The Commercial Break - One Way Flight To Splitsville

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

There are many ways to break off a relationship. Pretending to fly to Europe for a few months is an interesting one. Love Connection week ends with one sad sack single joins Chuck on the couch! Madonna shows up on Jimmy Fallon looking...like an alien! Some people get the subtle "touch up", some go all in on plastic surgery The dd canter is an idea who's time has come Frankie B is discussed The Love Connection is back with one VERY interesting making enemies easily Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jesse? Jesse? Hey wake up! Come on we gotta go to the max! Come on Jesse! Where are we going? Where are we going? You're singing tonight. Wait when am I gonna wear? Jesse remember? Lisa's bringing your costume? Right I gotta wash my hair! No there's no time!

No time! There's never any time! I don't have time to study! I'm never gonna stand for it! I'll let everyone die and I'm so confused. It's okay. You're right. It's okay. Everything will be okay. I just need one of these pills. You mean you really are taking drugs?

I need them. Jester, give me those. I need them back. I have to sing. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. No time! On this episode of the commercial break... She was on Jimmy Kimmel or what was that guy?

Jimmy Fallon. Yeah. And I just, I could not believe it. I could not believe my fucking eyes. Right. Because we... We saw that video maybe a year ago, or at the beginning of season three.

The NFT that she put together, where the tree was growing out of her vagina, or whatever. It's like, we were just thinking I'd ever see it. You're gonna get told you're going to first base! People were just so, it was just so different then. It was a sense of naïve a tale about everybody. There really was, because at this point now,

and I'm like, oh God. You're gonna say, you can put balls on the sense of naïve a day about everything. There really was because at this point now, and I'm like, oh God. You can just say. You can put balls on the back of your truck and no one gives a shit. Yeah. Tells to airline for the reservation system, how can I help you? Yeah, yeah, I've been about a month with this chick.

I gotta break up with her. You got any cheap airfare I can pretend that I'm using? Oh, hey, Jim, yeah. Ha, ha, ha. Today's special, so the South of France, $2,000 for runway! I don't have that kind of money! I don't have that kind of pretend money! It's a kick!

I think he got something cheaper! That's so stupid! Just a break, I'm just gonna... The next episode of the commercial break It's not for everyone, but fact news or fiction is guaranteed in one minute or less or your money back go to the brand new TCB podcast calm to collect your earnings Better than most but not better than the best as our friend Suck Monkey said Thank you very much suck monkey for all of your help welcome back. I'm glad you joined us I have been I have been keeping up on a story that I think is extraordinarily interesting. Okay, and that is Madonna

Tell I do even if you've been seeing Madonna What in the good fuck is going on with my dad. I don't know I I pop out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of aliens, like Madonna looks like a fucking alien.

Mm-hmm. Now listen, very beautiful woman. Very amazing musician. Amazing musician. I mean, incredible. I was in love with her when I was younger. I just fell in love. I was in love.

I was in love with her. I was in love with her. I was in love with her. I was in love with her. I was in love with her. I was in love with her. I was in in love. Pave the way for the strong diva, take control, no bullshit. I think in a lot of ways, she threw her image and the way that she handled herself through her incredible career, paved the way for a lot of equality, some equality in the music business.

Yes. So good for her and I don't want to take anything away from her. No. And I don't like making take anything away from her. No. And I don't like making fun necessarily, making fun of people's looks because it's something they can't control. But she can control the surgeries. However, you can control the surgeries. And she's Michael Jackson-esque at this point.

It is, yeah. It is crazy. She has got gold teeth and silver teeth. And she's got these fangs. And then she's got so much surgery that her face has blown up like a balloon. Yeah, and the butt. Oh my God, and the butt, and it's just, everything's going to hell in a hand basket.

I know. She looks like a fucking alien. Madonna looks like a fucking alien. Yeah, that's all the best way they explain it. There was a way to slide into 60, and I don't know if it was this. Yeah, I don't know if sliding into 60 meant, like sliding in on a stretcher every three days

to your favorite, you know, plastic surgeon. But you know, a lot of those, a lot of those people, they get addicted to plastic surgery. You do. And then they get addicted to the pain medicine, I'm not saying that's Madonna, but they get addicted to the pain medicine that comes with the surgery.

And it's like they're just going in every 15 days to get some other touch up. And there's doctors that'll do it. Oh, she looks horrible. And there's people around you that say, yeah, she looks horrible. And there's people around you that say, yeah, that looks great. Madonna's one of the, we got to be one of the richest musicians on earth.

Yeah. And she's had her cheeks put up so high that now her eyes are closed because her cheeks are in place of her eyes. Yeah, they're subtle, they're subtle surgery and then there's just full-blown. Oh, listen, I don't know what's wrong with her, but she looks like, I don't know the best way to explain it

You know how you go and you get one of those like the kid doll like I think they call them like puffs or something, but they're those little squishy things. They're squishy a poem and you They're like plastic. Okay. Let's say like a minion toy and then you can squeeze it and then it's head blows up Yeah, and it puffs up. It looks like someone squeezed the bottom of her and it puffed up on the top. It's like it looks highly disturbing. The puffed, squeezed the middle to puffed out at the butt. It puffed out at the butt in the top.

Right, but then it also puffed out at the middle too. It puffed out everywhere, basically. It's like someone took a balloon. It blew up. She was on Jimmy Kimmel or, what was that guy? Yeah, Jimmy Fallon. Yeah.

And I could not believe it. I could not believe my fucking eyes. Right, it was. Because we believe my fucking eyes. Right. Because we- We saw that video maybe a year ago, or at the beginning of season three, the NFT that she put together, where the tree was grown out of her vagina or whatever. It's like, weird as they got ever seen. But okay, it's a little artistic expression.

She looks kind of halfway normal in there. But I guess that's because it was an NFT and they got to put the, yeah, edit highly, highly, highly edited. Because when she came on unvarnished on Jimmy Fallon, and that's the first time I've seen her on a talk show in Gears. And it was, I think everybody probably had the same reaction that I did. Whoa. What happened to Madonna? God bless America. I know. God bless America. Anything you want. Anything you want. And we have all that money. Doesn't she live in Lake Cuomo with with George Clooney over there? I was in London for a while. I thought it was Italy. No, it was London. Oh, wasn't. Did she get a British accent for a hot minute there too?

Yes. I think she still has that. Yeah. She's so stupid. Some people just picked their name. Maidona. Good to see you. She got like a hack me accent too. Not even the good kind of British accent, like the hack the accent. Yeah, it's gone a little far in my opinion. But you know what, if she's healthy and happy, living her best life, there you go. Surrounded by people that tell her she looks good.

You know, it's a good example of like sliding into 90 years old to her ever old. She is. she's got to be over 60. She's probably in 70, something. I just was reading the email that said, happy birthday, no more. She, you know, who kind of slid in looking semi-decent, share, share kind of slid in looking semi-decent. Remember, she was 70 when she was 60, 70.

She's got a lot of plastic surgery too, but it like turned out to just fit her. Yeah, it fit her. Yeah, always a very good looking woman and then she just kind of solidly did it so that she was keeping up with the times. Right. Remember in the 90s, she did that video where she was on a Navy ship and riding a gunboat? Was that if I could turn back time?

If I could turn there, if I could fly. Yeah, so it was like an old dominator exalphid too. Oh yeah, she was dating like a 10-year-old or something. Yeah. She was 73 back old dominator ex outfit too. Oh yeah, she was dating like a 10 year old or something. Yeah, she was 73 back then. Now she's 97 and she still looks half way normal. Dolly Parton, another example of a woman who just looks kind of normal at her age. You know, she's had surgery, but yeah.

But yeah. She's still her. She says those, she keeps, she's never touched the ladies though. She says she's never touched the ladies. The ladies have been all natural the entire life. No, she doesn't. That's what she said. Yeah, that's what she said.

She did. That's what she said. I saw Johnny Carson episode where she said, I never touched the ladies. I never thought that it was up from 50 or second. Well, I mean, I'm just saying I saw her say that. She's like, I'm never going to touch the ladies. I never touched the ladies. She's touched the ladies.

You think she touched the ladies? Oh, yeah, she's been having everything, but she, you know, she's done it gracefully and she still is Dolly. Do you think she like pulled them up or got them blown up? I mean, she, you know, she was in plans. Yeah, I guess. Did all of that. Yeah. Who else looks good with plastics? Mickey Rork is another one. I say, I say, make sure that Madonna might have the same surgery. They probably did. Well, Mickey Rork has a discount surgeon. That guy goes down to Tijuana for his work.

You know who looks great, and I can't figure it out. My sister and I are convinced she might be a vampire. Who? And that is Demi Moore. Oh yeah, Demi Moore does look good. I mean, she looks like she's exact same. The same, it's just same. Yeah, Demi Moore looks good.

Who's the British? She's like, she's had any surgery, but you know she has because she can't look like it but you know she has, because she can't look, like it's not possible. Well, she also can't close her eyes. So you know that their surgery has been done that. But I mean, she looks the same. You know what else is looking good is,

who's the British actress who is married to Hugh Grant? Do you know what I'm talking about? Elizabeth Hurley. Elizabeth Hurley is like posting pictures with her son a lot in bikinis. Like it's kind of a weird thing that's going on there. Yeah, it's a little strange. You know, I'm not opposed to getting a little touch up here.

No, no, no, no. And if you want a plastic surgery place and Chrissy and I are taking free plastic surgery right now. We did it, we did it, no one contacted us. They gave us an athletic green sponsor. What? Get ready for the inside out. Yeah, they were like, you're not gonna live long enough for plastic surgery.

So you might as well just clean that shit out. I know that we're big in Canada. You know, that's maybe we can do. I make a run for the border. I get the Canadian surgery. I don't think the Canadians get surgery. I think they're like, I don't know. They're not as vain as we are here in the United States.

But the good news is the camera's far enough away that doesn't catch all of our ugly spots. But I'm not, listen, if we are what we are. We are what we are. But if someone wants to offer us plastic surgery, I'll get my ladies done. I'll just share that right now. I would definitely get some done,

but I mean, there's a point, a tipping point. So what would you get done? So like, would you get your boobs done? I would maybe get, like, yes, something. It's like a pull, a lift up of something in place. Yeah, maybe you get done? So like, would you get your boobs done? I would maybe get, like, yes, something. It's like a pull, a lift up. Yeah, maybe like a lift. Maybe like, you know, some laser-y type stuff. Yeah, we get the laser-y type stuff.

Smooth the skin. I get to freckle some of my freckles taken. You know, I am freckles because I'm Irish. I get some of those taken away. But then again, when I go to the tanning, I get three days. Honestly, I work out, I try to work out. I get my eyes and my nose and my lips and lips.

Yeah, just your whole face. Yeah, my whole face. This whole general area here and then everything in the penis area. I get my balls pulled up and I get one of those pumps. A ball lift? Yeah. Well, I'm right in 3000. That's like a knee.

I need a nut lift. At some point, you need a nut lift. That's just what happens, guys. I'm not saying I'm there. I'm just saying, I know. I know it's coming. I know that gravity is eventually going to take charge. But I'll be dragging these bad boys across the room.

All the better for the DD canter. That's right. The DD can dip your balls in the wine, get a good sense of, you know, what year? Yep. Make a model. It's your make a model. I'm just going to tell the guy. I'm going to say know what year? Yep. Make a model. You're making model. I'm just going to tell the guy. I'm going to say don't bother putting it on the table.

Just put a couple of those. Some ramacans on the floor and I'm just going to splash through them. See which one you like. Just imagine I'm dragging my nuts across the floor. Well, I've been to napa before. Yeah. I've been in an affid and I just imagine you go into like Mondavi. Yeah.

Swinging my nuts around and throwing them in the one of the barrels. Okay, they pour seven a glass and you just set it down on the floor. Yeah, and I just like open the little flap and they just go pring. Or I just swing them around and throw them in the barrel. Good choice, sir. Good choice. You're not seven peck of a taste.

But as if you don't know, there was a couple of years ago, when we first started to show, there was a story out there to where you can. It's the they said they claimed that you could taste that men could taste stuff with their taste through their balls. They're right, they're tasty testicles. That's tasty, tasty. They're tasty, tasty testeryceptors. Yeah. They're tasty testeryceptors. So we thought, yes, let's use that to your advantage during tasty and why? Yeah, if you get, you know, the decanter or whatever his name is, you know, the Somali-A, the nut, the nut Mali-A comes over and he puts a little in a bowl with two ramekins.

Just imagine nuts, like a tea bagging, and imagine that they had shaped a ramekin in that shape or a small bowl. And then he would pour a little bit, a ramekin. And then he would pour a little bit in that double-sided ramekin, and then you would just splash your nuts in it and be like, oh, sir!

I'll take the chateau mamas. That's a big point. I'd be like, do I taste the, there's a chateau mamon. That's a deep voice. I'd be like, do I taste the, there's a little bit of walnut, it's a little oaky in there. A little. A little. A little little little little little little little.

I taste the little, that's some leather. And you'd go, sir, you're tasty, test receptors are amazing. How did you know that, sir? I can taste it through my chesties. And then I was wondering, does it come up tasting in your mouth, or is it just like literally?

We've ruminated on this for a while. I need to go back and investigate. For two years, I've been wondering on this one. Why didn't you just try it? Just get a ball of wine. Wow. I got shoulder. And the private gave you.

My own bedroom. I'm gonna ask her to dress up like a cat and we'll just throw my balls into some wine and Call it a night. Have a great evening Having a verse Yeah, what if we were all just walking around with our balls hanging out of our pants No, it's okay men men're already on the shit list enough. We're not balls hanging out with the pants. Speaking of tasty test receptors,

we're in the middle of love connection week here. Oh, we're gonna say something. Well I was gonna say, what about the balls in the back of truck sometimes, EC? Yes. And I find that to be a highly disturbing trend. Yeah, I don't wanna see your balls while I'm driving down the road. And they're swinging.

Yeah, they're swinging and they look real. Like they look real and it's like, wow. There's a view from like the hit. I know. This is what's wrong with America. We're so, we're so impressed by ourselves. We are. Everyone's so funny.

Everyone's a fucking comedian. Everyone's so impressed with him. We're so impressed by ourselves. Everyone's so funny. Everyone's a fucking comedian. Everyone's so impressed with him. It says, everyone has a comedy podcast. That's a very real one. No, everyone gets number one in Canada. It's pretty easy to do that. So in the middle of Love Connection, week three straight shows of the Love Connection,

there's two things, a Chrissy and I find, that get asked a lot of us three things, actually. But one of them we don't do anymore, so I'm gonna stick with the two things we do. That's Frankie B is certainly by far the one that we get asked most to redo, but he's on hiatus, we've retired his content, mainly because he's not making a new content,

so we don't have anything else to do, but just to kinda, so we broaden our horizons here. Number two, mountain monsters, which we just did a couple of mountain monsters earlier in the season, so we're gonna put that away for a second. But one that we love and that we've gone back to, no, this is probably our, this is, well, this is our third one in a row,

but I think this is our fourth, fourth or fifth, yeah. Is it we'd love to go back and take a look at old love connection episodes. Love connection is, as I always say, the venerable, the very first blind date type show. Now, they don't take the cameras along with, but a guy or a girl gets on the couch. They give them three options to choose from based on some short video clips, and then the audience decides on who they think the person should go out with,

and the person themselves can then choose who they go out with and they come back, they go on a date, a blind date, there's no cameras involved, they come back and they talk about that and then they find out if they're compatible and if they are not, then the audience can choose to have them go on a second date if they chose someone different. So you know how it goes, many of you probably weren't even born

when the love connection had their last episode. But, Chrissy and I love this show because times were different back then and it's just funny to watch people. I mean, our favorite is when they mention anything. Anything. It was sex, the sex will get in you into it. The audience goes wild.

They go absolutely crazy. She's so earning. Ooh. Yeah. These are the tips of the legs. Hey, I'm sad on the couch. But, hey, you're getting laid. You're going to get told you're going to first base. People were just so, it was just so different then.

There's a sense of naivete about everything. I didn't really want to be like, because at this point now, and I'm like, oh my god. You're like, you're gonna just say, you can put balls on the back of your truck and no one gives a shit. Yeah, in the 80s, you didn't do that.

There are no balls on the back of trucks. I mean, really, honestly. I remember when the stickers came out where Calvin was pissing on Hobbes, do you remember that? Oh, yeah. That came out in like the mid 90s, those stickers did, and I remember being literally shocked that someone had a picture of Calvin pissing on Hobbes, do you remember that? That came out in like the mid 90s those stickers did and I remember being literally shocked that someone had a picture of Calvin pissing on Hobbes.

And if you know what Calvin and Hobbes are then you're clearly, clearly a little bit younger than we are. But go look it up, it's a cartoon character or a Sunday Funnies character. And you don't even know what the Sunday Funnies are bothering. It's like I'm trying to explain, like the cell phone to cavemen. Like I don't know. Hey cats and kittens, welcome to the commercial break. Inside the commercial break.

You are the best part of the commercial break, and Chrissy and I want to include you even more. So do us a favor. Hit us up with your comments, questions, concerns, or content ideas. At one of two places, either 661-237-8296, you can text us or leave us a voicemail there. Or you can send us an email through the website, just go to tcbpodcast.com and hit the contact us button. While you're there, you can listen to all the audio or watch all the video right from one location, t and frequently to you.

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the human who said they love the commercial break, out loud, to other people. At the commercial break on Instagram or TikTok and youtube.com slash the commercial break. The videos are edited with a lot of love, care, and extra comedy. So after you listen to it here, go watch it on YouTube and get an extra laugh. You can put in your stash. We're going to hear about those sponsors now and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. Anyway, let's go back to the Love Connection Chrissy

with episode number three of our Love Connection Week. I was drawing on the internet. As you do. As I do, and let's get back to Chuck and see what he's doing here. Hold on. Second, we want to make sure, okay, there we go. If any of you guys want to go back and listen to the first one, we did, I think it was called What the Fuck Chuck.

What the fuck, Chuck? WTF Chuck, that's right You're a ball of love Good Oh I Can't Say Yorkie says

Socialize would be a lot better if you just stayed there. He likes to go to knife to me Women he admits that he's not as nice to his dates as he used to be. Please welcome Jim. Presby, okay. I mean, they're ball bitches. I'm not as nice as I used to be. That's not a great thing to admit right off of that Jim Presby, only by the way. No wonder he's never been married. If there is a candidate, if there has ever been a candidate on these shows, and I'm sure

this happened a lot, that these candidates came on, coaked up and weaseled out because it's the, you know, winged ining eighties and everyone was just doing cocaine. Yes. And our diet pills that was essentially cocaine. If there's ever been a candidate, I think it's our boy Jim here. I think so. His jaw is already moving a million miles per hour.

I think so. Oh, I'm good. I'm good. I just got it. I got a knee ball in my pocket. It's burning a hole through me. So if we get this through this pretty quick, I got a pressure hand.

Thanks. I'm good, I'm good, I just got it, I got knee-balled my pocket, it's burning all through me, so if we get this through this pretty quick, I gotta appreciate it, thanks. It's crazy, isn't it? Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it? How'd you use to treat your dates if you're not gonna treat them that way anymore? Well, I used to bend over backwards to take them out to nice and thinner, and do basically what they wanted to do. And I always got abused. Yeah, what do you mean? Oh, poor Jim. Huh. Abused.

What exactly do you mean by that, Jim? Yeah, like girls are running around smack and you cross the face, because you took them out to a nice dinner. You spend money on me. I hate that shit, no, first. I love it now. He's coming on the dating show to say that he doesn't

want to treat people nice and more. This is the beginning of, he's not the beginning, yeah, for Jim. Jim would fit right in in 2022 in some circles. That's true. I mean, sometimes like they wouldn't, you know, it would just be like, ignore you during the middle of the date or I'd be too tired to do something, you know, I work a lot of hours. So now, what do you do now?

Well, basically what the rest of the staff that I work with, we've gone basically on the no respect underground 87 tour. And basically, what? The no respect underground 87 tour. When you and your friends start making up names for the things you're doing, you have no women in your life. I'll just say that. Yeah. We're going on the no respect to get some pussy to 87. That means you've never had pussy before. That's what that means. That's what I did when I was 15 years old. It's the spring break in 2008 on 1997. Get laid to her. Make t-shirts, Jim. Hey, girls, me Carl.

Hey, Jim, it's me, girl. Oh, I just thought I wanted to call you up and just... I just want to give you a piece of advice. Don't name your adventures the 87 Underground tour, because it's not very underground. Name the 87 getting girls to work. I'm just sharing. Hey, talk to you later. I'm just sharing hey

Oh I Said that hold on no On the tour That doesn't The love connection is Top Listen if love connection is per stop on my tour date. Listen, if love connection is any stop on your date, you're either one of two things.

You're looking to get famous because this is a television show, probably at like 16 million people watching on a new given day, or number two, you don't have any luck with women. Yeah, a lot of times it does. A lot of times it does. Yes. Now, what do you have a special way to meet women? I mean, it's if you have no respect.

Hey, yeah, I go up to them and I punch them in the face. And they say, hey, bitch. What do you think about going out of the day? It works so much better than giving them presents and paying for dinner. No respect for you. And I just want to know if you'd like to go out. All right.

Well, yeah, basically, you do, if you've ever seen the movie 9 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 20 minutes episode of the commercial break ever and I have a feeling that's what he's gonna say and I haven't seen this whole episode but Filming air has been Mickey Rourke You do the Mickey Rourke approach and believe me it works. You know, you basically just sit there and you don't care You've got to you don't care attitude Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is what we're great for me in the past joke. I'm on a roll. I've So misconception that that actually works. Oh, this is what all these pickup artists say to it's like the basic premise of all of their Formulas way. I mean, yeah, there's maybe like a bad boy type thing that you could get into but never like was I like somebody that was mean to me. Yeah I mean bad boy I, but like completely dismissive

of all your needs. Exactly. It seems to be like, but I get it. Some people, and I'm not saying women because I think men get into this too, but I know I have been. You get into a fix it mode, right? Is that I can fix them or I, or I,

or I, oh, I have not been in that mode before too, but they were nice to me. They were, they were really, I mean, I did end of the day. Yeah, not me so much. Sevenies were very nice three, but you know, I get it. I do get the kind of, I want what I can't have or something's broken, I can fix it or no one else can reach them.

It's really a matured issue. Yeah, I've never had much of that. I started the commercial break. So I think the audience sounds like what will do. Okay, let's take a look at the tapes. Just like, okay, what you say? Let's move on to other things. The thing I hate about Chuck Wollery in this show, even though I love Chuck Wollery as a host to this show, it's not a very great human being now, but the thing I love about Chuck Wollery as a host of this show, it's not a very great human being now, but the thing I love about Chuck Walerie as a host of this show is that he can navigate his way

around anything by basically ignoring everything. Yes, he never, but that's the thing I hate about him too, is because he never asks the tough questions. Right. And he should. Yeah, but he's got eight minutes. Move along. Yeah, we're exactly.

Eight minutes and seven seconds long. So much to this, so much time that he specifically will be back in two and two and it was always two minutes and two seconds, always. I've seen full episodes with the commercials and it's two minutes and two seconds. It really is. And for those of you that don't know, nine and a half weeks

is a very famous movie. It's a piece of erotic that came out back in the early, or late 80s. And let me tell you something. In the late 80s, this was basically porn. It was like super, there were a lot of tits in the ass in this movie. Kim Basinger, Mickey Rork.

Kim Basinger, Mickey Rork. And Mickey Rork played this like too cool for school. Detective or some sort of, to take your clothes off. I'm a rip-y-arp, but blouse off with my teeth. I'm gonna squirt mustard on your tits and lick it with my dick. I mean, it's just like, it was like a rather raunchy movie. Nine and a half weeks came on HBO.

I mean, you know, if you and you were a teenage boy, they were finding a way to watch you nine and a half weeks alone in your bedroom. The word nine and a half weeks basically caused a lot of guys my age to ejaculate. I'm just sharing that right now. Nine and a half weeks basically caused a lot of guys my age to ejaculate i'm just sharing that right now not it uh... it's true sauner remember you're going to vote again

first was uh... robby now she was born uh... on air force based in germany her hobbies include painting and drawing, and she dates about every other night. She says that she ever has her night. She's the 80s was awesome. I know.

I know. And then you. I know. Two days. Now that like the teenagers and the 20s, some of the day don't date. They don't even want to go into a relationship. They don't want to have sex.

They don't want to talk on the phone. Yeah, they're to have sex. They don't want to talk on the phone. Yeah, they're afraid of sex. They don't want to talk on the phone. They text each other. They ghost each other. They scroll right. I know. So weird.

You're missing out on so much awesome stuff. She got a big surprise on her last date. Here's what happened. He took off his glasses. Oh, this guy's good. Look. Not too bad. But that's the glasses. Took off his shirt and went,

where did that body come from? Why do you just get a taxid? People's on his stomach? It's me, Frankie. Hey. That's Frankie. Look at my body. Frankie would have probably been about 27 years old, 30 years old.

She used 27 and divorced twice. She's divorced twice. That's what it says. Oh my God. She's the manager of a limo, sir. Well, that's a great way to get husband. That's a great way to get husband. Take off your shirt.

Frankie, you know, can you imagine a young Frankie being rolling around the streets? Hey, look at my body. And limo. Hey, can I get in your limo? Meanwhile, she said she's 27 years old. And everybody in the 1980s, who was 20 years old, looks 56. Yeah, I think it was all the sun. Yeah.

You never know. I'm not saying it word. I'm not saying it word. I'm not saying it word. The things are hiding under funny stuff. I'm glad you didn't take anything else off. The briefs blonde hair. Parted down the middle and then straight bangs.

Yeah, weird. Next it was malicious. You enjoy his horseback riding. Did that billy-ray Cyrus? Now she's been divorced for four years. The women in the 80s. The hair style. The worst hair styles of all time are female hair styles in the 80s. It's the worst hairstyles of all time are female hairstyles in the 80s.

And listen, some of the guys hairstyles were not that great either. But it seems like universally bad with women. Doesn't matter what kind of haircut you had, it was like, let's find a way to make females universally unattractive to anybody. It's awful. It's a moment. She's very hesitant about getting involved in another series relationship. A little more.

It's just hard to let someone like if they tell you that you're the only one for me. It's like, right, but I doubt it. And so I don't get it. Then they're done. They divorced a 24 like I would say. It's made. So stupid. Yeah, in the past.

Okay. And finally finally you watch Lisa. She loves amusement parks and she dates about once a week. Lisa. That hair has to be six feet off her head. I mean, those bangs are big. Look at that. I think this is 1986 is what I'm talking about. That's a lot of awkwardness.

She'll be perfectly happy just being a housewife. And she tells us about the last man she's been. That is a walking fire hazard. It really is. If you come anywhere near a flame. People smoked a lot oh yeah yeah like america's funny some videos back in the early nineties there was a lot of

funny home videos of women's hair going up in fire because they were smoking we went to a friend of mine's party and we were you know just walking around and stuff and he out of the blue it was a brandy house walked right through the screen door and brandyucondo and everything and I was so embarrassed. I walked through a plate glass window the night before my wedding.

I did. No, I know. I remember he telling me. It's a true story. I'll go right through it. I know. I remember you telling me. It's a true story. Fuck, right there. It took a dip in the ocean. That two in the morning. No one could find me.

They had the coast guard out there. Meanwhile, I was fine. I was with the fishes. OK, now there's a three women that Jim had to choose from. Steinbeaut of Boat decided who you think you should go out with. What's his interest again? What's the user choice for Jim? Oh, it's user choice? What's that?

Do they say user choice for Jim? Well, yeah. Well, no, they pick the choice. Yeah, I think it's... So he's just letting them choose. That's it. Some of them. Very rarely. Okay. The guy or girl will allow the audience to choose. But it's not what that is. That is allowed. I think so. I is allowed. I think so

Like screaming ever change anybody's mind. I'm gonna wait in here with everybody else I have to say I'm not choosing first no way no sorry bomb What did they say? Someone yelled number one, and I think there was a two in there possibly a three Maybe I'll get the vote individually. Yeah, you vote individually. Shut up and keep it to yourselves We're out of time, so we're gonna find out who you're gonna So let's fast forward here. We go now Jim's gonna come back next the next day that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that let's find out what jim has to say that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that And he rarely dates the same woman more than that. That's a way to get him, Jim.

Well, the first one I don't respect you. Second of all, my mom comes first. Yeah, I want to go out. First of all, you're paying. The second of all, you're picking me up. Third of all, works always going to come first. Fourth of all, if you have children, they're your responsibility. Fifth of all, I'm'm gonna be dating other people. What do you think?

You wanna go on a date or can I give you my number? Oh. Month, please welcome James Presiosi. And the body on the bottom, dance, I see. Okay. And what usually happens after a month? What usually happens after a month is that either she gets sick. Okay. Now what usually happens after a month? What usually happens after a month is that either she gets sick of me. Oh, usually happens if her mother is there get their period and then I'm out of there.

You don't say in joke. That's what. What do you want me to stick around for a week and not get laid? You got a friend I can call. I mean, come on, make plans. Conditency plans. All right, I get sick of her and break it off. Now, basically what usually is that if I'm going to break it off, I usually say that

hey, I have to go back to New York for six months or depending on the time of year because they're rates of cheaper now. Tell them you have to go over to Western Europe or something like that. And then you just need to go back to Western Europe. That's a rather elaborate story to break up with someone after a month. That's stupid. I gotta go to Czechoslovakia, do some CIA work. That's not even my work, I always do CIA work. That's not even my work always be first.

Usually what I do is I go get an all-man-putated, and I say, well, I gotta go over to Russia and get that cheap surgery for my arm. Problem is I'm running out of arms, Chuck. Oh, you guys! That's an elaborate storage room. I'm going to start thinking about glass eyeballs. You know what I'm saying? The last search here is air fairs cheap. Yeah, air fairs cheap.

You checked the air fair? There wasn't even internet back then. Tell to airline for a reservation system. How can I help you? Yeah, it's been about a month with this chick. I got to break up with it. You got any cheap airfare I can pretend that I'm using. Oh, HM, yeah. Today's special to the South of France, $2,000 for runway. I can't even have that kind of money. I don't have that kind of pretend money. Thinking that's something cheaper? That's so stupid.

Just a big office of money? Or that he's going to need your first six months he'll say one of those things. Yeah, one of those two things. Like, I mean, what about when you're out the next week and you're at the bottom? Yeah. You're dating her friend.

I mean, how big can a town be? Hey. Hey. Hey, six months I was gonna go for six months, but turns out the CIA didn't need me that long. You know, the CIA, they're flaky. Still don't want to go out with you. You're going out of town. No, you're Western Europe.

Yeah, Western Europe sounds good. Oh, we're going to remind everybody what happened yesterday. Because Chuck says why you just say you're going out of town. Yeah, Chuck says what you just lie. He's like I did. I did. The West or Year? Yeah.

The choices they voted for one. We're gonna take a look at all three women again and catch you up. First there's Robbie. Her hobby is to include painting and drawing and she dates about every other night. It dates a lot. Most is divorced. Thank you, guys. She's a lot this is the forest the

chak jack what a fact that she's a loose and you know what i mean what the fact chak he is very hesitant about getting

involved in a serious relationship Lisa thinks that she'll be perfectly happy just being a housewife now the audience vote was recorded yesterday. We're gonna get to the game. Hi Lisa. Hey, hi. Later on, but right now, James is gonna tell us who he chose.

Who did I choose? Who did you choose? Oh yeah, I chose Robbie. Who did I choose? I forgot. Oh my God, come on man. You're a douche. Yeah.

I was like, no respect. Was that part of his like, no respect. Yeah, that's part of his no respect. Meeness. Who did I choose again? Who did I choose again? Something broad. Oh yeah. It's so broad. Robbie. Does it really headed to Winston Europe after this. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show. Thank you.

Just make yourself a home back there, OK? Hi, how are you? All righty. Tell me about the dump about the dish. Yeah. I got there about a half hour early, to be honest, because I didn't know how long the drive would be. Yeah.

So no problems finding her place. Uh, I did get lost, made a phone call and said, okay, you know, she gave me directions, got there. Very nice place. Pulled over, used to pay for. She was up there. Yeah. She was up there.

Yeah. And I said there's a bottle of wine. You know, had a couple of less wine. And, uh, we had the road. Didn't we just, no, I have a... Yeah, then I got back in the car and took off with Outer. I made her walk. I was drunk.

Yeah, I was drunk, so I made her walk. This is going on for about half hour. Oh really? 45 minutes. You're sipping on a wine and waiting. Wine and waiting. Well, you were half hour early, dude. Yeah, you're the one who showed up early.

And it's a half hour, really that long. I mean, on end of the grand scheme of things. No. What happened to that grand scheme of things Yeah, well she had to come down so yeah, she did come down You know this is gonna be maybe the strangest date we've ever So then what happened was that I was wearing a tie now I never wear a tie except the funerals and weddings. Okay, and Immediately she didn't like my time. Why were you wearing one to this? Yeah, why are you wearing one to a first date? Man, the 80s is weird. Who's dressing you, your mom? First of all, he says he doesn't care about women, but he arrives

30 minutes early, wearing a tie. That's right, and he does care. I don't know I asked her I don't know why she didn't like my tie But she took my tie off. Oh, you should I mean I took a tie off because he spilled wine on it You go girl I asked you you know why didn't you iron your shirt and he's's why I did. And I still, I can't tell. And I straight out the shoulder pads on him. You know, they were little crooked. And he had the beige tie on, beige shirt, beige jacket, beige pants, beige shoes.

It was like really washed out. Oh, exactly. Miami bicycle. Oh, that is a class right. Kacky on Kacky on Kacky on Kacky. Nothing goes with Kacky like Kacky. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Kacky on Kacky on Kacky. Kaki like Kaki. What is this? A fraternity golf outing? I mean, come on. Let's go. I think it's a fraternity golf outing. I think it's a Kaki like Kaki. Yeah, nothing goes on with Kaki like Kaki on Kaki. Yeah.

Let's Kaki on it. Yeah. Frankly, she wasn't good looking enough for her to give me that kind of con. Oh, God. She is, buddy. I mean, she's pointing out that khaki with khaki, anything, doesn't go. And he spilled wine on your tie, dude. Like, he can off. He spilled wine on your tie. The one khaki go. And he spilled wine on your tie, dude. Like, kick it off.

You spilled wine on your tie. What was your life, my tie? Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie.

Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie.

Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. Yeah, it should have like my tie. I didn't know Daryl Hannah was in good looking because that's how he thought I looked. He said, like, Daryl Hannah. I did. Yeah, I guess Daryl Hannah. I don't know. I don't know.

I wish we'd say anything. He would know. I've done a ton of drugs. I don't know. I usually say anything. That's what he said. He goes, I don't know. I'd say anything.

I was literally coked out of my mind. Still am. I haven't slept at 30 days. I was literally coked out of my mind. Still am. I haven't slept in 30 days. I'm waiting for this fucking show. Hey, ganky on ganky on ganky. I'm never ready to stand on the fifth of the moment here. You can stand on the fifth of the moment. You can stand on anything you'd like.

Okay, stand on the fifth of the moment. What happened next was we went out to dinner. I talked about my work a little bit, and she couldn't understand what I actually did, or anything else. I mean, what exactly do you do? I do. Like, recording engineer.

Yo, he is? Yeah, he explains the co-downness. Yeah, yeah, of course. In the 80s. Yeah, I mean, you sit in this studio and try and edit three episodes of the commercial break, or we, without fucking hell Sorry, honey. Sorry. I got a little bit of a cocaine problem. Sorry the commercial break is losing money

It's in quickbooks under all night editing It's our biggest line item Literally It's online item. See, I didn't know that I was going to be out on a date with sunset studios wherever it works. I would have preferred taking an apple in my pillow. Oh.

He took part in the studio. Oh, he tried to talk about his work, and she was bored by it. But listen, you got to read the room. I mean, you can't just come in hot talking about recording engineering. No one gives a fucking shit. It's interesting to the other 16 recording engineers.

Trust me, I know. I know that what goes on in this studio is only interesting to four people in the entire world Chrissy isn't even one of them she comes in she's like, oh, that's good Hey, you want to do the sad stuff sounds good. Yeah great, but I Say it. Yeah, put it out do it To promise and what I just kind of tuned out What? I just kind of tuned out.

So what? Yeah. I guess he's the sexual vagabond. What? What? What? Is he fucking the recording machine? Or is he in the studio bone in the engineering equipment?

What's going on here? I think I lost here. I think I'm lost on this one. I think Chuck is, too. Yeah, yeah. Basically, what happened next is we had dinner. And she takes me out. Now, she drove.

She drove. She drove. She saw us car. I drive. Yeah. See that? Basically what happened next we had dinner and she takes me out now she drove she drove she drove He saw his car. I drive. Yeah See that simple Female Californians that judge you about what car and how you dress Yeah, I mean listen showing up and basically a painted catalytic converter with four wheels, where come over? And she's got like a cool, and that, yeah, cacky on cacky on cacky on cacky.

With cacky shoelaces, I mean, you know, if you get pulled over, you're instantly the cop knows you're full of cocaine. I mean, it's like, was there a sale at the gap? Because you spent too much money on bloke? Do you in New York, I'd stay here in California? Oh, you are. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. We're gonna have to get a car over next. What happened next? We went dancing to this club. Yeah. Did you get a dancer? I terrible dancing. You are.

Oh, yeah. Man, he told me a choreographer taught him how to dance. He did. And I said, he's definitely... He did. Stevie wonders choreography. Tell me how to dance. Ha, ha, ha.

I have the same choreographer as Ray Charm. He did. He did. He did. Prove it. It's got so full of shit. Prove it. He doesn't remember what happened. He sees this guy's bad.

Good for this girl. Good for her. Yeah. Happy talking because it's the only thing you've been doing all night. You know, I would have loved to dance with anybody else. because it's the only thing you've been doing all night, you know? That's right. That's right. I would have loved to dance with anybody else there. Well, you steered that, that's your how to get dancing. No, I admit I'm not a dancer. You're really during dinner, he talked about how he's going to attack me in the parking lot.

And I said, no, you're not attacking me in the parking lot. It's kind of like the parking lot. What is it? It's... I... It's a piece of work. I'm sorry. We can't keep you lazy. He's running west on the sunset, Oliver. Man, that describes how a Hollywood, I'm sorry. No, you're not. So we got my partner said, how about Lou, after Demo Deserter? And he said, sure, and I said, how about a little kiss. And he said, sure, reach over, give me one.

I stuck my hand in space. I said, hold on. I dug around back seat. Hold out this big Hershey's kiss, and shoved it in his chest. She's got this. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Wow. This girl's awesome. I wanna know where Bobby is. I wanna hear 30 years later, exactly how Bobby is. There's so many more details we didn't get here. And I wanna know exactly what happened. I actually thought her exactly what that is. Well, and that's because she's a Spitfire.

That's right. No man is. Um, I will kiss. Yeah. Yeah. Here. Here's a Harsha's kiss. That's a joke for the 80s.

Now would be like I pulled out my semi automatic oozey and shot him 30 times in the chest Basically that's real lame and you know she sat there on a video and says hey, I'm fun excited I mean that's that's fun and exciting, you know, that's pretty lame to me I thought it was what you fell for it Oh yeah, I did you told me the two yeah, I did yeah, by the way, for, I didn't even know. Oh yeah, I did. You told me the truth. Oh yeah, I did. Oh yeah. By the way, yeah, I did. This guy is a boxer rock.

Yeah. Tired's fuck is a boxer rock. I mean, as far as you were concerned, was totally unappealing when you saw her. Now you're all over. What is happening? Oh, I'm excited. Look up to the drinks and you need to crack it down.

No, no, no, no, I'm no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah. Yeah. Oh, girl. He said she'd want to get a ball. Yeah. And has a ball at her. Well, then that's a perfect fit for this jack hole. Would you like to ask Melissa out to, we'll pay for it. No, I'm going back to the bars. Back to the bars.

OK. I'm having so much fun there. Yeah, I'm a total, I get late every three seconds. I mean, I do. Maybe? Did I? I don't there. I'm a toll, I get laid every three seconds. But I mean, I do, maybe, did I? I don't know, did I? The things that work out as far as the left can I shouldn't, but we have a nice gift. Or maybe we'll see you again.

Yeah, maybe. As long as they don't look like that to you. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. That's great. Yeah, so the things that work out for you that we have a nice gift for you as well. And we're going to come right back big round of applause for him. Yeah, so I have a thing to look out for you.

We have a nice gift for you as well. And we're going to come right back with another couple, hang in there. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Chuck did not even shake his hand.

Chuck shakes everybody's hand. And he didn't even shake that guy's hand. That guy was awful. He was awful. That's funny to make fun of. His technique worked perfectly. He's got back to Western Europe. He's got back to Western Europe.

Oh my gosh, so much fun. So much fun we have here at the commercial break. I mean, what more could you ask for? We gave you an hour of our time. And we take a trip around the world. And we take a trip around the world. We take a trip around the world and all we get is our skis. Fuck you. Oh my god. Well, Chrissy, you know.

You can't win them all, but can't win them all. You can't win most of them. You're an awesome. Yeah, are any of them. If you're the commercial break. But you go to the DCcbpodcast.com, the brand new tcbpodcast.com, all the audio, all the video right there, one location. You can also contact us by hitting the contact us button

and comments, questions, concerns, content ideas. We're taking them all through the website. We certainly would appreciate it. If you leave us a review on your favorite podcasting platform, thank you to all of those who have all those who haven't If you would take one minute out of your day, we really would appreciate it It helps the show helps the show reach new people basically and that all stickers as well too if you like now That's not even going into that the fuck that we tried. I mean we tried

BTW Friday throw that one in the trash The listeners have spoken and they fucking ate it, so. We got a couple of people that said they loved it, but I guess the downloads showed it. I think those were stupid. Yeah. We get ahead of a few people who said they liked it and those few people were the only ones who downloaded it, so there you go. We're sorry, we're back on track. We get it.

Don't replay it. We're back on track. We get it. Don't replay it. We're back on track, so our next thing. Yeah, how would we get a break here if we can't replay episodes? What are we supposed to do? Maybe we'll take other funnier shows and put them on our RSSB. Probably it. I'm going to call smart listen, tell them free advertising. Yeah.

Watch our numbers explode. Finally, something funny on the commercial break. Uh, at tcbpodcast.com on Instagram and on TikTok. YouTube.com slash the commercial break 661. Best 2 Yo 661 237 8296. Text us, leave us a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you. Okay, Chrissy, I'm exhausted. I feel like listening to that asshole all of you, I'm done.

I'm done. I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you. And best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say. And we must say bye.

Bye. musicI'm aI'm aI'm aI'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a