The Commercial Break - Painting His Wife's Pappy

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

Dial tone phones changes the way we communicate. Like the car phone, the cellular phone and the iPhone that came after it must have been a big change to those who were experiencing it! So big, in fact, that grandpa couldn't face reality...he had to go paint his wife's pappy instead of learn this new fangled thing! Restaurant Pretty is a new dress code Bryan went on ANOTHER Disney Cruise People don't know how to behave around an elevator The cruise buffet is where people turn into wild animals A big burly man's man cuts in line ahead of a 4 real old. All is right with the world! Dial tone technology was the biggest shift in technology in decades! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or hate mail by texting us or leaving a voicemail at 1-661-Best-2-Yo (1.661.237.8296) Watch Us on YouTube Take a Listen to The Jordan Harbinger show! Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! Special Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Tina Rose Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Gustavo New Episodes on Monday, Wednesday and now Fridays everywhere you listen to podcasts! 1-(661)-BEST-2-YO  | (1-661-237-8296) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH She took the last one right and the guy said I'll have another set in like five to ten minutes And I'm like well, I don't love my father in all that much. I gotta get hungry Go back a frozen dinner. Yeah, I brought back some bread. I the bread station look normal Do you think I'm all charged up about this? Yeah, no Chrissy Chrissy. I think you might need to take a break from the cruises for a bit. You think so? Yeah. I just get you working.

I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working.

I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. I just get you working. Well, that would have been a lot better if he did. So watch in the hooks that are painting his wife's battery. Well, then, do you need one of this? The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Hi, cats and kittens. Welcome back to another episode of the commercial break. I am Brian green This is my dear friend and co-host Christian joy. Hopefully best to you Christian Bestie Brian Bestie you out there in the podcast universe. How they? Hello. You thanks for joining us I'm yet another episode of this the commercial break. It's not for everybody but fag news or fiction Guaranteed in 30 seconds or less or your money back go to the tcb podcast.com website to collect your earnings Hi, I'm Brian from palace Verdes and I'm a business professional. I'm a business professional. I'm a professional business man.

No, that's what he said. He said I'm a professional business man. A professional business man. I mean, that's a very catch all turn. Hi, I'm Paul from Palace Verdes and I'm a professional business man. So I introduce myself. Yes. Table for two professional business man What company are you with a professional professional professional business? I'm with a professional business. Where are you with? But did you come here with I'm a professional business?

You know, he probably was like a used car dealer like a junior sales person to use car dealership Yeah, something like that. It seemed like the guy who was, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never seen someone so red in my life. Which is basically anyone that does work. Anyone that does work. I'm a professional podcast creator.

I'm a professional online content creator. It's only so weird when you put your profession as a podcaster. It's like, you know, what do you say? CEO of it's gonna commercialbreak.com. Now I say professional, business man, content creator. That's what I say. That's a business professional.

Very fancy. Content creator. Very fancy. Astrid, we were gonna go on, we went on the cruise and we're thinking about what we're gonna wear. And one of the nights you go to the captain's dinner. Cruise wear. Cruise wear. This is what Astrid says. to the captains dinner. Crews wear. Crews wear. This is what Astor says.

I go, well, what is it? Is it like, you know, do we have to wear suit and tie? Is it business casual? And she goes, no, it's restaurant pretty. And I'm like, restaurant pretty. What's the fuck is that? I know restaurant pretty. Yeah.

It means Instagram. Instagram ready. Yes. And God forbid we get people on that cruise. Now, the Disney cruise, which is what I want. It's so much better than Disney world because it's literally not people wall to wall hot sun baking on you standing in line for hours and hours. Yeah, it's contained and it's limited. Yeah, and there are very few lines except maybe to get two things that are lines for

Waiting to get a picture with the characters and to get on the elevators. Oh, there are three sets of six elevators in on the ship Each elevator shaft right next to it has a grand staircase. We're not talking about the shaft shaft Has it not like a not like Firewell not like fired stairs But a grand staircase hopefully they do have fire stairs there Well now if you go ahead as a fire on the ship you're fucked, but anyway, so these grand staircases are going up through the ship all the way up from top to bottom So these grand staircases are going up through the ship all the way up from top to bottom, right next to the elevator shaft. Okay. This, the elevators are always full, always full, right?

Because he makes sense. People are moving around, milling around. I don't know what happens to people on a cruise ship or with Disney. I don't know what it is, and maybe it's a combination of both, but they lose their ever-fucking-minds. Because there's a million people waiting for the elevator someone presses the upper the down button ready this is how it goes then one person gets in the elevator and then ever you have to stuff the elevator as far as it could possibly be stuffed because everyone thinks there's

room for just yet to more one more yeah you got a conflict we can fit no you can't. No, you can't. No, you can't. You've been sitting at the buffet all day long. You cannot. You're too big for this elevator. My son, who has no filter because he's my child and then he's also four, every time the elevator gets a little stuff,

he'd be like, there can be no more people in here, daddy. No more people. And I'm like, you're right. And so what I would say, what he says, what I would say is, well, that's our you're right. And so what I would say, what he says, what I would say is, well, that's our opinion, son. That's what I would say,

out loud in the elevator. That's our opinion. Not everybody else's. But what really pisses me off? Okay, I get it. You want to get where you're going like everybody else. You stuff in two more people and they're fine.

We're gonna be fucking sardines. Let's be fucking sardines. What really pisses me off is that perfectly capable, able, non-handicap human beings that get on the elevator and then press one floor up or one floor fucking down. Yeah. There are stairs right there. You could walk down in less than five seconds. You could be down in the next floor or up at the floor, but you had to get in the elevator and bother the other 27 fucking people in the elevator because you have to your lazy ass can't go up one set of stairs or down one set of stairs.

Chrissy what happens to people? I don't know. I'm all about taking the stairs. I like the stairs. I would walk from the first floor to the tenth floor where the room was. I didn't care. Gave me a little workout. I burned off all that ice cream that I was eating. Exactly. That's it. Yeah, and then that's another thing. You get to the buffet and people lose their fucking minds there too. Sure. Cutting in front of everybody. That's my friend's friend.

Give me the shrub. Blopster legs. Yeah. Did they come out with like hot, you know, not plates, but the drinks. The lexapans or whatever they are. Lexapros or whatever the fuck you call them. Lexapros. Yeah, they put them in there and as soon as they get there, like they had, they have crab legs on the first day.

On the first day, they have the king crab legs, right? People are sitting there, salivating. Their minds have literally walked out of one of their ears. They are no longer human beings. They are rabid fucking dogs waiting for the lobster, for the lobster crab legs I was here first I was here first as soon as those crab legs lobster crab legs Ah, that's a whole new thing is a lobster crabs

And they just start Oh my god, they're crazy Crazy people are literally insane when they get, when you give people the option to police themselves, they do not do it. There's always one fucking moron or a family of morons that ruin it for everyone. Oh my God, it's the very true, that's like, in the very rare instance, but it does happen.

I always get major anxiety when there's, it's, you know, Atlanta is a major city and it has some crazy streets every once in a while the light is out. Oh my god. It's a four way stop for like 18 lanes of traffic. Yeah. And they don't wait. No, no. No, one person goes. There's a wreck every time. There's one person goes and the next six people fit their way in there. It's the exact same thing with the yellow and the red light. In here in Atlanta, you better make sure that light is green for at least a good five seconds

before you start approaching the middle of the intersection. Because people do not pay attention to traffic lights. And I don't know where the police are these days. Listen, I don't blame the police. They don't want to get murdered over some traffic stop. Like, they're not looking to get themselves involved in like, you know, some drama. Yeah, we need police officers. And we need them at the fucking traffic lights

because every time it turns yellow here, it's just fucking 12, 13, 14 people go, they stick out in the middle of traffic, they don't give a shit. Guys, just be a little bit considerate of what's, you know, when an elevator would come, when an elevator would come, and we took a lot of elevators, right, going up and down to everything, right, when an elevator would come, and we took a lot of elevators, right,

going up and down to everything, right? When an elevator would come, and it looked too crowded, I would hold my son or my daughter back, and I would say, wait for the next one, right? If we were gonna go up one or two flights of stairs, or down one or two flights of stairs, let's take the stairs. Let's not bother everybody in the elevator

to go down 15 fucking seconds, because our lazy asses. For those hallways just abandoned, oh my god, they are, they are no onees. For those hallways just abandoned my god, they are no one else. Yeah, the stairs are like, it's either kids with a lot of energy, right? Or the occasional European family.

There were no American families. No one that spoke the King's English walking up and down those fucking stairs because they're two, they're upstairs waiting for the crab lobster legs. That's what they're doing. They're upstairs waiting for the lobster legs. Or making themselves what they're doing. They're upstairs waiting for the lobster leg. Or making themselves a 15 foot high

soft serve ice cream thing. You know, the soft serve ice cream is free. But I literally saw a lady one day trying to get four ice cream cones at the same time. That's a lot. Free, you can come back and get another one. You don't need to, she, and she looked like she was gonna eat them all right there.

I mean, she was just like, foam coming from her mouth. And she was getting them from the family. But still, you can't. Oh, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah. My guess is no. But okay, let's see, she did the family. You get two, and then you come back. This is no sprinkles, because they don't,

cause yeah, then you get, if you give people sprinkles, I guess what happens. And the sprinkles are gone. They're everywhere, yeah, they don't give a shit. They literally have a person that's posted at that ice cream machine 20 for a long time. They're policing it. They're not policing it. They're cleaning it.

Yeah. Because I don't know what happens to people. Like, did you forget how a machine works? Well, free is always going to make people crazy. It's, oh, it will always make people go crazy. I used to do conventions where we would go and a job that I worked, we would get a conventions and sell our services. And pins, hats, bags, it could be the cheapest crap thing ever. And people want it. It's free. It's free. It's just because it's free or just because it's

there doesn't mean you have to turn it into a literal animal. You don't have to do it. I know I get all worked up about this stuff, but it really does. I guess I guess I put a treaty together. I want to put a treaty together for the elevators. The elevators and the ice cream machine. I want to end the crab like the crab lobster legs. I want to put a treaty together that says, please take one and then come back later if any are available. There was one guy.

I don't care what you look like. It's neither here nor there, right? I don't care if you're bigger or small, I don't care if you're short or you're tall, I don't care if one leg or four legs, I don't give a shit, right? However, this guy, he looks apart when he was standing there waiting for these crab legs.

And my father and I wanted a crab leg. So I thought it would be nice. What? He's from Venezuela. He just wanted one crab leg. He was like, he's like, having a little grouping of them. Yeah, I would have been happy with him. I would have been having a tear one off

and share it with my brother, their sister, whoever was standing there, right? So he's standing there waiting for these curbs, the first day of the cruise, and everyone's trying to find a table and they're outside and it's hot and everybody's sweaty and all this other stuff. I thought, how nice of me to pay attention

to my father-in-law's needs. You were congratulating yourself. I was congratulating myself. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna be a good son-in-law's needs. You were graduating yourself. I was congratulating myself. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna be a good son-in-law, right? For once, I'm gonna be a good son-in-law. And I'm gonna help my father-in-law find that crab plug. He's been talking about for a fucking week and a half. Well, the crab legs are gone, of course they are.

So everybody is standing there. And there's one gentleman, large and in charge, right? Who has now squirted his way up to the very, he's big belly hanging over that, you know, that serving area, right? Who has now squirted his way up to the very, he's big belly hanging over that, you know, that serving area, right? And he's, he's got three plates already, juggling in his hand.

And when the crab legs come, they come not a bunch of them at a time, because they're so big, there's like five or six, you know, steamed, you know, the group clusters up them. Chrissy swears that's on all that is holy, he takes everyone except for one of them, except for one of them.

And then there's an older lady that's standing there. She was clearly in front of me and she's an older lady. And so she took the last one, right? And the guy said, I'll have another set in like five to 10 minutes. And I'm like, well, I don't love my father and all that much.

I gotta get hungry. You brought back a, you brought back a frozen like, well, I don't love my father in all that much. I gotta get, I'm hungry. You brought back a, you brought back a frozen dinner. Yeah, I brought back some bread. The bread station looked normal. The free barbecue sauce. But this guy, you know, walking away back to his seat, it was just unbelievable to me.

It was unbelievable. He took all of the crab legs except for one, all of them, and there was a crowd of people waiting there. He needed to do one at the top. I really wanted to say something to me. It was unbelievable. He took all of the crab legs except for one all of them and there was a crowd of people waiting there I really wanted to say something to him. I really did. I really wanted to say But then you're gonna have to see him for the rest of the trip and then it's a whole thing Yeah, and like there was an incident where we went to this beach and they had like this a water slide It was an incident. We had that there's a water slide, right? So it was a floating platform

Oh, not a floating platform, oh, it's not a floating platform, but it's out in the middle of the ocean. So you had to swim up to the platform, get up and then they had a little line and everybody went up to the top of this big water slide. They had a rope that separated the people coming off the slide from the people going to the platform,

a rope in the water, right? Makes sense. Okay, listen, booey's on it. And the lifeguard kept yelling to everyone coming off the slide, go to the orange booey, and then you can swim around to get back on. You didn't have to walk all the way to the beach.

He just asking you to go to the orange booey and turn around. Be safe about it. Keep yelling it, keep yelling it, keep yelling it. So Matthias and I go down the slide. And then Matthias wants to go again. So I throw him around the orange booey, I throw him over the rope,

and then we start swimming. There are two adults, two adults, who are entering the water from the beach. And as soon as Matthias and I are starting to get over this booey, the man in the, of the couple, right? Grabbs his wife by the hand and they start swimming. Quick, quickly.

Let's get it. But yeah, but Matthias, by the way, there is no line. There is no line. You don't have to wait any time to get on this slide. Zero line. Zero people are waiting to get in line. You walk up and maybe you had to wait for one person to go down the slide, but then you were there, right?

Yeah. So, Matthias and I just were so far ahead that we happened to get to the ladder ahead of time. So we get up onto the ladder and then we go to stand in the rope-dough line the queue we even though there's nobody waiting We're gonna walk through the queue appropriately. That's where you're supposed to teach my son the right way to do it Be polite, right? Do what you're supposed to do So we start getting in the queue and this guy is getting up on top of the platform and he runs and he just ducks under the Under the line and he's like come on honey. Come on. We were first. I heard him say it. Come on. We were first

under the line and he's like, come on honey, come on, we were first. I heard him say it. Come on, we were first. We were first. I have this child. We were ahead of this four year old. You big fucking man. You big fucking swing and dick man. Your dick is huge. You 14 foot dick. It's just swinging all around. Your balls are so big. I can't, I just, you're such a man. Such a fucking man. You cut in front of my four year old son because you considered yourself first. Unbelievable.

It's a little weird. The problem is, is that this attitude is pervasive in this country right now. We all think we're entitled to everything. I'm not saying that I'm immune to this type of behavior. I'm sure that I've exhibited at some point in my life also. But I generally consider myself a polite person, right? And even though it works me that this guy did that,

I did not cause a scene because I did not want to show my son that I'm an asshole. Yeah, once again, you were being the bigger person. Yeah, but his 14-foot dick must have gotten so erect cutting in front of a child. Right, that's weird. So then I see him later on on the boat Dick must have gotten so erect cutting in front of a child. Right. That's weird. So then I see him later on on the boat and up at the buffet.

But the boat, everything happens the most. And the mother fucker is cutting in front of other people. There's a line and he's just cutting in front of other people to get what he wants and going. Yeah. He had a big long beard. He was such a stud. He was so good looking.

Balls were just hanging right out of his pants. I was like, oh my God, if I could only give you a hand job, my friend. You think I'm all charged up about this? Yeah, no. You seem calm. Chrissy. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes. I think you might need to take a break from the cruises for a bit. You think so? Yeah. I just get to work it. Ah! Ah!

That's what I wanted to do. But I'm sure that everyone out there listening right now can relate in some way, shape, or form. Sure. And so I'll say to my better angels, I'll say to myself, right? Is that when I intended to indulge in this kind of behavior, I'm gonna remember the guy with a 14 foot dick

that looked like David Hasselhoff that cut in front of my four year old son. That's right, picture it. Yeah, and then my son is like, Hey, daddy, we were first and I'm like, well, son. Not in that guy's mind. Not in that guy, not guy has a 14 foot dick. We gotta let him go first.

Wait, again, you would say, and that's our opinion. That's our opinion, son. Yes, I got told that I said, rev down, son. Rev down. Rev down. Let me explain to the viewers, to the listeners. Something that you and I experienced as children,

but may never be experienced by probably half of our listeners. When you get on your iPhone or your Android or whatever it is, and you type in a number, if you have your sound on, and you type in a number, you hear a dial tone. Yeah, baby, baby, baby. Yeah, let me hear, I'll just want to give an example. BEEP Right, that noise, that little beeping noise.

It's got a dial tone, right? And a dial tone phone was created back sometime I think in the early 50s. And what it did is it was basically, here's the Fagnusor Fiction. This is the Fagnusor Fiction, because I have no idea when it was created or how it works, but I'm about to pretend like I was the crank. Yeah, you had the crank.

And you had to put it up to your, yeah, you picked up the thing. It would alert an operator that you had picked it up. It would buzz. And then trying to call Brian. I'm trying to call Brian. Brian on one, two, seven. Yeah, literally a phone number was like, hello, operator. Switchboards. Hello, operator. Yeah, so I'm trying to find a run at one, hello, I'm right on. Yeah, switchboards. Hello, operator. Yeah, so I'm trying to find a run at one, two, seven maple tree lane. Hold one like an egg. And then they would take the line that was yours

and they would plug it into a switch that would ring to the phone, the address that you were trying to. Yeah, we're going way back. Ring, ring. Hello, hello, I've got mister johnson on for mr. green that's a problem yeah dialed on what's that

uh... so that's a little bit of work operator would hear you out first then first then then came the die the road of the phone yet the rotary phone, where you would dial the number yourself and a switchboard would understand the clicking noise and it would switch for you. Connect, where?

And then next came dial tone phones. Basically what that was is it was a listening device that would, a different sound would be with each number, one, two, three, four, five. And it would understand that if you press in that series of numbers to then connect this particular line, it's called a dial tone phone. Now, I was not doing it.

And how do I see her? You would put it up to your ear and had a cord. And you're literally giving a, we're living having conversation about what a home phone is. Yeah. Yeah, it's in this weird. Because I haven't had one in a long time. I haven't had one in 20 years.

I can imagine people right, and kids now have no idea. And let's go to a hotel room when you see an actual phone, because most hotel rooms still have them, right? I think all hotel rooms still have them for safety reasons. I guess that's true, but I'm not as they're cordless. Some of them are, right? But so this dial tone phone was all the rage, and I have, I wanted wanted to just like any new

technology. When you were on the phone you were on the phone and you were tied to that wall and all that walking around that you do with that cell phone you'd had to go you went as far as the cord would go and that was. That's when there was really long course I remember my grandmother had like really long cord and it would get tangled up and you had to let it untwirl that's right I had one of my bedroom and I got the long cord so I could walk in circles around my bedroom. Is if you watch me on the phone,

I'm like a, I don't know, I'm like a, I get this little raccoon facing around the room. But I thought to myself, you know, when that technology came out, when the phone technologies were changing back then, it must have been just as exciting as the phone technologies that change now, like when we heard about the iPhone, or you know, there's a new version of the whatever, the home screen

or whatever. We get all excited about this. It's a new technology that we have to learn just like when we got those iPhones, those computers in our hands. How excited were people back then? And I was lucky enough to find a video. I was trolling on the internet as I do like to do Chrissy in between, you know, ranting and raving about the guy with the 14-foot dick.

Oh. Oh. Hey you. Yeah you. Thanks for listening to another episode of The Commercial Break. tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go to connect with Chrissy and I. You can find out more information about the two of us.

Listen to all the audio or watch all the video all from one location. YouTube.com slash the commercial break is the place to be if you want daily clips and full episodes two days after they release on your favorite audio platform. At the commercial break on Instagram and 661-237-8296, that's 661, the word best, the number 2, y-o-yo. Give us a text message. Leave us a voicemail. Tell us how you feel about the show. Leave us content ideas, comments, questions, concerns.

We'll take it all at 661-237-8296. Please do us a favor and leave us a comment and a review on your favorite podcast player. It's the only way the show grows and we appreciate all those people who have done so lately. We're gonna take a moment to tell you about our sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. Ah, this episode is sponsored in part by our good friends at Mint Mobile, and yes, that includes Ryan Reynolds. He's a good friend of the show. I know he listens.

My in-laws come in every summer and every holiday, and every summer and every holiday we have the same issue. They would pay an arm and a leg to use their international SIM cards here inside the United States. That was until our good friends at Mint Mobile hooked us up with a $15 a month plan that they can use with any existing unlocked phone. Mint Mobile offers premium wireless service at just $15 a month, and the reason they can do this is because they're an online only service.

No expensive retail stores or pushy sales people trying to sell you products you'll never need. Mint Mobile gives you the best rate whether you're buying for one or you're buying for an entire family. All plans come with unlimited talk and text plus high-speed data that's delivered on one of the nation's largest 5G networks. Let me repeat that all plans including the $15 one come with unlimited talk, text and data. To get your new wireless to at mendmobile.com slash TCB. Thanks, man, mobile for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. I found a video made by the phone companies talking about dial tone technology.

Oh. And it's in a narrative format. So it's like a little play that they're doing, a little acting. I like it. I would love to. Here is a little video that they're doing, a little acting. I like it. I would love to. Here is a little video that we're gonna review about the dial tone phone. Ha!

Da da da da! The phone! Ha! You two can dial a phone! Meanwhile, every switchboard operator around the world is like, fuck him out of a job! That... Daoom comes to town! Presented by Bell Systems, which is AT&T today by the way. Yes. Yes.

Hi, folks. Hi, man. Oh, hello, Charlie. What's for you today? Both, same old thing, I guess. Same old? Same old. One to the bar. How do a couple beers?

Got a hooker. What are you doing? Yes. If you want to dance. Good. I was wondering where that young, young kid was. Where's Mom? What's it?

Paperboy. Oh. Yeah. Grandpa likes to chase him down the street. Where's my newspaper? What's a newspaper? What's a newspaper? It's a newspaper.

I'm going to help her so that I finish this algebra problem. Oh, that's good. Those were nice words, honey. I'm going to go upstairs now. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea.

That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. a woman you don't need algebra. Oh Jenny, you know what it says here? They're going to take out all our phones and put in them time with dials on them. Oh Graham, that's yummy, does it sound good? Oh Graham, that's yummy, that's delicious!

What's up with this girl's voice? I don't know, it sounded yummy to say yummy. It's kinda good. This girl's voice. Why, yummy. I don't know. It sounded yummy to say yummy. Say it. I have to get super. I'm sure. Kids these days. What are you talking about? I shut the fuck up.

You don't understand anything. Have you ever seen a man's head blown off I have? World War I and II. I said, oh, sir. As soon as a man gets used to one thing, by golly somebody wants to take away from him. Put grass. We've had it all fun. Sure as man gets used to one thing, by golly somebody wants to take it away from him.

Put grass. We can't help but find him. That's the beginning of time. We can't use to one thing like walking and then they give us a horse. And then before that the next thing you know there's a wheel and then all the sudden the drive and the horses with the wheels. I'll tell you a man can't keep up these days. I'm going to satisfy these days. Folks are getting more worried about being modern and they are over the three square meals. I'm going to call a man to hug him straight in and find out what he thinks about all his

business. It's the grandpa's best. I'm gonna call it, that sounds like Brian. I just realized that sound like this guy. I'm gonna call old ass and find out I'm gonna call old holy and find out what she thinks about this whole mess. Hey, holy! A man cutting front of me and lying today. So now here's Grandpa coming up to the phone, the actual phone, like a receiver, that he

would just pick up and then it would connect him with who up the board. Give me three four four j Three three four j Give me three Give me three other sticky Yucky and two other dimpties down That sound like a wheat train Yeah Give me three and four j and I want twelve LSD cookies.

Send the right to three, four, seven maple straight. Finally. Don't talk too long, Graham. That will be bringing in a few minutes. Never miss a meeting. Shut up, Grandpa. It's hard to cook with all that. Yeah, it's.

The food tastes better when you're quiet. I'm gonna start now. Alright. Hello. Ed? I say, is this Ed Hoster? I say! Is this Ed? I say, I say, is this Ed? Yeah, this is Ed, what of it?

This is John. Hey, John, I'm used to getting the carrier pigeon from you. What you doing on the old telephone? Well, get along close to your phone. You got a bike head. What say what? What the fuck is the interaction I've ever seen? Too old men, John. Wow. By the way, this sounds like my dad today.

Oh! Can you hear me? I was talking about the airplane sky-rated. Doing all kinds of tricks Right over town sure What is that what he was talking about now listen to this listen to this he wasn't talking about this Listen, there's a yeah, there's a there's a point to this now watch Now he thinks he's got all the stuff. Oh, that's going to be confused for days.

That'd make all the means, proper, hang up and run outside. Here's the problem. When you had lines like this, they'd often get crossed, right? And so people could pick up the phone and because of the way that the, how bad the telephone wires were, you could pick up your phone and potentially hear what your neighbor was saying because the wires were all crossed.

Okay. And so what he did was he said, there's sky writing going on above town. So everybody would hang up and go outside. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. Ah. Ah. Ali, you ain't changed a bit. That's pretty. You ain't changed a bit. You're still doing blow. And you're still drinking a quart of whiskey

and screwing crazy women and having those blow parties over to half. Blake, can we get them off the line so we can hear better. Are you going to the bad bunny show this Saturday? That's funny. Dial telephone? Yes, I did hear something about it down the grocery store this morning. Did you hear about what asked push it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I ain't gonna get it in. No, I just wondering why they wanted to change something that still works alright. Is that for all those people that were listening?

Yeah, I know. Let's turn on FaceTime and talk about it that way. This is so like foreign to us. I know, and this was made in the 50s. But our children will look it back on the day when I was looking at some Camar like some TV footage of the days the first week after the iPhone came out Yeah, and it is just as strange as watching this video right yeah because no one knew what it was or how to use it and the it was Completely completely we were completely naive about what to do with it.

Yeah. I see here. I need no more old fashioned viewer. Grab will get used to it, Jeannie. She said the same thing when I got my new washer remembered. And you hit. And you wouldn't go near for weeks. He even likes to work it now.

Charlie, Jeannie says we're going to have dial phones put in. Grab breath. Well, that's nice, dear, but I didn't say anything to you. So you mind shutting up so I can think. Get back to your washer, Gene. This is a, this, this thing about some of these videos back from the 50s is they take one little thing, like dial tones coming to town and all of a sudden

it's a big emergency in the phone. Blow it. Yeah, blow it up. That's I don't worried. Grandpa will get used to it. Oh, I'm just so scared. He won't. What happens? What does dick fall off on? I thought it's in the paper. Yes, I heard about it today. I have to be a fine improvement for us here in town. It means pretty fast. Up to date service. You can pour the water honey. Okay, now.

God, I wish my children were like that. Yeah, God, I wish my children were like that. You can pour the water, Matias. Especially you can pour the water, Matias. That means I'm gonna be cleaning up water for the next 10 days. That's true. We asked our old work stuff. He's trying to get hot, get it now. Yeah, so I heard him hollering out there in the hall.

But he'll be all right when he hears I might be some new construction going on. He'll be all right when he dies. He'll be down there every day if he can and tell him how to, he'll be alright when he hears there might be some new construction going on. He'll be alright when he dies. He'll be alright every day if he can and tell him how to... He'll be alright. He's not much long for the tooth. I've been feeding him cyanide for weeks now. He'll be gone soon.

He'll be gone. Grandpa's getting expensive. We're about to put him to pasture. Do it. But what I hear, they're planning the whole meeting is around town later on. expensive. We're about to put them to pasture. Wow. Do it. But what I hear, they're planning the whole meeting is around town later on. What kind of meeting is Charlie?

Well, the kind women don't worry about. Help folks all about the new system. Hard work's never thing. John Cook will be the main speaker. John Cook? You know, you can telephone manager. Oh yes, sure. Oh yes, sure. We know everybody in town, don't we Don't cook. I don't even know my neighbors name. I don't even know my neighbors. The next parent teacher's meeting. I guess we have to figure out going then. Can I go

to the doctor? You won't have to Jeannie. You want to talk at a meeting in the school assembly for you kids. You don't hear about it then. Oh hey what's going out. Wow, the debt. Oh. This is a grandpa comes into the dining room. Hey, watch going on here. You all talking about killing me again? Yes, grandpa, we are. Well, do it with dignity. Meanwhile, he said that there's going to be a town meeting

with John Cook, the phone manager, man. You know, then John Cook's going to talk at the PTA meeting and then John Cook's going to come to the school assembly. He's making the rounds. He's making the rounds. Yeah, to promote it. Wow. And we get upset about Facebook.

We get upset about Facebook. I mean, look how crazy this is. Is that AT&T is coming to talk to the children at school. It was a different time. This country has always been run by corporations, always, since day one. Sure. Yeah, candy, talk. Which of these separateers is going to be late for?

Oh, you're getting time. We're talking about going to a meeting, Dad. The telephone company wants to tell us all about this new dial service. Meeting tonight? Can't go. You're going to watch a hand to hug. Can't go. It's a watch, can't go. Can't go. It's a night.

I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up.

I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up.

I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta stand up. I gotta say? I don't think that. I don't think that. Well, that would have been a lot better if he did. The watch and the fox that I paint

his wife's papry. Well, Dan, you'll be able to go to this. I gotta go watch it. May in his wife's jam, Yam. That's so weird. We're doing some cuckolding later on tonight. She's getting wild. We're meeting all right. Won't be for some time yet. Oh, they're at the meeting now. It's a big one.

This could be an argument coming up. I feel like the town people are gonna revolt against dials I mean, it's a big affair. Everybody's really dressed up. I got to find his hats and sunday fast No handles in this No finest hats and sunday fast. No, so some sandals in this place. No. A.K. No beer belly motherfucker with long beard here.

No, no Disney crepes. To the occasion when up and running the world again. Oh, look, Chrissy, it's John Cook. You know, the telephone manager got you know him yeah and there's a there's a big chalkboard with a dial tone phone face on it and I think John's gonna show us how to use it I think he is gonna demonstrate meanwhile listen to this music who's it's me Who I say is the best way to save the Queen don't do anything go to church wash your clothes eat your food It won't be long now until you're no dialed Telephones are ready to serve you John Cook looks blocked. I know you're as glad as I am

John Cook. Yeah Yeah, he looks big doesn't he it won't won't be long now, but if our dial tone will be able to serve you. We're going to have, and it's up-to-date, telephone system here as any in America. Now, most of you are acquainted with what a dial telephone looks like, because nearly all of the installations have been made in your whole life. I am positive, I thought they didn't want to be able to go.

No, Grampo was busy worrying about painting her nae nae in her yap-yap for whatever. Pappy. Pappy. It's wife. It's wife's pappy. It's fainting his wife, pappy. That's what it sounded like. That's what he said.

It's been going. He'd be painting your wife. He'd be painting your friend's wife's pappy was just a thing you did back then. It was. Yeah was kept killed the time time to where you probably know this the wiring that runs to your homes has been checked new poll lines have been put up and no cable has been pulled into place

things were happening behind the scenes too. And now it's paying off government officials and and private your local congressman. The planning and the work on your new dial system has been underway for some time. A good money months ago our engineers drew up the plans for the new equipment. It was built to these specifications in Western electric factories. Tell us. What was happening there? Well, I think they were pulling and now they're showing factory like people doing things in the factory. And I think he was pulling up I don't know. Who the hell the iPhone works? Yes, it is

exactly how the iPhone works. They pull 100-foot long, you know, computer machines. Yeah. Brian's got to use his Bank of America application. Pull the left lever. On equipment is pretty much standard throughout the whole bell system. But each community has its own telephone needs. And our equipment must be built to fit those needs. Not only for the today, but for years to come. Sometimes no buildings. It's the only new.

Imagine how many billions and billions and billions of dollars got spent building all these systems that then just overnight basically went away. But they're doing the same thing now with the cell phone towers. 4G, 5G, 6G, I mean, 7G. They're already working on LTE 7 and all this other stuff. And it's just like, everything becomes obsolete. This is why these companies, to some degree, have to be so big is because they build the infrastructure that we all live off of, and if they weren't that big and making that much

money, they wouldn't be able to do it. Yeah. required to hold the dial equipment. In these cases, we try to have them harmonized with the surroundings. It took a lot of time for our men to install equipment for dial service. One wire at a time. Yeah, one wire at a time. We've kept them there 23 hours a day. He's a liar. But what about my old wire? I like it just fine. Is to put the new telephones in your homes. A little later on, I'm going to ask Miss White to our traffic department to demonstrate how to make a call with your dial telephone. But right now, I want you to listen to a man who has been working

on the job of getting. But right now, below your seat, there is a glass-like device with water in the bottom of it. I want you to take your cigarette lighter and smoke a little bit of it, and then we'll all later on we'll talk about how much it costs. Hello, service ready for use. I'd like Mr. Johnson of our plant department to get up and tell you what happens during the actual cutover from the old system to the new one. Now this should be riveting.

You're all fucked. From our plant system. I'm sorry, I make plants. Sorry, I'm growing plants. Is it am I? Yeah. Well, ladies and gentlemen, of course you know from what you've already heard that putting things in good shape for the new system has been quite a job.

The main thing now is we're heading toward the time when we make the actual change to the new service, what we call the cutover. So that there'll be no break in the community service. This would all be nice. There are a bunch of guys in a factory staring at wires wearing goggles. Wearing magnifying goggles. Yeah, they're magnifying goggles. Yeah, they've got to get that tiny wire into the...

Or maybe they're afraid that they're going to open up a portal to hell when they do the cutover. This is where strange things, this is a strange things episode to me. In a few seconds. Whoa. You can see these are mighty important seconds. Wow. And mighty exciting.

They are literally holding a bunch of switches with gloves and goggles on. How many people died in the cutover? A lot. A lot. Apparently so. It was hazardous. Because you know when you wear that much safety equipment, it's because you've learned that you need that much safety equipment.

Exactly. So unfortunately, there are a couple of bobs and charles that went along the way. Yes. When the signal is given, the little fuses are pulled out of the lines that were part of the switchboard service. Whoa. That's not going to have a whistle to his lips. Fuses are pulled out of the lines that were part of the switchboard service. Oh Yeah, he literally signal that it was time for the cutover. Can you imagine being it like hearing all like being alive when this was going on? Yeah I don't know when they turned on HBO at my house. I was really

I heard goggles And gloves. Yeah, now I complain when my and the and when my uh... when my dv artisan pauses fast enough i might have to have it what little do i know is that there's someone has to blow a whistle to turn on my little dvr this is how it all happens christy and this is how they make the mustard most the same instant

few seconds at most we close the connections in the dial apparatus and it is ready to handle your calls. From then on you will have a dependable electrical operator at your service. Ready at an instant notice. One grandpa, he looks partly confused, partly drunk and partly asleep. Yes. You got to go to youtube.com slash the commercial where I can check this out. This guy who's playing grandpa is a perfect, I mean, he's perfect for this.

He is. We'll be there 24 hours a day to handle your calls. Instead of hearing the familiar number please, you will hear the dial tone, which says the same thing, electrically. Thank you, Mr. Gautam. That was a long explanation. Oh, it's white. Well, maybe you've got points here, so I'm using your new dial telephone. Miss White.

Yeah, that sure was a long explanation. For this way. I would say listen bitches, in like 15 minutes, I'm gonna blow whistle. And some little dudes, some little green men with glasses and gloves are gonna turn your shit on! Pretty soon you'll be dialing one nine hundred suck on this! Oh yeah! A Mr. Johnson has just told you that your calls are handled in the dial system by an electrical operator. Of course you've got to understand that the dial system doesn't do away with a need for

human operators. Although more than half the telephones in America are dialed, we have more operators than we ever had before. Better service means that people make more calls. And more calls mean more operators. Dial or no dial, you'll still be placing out of town call, you'll still want us to find unlisted numbers for you. Oh, you may need no unlisted phone numbers. How do you find those? I'm trying to find one nine hundred gay bear. Can you please look that up

for me? Oh grandpa, you're up to it again. Ha-ha-ha. Number, please. I don't know the number. That's why I've called you. It's un-lucid. Where's that electrical operator you're talking about? Get me a touch with her. In an emergency, so don't worry.

You'll find operators just as before when you need them. Now, I'm sure that most of you have used a dial telephone before, but perhaps you'd like to know why it works the way it does. But you have this equipment over here to demonstrate. Do you think there are still operators around? No. No. No.

You don't think there's any operators, like there's any actual human being on the... Like if we dialed zero right now Do you think that we could get a hold of somebody and say I'm having trouble placing a call? No It's a little sad Not that sad. What happened all those operators? This big dial looks like the one you have on your new telephone Suppose you've got a number you want to call.

What's the first thing you do? Take up your receiver and listen for the dial. Ah, this is gonna be a long explanation. Oh yeah. Pay attention kids, get out your pen and paper. Sounds awful. Wow, that's totally obnoxious. Why was that what you heard? That sounded like a computer fart. The dial tone is the equipment's way of telling you that it's ready to put through your call. As Mr. Johnson pointed out, it's the same as an operator saying, number please, if you don't hear the dial tone within a reasonable time, hang up, wait a few seconds and then try again. As soon as you hear the dial tone,

you're ready to dial dial number you want. Yeah, it's just a nice pleasant relaxing. It's kind of like a furry ASMR. No stress. But before we do that, let's examine the dial itself for a moment. Oh my god, if we got to go over the numbers, no thank you. No, no, no. Oh, thank you kids for taking that journey with us. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I say it. You have to look back. Yeah, to look ahead. To look forward.

We have to cut in line to get one step ahead. That's right. Asshole. To get that crab leg first. I mean, what made me so upset? Honestly, it was not the fact that the guy cut in line. People cut in line all the time. You just had to, you know, sometimes there's just an asshole

in the crab. It's that he felt like a four-year-old child needed to be cut in front of because a four-year-old child He's to be told, lesson Was threatening his manhood. Yeah, he needs to be spun a lesson Hurry up, honey, show this four-year-old Men, men go into water slides first First! First!

How dare this four-year-old get in my way I've got a long beard, can't he see that? Yeah Something tells me he's got daddy issues. That's what happens. Alright, kids, sign the treaty. Don't be a dick on an elevator. Don't steal all the lobster crab legs. And don't cut in front of small children on the water slide line. That's all I'm asking. That's all I'm asking. That's all we need to know.

Put that on the website. Yeah. Hey, while you're on your dial tone phone, 661-237-8296, that's 661, the word best, the number two, why OYO text messages and voicemails are welcome. Comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, you can send them to that phone number. It's not a spam text message line. We actually do respond to most text messages that come through. And you leave us a voicemail who knows, you might hear yourself on the commercial break. Wee! So be careful what you say, knows you might hear yourself on the commercial break. So be careful what you say because you might hear yourself on the commercial break. We've got more story time coming up over the next couple of

episodes. I got another story from one of our listeners. I do not claim the validity of these stories but they sure are funny so we'll take a listen to that. youtube.com slash the commercial break. That channel is being revamped. We've got like 13 new episodes, well they're actually episodes that aired, but they're new to the YouTube channel. Coming up in the next week, YouTube.com slash the commercial break. That's where you go subscribe and like on your favorite video.

Comment, we love it, grade us, review us. Please help us out, spread the words, tell your friends, tell the cat cat no one cares. Let's go Huh What else can I do to that? I think that's a Alright, I love you. I love you Best of you Best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I always say we do so and we must say

Byeじゃあ、アンウェーマースター!バイ!S Thank you.