The Commercial Break - Neighing In Her Yam Yam

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

TCB listener Tyler writes in to ask for advice on a love triangle he has found himself involved with. his boyfriend doesn't know that he has been sleeping with the Homecoming Queen! And we didn't know that Krissy WAS a Homecoming Queen! All is revealed on this episode of TCB. A robot broke the fingers of a child chess player in Russia Strip clubs come in all shapes and sizes and so do strippers Bachelor parties are wild! Should the groom get one last hurrah? Male strip clubs fascinate Bryan Tyler writes in to discuss his first sexual experience with a woman. He is gay. He has questions. TCB answers. Get $200 in bets when you spend $5 with the code TCB LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or hate mail by texting us or leaving a voicemail at 1-661-Best-2-Yo (1.661.237.8296) Watch Us on YouTube All Sponsor Codes & Links Take a Listen to The Jordan Harbinger show! Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! Get CALM Premium. 40% Off! Click Here Download or Visit Credit Karma to use their Credit Card Matching tool! Special Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Tina Rose Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Gustavo New Episodes on Monday, Wednesday and now Fridays everywhere you listen to podcasts! 1-(661)-BEST-2-YO  | (1-661-237-8296) ***DrafKings Ad Disclaimer*** If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For Western fashions here in Reno, you really can't beat Zopatorela by Lorena. On this episode of the commercial break, the men's side had a certain vibe to it. It wasn't very chippendales. Yeah, very chippendales. It was a lot of penises flying around it. Let's be honest, there was a lot of penises over there. And then the women's side was always very crowded. And the men's side was sparsely

It was sparsely visited We get back to my house and we are twisted like a paper bed. She starts going down on me. I Loved it. I have never had head like this ever. She was a true pro. No teeth. No loopty loose No bobbing for apple bags just good clean American blowing and going Wow No bobbing for apple bags, just good clean American blowin' and goin' Wow What a fucktiner I appreciate Tyler writing in I love it, honestly I think we just gave him the advice he can probably use Watch it's gonna, that whole thing's gonna blow up

Keep us posted Tyler Yeah, please do keep us posted That's the one thing that, you know, everybody writes these stories And then they never write back to me when we have the questions How it happened? Yeah, I feel like they get a little nervous. Either that or like most listeners, they only listen to one episode,

wrote in and they never listened to good. The next episode of the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, Kristen Joy. Holy best of you, crazy. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this The commercial break. It's not for everyone, but fact news or fiction is guaranteed in 30 seconds or less or your money back Go to the brand new TCBbatkess.com to collect your winning

Yeah, hey, good morning. Good morning to you. the brand new TCB Bad Kest.com to collect your winning. Yeah. Hey, good morning. Good morning to you. We don't do this often, but sometimes we get in the studio in the morning. And it takes our brains just a little bit. The gears. Yes.

So now we're on our fourth time starting the show. We're a little bit slower. I'm like, well, good. I like that Somalis. You like that taco? That's a lot. And today is Taco Tuesday. Oh, is it really? Oh's but it's always taco Tuesday

Who has tacos on taco Tuesday? I think that we do I think it's for 20 year olds. Oh you do do you really every Tuesday? No I just the good reason I have to talk. I was sure why not yeah, I wanted to bring up a story that You know there's like people that play chess. Oh, yeah, there's lots of people play chess That's not the point of the story. Did you know? Did you know people play chess? But there are people who play chess against computers. Yes, and so there's a kid. I think in Russia or maybe it's China I can't remember the exact details of the story and you don't come here for exactly the tales of any story Or maybe it's China, I can't remember the exact details of the story. And you don't come here for exact details of any story.

No. But the kid is playing a robot, a robot of chess robot, an actual physical robot that's got AI, and this robot is really good, and everyone wants to beat him. And there's this kid who has on occasion beat this particular robot. And in a rematch, I think there's like an IBM robot too. And in a robot, in a rematch, the kid is taking just a little bit too long to make his next move. And he's got his hand out, and he's like thinking

about the next move, you know? So this is going on for like, I don't know how long. It's in the, you know, there's a video of it. You can't really tell, but let's just say a minute, it's going on. The kid's got his hand over a couple of different pieces and he's trying to figure out. And the robot reaches over and breaks the kid's finger.

That's right. Did you see that? I heard that. I read about that. I don't believe a little. Robot got and breaks the kid's finger. That's right. Did you see that? I heard that. Yes. I read about that. Unbelievable. Robot got pissed because the kid was taken to the night.

I know. I will now destroy your hand. Don't touch. Why? Yeah. So whoever made the robot is like, you know, the robot got confused. It wasn't Russia. It wasn't Russia.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, the fucking Russian robots. They're just, they don't make them like that here in America. They'll be careful too. Those Boston dynamic robots are fucking scary. Have you seen those things? The things that run around and knock down walls and point guns at people and it's all kind of insanity.

It really is. There's a pretty famous video out there of one of these dynamic robots. And one's a kind of stand up that look like soldiers almost. Okay. And it's running around and it's got this gun. And it'll, it like shoots the target and then it points to a human being and then it pulls the gun away. And then it goes and it shoots a target and it points at another human being. There's the human being that's the test for that.

Okay, so like when you watch the video, I know, like, kind of moron puts themselves in front of you. You know, this is just a bad sci-fi movie waiting to happen Like of course you're gonna get shot But there's this whole video and it's in correct looks incredibly real And so people will run at the robot and the robot will like push it down right and then the personal get back up and the robot I'll push it back down. It's this is so like it's in herminating world exactly. It's this insane video It's been going around the internet for a while now. And a lot of people believe it's real. It's not real.

It's CGI. Good to know, right? That there's no morons putting themselves in front of real bullets with a robot. But this robot just kicks so much fucking ass. And the thing is, is that I think that Boston Dynamic robots are getting pretty close to being able to do this kind of actual stuff.

And that scares the holy fucking shit out of me. Yeah. It's been a kid break in his finger and these Boston dynamic videos that are going on there. I'm a little nervous about the future. Like, what's my son going to run up against, right? Yeah. Are there going to be robots? Robocop.

Yeah, they just run around and break your fingers. Like, you know, don't spray graffiti, broken hand. You know? Yeah, let me ask you this question to do you think there's robots in the metaverse? There are robots in the metaverse. I've seen them. They look like centaur There's everything in the metaverse. I'm telling you there's a whole fucking thing going on in the metaverse Is anybody written into us to tell us? No one said a fucking thing about the meta

They don't know either because Because even though we're there, we're a millions of people in the metaverse, none of our listeners are there. All right, we need to forge the path. I think it's these young, like kids a lot cooler than us. Like we're just not cool enough to be in the metaverse. I'm telling you, I went to the island and I got exiles.

Well, we're used to just living the regular life. We're not used to going into the... My real life is not miserable enough yet. Exactly. To take me into the second life. Yes. But if it gets there, I'm not afraid to go into the second life

and find me a little hottie and settle down and have a couple of meta children. I want to be like a meta club owner. Is it what I want? I want to be like a meta bar owner club. No, I think that's a little misogynistic. I mean, sex work is work, I guess, if you want to be a good guy for men and women, you know, there's to be that place here in Atlanta. I don't know if it's still there. They shut it down. Yeah. I don't think that I don't think those people say these things like the

penises flying around. Did you really? Yeah. Like, you went to the room on the right side, had women and the other side had men. So it was cool because you could, anybody could go there. You know, the men side had a certain vibe to it. It wasn't. Very chippendales. Yeah, very chippendales. That makes sense.

There's a lot of penises flying around in it. Let's be honest, there's a lot of penises over there. And then the women's side was always very crowded. And the men's side was sparsely. Right. It was sparsely visited because let's be honest. I don't think, you know, there's that famous strip club here in Atlanta. What's it called?

Swinging Richards. Yeah. Swinging Richards. They closed. They closed swinging Richards. They did after a long time. Did they really? Wow.

That place was an institution. Yeah. I mean, even I went to swing in Richards. Like he was going to go to swing in Richards. Is it interesting to you as a woman to see all of those swing and dicks or is it? It's more of a novelty time thing. Yeah, like there's a penis Yeah, I know I mean it was more of a novelty type thing like everybody's drink it. Let's get a swing in Richards When you went to the it's fun when you went to the strip club I know, I mean, it was more of a novelty type thing. Like, everybody's drinking, let's get a swing at Richard. When you went to the...

It was fun. When you went to the strip club, what did the guys grind up on women with their naked penises? No. No, they were just on the stage. Okay, so once the... It was like a runway type thing.

Yeah. So once the little thing came off or whatever it is, the man... They didn't always. It wasn't always like just full blown naked man. Oh, so a lot of times, you was just, they had a little speedo type thing. Yeah.

And yeah, they plump themselves up before they go out there. I think so. Does it look like they have big penises when you? It does. It looks like the, I think you want to show your best self. Do you think you have to have a,

what's up? When you go to get hired at a, at a strip, I had a friend by the way, who was a male stripper. Uh-huh. When you go to get hired at a strip? I had a friend by the way who was a male stripper. Uh-huh. When you go to get hired at a male strip club. You should know all about this then. Well, I didn't ask the guy. It wasn't like we were sitting around having conversations about his cock.

Oh. Tell me about your cock, man. What do you do? He made a shit ton of money though. Oh, yeah. He made a shit ton of money. Yeah. When you are a male stripper and you're going to apply for a job,

do you believe that you have to show the goods in order to get that position? Yeah, I think so. Do you? Do you think when you're a female stripper? They do like some kind of a little audition. How do you dance? Yeah.

And then do you think there's a size requirement? I've done honestly curious about this. I don't think there's a size requirement. I think it's probably just about your personality and how you interact with people and are you truly comfortable doing this. Yeah, that's not about your size. It's about your personality.

Well, I mean, there's something for everyone. I went to, when I was like 20 years old, I went to a bachelor party. In this bachelor party, it was out of fucking control. It was like the years old. I went to a bachelor party. And this bachelor party was out of fucking control. That was like the movie bachelor party. Oh, it was way, way crazier in the movie. Is there a donkey involved? There was three women who showed up, right?

So we get to this bachelor party, it's packed. Like it's in a house and it's packed. And you know, there's got like a screened in porch and everybody's out there smoking cigarettes and doing blow and you know, joins our party. Party. It's a party party. In a couple hours after we got there the women showed up the strippers the dancers showed up and the performance that these ladies put on was so ex-rated to my mind this is like

seared in my fucking head and what really shook me to the core at 20 years old, right? Because I had never really experienced anything like this. I was only 20. I had certainly been to strip clubs. I dated a stripper, but I was 20 years old, right? But I had never seen anything like this. There were vibrators involved in whips and chains and anal beads. It was a whole thing.

Yeah, it was like nothing was left on the table. Everything was there. They gave the groom a blow job in front of everyone else in the room. That's pretty wild. It was wild. And then afterwards, I remember because the reason I got invited, remember when I lived on that back screened in porch for a while?

Okay. The guy who actually was the guy who had the apartment, the one who should have been living there, instead of the other 15 people living on the screen didn't porch. He was the one who invited us to the party, and he was the best man. And I will never forget that after this whole thing went down, the girls were kind of mulling around, you know,

like looking for the next- Next taker? Yeah, looking for the next taker, that's exactly right. And the guy that I was there with, paid three, all three of the girls to go in a room with the groom Yeah, it was the wildest fucking thing I'd ever seen. Yeah, that's that's why That is why one of those people are still married No, of course they're not no. I think there's a I think there's a high likelihood that

Divorce is on the horizon if you decide to have sex with someone days before your wedding What and what is the. What is that? Why? What is that? Oh, it's your last night. It's your last night. It's your last night. But you wanted to be with a stripper?

Yeah, under what premise. I mean, listen, and this is not the last, this was, this was the first time I'd ever seen anything like this. But it wasn't the last time I'd been to a bachelor party where dancers got involved with the groom before or after all the activities. But I never bought into the premise that you needed to sleep with someone days before you got married to someone.

It seemed like so antithetical to the idea of marriage. I'm this close to committing to someone for the rest of my life. Yeah, I'm supposedly in love with. Yeah, I'm looking to put my cock into a random vagina. Like it just seemed like a scene right. But there are so many guys who buy into this philosophy. And I don't know one of them that's still married. Not one of them.

If I think back upon all the wild bachelor parties I've been to, none of them are still married. And to think about it, I actually had a pretty wild bachelor party and I was divorced too. So for this. I think it may be it's a younger thing, I agree, a younger and immature thing to do. Yeah, I'm not, I think there's, I think it's, it was way more prevalent before too. I mean, the more that stuff that I hear

about or, you know, people going and doing just fun weekends somewhere with their friends, not necessarily going completely. That's their party my first bachelor party, was fucking bananas. We got a place in Hilton Head of condo and Hilton Head, and it was just nutty. I didn't even want to get into it. It was nutty, right? It wasn't that nutty. It wasn't like anal beads and blow jobs nutty. Yeah. But it was pretty crazy, and we managed to find dancers on Hilton Head, and it just got, and they stayed with us

for like 12 hours. I mean, it was a it was a long, long night. Bachelor party number two literally went to dinner at seven o'clock and I was in bed by 9.30. That's their party number two. I had people at the table at dinner that I didn't even know. I was how boring this was. It was like, hey, I invited one of my friends friends because you're pretty boring now. I had a glass of wine and I was like, well, I'm tired of going home. I think it was more appropriate than the first one. But yeah, I don't think if you buy into the idea

that you can just sleep with someone randomly before you're married. No, it's not okay throughout the relationship leading up to the marriage. I mean, unless you're out in the liar and you're polyam No, it's not okay throughout the relationship leading up to the marriage. I mean, unless you're out in the liar and you're, you know, polyamorous, not by choice. Yeah. Yeah.

A whole other animal. I just, yeah, I just, I'm polyamorous. Do, do, I'm polyamorous. Why? Because my girlfriend cheated on me. That's why. You know that's what happened.

Exactly. You know that's what happened. She found another guy that she liked more. And he said, you know what to break up with? No, we don't have to break up with him. We're polyamorous now. Yeah, which means you sleep with whoever you want to. I'll cry in the corner and we'll tell my friends

we're polyamorous. Do you know of any women that subscribe to that same, it's a little bit different with women. Yeah. I have to think. And I guess it depends you know you're gay, you're straight or whatever you're into, but do you know any women who you think would buy into that philosophy? No, I don't personally. No, I don't personally know. Oh, you don't know anybody. No. No, I mean, I have been to bachelor at parties before with

the strippers and that kind of thing, but there was no, like, real sex going on. It was a show. Yeah, do the strippers get boners? Do you remember? Yeah. They do? I mean, it seemed like it. Oh, wow, okay.

All right. I think it would be hard not to. I can remember. I think I can remember. I mean, you think you they would have to. Like, you think it would be one of those things that was perfectly normal about a stripper coming over and grinding all over everybody.

He's gonna, you know, he's gonna be a rouse. Yeah either that or there's also meds and shots Those porn stars to take those shots as wild. That's fucking wild Injecting something straight into your penis to keep hard for six to seven hours. That seems dangerous to me That seems really but I guess when you're a porn star you need your equipment to work It's part of your money maker. Yeah, and I gotta imagine after a while of being like a porn star and just, or a stripper or whatever, eventually,

you're just so desensitized to all of it. It's like, it's really hard to get excited about anything. It's like another vagina, another pair of boobs, another dick, like, you know, you just don't get all that excited about it anymore. I have no idea how we got started on this line of conversation after I talked about a robot breaking a Russian kids hands welcome to another episode of this book I don't know but it was interesting better for a minute

Chrissy yes I got the wildest text message last night on the 6612372 the 661 best to yo Hotline I love the people that write into that they are fantastic now I had a little think on whether or not I should actually you know tell this story But I figure I want you to know this is about a kid in high school But he claims to be 18 years old He speaks like an adult and I don't think there's anything in here that's too, that would be like divulging any kind of information about, you know,

someone in high school. Is it about a shirt club party? It gets a little wild here for a minute, so I'll just, let me tell the story. Okay, please. Please, please, please, tell the story. Please, please, please, tell the story. Please, please, please, please, please,

please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please This is an Ask TCB. And it comes from a guy named Tyler. Okay, we're gonna call him Tyler anyway. That's what we're gonna call him. Brian and Chrissy, I have a situation unfolding in my personal life. And I'd like your help.

Well, thanks Tyler, thanks for calling it. I don't know why in the world you would think that Chrissy or I would be the people to help you with this. Anything? Old advertising executive. Yeah, it's too old advertising executive. Talking about erect stripper penis at 11 in the morning, but you know, whatever, we'll roll with it. Yeah, let's do it.

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We know our sponsors would too. We'll be right back with this episode of the commercial break. Hey all my T.C football fans, the first Sunday of the NFL season is here and Draft King sports book and official sports betting partner of the NFL is giving new customers a can't miss offer to celebrate the return of the NFL season. Right now new customers can bet just $5 and get $200 in free bets instantly. Let me repeat that. Spend $5 and get $200 in free bets instantly. As an added bonus for week one, everyone can experience the thrill of DraftKings early

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That's code TCB only at Draftraft King Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. One more time, $200 in free bets instantly, when you place a $5 bet this Sunday, use the Code TCB. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions do apply. See our show notes for additional details. I'm 18 years old and I'm about to start my senior year in high school. I identify as gay and I have for a few years, but only my family and my best friends know this. My family has been super supportive since the beginning, but I have never felt that my sexuality is anybody else's business but my own.

Fair enough, I'm with you. You don't want to divulge, don't, you know, I don't run around saying I'm straight. Right. Yeah, I don't go. Hey, not Brian Green, straight, nice to meet you. That's so good. There are many other LGBTQ classmates,

but I don't feel like I want to be in a click. That's what it seems to be at this particular school. I attend, okay, fair enough. I'm in the drama club. I like theater. And this year I will, I know I will get the lead role as the love interest in high school, the musical. Oh, okay.

I've never seen high school musicals. So, okay. That's great. There's a love interest. What is the story? I'm not. Two kids dancing, saying. Is that,

It's about a high school musical. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. The girl playing the other lead role is basically the class queen. She has been homecoming queen two years in a row. Do you get homecoming queen as a sophomore? Yeah. Okay.

I was. How many years were you? It's a homecoming queen. Two years in a row, sophomore and junior. Yeah. Were you really? I didn't know that. I had no idea.

I was in the presence of royalty. Do you get a lot of them? You're dead voted. Oh really? And so you walk up and you do the whole thing. My dad walked me the big high school dance. Yeah. Well, yeah. And it was, uh, man, I bet the guys went crazy. They go crazy over you. Were you a little, were you sought after? Did you put on a broke and walk around? Brog! Chrissy said the word broke the other day.

It's the hardest broke, it's a thing. Good for you, I had no idea your homecoin queen queen two years in a row. I think I remember you saying you were the homecoming queen, but I had no idea it was two years in a row. Everybody bowed down to Chrissy. The, the girl playing the other lead in the roles at Homecoming Queen, two years in a row, and everybody loves her. Plus, she's super hot. Her name will call her is Carly.

Over the summer, I spent a lot of time with Carly. We went on walks, we shop together, we went and had coffee, and we heard out of the lake. They're besties. I love it. She has no idea that I am gay. So this is not, I guess, one of his best friends. But she does maybe have an inkling. Let's wait to, let's reserve judgment on this one. Okay. We even went out and partied together a few nights during summer. One night we got super rolled

out on Molly and went back to my house after the party. I don't know what came over me, but I got tonally horned up for some vagina. Something I have never had interest in. Just the thought of it makes my stomach do jumping jacks and the smell of it. Oh my god, that smell. I don't know how you straight guys do it, honestly. Oh my god. All right, settle down, Tyler. Is each the own?

Yes. Anyway, we get back to my house and we are twisted like a paper bag. She starts going down on me. I loved it. I have never had head like this. Ever. She was a true pro. No teeth, no loopty loose, no bobbing for apple bags, just good clean American blowing

and going. Wow. What a fuck Tyler. You know too much too young buddy I just all of the sudden wanted to return the favor then just all of the sudden I wanted to return the favor right I don't know what came over me she had her shirt off tests were perfect so I pulled down her pants and I went where no McMahon should ever go into a vulva I had no idea what I was doing. I was all over the place.

I had never seen a vagina up close, let alone Ben in one. I tried to remember where all the buttons were from sexual education, but I was clueless and clubbed out. So I just shook my head back and forth with my tongue sticking out. I know she didn't like it. She couldn't have.

Who wants a horse, nang in their yam yam haha haha haha this kid is funny haha haha haha who wants a horse dang in their game

haha he's kind of visible with that haha haha yeah haha that's a good one anyway i stayed hard long enough to have really pathetic teenage sex

and we both crashed after a smoke and a joint. The next morning, she was like a puppy dog. Oh, Tyler, I'm so glad we broke the ice. Oh, Tyler, I've had a crush on you all summer. Oh, Tyler, that's the best sex I've ever had. Well, she must not have had that much sex because I am a chubby chaser who prefers hair on a man's back more than I prefer landing strip on a pussy. She also mentioned that some people in school might have thought I was gay.

I instead of telling her in that moment, I let it pass like a wet. Some people meant her. Some people meant her. Of course it did. Yeah, that's what you say. You know, Ryan, I've been hearing some people think you're an idiot. Not me. Not me.

It's not me. I don't think that. I hear the commercial break is an awful comedy podcast. I'm not coming for my mom. I was coming for some other people in the air. I think you're great. Everything's great. I love your show. I let the moment pass like a wet fart.

I am such an idiot. I should have just told her that. Whatever, I finally got her out of my house and I was mortified. My parents saw us in the kitchen. My parents had seen us in the kitchen and my dad looked at me like I had three penises. He knew better than to say anything out loud,

but I could tell. The three penises is, I mean good or bad? No, I think that means bad. I'm weird. I'm weird. Yeah, like, you know, your dad is like, what's going on? He says, I could tell that he knew we had hooked up.

Right, because they knew. They knew, of course. Yeah, so they're like, what do you do and do? Yeah, right. What's going on? Maybe not. Listen, it's 2032. You can, of course you can.

Yeah, but I mean, if you say your gay and like, you know, all your interest is on boys and then one day you're sleeping with girls. Sometimes you gotta just test the other water. I don't really see this as that big of a deal to be used with you. I mean, maybe he should have told her that I prefer men, you know, you don't want somebody getting a crush on you, but I guess we'll get to that in the next part of

the story. I could tell he knew that we had hooked up. And when she left, my mom was like a detective in one of those bad man moves. She had to know what happened. And I was so embarrassed to tell her. And I regretted every minute of the night before. I just played a cool for the last couple of of the summer vacation and we were never in a place to hook up again, thank God.

Okay, all right Tyler, all right. But now we have this school play coming up and I know there's going to be lots of practice and rehearsal. She's gonna wanna spend time going over lines and I'm like bad armpit-sweating just thinking about it. I really need to tell her, but I know she's going to be crushed and I don't want the whole

school in my business. I also know that if I tell her she's going to be upset and tell other people. Yeah, and she might even think that you that she was so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, now you're gay. Yeah. Man, that smelled so bad. I'm gay. Come on.

You don't smell that bad, Tyler. I don't, I like the smell personally. Last year, I met a boy from another school. He wants to come see my play. And I know, he'll know I have been eating her pussy. We just know these kind of things by looking at another game and guilty of such atrocities. I love your show. I know you generally give bad advice, but what do I do? I am tempted to homeschool just kidding. I would never homeschool. Thanks to you. Thanks for your help. Love to

you both. Chrissy, you're my hero. Brian, I have a celebrity crush on you. Oh, so if you ever want to try something new, just let me know. I love it. Kidding, Astrid sounds lovely. Best of you. Okay, Tyler, let's dissect here for a second. Yeah, yeah, let's talk about it. I have no idea what it's like to be at 18-year-old gay teenager. So you've just got to preface that. And I don't think Chrissy does either. No.

That she was homecoming Queen. It's two years to the road. Yeah. I, uh, I understand you. There's nothing wrong with experimentation. And first of all, let me just say, beware of drugs. They will make you do things. Drugs will make you do anything.

Yeah, depending on the drug. That's right. It'll make you do things you wouldn't normally do. You get on that money. There's that. Yeah, you get on that money. Shit starts getting twisted. Yeah.

And you're only 18 years old. There's nothing wrong with experimentation. No, I don't think there's anything wrong with experimentation. No, I don't think there's anything wrong with experimentation with the drugs or with the sex. Now, be cautious about the drugs, of course. Yes. And be cautious about the sex I sometimes do. Yeah, yeah, the last thing you want to do is get someone pregnant

and you want it and then you have to be at least around a woman for the rest of your life. Yeah, just do that in the metaverse. Yeah, it sounds like you guys were friends and you just crossed the line and you know, that's happened to me lots of times. I've never been it was curious. Yeah, you know, that's happened a few lots of times. I'm curious. I've never thought it was curious.

Yeah. I don't think there's anything wrong with what happened. But I do think you're in a finicky position now because you must explain to this woman that. Must you? I mean, unless it's something being brought up, did he say that? I can't remember.

He's saying the cheese. He's just nerve. I think sometimes people too in your head Yeah, you know, you get you can get your own head. Yeah, and what is that person now? And what is this person? Think and get it. I get it. You know, and you start just getting really anxious about what other people are thinking and maybe they're not even thinking So what does he do? He just tells her that he's not interested trying to be his girlfriend I think that's kind of the gist of the story, but I don't know, it doesn't go like color it in like that. Yeah.

But he does say that after they had sex, but you got to remember Tyler also is that when you're a teenager, everything seems fucking important. Yes. And nothing really is, right? Maggified. Yeah, it's all magnified. So if she's giving you this whole lovey-dovey speech after you guys had sex, that's because she wants to connect with you on some level and soothe herself and make sure that it's okay for her.

So we all kind of do this, even as a... You do. Wait, myself confidence is like zero minus negative two. And so even when I have sex with my own wife the next morning, I'm like, was that good for you? How was that? I mean, love with you so much. I mean, this is just like, like, baby's love talk, right?

It's something that you say to people to confirm that whatever happened the night before was okay. Indeed. Lizzie worried too about the, the other boy that he knows. He's worried about the other boy that he knows. No, he thinks that's, this guy is going to pick it out. He's going to understand that the two of them. And maybe he's right. Maybe like she's just going to fawn over this, over Tyler and you know, that high school music who could turn into a porn real quick and all the sudden

they're following their bank. Everybody's getting ready to go to college. So. So you only got one more year to lie and then you'll be good. You don't have to like really address anything unless she addresses it. You know, if she's very pushing about wanting it, I would say, hey, let's have a little chat. I don't, I'm actually, I've been thinking that I'm more of this way, but I love you.

I love you. I love you right then, in that moment. I had the friend and that crossed over into more than friends, but I the friends, I do. I have the friends, I do. And that crossed over into, you know, more than friends, but, you know, I'm still figuring things out. I think you could, I think you could be honest and say that and still be truthful, but I'm taking a little bit of a different angle on this. Just my opinion. I think that your sexuality is no one else's business until you start getting sexual

with someone else. And so my opinion is, is that there may be a way to convey to this to Carly that this is just not your thing, right? That's what I'm saying, yeah. And you don't have to like, you don't have to get like pour your heart out to or you just have to explain to her that, hey, listen, whatever happened the other night,

it's not usually something that I do. Right. Because I kind of find myself attracted to balls. It was really fun and it was really beautiful in the moment do because I kind of find myself attracted to balls. It was really fun and it was really beautiful in the moment, but that's not really my thing. It was fun and beautiful in the moment, but I prefer balls. There's got to be a way to say this.

And listen, I understand the position that you're in too, is that you don't want this whole, you don't want to get painted into a corner and it becomes a big ordeal. So I would address it head on as quickly as possible, deal with a little bit of the fall out. You tell your guy, friend, if it comes to it, you tell your boyfriend, you say, hey, listen, man, I got wild one night. Experimented. We're teenagers.

I was experimenting. I had a heart on. I got off. It was a lovely event. I don't take it, you know, I didn't think you should regret anything about this. Yeah. I mean, you know, there's nothing wrong with a little pussy every once in a while.

We all need it. We all came out of one. We can all go back into one. It's okay, buddy. Don't worry about it. He tried it. Was it for him? Wasn't for him.

Valley knows. Now you know for sure, I would venture to say that you'll probably not make that mistake twice, right? If that's not what you're into. And even if you decide to go back to the well on this one, I'm proud of you, Tyler. I'm proud of you. You got fucked up.

And you slept with someone you didn't want to. That's a sign of becoming a man, my friend. All of us have gotten drunk and slept with someone we didn't want to. I think so. Yes. Probably everybody who's ever slept with me has said, I got drunk and slept with someone I didn't want to. Brian, great.

There is not a thing to be embarrassed about here, my friend, but I do think that the further away you run, the quicker this will catch up with you. And I think you need to address it one to two ways. You can take Chrissy's way and just say, hey listen, we're friends, I want to stay friendly. What we did was beautiful and wonderful and all that, but I don't want to take it to the next level, right? Yeah. It's going to be hurtful either way.

If she's really that into you, it's going to be hurtful either way. It might be a relief. You never know. Maybe she thought it was some mistake too and she was just baby talking you after you guys had sex. Or you tell her, Hey, listen, this is normally not my thing. Like, you know, I happen to be into guys.

Everybody, you know, the other people in school are right. All right. I happen to be into school, but I would appreciate it if, you know, you could keep that between you and at least 60 other people. Yeah, that's nothing. It has nothing to do with you.

Yeah. It's just, you know, we get caught up in a moment and it happens. Tyler, I get the sense that you're a lot like me me and that is that high school is a fucking waste of time. You don't want to be there any more than you have to, except for this drama club, which mine was banned, you know, or go there and see my friends. This is all going to be so fucking unimportant in a year. It really is. Not even going to remember this moment. You might remember it and you'll think it's hilarious.

And so will everybody else who hears the story. It's great, right? You had that one time with that one girl. And it sounds like, at least for part of the experience, you were really enjoying it. Two years from now, I guarantee this is gonna be a blip on the radar. It really is.

No one is gonna fucking care. I understand that wanting to be a part of a big click of other LGBTQ people, that's fine. You don't have to be their friends. Like that's, I don't think to be a part of a big click of other, you know, LGBTQ people, that's fine. You don't have to be their friends. Like, that's, I don't think that's a prerequisite of what's going on here. So, don't even fucking worry about this. Even if it blows up into a big drama

and everybody was talking about how he's going to escape and he slept with, you know, the homecoming queen, who fucking cares? Where are that like a badge of honor? Yeah, I bone to the homecoming queen. All you straight guys couldn't, that's it. Where are like a badge of honor. Yeah, I boned the homecoming queen. All you straight guys couldn't. That's it. There's a pair like a badge of honor, dude. Walk around and say, all you fuckers are so horrible. I only the gay guy in school could sleep with the homecoming queen and I would call it a day

because a year from now, my friend, you are going to be out in the world and it's not even gonna fucking have. I appreciate Tyler writing in. I love it. Honestly, I think we just gave him the advice he can probably use. Watch it. Keep us posted, Tyler. Yeah, please do keep us posted. That's the one thing that, you know, everybody writes these stories and then they never write back to me when we have the questions. Yeah, I feel like they get a little nervous. Either that or like most listeners, they only listen to one episode, wrote in and then never listened to God. And that, that is okay. Or do our Tyler's located, did he say that? No, he did.

Sometimes there's different parts of the country can be different ways too. Well, that's true. Well, I mean, if there's other, out, well, I mean, yeah, like if you're in Southern Mississippi, it's a lot different than if you're in New York City. Exactly. If you're in California, it's a lot different than if you're in New York City. Exactly. If you're in California, it's a lot different than if you're in Arkansas.

Arkansas or something like that. Right, there are certainly regional, there are regional, I guess, perclivities. And I can understand if you're in one of those more conservative type communities, how maybe you really don't want it to get out there, but I don't get the sense that that's Tyler. I don't think Tyler's worried about that.

His friends, his family know, his best friends, his family know. I think he's just being honest when he says I don't want to be known as the gay guy in school, right? Not that I care if anybody knows I'm gay. I just don't want to be the gay guy in school or the gay guy in the click. I want to tell you a story, Tyler.

I think this might help easier, easier mind. When I was 20 years old, oh, let Uncle Brian ease your mind. When I was 20 years old, working at a restaurant, there was a gentleman who came into our lives. He was a tall, lanky guy. Came into our lives.

What? Days of our lives. You mean he was a customer? No, no, he was a fellow employee. Oh, okay. He was tall, he was lanky, he was handsome. Yeah. It's a little bit strange, but everybody who worked at that restaurant a little bit strange. I worked at the restaurant

He came into our lives and the other Queer people in the group identified him immediately as a gay person However, he was married so to a woman doesn't mean doesn't mean shit. Yeah, doesn't mean shit So to a woman doesn't mean doesn't mean shit. Yeah doesn't mean shit We got to know his wife and his wife was a beautiful beautiful woman and She was not working at the time. They had just moved in from a different state and so she didn't have a job yet Yeah, they were on the run From his gay past We broke up with his boyfriend and they had to get out of the town. So they lived in this apartment down the street from the restaurant that we worked at.

Over time, as I became friendly with this couple, the gentleman, let's call him Dave. Dave started working at the restaurant during the day, but he went to go work at a gay bar at night Okay, now this yeah more now we're even more curious about and maybe Dave maybe Dave was just curious. I'm not sure right But he would go and he would work until two three four five in the morning at this bar 24 hours 24 hours a day two days later. Yeah, he never still back. He never came back to the apartment. He went to the gay bar to work. He never came back.

We all waited. We waited a long time. This is what I'm saying, Tyler. I would go and hang out with his wife after I got off work at the request of day. Yeah, that's right. And keep my wife company. Keep my wife company.

We're new here. We're lonely We don't have many friends could you go and have a couple beers with her, you know make sure that you know Better to put in a wife no one better to In front of your wife, but Single Brian 20 year old single I might as well have had a professional divorce. I didn't mean to sleep with you. That's right.

You need a divorce. Brian Green is on the job. I didn't mean to sleep with your wife. It just happened many times over the course of many months. Anyway, the point of the story is that over a period of time, I started understanding that he was not asking me to hang out with his wife. He was asking me to hang out with his wife. He was asking me to buy his wife.

Occupy his wife so that she would be not focused on the fact that he was working at a gay bar and not coming home immediately after work Yes, right this got very strange like it took me a couple months to kind of catch on But I started to catch on and I started to catch feelings for his wife Yeah, because now we're spending a lot of time together. Right hang in that's right Yeah, I'm hanging at the apartment. She had cats and I definitely learned to cats So basically I was putting my my life in danger every time I went over there. Just the I got with her at the request of her husband, by the way.

Now most husbands, if you come, you know, you're new to the state and you got this wily coyote kind of guy running around the restaurant, you know, you being wily coyote, right? You normally wouldn't suggest that that particular guy show up at your apartment. He saw something. He saw something in me. He saw a straight man willing to sleep on his wife. You normally wouldn't suggest that that particular guy show up at your apartment while you're working. He saw something in me. He saw a straight man willing to sleep with his wife. That's what he saw. Up for the job. That's right. It's literally up for the job. Literally up. I never slept with his wife.

Okay. We never I never crossed that boundary. I felt like they were married and that was complete. Just it everything, but yeah, that's right. I might have had a few nights when I got a little wild, but you know, we never took it everything, but. Yeah, that's right. I might have been a few nights when I got a little while, but we never took it there necessarily all the way. Let's just point that out. After a period of time, I moved on, I moved on, everybody moved on. We're talking years and years and years later. I can't believe you guys didn't stay at that restaurant for you and get the gold wine. I tried but I got fired

I tried there's no turnover in right now. I got fired for handing liquor out the back to Oh my god, I didn't even buy it. I gave it to somebody for their birthday and it was the boyfriend of another girl Then I was sleeping I felt bad. It's a whole different story. Here you go, bro. Sorry about your girlfriend. And then he went and told the owner that I had handed in.

He got the truck. He was a trap. I was a trap. I bit. Anyway, the point of the first story. He might have deserved it. I definitely, I didn't know they were boyfriend, girlfriend, until someone told me.

Oh, okay. And then I swore her off. Yeah. But then I didn't know they were boyfriend girlfriend until someone told me. Oh, okay. And then I swore her off. Yeah. But then I didn't know. I was in the last day for so long. And the siren call. Yeah. The point is, this gentleman many years later come to find out that he is out, right?

And he shared a story on Facebook one time about how miserable his life was for so many years and how he strung this girl along. Like he had this real myocopa about how he felt so horrible, not only for himself, for not sharing that he's just saying the truth. And this is a little bit of a different, like this is a little bit more deep than I think what Tyler was talking about,, it's along the same vein. But he was more apologetic about the girl that he for many years strung along and kind of was just being a bad husband.

Married her. Yeah, he married her. He married her. That's more than stringing along. That's fucking intense, man. But you know, times are different now. And I do know what you're talking about, because I mean, there are many times over the course of my life have I met men and just known.

Yeah. And they're married. And they're married. Yeah, they're married. And that's their choice. And some people want to do that. Yeah. They want to try and convince themselves they're not, but Tyler seems like he's pretty.

No, Tyler's good with himself. Yeah, it seems like Tyler's good with himself. Seems like he just had one bad night. What I'm trying to say, Tyler, is yeah, don't make that blip turn into some, you know, big ordeal. Don't marry her. Tyler, just, yeah, don't marry her.

Unless she gets pregnant, then you're fucked. Yeah. I hope you live in one of the, never mind. I'm gonna say that. Yeah, Tyler. It's all good, my brother. Yeah. You had a little fuck up there. Yeah, a little slip up up. Yeah, but you're not like you got a good blowjob. Yeah.

Sounds like you got a good blowjob. Yeah. What did he say? No loop de loops. No bobbing for apple bags. No, no, no, no, no. We're here for you, Tyler. Bobbing for Applebags. No, take them all in the apples. Oh. We're here for you, Tyler. Tyler's probably just as confused as when he wrote the text.

I don't. He's probably like, what do those guys just tell me to do? I would say be honest. I would say be just teller. Just teller. It'll be all right, buddy. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Unless you don't have to tell, like, I mean, again.

Unless things just go away. Yeah, unless you just like, whatever, whatever, not just, you know. If you do, you're sure to somebody else. Yeah, introduce her to the other guy from the other school. Yeah. See if he saves the other two. And then now you got something really good going on.

Now you got the best of both world. You get that awesome blowjob, and you still get the ass you're looking for. You know what I'm saying? Tyler, we solved the problem. We did? Bollyamory. That's what you do. Adam the liar it's a channel on YouTube. You can probably give you better advice than we can I love it when people write in you need to write in six six one two three seven eight two nine six six six one

The word best the number two why oh yo, please send us a text message story and be available for follow up questions. That's all I got to say. Tyler, if you want to write back in, I mean, I got your phone number. I'll just text them. What am I saying? I'm like, it's awesome to do them for the microphone. He texted me.

I mean, he texted the hotline. You can also get a hold of us at tcbpodcast.com. You hit the contact us button. You can drop us an email. We'd love to hear any questions comments concerns our content ideas You might have send them in we love them and we often use them and we'll give you credit We're credit is do if we do and do it do indeed use your idea We're also doing TCB random TCB random is we're crispy and I take literally a topic just a word an idea of phrase

And we'll opine about it for five or ten minutes. It's true improv comedy, which neither Chrissie or I have been trained upon. So this should be a real shit show. But I love it. Send those ideas into the text message line. Don't you say, and then? Isn't that one of the things? Yeah, and then, that's right.

We'll have to maybe we'll get a little training on improv before we actually do that. Yes. We'll go down to the local improv shop. Say hey we have a number one comedy podcast. There's a place near me. Oh that's garage. Oh that's garage is good. Yeah those guys are cool.

Yeah those guys are cool. Absolutely. Love it. Alright so tcbpodcast.com at the commercial break on Instagram. youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's the important one because we put actual fresh content up there Unlike our Instagram that's been stuck in 2021 for a year We got to work on that maybe I'll just post like a happy new year

Once a year fair enough. I love you. I love you Best of you and best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time. We always say we do say and we must say ByeI feel the same wayI feel the same way I feel the same way I feel the same way you