The Commercial Break - No Hobbies, All Honeys!

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

Bryan & Krissy discover the secret to dating women: give up everything you love! We’ve got the giggles Electrolytes! Hiring a lifeguard NO BREAKS Adam The Liar You scared of women?? Adam’s “degrees” Janitor to Martial Arts IAPUA! We love a man with a job Quit everything you love Clickfunnels He’s a protector, rawr (^_^) Change my tire This is a mad schedule LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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On this episode of the commercial break. I cut out all the hobbies and brought in all the hoes. Don't worry about it, I'm your man. 18 years of going. That's right. I learned this one simple trick. Gun fingers. Pew pew.

And now I'm getting laid more than ever. Pew pew. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah boy. Oh yeah cats and kittens welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene, this is the Dean of my Boaty, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. We're getting out the giggles. Ha ha ha! We took a blast from the past. We did. We were reminiscing about one time. One time when we just did Tuesdays.

Yeah. Each week. We thought that was difficult. We had reservations. We were like, well, it's kind of hard to get to the studio once a week. The fuck were we thinking? Almost 600 episodes in, 600 hours of this stupid show.

And not all episodes are built the same, I'm gonna tell you that right now. Sorry for taking some time off earlier this week. 600 hours of this stupid show. And not all episodes are built the same, I'm gonna tell you that right now. Sorry for taking some time off earlier this week. Chrissy and I one time, we had this marketing idea, not a marketing idea, it's not my idea, lots of people have done it. I think we probably took it from our sales background,

right, in radio sales. Yeah, radio sales. Just cold call people. Cold call other podcasts and ask them if they would be willing to promote our show. It's called a cross promotion. It's well-worn territory. You hear other podcasts on our show. Sometimes they advertise on our show. Or they get promoted on our show through our network Odyssey, which is fine. We like those shows. We agree to have them on our show. We agree to let them run those shows. But this is, I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about long before commercials on the commercial break. Like episode number 30, 20, whatever it was. Brian was like, okay, we got to get in this cross promotion game. So what I'm gonna do is let's look at the charts and let's see who's close to us on the charts. And then if they're close to us,

like a little bit ahead of us, then let's cold call them. We'll ask them if they want to do a cross promotion. We have one bite. And then we can climb the ladder. So I must have emailed 48 podcasts. We split the list. It was like you, me and Astrid, and we split the list. Yes.

And I think one responded. And they were two really nice guys. They were like in Milwaukee or something. I can't even remember the name of the show. And they actually came on our show once. Remember that? We did an episode with those guys. We did? We did. Okay.

I don't think we aired it, but we did that, but I think they did. I'm not sure. Maybe we did. I don't know. Anyway, we did, I can't even remember the name of the podcast. Wish I could. Nice guys, super nice guys. And so they agreed to do this cross promotion. So Chrissy and I then had to do for a 60 second promoting audio and video about ourselves. And for the life of us, we cannot talk seriously about ourselves. If someone asks us to describe the podcast, it all falls apart.

And so it's like, so we put together this blooper reel and it must be like 10 minutes long of Chrissy and I just fucking this thing up left and right. I'm here to talk about him. I'm here to talk, hi, I wanna talk to you about your growing body. To your balls, Tom. Yeah, hi, I'm Brian Greene.

This is Chrissy Utley. And forget about those other two guys, listen to our show. I'm pulling over the commercial break. We were so terrible. And I think eventually two months later, we managed to get them the audio and then they kept hitting us up and like, hey, you want to do it again? And I was like, not really, actually.

I don't think that worked out for anybody. But okay. Oh, the days, the golden days. I remember recording with them in the old studio, the other bedroom in my house. Yeah, the other bedroom. Yeah, smaller bedroom in my house. I remember recording with them, and we told them that we did billboards in Iowa.

They were like, what? You did. Yeah, I did. Oh my God, the good old days. When we didn't take this so seriously. Right. Right, well, you know, more money, more problems, but we don't still have the money, but we have more problems for some reason.

More people owing us money, more problems. How's that? Anyway, thanks for joining us today. I am still doing a little bit of recovery from the... So as we're recording, this is Thursday, so you're going to hear this tomorrow on Friday, but if you heard yesterday's episode, then you'll know that I got some version, terrible version of food poisoning along with multiple family members in the house, which made for a very interesting Monday.

As the kid, Astrid said that, and I'll share this, Astrid said that when I was very sick in bed in the morning at like nine or 10 o'clock in the morning, and she started to get sick, like then she was throwing up, she came in the room and she tried to rouse me to help her and I just wasn't like there, you know, I was totally out. Out of it. And so she said, okay, this is what I'm going to do. She was saying to herself, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to go on the couch. I'm going to tell the kids, I don't care what you do for the next two hours. Just please let mommy rest.

Right. And she gave the baby her phone, which is like a big no-no in our house, you know? But it's hard to keep the electronics out of the baby's hands. I'm constantly taking something out of her hands because she's grabbing the, you know, she grabbed an iPad or a phone. But I asked her, and I was like, honey, at that moment. You got to do what you got to do. Yeah. At that moment, I would have done anything for some peace and quiet, anything for some peace and quiet.

Including ignore you. Trying to wake me up. Yeah. Pretend I'm asleep, pretend I'm asleep, pretend I'm throwing up, go in the bathroom, be performative. Ah! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Thank God there was no video of that. That'd be the end of our careers. Well, actually, yeah, we've done that already. We've ended careers already. Yeah, I did a cross promotion where I talked about my hemorrhoids, which I don't have. So the doctor sends a message to me yesterday, and yesterday I had the first meal in 48 hours, with just some rice and a little bit of meat. Yeah, you gotta go slow.

Yeah, you really do. And it wasn't a ton of food, but I was very hungry at that point. So I ate half an hour later, I'm right back to it. I'm right back feeling so nauseous, can't stand up, tired as I, like weak, tired, like out of breath. And so I thought to myself, Jesus, Jones, am I gonna have to really go back to the doctor or the hospital because now I'm getting a little bit concerned that this has gone on for more than 48 hours.

Which is when they say like, if you have food poisoning, it goes on for more than 48 hours, you should seek some kind of medical attention. So I was like, okay. Anyway, doctor calls to check on me, leaves me a message telling me that I should get this like IV in a packet. You know what I'm saying? Like this-

Liquid IV? Something along those lines. Electrolytes. Yeah, that's not what it's called, but, and I don't want to name the brand, but so I got it. And I actually, we had a pack of it in the house and I didn't know we have like this box full

of like generally related medical shit, like dog bones. I mean, there's like weird stuff in there. It's like the emergency family drops. Yeah. Old eye drops that no longer have any liquid in them. Yes. Penicillin from 2017. You have to go through those drawers every once in a while.

I've known. We have a box and it's supposed to be for like medical related stuff, but I've noticed it's become kind of a drop all there's extra batteries that don't work anymore. I'm like, what dumb ass put this in there? Probably me. Probably. So I went, I thought, oh, I think we have this somewhere.

And I did, I found a box of it. And now I remember why it's not been used in probably seven years. It's because it's fucking terrible. Oh, it tastes bad. Oh, it's terrible, Chrissy. It's terrible. It's like peach flavored, no sugar in it whatsoever. Drop it in 16 ounces of water and then try not to throw up again while you're drinking

it. But supposedly it's got, you know, a thousand percent of the electrolytes you need, you know, blah, blah, blah, a thousand percent more than Gatorade and all that stuff. It's really, it's really rough recovering. I think, I think I got it bad. I think I got it really bad. I know, I'm feeling pretty punchy too, not because I was sick, but just from coming back

from Pacific Ghost time. I know you feel so sorry. I do, I'm really, I have a lot of empathy for where you're at, Chrissy. I would have given anything to go to Seattle and Vancouver. Anything to go to Seattle and Vancouver. But it didn't work out this time. Maybe next time it'll work out.

Next summer, that's where we're doing the podcast from. Remember? You agreed. I agree. I think you must have agreed while you were in it. Probably. A fever dream in between throwing up. Because you said, let's do it.

But I managed to struggle through yesterday. And I just think that that took all the energy out of me. We had a big interview yesterday. We did. We did. That we now can't talk about. But it's okay. Well, I mean, we're going to release the episode.

We just can't talk about it yet. Just so you know, we actually did get breaking news. We got something first and that's the reason they're not allowing us to now talk about it. We got an A-list celebrity to come in here and then he dropped a bomb, like a big, hey announcement. And then the agent said, hey, can you hold off on that? We were so excited after the interview. Right around the house. Astrid put the Instagram reel together. We're going to send this out in the next couple of weeks.

We've got to get on this super hot right now. And then two seconds later, the agent emailed. They're lovely people, by the way. And of course we agree to it because who the fuck is going to come here to break information? It just happened to be. When Time Magazine will probably pay you $100,000 for this information, you're not going to come to the commercial break and drop it for free. They probably looked at our Instagram and were like, I'm not giving these Knud Nixon exclusive. Fuck that. Where's Rogan? Or Heather McMahon or somebody that's interested. But anyway, stay tuned for that next year. No, it's fine. I'm making a joke out of it, but it's fine. It's just pretty funny. It's the ways that the tide turns. It's a commercial break.

Beach. That's what happens when you play with the big dogs, you get balls in your face sometimes. Somebody humps your leg. But, you know, stay tuned for that nebulous announcement later on down the road. No, we're very excited about this one. And when the time comes, you will know about it because I will make sure that you do. So anyway, today is Friday and happy Friday to you. And I'm so glad it's Friday. I'm so glad tomorrow it's Friday. We got the

kids birthday party this weekend, so we're going to have a big hubba loo here at the house with a lot of youngins running around in the pool. I made the smart decision to get a lifeguard. I like that. Listen, I'm not going to fuck around here. I don't want to be liable and I don't want, I don't want anybody in my family to not want to live at this house because of the bad memories. You know what I'm saying? Yes.

Like, I don't know, there's some weird thing that I have where like, I don't want to stain my house forever. So, I decided to get a lifeguard. We have a pool in the backyard. The kids really wanted to do a pool party. It's an inexpensive way to have a birthday party. God knows we need inexpensive right now. So I said, oh, I agreed to it. Last year they wanted the same thing. I said, no, you're too young. Those, a bunch of, you know, young toddlers in a pool,

it's like a nightmare to me. So this year I said, okay, you're a little bit older. Now you know how to keep your head above water, mainly. So, okay, but let's, I told Astrid, after we agreed to this, I said, let's get a lifeguard. And she was like, a lifeguard? Can you like rent a lifeguard? I'm like, I'm sure you can somewhere.

So we got like one of those lifeguarding services, websites that like, you know, farms out lifeguards. And it was like $150 an hour to hire this, to hire a lifeguard that's trained in CPR. And I was like, okay, I guess, but don't the kids at the pools, local community pools, don't they? I was a lifeguard. They have to take training. Yeah, they'd have to take training. I was a lifeguard. I think I made like $7 an hour.

That's correct. That was 1942, but I think I made like $7 an hour. Yeah, our kids were lifeguards too. And yeah. It's a great way over the summer to get a tan and make money. Exactly. That's it. Yeah. And you get adult swim, you get 15 minutes in the pool by yourself. What else could you ask for? So what's it called? Like all swim or all break or something? Adult swim.

Adult swim. Yeah. But I've been to pools where it's like adult swim, but the adults can't swim either. Like everybody out of the pool kind of thing. And then, you know, the kids are all like waiting. Oh, I mean, just right by the side. Yeah. They like stick a foot in and the lifeguards. Yeah, I got it.

Reep! Oh, come on, man. It's almost been 15 minutes. That's what they would do. You go, I've never had that little megaphone just like this. I'd be like, I don't feel it, I don't feel it. Which really meant that I had to take a shit or something. I don't feel it, I don't feel it.

My friend's coming by with a line of cocaine. I'm going to be the best lifeguard ever for seven minutes until I need another line of cocaine. A shot and a beer. So I said, we have neighbors, those neighbors have kids that are like, you know, 17, 18, 19 years old. They have to know somebody. Did you put it on Nextdoor? I know. No, no, no, no. I could only imagine the responses I would get from Nextdoor.

That would have been a good little way to dip your toe. Spotted squirrel stealing nuts. Thanks. Dear on River Road. Okay. What do you want me to do with that information? So that's what we did. So we called the neighbors and they quickly said, yes, absolutely.

We know a bunch of people who are lifeguards. Let us get you in touch. And we got a more reasonable rate, fair rate, but a more reasonable rate. And we said, hey, listen, four hours, no breaks. You're in charge, but you get fed. And if you want to, I guess if you want to, you can do those 15 minute, you know,

kind of adult swim things. We get the kids out of the pool, take a break, you know, wherever. And then if you really want to. You said four hours, no breaks. Oh, four hours meaning like, yeah, no breaks, wherever. And then if you want, really want to. You said four hours, no breaks. Oh, four hours meaning like, yeah, no breaks, meaning you can take the, well, not technically no breaks. You know what I'm saying. Like you can't take an hour off. You can't, you can't go from like 12 to one and then come back at two, you know, take a lunch or whatever. Right. Okay. Yeah.

So. You can actually take a break, but within those hours. Take a break within those hours, but not a break. A reasonable break. You can take a break, but not a break, break. Not a break, just a break, but within those hours. Take a break within those hours, but not a break. You can take a break, but not a break break. Not a break, just a break. Not like the commercial break, 700 episodes in. Yeah, but a break, break, break, break.

You know what I'm saying. You get it. I get it now. Right, right, right. Okay, so that's, and I'm just so happy that I made this decision. It makes me feel so much better about the whole situation. I feel myself, like I'm out there today.

You know the other thing is people come over to your house, you gotta clean the fuck up, pressure wash the house. It's a whole thing for like, you know, 12 people and six kids who don't give a shit about what your house looks like. They just care if the water's warm. You know what I'm saying? But I do, I was thinking to myself this morning,

I'm like, I do feel really relieved that was a good decision. And now I'm thinking I'm just gonna do that every afternoon with my own kids too. I'm gonna get a lifeguard to stay in post. I'm like, I do feel really relieved that was a good decision. And now I'm thinking I'm just gonna do that every afternoon with my own kids too. I'm gonna get a lifeguard to stay in post. I'm like, you wanna go out to the pool? Knock yourself out. Because yesterday trying to take all those kids to the pool,

one parent is impossible. Well, I mean, 30 kids in the pool at once. Geez, Christy. Wow. You know, you want a pool, you want a pool, you want a pool, and then you realize that a pool is like a boat. It's a hole where money gets sunk into

and stress comes every day. Every time I look at that pool, some kind of stress. The chlorine levels are bad. The leaves are on the bottom of the pool. I gotta put the pool cleaning robot on. One of my children is floating on the top of the water. I should go get them. And I was telling you this story yesterday.

Yes, about when you were on a call. I was on a call and I was taking the kids out to the pool, finishing up the call. So we have this deck that sits above the pool and we can close the gate so they can't get anywhere near the pool and we can close and lock this gate. So I open the gate and my older kids can generally hold themselves above water, but one of the younger ones, she is just learning how to swim. And so she needs to stay close to the shallow end of the pool, near a wall where she can grab onto, she gets tired or gets scared or whatever. So I'm finishing up this call and I say,

okay kids, sit on the stairs of the pool, like sit with your butt outside the pool, put your feet in the pool, sit, I'm going to go turn on the filter and then I'll be back. And so I go and I go to turn on the filter. I come out, I'm still on the phone with my earbuds in and this, I wasn't going 30 seconds and that daughter who doesn't yet know how to quite swim, but can kind of keep herself above water is in the middle of the fucking pool struggling to keep herself above water. So I literally flipped my earbuds out of my ear and jumped in the pool with my phone in my fucking pocket. Yeah, as you have to.

Yeah. And it was like, you know, a whole scary moment. You know, she cried for like five minutes and I'm like, it's okay, listen, these things are going to happen. This is why you got to listen to daddy. But you can't be afraid now. You got it. You got to keep doing it.

Like, you know, these kinds of things are going to happen. It just makes you realize that you have to keep your head above water. You got to keep treading water. So it's this whole thing. And listen, five years from now, I won't even worry about this shit. It'll be like, everybody knows how to swim fine, whatever. But it's just like a little bit nerve-racking.

No, it is. That is a little unnerving to be responsible for lives. Yes, and when you have a pool, fuck Instagram and Facebook and all that shit, because, and TikTok, because when you have a pool, they know you have a pool. And so when they know you have a pool, all they do is serve you up bad stories

about what happens in a pool. You know what I'm saying? And it's just terrible. I'm not even gonna mention the stories because I don't wanna make light of any of it. But it's just like terrible story after terrible story, safety tip after safety tip. And it just makes you so fucking paranoid.

You're like, oh my God, that happened to them, that can happen to me. Oh my God. So anyway. Yeah, so if you're out paranoid. You're like, oh my God, that happened to them, that can happen to me, oh my God, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. So anyway. Thank God for the lifeguard. Yeah, so if you're out there in your lifeguard and you wanna make a couple extra bucks, I need somebody from four to six PM-ing every weekday

until it gets cold. How do you do that? Which is gonna be November or December here in Atlanta. Really, that pool will not be swimmable probably sometime in, like by Thanksgiving. But I'll stop really like cleaning it every single day, probably around Halloween, because that's like, then you're, I'm like, fuck it,

I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna do this. It's too much. It's too much. I mean, you do your own pool and figure out what goes on. Anybody who has a pool knows, anybody who has a pool or a boat knows what I'm talking about.

Speaking of pools and Halloween, actually, just this morning, read a little tidbit in one of my newsletters about how, like, what is it, pool-o-ween? Pool-o-ween? It's a thing. It's a thing? And where they have different,

they're bringing Halloween elements to pool parties. Really? Yes, like little ghost burgers. Trick or swim or something? Yeah, trick or swim. You could have some, you know, like little ghost burgers. Trick or swim or something? And yeah, trick or swim. You could have some pumpkins and ghosts and things. And I thought, you know what, see, remember a little while back, I was telling you, I went, I got early on the Halloween stuff. Yeah, you were really early.

It's July. Well, they mentioned it. They go Pottery Barn has already got their stuff out. I was like, yep, that was me. I ordered from Pottery Barn. Oh my God. So it's a thing. So maybe I should have brought over the skeletons

that I just got. I'm gonna prompt them up out back at the pool. If you don't learn how to swim, that's gonna be you. Exactly. I mean, then I got these new nick friends who are like, just throw them in the pool. No. I've got this friend, his philosophy is they just have to

learn to swim on their own, right? Just let them figure it out. And I'm like, that is the dumbest thing ever. It is traumatizing. It is not the right way to teach. I mean, listen. And trust for whoever's throwing you guys. Yes. It's just crazy. Like throw them in the pool, they'll learn how to swim. No, they won't. That's not true. That's not true. Now, to be fair to his children, they do know how to swim. So I guess they figured it out. And I'm not saying that, like, there's, I'm not saying that, like, around the edges there's

not something valid there. Like you do have to let them figure it out. You can't be on top of them every minute, right? And I was with my first child on top of that kid. Like I was holding him every moment. Like anytime he tried to get in anywhere near danger in the pool, I was like putting him back on the wall. But you have to let him kind of figure it out. But to leave a child alone, just to figure it out and let him swim, that's not something we naturally know how to do.

I don't know if you know, but we lost the gills a long time ago. Yeah, you have to at least have a couple lessons. My God. You have to learn how to float, right? And then I see them doing these babies with the little rings around their head. And I'm like, it's cute. But is that really what we want to do with our kids? To have little bobbing little baby heads all over my pool? No. Those kids are old enough. I'm going to turn this into a wave pool.

That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get one of those machines. A wave pool. You need a good slide too. I do need a good slide, but that's another liability. True. When we first bought this house, it had like a, this pool was from like the 1960s. It's big, it's deep, and it's like totally rectangle.

There's no personality about the pool whatsoever. But it had one of those diving boards, like a rusty old diving board that sat like three and a half, four feet above the water. We're talking like, you know, you saw those guys in like mankinis back in the 60s that would like do the pretty dive, you know, like woo, swan dive off, you saw those guys in like mankinis back in the 60s, they would like do the pretty dive, you know, like woo, swan dive off, you know, and that kind of vibe going on to it. And the first thing I told the pool guy when we got this house, I was like, take that fucking thing off there.

That looks like a nightmare waiting to happen. He's like, yeah, almost nobody puts diving boards on their pools anymore. Cause I can understand why he's like, they're just too's like, there's too many things that can go wrong. And I thought to myself, yeah, well, now sometimes I'm like, I wish I had that diving board, not for the kids, but for me. All right, so today is Friday. You know what that means.

That means that we are going to review a video. Normally on Fridays, that's what we do. It's been a while since we've checked in with a guy named Adam the liar. What we call Adam the liar, Adam Lyons. He is a multifaceted, multi entrepreneur with many career moves throughout his 10 year on YouTube. And he's been a pickup artist.

He's been a social media expert. He's been an entrepreneur expert. I think he had a podcast where he was commenting on Hollywood and entertainment. He was like a TMZ guy there for a minute. And he's going back to his roots and telling us more about women and how we should not be afraid of them. I don't know if you guys remember this, but I've shared that there was a gentleman named Paul in my early life, like in my 19, 20 years old. During the Olympics, Paul hired me to be a painter and then to sell t-shirts

at the Olympics, of which we sold none because they were those color changing t-shirts, like when they got wet, they would change color. We had one version in 65 different sizes and we didn't sell one t-shirt at the Olympics. Oh, Paul. But Paul spoke like this. He was like, Hey, Brian, how you doing today? And I'd be like, yeah, I'm good. And he'd be like, I think you're still the age where you're scared of pussy. Which by the way, I think Paul, looking back on it, may have been like autistic or something a little bit. But looking back on it, he had wisdom. He envisioned himself a coxman, you know, he envisioned himself a ladies man.

But even at my age, I could tell that that may have been a stretch a little bit, like getting laid once is not a ladies man. But he would say some things, I look back on now and I go, that's fucking prophetic, man. You really nailed it. And he would say, you're still at the age where you're scared of pussy. And I always thought to myself, yeah, yeah, Paul, whatever. But now I realize, even though it was crassly said, he was right. I really was and still am to this day, scared sometimes of the female form because it's so incredible, I don't know what to do with it and complicated, quite frankly. Jared. There's a lot going on. Jared. Yes. So, Paul, I mean, Paul was saying that way back when,

now Adam has got his own version. It's what, like essentially, why you're still scared of women. So when we get back from this break, we're gonna listen to that. What do you think? I think it sounds good. Okay, I'm in my awkward transition.

I'm Chrissy, this is Brian. This is Brian, and this is why you're scared of pussy. We'll be back. We'll be back. Hi, no, you're not dreaming, and yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait, and now look how happy you are. I know, I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on

over to Instagram and give us a follow at the commercial break. Seriously, please, it's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy Begg. So just follow us on Instagram again. That's at the commercial break. You can also follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast. And of course, you know where to go for all things TCB. That is TCBpodcast.com baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB.

Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around and that's a win. 212-433-3TCB. Love you. Bye. Get your laugh on with me, Chris Jericho, and the Talk is Jericho podcast. Love you, bye. Mark Maron, Dennis Miller, Cheech Maron, Kevin Nealon. If they're funny, they're on Talk is Jericho. So listen to and follow Talk is Jericho now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. One of our favorite characters on the internet is Adam the Liar, also known as Adam Lyons. And he's multifaceted. He's really had a lot of different iterations of Adam.

Yeah, he really was a social, we watched him be like a social media marketing expert. That's how we met him. Yeah. Because we thought he was a social media marketing expert. And then the next thing we know, he's a pickup artist. And then the next thing we know, he's an expert on polygamy. And then he has a girlfriend, a baby, a woman that's pregnant. He went through all these iterations. And what I've noticed about Adam is he's been mostly quiet on the internet

for about four or five months in general. And so I was curious, where did Adam go? What did he do? And what I found was a video where he's talking about, don't let yourself be scared of women. Don't let this be the reason you're scared of women. And so I thought, oh, that's an interesting video. Like, clearly, he's saying something where we might actually get some information here. Knowledge. Which he's never dropped. The guy is full of bluster and bullshit. I'm telling you right now, he's probably not going to tell us anything we need to know, but I'm going to give him a shot,

because, you know, in my heart, I have like a love-hate relationship with some of these guys. Of course. Because, you know, in my heart, I have like a love-hate relationship with some of these guys on the internet. Of course. I hate what they stand for. I hate what they talk about. I hate the way that they belittle women and generally try and make picking people up a scientific art form that it's not. It's no such thing as a scientific art form you've done, like.

But I love him because he's giving us content for the show. So there you go. And it is Summerween. It is Summerween here at the commercial break. I'm going to correct myself here show. So there you go. And it is Summer Ween. It is Summer Ween here at the commercial break. I'm gonna correct myself here. It wasn't Pula Ween, it's Summer Ween. Summer Ween. Just look at it on Insta.

That feels like a, I don't know, Ween's farewell tour or something. Summer Ween. The summer of Ween. Sponsored by 99X. That's Summer Ween. All right, so let's get into it. Without further ado, I was trolling on the internet.

As you do. As I do like to do sometimes, most times. Every night. Every night, yeah. Astrid has access, you know, Astrid controls the Instagram, but I have access to her Instagram, so I can switch accounts. And she's like, Brian, when I go to the search function on her Instagram account, she's like, it is highly disturbing.

It is either girls in bikinis or some grandpa spouting nonsense about how the birds aren't real. And I was like, hey, babe, it's the cost of doing business. And she's like, why the bikinis though? And I'm like, I don't know, they keep serving them up to me. And I look at them and then they keep serving me more. I don't know.

You can take the Brian out of the fight, but you can't take the fight out of the fight. Let's give an inspiring quote. They have to have those quotes with them. Yes, God forbid. You have your best life. Yes. The thong.

There is no acceptance without acceptance. Here's my nipple. Exactly. There's this person on the internet, this person on Instagram, but I've talked about a lot actually, and I think in general, lovely human being. But it's just been funny to watch over the last couple

of years how she went from like the anti-influencer, she hated everything that the influencers did, you know, tit picks and, you know, showing their ass and half naked and all this and putting the inspirational quotes below, to being that influencer. I mean, there's not really much influence there, but I just see the change, the progression, and I'm like, she got sucked in? She did. Fuck, she got sucked in. And I really appreciated her stance on the whole thing. And now I'm like, well, another one bites the dust. That's why we're all fucked, kids.

You have to live your life. You have to live your life. Vote, that's all I gotta say. All right, here we go. Adam the lion, Adam the liar, Adam the lion. Adam the lion, the liar. Yeah, Adam the lion. It's the newest Disney movie. From Pixar and Disney, Adam the lion. Adam the lion. It's the newest Disney movie. From Pixar and Disney, Adam

the lion watches. He chases pussy and puts 15 girls in his rotation. I genuinely believed that I was scared of approaching women, like many men around the world. In fact, I remember staring at incredibly beautiful women thinking that I could never talk to them, seeing these gorgeous models in ads and videos on the internet and thinking they're the kind of women that guys like me could never get into a relationship with. And I genuinely believe that I was scared of talking to them because I knew that nothing was going to happen. But it wasn't actually... I was genuinely scared of talking to the women in my ads. That's right. That's right. The women that I post all over my Instagram.

That's why I started a social media company. You too can be successful if you pretend to be successful. Because I was scared of approaching. That is just what I told myself. Because at the time... I like how Adam is like in a room in a life, in like his house, and there's books back there. Six degrees. Yeah, like he's read them or something. He's got six different degrees that are just blurred enough so you can't actually see what they are. Exactly. The United Federation of Pickup Artists.

Gold stamped. Gold stamped. Framed. Framed. 79.99 plus 90 cents shipping and handling. You too can be certified by the United States Association of Plots. What does he have back there? It almost looks like too, there's gold records or something? I don't know, Chrissy. Oil posters?

Yeah. Those aren't Emmys. That's for sure. It's awards from his own company to himself. I awarded myself with employee of the year. Started getting into dating. I was a janitor. I liked painting Dungeons and Dragons miniatures.

I liked martial arts. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, You're a janitor. Oh my God, we never heard that. I didn't realize he was a janitor when he first started.

A mad props. And then he got into martial arts. I was sick of wrestling with those five-year-old kids in the kindergarten class and that school I was in. They made fun of me, I got terribly bullied. So I went to martial arts and learned how to kick their asses. Like Dungeons and Dragons. That's what he's painting. Painting Dungeons and Dragons figurines.

Little figurines. Okay. And now he's got a walk. He's got a walk. I like cooking food. Walk with Jan. Do you remember that show, Walk with Jan? You don't?

No, but I do love cooking shows. Yeah, okay. I won't even get into it. It's not even worth talking about, but it was a funny show. Yeah, so, okay. All right. Adam's more... Renaissance, man.

He is. Adam's more than just tiddles and bits. Tiddles and bits. I'm a grump for it. And reading really dumb things on the internet. Yep, just like wasting my time. And I believed I was scared of approaching and I'd actually allowed people to get it into my head. Like these dating forums back in the day,

they told me I have approach anxiety. But after 18 years of teaching dating now, I've come to learn that most people... Sorry. After 18 years of teaching dating, I finally learned how to do it myself. That's what those degrees are in the background. It's a degree in teaching dating. Teaching dating. That's right. From the International Association of Pois, the IAPUA.

Do not actually have approach anxiety. We're not scared of approaching beautiful women. We're scared of what to do next. We're scared that once a woman actually gets to know you, that then they're going to reject you. And so what I did was I didn't approach because I'd already told myself I was going to fail. Okay, valid bit of information here. I actually agree with this. I think that a lot of people,

especially younger folks, I say younger folks, people in their late teens, 20s, they get scared of dating because they're scared of being vulnerable and rejection. But that's a, it's going to happen. Like, there's no success without failure, for sure. So, I agree with him on this. Okay, Adam, I like where you're going with this. You might win me over yet, Adam. No. This. No. I've jumped way too far gone. Woman didn't reject me. I rejected myself. And the thing that-

No, penis. I'm not going to whack you off today. Was holding me back in my head was my career because I was a janitor and my hobbies and I genuinely believed that you know can you stop saying the word genuinely please okay we get it you're being trying to be sincere. Being Dungeons and Dragons miniatures um you know cooking stupid meals for my friends uh martial arts uh being a janitor I I genuinely believe that these stupid meals wouldn't get me anywhere because no woman likes when a man cooks. Come on, dude, really? And by the way, no one gives a shit that you're a janitor.

I mean, there are lots of women that would give a shit that you're a janitor, but there are plenty of women that wouldn't give a shit that you're a janitor. No, exactly. They would like that you're gainfully employed. Exactly. Ask my wife. Ask Ast wife. Exactly, it's a needed job. Ask Astrid.

You think janitor is bad? Try being the host of the commercial break. And also he's like putting himself down for being in martial arts. What's wrong with that? Yeah, being able to defend yourself. And get in shape. What?

Yeah, not bad. Cooking, getting in shape. Cooking, getting in shape. Knowing how to. Cooking. Getting in shape. Knowing how to clean. Gainfully employed. I was too afraid that women would be like, don't want it. Don't need it. No.

No. Simon Carl says, no. You're a loser for all the following reasons. You're sincere and self-aware and have employment and cook wonderful meals. Cook and clean. Yeah. Take women out on proper dates and know how to speak on the phone. They're going to hate you, Adam.

Those things held me back. And it turns out that those things actually ended up being the thing that made me- Well, good. Okay. So we did realize that. Good for you. And when I first started learning dating, we're going back like 18 years now... How old are you? 18 years now.

We're going back 18 years. Way back to 2007. I decided to give up all my hobbies. I decided I wouldn't tell anyone I was a janitor. I stopped painting miniatures and doing photography. I literally... You did all the things, you quit all the things that women would find attractive. I know. Yeah, by the way, I think just having a...

Canceled everything and just focused on dating. That's right. Because there's also a thing at the bottom of, what is that? It's words. The captions? Yeah. Cancelled everything and just focused on dating. I cut out all the hobbies and brought in all the hoes.

Don't worry about it, I'm your man. 18 years and a going all the hoes. Don't worry about it, I'm your man. Chk, chk, pow. 18 years of going. I learned this one simple trick, gun fingers. Pew, pew. And now I'm getting laid more than ever. Pew, pew, pew, pew. I've done everything and just focused on dating.

And I got some results, like I definitely got some dates, but it wasn't amazing. Now, probably not for them either. I don't want to put words in their mouth. Quit my job, quit cooking, quit martial arts, just focused on dating. That's right. By the way, sometimes you just have to give up everything and focus on dating. Sometimes you just need to focus on dating, I guess. I quit my job. I focused on dating. It's unbelievable. I wish I had that luxury. By the way, don't you think that like in today's day and age, just the fact that he has a hobby is like an attractive quality, like something outside of scrolling on the internet? Right. No, to me, martial arts, photography, cooking, cleaning, I mean, those are all attractive things. This is like, he's trying to slyly pat himself on the internet. Right, no, to me martial arts, photography, cooking, cleaning, I mean, those are all attractive

things. This is like, he's trying to slyly pat himself on the back. He is. Yeah, I was a really well-rounded guy. You know my dating journey, you'll know that within the first year of me studying dating, Studying dating? Where are these guys going for this? What?

What is going on? You don't have to study dating. Go out there, Ask a girl out. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Whatever. You don't have to clear your own schedule for a year. Yeah. You don't have to get a master's degree in dating to go to a bar. I mean, come on. It's not that hard. Have your aunt Tilda set you up or whatever. It always works. It ended up becoming the number one dating coach in Europe. Oh, here we go. I knew it was too good to be true becoming the number one dating coach in Europe.

Oh, here we go. I knew it was too good to be true. The number one dating coach in Europe, certified by the International Association of Pick Up Artists, the IAPOI. And a year later was the number one dating coach in the world. By who? Oh my God.

What is that? Those are gold records. Those are gold records. Those are gold records. He's pulling out framed gold records that have his name. What does that say? Adam Lyons, number one dating coach? What is that? Membership into the Team Something Club over one million clicks.

This is click funnels is ClickFunnels. ClickFunnels, I don't want to, I'll go down this rabbit hole someday. Actually, this reminds me, years ago, I put this on my list of things to talk about. ClickFunnels is some internet marketing, get rich quick scheme that some people do correctly and really make a lot of money.

And most people just teach because they never could do it correctly and figure out how to make money. It's like a total, in some cases, scam, right? And I do believe there's some validity to it, but this click funnels thing is like, whatever. Anyway, it's a bunch of people patting themselves on the back for getting clicks, right? How does that make you the number one dating coach in the world that you had 1 million clicks? Because I've clicked on you at least 10,000 times and it's not because I wanted to date you or go to your courses. I mean, that's like, that's a stretch. Holding gold records in front of a screen and saying

you're the number one dating coach in the world is a little disingenuous. In Europe. In Europe. First in Europe, then in the world. Then he took the world on. That's right. By the way, that says 2016, 2017. Okay, cool. I had that for three years in a row. And the only reason I didn't get the fourth year onwards is because I

stopped entering the competition. I mean, after you win three times, it's like, what's the point, right? Right after you enter the competition. I couldn't afford the entry fee. Oh my God. Adam, you are so full of yourself, dude. Wow. I wish we could talk like that.

We wouldn't have 10 minutes of bloopers if we had half the confidence that he did. You know what I'm saying? Sorry. I'm the guy that dating coaches will call when they have problems in their dating life and they need help. You're the top top. Oh, you're the top top. He's top level. You'm the guy that dating coaches will call when they have problems in their dating life and they need help. Oh, you're the top top. Oh, you're the top top.

He's top level. You're the top top. He's the one that dating coaches call when they're having trouble with their dating. Hey girl, it's me. And I've been preaching on a full dick for a long time. You've called the right person. I'm the number one dating coach in the world according to my cliques. Not my dicks, my cliques. That's awesome. So what I got to

do? Got like a drop a bag of cash on someone's mom's door or something like that? How do you get these pussy bags? All you got to do is follow my 312 step program. Turn the lights down low. Make sure the mood music is going before you leave the house Bust them to your house after 12 to 15 drinks and keep your fingers crossed But they're able to say yes at the end of the night I'm Adam Lyons peace out It's really shitty advice. I like being a preacher much better. It's just kind of came to me All right, peace out. I got some errands to run or something.

We haven't heard from Carl in a while. Oh, Carl's been asleep for a minute. Carl's, I think he's got a new church or something. Oh yeah, I didn't hear that. We'll have to check up on him in a minute. Yep. And as the years went by, people asked me, how come I got so good so fast compared to everybody else?

And I realized... I took a stance that I always take with the church. I'm like, I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church.

I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. by people asked me how comes I got so good so fast compared to everybody else and I realized I took a stance that I always take with my masturbation and that is the quicker the better just jab jab jab run run run gym gym gym. I had a massive advantage an advantage that I do want to share with you. You see most. So please go to this link right here clickfunnels.com slash Adam Lyons. I mean, I believe they have to choose between a wealthy guy, a guy who's handy, who can fix

things, an artist, and a guy that can protect her. But if she can meet a guy that can do all of that, then she considers you the full package, which to a woman is incredibly rare. And I learned rapidly that the hobbies and the activities I'd stopped doing were actually a secret weapon that when I combined it with my knowledge of dating catapulted me ahead of almost everybody else. Into the stratosphere. Adamant, he's the taker, la la number one, and pick about us in the world. He's so great. Catapulted you into what?

Internet infamy? Does that mean you're the number one dating coach in the world because you talk about it on the internet? No, it doesn't mean you're the number one dater in the world. You just happen to be good at talking, dude. And so, now I imagine what he does, he decides that all those things he canceled really could be an advantage to him. So, he breaks out the old pictures and posts them on his internet through his social media company. He says he's a protector. He says he's a protector, so let's get back to it right after this break.

We'll be back. He says he is a protector. Because I am a protector. More to follow. We'll be back. What's up, haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces.

And by that, I mean, text us to call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast, unless you want to fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast.com. Bye. It's a summer weed.

The witch. Oh, it's a summer we. The witch. The witch. The witch. The witch. The witch. I'm a protector and an artist. How do you become the biggest dating coach in the world?

Throw in some clicks and a couple of boosted Instagram ads and wha-bam! ClickFunnels Award! I don't know how ClickFunnels has anything to do with pick-up artistry. But okay, we're back with Adam. Here he's sharing more. He's a protector. He's sharing more about how he found his weaknesses were actually his strengths. Wait, and just to give somebody a visual here, he's showing like a stock video thing of some scary looking

person. Like the Oklahoma Bombers. Yeah, sitting in a room with a window. With a weird chin. Yeah, it looks like Abe Lincoln or something. I don't know what's going on there. It's like a shadow. You can't see it because it's backlit.

So you can't see the guy's face, but he's like sitting on the edge of a bed with his head down in a dark room with like moonlight coming in or something. What a weird image. Oh no. Yeah, for sure. I am a protector because I know martial arts and I can fight. It looks like Gollum. That guy looks like Gollum. It's precious. I'm a provider because I understand how wealth works. I am a handyman because I was a janitor for many, many years.

I am an artist and believe it or not, when I turn my cooking skills from just making basic meals into actually the tips and tricks that make five-star cuisine. This guy in this stock video also has the WWF wrestling belt on his window sill. What is going on? What is going on? I have no idea what this video is. I mean, he's like also in a very tiny room. Yeah, he's in a... This is weird. Like he's talking about all these great things he's doing, and then there's like a guy that's about to literally jump out of the window. He's in a... He's now laying on the bed. And when he laid on the bed, what he revealed is on the windowsill that is backlit, it's like a wrestling belt. It's a huge belt with gold on it. Yeah, so weird.

I'm actually a private gourmet chef. Oh, really? I can whip you up some fiddles and diddles in no time. What do you want? Pigs in a poke? I got it for you. I want a perfect gourmet chef. Yes. What do you want? Pork pudding? I got it. Your favorite pie is on the way. And these are skills that most men don't have nowadays. Now, I've taught over 300,000 men around the world and I've been like- The belt. The belt. I know, I can't get over it. Why did he put that stock image in there? It's so stupid.

Private group of students. And one of my students, Andy, I was talking to him just yesterday, and I was sharing this with him. And he said to me, dude, the thing that his girlfriend said made her choose him was the moment he replaced the tire on her car. Can you imagine learning tons of dating skills and having your girlfriend be like, the one thing you did when I knew you were the one was when you could replace the tire of my car? I call bullshit. I call bullshit.

Yeah, it's going to take a lot more than that. Yeah. Was it like a romantic moment? Were you guys like your first kiss on the side of 85, you're changing your tire? I mean, come on. I think that that could be an attractive quality that someone knows how to do things, right?

That maybe is not your strong suit in any person, a man or a woman, whatever. Like Astrid, she knows how to do everything. I know how to do this. I'm not even good at that. But this sounds a little hokey to me. Yeah.

And I know that myself because I'm married to a Russian woman and the very first time I met her mom in Russia, they got a flat tire and it was the middle of night in the middle of nowhere in Russia. And I got out and I changed the tire and her mom was just like, oh my God, this is a great guy. Wait, the first time you met your wife, you were in a car in the middle of Russia? Jared Sussman In the middle of nowhere. Jared Sussman In the middle of nowhere, broken down on the

side of the road? What kind of shenanigans are going on there? Where's the story behind that? That's more interesting than any of this. Tell me how you met your wife in a car in the middle of Russia, broken down on the side of the road. And maybe Adam was taking some kind of journey on the side of the road and he was like, oh, I see a woman in the middle of Russia and broken down on the side of the road. Maybe Adam was thinking some kind of journey on the side of the road and he's like, oh, I see a woman in need. I'll use my jujitsu to change her tire. Wham, wham.

Here's a five course kill. Yes. I've just got to double sidekick this tire off and we'll be on our way in no time. I'm going to do some grappling and then I'll get that tire on. It's something that women really appreciate, but it's a skill that many men have completely lost nowadays. Like they don't have this ability. Because you can call someone for that. And I meant you really- Yes, you can, that's like, come on, AAA. I mean, really. Most men have called and have

lost that skill because we've all lost the skills. Right. I used to be able to navigate anywhere in the metro Atlanta area without a map. Yes. And I knew the street name. Yes. Now, I don't even know the name of my own street. I know.

It's written on my refrigerator because my kids need to learn it, but I'm not even sure they really do. That's the only reason I know my street. I swear to God. Adam- Right about this, we're talking about this a lot this week. And I'm curious, when it comes to you, are there any of those skills that you don't have that you think maybe you should- Paul- I'm going to pause now and let you answer. It's a choose your own adventure, Adam the lion's video. Adam- Are you confident in a fight? Like if a fight was to break out,

are more important? You have like, are you confident in a fight? Like if a fight was to break out? Confident in a fight? No. No, I'm not. What is that? I'm not confident in a fight because I don't like to fight people. I'm not interested in that. I do everything to avoid fighting, everything.

I mean, honestly, I run away. That's what I do. You know how to deescalate a situation so it doesn't turn to a fight, which is what most people with really good martial arts skills know how to do. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah Just had to make sure you pat yourself on the back there. Yeah. I Didn't mean it Sorry, bro. I Can kill you five ways with one hand, but sorry, bro

Peace offering go grab a beer. Do you understand how to make your money work for you? Like something, even when I was a janitor, I knew how to get my money to use that money to generate extra wealth. Is that a skillset that you have? No, so far I'm two for two. Yeah.

Are you an artist? Do you paint? Do you do photography? Do you have any of those kinds of- No, three for three. Skills. Are you an artist? Do you paint? Do you do photography? Do you have any of those kind of- No, three for three. Skills, and are you handy? Are you a handyman? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Aye, Brian. Aye, Brian. Aye, Brian. Don't try. Nope, not my strong suit. So I'm five for five on this. I wonder why Astrid's still with me. I think she's contractually obligated.

Can you fix things if things get broken? Let me know in the comments which one of these skills you don't have and would like to get, because this is something we're talking about. I'll sign you up. I'll sign you up on my martial arts course. I'm the number one martial artist in the world, says ClickFunnels. And the number one chef. Yes, number one chef, number one handyman, number one janitor. You need to clean that puke out of a fifth grade classroom.

I got you covered. That weird orange dust that they put on there. That's right. Yeah. Eww. Recently, and actually we're organizing a big five day event, but we're going to be giving people those skills. No, there you go.

Train them to be able to do all those skills. The funny thing is- You're going to train somebody how to change a tire at this conference? You're going to train someone- And martial arts? How to do martial arts, be a gourmet cook, be a janitor, a handyman, and a fast talker in five days? And paint.

And paint. I'm up for it, bro. Cool. Cool. One day on each skill? I know what it's like to have... He's probably going to have everybody over at his house and he's going to be like, all right, fix that window.

...woman not call you back and wonder why. I didn't always look like this. I didn't always act this confident. You know, there's a period of time where I couldn't even talk on camera. And I developed those skills... Can we go back to those times? Dating. But even when I first started getting good at dating, like I said, I got some skills, but a woman would still have to choose between me or some other guy. And the other guy often won. And why? Why are you setting it up like that? I don't understand.

I don't think I've ever. The whole thing makes no sense. I think once or twice in my life, I've been in a situation where a girl that I was attracted to or loosely dating was dating someone else or had someone else on her mind. And of course I lost, but that's okay. I mean, that's okay. That's what happened.

I have none of the five skills, but that's okay. Like it's just the way the world works. Yeah, it was a little painful when it happened, but it's like, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna like throw a brick through the guy's car. You know what I'm saying? I mean. Start the fight.

Yeah, why is it set up like that? Like it's a competition. It doesn't have to be a competition. It's really frustrating when you look at like a piece of paper of two guys written down and you know the woman's gonna choose one of the two. And. Uh, before we break up, can you just do me a favor?

I'd like a list of the pros and cons about Steve. So on paper, I could take a look. Cause I'm pretty confident. I'm pretty confident. I got a lot of pros. On paper. I'm pretty good on paper. And I want to know if Steve's really matching up.

How big is his dick? Oh yeah. He wins that one. He chooses the other guy. How many orgasms has he given you? Oh yeah, he wins that one too. Matthew 11 You don't know why. And I'm telling you, nine times out of 10, it's because the other guy is basically capable of doing skills that you just aren't. Whether that she feels safe around him, you know, feeling like he can protect her,

or that she's learning about money from him, or that he can fix things, you know, or maybe he's artistic and he's, you know. He's artistic. He was saying artistic, but that cap. The caption said, artistic. Jesus Christ, Adam. Check your captions. I know, check that. Capable of taking beautiful pictures of her. Whatever it is, it's usually those things that make the difference. So it's not good to just- You're capable of taking beautiful pictures.

Can you take beautiful pictures of me? Okay, listen, I brought you both here today because I just can't decide. I've got this Nikon 3000. What I want you to do is we're going to go into the woods and I want you to take beautiful pictures of me and I'm going to make a decision at the end. What is this? Project Runway? What are we doing? What the fuck are you talking about? Oh. Game or have Riz, as they call it nowadays, you actually have to be someone that has these

other skills. And so this is something that's, I've seen some people who use the word Riz. I don't know. Example, I want you to imagine two guys. One of them is like the son of a rich guy. Maybe he makes like a hundred grand a year, but it's like daddy's money, you know, and he spends all his days kind of like just hanging out in his apartment, not really doing anything. He makes a hundred grand a year,

but it's daddy's money. But he doesn't do anything, yeah. So he doesn't make it, he's given it, first of all. Second of all, I don't know if this video's from 2007, but a hundred thousand dollars doesn't do what it used to. You're not living some lavish lifestyle with $100,000. And the other guy, he works at a fast food restaurant. The guy that works at a fast food restaurant, he's got a small business on the side where he does handyman work, does basic electrical

stuff and plumbing stuff, and he's investing all that money into- When he's not flipping burgers? What the fuck? Why doesn't he just become an electrician? I think it pays better. I mean, no knock on the fast food guy. But if you have all those skills... Oh, Adam. Flipping properties, which is something he really wants to get into. Yeah. I've seen so many people working in fast food, flipping properties. Adam, the average cost of a house is $500,000. And doing electrical work on the side. Yes. And flipping properties.

And he's only having the job at the moment while he's building up that business and making it grow. When it comes to these two guys, which do you really think women want? Do they want the layabout that's sitting in his apartment every day that dad- Yes. Yes. He pays for, you know, waiting for his dad to die so he's hoping he gets the inheritance,

with his dad being like, if you don't get a real job, you're not gonna get that inheritance, right? Is it that guy? Wow, you got like a really creative brain. You're just like going off. You got this deep story about these two characters on paper. Or is it the guy that's actually making something for himself and he's actually, you know,

he's physically strong because he's... Hey, he's making something for himself. He's making French fries. I mean, like, come on, let's get real, Adam. Daddy's got a bunch of money. The guy does nothing. He's driving a Jaguar around, if even he doesn't know how to change a tire, he can pay to have someone change his tire. Or the guy who's got seven jobs, who has no time to do anything else. This is why your course is bullshit, because it's the guy who has seven jobs, who really needs your, who really needs like some breathing room and maybe some guidance, but you're now going to tell them some fantasy fairy tale about how the most,

the hottest girl in the room is going to pick them. That's not going to happen. This is Earth, you know, this is Earth where we live with other human beings. Yeah. He's really able because he fixes things and he's, you know, out there working with his hands and he works full time. We typically like to assume that the person who works in fast food isn't attractive, but actually if that guy has those skills, he does MMA at the weekend and he's building up his business.

Jesus, he's flipping houses. He's working full time at the burger shop. He's doing electrical and construction on the side. He's MMA on the weekend. Where does a girl fit into this schedule? Where does he sleep? When does he sleep? He's a more attractive guy. And it's because it's not about money. It's about, are you someone that has these five exact characteristics that women want? There are women online all the time being like, a guy that can cook, a guy who's good at art,

a guy who can defend you, a guy who knows how to make money. Where are these women on the internet? I felt that. Is that AI responding to comments on your website? Because I don't know. And a guy who makes me laugh, you know, pick two, you can't have all five. But the reality is you can. I'm definitely someone that has all those skill sets. Of course you are.

Ha ha! Of course. Of course. Pat yourself on the back, Adam. My students are all people that have those skill sets. I said are old people. The reality. I know. You got to really run through your script here, bud, because your captioning is getting it 100% wrong. So far it said autistic.

And old people. Then it just said old people. Instead of all people. Instead of all people. I think the reason that guys come to learn dating from me is because there's tons of information online, right? There's free podcasts about dating. There's YouTube videos. I mean, there's books. You can learn about dating. But if you've learned and you've read those things and you've got, you know, the knowledge, but it isn't translating into results, it's probably because there's something

do missing, something else that you need to get. Because if you do the same thing, Oh, that's why I'm inviting you to my five day get pussy quick retreat. You're going to come in as Beavis and leave as MacGyver. You're going to know how to make a bubblegum into a balm when I'm done with you. You're going over again and you are not getting the results you want. In my mind, it's time to do something completely different. And that's why I focus on giving men actual skills, like real skills, real life applicable skills that are the kind of skills that women want in a guy. And the best thing about it is the minute you stop

gaining theory and you start actually being good at, you know, taking photographs or getting good at, you know, his very first video with social media was all about taking good photographs to that. You need somebody, you need a friend who can come over and take photographs of you that's good at photographs. Well, we learned absolutely nothing from Adam. I have none of those skills and I managed to grab a beautiful woman who is amazing. I mean, just amazing.

Oh my God, she is amazing. But I mean, he's just, God, he's taking these poor men down rabbit holes. Yeah, the reason why he's talking to the person who has full-time, seven full-time jobs is because that's who he knows will pay for his course, right? And that's who he's sucking dry. Because I can guarantee you can go to five days of whatever. It ain't going to make you more attractive.

You have to be yourself. Somebody will find you attractive. Be yourself and run in like circles. And what I mean by that is if you like painting Be yourself and run in like circles. And what I mean by that is if you like painting Dungeons and Dragons figurines, go to Dungeons and Dragons conferences, hang out in online spaces and be real. Somebody, somewhere will find you attractive. That's it. That's what you do. Don't listen to this. Listen to Brian just fix all your problems in two seconds. Okay? I'm actually the number one pickup artist in the world.

Oh my God. I mean, how is he, there's no way he's gonna be able to teach these skills at this five-year course. Chrissy, please. I mean, he's just trying to get $1,000 onto you or whatever. It's bad. More information to follow.

I'll figure out how much it costs. I will, I promise. Okay, listen, we're gonna be touring, we're gonna be going and doing live shows toward the end of the year. We're really excited about this. More information about tickets and places and all that to come soon, probably in the next couple of weeks.

So we'll let you know about that on our socials. So follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. We'd love it if you would follow us on Instagram. Thank you so much to all the people who did follow us on Instagram when we requested. Now we need more of you to follow us on Instagram. Thank you so much to all the people who did follow us on Instagram when we requested. Now we need more of you to follow us on Instagram. And that's where we will tell you more about the shows

and then on our website, of course, here on the show. 212-433-3TCB, that's 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we'd love to hear them on that line. Text us or leave us a voicemail. And also, you know, if you want to see us in your hometown, if you want to see us somewhere close to where you're living, let us know. Maybe we can set that up.

You know, you will come to your house. Do our five day course. Do our show. Yeah. Do our five day improv comedy class. For a very low price. Also TCBpodcast.com, that's where you get more information about Chrissy and I and your free sticker.

Go to the Contact Us button, drop down menu, I want my sticker, and we'll send it off to you. Thank you very much for joining us today, Chrissy. I think that's all I can do for right now. But I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. I get ass.