The Commercial Break - Never Have We Ever...

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Bryan & Krissy sauce it up in the soon-to-be murphy bed sex room/studio and answer a complicated Ask TCB. Hoadley’s Naked Kitchen Let’s play a game! Never Have I Ever Naked Twister Bryan, stop humping the ground! Bryan’s gonna get kicked off the airlines The TCB studio could be a sex room A murphy bed in the studio? Ask TCB! Entering the dating scene…messsssy! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   626.ASK.TCB3 text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do you guys want? Let me get a frate motete and then let me get a trinta pinkity drinkity a trinta... a trinta pinkity dinky and a frate motete What the hell? a frate motete and a frinkity pinkity

What's that gonna be? A drink and a big cocktail, right? Frate motete On this episode of the commercial break. I don't think I've had sex with two people in the same day, but I've definitely been sexual with two people in the same day. Like two different occasions in the day. Yeah, one in the morning, one in the night.

Okay. You know, party in the woods kind of thing. Oh yeah, party in the woods. All you had to say was party in the woods. Yeah, you know party in the woods kind of thing Yeah, that's where I had a six all you had to say sweaty sweaty trailer my sweaty sweaty trailer with my jizzle drizzle The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy! Ah, yeah, guys, again. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Gray, and this is the director of Crap Services. Chris and Joey, only best of you, Chris and... Best of you, Brian.

And best of you out there in the podcast universe. Chrisie cooking up some food for the show, naked in the kitchen with Jeff. Jeff's dingle dangles hanging everywhere. It's dingled angles hanging everywhere. It's just part of the flavor. Savor the flavor of a little tank salt. Little dash of this, dash of that. A little dash of that, a little dish of that,

a little drizzle, a little drizzle. You know what I'm saying? Put a little drizzle drizzle on there. Nothing like goat cheese and beet salad with a little gizzle drizzle. Well, drizzle. It's a gem specialty. It's a sizzle drizzle. What does he do?

Like a gizzle drizzle reduction over there? Oh, olive oil and gizzle drizzle. Oh, olive oil and gizzle drizzle. Yeah. Oh, it sounds tasty actually. It sounds like something Rachel would cook. Yeah. Rachel's actually a really good cook.

Our friend Rachel. She's amazing. Wow, she's a really good cook. By the time she did the cheeseburger party. Yeah. Yeah. Rachel's actually a really good cook. Our friend Rachel. She's amazing. She's a really good cook. By the time she did the cheeseburger party. Yes. Do you remember that? Yes. And I was over there and helping out. It was so, so good.

Of course, we all threw it up 50 seconds later after we decided to go on a three day vendor. Got a good base going. Yeah, we had a good base going until we didn't. That was that. Hi, Rachel. Hi, Rachel. Hi, Bob. So you want to play a little game? Yeah, let's do it.

We're going to play one of those BuzzFeed trivia games. Oh, gosh, OK. All right. And it's 50 questions. Never have I ever sexually related. All right. But this really this goes from very lame to not so lame But I don't think any of this is particularly like crazy So we're gonna play it. I'm gonna press it as we go along. We'll get a score. You ready? Okay. We'll just do it together Okay, all right never have I mean like the first five questions are so stupid

You can tell this is geared toward the seventh and eighth graders never ever ever had a crush on somebody I have of course, right? 99% say yes never ever ever held someone's hand 99. There's 1% There's one vote one person actually there's 1,875 votes that said no they've never had a crush on somebody. That's kind of sad actually Like you should have a crush on somebody by the time you're in third grade. Yeah, it's a crush. It just means you're like super into somebody. You're interested. Yeah, it doesn't mean you're like the love of your life. It just means, you know, you know what it means. I do. Let me explain it to you. Alright, never have I or anybody in the audience

since their average age of listener is 68. Never have I ever held someone's hand. Of course. Of course. This is stupid. 4% held someone's hand. Of course. Of course, this is stupid. 4%, 5,247 people said they've never held somebody's hand. Well, again, that's sad. Were they born in 2020 during COVID? I mean, come on, this is crazy. Never ever, ever kissed someone on the cheek, of course. Yes.

6%, 7,534 votes say they have never kissed someone on the cheek. This is like sad, this is making me depressed now. I know exactly. I thought it was gonna be fun and now I'm all depressed about these people who've never had human contact. They're living in an Arctic circle, what's going on here?

Never have I ever kissed someone on the lips. Now I can start to understand where we're getting into, like we might be getting bigger numbers. Of course we have. I did once at my wedding, 9%, 10,000.6 said no. Never have I ever kissed someone with a tongue. I've met a few people in my life who actually do not like French kissing at all.

They don't want tongue at all. I actually dated a girl for a short period of time who just wasn't into it. So went in for the first kiss, right? And then naturally, you know, your mouth starts to open you do that thing that everyone does She did not so like licking her lips It was like I had a chap stick in my tongue or something. I was like wait personal preference Yeah, then she explained to me later that that was not her thing. She wasn't into it So let's see how many other people are not into it. 14,000.4 or 13% said, no, I've never kissed anybody

on the French kiss. The French way. The French way. Remember how it was such a big deal that was when we were like kids? Oh yeah, oh yes. How do you do it? When do you do it?

Yes. What's appropriate? And then the first couple of French kisses are basically you're licking somebody's face. Yeah. Ah, there's like a little flick of a tongue. And I have like a, ah, a thing with my tongue. A lot of people have it where, you know,

I've got that sinew, that piece of tissue that under your tongue, right? That doesn't allow my tongue to go out very far. So like Astrid can put her tongue on all the way down to her chin almost. I can barely like put it out of my mouth. Some. Yeah, I think you got the same problem too.

I don't think I can go very far. You got to have one long and one short in the relationship. That's how it goes. So Jeff doesn't have that, I imagine. Never have I ever. Chisel drizzle, put a little chisel drizzle on it. You can get that thing clipped, by the way. A lot of some people do that.

Who knows? So they can look like James Simmons from chaos. The joy rocks the earth. Who fucking cares? Never have I ever played spin the bottle. I have. Yes. Early on.

42% or 46,000 people said I have not played spin the bottle. This is telling you what the average age of people that are answering this question are. 42% or 46,000 people said I have not played spin the bottle. This is telling you what the average age of people that are answering this question are, because I mean, by the time you're, I don't know, I don't know, is that a thing you think the kids still do today? I have no idea what the kids are doing today. I have no idea either.

I don't know what people under 18 are doing today. I really don't know what people under 21 are doing. It's probably something on their phone that's similar. Yeah, there's, yeah, it's like a game they play. It's called Tinder. Never have I ever played seven minutes in heaven. Of course I have. Have you played it? Seven minutes in heaven. I don't know that I have. I played it maybe two or three times. Is that where you like go into the closet? Yes, you go into a closet.

Okay, and kiss? Yeah. Or whatever you can get away with. It's like spin the bottle, but then it's seven minutes in heaven heaven So you spin the bottle and then whichever Person you land on you have to go in the closet for seven minutes Like straight out of Teen Wolf this is straight out of Teen Wolf by the way Everyone in Teen Wolf looks like they're in their 40s if you go back and watch that movie. It's terrible. It's terrible I Played he was able to buy the beer. Yeah, of course, because he was 42.

They totally... Give me a can of beer. Wrong, Mr. Pickford, altogether. As is Dason Confused. There's quite a few people in Dason Confused that also look like they're 42. What a great movie that was, though. So 83% of people have not played this,

and I understand why this might be a game that was popular. So 83% of people have not played this and I understand why. This might be a game that was popular back then and not popular now. Like who really wants to go in the closet with Stranger for seven minutes. And by the way, each time that I did seven minutes in heaven, with the exception of once, it was not heaven. It was like, what do we do now? I don't know. Let's just like rustle around for a minute and pretend we're doing something.

Never have I ever, oh by the way, Let's just like rustle around for a minute and pretend we're doing something Never have I ever oh by the way 90,000 people 83% never have I ever made out with someone in public. Oh, yes. I have oh, yes. Yeah, this one Strangely enough you go into the closet and all you have to do is pretend you're making out But if you want to do it in public in front of everybody almost 77% said yes, they've made out in public with somebody. So never have I ever sexed with someone. Of course. Yes. Astrid and I were long distance for a while. There's a lot of sex thing going on. Let me

tell you that. Or maybe not, mom and dad. I'm an I in. They're not listening anymore. It's funny. Yeah, they don't listen anymore. They don't care. They're so overwhelming. It's so funny because her parents are, they're not like strictly religious, but as is appropriate, they didn't want us sleeping together before we were married.

So whenever in their company, it was the respectful and appropriate thing to sleep in separate hotel rooms or in separate beds at the very least. However, now that we're married, all they can do is beg us for more children. They just want us to have more sex. That's all they're asking us for. They want more. They want more. Yeah, they do. I told them, my turn is over. You You gotta pick another child. Never have I ever send someone a nude picture of myself. Yes. Yes, I have. 62% says they have 64.6 thousand people. There's a lot of pervs out there, including myself.

Never have I ever received a naked picture of someone else. Of course I have. Sometimes, like, I didn't request it. 73,000 or 73% said yes. Never have I ever sent someone a naked picture of myself. Yes, I have. I thought we just said that. No, that was sexting. Uh-oh.

I think one is like... No, we said naked picture of ourselves. Well, I think that we were misunderstanding the question. Oh, okay. Yes, to all of it. I've done all of it. Yes, my answer is going to be yes to all of this. Never have I ever received a naked video of someone. Yes, I have. 53% said yes, 51,000, 52,000.

Never have I ever slept with someone slept in the same bed with someone with clothes on of course yes, please 93% said yes Jeff and I do it all the time Jeff come on over We'll have a cuddle puddle. I'm pretty sure there were a couple of times after wild nights You and I bonked up at a pan. We we did slept in the clothes. We did, we were always in clothes. We're always clothes, though. One of the two friends that I have never made out with, you and Rachel. Never have I ever slept in the same bed

with someone while naked. Yes, I have. Slept in the same bed with someone while naked. While naked. Yes, of course. 80% said yes. So who are these fucking chods that have never played spin the bottle

or kissed someone on the lips? But they're sleeping in the bed naked with other people. That's right. So these kids are up to, just the tip. Do it in the butt, it's not really sex, can't get pregnant. Never have I ever played strip poker. Oh yes I have.

Oh yeah, that was fun. It was, 74%- What about, where are you on strip? Strip, what's the one where you? Twister? Yes. I did do that one time. Yes, I did. With a couple of people actually.

And that is a rather strange thing. Yes. Because you can end up ball sack to ball sack if you know what I mean. If you're not careful, which is okay, it's in the spirit of the game. It's okay to rub penises as long as you're playing naked twister. That's that's how I've justified it to myself

But that is uh, yeah, you're taking a risk there on the on the boner. Well, yeah No, I was gonna say him being in like maybe an unflattering position. Oh my asshole was everywhere Everywhere. It was a long night. There was like six of us staying in a cabin and it just got crazy. It was three and three. And the crazy thing was is we were all couples. So we got so trashed.

Oh, I see. And they had Twister at the, and so we decided to up the game a little bit and do strip Twister. And all of us ended up naked and all of us were intertwined body part to body part. And here you talk about Jeff and I, but I did not know about this wild

intertwining. Well, we just never had that kind of friendship or I certainly would have been invited to do it. Well, let me tell you. So I'm like 25, 26 years old. Restaurant, working at the restaurant. The restaurant. It all leads back to the restaurant. It really does, because the craziest people work at restaurants. So we all decide to rent this cabin.

We go up there. We're all loosely coupled up, dating, not like serious, serious, just like dating. And we're all in the restaurant industry. And we start playing this game. We're just trashed. And someone finds Twister in like the game box, you know, every cabin in the North of Georgia,

Mountain Woods has a, you know, a box full of games that you can play. We did not wash the game afterwards though. So I'm really sorry. We also played naked, sorry. So we get going and quickly everyone is disrobed because we're really fucked up and everyone's just having fun with it, right?

I ended up straddling another guy's hairy leg. So like my ball sack is like on this guy's leg. And I have my hand down on one of these and there's a girl, one of the girls is like has one leg here and one leg there and my hand is right below her and it's such a weird position that everybody's in that eventually we all just collapse on each other. That's right, collapse into me. Oh, cuddle puddle. Crash into me. I don't know what you're thinking about.

Cuddle puddle is Cuddle puddle Whoops sorry and her my hand is touched that yeah I love that nether regions just came right down on me And this became like an art like after after everyone sobered up in a couple of days later This guy was mad at me because I touched the girl that he was dating is chuchot But I didn't really touch it. She fell on it and I quickly pulled my hand away understanding what was going on. I'm not like a crazy creepy guy, right? I was with the girl I was dating. Oh my God, I can't laugh too hard. It's a stupid cough.

Yeah, we're going to have a cough. I'll press the call button. No, it's okay. Okay. Never have I ever skinny dipped by myself. Skinny dipped by myself. I did. I did the night before my first wedding. Okay. I went in the ocean all naked.

I don't know that I've gone by myself. Someone else, yes. Yeah. I don't think there's a really good reason for me to skinny dip by myself. Maybe it would be like a pool. Maybe I was at a pool somewhere. Yeah.

And I just went from naked dip. You've never been in a hot tub naked by yourself? By myself? I'm trying to think. Do you? I don't have, I mean, I have, we've not really had access to just a hot tub all the time. Do you remember the Russian girl that we were friends with? Yes. Okay.

And I'm gonna say her name here, but do you remember the Russian girl we were friends with? Were you on the cabin trip that we all went on? No, I missed that. Okay. That everybody was that we all went on? No, I missed that. Okay, that everybody was naked in that hot tub. Yeah, I missed that. And I was by myself for a period of time. That was an interesting cabin trip also. I heard back there. Didn't y'all try and go down the whitewater rafting thing too? Well, we did go down the right whitewater rafting, and then we all ended up naked in the hot tub later on and

our Russian friend had a friend with her. That girl was very interesting. And it ended up being a long night at the old cabin in the hot tub. Never, okay. So never have I ever gone skinny dipping with other people. Of course I have. Oh, so by the way, 71% said they had never been

skinny dipping by themselves. That's 65,000 people. Never have I ever gone skinny dipping with other people. That's split almost evenly, 40 to 60% said, 40% said they have. Never have I ever gone streaking by myself. I have not. I have not.

Purposefully gone streaking. I have not, yeah, no, I've never gone streaking. Yeah, and if by streaking you mean running down the street naked. No one wants. Oh, actually, yes, I have. I cut my lawn with a wantau one time. Not sure that counts, but no, I have not. I have not like run down the street naked by myself, not Hank the tank or

with a Frank the tank or whatever it's called. Okay. This is the one I think we're going to say no to here. The one we're going to say no to. And by the way, 90% said they had never been speaking by themselves. Good for them. Never have I ever had phone sex.

Oh yes, I have had phone sex. Phone sex is fun. 56% said yes, 49,000 votes. Never have I ever used a sex toy on myself. Well, here we go. How we get interested? I'm gonna guess you're gonna say yes. I have.

I'm gonna say I tried. guess you're going to say yes. Yeah, I have. I'm going to say I tried. So if by trying we mean yes. Okay. Yes. Um, 70% said yes. Yes. Good for them. A bunch of liberated people out there.

They've never French kissed, but they, you know, are sick and dildos and every orifice. Never have I ever used a sex toy on someone else. Oh, indeed. Yeah. I'd enjoy, maximizes the pleasure when my five seconds of work is done. That's almost even 45 to 55, 45 saying yes they have. Never have I ever given someone oral sex. Yes, of course.

85% said yes, 70,000 votes. Never have I ever received oral sex. Yes, I'm hoping this is the same amount of people. Yes No, oh more people have received it. No, no, that's not true. Actually, it's exact same 84 and 84 percent said Yes, okay, never have I ever licked a butthole I'd like to say I hadn't because I really don't like shit or anything shit related But you know sometimes you're in the heat of passion. It just happens true. That's the truth. It's just hashtag truth Hashtag why not I'm here. I might as well get it all. You know Yeah, I've worked on this spot for a little bit. Why don't I just move into the other spots and upper thigh

I didn't decide the taint while I'm close, I'm close. I mean, what is it really gonna hurt if I just stick my tongue in there for a second? I have, I had a girlfriend who really enjoyed that, by the way. 22% said I have never licked a butthole 60,000. Never have I had my butthole licked. I'd also like to say that I hadn't had that happen

because it's not something I particularly wanted to happen but it has. Yeah. Once you've been around long enough and been in long-term relationships too. Well, that was not at all how it happened. Okay. Well, you try different things. I tell you that story about how I had a friend,

you know, our friend, our smelly friend back in the day. Our smelly friend, then he brought this girl to the bar and then I ended up, he brought a girl to the bar and ended up taking her home. And it was, you know, he wasn't dating her or anything like that, but I think he was hoping to, but he wasn't. And we had a one night stand, like a crazy one night stand. And then she got up after it was done and she started putting her clothes on,

and it's like three o'clock in the morning, we had been drinking the entire night. And I'm like, no, don't, you've been drinking, you don't have to leave, you can stay. And you don't even have to stay here, you can go in you don't have to you don't have to leave You can stay and you don't even have to stay here You can go in the guest bedroom like you don't have to stay in the room And she's like no no no no no my fiance is waiting for me at home, and I was like But this girl was nuts I left Dripping wet with saliva. I mean I had to wash seven times before I felt fully clean. It's crazy

Never have I ever paid for a porn or only fans account. I have not. I have a porn account, back in the day, when it was a $39.99 to view one picture and it took six hours to download. 88% said they have not paid for an only fans account. Wow, that surprises me actually. I thought these kids were all into the only fans.

I don't know. Never, and I say kids, who knows who's answering this? Never have I ever been in porn, been a cam model, or had my own account. No. No, I have not. I thought about it. I thought about it too. I'm thinking about it right now, actually.

We still need to do the feet thing. My feet finder? Yeah. We're getting there. Yeah, 96% said they have not never have I ever put a sex toy in my butt Okay, let's see how many people have had or not had that happen 69% said they have not put a sex toy in their butt and there's nothing wrong with that There's nothing wrong with it. No

put a sex toy in their butt. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with it. No, fuck. A lot of people get pleasure of it. I would think guys more than girls. It's prostate massage is the whole thing. Somebody was giving a course on prostate massages. That's some hippie-dippy party I was at.

That's right. Like a live prostate massage. We reviewed those. Oh yeah, that's true. I think we did. Never have I ever had penetrative penetative penetrating sex Yes, my mouth's not working today. Yes, of course 81% 63,000 what other kind is there? I don't know there is no other kind. I got to penetrate something a mouth

vagina Things could be considered sex. I guess I mean I'd say bring back dry humping Yeah, that's what you've been an advocate for that for a long time. I have. Not with jeans. Not with jeans. You're just going to get hurt. Everyone's going to get hurt in that situation. A good pair of sweatpants. Lululemon is like the greatest invention for dry humping since dry humping. Since Nike sweatpants back in the 80s.

Never have I ever showered with another person. Of course. That's a thought so much fun. 82% never have I ever showered with another person? Of course. That's a lot so much fun. 82% Never have I ever had sex. They said 82% had. Had, yes. Never have I ever had sex while showering with someone. I'd like to say yes and I did it well,

but we've reviewed this before on the show. It's really hard. Yeah, it's really hard. Unless you have like a handmade stool just for sex. Exactly. It's like, you know, one leg up on the wall, you better be sure she's a lot shorter than you are, right? It's a lot of logistics.

Yeah, it doesn't work like, 50 shades of gray where you just throw somebody up against the wall. Yeah, shower, I think of more of like essential thing. Wash my back, wash your front. Yeah, in, wash my back, wash my front. I'll jack you off, you jack me off. Why don't I jack myself off while you jack yourself off because I know me better than you know you you know

I'm saying like that whole thing While we're at it, just let me do it because I know what I like best I'm used to doing this in the shower. So part of my cleaning routine cleaning out my insides Never have I ever had a one night stand. I have. Yes, I have. That's almost split down the middle, 58% saying yes, they did. Never have I ever been accidentally walked in on while pleasuring myself. This has certainly happened to me. Okay. Do you tell?

Well, I mean, multiple times. I got to get my 21 EPMs in. That's true. Well, I mean, multiple times. I gotta get my 21 EPMs in. So, I've had multiple girlfriends walking on it. I had my ex-wife walked in on me one time and she asked me directly, are you whacking off in there? And I was like, no, I'm just lathering up. She goes, it sounds like you're whacking off in there. Cause we had like this, like, it was like one wall

and then a shower, glass shower door. I remember that. Yeah, you remember that in the house, but you couldn't really see that someone was in the bathroom unless you like looked a certain way outside the shower and it had a sliding door. So it wasn't like it opened and closed. You could literally like,

you could open up just a little bit and see the person in the shower, but it was harder to see out of the shower. And so she caught me and she was like, are you whacking off in there? And I'm like, no, of course not. Why didn't you say yes? I don't know. I just felt embarrassed. You know, I felt embarrassed, but it was probably an opportunity to have sex, but she was getting ready to go to work. And then I, brothers

have, you know, caught me while I was in the bathroom as a kid. And I think my mom caught me multiple times. My dad said, stop pumping the ground a couple of times. He did. He said, stop whatever you're doing over there. I was just going to go. I was going to Poundtown on my carpet. No, in a sleeping bag or something. It was like when I was a little, little kid, like just learning all about it.

I didn't even know it was sexual. I was just like, it had a tickle, I had a tickle in my pickle, you know what I'm saying? Right. Stop what you're doing. Yeah, stop what you're doing. Whatever you're doing, stop it. Have you ever been walked in on?

I don't know. I'm trying to think. I mean, it's not as prevalent, you know, with girls growing up as guys. Yeah, true. And yeah. Growing up. Growing up. Yeah.

Never have I ever, oh, okay, so I did. So let's see how many people. 35% said yes, 65% said no. Never have I ever been accidentally walked in on while having sex. Oh, yes, this has happened to me many, many times. Many times. Many times. Cause I'm, I don't know.

Oh my, many. I'm a screamer. I've walked in on someone else. Oh you did? Yeah. Oh! Yeah, I've been walked in. Remember that one, I went to a wedding one time

and I ended up staying at the bridal house. Right, yes. And that girl like set me up in a room with a girl she wanted to set me up with. So she put us in the same room that had two beds. And the second I walked in, the girl was like, here, wear this cologne. Like within an hour, we were like humping all over the place.

And that was, one of my friends, the bride and the groom were having a big screaming match down in the screen in Portia, this beautiful place in Florida. And one of my friends thought that I could, for some reason, stop the screaming match. If I could just come down and talk sense to them. So I went in to get you.

She just pounded open the door and I was like behind this woman just having sex. And I was like, what? And she's like, you guys stop fucking, come downstairs there's a problem. She like didn't even miss a beat. So yes, I have. And 40% of people have also.

Never have I ever been tied up with ropes or handcuffs during sex. Yes, I have. Yes? Okay, 60% said no, 43,000 people. That whole handcuff play. Yes. That's fun.

Never have I ever tasted my own discharge or semen. Not because I actually drank it. I did, it wasn't like a gizzle drizzle. I wasn't looking to have it, but I'm sure that in some, there's lots of exchanges of fluidity going on. And so I'm gonna say yes to that. Yes.

Ha ha. Uh, never have I ever committed an act of consensual voyeurism. Yes. Yeah. Like being out there having sex out in public. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha ha.

Ha ha. We're like both like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha ha. I definitely remember some of that time. Alright, we got a few more questions. Let's take a break. We're, uh, we're we got a few more questions. Let's take a break. We're a little bit running over here. Let's take a break.

We'll be back. Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting Brian, give us a call at 626-ASK-TCB3, leave us a voicemail, and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't ya? You can also text us at 855-TCB-8383 and check out our website, TCBPodcast.com, for all things TCB.

You know what's coming next. Follow us on Instagram, at the commercial break, and on TikTok, at TCB Podcast. And now, let's listen to some sponsors because they're the real ones around here. This episode is sponsored in part by Magic Spoon. Okay, if you've listened to any amount of the commercial break, then you know one of my disgusting food habits is to eat sugary cereals with cream late at night. Well, the earth just turned one year older and I've decided to do away with the empty calories and added sugars. The good news for my bad cereal habit? I have Magic Spoon.

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Remember to start the near off right with a delicious bowl of high protein cereal at magic spoon dot com slash TCB and be sure to use the promo code TCB to save five dollars off. That's magic spoon dot com slash TCB and use the code TCB to save five dollars off. Thank you magic spoon for being a sponsor of the commercial break and giving me something to look forward to late night after I get out of the studio. Alright, we ready? I think we will be. Woah woah woah. Woah woah woah.

My mouth just does not work today. We will be. We will be. I will be. I'll be. I'll be. Sound like my three year old. I will be.

Oh my god. You know you have some days where your mouth just won't do what you wanted to do. It's like during sex. All right. Yes. So the last question we asked, we had, I think we may have answered, never have I ever committed an act of consensual voyeurism. Yes, I have.

As has 26%. So 74% have not, 52,000 votes. Never have I ever had a threesome. Yes, I have. I've talked about it on this show. Yes,reesome. Yes, I have. I've talked about it on this show. Yes, we have. Yes, we have. 80% said no, 56,000.

Never have I ever had a foursome. Woo. Excuse me. No, I have not. Not in the same bed, but I've been in the same room while I was having sex with somebody who was, and then another person was also having sex with somebody we'd not swap partners.

Similar to what Adam's trainee friend was trying to do by bringing girls. I remember that fucking twad, yeah. He opens up the door and there's 17 hot bitches and a stranger and my friend and he says, hey man, can I use the room to fuck all these girls? And I said, yeah, but I'm trying to take a nap. So, you know, get on with it. And then he didn't get laid. You know why?

Because I didn't bless this union. They wanted me to bless it. They wanted me to bless the 18 some. He thought they, he thought they, because I brought him to his room, to my room. That's right, Chrissy. You can't ever force them unless I say yes. My name is Adam the Liar. I have not had a foursome where you swap partners.

So 93% also have not had a foursome. I'd like to talk to those 7% who did. Never have I ever hooked up with a dating married couple. No. No, a dating married. A dating or married couple. Oh dating. I've hooked up with people who have been dating someone else that I have done. Yeah. Yeah. Unbeknownst to me. Right. At least most of them. Okay. 87% said no. 61,000. Never have I ever slept with more than one person in the same day, not during the same sexual experience.

Mmm, no. Wow, okay. Let me think about this one. That's pretty crazy. That is pretty crazy. I don't think I've had sex with two people in the same day, but I've definitely been sexual with two people in the same day. Like two different occasions in the day. Yeah, one in the morning, one in the night. Okay. You know, party in the woods kind of thing. Party in the woods.

Yeah, that's where I had a six of them. Sweaty, sweaty trailer. My sweaty, sweaty trailer with my gizzle drizzle. sweaty sweaty trailer my sweaty sweaty trailer with my jizzle drizzle. Yes. So let's say yes to that one. 71% said no 49,000. Never have I ever slept with more than three people in the same day, not during the same sexual experience. I don't think so. No, I think two was my limit. I think that's all I could handle. That's all I'm built for. Quite frankly, I'm Irish. 95% said no. Never have I ever been a part of an orgy? I have never taken part in an orgy. I have been to an orgy party in the woods party in the woods or That I went to a club one time. Oh, that's right. It was a swingers club Yes, and there was an orgy going back. Yeah, I saw an orgy happen. Live, a live orgy. It was messy and smelly.

I'm telling you that much right now. Live orgy. Live orgy. Ha ha ha. This weekend at the Georgia Aquarium. Orgy live. Watch people fucking fishes. Watch fishes fucking people.

Foursome, Spicems, 18some. Dicks, plus these taints, it's all over the place. You're gonna love it. Bring the kids. Senior discount. Live. Live. Wasn't there a band named Orgy back in the 90s?

I think there was. Maybe. Okay, so I'm gonna say no to that. I've never been a part of an orgy. 94% haven't been to an orgy and the other 6% is lying. Never have I ever been to a sex party. I have. 93% have not 63,000. Never have I ever hosted a sex party. I've hosted a party where I've had sex at the party,

but I've never been, there's never like a specific sex party. Invitation only. Yeah. I have not. 99. party where i've had sex at the party but i've never been there's never like a specific sex party invitation only yeah i'm not ninety nine year here in five dear july i'd really like to fuck you and your sister i'm having a party this saturday and i could come over love briano

the italian lover brian come over. Love, Briano. The Italian lover, Briano. Never have I ever slept with a coworker, of course. Of course. Of course, I worked at the restaurant industry, of course. 50, 19% said no, 41% said yes. Never have I ever slept with a boss. I'm gonna answer that one on behalf of both of us. That's 10% said yes, 90% said no. Yeah, that's a tricky situation.

Yeah. Don't do it. No, don't do it. Don't sleep with your boss. It's just a dumb idea. It's a dumb idea. It never ends up well. And there's only two ways it goes. It gets reported to HR and you're certainly gonna end up on the short end of the stick. They might also, but you're certainly gonna end up on the short end of the stick, they might also, but you're certainly gonna end up on the short end of the stick. Or the hurt feelings everywhere,

and then it just doesn't, it never works out. No, never works out. Never have I ever joined the Myle High Club. Oh, the whole Myle High Club. Now I have not. I have not. I don't think there's any, I don't even like- The only way I would do that is if I was on a private plane,

I'm not gonna try and do it in the tiny bathrooms on a commercial flight. Yeah, well, listen, I don't even wanna go piss in those bathrooms, let alone have sex in them. I've been in them for a long time. I mean, if you could go in one of those, like, you know, I don't know what they are, Air Abu Dhabi, or wherever they have the actual bedrooms.

Yeah, like, not pods, but bedrooms. Like, you know, they cl- you can close the door and it's your own room. Like if that was going on, then I do the mile high club. But I have no interest in having sex in a bathroom. I have a friend who did it, and he said it was the most uncomfortable weird thing ever.

He was like, it just- Also too, people are onto that. I mean, two people can get, I don't see how two people can get into the bathroom. I don't even understand either. I took my mic, when we went to Spain over the summer, I would take my kids into the bathroom together. I don't even understand either. I took my mic when we went to Spain over the summer. I would take my kids to the bathroom. So you had to like stand on the toilet.

Yes, I was literally having the life back up to the door. And then everybody else, when you come out of there, right in those rows are gonna know. They know. Unless you're on like a long haul flight and everybody's asleep, right? And they have like multiple bathrooms and ones around the corner,

and one person can go in first and then the next person comes in. But still, even then, it's really hard to get into those folding doors. Two people to get into those folding doors. Now a little hanky-panky under the blank. Now hanky-panky under the blanky. I have been there done that. Yes.

That is fun. Yeah. Because I mean it's a long flight. You gotta, you know. Can I, can I jizzle my, can I get a little jizzle-jizzle? For my four course meal on Delta airlines? Yes, please. Uh, I think that was a rather tame never have I ever because we answered I have to so many of them.

Yeah. And I know we're not like, you know, we're not porn stars. We haven't had the most adventurous. I mean, I guess we've had somewhat adventurous lives, but actually I don't know, but still thinking that room that you had as a red room over there. Did you watch that show on Netflix? I did not.

I have not had a chance to watch that. It's good. Is it? Gave me lots of ideas, Jeff and I both. Wait, it gave you lots of ideas about like how to set up your bedroom to have sex? No, not our bedroom, like the extra room. Oh, but I went to the next room you guys have a sex room

Oh, we don't but you like sure. Okay. You'd like to in the future. I invite me over all I want my in you guys need my input too. Don't you? Don't you like I need a professional over there to tell you where to place things Like put the jackhammer over there. It's fun fun to be able to have everything out and available. I need a whole other closet for things. I know you like to dress up. I just see you in like a French maids outfit walking around dusting things with no underwear on, like lifting up high to get the upper shelves.

And Jeff comes in with a suitcase and a business suit. Oh, oh, you're home from work early. No, or, oh, I'm sorry. This must be the wrong hotel room. No, it's not. You like don't speak English. You like speak French. I was just here cleaning.

Well, you know, hey, listen, when you guys get to that point, you let me know, and then I'll come over and I'll, you know, get my advice. You ever seen those? No consult. I'll consult. You ever seen those,

I forget what they call them, the Eliminator or the Extraordinaire or the Sex Pillows, the big body Sex Pillows that you can put in different locations? Yeah, we've both been to that store at separate times, but there's that store. They offered me one, but it takes up an entire room. So it's like, what am I gonna do?

That's why you would need the sex room. You would definitely need a sex room. The red room. I would have a red room, but I'm at the studio. So. That's right. I know you're already halfway there with the curtains and the lights. The curtains and the lights, I know.

And the cameras. And the cameras. The curtains and the lights and the cameras. We're already halfway there. But instead I'm doing this stupid podcast and no one for no money Maybe you can put like a Murphy bed, you know, that's not a bad idea That's not a bad idea. Yeah, huh a Murphy bed, but what comes out is the eliminator or whatever that thing is called Was that thing called? I mean, it's just it's a body pillow. It's a pillow to have sex on in different positions. Different positions. So it's like, you know, it's like one of those damn couches that are selling.

One of those couches that are ergonomic. Yeah. What is that? The love sack. It's like a love sack, but a real love sack. It's a love sack where you put your sack. You know what I'm saying? Yes.

That's what it is. All right. So we're running behind. So let me take the second break and then and then and get to a couple of ask tcb's that have been building up and building up and like the jizz from i've been sick to my penis and

will be back finally i feel like i was waiting waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to TCBpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCBpodcast. Wanted to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626-ASK-TCB3 and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 855-ASK-TCB3, and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your T at 855-TCB-8383. And boy, do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors

and let's get back to the show. All right, you ready? We have a couple of Ask DCBs that have been building up for a hot minute. Yes, they have. I am going to take one that I think that we could probably spend 15 minutes answering. Are you ready for this one? As ready as I'll ever be.

All right, so let me pull this one up here. Maybe, right, right, right, right there. And by the way, if you'd like to ask TCB a question, then email us or you can ask us via the website or you can text us and we'd be happy to answer any of the questions that you send our way. Terribly. Okay, so are you ready?

Tur tur tur tur tur. I'm sorry, I should have opened this up before. You know, it's like just how the show goes. I'm just kind of a- Winging it. I'm just kind of a wing in it. I'm just kind of a wing in it. Okay, here we go. Dear TCB, I am a big fan of your show, been listening for a couple of years.

Me and my ex-husband got into it during the pandemic. We have since been divorced. I have a question about entering the dating scene. Well, what better time and what better place to ask that question? The two married people have no idea what's going on in the dating scene right now. Okay, here it goes. My ex husband and I enjoyed a number of friendships throughout our 10 year relationship. We have one child, that child is now 14 years

old and splits time between the both of us. The divorce was for the most part amicable. That's good. However, as you may know, Brian, when you get a divorce, people take sides. They do. His friend, let's call him David, took my ex-husband's side because that's the right thing and expected thing to do. However, during the last four years of the relationship, I noticed that David and I would become awful flirty, especially after a couple of drinks. As in the course of a normal day or one afternoon,

I'm gonna say it this way, because she kind of phrases it weirdly, but one afternoon I got a text message from David. David just wanted to check in, he asked how I was doing. And I told him I was doing fine, everything was going well, and I was glad that he reached out because there were some friendships that I had missed. And I hope that we could all be mature enough

to carry on the friendship. He agreed and sent me back a nice message about how lovely it was to get to know me and us as a couple during the time we were married. And he hoped that we could continue to communicate and that he would let my ex-husband know that we had touched base just to make sure that everything was on the up and up. That's very mature. However. I knew there was a butt. touched base just to make sure that everything was on the up and up. That's very mature. However, of course there is. However,

after a couple of days of not hearing from David, and I didn't expect to, she puts in parentheses, right? I did not expect to hear from him. After a couple of days of not hearing from him one late night, I started to receive texts from him and it appeared, or I read it as him one late night I started to receive text from him and it appeared or I read it as him being drunk and he started to profess just how attracted to me he had been and he knew that I knew that we had been flirting for the last number of years. He said that he had reached out because I had

been on his mind for the last couple of months and he just couldn't shake it. He had dreams about me. He had looked at pictures of me on Facebook and Instagram. He thought that I was sexy and hot and wondered if there was a way forward for the two of us. I told him that I thought he was drunk and he should probably go to bed, but I appreciated the compliments and we could talk at a different time when he was sober and had a chance to think about it, right? Good. That's a good response. However... I'm putting that in there.

However, a couple of nights later, I found myself buzzed with a couple of friends, and after they left the house, I decided to reply back to him, almost with the same words that he had replied to me. It had been obvious, I think, to both of us, that the last number of years, we were really attracted to each other, and it seemed the only thing in our way was the fact that I was married to his friend. I just couldn't help myself.

I really did find David attractive, and I really did think he had a great personality. It was one of those animalistic instincts that took over, and when I got drunk, I could not control myself. I decided that I would text him some flirty messages back and after having more drinks, I actually sent him a nude photograph of myself in the shower.

Whoa, well wait, I wonder if there was like a correspondence going on or it was just one sided. She doesn't say, right? She doesn't, at least she doesn't say in this particular paragraph. A lot of people tend to talk to themselves. Yes. That's true.

When you're drunk, you just have this thing going on. And that's the dangerous thing about texting someone when you're drunk is that you think they are on the same level as you are, but nine times out of 10, they are not. And only the closest of your associates or friends, lovers, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever it is, should be the receiver

of those kinds of text messages where you can apologize in the morning and they'll understand because they've seen you drunk enough to understand. This should not be someone that your ex-husband's best friend or whatever this guy is. So she sent this nude picture from her in the shower within minutes. He replied. That's some skills from the shower. From the shower. How does she do that? Why would I bring my phone in the shower all the time? I got a

holder in my phone for the phone. Okay. In after a few minutes, he replied, thank God, here you go with a hot dick pic. Oh. This went on for four or five responses back and forth. We were sending pictures and flirty messages, and then I came to my senses and realized that I was doing something probably terrible for both my ex-husband, me, and possibly my child.

Yes. And I decided to just stop and go to sleep. I woke up the next morning with that kind of drunk, that kind of hungover embarrassment that we've always had. Hi, David. Hi, Brian. You texted me with your penis.

And I was mortified. I couldn't believe what I had wrote. I couldn't believe what I received. I couldn't believe that I had wrote. I couldn't believe what I received. I couldn't believe that I had sent nude photographs to my best To my husband's almost best friend because I'm the almost best friend I don't know what that means probably because your best friend would not send your ex-wife nude photographs of your penis You know what I'm saying? This was a number of months ago and since then he has sent me other flirty messages

I assume while he's drunk, but I have not responded in kind. Four days ago I saw him at a local bar in the afternoon. We were sober and we just communicated about how funny this whole situation was. We chalked it up to a blip and decided to go our separate ways that we would stay in contact with each other on occasion, but the best thing for everybody involved was that we found someone single and suitable. Later that night, he texted me, said he was in the area, he had been drinking and he wondered if it was okay

if he stopped by to just have a talk. Right. I had been drinking and I said yes. Oh, God. I probably don't and I said yes. Oh God. I probably don't need to spell out what happens next. But I woke up in the morning and I woke up in the morning, naked in my bed, he had left and wrote me a sweet text message that he had a wonderful night.

I am really confused about what to do. The single scene as a young, as a early 30s, someone is really tough to navigate right now. And I really enjoy David's company. I really like him. I think I'm falling for him, but I just don't know what to do. Please help.

As always, best to you. Feeling lost. The hard ones with the hard ones. The hard ones with the hot ones. The hot ones with the hot ones. That's tricky. Yeah, this is a really, really tricky one. But let me give you my advice. Yeah, and then I'll interject too.

Get it while the getting's good. That's what I gotta say. Get it while the getting's good. Now, listen, I think this is one of those situations that is understandable. It's totally understandable actually. When I got divorced, after my first divorce, there was a friend of my ex-wives who was not like a super duper close friend of my ex-wives, but we had been to multiple occasions and places.

Yeah, we got to know each other. We got to know each other loosely, right? But there were a couple of occasions where we spent the night at the same place like a vacation house And if we would play like board games all of us would play board games We would be drinking I mean we were just like kind of sloshing around for a couple of days And it was clear to me. I knew my flirt dar was in full effect Yeah, and my flirting was in full effect. I could not help myself. I found this girl really attractive

Oh, I've seen that flirt. I found this girl really attractive and funny and interesting. Oh, yes, you have. I've been partying about flirt. You have? So what do you think? What a buffoon or? Oh, no. You were, I mean, no, you were, it was like an art form. I used to just sit back and say, there, there it is. You'd be like, there's Brian. There it goes.

There he goes. Look at him. There he goes. Charming the pants off women. Oh! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Well, thank you.

Thank you for the compliment. I really appreciate it. That's about the time that I would go and look for something else to do. Yes, you had something. You were trying to find somebody to flirt with. There goes Brian. There goes Brian. There goes Brian on the love boat.

I'll see you later. The flirt skirt. I'll see you later, Brian. I think this is a completely understandable situation. I think that it's unfortunate that this is your husband's friend, ex-husband's friend. But these things do happen. And let me finish the story.

So after we had gotten a divorce, I saw this girl at a bar one night and things just lit up. Like we were definitely flirting with each other. It was definitely hot and heavy conversation, make an eyes at each other, touching each other. Like it was full on a flirt world, right? Yes.

And later on that night, she texted me and said, it was really nice to see you. What are you up to later? Like, can I come over? And I never responded to that text message. And I'm glad that I didn't because I knew it was going to happen. Never responded to the text message at all.

And I never heard from her again because I think she knew that and I knew, I know that you know that we know that I'm an asshole. And if I do this, then I just gonna be a more of an asshole So I can manage to control myself in that one situation, but it was difficult It was difficult because you don't have that connection with people that often that's right really when you know I agree. Yeah when you found someone that you had the connection with and you you've gotten to know already Yeah, you didn't have to go through the whole,

what do you do for work? What's the... Yeah, you're right. There's a comfortability there. Because you've known this guy for four years. I would say that the child involved kind of negates things and not because of the child specifically, but because how the husband would react.

And then it would be kind of, yeah. And then he might be venomous. I think, yes. With things that he would say to the child about the mom or about her in general, the way he feels about her. And that might be detrimental to the little pod. I totally agree with you. I think that it's possible that the child involved,

the 14 or 15, I can remember what she said involved, the 14 or 15 year old, I can't remember what she said, but the 14 or 15 year old is gonna- Would somehow feel the brunt. Yeah, he's gonna feel the brunt. He's also gonna think it's weird that Uncle David is now fucking mommy, right? Is now sleeping over at the house. And I guess you guys could sneak around

and he could be over there when the kid's not there, but who really wants to do that for very long? I mean, one night stand, okay, I get it. I would just consider this kind of a oops slip up yes and move on Yeah, I would have a mature conversation with this guy David and just say it's probably best that we forget this right Or that we leave it alone and leave it alone for a few years. Yeah at least yeah when the kid turns 18 And he's out of the house and long enough Yeah, and then maybe you guys can rekindle this. But the other thing that I would be concerned about

just as Chrissy said, is that it upsets the balance of nature. It sounds like it's pretty reasonable between you and your ex-husband. Things can go south real quick. People get unreasonable real quick when they find out that you're fucking their best friend. You know what I'm saying?

So I don't know how your husband is and I don't know if he's moved on if there's like another woman in his life. But I would say that this is not a conversation that you need to broach this soon after the divorce. Because I think you said that, you know, you guys got divorced during the pandemic. The pandemic wasn't that long.

It's like two years ago, right? So I would think that you would wanna just play it cool. There's plenty of fish in the sea. I know that David's comfortable. I know that you guys have like a little history of flirting with each other and a connection. And maybe the sex was good, but there is other good sex out there.

And I'm willing to give you my personal phone number. No, I'm kidding. Listen, I bet there's 30 guys listening to the commercial break right now that I don't know where you live, but that, you know, I would love to have an attractive single. In your area. In your area.

Live orgy. Live at the Georgia Aquaria. Break the kids. I would do yourself a favor and not get involved in a drama. It's just too much. You just don't want to go down that road. Divorce is hard enough as it is. You don't want to add on top of it a very complicated situation in my personal opinion.

I agree. Now that's a very reasonable side of me. The other side of me says, keep fucking. Yeah, keep fucking. Get it while you can get it. You know what I'm saying? All right. Well, we've got lots of... I know my microphone, I gotta yank it this way.

Keeps on pulling itself away from me. Everybody else in my life, they keep moving backwards away from me. Alright, you got our advice. Take it or leave it. I think you know in your heart this is probably the right thing to do. Chrissy and I are giving... In this one situation we're giving you sound advice. We've given everybody else terrible advice but you got sound advice. Leave it alone.

You're in your early 30s, 31, 32 years old. You got the best years of your life are still ahead of you. Your 30s are awesome. Your 40s are great. You're going to be wonderful. Everything's going to turn out fine. It may take you a couple months to find someone but, you know, say love you, my friend. Say La Vee. If you'd like to date this young lady, give us a call. Six to six, ask DCB the number three. That's

one, six, two, six, ask DCB the number three. Text us your comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, ask DCB. My mom's going to be on in a couple of weeks. You're going to love that. We've got some questions loaded up for her. If you wanna date this young lady, send me your profile, send me your information. Give me a good reason why I should send her your contact information. Yeah, that's a good idea.

I'd be happy to do that. We'll set you up. We could do some, we do enough reviews of love matching shows. It's true. We should try, we should dip our toe. We have always wanted to do a dating game. Maybe this is a way we can kind of dip our toe in that water. Yeah. If you wanna date this young lady, I can't tell you what she looks like

I can only tell you that she sounds very nice So you know an attractive yeah at least a David And and and one other guy right yeah They made a baby. She's had sex yeah Unlike 78% of people answer the Buzzfeed question. She's probably French kiss. I've been to an orgy 98%. I've used my tongue during kissing 3%.

People are weird. Tcbpodcast.com where you go to find out more information about Chrissy and I and the show, all the audio audio all the video right there from one location Get your free Teresa caputo or Brian caputo I think one of the sticker of the Also at the commercial break on Instagram it'll fit right there Hot cast on tiktok and YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Oh on TikTok and youtube.com slash the commercial break.

Oh my gosh, okay. Yeah, you can fit right there on the corner. Yeah, this little tiny piece, part of the notebook. All right, I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. That's all you get, now get.

Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. වවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවව� I'm not gonna die