The Commercial Break - Nodes, Needs and Dial-A-Dates!

Episode Date: May 13, 2022

There is an award given each year for bad erotic passages in otherwise good books. Bryan and Krissy review a few of these passages. Then, Marlon is on date number 5 with Sugar Mama and he is struggling to make it through. With eyes on the prize of an all expense paid trip to Venice will he make it? Bryan and Krissy have their doubts! Finally, the 90's was a wild time for paid phone lines and one of the biggest was "Dial-A-Date". A phone based sex line. Bryan and Krissy review a HORRIBLE infomercial promoting Dial-A-Date. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this episode of the commercial break, she got him on the note between the neighboring needs. I don't even know. I could not even begin to possibly understand exactly what that means. I'm trying to think, no neighboring needs. Needs? Needs. Yes. She got him on the note more sense with needs yeah and it says in an effort to spread the word about

cryptocurrency and like you know encourage investing right I'm giving you two for one up to fifty thousand dollars right you send me your crypto wallet with little with a little crypto right you send me some crypto wallet with a little crypto, right? You send me some crypto. I send it back to you, double your money. Okay. Chrissy, I could not have been more fucking stupid about this. I guarantee that half the money that these people made was horny 16 year old boys in middle America. They call them up on the screen. It's private, confidential, poor, I don't want to.

I'm the screen. I need to talk live. I can't write talk live. America. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I only got a bunch of back 11 and you've guaranteed! Your news, fact and fiction, in 30 seconds or less, we'll get to money back. Well, it's been an interesting week here around the TCB Studios. Oh, getting all the nitty gritty details, but let's just... It's been a little rollercoaster, aren't it? Between my friend Marlon and his silly updates

and our other friends and their silly, silly-ness. Silly, silly-ness. It's been a crazy week here at the studio. And so I thought it was time to get back into the studio, relax, chillax, have a laugh. They'll take life too seriously. Hi, great. That's what the commercial break is all about.

Totally. And so in the pursuit of funniness, I happened to pond something maybe a couple of months ago, and I thought I'd go back to it. You ready? Yes. It's that time of year again. Britain celebrated a literary award season.

You guessed it, a little literary. But, duh, duh, duh, duh. But, duh. No! The aliens got my tongue. Literary review released its coveted short list for bad sex in fiction award. Otherwise known as the search for bad sex in good books.

The dreaded prize is now in its 22nd year, who knew? What criteria do the judges use? According to the review, the purpose of the prize is to draw attention to poorly written paffunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction and to discourage them. Tommy, so in other words, wow. It's like your pierre is going, yeah you suck balls dude. Yeah that's part. Yeah can you stop writing that shit? Yeah you should pick another, you suck. Bob, dude. Yeah, that's part. Yeah, can you stop writing that shit? Yeah. You should pick another, you should pick another, uh, another profession altogether. Yeah.

Congratulations to you. Hey, dance! Oh, you ready? Wanna hear a couple of them? Yes. 23. So these are bad sex passages in good books. In good books.

So an otherwise good book has bad. Yeah, the passages are very short. Yeah, it's like otherwise good books. Okay. Get have horrible passages, describing some sexual activity. Now these are not, this, oh, this is a compiled list from the last,

from like 2014 onward, okay? All right. Desert God by Wilbur Smith. Have not read, have you read this book? Oh, God. Desert God. Oh, maybe it's, sounds like aliens could be in the book? Oh God. Desert God. Maybe it sounds like aliens.

Sounds very serious. Yeah, maybe I should get to reading a book. Maybe maybe instead of doing this different show, I should actually do something useful with my time. I can think of a few people in our life who could make that take that suggestion. It's true.

Desert God by Wilbur Smith. Ready? I'll try and get it. Get a Wilbur. It's gonna work. Who names a kid Wilbur? You know you're fucked in life. If you name your kid Wilbur. Isn't that, it wasn't at the horse and the famous Mr. Ed? Yes it was. Oh. Oh, Wilbur. Now was it Wilbur was the horse or Wilbur was the man? Because Mr. Ed was the talking horse. It Wilbur was his owner. Yeah. Oh, I don't know.

because Mr. Red was the talking horse. True. It will. It will. It will. Yeah. I don't know. It's the worst television show. I'm out of the history.

Remember my dad? Like, there was a station on when we lived in Chicago on the tuned in TV, like the one with the rabbit ears. The antennae. And all they did was play those old 50s and 60s black and white shows. Yes. And Mr. Red would come out.

And I remember even as a kid eating that show, like thinking, how ridiculous that the horse is talking. And you know how they got that horse to talk? It's a combination of electricity and peanut butter. They would like put peanut butter on its lips and then like jab it in its ass with a frog. I'm going to do my best Wilbur Smith impression. Her hair was piled high, but when she shook her head it came cascading down in a glowing wave over her shoulders, and it fell as far as her knees. This rippling curtain did not cover her bare breasts, which thrust their way through it, like a living creature. That's a horrible. I can do better than that. They were perfect rounds. White as mayor's milk and tipped with rubby nipples. Ruby nipples,

rubby nipples. Rubber nipples. Rubber nipples. You're got rubber nipples. With Ruby nipples that puckered as my glaze passed over them. Your glaze made them pucker? Dude, you're on fire. Her body was hairless just like a teenager on a in-heat. Her pooenda. Her pooenda. Her pooenda was entirely devoid of hair. The tips of her inner lips protruded shyly from the vertical cleft.

The sweet dew of feminine arousal glistened up on them. What the fuck? Her pooenda? What the fuck is a pooenda? What is that pooenda? I'm the word. What a sad pudenda. I'm gonna, I, I hear flags declare on the commercial break that we're only allowed to refer to the vagina

as a pudenda from here in on. Okay. How's your pudenda, Tisla and pudenda? Pizzle and pudenda. He put his pizzle, he thrust his pizzle into her pudenda. That is pretty bad. I have to say that. That is a pretty bad one.

Let's go with one more. The City of Devil by Maniel Suri. Surely, supernovas explode that instant somewhere in the galaxy. The hot vanishes and with it, the sea in sands. Only Karun's body locked with mine remains. We streak like superheroes past the sun, and solar systems die, we dive through the shows of quarks and atomic nuclei in the celebration of our breakthrough, fourth star, statisticians, the world overrides.

Wow, dude, you think highly of your lovemaking skills. That sounds like something maybe like Ron Burgundy would say. Yeah, absolutely. I want to get into your quirks and nuclei. Okay, infrared by Nancy Houston. His tongues, he runs his tongue and lips over my breasts, the back of my neck, my toes, my tummy, the countless treasures between my legs. Oh, the sheer ecstasy of lips and tongues on my genitals, either a fish in a water. Oh my God, that's really bad. That's...

This is, I could do better than this. Mm-hmm. Ed King by David Gooterson. Well, you don't expect Ed King, the name of book called Ed King to have a great sex scene in it. Now that's true. Well, that's true. Well, that is true.

That's what happened. She took him by the wrist and moved the base of his hand into her pubic hair until his middle fingertips settled in the no man's land between her front parlor and her backdoor. How did the parlor go? What are we 13? Hey, man, you getting her parlor? It's stupid. Those were quaint, prudish terms of her girlhood.

She got him on the node between the neighboring needs. What the fuck does that mean? Sometimes these authors get a little too, like high brow for me. And you know they're just going for like, it's speaking of paffunctury. It's all, that sentence right there is completely paffunctury. If you don't know what paffunctury means,

either do I, let's just roll with it, ready? But if you want an example of paffunctory, here it is. She got him on the node between the neighboring needs. I don't even know, I could not even begin to possibly understand exactly what that means. I'm trying to think node neighboring needs. Needs.

Needs. Yes. She got him on the node. Makes more sense with needs. Yeah. I'm assuming the node means cock in between her neighboring needs. I don't even know. Here's one, the shape of her by Rowan Somerville. Well, you would have potential.

As potential, here we go. He grasped the side of her hips, pushed her away, and pulled her to him with a slap again and again with more floss force and velocity. Teen, time, teen, T-I-N-E, time. T-I-N-E, time. Time. That's a weird name for somebody, isn't it? Okay, time pressed her face deeper into the cushion grunting into the foam with each thrust, the wet friction of her tight around him, the sight of her open stretched around him, the cleft of her body, Hitora climaxed out of him with a final lunge, like a lepidiatrist mounting a tough skin insect.

A lepidiatrist. A lepidiatrist. What's that? Mounting a tough skin insect with a two blunt pin and he screwed himself in there I'll love a diatrist is someone One of the yeah, someone is weird and collects insects. You remember like that movie. What was it? Yeah silence at the lambs These I can say these are truly bad

They're really bad and this is not at all how I describe sex I'm like and I lunged once into her, and then took a nap in between her neighboring needs. If you're nude. That's right. I entered her, exploded with force, and slept like a baby while she wept at her life choices. I rubbed her rubbery nipples. at her life choices. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha rejoiced as I turned on TLCs to fat to walk for the first time this week. My DVR exploded with TLC as she wondering when her neighbors needs will be met.

You should submit that to this award. I will submit nothing to these awards. I submit this podcast to... For consideration. Yeah. You know, I submit this podcast to... For consideration. Yeah, you know, I submit this podcast for consideration to a lot of different places. And we've never been considered in that one. One time we were in a podcast magazine. Wow, if we only knew then, how little that meant now. Not one fucking listener.

No, I'm not knocking podcast magazine, but let's I always thought that the idea of a magazine about podcasting Yeah, I mean it's got to just be people in the industry. Yeah, who else is subscribing to show blood listen to fucking Rogan every morning is going let me pick up a copy of Podcast Magazine. I think Trudy, for the wonder years, has got a new podcast, he's on the front of the magazine. I think, come on. Yeah, but we got to, all you need to know is that,

not even six months into this podcast, we got a four page spread in podcast magazine. That's all you need to know about the legitimacy of podcast magazine. Trudy. of pod. God bless Steve Olshar and the whole team over there. But that didn't get now. You can pay to be in a two if that's the way you do. Yeah, I'm losing friends in the podcast and three as we speak. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. Uh, so I, well, I read through all of these and I can promise you that each one has its own, is bad in its own glory. Okay.

But I thought we'd bring it up to speed a little bit. Let's get past, let's, let's always say bring it up to speed. I thought we'd do more commercial break style talking, getting back to like, like, we've been talking a lot about dating. Yes. We talked about Marlon, right? Yes, yes, what's the other way? Marlon went on date number four over the weekend. Okay.

They had sex. Okay. So he managed to get at least get an erection for some period of time. She was very pushy during the whole encounter. She was, like, she was- She was- She was trusting his node. He was trusting his node during the whole encounter. She was, like, she was... She was... She was thrusting his node.

He was thrusting his node in between her needs. I think he was probably looking, he probably had his phone and buy your head like scrolling through Instagram. He, he doesn't like her. Yeah. He's not attracted there. I've been able to deduce this.

Yes. I think he likes the idea of a sugar mama. Yeah, and a sugar mama. He's gonna get there. It's like a challenge. He think he likes the idea of a sugar mama. Yeah. And a sugar mama. Oh, he's going to get there. It's like a challenge now. He's going to get the date number 10. Yes.

I mean, if she lets, I'm going to get the date number 10, of course. It's all up to her. But I have a feeling everything's up to her in this situation. And I told him, I said, just we'll just do what she wants to do. And he's like, I don't have any other choice. No, I don't. What do you think? He's like, I'm not being forced against my will to do anything.

But at the same time, I'm trying to see just a little bit where it goes. Yeah. It's seeking arrangements. This isn't seeking the love of your life. True. It's called seeking arrangements. Very true. She knows just as much as he knows that this is that the deal is that she has a big pocketbook and he wants to get at it or he wants to be on it or he wants her to pull it out. And so she wants him to pull it out. That's exactly what he's like. That's right. Like, with Fred. I don't think there's anything

like particularly interesting about this encounter that they have. It's arrangement. Except for the fact that she did want to get into like some SNM stuff. She wanted to like, she had a writing crop. She wanted him, she wanted handcuffs and a riding crop and she wanted to give him a little pat on the butt.

And he said, yeah. He said, yeah. That's not too kinky. You don't think that's too kinky? Oh, I mean. You don't think it's kinky once, let me tell you a story. I went time out of lawyer. Don't ask me why I had a lawyer, but I had a lawyer.

And this lawyer became a friend of mine. And he would invite me over to his house. We lived close together. He would invite me over to his house frequently because we became friends. Guy was at my wedding. He was like a friend. But the weirdest thing was, one night he had a party, and after the party, every one kind of bailed out,

it was just him and I, and we were sitting there having fun and talking. And I'd been to his house a million times. I'd been to the bathroom, I'd seen his bedroom, I'd been living in the family room, the kitchen, everywhere. You know, you go to someone's house, you're... Yeah, quite a bit. Figure it out. Yeah, yeah.

But there was one room that was always closed. I assumed it was an office or a junk room or whatever, something he didn't care to have open because the door wasn't open. Yeah. And he said, you want to see something? You want to check something out? And I was like, uh, sure.

Yeah, but I mean, you're drinking in the middle of the night, you don't want to see something, of course. I want to see some up for any adventure at that point. Yeah, let's play a Russian roulette. Why not? So he went and got keys. And I never realized that the door had a deadbolt on it. And he unlocked the door. And when he unlocked the door, it was a fucking red room.

Like, what 50 shades of gray, the red room, you know what I'm talking about? Well, I know what I haven't seen the movie, but I'm there. Sex table, sex swing, all kind of leather, all kind of ballgags, vibrators, all kind of shit. But like when he turned on the light, it was like lit up in a way that you knew he used it pretty often. It was like, oh, I think there's not the kind of guy that you would think of that had a red room.

But I guess it's always those guys you never think of. Exactly. But I was like, oh, I think. It's not the kind of guy that you would think of that had a red room, but I guess it's always those guys you never think of. Exactly. But I was like, wow, dude, you're into this kind of, she's like, oh, yeah, man, the girls love the fucking, love it, man, bring them over, put them in the red room for a couple of minutes, get them all hot and bothered, and then, you know, and I was like, wow,

I never thought about that. I thought, bring them over, turn on widespread panic, give them a beer. Ask them what they want to have sex if they say no, politely call him over. I don't know. I mean, he was like, no, no, no, you're doing it all the wrong way. You get him into the house. You take care of him, have a drink, have some fun, get the conversation going, and then

say, you know, thing you start making out or whatever, he goes instantaneously. He's like, let's play a game. He goes, that's how I introduce it every time. Let's play a game, you want to play a game. And he's like, think about it. You know, you just met some chick, you know, some chick for a couple of dates, you know, some girl, whatever. And then you say, you want to play a game after everyone's had a few drinks. He's like, who doesn't want to play a game? Do you want to play a sex game? Right? And he's like, then I take him in and I strap him to the table and I play a sex game. And I'm like, wow, I should have thought about that. But I just don't have extra money.

I'm spending too much money on the podcast. I don't have enough money to buy a ray of dildos. And fussy ass cuffs and leather. I just don't. I remember buying fussy handcuffs years ago at those one of those sex parties. You know, the women were having it's like a type of a party,

but it's a sex party. And I was like, how many of those did you attend? I mean, I've probably gone to maybe three. What does that like an MLM type thing? Like they, yeah, they represent like Adam and Eve or whatever company and they go. Yes, they have a little party and then they, you know, have demonstration not on their bodies, but like they have the products. Okay. Ow, you can touch and feel and what they take. They take their hands and demonstrate it, like, you know, oh, you go like this, or it goes like this.

They do some kind of things. And then they do some kind of things. Is everyone gonna look at Hot and Bothered? Is it like a well-to-nation crowd? Well, everybody's drinking wine, everybody's like, what? Get for the sex, am I? Yeah.

You know, all the women are like, you're pulling putting your ass. Yeah. Wow. And then there's, what's the kinkyest thing that someone brought to a sex party? Is it just like dildos? Is that like a, yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty much dildos, loobs. Analbeads. Analbeads. Stuff like that. Yeah, like handcuffs. Do you ever see someone buy analbeads where they're like, oh, I'll take a pair of those. I did.

I did. Did you look over the side eye and you're like, oh, oh, I was like, Kevin's into that, huh? Oh, Kevin. Kevin. Kevin, there was a guy there? No, no, I met a new or a hunter. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Kevin likes it. Oh, you thought they were for her husband? Yeah. Oh, you thought they were to put in his ass? Yes. Oh, that's called pegging, I think. No, pegging's when you put a dildo in the ass.

Wow. Okay. And everyone gets mad, huh? It feels a little weird that everyone then knows that you have the black mamba or whatever dildo. Not really. I mean, I guess the person's on who you are. Yeah.

I mean, I was like, well, let's try one of those. One of these. I'll take a small. I'll take a small medium and large. I'll work my way up. It was all in the spirit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, trying something fun and new. So.

Interesting. I like to go to one of those sex parties. How do I score an invite? I don't have a mental one in yours. Anybody want to get me an invite to a sex party? I mean, but not like the sex party where you have to have sex. Right, and that's not like a, yeah. I want to be. Sex toy party. It's to a sex party. I mean, but not like the sex party where you have to have sex. Right, and that's not like a, yeah.

I wanna be- Sex toy party. It's a sex toy party. That's right. If you are one of those people who sells for the manufacturer, I just wanna invite, I can even do it by Zoom. I just wanna invite into one of those parties,

so I can report back on it. There's sex furniture. There's, I know about sex furniture. Yeah, so I know about sex furniture. There's a whole showroom up here in the Atlanta area. Oh, I know. That I've been to before. I have to.

Did we go together? Was that the two of us together? No. Oh, okay. Oh, it was the mother girl. I went to the showroom and then I was, they were, they were going to be a client of mine. We're talking about the same people.

Yes, we are. Yes, we are. Maybe we did go. Wait, I think we did when we were working together at the, yes. Yeah, because I knew the people. Because the client, yeah, they were gonna be a client. They were gonna be a client.

But I go in there and then we're having this meeting in this big executive border. Did I say this story? I think that's what I bought my boa. What I went. That is what really beautiful, ostrich feather boa is. But I went with, before you and I went, I had gone with Raphael.

Okay. All right. So we get into this boardroom and then there's like the six stakeholders in the company are all sitting there. They're all men. They're all old men. That's fine. Right. I think they're all like old hippies. Right. That's just kind of, you know, they're, they, but they were all wearing their suits and ties and we're all talking. And behind Raphael and imagine this long rectangle room with this huge conference table and TVs on each end of it, older building, kind of like warehouse and district.

Now imagine behind in each corner is a display case, like a triangle display case that fits in the corner. That's got various and sundry products, videos, whatever. Right? All related to getting banged and boning and all this other stuff. But it's very much a business. And so these guys are very much taking

this conversation seriously, because we're talking about marketing their products more efficiently. Raphael's sitting across from me, and this guy's sitting at the head of the table, and I keep, I can't help, but stare at all of these items that are in there, and I'm sure they're used to this,

I'm not the first guy to stare it. You know, cover of a porn video while we're having a conversation because they put it in the fucking conference. Yes. But the more that I look, the more that I see that there's one particular porn movie, right? And then all this series of products that are on these shelves, they're all the same two people.

And I recognize the people. You recognize them. I recognize them. And I'm like, huh, who is that? I can't remember. I know I've seen them before. Remember, they look a little younger, or maybe they're older, what party that?

You know, it's like your brand starting to connect it. How do I know? Then it goes off. Boom. I know who it is. It is one of our very dear friends and his wife. Oh. And I'm like, so under the table, I'm like kicking Raffi out, you know? And this guy, these two guys are talking and I'm like, look, I do. And he's like, what? What?

I'm like, behind him. And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about. So guys, at the end of the meeting, everyone shakes hands, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I say, I'm, I'm not feeling any doubt, and I need to talk for a minute. And I go, I'm not feeling around, look at that. And he goes, oh yeah, that's a, you know,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what do you mean? Oh yeah, he goes, ah yeah, if I can, you know, when they were young, and you know, a couple of years ago, they needed an extra couple of dollars. I don't know about that.

And they did a whole product line. Okay. And he goes, yeah, they got a lot of stuff all over the, did it that? I go, what the fuck? I mean, it's like, rap, you know, I don't know. He has a knack for five other people's porn.

He does. He does. Yeah, he does. He was not bothered by it one bit either. He was like, I know what I wrote about. And I'm like, is I think he's in it? He's like, I think there's some instructional video about how to use his product or something. I'm like, that's the fucking gangbanger 3000. You said product. What is the instruction manual on the

gangbanger 3000? Grab each handle, pull like a one more style. There's a lot of stuff out there. I'll tell you what, it never ceases to amaze me. Okay, so I thought, so Marlon, so the update on Marlon is he doesn't, he's not really physically attracted to her. Though I just got to say if you're not that physically. He's going to the motions. He's going to the motions, but he did have sex with her. So it's not like he's not totally disinterested. He's got to, you know, because we already know he took some Viagra the last time, and he, nothing happened, not even a heartbeat.

But this time, he seemed to get through it, and he said he did not take Viagra, though I'm not 100% convinced that's the truth, because I think he's just embarrassed that I talk about it. He didn't even know who he is. No, he still feel the same way after the sex. This is what he said to me.

He said, listen. Sometimes the sex could be like, wow, that was amazing. No, he didn't like it. I feel different. Oh, no, he didn't like it. No, I mean, I imagine he liked it. He probably came to completion and you know,

checked the box, right? It's not that hard for guys. You can have an unenjoyable experience altogether and a pleasurable moment, right? It's still check the box. I mean, it's not that hard to check the box. Let's be honest about it, not that hard to check the box.

What he said to me was, I enjoy her company when we're not trying to get intimate, we're not being sexually, I enjoy her company. I actually think, you know, we have a vibe, right? Friendship. Yeah, he said she's real you know, she, it's, we have a vibe, right? Friendship. Yeah. He said she's real quick-witted and, you know, he likes, she snaps back and they're sarcastic, but he likes that sarcastic sense of humor and she has it.

Yeah. You know, she's like, she'll, you know, she throws around her money, but not in a wasteful way. And I said, sending a Porsche to your front door is not a wasteful way to spend money. And he's like, no, what I was- That was the first impression. Yeah, but he said, no, what I mean is, you know, the, the, they got food and the whatever, Uber,

whatever service came up, she gave her, she gave the guy a hundred dollar bill, right? But Marlon only caught that with his eye. She wasn't like making a show of it. Oh, okay. She caught, she happened to be close and saw that it happened. And the delivery person was like, oh my God, thank you so much. And she was like, no honey, you work hard for your money.

They do. So she seems like a sweet person who they get along. But the truth is, is that it's never gonna work out. Because you know, I found out her exact age, it's 68. She's 68, he's 43. 68 and 43. It's a big difference. Not the world's biggest difference, but it is a big difference. And in that's generational at that point. Fuck yeah. Yeah.

And in a matter of five or six years, it's probably going to be a whole different ballpark. Right. I mean, now you're now you're 75, 74, 75. Yeah. That's when, you know, I don't know. And then when people start dying, it's 75. Some people. Not my, not my, not my grandfather who celebrated his 90th birthday. You guys are delicious. Yeah.

This past weekend. Bob a Joe. Bob a Joe. Somebody got him a speedo and he put it on. He's a speedo and he put it on. He did not. He had pictures of that. He of the pictures of that we get to put that on the It's pretty hilarious. He goes it's a dollar a picture Hey, this is a way to raise money for the commercial break. Let's put it on Instagram

You know they have that sensitive content saying maybe we can put pay here like you know send us a Bitcoin I have to tell you a story. A Bitcoin. I lost $50 this weekend. I'm proud. I go on to YouTube and I see, comes up on my suggestion, like your homepage on YouTube, and I'm on YouTube a lot. Yes, you are. I didn't think I was dumb enough to get taken by this,

but I got dumb enough to get taken by somebody. Oh, okay. Up comes Dave Chappelle talks about incident at Hollywood Bowl. Right. You know, some. Okay. Up comes Dave Chappelle talks about incident at Hollywood ball. Right. You know, lie. Right. So now he's live on hot 97 in New York, right? Okay.

Okay. The station. The station everybody knows it, right? R&B station. So it's Dave Chappelle. It's the two hosts. They are talking. And so I tune in and Dave is talking about something or other and I'm like, wow, this So it's Dave Chappelle. It's the two hosts they are talking and

So I tune in and Dave is talking about something or other and I'm like, wow, this is really, you know Dave's letting it loose and they're having a great time and up pops this thing on the screen and it says at Elon Musk on Twitter and it's like one of these you know It pops up on like a thing on the screen and it says I am sponsoring this conversation live on YouTube on the screen. And it says, I am sponsoring this conversation live on YouTube, right? And I'm here to expand the word about cryptocurrency. Click the link below for your opportunity to double your money. So I click on the link and up comes a website

site that looks very professional, has the Tesla logo, all over it. And it says, in an effort to spread the word about cryptocurrency and like, you know, encourage investing, right? I'm giving you two for one up to $50,000, right? You send me your crypto wallet with a little, with a little crypto, right? You send me some crypto. Okay. I send it back to you, double your money. Okay. Chrissy, I could not have been more fucking stupid about this. And but it had a timer on it.

And I was like, oh, fuck. Yeah, the timer got me. As soon as the conversation with Dave is over, then this is over. So I'm like, oh, fuck. So I go into my crypto wallet and I'm like, okay, I'm going to test it out with 50 bucks, right? It's got three different types of cryptocurrencies you can send, Bitcoin, Ether, ETH, uh, and then another Litecoin I think it's okay. So I'm like, oh, I have all three, but I'm like, let me just send $50 and see if it works. It works. Then I'll

go to the other coin and I'll send, you know, it says up to 50. I'll match you up to $50,000. I'm giving away $100 million on this. I was a, I must have a fucking bullseye on my head because I'll tell you what, I could not get my $50 to him quick enough to then realize, as I'm getting send, I hear Dave Chappelle talking about Conor McGregor fighting Floyd Mayweather. That happened three years ago.

It said live, but what they were doing was rebroadcasting an old thing and they were and Then I realized the comments were turned off, but I will tell you what they were about 30,000 people that were watching this That 30,000 views at the time and I could see the Bitcoin transactions going to this wall And people were just sending this thing money left and right and this wallet and people were just sending this thing money left in the right. And for one second, I was like, Brian Green in your 29 years of life, I'm 29, I'll turn 29 later on this year. You're 29 years of life.

You have never been this stupid. You would have checked this out three ways to Sunday. If you weren't so fucking greedy and just wanted to double your money, but I got taken and I'll admit it, I got taken by this. For one second I thought you're a dumbass, and then the second thing I thought was, how smart is this? How fucking smart is this?

It is very smart, very, yeah. I was thinking the same thing, I was like, that's a good one. So go to tcbpodcast.com, there's Bitcoin address there. You send us just send us a dollar, and we're gonna send you back 30. I just think this through. Why would you on Musk be doubling your money? And why would you have to send him money to send him money back?

You're gonna just send your Bitcoin. It was the countdown. A fucking countdown. It was a fucking countdown. With two minutes left. And then Astrid called me in the middle of me trying to do this. And I got all flustered. I'm like, baby, I gotta let you go.

I'm making it out of town. I gotta get on the crypto. And then soon as you as soon as you send it It says, you know, your whatever is processing. No, it has like this other time or it's like processing It's me It's me. Frank Ferdinand. Oh, fuck you, DCV. I put together this elaborate rules just to get you DCV. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah taken. I'm a dumbass. I don't know what else to say. I'll report back if I'm trying to track down the bit. I'm just considering that the best $50 I ever lost because I won't

fall for this. True. Next time when it's even wasn't even bigger scant, send me $100,000 in Bitcoin and I'll send you $1 million. Unbelievable. So, so, you know, Marlin is now, he's just trudgional long. I think he knows that this isn't long for the tooth, but again, it's seeking arrangements. Sounds like an arrangement. It is definitely an arrangement, but at least they're enjoying each other's company when she's not telling him where to put his dick.

Yeah. Yeah. Good. Yeah, let me get a little descriptive. At one point, he said he was like about to climb. He was acting like he was about to climb ax, right? He was acting and she grabbed the head of his cock and like squeezed it real hard.

It was like, don't you come on me now. He said it was like out of a movie. It's like, don't you come on me now. She said I was like out of a movie. It's like you don't you come on me now. Try to help me. Wow. Wow. What a what a what about our other test case. What a lady. Yeah, he's going to come on the show next week. I got I got a report back from him. This is we're talking about someone else that we paid to go on seeking arrangements and see if he could find some dates.

He did have some inquiries. So, he got some connections, I guess, as the way that it works. And so I told him to come back on after he's had some conversations with some folks. Okay, so back in the 90s, we talked about how there were lots and lots of info mercials, right?

Oh yeah. And while we're talking about all this data, there's a lot of, we've been talking a lot about dating and sex lately, you know, it's kind of, I think we've been on a run here for like three or four episodes. We're talking about dating because of Marlon. Yes. I stumbled upon a video in the internet archives

that I thought was apropos for this particular conversation. Okay. Back in the 90s, there were lots of info-merchels. Everyone do it in for a Marshall about everything. Yes. Toasters, eggs, you know plants, Chiapets, you name it anything anything everybody would do Infomercial basically you have a product itself. I love the of glove. I've got the of glove

What's the best thing I've ever bought on an ever is that an oven glove? It's on like a glove and you can just pick anything up. It doesn't have to be the mitt. Oh really? Wow It's got five fingers. Yeah, five fingers. Yeah, so you give a proctology exam also He resist. Yeah, I love that thing. You're a leopard did it all just Killing insects or whatever it is. How long have you had that? Oh yours? 10 years you got it on a on an info marshal. We did how late was it? Yeah I can't see can be getting involved in that.

We need enough love. Yeah, I'll have to add it at first and now I've used it for the past 10 years. Wow. Hey you, yeah you. Thanks for listening to another episode of The Commercial Break. tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go to connect with Chrissy and I. You can find out more information about the two of us.

Listen to all the audio or watch all the video all from one location. YouTube.com slash the commercial break is the place to be if you want daily clips and full episodes two days after they release on your favorite audio platform. At the commercial break on Instagram and 6-6-1-237-8296. That's 6-6-1, the word best, the number 2-Y-O-Yo. Give us a text message, leave us a voicemail, tell us how you feel about the show, leave us content ideas, comments, questions, concerns,

we'll take it all at 6-6-1-237-8296. Please do us a favor and leave us a comment and a review on your favorite podcast player. It's the only way the show grows and we appreciate all those people who have done so lately. We're going to take a moment to tell you about our sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. If you've been listening to The Commercial Break for any period of time, then you've heard Chrissy and I talk about meditation. It's a practice and routine that I've kept up for about 25 years.

And about 8 years ago, I was trolling through the app store trying to find a meditation app for music. And what I found was calm. I'm sure you've heard of this application. It's incredibly popular and there's a great reason why. It helps to induce calm. The app does exactly what it's name describes through guided meditation, through music, through soundscapes, through stories, sleep stories, and otherwise, and many other tools

that are updated every single week. This is an application that at my household we open up at least twice a day because now my children love this app Also, it's got an entire section for kids It helps them with sleep stories Simple meditations and soundscapes and I couldn't be more excited about this when it's time to go to bed The kids ask for the calm app because they want to hear the sleep stories from some of their favorite characters And I use it for the guided meditation the soundscapes and sometimes the sleep stories from some of their favorite characters. And I use it for the guided meditation, the soundscapes, and sometimes the sleep stories when I'm having trouble getting to bed.

This application is an incredible tool in my tool belt when I'm trying to de-stress in these incredibly stressful times. If you don't yet have this app, I want to give a gift to you from the good people at COM. For listeners of the show, COM is offering an exclusive 40% off a COM Premium subscription at com.com slash commercial. Go to c-a-l-m.com slash commercial for 40% off unlimited access to COM's entire library. That's com.com slash commercial. Chrissy and I highly recommend this app. This is one of those things that Chrissy and I truly love. So go to calm.com slash commercial. Get 40% off the calm premium subscription

and thank you so much to calm for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. I found a dial-adate infomerors. Oh, yeah, these are popular. Try and follow along as you're listening. These are very popular. These were very popular. Well, it was anything like party line sex line, you know, sex. Call for sex.

Call for sex. Call for sex. Yeah. And let me remind you for any of your kids who are listening. I know we have some younger audience, our average age is like 35, so I know there's plenty that fall below this line. Back in the day, there was something called a telephone,

and you would actually have a wire in front of the wall. One of the things that was hot to try at back in the 80s and 90s, was these sex or party lines, you would call a 1-800 or a 1-900 number, meaning like 1-900-something, 1-900-hot dick, or whatever. And then you would pay an exorbitant amount of money

for every minute that you stay on the phone. It was $5-10 a minute. And a lot of times these... $2.99 is just... It's just... That's right. $2.99 a minute, it was... It's a butterfly, it was...

It's an national race, it's a... Check with the guy over there. $2.99... DADDY! Sex on, sick for you! Why? That's not a race. Check with the camera. There's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there go through the menu, right, on which scenario you'd want set up. And then you would talk to somebody who lots of people made a lot of good cash being sex call operating. That's what they did. But what your vision of them was like what you thought they look like was, was probably had to do something with either the magazine that you were finding the number in or the television commercial that you saw.

So this is dilatate a 30 minute commercial, which we're obviously not gonna watch all of it, but a 30 minute commercial dedicated to what they call a party line quote unquote. But what it actually is is the sex line that they're trying to get you to call in. And what they're doing is staging a fake party. And they're gonna say that they're talking,

just listen, you got it. Don't only. Wow. Look at that girl. The skinny boots. That girl forgot her bra. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Mr. Klopman. I'm the King of Dallity, 1900. Get a small tiny little dick guy.

This guy is wearing a velvet red suit with a black shirt. Oh, you know, all these girls showed up to the party in their bikini. I think they thought it was a pool party. The Dallad ate the Keeney girls. Hi, I'm David Braunstein, the Prince of Love. And welcome to an all new show. You have a right for it. I've all been show, I'm David Braunstein, the Prince of Love. And welcome to an all-new show. You have a right for an all-new show. I want to know about it. I don't know what to know about it.

What do you want to know about it? Are all new girls, all new jokes, all of these all-new girls. Well, maybe you're seeing a real single women of men, hot girls, and alternative guys. I do this on live and I I'm turning on turners guys. That's what they call the homosexuals back then kids alternative. You know, when you were like back in the early 90s and people were like, man, you look alternative. Sometimes I think that's what they meant in general. It's like you look gay.

But I wonder what ever happened to the Prince of Love, David Braunstein. We're gonna have to get to the bottom of this Yeah, this is certainly at least 25 Talk live call now 1900 227 4444 and all the extension for your favorite guy or favorite girl Remember kids get your permission get your parents permission. You must be over 18 They call it they always say you must be over 18 by they're called. They always say you must be over 18, by the way, and no one ever checked this.

I guarantee that half the money that these people made was horny 16 year old boys in middle America. They call them out of the screen. It's private, confidential, four out of one. I just scream and you can talk live. And if you don't want to talk live, just talk live, leave messages. If you don't want to talk,

who would I leave a message? If you don't want to talk live, leave a message. Tell us what you want. We'll call you back with a blowjob. Thanks for calling a 1-900-666-Hand job. If you'd like to leave a message, press one. I, Alyssa, Brian. I just want to leave a message that I'd really like you to call me back and leave a message on my phone with a blowjob. Hi, this is Betty.

I'm calling you back. I'm calling you back. I'm calling you back. I'm calling you back. You charges me up here on your credit card. Thanks for calling Brian. We have a message. No one leaves a message on these things.

You want to talk about it? I want to, I want for you. Just go to the board and call them. Dave, you're so funny. Can I come on the show? I would love to be on the show. We don't have to be on the show while you have a lot of people on the show.

The 30-minute show, I don't like to fit. He didn't show you. But I want to do something for you. Are you going to do something for me me? I sure I can figure that out He's a sexist pig If you lick my balls you can be on TV lady It's a kind of operation operation I got going on here. This is a class A Hollywood-dite film.

Show me your dits. I said, show me your dits. How am I supposed to know if your dits are good for my camera unless I see your dits? It's all professional. It's on the up and up. Hey, Billy, give me some lube from the back. I'm gonna whack off on a look at your dits.

This Dave guy, I mean, where did they get this class a comedian? There were a lot of bad comedians in the 80 they could have gotten Dave cool yay probably to do this Yeah, and it would have been ten times better like no I how many people have are sticking around I guess Hornetineagers, that's who's sticking around. I guess. But I'm wondering, this guy's like a boner killer. Instead of the Prince of Love, he should be called a boner killer. Oh, my Rala, I'm having a office.

Maybe you walk into office. Can I use a toy platter, type of letter? No. Oh, well, I'm going to use a computer on the software. No. No, can I take dictations and pick the phone? I can use a dictaphone. Oh, you can use a dictaphone.

Good. But I'd rather use my fingeration to pick the phone. I can use a dictaphone even to a dictaphone. Good But I'd rather he's my finger to dial it. Yeah, go to the phone and call Here's here's Tracy she's gonna tell us what she's up to Hi, my name is Cassandra and I'm 26. Are you the kind of guy that I'm looking for? I want somebody who knows how to treat a lady, who's honest, caring, understanding, knows how to have a good time. If you're that kind of guy, give me a number of calls. Hi, my name is Tiffany.

I'm 26 years old. I like mom walks in the beach, animals, and sterile men. And I'm looking for that special girl. Yeah, a squirrel? Yeah, a squirrel. Awww. Hi, I'm Cassandra and next home me to show as much boob as possible. I'm 26 years old, I've never had sex.

I like long walks on the beach, getting drunk and passing out on your couch. Call now. Oh my God, dude. Hi, my name is Veronica. I'm 20 years old and I like to travel, work in house and outside activities. I'm looking for that special travel one. Hi, I'm Rita. I'm talking on the phone.

Yes. It's so cute. You've got to see this scene. Besides the copyrighted music that I'll probably get taken down from YouTube, there's a party going on in the background, but it's so fake, it's not even funny. I don't even think there's music playing in the background of these people. No, it's just their playing. Yeah, and these girls are dressed outrageously. It's clear that this is, I mean, listen, we get it.

It's the point. Sex sells. Wait, is this an alternative guy? Yeah, this is an alternative guy. Okay. Okay, tell me what they this an alternative guy. Yeah, this is an alternative guy. Okay. Okay. Tell me what they meant by alternative guy Can someone tall attractive and sporty? That's you and you're energetic get back to me My name is thangya. I'm 23 years old

And I'm looking for a guy who enjoys going to the beach surfing scuba diving tanning rollerblading And for those cool summer nights Hey girl Manning, rollerblading, and for those cool summer nights. I like to have a party. Hi, I'm so much. Hey, girl. Thanks for calling 1-900-Diala-Date. Yeah, I'm looking for Tanya from the commercial. Oh, yes. Tanya's on extension number 13. Let me connect you now.

Hi, it's me, O'Hania. I'm at my retirement party in a couple hours. If you don't mind me in quick about it, let's get you off real quick, so far. This girl. I mean, we should, by the way, they're all saying, if that's you, call me now. It's a call you where?

Which phone number? The phone number's not changing. What do you call it? Just ask for you? Yeah. That's what you do. Yeah, the truth is, oh, I'm sorry, honey. She's not here right now. Will I do?

In front of a nice fire with someone like you. You know, as soon as the weather gets warm, everybody goes to the beach. And why not? That's the best place to meet girls, especially for the lifeguards. The lifeguards get all the girls. It's like the last time I was the beach.

I saw a life card give mass to mouthfuls as a patient. It's a two-girl. He believes that mass to mouthfuls as a patient. The two girls. And he wore even the water. Oh my God. Get back to the girls. Get back to the girls.

I'll turn it in. Yeah. Get this guy out. Did anybody think of review with David, the Prince Prince of love what the script was going to be Did anybody I have a feeling David is the guy who paid for this commercial and owns 1900 dial date yeah, and I have also a feeling he's done a lot of cocaine tonight And I also have a feeling that he's had had sex with at least one of these quote unquote actors or actresses Yes with at least one of these quote unquote actors or actresses. Yes. Why is your phone a call? Because all the people you're seeing are real, single women

and men, hot girls, and alternative guys. And you can call the lives. And when you call the number on the screen, it's private, confidential. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, ding, ding, ding, ding. What is this? He's like Larry Mo and Curly wrapped into one. Dustin says cool hot sex lines, like Larry the boner killer. Larry, the erection deflections. Yeah. Oh, David, he should be named Larry.

He's like, Larry. Yeah, he's a Larry if I've ever seen one They used to call me a reaction deflection in school is what they call me. Yeah, yeah I went to the beach the other day I saw someone giving a girl a mouth I mean who even thought I'll be Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Oh my god, this guy is like a parody of a comedian. I don't know if this is intentional or it's supposed to be like wacky comedy. Walk live, and if you don't work walk live, just talk to a couple of life police messages. Hear greetings to whatever you want. Let's get to the phone and call. Do it! I'm gonna beat you to death.

Everyone, call now. I mortgage my mom's house! Aaaaah! Ha-ha-ha-ha! My electric bills doing Tuesday! Call now! Ha-ha-ha! I had to pay these girls in cocaine! You think that's cheap? Ha-ha-ha-ha! So the girls surround the life cards and have to keep these on. That girl, sexy girls, like her!

Hey, Zah, what's your name? I'm Tracy. Tracy and Tracy's Tracy's one of the girls I have to keep it on. That girl sexy girl like her. Hey, stop what you're name. I'm Tracy. Tracy and Tracy. Tracy, one of the girls I connect with when you go on the phone and call, right? Right. So they'll hear your voice, right? So they'll talk to you.

Right. Right. Right. Right. I'm David's wife. You better call now. Or yet another failed idea. Ben Cripsy for the third time. Good Tracy.

That girl's got a mouthful of teeth, doesn't she? Yeah. Oh, that's funny. I don't know what I have a feeling these two are brother and sister or something. Yes, something. Hey, yeah, Tracy, you wanna come on my dog? I'm a big commercial.

I told you I'm not doing porn. I'm a professional actress Okay, your choice free cooking I'll be there in 20 minutes Yeah, two brothers, right right And your connect to Tracy right right right Tracy every time you have a hot body every time you order a piece you always wear bikinis not always oh Not always whatever a one-piece Two thorns. No, sometimes I go top let's

This guy straight up the love connection set The arms are showing! Nipple make me come instantly! It's so bad! It's so bad! It's so bad! I love it! I want a coincidence! It's not a hypothetical! Hey, if you love talking to signals

you'll have seeing the if you love talking to signals, you'll have seeing the single you're talking to. These single rides, the photo, the screen. Oh, at dialedate.com. Dialedash, a-date.com. Nothing like an easy URL. Then again, it's probably one of three websites around back then. I think I remember this is put out in 1996 or 2007.

So literally, this would be like one of 50,000 websites that were out there. Yeah, there were not many. No one had a website. I wonder if, I wonder if W, okay, I'm gonna let this play for a second and I'm gonna do a little homework right here live in there, kick off.

That's right, go to the internet address on your screen and looking at live for the same people you're seeing on the show not pictures not videos But see and chat live to Veronica see and chat live to Carlos. It's dialed. They are Carlos and erotic It's your name erotic What's your name? Hands up

job. My name is Pudenda. My name is Pudenda. Your friend. Pudenda. I got the name erotica back in school. Yeah. That's my real name. When I met that stripper I lived with, our name was Kat, and I was like, no, you're real name. For like a month, I was begging her for a real name. She's like, thanks to my name. And mine, so currently in and at it's hottest screen, run the YouTube computer, run the YouTube bookstore computer. Your office computer still runs the computer. Is it good guys?

The website is still up, but now it's like, it's directing you to another dating service website. So I wonder who owns this? Increase at info. Oh, they have owned this website since it says, oh no, the registered voicemail all rights have been reserved since 1983. So dilatate, which was a very famous dilatate service. In the world of... Sex talk service.

Sex talk service. In the world of dilating a day, dilatate was the key. Until David, the Prince of Love, erection, deflection, gothmer, decided to go on a horrible 23 year cocaine vendor Let's talk to David now I once saw a fucking I'm not too old my dick doesn't work anymore Yeah, so the same person I would imagine has owned this since 1983 and I am just guessing that the guys name who owns this is David It has to be because no casting director even at this level of shwank would ever say you're a good fit for the dialogue

It's commercial you might as well have taken one of these busting girls but paste these on them. Yeah, they're better. Yeah Yeah Yeah But paste these on them and add them in or do you say better? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No one's watching you, dude I'm gonna be in the middle of the town. Vanessa. One hour, they now throw a jackpot. One more time. One more time, four times, four times, seven times, every a week for a dull tone. And meena.

By the way, some of these people are very attractive. Yeah. That's how they get wrapped into this. Money. You're gonna be famous. I'm telling you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Woo, woo, woo.

Yes, man. Hi, yeah, woo, woo, woo. Yes, please. Hi, my name's Lynn. I'm 28. I like rollerblading, sun tanning, and shopping. I like men who are sincere, honest, and fun loving.

If you're that guy, call the number on the screen. Hi, I'm 19 years old. My name's Ria. Oh my God. Dicco looks like a hostage. That girl looks like a hostage. I know. She doesn't look a day over 16 to me. I'm sorry. No, she said she was 19. But then again, this is filmed in one K. So you don't even know. Yeah. I can't believe we used to

watch television in this way. And think this is how television looks like. We even know anything. No difference. Yeah. So everything was blurry and weird. That's why I was always squinting at the TV. And, you know, here's the reality. Here's the reality. I don't know what the reality is. The reality is, these things are still going on. They just have a different name. They do. Yeah. This is still happening to this day. Basically, you throw a bunch of beautiful people up there. You objectify them for a few minutes and drag them into your scheme to take money from their pockets. That's how it works. I can't believe they could actually pay the money

on the copyright on these songs. Yeah, no. Turn the beat around. That's gotta be an expensive song to buy. Maybe it was. Yeah, but you know, they're probably making a fucking shits on a money fact then. Oh, shit.

Imagine, you know, 300,000 horny Brian Greens with their own telephones. There was a whole path and shit. Imagine 300,000 horny, Brian Greens with our own telephones. There was a whole podcast about it about the 900 companies from the 80s. Oh, there's a whole podcast. That was very interesting, but yeah, they're making tons of money. Tons of money. Yeah, tons of money.

Mine's just a back on our radio days. And they said that orders used to come flying off the facts machine. That's right. People were doing codecats. That's right. back on our radio days. And they said that orders used to come flying off the facts machine. People were doing good. That's right. Cogam was flowing. Yeah, it was just like.

We're going to read a machine for going up and down the hall. That's crazy. Orders were flying. What the heck? I got another facts $3 million commission. Buy yourself a yellow Corvette. The nicest homein' at lands are probably caused $12,000. Paul Dark and Hans Hong. Hi, my name's Brigitte. I'm looking for big tall strong men.

I dare you to call me. Brigitte! I dare you to call me. What, that sounds like that. She's looked like she might beat somebody up too. I bet that girl is the sugar mama now. Yeah, she turned into the CEO. It's Marlon's sugar mama. Yeah, I dare you to call me. Scary.

Dary you to call me. Why? What's gonna happen if I don't dare you? Dare used to mean something. A dare used to mean. Doesn't anymore. A dare you to. What is that?

No, no, no. But when I was a kid, a dare mean something. A dare used to mean, doesn't anymore. A dare you too. What is that? No, no, no. But when I was a kid, a dare meant something. I'm unique. I'm 21 years old and I like to grow and have a good time. And I'm looking for that special someone who can treat me off my feet. Hi, my name is Brandon. I'm 20 years old.

I like movies, clubbing, and horseback riding. And I'm looking for that special, so I'm going to share all that with. Oh, poor David. Where did they drag you in from? My name is TJ 20 years old. I like to take long walks from the beach hang out with my friends and barbecuing Maybe you can light my fire. Oh, it's good. Maybe you can light my fire. Maybe you can light my fire. Maybe you can light my fire Hi, I'm Brigitte. I like long walks in the beach. I like sand tanning.

I like anything that breeds. I also, maybe you can just do it. I don't even know. These people are so uninterested. Oh yeah. Where are the Dave back? Hi, I'm David and I like, I guess, you know, guys that have brains.

What he really wanted to say was, I love poppers and smoking crystal meth on the top of a building. Being older guy with a younger girl, you know a guy in his six feet going out with a girl in her 20s. How do you think he gets her? I mean, does he is he cute?

Is he funny? He's not using this day line. He's smart. He's saying it. Yeah, that's for sure. Yeah, I don't think it has anything to do with what your pitch and my Alright, listen So 30 minutes of this I don't think we can do all 30 minutes. David. We didn't even do six

Oh my gosh, I'm sure it's more the same. I love it. I love getting into it. I love getting it. You know, the someone she'd given award for bad info marshals, I'm sure they did back in the day. I don't think they still do info marshals, but I don't really like, I'm not up that late, so I don't see them anymore. Yeah, I know.

And now there's whole stations that are dedicated to info marshals. And so who would ever turn that on? I don't know. My mom. That's who. My mom. Yeah. We walk into my mom's house and she's got 16 fucking boxes from QVC

and all these different places. And it's a bunch of useless shit that she hasn't even opened. And I'm like, Mom, what was this? Oh, I'm gonna return that. What is it? I don't know. Why do you keep buying this shit?

They're pretty convincing. I thought I needed it. Yeah, I think you think you need it. Oh, I think she likes you. Life is gonna be so much easier. I think she just likes calling and talking to the operators if I'm being honest. I'm like, Mom, that make you think you need it. Oh, I think she likes you. Life is gonna be so much easier. I think she just likes calling and talking to the operatives if I'm being honest. I'm like, man, you can call me.

I'm not gonna sell you anything. Hey, mom, let me put you on the phone with Dave. Hey, Mrs. Green, how you doing? Hey, take a top off and show me. That's a joke. No, no punchline. The aim's the king of jokes with no punchline. I swear to God, I didn't hear one punchline and all that. No, no, who's stupid. Here's a punchline, tcbpodcast.com is where you go.

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It's where you cannot find any, you can't find that content anywhere else, some of it. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I'm so... It's been a long week. I know, when it's Monday. I know, straight to check. Alright, I'm gonna wrap it up. Oh, the commercial break live on Spotify. Chrissy, I love you. I love you, best of you.

Best of you. Best of you all there in the podcast universe. Until next time, the only thing Chrissy and I have left to say to you is that you're not gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe Until next time the only thing Chrissy and I have left to say to you is I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more

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