid $13 an hour. Pist off, batter. I think the best thing we can do is get Jeff out of these woods. Come on, huh? And try to talk to him in the morning. I could have ended really, really bad.

That's what I say to a lot of the girls that I date. I'm like the best thing we can do is get you home and then we can talk about this in the morning. I could end it really, really bad. Oh. I mean, it's classic. really bad. Oh. Oh. Whoa. I mean, it's classic. It's so classic. It's just so good.

It's just so, so good. It's so much fun. I love it. I love it. Fuck, butch struck. That's the name of this episode. Fuck, butch struck. Well, Chrissy, it's been another fun-filled,

fact-filled episode of the commercial break. Guess that has more. What more could anyone ask for? I don't think anything else. How much more can, how much more comedy can you fit into one 60-minute period? Each your heart out, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle. Oh, yeah. There are.

There are two or together, but we would sell out similar sized venues. We got thermals. We got thermals are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are.

There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are.

There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. with our thermals on. Get the thermal! Get the thermal! Pretty soon, we'll be staying at the Disney Galactic Hotel to be cheaper than this place. I'm going to need this room for the new kid pretty soon.

That's right. Here's what you do. You go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, and let us know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or the contact us button, and let us know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas most importantly, send them to us, we would love to hear them if we use the idea, we will credit you, I promise. Nice.

We can't even get to our own ideas, so you know, probably less likely that you're going to get to your idea, but we do love it when people send in content ideas, tell us your story, tell us all about you. Share fun facts. You don't have to use your real name. That's okay. We don't mind. I don't care. I have to shit on here.

It's made up anyway. So, make something up. Right us. Yeah. So, tcbpodcast.com. You can also watch all the video and listen to all the audio. Brand new tcbpodcast.com coming, Chrissy. And it's a beautiful.

It looks good. From what I've seen so far. Well worth the $800,000 we're paying for it. So, what? What? We'll talk about that in our thermal business meeting. Yeah. Ha, ha. One, eight, five, five, T-C-B-A-3-A-3, eight, five, five, T-C-B-A-3-A-3,

Texas. Leave us a voice mail. We will get back to you. It's not a spam text message line. We will never spam you. Don't worry, we don't have enough money to do that. So okay. Oh YouTube.com slash the commercial break full episodes a couple days after the air Chrissy, I think that's all I can do today. I think so. I love you. I love you Best of you and best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time. We always say we do say and we must say Bye And we must say goodbye!I'm a... you