The Commercial Break - Oscar The Sea Seal Savior

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Bryan once lived with a stripper and her mother. Unfortunately for Bryan his girlfriend decided to sleep with landscaper while Bryan slept on her bedroom floor. Then Bryan explains to Krissy why he was 15 years late to a court case. A sea seal makes an EPIC save when a pot head falls of his boat at 2am without a survival suit or closed toe shoes. Finally, Australian parents have a solution when their teenagers get a little rowdy....they send them to Ireland for a little Irish Catholic discipline! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I was putting one more tap of coffee in my coffee cup and now the corner my eyes I saw two guys come in One with a black hoodie and one with a white hoodie and the guy with a black hoodie said we want your money Everybody up front and down and I'm like oh This episode of the commercial break They're pointing out that it's freezing fucking cold in the sand of our birch and in the middle of the commercial break. trying to, you know, I don't get this kind of guy who's like, you know, manning the master or something. He's not out there sailing across the sand in my opportunity. He's putting around with his salt life D shirt on. He needs. If the family tries to change me then good luck I guess. I'm pretty set in my ways. Is this like low rider? Yeah. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- In Southern Ireland, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da The next episode of the commercial break starts now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You made that term paper. Very short. 26 years late.

So maybe more than that, 26. I mean, generous myself. I one time, I was dating this stripper. And the stripper had like a super fancy car that she had gotten. Like a brand new car. Yes. And when I met her, on the back, she had one of those. Did you pay for it?

No, please. Well, maybe in dollars, one dollar at a time, I think. Yeah. She had a, when I met her, I was working at the gas station at night, and her and her friends came in. I remember them. Sorry, not that specific story, but yes. They came back from the late shift, and I was on my late shift, and he was supposed to lock the doors.

He was really at our discretion, but they told us to lock the doors. Yeah. And so I let these two girls right in. I was like, this is like a bucket of barrel of monkeys right here. I'm letting these girls in. And man was it the worst decision I ever made. One of the worst decision I ever made. But anyway, so on the back of the car I'll never forget, it had tag applied for hand-written

and horrible handwriting and then kind of like masking taped on there, right? Where the license plate was supposed to be. Which typically you do when you get a new car and they haven't yet sent you, well, that's this never happens anymore about a whole electronic case. But this is, we're talking about 26 years ago. So one day, I am now living at her house

and she is sleeping with another man. The gardener, right? The gardener. She was sleeping with a landscaper. And she did, she told me directly. She was like, yeah, you don't even have a place to live. So you could sleep with me in my bed, but I'm going to fuck this guy instead. Whatever, it's a long story. Anyway, so one day I was driving, she likes to go get cigarettes or whatever.

And I get pulled over. Anyway, so one day I was driving, she likes to go get cigarettes or whatever, and I get pulled over. And the officer explains to me, at the time, he says this tag is actually, someone, the tag has been sent, but it's been canceled because the check bounced. They wrote a check, it bounced. So it turns out my stripper girlfriend actually took

the plate off the car because they had already pulled her over a number of times for the check bouncing. Right? So I get this ticket. And then there's no insurance on the car because of course there's no insurance on the car. It's not registered, right? Legally, it's not registered. Fast forward 15 years later and I get pulled over in the same county for I totally forget to go to court on I had bigger fish to fry like where to live and 33 p's big concert or chopper Johnson or whichever band I was in and I was just like a I was like a derelict human being right and so fast forward to 15 years later I get pulled over in that county yeah and they knock, they're like, you never showed up to court for this.

So the officer did not arrest me, but it became this big ordeal. And I had to show up to court. And so the judge who at the time was probably five years younger than I was, like I was like this, supposed to be this grown ass man showing up to court. And this judge is like, well, thank you, Mr. Green, for showing up to court. This time. And the. Thank you Mr. Green for showing up to court

This time and the judge was hot too, and I was like yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. I was like playing it I was being you know cheeky with the judge Yeah, she had none of it. She was like let's run a warrants check on him before we so I I ended up having to like do 20 hours of community service or whatever, but I Promise you'll get that term paper to you, just as soon as possible. Speeding of school and all of this, being a teenager, like a derelict teenager, I saw the other day on fucking television,

on my beloved TLC application on this fucking TV. Yes, sir. I saw an advertisement for phone consultation ADHD medication. You can call a fucking doctor and they will prescribe you ADHD. Have we learned nothing? Have we learned nothing? Right.

This is the hundreds of millions of people were getting their like, viket in this way for 30 years, 20 years and no one ever put a stop to it. I think federal, you know, there's 20 doctors giving one guy, you know, 300,000 code, you know, hydrocodone a year. And no, it's a real prescription or is it like the herbal? No, it's real prescription.

Equivalent. I went to the website. It's real prescription. They are giving you basically crystal meth. If you just call them and pretend that you have ADHD. I guess everybody has fucking ADHD. And this world, yes. This is why we have a whole society of children and adults who are all fucking twatted out

who are getting naked in Disney World and fighting each other. This is because they're all twacked out on fucking legal crystal meth. Yes. You can't just hand this can medication out like candy. It should only go to the most serious of situations. You know, I feel like Tom Cruise, when he was fighting with Matt Lauer, don't be glib, Matt.

You don't know what psychiatry is, Matt. You don't know what these ADHD medication, it's a street drug. Did you know that, Matt? Do you remember this interview? Barely. He was right. Yeah.

Tom Cruise was crazy and he was right. It was it and so this brings me to this story that I saw on television. I promise this is going to circle back around. I want to play this for you. Okay. I want to play you this amazing story that I heard and I'm not taking away from the absolute Absolute sheer fucking hootspot. This guy must have. But listen to this story. OK. The local voter who fell into the ocean thought he was spending his final moments on Earth. But it turned out that wasn't the case. Now that voter is telling his remarkable story. Now I witnessed who's reported Leo Stallworth.

I thought to myself, great, this is how I'm going to die. Great news, I'm going to die. I fell down in the ocean. I'm going to die. Got great news, I'm in a die, I fell down in the ocean, I'm in a die now. This guy is so stoned out of his fucking head, listen to this. Tom Timber reflects on how close he came to death late last month, this after accidentally falling out of his boat and into the water, wearing only shorts and a t-shirt in the middle of the Santa Barbara channel at night miles away from land, panic setting and watching his boat motor on without him

There it's going put put put put them like to be sure to be clear though What what else are you wearing on about like they made it sound like it was kind of bad if you're in the middle of the night If you're in the middle of the night in the sand A suit what are you doing you run and fucking cocaine or something? No, you shouldn't be in the sand of over at night But they specifically said he was only wearing shorts in a t-shirt They're pointing out that it's freezing fucking cold in the sand of our barbure channel in the middle Barbara at night, but they specifically said he was only wearing shorts in a t-shirt. They're pointing out that it's freezing fucking cold in the Santa Barbara channel in the middle

of the night. Like the dude should be wearing something. And how do you accidentally fall off your boat? I mean, the life's just a little, it's not a lot of voting in my life. I've never even come close to accidentally falling out of my boat. Maybe there's a reason why. Maybe a wave hit and he was trying to, you know, I don't get this kind of guy who's like, you know, manning the master or something.

He's not out there sailing across the Santa Barbara channel. He's putting around on this Salt Life D shirt on. Hey, dudes. No, listen, this gets so much better. I just, I have my thoughts on this, but you tell me. Oh, no. That was when I realized, like, okay, we got problems. It's like Goli. I realized like okay, we got problems

The goal is here is kill me and she's going sideways man. I've fallen in the ocean and I can't get up Maybe that commercial I said to myself. Oh, man And then put put put put there goes not only did I fall in the ocean accidentally but I also left my engine running and going Forward, but what are you doing when your engine's going? You're behind the wheel. Yeah. And I just started swimming as hard as I could towards the boat. And it really didn't take too long to realize like, it's getting farther. I'm not getting closer.

If I fell out of a boat that was moving, I'd know instantaneously that I'm not catching up with it. Right. And also to move away from it, I would think. Yeah, and how do you... That's dangerous. How would you like... Now you're gonna jump up on it. How are you gonna get back on it? You're gonna grab the spinning propeller,

that's gonna tear your body apart. It's just like, it's the suit is all kind of wackd out. Scott meeting a hell marry to survive. I was devastating myself in my mind, just picturing my girls and my son growing up without me and In dark side of the moon and how it lined up to my third of us. I was devastating myself in my mind. Dude, I was psychologically fucked bro. I was cheeking out man real hard. Everything was spinning. It's pretty cool too. I only had shorts in my Salt Life T-shirt. I was like, there goes my nugs. Shit man.

I have two bikies in a beer left. What am I gonna do? Oh no. And my wife, you know, not having a husband and a supporter. She's, and. You might not have a wife after this. And so like, yeah. I think dumbass.

Yeah, he's. What do you, I want to know, he's doing in the middle of the Santa Barbara channel in the middle of the like, that's what I want to know. That's a part that left out. But this where it gets really good. I was like, when is I wasn't thinking about sharks or anything like that until I hear this splash?

To Scott, that splash was like an angel providing him hope. That's good. The angel splash down. The dog was Oprah at first, but I was wrong man. Wait to you here this part of the store. You're gonna freak out, dude. It's just this little kind of medium-sized harbor seal. The seal would go underwater and he came up and nudged me.

Like a dog would come up and nudges your leg. I think this dude is hallucinating. There's a whole thing. I think I feel like me. Hey man, you done falling out of your boat. I tell you what, just sit there, make like a cradle position, and I'm gonna shoot you over to the boat,

right into the propellers. I want you to grab onto the running engine and do a little spin up onto the boat. It's a seal. Let's get out. It was a bass. It's floating around his legs. Did it know? Okay, this human is in trouble. Keep going dude. Scott now determined to swim to the nearest oil platform which was far but closer than land. You're gonna you got to make it to the platform that you have no choice. Freezing and exhausted. He kept swimming some five hours finally. Five hours. Five hours. This guy was high on something. Yeah. You got to be. He had 56 degree water for five hours with your seal but Oscar next to you.

So there we are, me and Oscar just swimming away. One foot, one paddle in front of the other I said to myself. I was having the latest fish album, you know, I go. Oh my god, he was definitely on something because you cannot survive. And that's swimming for five hours in freezing cold water. That's right, you know, that's on by fish. This is running like an antelope out of control.

I was like running like a harbor seal out of control. Swim, man, swim. So there I had this whole, you know, family he's used by me. Go Scott Goal! Making it to the oil platform. Get to the oil platform! Then there's Goals! They'll give you some oil for your boat! So I said to myself, I just get to the oil platform, my get some gas for my boat, which is certainly probably

I guess. It's been circling. It's been doing circles in the Santa Barbara Harbor and then I could jump back in and the little seal friends can it hurt me into a lather and I get back to the boat with my gas can. Cheering the platform, crying and I'm like shouting at the sky. Cruer. Don't get mad at us. Go! You're full.

You're the asshole in the Santa Barbara Channel where in the next week, you're gonna be the only one who's gonna be the most famous in the world. You're the only one who's gonna be the most famous in the next week. You're the only one who's gonna be the most famous in the next week. Don't get mad at us. Skull, you're full. You're the asshole in the Santa Barbara channel wearing shorts. Or, or, or, or.

Ah. I should have got a seal in the way since I started playing. Oh, man. This is, this is, this is, the cold scar. Get a gift to a hospital where he was treated for hypothermia and more and more Which we don't want to talk about because that would not make that Scott was treated for extreme levels of cocaine and his blood

They also found a bag of ayahuasca stuffed in his anus They also found a bag of ayahuasca stuffed in his anus. Turns out Scott was bringing ayahuasca to a party on Santa Barbara. So this is the children that we've produced. This is the adults. Me included. I'm not yelling at anybody else. This is all because we just give R of it out like it's candy. I told you, I think I took rid of it when I was a child. I went to this special psychiatrist that these things were popping up left and right at

the time. And if you couldn't sit still and pay attention to a book for longer than 15 seconds, then they took you to these fucking people. And these people just, they gave you some tasks where you know, you drew an elephant, you know, flicked a pencil around and said some words back to the side. And then they go, oh, ADHD, or ADHD, or whatever the fact is. I know it's a real, I know the door are people who really suffer from the inability to focus

or multitask and all that stuff. And I'm sure that there are medications that can help some of these people, but not as many as that are on the medication. I mean, I know a lot of people who take this on a daily basis. For what reason I'm not particularly sure. I told you, I one time took ADHD medication to drive my family home from Indianapolis

when it needed to get home. Like I made a... I had to go. And so somebody gave me it and said, you gotta take this, it'll help you get there. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. She stuffed it in my pocket and three hours later when I the second that I started falling asleep on the road Because of course I did it was midnight. I decided to take it and man It worked like a fucking charm. You want to know I it's crystal meth in the pillow format

That's why it's a fucking crack bite. That's what it is crack bite. You don't have to hit every five seconds man I'll tell you what I got home. I was like a video game. I was like five seconds. Man, I'll tell you what, I got home, I was like a video game. I was like, Rang, Rang, I was listening to my podcast and NPR. I mean, I was just like,

ah, I don't care everything. Stop it. Like piss in a bottle. I've been pissing a bottle. I mean, the 40s is something years old. This is what happens when you have ADHD medication

available with just a simple phone call. Everybody's calling these people. I can guarantee you. Oh, yeah. This is our next big addiction. This is our next big addition. This is our next big addiction. Exition, you're gonna find out. We're gonna find out 10 years from now.

There are people that are OD-ing on this medication, they're becoming addicted to all kind of stuff because now we're just handing it out like candy and the government is letting it happen because the government is complicit in it. And I'm not trying to be a goody-two-shoes. Trust me, I have done it. If you can think of it, it's been in my nose, down my throat, or in my eyeballs.

I have ingested it, or in my asshole. I have figured it out. But this is a dangerous precedent to set, it's my opinion. And then you also... All the call for pills, yes. Yeah, call them, yeah, there's a fucking pillow. Anything. That's what it is.

It's a pillow. Boater medication. Okay, I get that. You aren't killing anybody. You're just getting a really long heart on. Call them up. Tell them about your Bonaire problems, right? But ADHD medication, that shit's serious, man. Serious.

So this is how we end up with television shows, like the show I'm about to let you watch. This is an extraordinarily popular show on YouTube. Are you gonna let me? I'm gonna let you. It's like May-I. I hated that shit with a It's like May-I. I hated that shit with a teacher.

Father May-I. No, you'd be like, can I go to the bathroom? I don't know, can you? Can you? Right. I'm gonna run to the bathroom. May I piss on your,

on your, man, piss off your desk, shouting Freud. Okay. This is a television show that runs in Australia called Strict Parents. And the premise is simple.

Your child is out of control. You can't handle them because you're a shitty parent. So you're sending them off to some very strict parents somewhere around the world. Oh, other strict parents. It's not like swapping wives or what was that show? You know, it was... Swap. Life swap, but this is children swap.

This is children swap only goes one way. Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's it. Yeah, and this bad children. Bad children basically, falling your children up to someone else. You can't handle them. You need a vacation. You need a Disney cruise without the kids.

That's right. I'm going to Keatonism and Jamaica for a week, and I'm sending my bratty little 13 year olds. This TV show. To Ireland, where some guy beats his children, that's right. I don't want to beat my children. So I'm gonna let you do it Okay, here we go. Are you ready? This is a good one. I like this Hey TCB family, it's me and it's time for the commercial break inside of the commercial break

Chrissy and I are looking for a couple of guys a couple of girls a couple of whatever's to come on air and play a A couple of guys, a couple of girls, a couple of whatever's to come on air and play a dating game with us. If you're a swing and single or your partner allows you to do this type of thing, please let us know. 661-237-8296. That's 661. The word best, the number two, and the word Y-O-Y-O. Let us know you're interested in playing our dating game and we'll reach out and set it up. www.tcbpodcast.com is where you go. You can find out more about Chrissy and I. All of the audio and all of the video of every episode is right there at tcbpodcast.com. A one-stop shop, if you will. You can also connect with us on our socials at the commercial break on Instagram where we create content you can't find anywhere else and youtube.com slash the commercial break where we also create clips of the show every single

day of the week and content you will not find anywhere else like tcb in the studio where we take a topic and we opine for 5 to 10 minutes and if there's anything that you probably want more of it's my voice please use our sponsors specialized URLs and codes. If you're ever in the market for their products and services, it helps us out by letting our sponsors know we're doing our job. And thank you so much to all of you who have left a review on Apple and Cas box and Podbean, all the other podcast players. If you haven't had an opportunity to do so yet, if you could take one minute out of your day and leave us a rating and or a review on your favorite podcast player that's the best way to help TCB get to new audiences.

We'll be back after this commercial break. Unlike some of these videos I haven't watched too too much of this so we're watching it together for the first time here we go. Oh wait. Unlike some of these videos, I haven't watched too much of this, so we're watching it together for the first time. Here we go. Oh, wait. This Sydney mums says she's lost control in her own home. Her teenage daughter, Emily, steals from it, swears at her, and has thrown so many parties,

the neighbors won't speak to them. This sounds like blue. It sounds like my dog blue. The dog blue. The dog blue. Oh man, this girl's already said, this is my worst nightmare right here. This is my worst nightmare. How is that even happening, like throwing parties?

Because she's a single mom, we already talked about single moms and dads being heroes. Yeah, I know. But when they get to 13, 14, 15 years old, how do you control them? What do you do? You can't lock the doors. You can't stop them from doing certain things. You can't physically restrain them because Natalie knows just to call 911 and you're going to jail for the next two of them. What do you do? You can't lock the doors. You can't stop them from doing certain things. You can't physically restrain them because Natalie knows just to call 911 and you're going to jail for the next two of them. Take their fucking phone away. They can't invite anybody. Yeah, I'm gonna put

them in a padded fucking room. They're gonna get locked in dead studios. What's gonna happen? Yeah, with TCD running from episode one to one half one thousand and seventy. Dad will be good. I've already heard Shamal and Dindong 12 times I get it you were funny one One time you made it on the Apple podcast charts. I understand dad You don't have to tell my friends of the story every time they come over My girlfriend doesn't care that you had a studio on, you're on YouTube. Dad, that video's been up for 26 years, it's still in the S6 views. No one cares.

You made a show for old people. Congratulations. You made a show for funny 50 years. Yeah, so now you've got her playing in place. That's right, I got my plan. Yeah. Come to the point that something drastic has to be done. And if it's sent it to another country, to another family,

I mean, I'm going to do another country. And if that means I got to get a, if that means I got a pono off to some other family, well, so be it. Cheers, mom, high five. I'm getting my nipple pasties out. And I'm going to do acid in the Costa Rica jungle. See you later.

So I don't have to be here for this particular part of the filming, right? Right, I can just go on my own. That's right, because Mama's got a... I'll just watch on TV what happened. I'll leave her. Mama's got a five-way gang bang set up at the house. I literally put plastic across the wall.

Look like a bad mother. I don't plastic across the wall. Ha ha ha. Look like a bad mother. I don't care, I'll do it. Can you please not cry when I say goodbye, Mom? I'm so bad-seen. Oh my God, this is like, this is just my worst nightmare. Could you please not cry, Mom? You're such a fucking twat.

I don't even know what I do. I'd be like, you better shut your little fucking mouth. I'm gonna cry if I want to. I'm gonna cry if I want. I would just, like, I'd feel the compulsion to just drag somebody out by their hair. I'd be like, you are going to have some respect for me. I'd hate for you.

Well, it didn't just happen overnight. Oh, no. Yeah, that's a good thing. Maybe it does happen overnight, in the parent's eyes. Maybe it's like one day they're just sweet little children. Yeah. And then they get in with the wrong crowd. And all of a sudden, you're the fucking end.

Because you won't let them do drugs go out the boy It all starts with the boy or the girl. That's what I feel like the boy or the girl. I feel like if you don't I Don't know. I'm just this is just what I've seen with my friends If you don't allow them to love who they want to love You're about to get all ho holy hell's gonna break well, right? You're gonna push them It's feels like life and death to them, right? And so you're about to get all ho- Holy hell's gonna break loose. Well, right, you're gonna push them and we'll torch that. It feels like life and death to them, right? And so you're the enemy.

Yes. If the family tries to change me, then good luck, I guess. I'm pretty set in my ways. Is this like low rider? Yeah. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun As a prop-out authority figure, she's just someone that lives in my house for my shit Jesus you're 15 years old that's 25 you can't do anything you can't wipe your ass without your mother being around

She's a single mom. She's trying to provide for you. Can you please? She's the wee-s. Come here. I rolled my business actually, $20. My mother noticed that she's been in full. You send this beautiful little kid off to high school, and then one day this horrible little girl comes back. Then the exercise is...

You send your heart, You send your beautiful little princess off to school. Then one day some raging cut comes back and you want to murder with all the knives in your drawer. Is this going on TV? I mean, the fact that she can steal and knows where to go into steal. I mean, there's there's there's plans in place here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, mom would have. Oh my, but that was, I feel like this was, I feel like I'm the male version of this. I feel like this is what my dad was saying. This is like hide the jewelry, Brian's home.

But, oh my God. Oh man, payback's gonna be a bitch I'm telling you that Brian. That looks like your daughter, but she's not, she's been possessed for some time. Once I turn baby, she's been, she's not. She's been possessed for something. Once I think she's been. Dang, dang, dang. She's smoked.

I mean, I'm artistically. First of all, nobody smokes now, girl. Yeah, that's right. And what? And that in those other countries. Yeah, at Melbourne. Smoking doesn't kill anybody anywhere except the United States of America.

You go to these fucking European countries and everybody has a cigarette every once in a blue moon and they all live so long. They eat fresh, they walk around all over the place. It's like almost like they engage everything. It doesn't a cigarette look good right about now in the third to four of our three. I'm serious, I'm this close to pick it up that happened.

Oh yeah, holy, I'm having dreams about it. I'm this close to pick it up that habit. Oh yeah, holy I'm having dreams about it I'm on I'm having one of those moments, but it's lasted like two weeks. I've seen people in their cars Yeah, I'm gonna get the ones to say camel on the front and you like them with an actual lighter Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When mom's your best friend, and it's natural, and he comes your enemy, and then also she's away from the home life. This is just easy. Hardy time. That's right. Mama needs a sugar papa. Yeah.

Mama needs a dough. So you just need some papa. Some papa. Or mama. Or mama. I can't enforce anything because I'm not heat. I'll tell you to get. Wow.

It tells me I'm a frowning mama. I love these. We're watching the video YouTube.com slash the commercial right now. I'm gonna do it as shot. Like a run DMC, arms crossed. Yeah, you know, you're like noticed about like shows like 90 day fianceing stuff. They'll do, they have these, you know, these, like these transitions. Right.

And the transitions, it depends on what... I'm gonna junkyard, by the way. Yeah, that's just the way the Australia looks all over. Oh! Except on the game. Yeah, it looks like a crocodile dildy movie. Except shitier. It's gray.

It does look bad there, doesn't it? Yeah. I thought I was a junkyard, though, that was one of those car things that goes up. No, I think that's somebody's house. They just had to keep it 30 feet off the ground from the crocodile, snakes, spiders, sharpies. Yeah. Wolves.

Emily's of the world. Tigger dudes. Tigger dudes. That's how you play a tiggery-jury. You get up on a 50 foot ladder. What? That's how you play a Dishy Rejury. You get up on a 50 foot ladder. Oh, I love to go to Australia. I love to go to Australia. She knows I feel bad because I can't always be here for them.

When moms at work, I get my friends over and replay drinking games. Jesus. She had a party here one night when I was working. I don't know what. It's got really out of hand and there are like seven police cars called. He is a good guy. In the year 10, he looks like a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's my neighbor. He's 37. He's a good guy. He's my neighbor. He's 37. He's a good guy. He just retired. It's taking me on his boat tomorrow.

He's gonna show me how to get fingered. I'm dead. I lived on the street. Oh, it's 15. I didn't know shit. No shit at 15. Yeah, but that's a hell of a party. Wouldn't you? I mean, it's really when you're starting to test things. It's 15, 14, 15.

I was going to some parties at 15 years old. They kind of look like that. Me too. Absolutely. But at your own house. I didn't do it. I didn't. I we all we did it when dad was out of town for a day.

My mom was like a hawk She stayed up overnight and then slept late. Yeah, so did my mom One day I can she tell she tells you can she tell one day I had to go to the hospital I couldn't figure out how to open the front door. Oh, I got so paranoid After smoking some like laced weed remember back in the 90s It was like popular to lace your weed with like embalming fluid Like cheap shitty Mexican weed with embalming and so it would just make you super fucking paranoid And like you were you couldn't breathe and your head was gonna explode

and your eyeball fell out. And so I was not looking good. And my friends around me were like, dude, you're not looking good. We're gonna take you home. And they took me home and they dropped me off. And I couldn't figure out how to open the front door. So I had to ring the doorbell.

It's like one o'clock at the morning and my dad came over and all I could say was take me to the hospital. What? What? What every parent wants to hear my dad is so proud your home If my dad was like why I can't think He was like he made me sign the hospital paperwork. He was like you're paying for it

for work. He was like, you're paying for it. I had a bill from that fucking house, but I think I'm still paying on that bill from that hospital. Meanwhile, they gave me a shot of value. It told me to take a nap. They were like, we have actual emergencies here. Shit. Hood. Hello. Biggest smart house. And also the biggest party on the whole. It's not good enough. And mom was like, are you happy? Are you proud of yourself? And I was like, yes, I am. That's really good. I was really excited about that. Oh Emily. That's really good. I'm really proud of myself. I have a record down. A Dave next door is bounding me. I've had sex three times, but two and a half. I have a good thing about everything in the future.

Sixteen-year-old Harry from Perth may look like a nice kid, but his explosive temper is threatening to tear his family apart. He's called an explosive September because he's wearing a Massimo T-shirt. He's wearing a Massimo T-shirt and he's got a just a mop of red hair. He needs his leg. Sorry, but this is like a school shooting waiting me to happen. No, I'm not going to have time.

I'm not going to have time to write any letters. Probably not going to call you either. Take that. Yes. They're like, thank God. Hahaha. Mom and Dad are gonna have sex for the first time in 31 years. Hahaha.

Sweet. I know. And Mom's like, you aren't sweet. Hahaha. That's amazing news. The show's even better than the best news ever. Show is working out even better than I thought. If I was one of these parents, I'd have a limo waiting outside.

I'd be like, I hope they keep them running. Out of the sun, you're seeing. Bye. Call me when you get a job in your own apartment! I'm going to fuck Frank Abil! So this guy's got two parents and apparently his problem is anger. Let's see, they're at the airport. They're about to send him off to a new brand new parents.

It's a stupid idea, very show. Very desperate, because I feel very stressed every day, and I come to the point sometimes where I say either you've got to leave or I've got to leave, because we're not, this is a really working out as a family. Made a wild dad like I wish you both would leave, full of being honest. I hate you, Fleming ass, Julie, and David, you're I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I know, the dad looks like one of those guys who gets rolled over constantly. Like mom and the kid. It's a way. It's a way. Bubba the kid are firing with the dinner table and he's like, oh god, Tim. I must be the only guy at work that actually wants to go back to work after I clock out.

Say, boss, can I work another 24 hours shift? I just set up a couch. Yeah. Office. Do you mind? Can we give it to those festival showers? We get a festival shower. We're gonna put up some blue tarp and a hose. You mind? It's all good. Dave, I don't understand why you want to work so much. You literally shovel cattle shit for a living. I don't mind really. I like the cows.

I'm in love with one of them. Bertha. I'm in love with two cows. I was one at home and one here. I don't even know what to do anymore. Only this one doesn't talk back. It just shits on me. If they make me do something, I don't want to do.

I'll stand up for myself and I won't take it. Oh Yeah, Harry big stuff. 16 from Perth Harry from Perth 16 won't take it anymore But you want me to do stuff. I don't want to do I don't want to take it anymore good for you, Harry How you getting home not really really sure. Gonna borrow $10. I like that. Yeah, I know. He's so angry. He's very angry.

He's not gonna take it. I feel like he has an album somewhere on the... You're gonna stand up for himself. I feel like he has an album on SoundCloud somewhere. When you're 18, you can go stand up, go do it. Stand up all you want. When you're 20, you're gonna be up, go do it. Stand up all you want, yeah. When you're 20, you're going to be begging to come back home. And when you're 45, it's going to be torture, thinking about when you do live at home, and

you forgot to appreciate it. Exactly. You still, you lies, you swear. Breaks the property out, puts holes in doors, pulls fences, gates off of their hinges. Yeah, this is where I punch the hill. It's got a very short fuse. It's mum that makes me the angriest of anyone at all.

Geez. I'm sorry, but Harry doesn't look good. No. Harry needs professional, though. And a hairstylist. Oh, because you mean, yes. He scares me sometimes, who front up to me. What?

No, take the knife away from me. Yeah, take the knife away with their cooking dinner. Yeah. Because Harry's constantly trying to be control. They're just trying to stay at home. I know. It's a transition with the two people standing with hands on their head. Yeah.

It's a showdown at the OK Coral. And this corner, 16-year-old Harry, from Perth, with his bad hair and his three-year-old clothing, in this corner, mom and dad haven't touched each other in a romantic way since 1972. Hence Harry! And in this corner, birth of the cow! Harry's dad's lover. Don't dominate me.

If he needs something, he'll do whatever he can to get it. And if it means somebody else's possession or money or a credit card, then he'll do that. That's not good. Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut, shut. I put a thing around, you know, I'd pick it up and you know, just pocket it, I guess. I paid for that phone. That phone's mine. I've had about 18 phones. He sold his 18 phones. He sold his- 18 phones.

What? What are you? Who could have heard you? I mean, how do you even- No, no, no. He's Heisenberg. Berr, Berr, Berr, Berr. He's the Heisenberg.

The Heisenberg. The Heisenberg. The Heisenberg. The Heisenberg. Yeah, why do you need 18 phones? Or what? I think they're taking them away and he's buying one. New one, are you buying, quote unquote?

With somebody else's credit card. Yeah. You mean, wow, what's the drinking agent? I'll throw it away. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, everyone is at a bar drinking. Yeah. Computer to buy six pairs of shoes.

I did have two laptops. I sold the first one because I wanted to get a better one. I got a better one and I sold that one and I don't. I got a better one and then I wanted a better one and then I got a better one so that Take that I bought you a credit card Guys I think my credit cards missing Hey guys see my credit card I had it on that hairy shoot and I just can't find it out. Oh look at this

I see my credit card, I had it on that hairy shoot and I just can't find it out. Oh look at this! A couple computers were charged. AustralianTitz.com, Apple Australia, I don't know, it seemed like such a nice kid. That money's gone. There's always one thing more important, instead of caring for people. Five Mom. In 24 hours, out ten nights. See a... Asshole.

See a shit head. In 24 hours, this little Harry's gonna get a wake up call. He's literally gonna get a kick in his little Harry's. If your balls haven't dropped yet, Sunday will this weekend. Because me, Dave, the Irish drill instructor! He's not afraid to shoot you in the peepee with this peebie gun. Meat jave's beating stick.

It's still got blood from the last person we sent there. He's gonna whack you in the tally. The tally whacker. Oh my god. It's hard to order things online with your fingers broken Harry and that's exactly what's going to happen because your parents have signed over physical control of you to the television production company oh see ya Harry bye Harry

enjoy the flight because when you land it's gonna open up and swallow you all upside down oh you. Oh, upside down. Oh, they're going together. These two kids are going together. Oh, you're great. Now there's going to be a third child in the mix here. Whoa. These two are joining the mile high club. You know it. They're going to get drunk and fuck yeah welcome to quantissia with the drinking ages nine Anybody for Yaga bombs The fuck is going on in Australia uh

County court county court Oh the rolling Oh Our own health reasons and we beat him because we enjoy it And we're getting paid that's right welcome mate father O'Brien. He's been convicted 12 times He's currently the priest of the house Come here that's a lie Let's get drunk Oh God, this is so far. 10 to 10 commandments.

My dear brothers and sisters, those who are the sasco Lord and the sasco Lord and the sasco Lord. Oh Lord. Runs a building company. While mom Mary is a special needs teacher with a degree in teen psychology. Wow, they have a lot of kids. Rihanna, Bavine, Myrine, Barry. Don't worry. Harry, around us, curl your teeth.

Don't worry, Jesus. Harry, don't worry. Harry, don't worry. Harry, don't worry. Harry, don't worry. Harry, don't worry. Hairy around that's pure of her shoes. It's been helped to run the household. It's very important that they learn from a young age that you don't get anything for nothing. These are okay. There's no artificial colourings. The two youngest. Wait, hold on.

She had a box of Capri sun and she was like, this is okay. There's no artificial colourings. Only 320 grams of sugar. Natural. Oh, these kids are in for wake up call. I can already tell. Oh my God. I'm dying to walk through rest of sugar. Natural. Oh, these kids are for wake up call. I can already tell. Oh my God, I'm dying to walk through after them. I'm unsupervised since they were 11.

We try to get as much fruit and vegetables as we can and healthy food, really. We don't need a lot of things to be happy and life to get by. It's not necessary to have four shades of the one shoe, or five shades of the one T-shirt. Wow. Well, that's good to instill. Yeah, I know, I want, I want to think, yeah, I'm going to call this mother and get some preview, preview parenting.

Yeah, that's good. You don't want, I mean, in, I understand, there are lots of reasons why I, I was one of them, one of the kind of the derelict children, like, and there's lots of reasons why things can go off the track. But if you have a good, solid, supportive structure, you should expect that they at least have some respect for you and the law and your neighbors, credit cards, your girlfriend. Well, you have to start with no from me. Yeah, from three.

From a young age. Do you know what my thoughts favorite word is? No. Yeah. No man, that's hard. Yeah. From three. From a young age. Do you know my favorite word is no. Yeah. Uh huh. And so now I just start saying it back to him. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. It's not a load. One. I just said damn it, damn it. Anyway, my parents got so angry with me and they said, you have to go outside and eat your dinner with the dogs because you're speaking like an owl. Oh, oh, you're what I learned. Yeah. Joe. Hey, you're going to go outside and eat with the horses because that's what you look like. You're a horse woman. You're never going to find a husband.

It shows a picture, it shows a video of the dogs, eating directly out of a can. Yeah, directly. They're actually eating the can. They're eating the can. They're not eating the can. That's right. On a Mary control what the kids download.

Weeknight TV is banned, and mobile phones must be handed in every night. It's a busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. They're like very secure, the most vulnerable. No, it doesn't. It's into a drawer. But I have a feeling that like with this dad, you don't want to fuck around. There is no such thing as a bad child. You need rules, you need guidelines. You have to be strict in order to love your children properly. Let's see how this goes.

Let's see how this goes. I'm dying too. Okay, so let's do this. I say we do this because we, you know, we only, I don't wanna make a five and a half hour show here. Okay, but I definitely wanna know what happens now. Here's what we did, ready? Part two.

We dedicate this entire week to this show. Yes. You wanna do that? Yes. Okay, so we'll get to part number two and then there'll be part number three. World Strict Disparents, we're reviewing it all this week on the commercial break We're gonna get to the bottom of Harry and Emily. Yeah, that's right mate. Don't you worry the commercial break is

Literally too lazy to come up with content ideas. We're watching television It's like when the teacher rolls out the TV and the watching television. It's like when the teacher rolls out the TV and they're hung over and they're like okay, it's not a video. Right, I'm in the educational maybe today. That's right. Well, that's one week of content. And it's a wonder why Spotify hasn't come knocking yet. No, they will. This is exactly what Howard Stern does on his show. Yeah, don't worry about it. Okay, well we'll get to the bottom of it. I promise you. Everyone will figure out what happens to Harry and Emily. I am too interested to let this go. I'm not interested to let this go.

Let's, okay, I know where we're at. I feel like there's gonna be some friction. Well, I mean, of course, it's so show without the friction. All right, tcbpodcast.com is where you go. If you wanna join in on some games with some prizes and all kind of fun stuff, and you're not afraid to have your voice used

on their voice and or images, if you want to be on video, feel free. All you have to do is go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, tell us you want to play games, and we will get back to you plenty of games to play, plenty of spots to be in. So contact us, or 6-6-1-2-3-7-8-2-9-6. I also have something to add, there's going to be an upcoming So contact us or 616-1-237-8296. I also have something to add. There's going to be an upcoming episode of Ask Uncle Brian.

Oh yes. I'm demanding it. Back by popular demand. I'm my demand. By Chrissy's demand. And so we need... I've got some questions in the works, but we can use some of your input. You know, are you having trouble at home? Are you having trouble with your children? Relationship. A relationship of vice?

Anything. Anything. Anything. Ask Uncle Brian, a new episode, a brand new episode to ask Uncle Brian. And Chrissy will moderate. That's right. So if you have any questions, you can hit us up at

tcbpodcast.com. 2-3-7-8296. You don't even have to leave your name. Just text us the question with the words Ask Uncle Brian. 2-3-7-8296-661- uh, best to yo. And uh, we'll answer. Don't you worry. Okay. Also, add the commercial break on Instagram. Please follow us there for content. You can't find anywhere else. YouTube.com slash the commercial break clips every

single day of the week. Too exciting. Okay, that's all we can do for today. We'll be back for part two on Wednesday. Ready? Yes, I love you. Best of you. Best of you. We love you. We love you.

On the bucket's universe until next time. We must say we always say and we do say. Bye. Yeah you