The Commercial Break - Our Changing Bodies 20/40

Episode Date: January 12, 2021

Season 2 is here! Bryan and Krissy are back and a bit rusty but ready... so give them a break. They tackle 20 topics in 40 minutes to get back into podcasting shape during this season opener... Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO ([phone]) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Facebook Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

God bless America, Land that I love, Stand beside her and guide Through the oceans, white with foam. God bless America, my home, sweet home. On this episode of the commercial break. And so with that season two, we have decided that we are going to do two shows a week. We are going to do one on Tuesday. We are going to do one on Friday.

That Friday episode will be available on Patreon, patreon.com, backslash the commercial break. So please go there and becomeslash, the commercial break. So please go there and become a supporter of the commercial break. Yeah, it's just so we can do things like, you know, get new equipment, you know, keep the lights on, feed my children, stuff like that get this anal print technology to the technology installed. So we do not have any insurrections here at the here at the commercial break studios I'll tell you what that Jimmy Carter. He's full of hot air. Just go ahead and stick a balloon to his mouth and you fly right up in the Mars

That was fucking balloons stuck at the top of I don't even know what to do. I had to make myself a ladder. What's a ladder? But don't a lot of them partner up, right? Like the blue whales do. I think the blue whales do. I think the other names of the whales do. I don't know. The humpbacks. Orca. Yes.

The Mid Atlantic. Beluga. C. Orkin, which is a beautiful type of whale that I just made up. I felt like a partnership with the Bel Whale when I went to the Georgia Aquarium. I did too, he was screaming. Kut me out here! It's a tiny little place! It's too small. Turn the water down, so warm!

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Season 2 is here. Hanno-Fia! Hi, I'm Brian Green and this is Chrissy Huddly. We want to talk to you about your changing bodies. We've now become a weight loss podcast. We're now a weight loss podcast. That's all we're going to talk about.

New Year, New Year! New Year, New Year, New Year, New Year, Screw You! Welcome to the commercial break. Season 2! We're gonna talk about. New year, new you. New year, new you. New year, screw you. Welcome to the commercial break. Season two. Does. Thank you guys for being so patient. We had to take a break.

We had to be with our families. We had to relax a little while. Luckily, nothing eventful happened while we were gone. Oh, not at all. We didn't miss anything. Smooth. Didn't miss anything. We did.

Popped right into 2021 with no underlying circumstances. Yeah. It's like birthing of pork you find. Attention, that's coming out of you of vagina. Speaking of changing bodies. Welcome to the commercial break. We're back for season two. How did you enjoy your vacation?

I loved it. It seemed like the rest of the vacation. Some people in quarantine. Yeah, it's like a... No, we had a tree up. That was nice. Really, honestly, it was like, it was, it was nothing fucking special whatsoever about the holidays this year. I feel like, except for my son, he's now at the point where he realizes what presents are and what Santa Claus is. So I have to say this in all seriousness,

there is nothing more enjoyable than watching a young person, well, my son, because it's really the only person I've ever watched that young opening presence, but he's two years old, two and a half years old, and him opening a presence is one of the greatest joys of my life. He opened everybody's presents too,

but he would like, if you said, oh, that's dad's present, or that's mom's present, he would pick it up and he'd walk it over and he'd put it in front of her, right? And then he'd just sit there waiting to open it. And he'd be like, yeah, go ahead and open it. And he would take every piece of paper, every piece of tape off.

It's the cutest thing ever. It really is. It really was. That A, it's just so sweet. I opened up my present and it was a Georgia Power Bill and a shit sandwich. And I got a rope. You got a rope?

I got a rope. You see that side of it? That's what I like. No, I didn't. Kristen Wick. I got a rope. She's like, and I got a rope. Everybody else is like, I got an Xbox.

I got a thing. And she's like, and I got a rope. I got some things from Sharper Image. A vibrating coffee maker, look at that. Right, it's waterproof. A vibrating salad tosser. Hey, I wanted to tell you about something real quick before we get into the meat potatoes of the show. Do tell.

And I didn't show you this beforehand, but I'm holding up a piece of paper for Chrissy. I want you to read that. Oh. Do you see what it for Chrissy, I want you to read that. I want you to read that. Oh. Do you see what it says? Yes, I do. Scientists. An anal print.

Yes, scientists are now developing technology where they can recognize someone through their ass hole. They're putting cameras into like facial recognition, but for butts. Excuse me, sir, can you bend over? I just want to make sure you can get here on this country club. Do you unlock the toilet with this?

Yeah, I imagine. I imagine you're going to start to just stick your... The toilet's locked. You're just going to start to stick your phone right in your ass. Unless you show us your butt. Yeah, we're going to walk up to your computer and just bend over.

This is crazy. You know what I think this is crazy to me is because there's a whole skit that Eric from Tim and Eric awesome show, great job on Cartoon Network, on Adult Swim, that they did about anal print technology. It was like a skit, about a fake company that was working on anal print technology. And now it's real. Wow.

They say that anuses are like fingerprints and that you can, no two are alike. No two are alike. I don't know to smell alike. I'll tell you that much. I want to talk to you about your changing body. Exactly. To commercial break, www.tcbpodcast.com let's get a little house cleaning out of the way here,

Kussy. It is season two, brand new studio, fresh faces, fresh content, new, and if we're reinvigorated to bring you some incredible content that's gonna make you laugh or make you angry one of the two, or maybe both at the same time. And so with that season two, we have decided that we are gonna do two shows a week,

that we're gonna do one on Tuesday, we're gonna do one on Friday. That Friday episode will be available on Patreon, patreon.com, backslash, the commercial break. So please go there and become a supporter of the commercial break. We wait a pretty long time. Yeah, it's just so we can do things like, you know, get new equipment, you know, keep the lights on, feed my children, stuff like that. Get this anal print technology.

Get the anal print technology installed so we do not have any insurrections here at the here at the commercial break studios located somewhere south of the Mason Dixon line. That's all I'm going to say. That's all you need to know. But you can go to tcbpodcast.com. There'll be a link there to the Patreon page or just go straight to Patreon Patreon. dot com backslash the commercial break. Please become a supporter. You get that Friday episode to you on Fridays. That's why we're going to come to Friday. It is going to be fun. But that's not the only thing you get.

You'll just have to go there and check it out. Also, at the commercial break on Instagram, I'd like to say that I think some of our efforts have been working. We actually have some more followers. Thank you very much. And we're on Clubhouse. We're everywhere. Go to the commercial break on Instagram, and there's links to all of our socials and

Clubhouses and all that. Okay, let's get down to the real, and thank you for coming back to season two. We really appreciate it. Welcome back. I want to say this about my break. I unfortunately gave myself an incredibly tedious and time consuming task when I said, I'll throw some best ofofs up there, right? Because what really happened is that meant I had to go through

and listen to every, well, me and Gustavo and Astrid and some people wrote in and gave us their favorite clips. But I had to go, I know. You did too, also. You were very beginning. Yeah, and then I had to go cut that shit all up and I'm telling you what, it took much longer than a regular episode does.

I was in this studio for half the holiday, it felt like. To the great job. Well, thank you. I think it's. I was laughing. Were you laughing? Did you enjoy it? Laughing, yeah.

That's all that matters, because you're the only person to really listen. Those other downloads, they're from Jakarta or something. Yeah, Henry Fonda. Henry Fonda. Henry Fonda podcast universe, not here today, but don't worry, he will make an appearance soon enough. Let's get to the meat and potatoes of today's show

Here's what I want to do for you Chrissy. Okay, I figured it's our 40th episode. It's the season two Yeah, look at that. I can't believe we made it to 40 fun fact about podcasting most podcasts don't last past episode number seven Most really do not last more than seven episodes I can imagine because it sounds like a good idea. And you can put it together. And you may be record yourself a few times, but to actually stay on track and continue on and get the equipment.

And I think this might even be our 80th episode, based on how many times we've- We've got to be relevant to the two hundred. We've got to be relevant to the first one. And I had to re-record. You don't understand the audience how much we have recorded, how much material there is on the cutting room floor, or I would call it the cutting room floor,

but that would imply that it actually got recorded. It's not recorded. It's exactly. But it wasn't. But I promise you we have tested everything. Oh, if you're listening, this is, we've done a good job. You can do your job.

We're doing a good job. I feel like we've already started off 2021 in the right way. Season two, season opener. How are we gonna top ourselves from season one? I came up with a little game. In all fairness, I know that other people have done this before, so I'm not claiming that it was my idea

or I'm the first to do it, but I thought I would take this idea, massage it a little bit for the commercial break listeners. Here's what we're gonna do. You've heard of... Sash. You know what to do. Bert, I know what to do. The shaft of your penis is very tense.

Let me... both of your balls feel very tense. You're carrying a lot of stress right and you're not sick. Let burn us and take care of it. I'll give you the bowscullo. That's right. You have, did you? I'm right. Yeah. Go back in the past episode.

Go back in the past episode. Yeah. Go back and listen to, give me a bowscullo. The best. The best of, and you'll hear it. So you've heard of 30 for 30, the ESPN documentary series. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, this game has nothing to do with that. Oh, okay.

Except for the name. Except for the name. The name is, and so another podcast that Gustavo listens to did 100 and 100, but I don't think we should be that ambitious today because we're just coming out of break and it's like a muscle, we gotta work. We gotta work our muscles out a little bit. Right.

We gotta lose that Christmas 20 and get back in shape here. I wanna, I've got a bowl here right in, that sits right in front of me. It's got 40 pieces of paper, it's actually got 45 pieces of paper in it. Okay. What we are going to do is we're gonna start a clock. That clock is gonna have two minutes on it,

and we are going to pick one piece of paper, and we are going to pontificate on whatever is in, whatever is on that piece of paper. Oh, this is serious on the spot here. I have no idea, this is like, this is serious on the spot here. I have no idea. This is like, we're at an improv comedy class and Boise I know. There's the best.

Well, welcome to Boise's improv. I want a name, a dirty sex trick, and a number. And we're gonna make a skit about it. And what do they say on improv or they go and and if and if and something and was and and yeah, there's a formula. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So yeah, we're not doing it because we don't because we're not because we never done the spot. Yeah. Just put me on the spot. Okay. And putting me on the spot. By the way, I have not looked at these either.

These were put together by Astro and Gustavo put in the bowl. The bowl was protected because they didn't help myself. So Astro like isavo put in the bowl. The bowl was protected because they knew I couldn't help myself. So Astrid is hiding it around the house. Some of the people that protected the Oscar winner that they are were always the capital police. But we're not going to talk politics. No, no, no. Let us be clear about this right now.

This is a politic free zone. Yes. We understand what's going on in the world where right there with you. But we're going to give everybody a break from that, including ourselves. Let's just have some fun. Yes, okay.

Let's do 20 and 40 right now. Are you ready? Is this a game you think you're up to playing? I'm up for whatever. I have no idea how this is gonna go down. We may end up recording this one twice too. In fact, this is the fifth timer recording. Yeah, this is the seventh timer recording this.

No, the truth is, it's our first time, it's good. We're on, okay. So, I've got to stop what you're doing. Am I going first? Yeah, you can pick one first, and we'll then we'll both talk about it. Well, hold on, I got it. Okay, so here's,

settle down, turkey. Settle down. I know you're like, like my son, Christmas, settle down. Santa Claus came, but Daddy's got to have his cup of coffee and poop before we can go and open up the presents. Okay, I'm going to start the clock. We have two before we can go and open up the presents. Okay.

I'm going to start the clock. We have two minutes. Now it's not a hard and fast rule. If we want to keep on going on one, we'll just keep on going. What's the objective again? I pick out a... Just pick out a piece of paper. And then we talk about it.

And then we're going to talk about it. Okay. Okay. It's 20 topics in what we hope will be 40 minutes. Are you ready? Okay. Okay. Here we go.

Our first topic. Chris, he's dipping her hand into the glass bowl. The pieces of paper have been folded up here we go. Our first topping. Chrissy's dipping her hand into the glass bowl. The pieces of paper have been folded up so we cannot see what they are. Chrissy, please read the first one. A secret society that you would like to start. Ah, I love this one. Okay. Yeah, but you can go ahead. Go ahead, please. Yeah, we're gonna chat amongst you. Oh, you want me to go now? No, I'll go. I think it's a society that would like to start. Now you go. When I was a kid, I don't know if you ever watched the gummy bears where they had the tunnels underground.

Do you remember? I watched Frackle Rock. Then I got gummy bears here and there and there and everywhere. Okay, the gummy bears had a tree. That magic tree you would get into that tree and then you would slide, it was like a roller coaster underground, made through these tunnels under the trees.

And the gummy bears would ride these roller coasters, rides all over under to the next place, to the next tree or whatever. So when I was a kid, I convinced the young man down the street that we had a tree where the gummy bears roller coaster was down Under there and it was a secret society Of roller coaster gummy bears that I was a part of as an adult

I think it's just as fucking cool And I actually dream about this sometimes and I'm not saying dream like fall asleep and dream I dream in my own head that I could carve out hollow my tree out back in the backyard and make a underground tunnel with a roller coaster to the front. That isn't a secret society. That and- That was way better than what I was thinking. What were you thinking about the sex cult?

I was thinking of like a- I'm pretty sure there's those already. Yeah, it makes me em or something like that. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I'd love to start a cult, but I think that there's, I think that all the great ideas are already taken. They are. Brand your vagina, that one's taken, yeah. The crazy. I don't know. I'd love to start a cult, but I think that all the great ideas are already taken.

They are. Brand your vagina. That one's taken. The crazy. Yeah. We could start a secret podcast. Secret podcast. You know what?

I feel like we're already starting with a commercial break. No one knows about it. Secret. No one knows about it. And two minutes is up. Are you ready? Okay. Here we go about it and two minutes is up. Are you ready? Okay, here we go. Stop reset.

Here we go. Brian's gonna pick one. Brian is dipping his hand into the bowl. Dip it. Dip it. Who won five? Oh, it's okay, we have 45. That's exactly what I'm trying to say.

Okay, here we go. The next topic of discussion is an ABC party. An ABC party. An ABC party. Now, I'd like to think this is like an ABC party like Sesame Street, ABC party, but I think this stands for Anus, Balls, and

Okay, and I was going to say always be cool, but you went the whole other direction. Maybe what could it also good to mean? It's an ABC party. Always be cool. Yeah, well, or good to mean? It's an ABC party. Always be cool. Yeah, well, or all boys club, the all boys club party

could be that the, you know, that the, all, which is kind of the same as, as Aynas, Balls, and God party. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, That's true. What could an ABC party be? Always be cool. Always be cool. That doesn't make any sense. That's not like, what could ABC party mean?

That's my question. It could mean a, beautiful. It could be there, but I was trying to find something else. Always be cooking. It could always be cooking. I was trying to find something. No. Always be cooking could be it can always be cooking. I that's that should be mine. Yeah, I have those parties every week or it could be always always be cock sucking. Why do I keep coming back to these references?

Yeah, you've got maybe maybe I should maybe I should think about why ABC secret and instantaneously about that. Yeah, you know, okay, so here's the truth Astrid gave me a one look I got to have one peak at one just to make sure we were heading in the right direction And this is the one I picked and I promised that I would not look this up online and I did not but now I am so fucking curious as to What an ABC party is this must be something that the kids are doing right now that we're not aware of But I'd say ain't it's balls? I can't. And I say always be cool.

Okay, two minutes is up. Chrissy Hohley is dipping her hand into the bowl. We're on number three. Okay. So we're each gonna pick 10. Cause I did 20 times three divided by two, 10. Okay. Cardi B says she is a very sexual person

and that she makes music for adults. I don't think there's any debating that. No, that's just the fact. Yeah, didn't she talk about her wet ass pussy? Is that what WAP means? Yeah, and I think this is in relation. I think I did see something on the news about this to where, and when news, I say, you know, like people.

TMZ. Yeah, TMZ. But she just had a baby. Okay. you know, like people. TMZ. Yeah, TMZ. But she just had a baby. Okay. And so I think there was some kind of, I don't know what there was going on, but I did, I do remember seeing this. I mean, I just think it's a fact.

I like it. Yeah, I like her. I like her. I like her. I think, yeah, I don't mind what Cardi B's all about. Didn't she used to be a stripper here in Atlanta? Am I right about that? Well, there's the other one.

I'm sorry. What? Yes. Nicki Minaj. Yes. Yeah, Nicki Minaj was a stripper here in Atlanta. I think I hope I'm I'm I and Cardi B. And Cardi B. Both at the what's the name? I think it's Cardi B. What is the name of that famous strip club? Magic City. Magic City. Madagascar. Which I've been to once.

Yes, we do. Incredible experience. It's yeah, it's not like a regular strip club experience. If anybody who's been to Magic City. It's like a full blown music video. Yeah, it is a music video come to life. It's more like going into a real life art exhibit. It's like one of those, you know, one of those,

I don't know what they call them, but like the pop art exhibits. Make it rain. What I saw there that night was just incredible. It was being in a music video, rock and roll or otherwise. And I loved it. It was great. But I only had the gumption to go there once.

There were other people asking me multiple times together. It's not that you feel intimidated to go there, not at all quite the opposite. Actually, everybody goes and they have a good time. It's just that you really have to have. You better be amped up, ready to go. If you're going to get a match up, say, have some confidence. That's it. Minute up. Ready to go. If you're gonna get a magic stand. You have some confidence. Have some confidence.

That's it. Minute two, here we go. You ready? Yes. Go for it. I'm gonna reset. I'm gonna start. I'm dipping.

Brian is dipping his hand into the bowl. We're on on. Spend the wheels. Spend the wheel. Spend the wheel. Oh my God. What is this saying? This is the home of Donald Trump's new social media account on Grindr.

Grindr. Oh Grindr. Grindr is the next topic of discussion. Well, hasn't Grindr turned into something else now? No, I thought Grindr was. It's just it's still going so far. I think Grindr is a dating app, much like all the other dating apps, you know, plenty of fish and all that, but it's specifically geared toward gay men, correct?

Yeah, which is yeah, but it's like it's more of a hook up. Oh, we always just hook ups. I think I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't I think I need a grinder account. You do need a grinder again. You would be popular. I'm gonna I'm sure I would be popular on Grindr. True story. I used to have a gay roommate. By the way, who fucking cares? Don't care who you love. It's not none of my business. Absolutely. Yeah. Doesn't, I don't give a shit. Just be clear about that.

But I had a gay roommate once. It was the best roommate that I ever had. Best roommate that I ever had. Until he decided that he had a crush on me. Oh. And then it got a little bit, I still was, I still lived in the house, right? I didn't leave, but it came to the head one, like, go ahead, no pun intended one night.

And it was like, we just had to have a conversation. Yeah. Hey, my friend, I love you. You're the best one you've made I've ever had. But, you know, go look on Grindr, Grindr wasn't even around then. So, when you're a sexist. It's, yeah, come here, I'm a Cra when you think it's like the trashiest of trash, if you're going to the back pages on

on Craigslist. Well, they took them away now. That was not called back pages, isn't it? No, I think they've taken those down too. They took down back pages. I'm pretty sure there was making good money on back pages there for them. No, it doesn't exist. Are you kidding me? Yeah, okay? Here we go minute number two Chrissy hardly dip Did you dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip Worst nightmare. Oh, man. What is a worst nightmare? Well, don't don't get into politics. Yeah, no. I know exactly where your head was starting and you can't go there.

Don't get into politics. It's not. We're going to be. I'm trying to think too, is it like nightmare, nightmare when you're sleeping or a little bit of that? However, we interpret it. Yeah, there's no one here to explain it because Astrid of course dumped the bowl and then left.

Well, like if you're thinking about it when you're asleep, yes. The worst nightmare is that you know, you're falling, uh-huh, maybe, and, or you're drowning. Drowning is a worst nightmare, but I think that's more like my worst way to die, right? But it's a nightmare. I think when you're sleeping and wake up and you're crying. I think my worst nightmare is that people find out the real size of my Johnson.

Well, three inches. I wouldn't know about that, but Astrid seems happy. She seems happy that that's because we have a couple of sharp or even catalogs around the house. I have a credit card on standby. We have we have an account with a grinder account. I say go ahead, hook up, honey. Go for it. Yeah. Truth is, worst, my worst nightmare, I think came true one time. And that is I went through a period of my life where I was getting sleep paralysis,

which was about the worst thing. And I fear even saying it sometimes, because I fear that it may come back. Yeah. Yeah, it was. I have had that before too. The things I saw when I was, I can't move. I can't move.

I actually thought I was having a heart attack. I was doing my best to get to the phone. I was going to call my mom. Why was I going to call my mom? I have no idea. But I needed to call my mom. I remember the first time that it happened. I woke up.

I was, She would love to hear from you. I know. Hey, mom, I'm having a heart attack. I remember the first time that it happened. I woke up. I was she would love to hear from me. I know. Hey, mom, I'm having a heart attack. Can you come right over? Hey, mom, it's been a long time since I've seen you. Do you mind coming right over? I think my heart just exploded.

I need a quadruple bypass. Can you run me by the doctors off? Help. Help. I'm paralyzed. I feel like I just use my nose to press the button. How you got Siri? How long?

Yeah, I was paralyzed, but I could see my own body in my own bed. It was the craziest thing. Oh, well. People say they see all kinds of things with absolute paralysis. And I just had one very weird experience that was like a small... Well, then you kept thinking about it and then it made you have it again. It was one of those.

It happened like four times in a year and it was just super fucking scary. Okay, here we go. We're on number, what do you have? How many do you have over there? I've got three, I think. You've got three? Okay, I'm on my third.

So we're on number six. Here's a good question. When do you stop saying happy new year? Oh, this is a good one actually, because I- Prop, 2022. I've been watching the news a lot lately, obviously, for obvious reasons.

And I've noticed that they say happy new year to people when they have experts on or whatever. And I thought the same thing, I thought, how long do you keep saying happy new year? I mean, I'm gonna go. it's kind of one of those things where like if you're seeing somebody for the first time in the new year. In the month of January.

Yeah, then I think it's appropriate to say happy new year. So, February is the cutoff. You think February, February first is the cutoff. Unless, I mean, again, if you've seen the people multiple times in January, you're not gonna say it every time. Yeah, that's true. It's just like when you first see somebody, I said that to you today. You did, but that's the first time we've seen the people multiple times in January, you're not gonna say it every time. Yeah, that's true. It's just like when you first see somebody, I said that to you today.

You did, but that's the first time we've seen each other. You know, we've talked a lot, and we've said Happy New Year. When seeing somebody for the first time, so maybe during the COVID, or maybe we just might be saying Happy New Year on the year of the year. So the year. And that's it.

I feel like we should just, I feel like we can fast forward through 2021. It might not be a bad idea. I think probably, yeah, I think you're right. February 1st is to cut off when you stop saying happy new year. Yeah. You just don't say it. It's not appropriate.

Or maybe even like, you know, towards the end of January. Yeah. Valentine's Day. You know what I saw? Valentine's Day. You know what I saw on December, fucking 27th in the grocery store? Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day, cars and balloons. Oh yeah, they're ready. The fuck? Who's buying a Valentine's Day cards and balloons. Oh yeah, they're ready. The fuck? Who's buying a Valentine's Day balloon on December 27th? They're storing it away. But all that said, we had a birthday party here for Gustavo and I got someone that damn aluminum balloons that I can hate because all he do is end up

in the top of my 26-foot ceiling. And you know what? His birthday was in the middle of December and they're still sitting up at the top of the ceiling. So like a month later, they've lost forever. When I was a kid, the helium went out of those balloons. Four hours a kid. You didn't have helium in no 10 cans.

He wore pump and oil. You have pump and oil yourself. You made your own helium. That's what you did. No, you did, you stuck a bag to your ass and you fought it and it flew up there. That's what happened. So you make your own helium, that's what you did. You know what you did, you stuck a bag to your ass and you fought it and it flew up there, that's what happened. That's how you make your own helium, son. I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you what, that Jimmy Carter, he's full of hot air, just go ahead and stick a balloon to his mouth. And you fly right up in the Mars. Ha ha ha. I got those fucking balloons stuck at the top of him. I don't even know what to do. I had to make myself a ladder What's a ladder

Somebody said the other day if you pump an oil you need to get your tires changed. I said what's a tie? He said it's that rounding on your car said what's around He said the things and things that make Chicago forward I said forward I didn't do that sounds interesting He said you just kind of put one foot in front of the other and I said feet I've got two paws For them actually I love this character. Don't tell me, nothing. I've been alive for a long time and I've seen it all.

Donald Trump, Jimicada. Rutherford B. He was president when I retired. That's the greatest president we ever had. I think he served six terms. From 1722 to 1737. Terms lasted for two and a half years. So back to Valentine's.

Back to Valentine's day. Fuck those here in the balloon. Lots of balloon. Okay, we're at four minutes now. We gotta stop. My turn. Yes, it is. Go.

Chris, he's dipping her hand into the bowl. I know. You're like an ESPN commentator. I know. She's dipping her into the bowl. I gotta make it interesting for the people who are listening and not watching. Okay, let's see what this says.

The O hair double vibrating rabbit cock ring. Oh, I've got that in my pocket, you wanna see it? O-Hair, O-Hair double vibrating rabbit cock ring. That's what we used to hang the rabbits after we get them killing them for the fur. To make it through the winter. I'm pretty sure this is the one in sharp ribbing. Okay.

Let me ask a serious question. Maybe you can't answer this because Jeff probably wouldn't let you answer this. But I'm going to ask it anyway. Have you ever used a cockering? Has a cockering ever been a part of your repertoire? Let's just say that I like experimentation. Okay, all right. If you, if you had,

I mean, not really, it out, really, it is. Okay, if you had ever used a cock ring, would you say that it would enhance the experience? I mean, there's a reason why they're popular. I didn't realize they were popular. They are, they are. They're popular. Got green in my days,

was you took a branch and wrapped it around the guy. He's the aluminum foil. Yeah, a piece of aluminum foil. I know I've heard a lot of talk about cock rings. I've seen them. I know what they look like. They're there to keep the cock eggs are hard. Is that essentially what they do?

And then they can kind of hit against the clitoris. Is that how it goes? I mean, I think so. I want to talk to you about your changing bodies. I'm changing bodies. I'm changing bodies. So, yeah, it's for so those are you, but this is like a double rabbit.

What does that say? Yeah, no, the, oh, the, oh hair. I love the name, the, oh hair. Where, no, you get it at the airport? No, it's, it's hair and rabbit. Oh, the, oh hair. Oh. Hair, the, oh hair double vibrating rabbit.

Double vibrating. Double vibrating. Well, does it just do it once, vibrate twice? I guess that means it gives you pleasure and him pleasure. I think so, that sounds fun. I say you and him, like there's some stranger that's gonna come have sex with you. It does sound fun.

I'm okay with sex toys. Go ahead, bring them on the bedroom. Yeah. I mean, I'm okay with sex toys. Go ahead, bring them on the bedroom. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm okay with sex toys. If by sex toys you mean underwear. That's, I'm not going any further than that. I don't know. I actually have, I'll be honest with you. I've never tried a cock ring.

So maybe it's something I gotta look into. Maybe I gotta look into the, oh hair. Just, rabbit, double vibrating cock ring. That's a weirdly specific item, Gustavo. I just have to say that to you right now. That is, that is a great thing. I feel like Gustavo. It's a perfect thing.

His girlfriend might have that stuff somewhere in the soup. They did that just to mess with us. I know. His Gustavo's like, hey honey, go look at, what's the name of that thing we use? It's the O'Hare. Oh yeah, the O'Hare.

Hey honey, pull out the O'Hare, rabbit, double, vibrating magic, cockering with extra special sauce. It's like She's called it goddamn cockering. That's a good one. I like that. Okay, stop. We're resetting the clock Brian's putting his hand into the bowl I feel like now we're hitting a stride. Oh my god. She said some of these were gonna come in I have someone to be Nudistitarian a nudistitarian. I'm assuming thatitarian, a nudistitarian. I'm assuming that this is a nudist that is also a librarian. I'm going to say it's a person that's an expert on nude nude.

Unbeignured. I'm an expert on being nude. Who's an expert on being nude? Or nude is. Maybe it's an expert on nudist on nudity in general. I feel like I qualify in that category. I've been looking at myself naked for a long time. An expert on nudity.

I've never seen a nude. I've never seen a nude. Nudistitarian. I really have no idea what this is, but I think this might be like someone who's the history of nudism. Yeah. Like nudist painted. Like a historian. Pop culture and nude. Yeah. The historian of nudism? Yeah, yeah, like like nudist paintings and pop culture and nude. Yeah, historian of the nude

Someone that's really smart about the shape and size of testicles. I don't I mean, I guess right you would think that that yeah Nudist it's Harry. I'm gonna have to look that one up. I'll say nudity. I'm gonna say that, yeah, nudity. That's a fun word, nudity. Nudity. Remember when you were a kid and like, I don't mean, I don't know if you looked at this the same way that I did as a boy, but, thirt, twelve, thirteenth, fourteen years old. Yeah.

HBO would run a movie and at the beginning, right? It would say this movie is rated R for the following reasons. And it would say partial nudity, or nudity. That's what it would say this movie is rated or for the following reasons. And it would say partial nudity or nudity. That's what it would say. Parcel nudity or nudity. Follow language, parsity and nudity or nudity. Parcel nudity, you knew meant a butt crack or potentially a nipple somewhere in a scene.

But it is major cleavage. Major cleavage, yeah. Vaughan Jaree, but if they said nudity, a vad shot was coming and you better stay up. We're strapped in. Yeah, if strapped in was strapped on was right. I strapped right on. Come to my anal balls cock party later. The ABC party to you.

Okay, stop. reset. Chrissy's going to go. Is she different hand in the bowl? She's got she's got her dainty fingers in the bowl. I feel like I've said that before. Let's see. Oh, Star Wars.

Oh, God, we can go on forever. Forever. I do have to say the Mandalorian, fantastic. I have not watched it. What? You told me you'd do it. No, I only watched a couple of episodes, but I haven't watched the whole thing. It's really good.

It is amazing. What I saw was good. It's really funny, though, because there is a formula to it. You know, it's like every episode, not to give too much away, but basically every episode, he's going to solve a problem, and then that leads to helping. It's like, you know, it's like level up. It's formulaic. Level up. Yeah.

Good. It's great. We're really enjoying it. I love it. We've got Disney Plus specifically to get it. We don't have children. Yeah. It's got to be a child to have Disney Plus. Like Disney Plus has got a lot of great stuff.

It's got Nat Geo. Pixar. Pixar. By the way, the new movie, soul is incredible. I know. What a great movie. A lot of people said they don't like a lot of the critics. We're like, eh, it's kind of okay. I'm like, it's fantastic. Seoul is incredible. What a great movie. A lot of people said they don't like a lot of the critics. We're like, eh, it's kind of okay.

I'm like, it's fantastic. I think it's one of my favorite. Yeah, great message. My son loves it too. Yeah. But I'll say this about Star Wars. It is, it's- You have a lightsaber.

I do. I have a lightsaber right here, which you can't see because we've changed the studio. But- Doesn't work. It doesn't work at 8600 dollars for a lightsaber that doesn't work. Fuck you, Disney World. And. There's for a lightsaber that doesn't work. Fuck you, Disney World.

And now you can't even, and now you can't buy these. Now people are like, because Disney World has been like semi-open or semi-close and they don't have these experiences in person anymore. These kyber crystals, which is essentially is the piece of fucking metal that makes the thing work. Now people are hoarding them online. You can't get them, but for 700 additional fucking dollars.

I got a real life. Life, I've fucking life-saber. I know and you can't use it. No, I mean you can swing it around, but just like a- It doesn't lie out. Yeah, it looks like one of those, one of the light bulbs that you had in class,

that made you sick and give you headache. Made everyone look pale and it looks like one of those. Like a fluorescent light bulb that stuck to a really cool, you know, handle. And then it's supposed to light up and it does. It lights up. It makes this noise. For all for all for all the whole nine yards, but it doesn't fucking work. I'll say this about Star Wars. My wife Astrid has never seen any of the Star Wars except for the one that came

out that JJ Abrams did because I made her go and watch it. But she doesn't care for it. It's not her thing. And that's it. It's not everybody's thing. But as an American who grew up in the 80s, Star Wars was certainly the culture. Yeah. It's good versus evil. It's white, but you know, it's the whole nine yards and, uh, and I like it now. What Disney does with it next, I think is is they're mining it. They're mining it. That's for sure. But we got to get these last three. I don't think they're, I mean, they were okay, but I don't think they were all that great. No, not as good as the first one. Okay. mining it, that's for sure. But we gotta get these last three, I don't think they were okay,

but I don't think they were all that great. No, not as good as the first ones. Okay, so that's two in a minute, it's the 30 seconds we're resetting. Brian's picking another one out of the bowl. Brian's dipping his dainty fingers into the bowl. I do not have dainty fingers. Got hot dog fingers.

I also have a hot dog cut. Oh, this is a good one. Witchcraft. Witchcraft. Witchcraft. I'd say woman, see a lot of Wicken. Women who who Wicken. Yep, I did. I used to run and like the one I was a teenager I used to run in this circle. I was attracted to I I was attracted to women who could cast spells. I was attracted to the woman who put voodoo dolls together. She spoke me of the face and I'd go, oh, ow, stop that.

It's all making sense now. I think that there's something to this witchcraft shit. Now I'm not saying that there's magic spells and stuff like that, but I think the harnessing the power of the female energy can lead to some magical type things happening. Absolutely. For sure.

And so I've known some Wicked. When I was a kid, I used to be attracted to kind of the more alternative type. We're not straight up Goths, but some of those girls were into like Wicked type stuff. Yeah. And I found it very interesting. And I found it alluring and kind of sexy. Mm-hmm. Until once stuck a broom, stick up my ass.

That stopped it. And it's like, the fly anyway. Yeah. Do you have any friends that were into Wikim that were like witchcraft and they decide? I don't. I used to do the Ouija board though. I thought I think that's witchcraft.

Yeah. I think that's which credit. Yeah. I think that's Milton, Milton Bradley. The best is yet to come. Uh, yeah. You know, Ouija board, we don't know that's a bunch of bullshit. Well, but it did tell me it predicted who I would marry. But did it really or did the person who? It was the day EF.

Did it say J-E-F-F? Come on. Was Jeff the one that was doing the Ouija board? Went to you? Jeff and I did the Ouija board. Jeff, who am I gonna marry? And Jeff is like, and Jeff is like literally taking your hand. You did a Ouija board on your honeymoon?

No. Was that before or after the cock ring? Oh, hair magic, rabbit 3000. Ah, ah. Oh, god, it did. Okay, all right, next. Chrissy's up next. Am I next?

I like this game. I'm going to do it. I like this game. I'm gonna do it I just want to make sure I went one two three four five make sure Okay, so the weirdest smell you've ever smelled Which just makes you laugh in general because it's that old thing of like this smells bad smell it You were telling me you did that to me like our last episode you're like here smell this and I was like Why. I'm not. And our asker is smell. And she smells it. And then she gets, wait, why don't I just smell that? What, what are we doing?

So the weirdest. The weirdest. So not the baddest, but the weirdest. Not the worst, but the weirdest. I would have to say maybe like wasabi. I think I would say a widespread panic concept. I've got a tickles of nose. Wasabi is good.

Wasabi is an interesting one. I, so, as her night lived in Switzerland for a period of time while she finished her master's degree. And we went to Zurich and when we were in Zurich, it's the middle of the winter, so it's very cold, but they have, everyone has a patio, and they have these heaters out on the patio, right? Yeah.

But we were walking past this one patio and I was almost sick, like instantaneously, hit with this smell and I was almost sick. It was a fondue place. And the smell of the cheese, cooking, whatever kind of cheese that it was, Yarlesburg or whatever the fuck they were cooking. Yeah. It was so pungent to me. My nose is sensitive, fun fact about Brian. I can be in my bedroom, and my dog, one of my dogs,

still will poop on a pad, you know, because she's not fully house-trained, even though she's 12 years old. It's a little shithead. So, but I can be in one end of the house, and I can smell her shit from the other end of the house. My nose is extraordinarily sensitive. So when this hit me, it made me sick

in a way that I've never been sick and by a smell before. It was incredibly potent. Cheese. So then we walked by that, and then Astrid says, I really would like Fondue that sounds good. And I said, yeah, can we just not do that place? Because it's got, so a couple doors down,

because it's Switzerland, and then there's, you know, Fondue place on every corner. We went to another fondue place. We opened the door, we opened the second door to get in and the smell was even more, it was a different smell that was even more incredibly pungent, literally, hardly. I was like instantaneously wanted to throw up.

Well, that sounds like a worse smell. It's a worse but it was weird. That it made me, that's, take that quick. Okay. Oh, we're way past this one. Okay, here we go. It was weird that it made me that's pick that quick, okay Where way past this one, okay, here we go. All right reset is my turn. It's our turn. Okay resetting him Putting my fat hot dog Fat pork sausage and Okay, I've got one. Oh, well, this is interesting

Partner whale it says partner whale. Partner whale. Hmm. Well, so there's a- Partner whale. What do you think about this? What do you think about this one? So there's an interesting story about whales

that I just read about. Please, do tell. They just have a partner. I have a partner. Please do tell. They just have a partner. Partner. And that my friends is why you listen to the commercial break every week. Partner whale. And let's think about this means Okay, partner whales a whale of a partner, right? It's a whale of a partner whale of a partner. If you see my hundred six six hundred pound life. No. Okay. Um, you know, don't even go there.

Back to weird smell. Just kidding. Yeah. That's six hundred pound life is a crazy television show. I feel for those people I really do. A partner whale is obviously a whale that has a partner. I mean, I'm just thinking it's like the part that don't a lot of the whale partner up, but don't a lot of them partner up, right? Like the blue whales do.

I think they do. I think the blue whales do. I think the other names of the whales do. I don't know the humpbacks. Orca. Yes, the mid Atlantic. Baluga. Sea Orcan, which is a beautiful type of whale

that I just made up. I felt like a partnership with the Balugaale when I went to the Georgia Aquarium. I did too. He was screaming. Cute me out here. It's a tiny little place. That's too small. Turn the water down so warm.

I know. I feel bad for those Balooge Whales in the... I love them. They're adorable. They came right up to the glass to me. I know. To me. I was connecting with them. I believe them. They're adorable. They can write up to the glass to me. I know. To me. I was connecting with them. I believe it.

I was partnering. I believe it. I was partnering up with them. You were partnering with the whale. Yes, that was partnering with them. There is a woman in Sweden, I think is what it is. She is a scientist, a researcher. Oh no, she's in Russia, actually.

She has been going into the Arctic waters to study this rare kind of whale naked. So she dumps, jumps in naked and then she gets close to them and they like rub their bodies up against her. I bet that whale's like, I'm gonna fuck this girl. Hey, did you see that chicken in the water? I used my oh hey, I have three thousand five rated whale dick. That's what a whale partner is.

Got it. I think a whale partner is. Got it. I think a whale partner is someone who treats you nicely. It's a whale who treats you kindly, calls, returns your phone calls, and respects your body. That's what I think. We're talking about changing bodies. We're talking to you about changing bodies.

Okay, here we go, Chrissy's up next. Whale partner. That was the interesting one. Okay, here we go. Let's see. I'm ready for you. The paper. What is a true friend? Oh, you have to get serious on it.

Well, I can say, with all seriousness, my good friend, Chrissy Hodeley here, is a true friend. A true friend is someone who, a true friend is someone who's shut the top of podcast hell. A true friend is someone who shows up every Saturday to record your stupid podcast. Even when it's losing fucking money. A true friend lets you borrow $5,000

when you go to jail. A true friend lets you borrow $5,000 when you go to jail. A true friend remains a true friend no matter what. And I have to say this. Chrissy and I have been through a lot together as human beings individually and together. And through it all, Chrissy's love for me, I think, I'm interpreting this the right way. Love for me, trust in me, respect for me, and our fondness for each other. You're there.

You're never wavered. That's right. They're for each other. Don't get me wrong. We've had our disagreements. Have we? I think I dated a couple of girls that you are like. Wow.

I remember one time on the phone, you're like, the fuck are you doing? That was for your own good. Well, I couldn't see it at the time. Now I'm with Astrid and all things are better. But- You run to the witches. Yeah, that was into the witches. But I think, yeah, I think a true friend is someone who may not necessarily-

You can always call. Yeah, you can also not talk to them for months. Or years? Or years? Well, I wanna just keep up at least once a year. Well, I'm hoping some people will call me back. It's been a couple of years. I hope you call me back. I want to keep up a couple times a year at least. But, you know, yeah, definitely some of you can always count on to be there and just It's easy to be friends with somebody when things are good. Mm-hmm

But how do you handle it when things are difficult? And if a friend does not leave you when things are good. But how do you handle it when things are difficult? And if a friend does not leave you when things are difficult, but they stay next to you and they say, it's okay, they may not be able to pick you up off the ground, but they say, I'm here for you, right? I'm right here for you. In your darkest hour, that is a truth.

The people who around you in your darkest hour in many darkest hours are your true friends. The people who don't pick up the phone because they can't be bothered with your bullshit are fair weather friends. And I say this always, and I'll say it forever and ever because at my age, I've learned some a few things that have stuck with me.

And that is, there are people that you meet that will be in your life for a minute. There are people in your life that will be in there for a while, and there are people in your life that will be there forever. Reason, season, lifetime. Reason, season, lifetime. I like that. And a people in your life that will be there forever. Reason, season, lifetime. Ah, reason, season, lifetime. I like that.

And a true friend is someone that will be there forever. And I'm lucky to have a few of them. Me too. And Chrissy is one of them. Yes, fine. I agree. Love you. I love you.

Wow, thanks for making it serious. I know. I'm just like, I'm going to tear my eye. Okay, we've two minutes of stuff though. Now we end good. Stop. How many we got? Okay, one, two, three, four, five, six. You've got seven there. You must have seven. Yeah, I got seven. We've got six more to go. Let's go. Aliens. Aliens. And I'm not talking about the movie or maybe I am. I don't know. It's just

aliens within the ass. So we have to talk about multiple aliens. Aliens. It's such a fun topic. It's such a fun topic. He really is. I want to believe they're out there. I think they are. How could they're not be? They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not because it's in the alien on another planet. But I feel like there's gotta be some kind of other life forms which I'm thinking that we're considering aliens. Like, yeah, I don't think it's like the guys with the, like, you know, maybe it is. Almond eyes. It's all men. It seems like such a bullshit.

Yeah. But I think that's our, that's an interpretation for something we don't understand. The mind of horrors, the vacuum, so we pour a bunch of stuff into that vacuum. That for something we don't understand. The mind of horrors of vacuum, so we pour a bunch of stuff into that vacuum. That's on display in real life. And the year 2021, especially here in the United States, the mind of horrors of vacuum.

But aliens, there must be aliens. Why? Because we are star dust, essentially. We came from something out there in the universe. We didn't just all the sudden wake up on planet Earth. We came from somewhere else. We were planted here by meteorites, according to most scientists and I tend to believe science. It's just my thing.

Then we crawled out of the fucking sea and started walking. I think you're right about this. One of the most interesting things that Carl Sagan ever said was, if there are aliens, they are most certainly not what we're looking for. Yeah, they're what we think of. You go down to the bottom of the ocean like this guy, this Russian guy, he's got this new submarine that he's going down like 5, 10, 12 miles

down into the ocean, 12 miles into the ocean. Imagine that, 12 miles deep. Yes, a long ways. Fuck yeah, when you're going down, it's a long way. And they're finding life better. Those things like aliens. Yeah, those certainly are aliens. Like, I mean, they're aliens to us. We don't know what they are. But if an alien was here,

would we even know it? I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think they're going to be showing up to have butt sex with you in the middle of the night in your farm and hide a home. Like I just don't imagine that's how it's going to go down. I don't think that we would even know, especially if they're fly, they're actually intelligent enough to make a spacecraft fly from another galaxy. And get here, they're going to probably go undetected. I get to say use of their anal print technology is probably on point. Excuse me. Hello, my name is Shimbale Hadeerlian.

Two things. Number one, can I take a picture of your Aynas far records? Number two, may I fuck it? I do have alien conspiracy theories there. I think that's funny. I think it's funny too. I think all conspiracy theories are funny. Because the thing that was on the desert, remember the thing that just appeared out in

the desert? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a little while back, like a orb or something that was on the desert remember the thing that just appeared out in the desert that was a little while back like a orb or something that was, you know, it just all, it was basically an artist that would have put it out there. But everybody was like, it's aliens. I mean, I go and I look at it for alien videos the only convincing evidence that I've seen of aliens are those Air Force guys who were flying the planes. That's true.

And they came out of that video and those things are moving at 180 million miles an hour. That was could be aliens. Those could be aliens, right? Those could be aliens. But most of these alien videos that I watch online, they've got like 16 views, it's like a guy with a drone and a two green potatoes, painted green attached to it. It's like, how I made the first Star Wars.

Yeah, exactly. Like clay models. Like clay models, little tin cans. Yeah. Okay, all right, we're four minutes in, but that was a fun one. Okay, here we go. Okay, it's your turn. Oh, it's mine.

Yeah, I just did England. Okay. It's a thing to do. I like the difference between you and I. I have all of my papers just spread out in front of me and you're all neatly organized over there Okay, here we go. Oh Sasha Baron Cohen. Oh my god. This is a good one. So Sasha Baron Cohen is a pre-imminent artist of Artist artist just artist of our times. He is a

He's a pop culture icon I thought provoker thought pro that probably artist of our times. He is a pop culture icon. I think. Thought provoker. Thought, no, the private, private, private to cool. Why do you say it?

Provocour. Provocour. Provocator. Provocour. Provocour. Hi, I'm Brian from the Provocour Corporation. Do you have trouble keeping your beer cold? Try the new Provocour 3000.

Plug it into the wall for six to 12 hours. And you'll have Luke Wormbeer forever. Nice. The Prova Kua, oh hair, Jack Rabbit vibrating, kind of, which attachment? Optional witch attachment. Optional witch and extender attachment comes to you from Brufak.

Brufakers. Brufak. Brufak. Brufak. Brufak. Brufakertur. Brufakertur. That's what Sasha Berencon is.

That's what Sasha Berencon is. That's what Sasha Berencon is. There's nothing else we have to say. If you've seen, if the guy only, if he had only done Borad, he would go down in his history. Yes. History will look upon him fondly as one of the best seretists, satirists of seretists. He's like a zero. He's probably cooler. Five thousand. It's a green that makes your ball shrink. Probably cooler, three thousand is making your life better with all of our range of extended products like the oh hair rabbit Jack rabbit three thousand. We have our new to nostruists. New to us.

Our new to us. New to us. New to us. New to us. Our on staff. New to Terry. It's making sure that. I'm not. Our on-staffed new detergents are making sure that New detergents are making sure that provocour 3000 is safe for all people including your children and dogs

Look and find a way of a partner As soon as you're done with this look at five-o-go. He loves the Jack Ravik cock-green 3000 with extender Remember we hear it for Vodka Coole. If you are 100 day money, bag guarantee you. Vodka Coole. Making your cup for hard. Okay, bag your sausage. That's fine, that's fine.

That's fine. I'm gonna drink cow and make it your cup for hard. Yeah, listen, there's nothing else we can say about Sasha Baron Cohen. I mean, it's like, I don't even want to talk too much because I feel like I'm just going to talk to myself. That's it. He is one of the greatest comedians of our time.

He is a satire. He's in the gain access, too, to just his producers and other. He skewers the American way of life and our idiosyncrasies in ways that are clear, that are unvarnished, that are truthful. And it's just hard to miss the point when you watch it. He's so good at making the point, right? And he does it with characters that, quite frankly, are ball-bustingly funny.

If there was a movie, usually number... There are movies, there are couple of movies. If there are movies. If there are any number two movies that I like better than number one movies, it's like Godfather 2 and Borat 2. I like it better than the fun. I think it's funnier. Me too. So Sasha hats off. I sent you an email if you're willing to come on the show. Please come on. That's a true story. Probably a good idea Sasha.

Stay wherever you're at for a couple more months. Exactly. Yeah, or maybe you're. Go to the underground gummy bear. Yeah, no. Tree like that. And then every when we are the gummy bears. Privakakar making you cock more hard.

OK, we're four minutes in and my turn. My turn? Yeah, your turn. OK, we got two more left. I mean, after this, we got four minutes in and my turn. My turn? Yeah, your turn. Okay, we got two more left. I mean, after this, we got two more left. We each got one after this. Okay. If you could be an animal, which one would it be?

Jaguar. Jaguar. Right off the bat. Jaguar. I love cats. First of all. Oh, you do love cats. Yeah, I gotta be part of the cat, but I don't know when Jaguar.

Go on Jaguar. Sleep. Moving through the night. Hahaha. I feel like I take a different one. I feel like I'd be the flu or something like that. So that way I can get in people's bodies and see what. I also be a bird.

So I could. I think a bird would be cool. I think a dolphin would be cool. A dolphin. feel it. I think a bird would be cool. I think a dolphin would be cool. A dolphin, that's a dolphin. A dolphin? An elephant? I think would be cool. The flu of virus would be cool, I think.

Well, you just jump into people's bodies and I think that would be cool to see how it is to be in your body for it. Like the flu thinks. I mean, it has a brain and it's thinking about things. But I feel like a dolphin is probably probably a mile. I have a Luga whale. A whale partner.

A whale partner? Well, I can be a dolphin and you can be my whale partner. Yes. All. I go through the waters. You can go through the waters. Swimming. Yeah.

Maybe those underground tunnels with the gummy bears could be water filled. I like this. Yeah. That looks like so much fun. So excited. You've invited me. Well, I just feel like if I'm going to have a secret society, that looks like so much fun. So excited, you've invited me. Well, I just feel like if I'm gonna have

a secret society, it can't be two secret. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, let's go back to the very first one. If there's a secret society, it can't be two secret. Because it's two secret, then what fun is it? It's like you're doing no good. Exactly. You got to let a few people in on the plan.

Or you're just essentially, it's you and your room. Right, and I think there's a lot of people, I think there's a lot of, there's a lot of secret societies to count that way. There's a lot of white, angry men in their 30s that have their own secret societies currently. That's true. Okay, all right, we're ready?

Yeah, let's go. Yes, your turn. Wait, did you just did? No, I just did. Yeah, I just did. No, I just did. Oh, I just did. Okay? Yeah, let's go. Yes, your turn. Wait, did you just did? No, I just did. Yeah, I just did. No, I just did. Oh, I just did. Okay, go, go, go.

I'm sorry, I lost track. I'm the one drinking wine. Yeah, I know, but this tea gets to me. Go straight to my head. Okay, here we go. All right. Oh, wet socks. You're the worst. You're the worst of those worst. Worse than wet socks or wet jeans, but wet socks. You're the worst.

The worst that wet socks are wet jeans, but wet socks are right behind that. Yeah, wet socks, they're smelly, they're wet. Oh, fucking gross. They're the worst. They're the worst, the worst of the worst. And when you get your socks wet, it's just gonna be a bad next couple of hours

if you can't get your socks. It really is, if you're a hiking. Yeah, it is, it's like, and you get wet socks. Ooh. It's the, and I next couple of hours if you can't do it. It really is if you're a hiking. Yeah, it is. And you get wet socks. Ooh. It's the way. And I think about these guys, like I would never do this. This is not me because I am ultimately extraordinarily scared of heights.

Like I have a fear of heights. So does Jeff. I know it's just, it's an irrational fear of heights. Unless it's unrequited heights, heights where I could potentially fall from somewhere. If I'm like in a building, I can stand in the tall building. I just, just the same way and I didn't know this about him, but I forced him to go to six flags with me. Oh, I don't mind six flags. He went.

Oh, he doesn't like rollercoaster. He read, I mean, those ones that are like up high. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't bother me so much because I know that I'm laughed in, right? I know that I have. Okay, you're safe. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't bother me so much because I know that I'm lapped in, right? I know that I have.

Okay, you're safe. I'm okay. What I don't like is like going to the edge of a tall building, like if you're on a roof or something, standing there, kind of making sense. Oh, that's just the idea. Yeah, or even, it gives me, I instantaneously get vertigo. But one of my favorite things in the world to do is to watch

people climbing tall things that clearly they can fall. Like those idiots on YouTube who climb up the cranes at the top of the buildings and the world. And they've never seen that. Oh, you have to watch these. Or people who climb Mount Everest, right? And I have watched probably every documentary there is on people climbing Mount Everest.

And the first thing that I always think about is how fucking cold your feet have to be. Like all the snow and just like. Oh, yeah, people get frostbite and all of that. They lose fingers and shit like that just so they can plant a flag at the top of the end of the day. So walk past all those dead bodies. I don't know how we got on this because of this wet sock.

Okay, stop two minutes. All right, ready? Here we go. Okay, we're in the final lap here. You're the last one? I'm the last one. Am I? How many do you have?

Count yours. Real quick. Mine are easy to count. Here's our own stone all over the place. I said, you're the last one? I'm the last one. How many do you have? Count yours. Real quick. Mine are easy to count. Yours are all thrown all over the place. I don't know. Two, three, four, five, six, eight, nine. Okay, we got one more round.

I was wrong. Okay, best Wi-Fi name you have ever seen. This is easy. I know, I know. FBI. No, mine. Somebody at my parmak complex one time had one that said virus.

It's pretty good. I know. I think that's a good one. Mine, mine, I saw one at a couple of places ago, a couple of homes ago, somebody had one down on Glenwood. It said FBI, it said FBI at Atlanta, Internet, you know, whatever, security systems or whatever. And I was like, that guy's a fucking wiseass, but I'm not even going to try and, you know, I'm just in case that's, you know, and I think most people would think like me, they would be, hey, I'm not even going to try that. So that's why we're trying to tap into it. No, I mean, if I see this got a little lock on it, what am I? I'm a fucking,

oh my, I'm a John Travolta in that movie where he's like, you know, the code cracker. What is that? Yeah, I remember Holly Berry was naked topless in the movie and he was like some fancy internet sleuth. Do you remember that movie? It was a good one.

It was good. No, Holly Berry naked, I think it was very. Yeah, Holly Berry naked. The only guy can remember about that movie is John Travolta, like fake pressing keys and try, like instantaneously getting people's passwords and then Holly Berry with her tits out. That's the only two things I remember about the movie.

So I can set that a good movie because most movies, I don't remember anything. Okay, all right, ready? You go, we got one and then I got one and then we're done. Okay, let's see here. And we're way past 40 minutes. I'm just letting you know that. Favorite episode from season one?

Favorite episode from season one? Ah! There's so many. Definitely not our first couple. No, no. Ah! We were really good at the Kings back. By the way, we're putting those on Patreon.

We're taking them off the worldwide web and putting them on Patreon. Thank you. Good golf. You're gonna have to pay me if you want to listen to that bullshit. Good. You're going to have to pay me if you want to listen to that bullshit. Good call. Probably the one where we literally couldn't stop laughing. And that was the one that were you

were playing. Okay. Yeah. I forgot what it's on the best of. I think it's episode number like six. Six or nine. One of the two. Okay.

I remember that one. So I'll recap this. I mean, we were laughing so hard. Six or nine. Okay, I remember that one. So I'll recap the story. I mean, we were laughing so hard. I was crying. It was, it was, we, there have been a few where we've really laughed very hard. I know Christmas COVID castle. I get the girl that would have told her.

Yeah, that was pretty good. I remember emotional support, Peacock's, YDD counter, YDD counter. I have to say that my favorite one so far is probably the COVID Christmas. I mean that one is really that's at the top. Yeah because I just listened to it earlier today too and it's so fun. You can go listen to the two best of shows and you can kind of hear what we what we think is the best of and both of those things. The crazy thing is is that after we did that episode that I started

seeing news reports coming through on my phone about how these Santa's Dave were catching COVID and they were spreading it around the children Got to cornbread pants from knees Come on down to COVID Christmas castle. Do you hate Santa Claus? Do you hate Santa Claus? What are you two? We had 12. 12 of us. What?

11 are dead. But this new Santa's grave has got no eyeballs. What's spiral ball for you? He's got a hard ball to confer a mouth. I said to you, I said, is he wearing a mouth? I said, of course he's not. That'd be kind of weird. No, you said it's hot no mouth.

That's got no mouth. He's got cauliflower ears. He's got no pupils. Oh my god, just good. Oh my god, let's have it. Yeah, that one is. But in the one where you played the piano. No, the one where I played the piano.

Yeah. Go look back for it. I can't remember. Maybe we'll put it in the, Gustavo, please put it in the show. Yeah. But that where I played the piano. Go back for it. I can't remember when we will put in the Gustavo, please put it in the show. But that episode is pretty funny too, where I tell the story about how my father-in-law pressed me to play piano after I've been telling everybody I was an expert musician. And all I think to play was home sweet home by Motley Crew, which is not hard to play. In the Swiss Alps. Yeah, in the Swiss Alps, in the middle of New Year's Eve.

Okay, last one, here we go. Okay, woo. All right, hour and four minutes in. But that's okay, you know, some time to go. Thank you. Oh, and we're ending on the most perfect one. Cause we started and we wanted to talk to you about your bodies, and now we wanna talk to you

about your bodies again, because we wanna talk to you about vaginoplasty. Oh. Vaginoplasty. We want to talk to you about this. This is the, for any of the, you that don't know, this is a cosmetic surgery. I guess sometimes it's necessary,

but like any cosmetic surgery, but it's mostly a cosmetic surgery where women get their vaginas, mainly their, tighten up. Tighten up, meaning, not, I think it's mainly has to do with like the labia, like the inner labia and the outer labia, they wanna make it, have less of the- Well, if you've had children,

things get a little stretched out. That's correct. The labia's menorah and the labia's menorah. I had children so I don't need it. Well, hey, let me try that out one time. Let me be the judge of that. That's my part for what I've heard people, you know, enjoy it. Yeah.

I have seen, I shouldn't get into this. I'm not going to get into this. I'm not going to tell this story. Yeah, we should probably just end on that. I will say this. I have seen pictures of the before and after. And yeah, they really do the job. Yeah.

There you go. Sew it up. This. Hey, Doc. Just put a sew up. Maybe you could put a couple staples in there and make it prettier. Sure, why not? All right, 20 for 40.

I think it went well. Woo. We are going to continue this on our Friday episode on Patreon. I like it too. That's fun. So Chrissy and I are gonna take a short break and then we're gonna go and we're gonna do the Friday show, which is the Patreon show Patreon.com

forward slash the commercial break, you can become a supporter of ours and you don't just get a new episode, an additional episode every week. You get other stuff, but you gotta go to Patreon and check it out, because I don't have time to explain it here. TCPpodcast.com is always the place you can go

to watch us on YouTube, hear all of the episodes, drop us a line, everything's there. That's like home base right there at the commercial break on Instagram. Please follow us. We also have all of our links. We have some really funny stuff on Instagram.

We do, actually, yeah, it's good. We've gotten quite a bit constant. I do it take over on Thursdays. And I do one on Sundays and Sundays and on Mondays It depends on yeah, so on those days we have to get super creative and I think I'm getting the hang of it Yeah, but there's some super funny stuff there and we thank the people who have jumped on and and joined that we we said We wanted to get like 25 more 50 more followers Yeah, and no one responded that first week, but then all of a sudden people just started popping on. So we do appreciate it.

We appreciate that. Yeah, very much. So tcbpodcast.com, Patreon, forward slash, the commercial break for that second episode. We appreciate all of our supporters out there. We appreciate you coming back to listen to the commercial break. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.

It's the last time we're gonna say it. Well, we got three more weeks, but it's the last time we're gonna say it to you because now you heard it. Yes. I love you. I love you. Bye.

The commercial break Friday episodes can now be found on Patreon at patreon.com. Slash the commercial break. New episodes are available on YouTube every Tuesday. Visit www.tcbpodcast.com. For more information on all of our contents, follow us at the Commercial Break on Instagram or leave us a message at 470-584-8449. The Commercial Break is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Hothelay, the Commercial Break, tune it in and write it out.