The Commercial Break - Pavlov's Bryan

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

Episode #648: It’s that time of year again, when Bryan complains…wait…that’s all year. Well, there’s some grievance airing and some EXPLOSIVE Yellowstone commentary. The holiday season of tesla cybertrucks & neighborhood dads Air your grievances like Bryan! Roundabouts Smokey & his “Gasms” Bryan does math! A TCB Retrospective…some of the darkest days of my life! Bryan’s formative McDonald’s days I (Christina) will literally never get Bryan & Krissy out of my head Yellowstone Some EXPLOSIVE trailers Ted Turner Letterman Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey Chrissy, best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's the holiday season and a lot of times, podcasts like ourselves will take off, but not us, Chrissy, we have bills to pay and miles to feed. So we are going to be producing brand new episodes of The Commercial Break this entire holiday season.

And I thought it was important to let our audience know. Jingle, jingle all the way home. Jingle, jingle your dingle dangles. Stick with The Commercial Break and stay tuned for the 12 Days of TCB, our ever 12 days of that's right December 13th Through Christmas Day brand new episodes every day On this episode of the commercial break. Here she is, you know, serving food out the window just like I was back then.

And then I hear that fucking frying machine. I'm like a Pavlovian dog. Something turns in my head and I'm like, get those fries, get those fries, you gotta get those fries, the fries are gonna burn. Get those fries, put them in there and shake that salt while they're still hot. You better do that, right? Not too much salt, just a little bit of salt, not too much! The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley.

Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Hope you're doing well, smack dab in the middle of holiday season. I hope you're, uh, des- revving down, de-stressing, having fun. I personally rev up because a lot of old ladies are out there on the road, a lot of old ladies and old men, especially in my part of town, are out there driving

maliciously, slowly, in front of me, and it drives me fucking badly! Can't take it. I just can't take it. I hate the Christmas season for, I, excuse me, let me repeat that. I love the Christmas season, but I dislike being on the roads during the Christmas season for I do I excuse me. Let me repeat that I'd love the Christmas season, but I dislike being on the roads during my season because it seems like every noodnik who got their fucking license on the back of a cereal box is out there driving around trying to find the gifts for their

Great-grandson and they get in front of me and I go crazy crazy Either that or it's the soccer dad who thinks he's the police officer of the neighborhood so he's gonna drive exactly 33 miles per hour in a 35 zone to make you slow down young man fuck yo I got places to go and the 75 children and then and then I seem to be living in the land of Tesla trucks up here and and it's driving me, but there it is, I can't take it. There are so many Tesla trucks where I live. So many Tesla trucks, and they all,

all of them seem to be driving like assholes. Why are you driving a Tesla truck in the middle of North Suburbs in Atlanta? There's no good reason. Never ever has a tool been in the back of that truck, and never will be. Why are you driving it? What? What are we doing? You're driving a refrigerator around my town. Stop it. Is there an ice maker in that thing? I don't know. Okay, listen, I get it. Some people

think it's a cool car and it has nothing to do with politics and they don't care about Elon Musk. They just think it's a cool car. Okay, God bless you. I'm not saying you shouldn't ever own a Tesla truck because Elon Musk or politics or whatever, but honestly, can you drive like a fucking human being, take it off auto drive or whatever is going on because those Tesla trucks, anytime I get behind one to the side of one or in the front of one,

someone is always driving rather erratically in those things. And I think it's because they can't see because there's no right angles in the car. It's perpendicular, angles everywhere. 50 feet off the ground, there are 75 different window shades and colorings and angles. How do you see out of that thing? I guess it's got magic cameras that keeps it on the road or something. Whatever, just stop it. Stop it. I think all the grandmothers and grandpas, all the Tesla trucks and all the soccer dads who want to be police officers, they should all just have their own neighborhood where they can drive around and piss each other off and see who can drive the slowest or furthest outside of the lane. I swear to God.

I was driving down the street the other day and out of a, like one of these blind drives comes this Tesla truck and it's just going 70 miles per hour outside its own driveway. And I came within 12 feet, 15 feet of getting in a terrible accident. He did not stop. He did not look. There was no brake supply. It's like a tank. It is a tank. Barreling down the road.

Yes, it's a tank. But I have a suspicion it's not really a tank. Like if you were to get in a car accident, it would probably crumple more like styrofoam because it just looks, I just don't like the look of it. Listen, I know a lot of people are, there's like, it's mixed reviews, right? Some people are like, it's just not utilitarian.

It's for people who want to drive a car that's mixed reviews, right? Some people are like, it's just not utilitarian. It's for people who want to drive a car that looks like that, right? But I don't like the look of them. There's Tesla cars that I love the look of, like those Tesla, you know, the, the coupes and the sedans or whatever you fucking call, I don't know if a car terms, you know, the good regular cars. I think they're beautiful cars.

And I've looked at them. I do too, and they're great inside, too. Yes, I've looked at them. We thought about buying one, but that truck does make no sense to me. It makes no sense to me. It looks terrible. It looks terrible. It literally looks like Elon Musk, I don't know, had sex with a refrigerator. I mean, that's all. I don't know. It just looks weird. It just looks weird. It does. Yes. I agree. And all the dads up here that are driving these things around, running people off the road,

you know, it's just like, come on, guys, get a regular truck that you don't put tools in. Be like the rest of the idiots and get a regular truck that you don't put tools in. Does that thing even have a place for tools? I don't know. I guess the pop top's up or whatever. I've watched videos on it. Anyway, I'm not here to talk about tin cans and Elon Musk and driving a can of pinto beans around town. Well, I think we might be... Is this a Festivus episode? Because you just aired your grievances. Oh, I did. Yes, maybe it's Festivus. Nothing like turning on the commercial break in the middle of the holidays to hear Brian whine and complain about white people problems.

Only an old white man can complain about other old white men in a way that makes no sense whatsoever. All right. Okay. I'm done. But here's what I do have to say about driving because you spend a lot more time, I think, in your car during the holiday season, getting to and fro, going shopping, just generally, you know, taking the kids to activities and all this if you have kids. But so I'm relying-

Parties, grocery stores. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. All the stuff. And there tends to be more traffic because more people are out on the road more often doing whatever it is they do for the holidays, whatever the fuck grandma is doing. Who let grandma out of the house, by the way? Honestly. It's hard to take away those keys, I'll tell you that. It is. And I don't know.

I live in this part of town where, you know, it's a mixed bag. There's guys like me who are very angry running, banging their heads against the steering wheel. Angry driving. Driving as fast as they possibly can to wherever they're going. There's, you know, people, like I said, there's dads and moms who believe they are police officers. So they drive two miles per hour under the speed limit to slow you down or everybody else behind you. I don't get it. When you're driving, and I know like if not everybody feels comfortable driving, some people get scared of driving or they want to be really cautious, as they should be because you're driving essentially a murder weapon around, right?

Right. But when you're driving down a two lane street, one lane each way, when you're driving down a two lane street and you're going seven miles per hour under the speed limit and there is a line of 40 cars behind you, all of which are just like driving so close to each other because everyone wants to literally drive over the person in front of you.

Don't you ever just like look back and go, oh, I'm causing a bit of a traffic jam back there. I guess I should put the pedal up just a little bit. Do you ever, I mean, I just wonder. I don't think they're thinking that. I think they're just, no. I think they're in their own world. I think they're noodniks that just are, oh, oh.

There's also a lot of people from out of town. Safety first. Coming through and whatever, visiting. I'll give you a little bit of a break if you've got a out of people from out of town coming through and whatever. I'll give you a little bit of a break if you've got an out-of-state license plate. I'll give you a little bit of a break. We have a roundabout here and roundabouts in Florida, pretty common. Roundabouts in Georgia, not as common, but they're there. They're becoming more.

More and more because they are fantastic traffic diffusers. It's much better than a light. If it's the right setup, right? If you're in a major intersection than a light, then it doesn't make a lot of sense. But in Europe, they have traffic circles almost every, very rarely do you see an actual traffic light. There's Big Ben folks, kids.

Big Ben, Parliament, Big Ben, Parliament. You get stuck in the roundabout. Yeah, sometimes, yeah, when we were in France in the Arc de Triomphe, that is like a notoriously dangerous, very complicated roundabout. Even the Arc de Triomphe, that is like a notoriously dangerous, very complicated roundabout. Even the cab drivers get nervous about it. They'll tell you they're nervous about it.

And so when we went there and I rented a car, we drove all over Europe. We drove from Barcelona to Paris, this was a number of years ago, and my brothers were behind me in another car. And I will tell you something, for the seven hour drive from wherever we were in France to Paris, all I could think about was that we were going to have,

our hotel was near the Arc, I was going to have to go on that roundabout. For seven hours, I strategized about how I was going to do this because I had been there before and I knew that even the taxi drivers take it easy. Like they very calculated about how they get in that traffic circle. There are seven lanes and everyone is moving every different way. Yeah, you have to. That's crazy.

The only good news is the traffic's only moving in one direction or should be, but bikes, so many scooters, cars, taxi drivers, it doesn't, a blinker in that situation doesn't, it doesn't matter because people are just gonna move over anyway, like it's all so confusing. Wow, that is confusing. And the people who are like in the very last lane near the arc, right? What are they doing all the way over there? I guess they're just taking a tour around the arc a bunch of times. I don't know. It's, take a look at a picture of it. It's intimidating.

And, but I got through it and we did it a number of times and we got through it, but I'm telling you it's, it's take a look at a picture of it. It's intimidating. And, uh, but I got through it and we did it a number of times and we got through it, but I'm telling you it's, it's, anyway, there's a traffic circle up here with one lane. That's it. Yes. One circle. That's all you gotta do. Yield to the person that's coming.

Like if you pull up to a traffic circuit, you look to your left, uh, here in the United States, you look to your left and you say, is there anyone coming? Do I, am I calculating that I have enough distance to make it, not bother anybody else or cause anybody else to stop short? Okay, great, go. Yeah, that's it. Not really that hard, right? Not all that hard. And I understand if it's your first traffic circle ever, maybe you take a few extra seconds to get your bearings and understand what's going on. If you're a cautious driver, maybe you make sure there's a lot of space in between it. But I go in that traffic circle every fucking day, sometimes multiple times a day.

And sometimes the out-of-state drivers, I give them a little bit extra time because I'm like, okay, this might be your first traffic circle ever. I got to be aware of that, right? But if you have a license plate from the same town that I live in and you know, or you're my, I know that you live, I can literally know you live on my street and you sit there and just wait and wait and wait. You wait till the entire traffic circle is clear. There's no one there and has been no one there for a minute and a half before you go. You are officially a dumbass. You gotta go. And then there's 3000 cars behind you. Oh my God, Christie drives me crazy.

And you know what? I should let that shit go. I honestly should. I'm a grown man. I shouldn't get all worked up about this. And I'm so much better than I used to. This is so much better than I used to be, by the way. This right now is so much better than I used to be.

And I'm not gonna get into, I'm not road rage incidents that's not for me. I don't hit people, get out of my car, yell at people, I don't do that. I secretly stew inside of my head. Letting it all- And then let it out here. Yes, let it all boil up until the next episode of the commercial break. That's what I do, you're right.

You're so right about that. But we're all here spending so much more time in our car because of this. I said to myself, well, you better get acclimated to a couple of channels on Sirius that I like that I can chew on, right? And so there's the old go-tos. There's the news stations, BBC World, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News,

if you really want to drive yourself crazy. And then there's the music stations, Christmas, all of the rock and pop and all that other stuff. So I'm listening to whatever station I'm listening to on Sirius, which is wonderful by the way. I love Sirius. I think they're lovely.

Odyssey's better, but I love Sirius. They're great. As a satellite radio company. I will tell you that I heard the most disturbing thing I think I've heard all season yet, and that is that Smokey Robinson has his own Christmas channel. Smokey Robinson, guys. Oh, okay. He's got a lot of hits. I want to remind you. Yeah. Christmas hits?

Probably. Probably. He's been around all the time. Yeah, he was in Motown. I bet they put out a Christmas album in 4th of July. They put out two Christmas albums a year, I think, at Motown. They bet they put out a Christmas album in 4th of July. They put out two Christmas albums a year, I think, at Motown. They were just hit makers, like hit after hit after hit after hit. And I think part of the formula was keep putting the music out all the time, never stop. A constant traffic circle.

A traffic circle, yes. It's the Arc de Triomphe. Seven lanes, always cars in there. But do I need to remind you of the crime that Smokey Robinson laid on us earlier this year when he dropped an album? Oh, that's right. And I just want to play a little bit of it for the audience that may not have picked this up. Smokey Robinson earlier this year dropped an album, and that album is so fucking disturbing that it's almost criminal to play it on air. But I'm going to play a little bit of it,

and because I can't play too much of it, because I'm sure Smokey and his gang are gonna come after us. Smokey and the gang. Smokey and the Four Tops or whatever it is. I'm gonna come after us. His gang. Okay, all right. All right, ready? Listen to this.

I'm ready. Okay, all right. Ready? Listen to this. I'm ready. Okay. Oh yeah, the smooth sounds of Smokey Robinson's Christmas Channel on Sirius. You'll hear hits like Gazm's. The worst part is this ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know what I'm saying, Chris? I mean, I can get into the music part of it. But... Ah, chasm! When I look at you, it makes me feel better than good. When I look at you, it makes me feel better than good. And what I see is you and me together forever. Ooh!

I'm knockin' on wood. Wait, he's knockin' on what? Wood? Ha ha! Every kind of chasm in the woods. Here it comes! GASM GASM GASM GASM GASM Each eye has them Every time I take a look you give me GASM

Eye GASM Eye GASM You're the one responsible for my GASM GASM GASM GASM GASM I'm a bad girl singer's coming in. Can you imagine? Hey, Tina, it's Tony the manager. Hi, Tony. Listen, I got it.

You're not going to believe this. I just got you booked on an amazing album. You're gonna be a backup singer for Smokey Robinson. Smokey? I've always wanted to work with Smokey. What's he doing? I'm gonna send over the lyrics. Just be mindful. Smokey's in his old age and, you know, he may not be well. Oh, okay. Gazums! You booked me on what?

Gazums! You say orgasm? No, just gazums. No or just gazums. We're going to gazums, gazums, gazums. Basically, I'm paying you to repeat the word gazums over and over again in tune. This is the highlight of my career! Gazums. Gazums, gazums, gazums. You give me gazums.

Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum.

Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazum. Gazum, gazum, gazumazzums, you give me gazzums. Gazzum, gazzum, gazzum. Gazzums. Smokey Robinson put out an album earlier this year with many songs that the lyrics

are questionable. But I think we can all just agree that just hearing gazzums pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the album. There are other songs that are just as strange lyrically. I swear to God there are. I listened to a number of them in my own free time, as not to bother you. But I'm telling you right now, take my word for it.

This is weird. And Smokey Robinson is a fucking legend. Don't get me wrong. Love Smokey. Yes he is. I grew up on Smokey Robinson in, I'd never forget that high five that my grandfather and grandmother had in their house in Melrose Park, Illinois, extraordinarily Italian neighborhood, which meant that there was a lot of gangsters around.

But also there was some flavor in the neighborhood, right? There was a lot of, in that Italian culture, there was a lot of people who were very much into Motown and that was the sound of the streets for some folks. And so my grandfather and grandmother, they really picked up on that. And so they had some of the best albums on that Hi-Fi. And when I say Hi-Fi, I mean a cabinet that was six feet long, When I say Hi-Fi, I mean a cabinet that was six feet long, three and a half feet tall, made of pure wood that had two speakers embedded into a decorative wood paneling. Right?

And then you would pop open, it just looked like a cabinet. And then you would pop it open and there was that beautiful record player. And then it had storage for the records or the eight tracks. It also had an eight track and it was fancy. This thing was a new fangle. That was the technology of the day. And Smokey Robinson was, there were multiple Smokey Robinson albums, multiple Motown. Had to be.

My grandfather and grandmother gave me a gift and that is the taste of really good music early on in life. Now, I don't know what happened. It all went to shit when I got in 33 Penis. But I will say this, that Smokey Robinson was the sound of a lot of Christmases and a lot of holiday get togethers and festive events and stuff like that. Because my grandmother and grandfather would lay it down. I mean, they would just lay it down. It was incredible. That's fun. But I don't know who is managing Smokey Robinson right now. And I'm not saying that maybe Smokey decided to do this on his own. Maybe it has nothing to do with his management.

But what in the good fuck were they thinking when they laid down gazums? Gazums, it just sounds disturbing. It just, just the word sounds disturbing. Like, I don't know. Hey baby, you want me to give you a gazum? No, I don't. Leave your penis, put your penis away.

What did you just say to me? I said, gazum, gazum, gazum, baby. I gazums, my gazums, GASM, GASM, baby. I GASM, my GASM, your GASM, orgasm. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth, Brian. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth, Brian. Please put that penis away. I don't know what that is. It's gross. I don't even know what that means in English, but I know in Spanish, it means mierda, shit.

in English, but I know in Spanish, it means mierda. Shit. Was that Astrid? That was Astrid. Of course it was. Yes. Astrid, my love of my life. It's time to go down to the retirement center again. You're getting a little crazy.

go down to the retirement center again. You're getting a little crazy. Let's go get your calcium checked, honey. Come on with me. No gassums for you today or tomorrow. Oh, I've been having gassums with the pool boy. Don't you worry about it. I've got plenty of gassums. So anyway, you know, I'm not, not to dissuade you from listening to us on the Odyssey app, I want

to make sure I'm playing it even here, but SiriusXM, if you want to check out Smokey Robinson's new Christmas channel, maybe they'll drop in a Gazem here and there. You never know. They have to. Of course they do. Yeah, that's probably the deal. Well, first of all, good for Smokey because you know you're getting banked when you have your own Sir serious channel.

I would imagine, how much you think they get, they pay somebody for like licensing rights? I don't even know, what's the going rate? Well, I would think 20,000 a week, 25,000 a week. Like something like that, $100,000 a month-ish, maybe a million bucks a year, a million, two a year. For someone like Smokey Robinson, there's lots of people who have their own channel, Billy Joel, Green Day, Pearl Jam, Fish, Grateful Dead, you know, they all have, and I would imagine it's

a licensing deal, but then they, like, at least on like some of those channels, giving like Pearl Jam as an example, they will have band members come in and either do like radio shows or talk in and out of songs or give little stories or whatever. It's a good thing. I like it. If you're into a particular musician and they give you your own channel, you can really have an opportunity to dig in. Bruce Springsteen's got, there's lots and lots of artists that have them. But I would think that it's a licensing thing. So it probably has to do with your record company Whoever owns the licensing to your music, but then I would imagine subscribers Yeah, how many subscribers they're getting a chunk of the revenue How many people tune in like they all say it's limited time, right?

It's on for a limited time But like Pearl Jam has been a limited time option for like six years and they play entire live concerts They do the same thing with Fish and Grateful Dead and a lot of these other champs, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, they'll play all these live concerts that they have in their archive, which is great for a fan if you wanna dig in and then you hear stories from band members

or the actual artists themselves is amaze-balls. And I would think that depending on how many people tune in, every year you renegotiate that contract, you say, oh, well, there's, you know, a hundred thousand people a week tuning in. So seven million dollars. Now, I think that the same thing could happen with Odyssey. They could have their own commercial break channel live on that Odyssey app. But I'm not saying, I'm just saying, if anybody from Odyssey is listening. They're smart over there. They know what's doing.

We certainly have enough in the vault to go back to. Oh yes. We could literally play episodes. Let me do a little mapping here. I'm just going to, before we take a break here. Let's see, 650 times 1.25, 812 divided by 24. You could literally play the commercial break for almost a month and a half and never repeat a word. Now, we probably repeat lots of words and stories, right? But you could play the commercial break for a month and a half and not repeat one episode. Oh, the possibilities. Oh my God, can you imagine?

Can you imagine? Can you imagine the glory that would be the Odyssey's commercial break channel, nonstop commercial break with additional commentary from the commercial break. Yeah, we would comment on our own shows. Yes, we'd comment on our own show. Well, I remember this time I told this story

about losing my virginity. Let me tell you the this story about losing my virginity. Let me tell you the story about me losing my virginity. Me commenting on my own stories by telling the same story. It would be brilliant. Brilliant. Who doesn't want that? Everyone. I know.

You know, one of the things that I will always remember about Sirius XM, a lot of things, like Sirius XM I do like, right? One of the things I really thought was revolutionary with Sirius XM is the audio documentaries that they would put together. And one of the ones that really blew my mind was the Howard Stern, like the Howard Stern, I don't know what they called it, like retrospective or whatever they called it. And this went on for weeks. They like literally took it year by year and they would do like an hour and a half, two hours of this documentary talking, getting comments

from his family and friends and people who were there at this time or that time or whatever turn in his career. It was quite revolutionary. It was made so well, created so well that you could not stop listening. And I remember, we were working at Clear Channel at the time, this was many years ago, I pulled into the parking lot and I pulled next to our market president at the time. And I was so engrossed in this audio documentary that I sat in the car for 30 minutes. And I noticed that the market- And you missed the meeting? Yeah, well, listen, the market president,

I missed all the meetings. What are you talking about? I was like, that's never there. The market president was also sitting in his car too. Oh, listening to the same thing. Listening to the same thing. But then it turns out we were not the only ones in the parking lot doing that.

There was like an audio engineer and another salesperson. And like when it ended, we all kind of got out of the car at the same time. We knew, we knew, we knew what was going on. It was so good. So wouldn't it be amazing to put together a retrospective of our almost five full years of the commercial break? Yes, yes, yes. The time we went broke, the time we stayed broke, the time we are broke. of our almost five full years of the commercial break.

Yes, yes, yes. The time we went broke, the time we stayed broke, the time we are broke. The time we spent all the money that we will make that we did make. The time we spent all the money that we did make. On the series. Full interview Astrid and Jeff.

Yes, Astrid, Jeff, then my kids, Blue, Noemi. Christina can be the disgruntled employee. Oh, it's brilliant. I love it. I love it. We should do it. Why don't we do that next year for the Christmas instead of signing us up for fresh content?

I put this challenge to Christina because this is all her. I'm not gonna do any of it. I mean, I could help out a little bit, I guess. I put this challenge to Christina because this is all her. I'm not gonna do any of it. I mean, I could help out a little bit, I guess. I put this challenge to Christina. If you wanna do like, you know, the story, the life of the commercial break, the story of the commercial break, a retrospective,

go for it. And we can play it next holiday. 2020 through 2024, the lost years. I know, the lost years, which is the entirety of the commercial break. Howard Sterns was like two weeks long. It was like literally 28 hours or something like that. Ours would be 28 minutes. I like it.

Yeah. Well, hey, listen, give the listeners a break from just hearing the regular, hearing us. Yeah. Well, hey, listen, give the listeners a break from just hearing the regular, hearing us. Here's the challenge, Christina, make the life of the commercial break using none of our voice. Everybody else just talking about it. I don't think you could find people to fill 28 minutes talking about the commercial break. All right. All right. We've gone so long. Let's take a break. We'll be back. In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being We're going so long, let's take a break, we'll be back. In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave.

So help me by following us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCBpodcast and go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now please text us at 212-433-3TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet! This episode is sponsored by free alcohol from Zbiotics. I am not one to and by the whole bunch anymore. I've got 13 to 15 children, checklists to get done and jobs to do. But even with moderation, I don't bounce back like I used to from a night of drinking. I find myself having to make that choice.

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We've now been out for a few nights of drinking where pre-alcohol is the first thing that I drink. Let me tell you, when I can get up in the morning, take care of my 12 to 13 children, still record an episode of the commercial break, and make it to bedtime with a little bit of energy left in the tank to watch bad television, I know that pre-alcohol has done its job. And with the holiday season upon us, I know I'm going to be consuming just a little bit of energy left in the tank to watch bad television, I know that pre-alcohol has done its job. And with the holiday season upon us, I know I'm going to be consuming just a little bit more alcohol than usual, but with pre-alcohol I can stay on track and not let the holiday

season throw me off course. Go to zbiotics.com slash commercial to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use the code COMMERCIAL at checkout. Zbiotics is backed by a 100% money-back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember to head to zbiotics.com slash commercial and use the code commercial at checkout for 15% off. Thank you to Zbiotics for being a sponsor of the commercial break and for making my mornings after drinking just a little bit easier. Exploring the effects of violent crimes on victims and search for justice We hope you join us as your weekly source for true crime news

Listen to and follow true crime news the podcast on the free odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts Okay all right a Little housekeeping here. I know that Christina probably just said it to you during the commercial break, but we'll say it again. All episodes of the commercial break now available on YouTube and soon on Spotify video. So there are some peppered in there videos on Spotify if you're interested in watching that.

But soon, Kristi and I will have all of the videos on YouTube, so please do us a favor, youtube.com slash the commercial break. We'd love it if you take a watch. I think watching us adds a layer of obnoxiousness to the show that you just can't afford to miss. You can't afford to miss it. So anyway, go ahead and watch that.

It's our Christmas gift to everyone. Yeah. We have a brand new video editing company. I will give them a shout and we plash. And so far so good, Chrissy. There you go. Well, we're only two episodes in. I was going to say, it's just been two days.

We have a team leader and I'm just wondering how long it's going to take him to be like, I'm out. I wonder how many team leaders we're going to go through in the next couple of months. Yeah, probably a lot. That's why I give Christine a credit. We all have our lovers and our haters out there in the audience, right? You've got, remarkably, except for Astrid. No one seems to hate this like Astrid, but the rest of us, we take our fair share of shit and we get our fair share of compliments, mainly all the other people. But anyway, I talk the most, so I get it. But I will say, I give Christina this credit, and I think it's a lot of credit, is that Christina has come in here and now is the other

person besides myself and you who have to sit in here and now is the other person besides myself and you who have to sit through it, but the only other person that has to listen to every single minute of the commercial break. And she really does a great job despite having to listen to us all the time. I mean, we must be in her head, you know. Oh, having dreams, I'm sure. So I take the kids to, I'll tell you this, and it'll lead back to Christina. So I take the kids to swimming, swimming class, which is an indoor facility here in Atlanta. And it's cold here in Atlanta,

and this place is humid and hot. Oh yeah, gotta be. It's like a fucking sauna. It's miserable. Chlorine smell. Oh, I love the chlorine smell. Don't mind that. Do you know that every time I've gotten a blood test,

I just, you know, I was going back, like looking at my blood test results because of the whole calcium thing. It was on an app. So I was just looking through it. Every year for like nine years, my chlorine level has been very high. I think it's me trying to manage that pool outside.

I think I'm just ingesting chlorine. No one seems to be worried about it, but no one seemed to be worried about my calcium outside. I think I'm just ingesting chlorine. No one seems to be worried about it, but no one seemed to be worried about my calcium either, so maybe I should ask. Anyway, so we go to this place and right next door is a McDonald's that I used to work at, right? That's the one you used to work at? I've been to that swimming facility. Oh, you have? Because I went to go drop off or pick up or do something. I dropped you off that swimming facility. Oh, you have? Because I went to go drop off- The one in Cobb County? Or pick up or do something. I dropped you off there one day.

Oh, yes, you did. Like over the summer or something. Yes, you did. That's right. Yeah. And I remember that there was the McDonald's right next to it. That McDonald's is the one that I used to work at. Okay.

I didn't know that was the famous one. That's the famous McDonald's. I had sex on top of that McDonald's one time. You were on the roof. I was on the roof. I was down in the basement. I was making movies. I was on the roof. I was down in the basement. I was making movies. I was smoking pot.

The owner was calling my dad to tell him I was smoking pot. I mean, there was a basement where we used to smoke cigarettes. I mean, like, it was really my- You don't think about a basement being at a McDonald's. I don't. No, but that's where they kept all like the, what they call dry stock, right? Like all the paper cups and sauces and all the stuff that was packaged that you could keep.

It was dry storage, essentially is what it was. But they also had an office and a break room because the guy who owned that McDonald's also owned a number of other McDonald's. That's usually the case. Yes, which I imagine made him fabulously wealthy, especially when I used to work there, it was like the golden days of like the, you know, the value menu, right? And Super Size Me and all that other shit. Yeah. There weren't as many choices either. No, no, no, no, not like there is today.

And if you ask for something special, trust me, we hated you, right? I mean, now it's not uncommon to go, I'll take a cheeseburger, no onions, no pickle, do it your way. But that was the other guys. That was the Burger King, have it your way. We were McDonald's and you just like,

you got what you got. And if you asked for what's called a grill item, quote unquote, a grill item was when you asked for something special. Trust me, if you had a grill item in the nineties, everyone at that McDonald's knew who you were and hated you. Nicole Soule-Nichols-Fleming Was there a secret menu too, when you worked there? Jared Soule-Nichols-Fleming There was a secret menu that we would make for ourselves, but it was almost never asked for. I mean, people would come in and ask for ridiculous things, right? They would ask for, let's see, what was some of the stuff?

Like, at the time we had triple cheeseburgers, you can ask for that, I believe now, they'll make one for you, but it's not something I think is on the menu, but we had triple cheeseburger menu and it was just three patties, three pieces of cheese, you know, this triple cheeseburger, you get it. Right. Just like it sounds. Right, just like it sounds. But we would, one of the guys that worked in the grill who had no teeth and no home, I mean, but the guy, but he was, his name was Larry, there were two Larrys that worked there. And Larry literally had no teeth and he was skinny as fuck and something

about him was fucking majestic to me. Like he was- We've talked about him before. He was so kind and so good at what he did and so competent at what he did and took pride in what he did. Even though he was a hot mess of a human being, I really admired his work ethic and the fact that he came in there every day, and now I imagine, high or hungover. He probably didn't lose his teeth on accident, you know what I'm saying? But he did it well, and whatever the mechanics of him doing that well were, I wasn't aware of at the time, I am now, it was probably a little bit of

pep in his step, but this guy was so fucking good at what he did. So kind. And as a 14 year old kid from the burbs who's coming in for his first job, you know, the, this guy didn't have to give me the time of day and probably could have real shitty attitude about working with a bunch of children, but that was the gig for the owner of the restaurant was to hire a lot of young people. Child labor. Child labor.

That's it, it's cheap. It's cheap, we work hard, we don't know the difference. Our parents think we're doing great, but really it's just cheap child labor. So anyway, this guy would make certain menu items for us if we asked for it, like triple cheeseburger with a Big Mac sauce or, you know, a special breakfast item. You, like, you know, believe this or not, bacon, egg McMuffin, pickles, best thing you've ever tasted, swear to God.

Okay. Those pickles with bacon and a muffin. If you put a cheese piece cheese on it, that's- You do like a good pickle. Oh my God, Christy. So delicious. So he would make these things. We never got asked. I know now it's like secret menu.

It's like fun to go and try and see if you can ask for it and get them to make it. But this place is some of my formative memories. I got into my first fist fight there. I had sex. I got into my first like- It's gotta be, yeah. It's just like everything happened there.

Now it's changed physically. They've renovated it and all this other stuff. And anyway, so we get out of the pool yesterday and Astrid's like, I know we don't want to do this, but what about the kids, it's like late at night, near the kids' bedtimes because we're, it's the, you know, there's a holiday. Well, plus it's dark at six. It is dark at four. It's crazy. I don't like it. I know. I don't like it either. It's completely like pitch black, dark at six. It is dark at four. I know. It's crazy.

I don't like it. I don't like it either. It's completely like pitch-black dark at six o'clock. It's crazy. I know, Jeff and we were talking about last night, we're like, I automatically just want to be like, night night. That's it. Yeah.

I automatically want to like tuck in. When two months ago, we were staying up late. I was eating dinner at nine. Yes. I was on European schedule. Yes. Now I turn into my parents, the early dinner. I'm with you. I feel like I'm retired. I'm officially retired during the winter. So she

says, hey, so the kids don't fall asleep in the car, get them a treat, go to go get some food at the Mickey D's. And I'm like, God, every time we go to a Mickey D's, I mean, everybody ends up sick, right? And I'm not saying that's because of Mickey D's. It's just, it's either a real coincidence. It's usually when we play in the playground when they pick up some disease out there or something like that. So I say, okay, against our better judgment. And I also know that like, you know, sometimes Astor doesn't want to cook food 24 hours a day or I don't want to cook food, whatever. I cook food. No, yeah, you don't cook. No, I microwave. That's what I do. But I can, but I will, and I have. So I go through the drive-through, like all these

memories come flooding back. You know, I'm telling the kids, I used to work here, yada, yada, yada. And then when we pull up to the window to pick up our food, we're like sitting there for a long time and there's a young, suburban girl working the drive-through, kind of clueless, right? And you can just tell, this is like, she's a Brian. Her dad made her go get a job or she's working on her own volition or whatever to make a little bit of extra cash. Here she is, you know, serving food out the window

just like I was back then. And then I hear that fucking fry machine. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I'm like a Pavlovian dog. Something turns in my head. And I'm like, get those fries, get those fries. You gotta get those fries. The fries are gonna burn. Get those fries, put them in there and shake that salt while they're still hot.

You better do that, right? Not too much salt, just a little bit of salt, not too much. I'm like, all of a sudden, I turn into like a McDonald's employee. I'm not saying that to her, but I'm thinking it to myself. And one of my kids is like, what's that beeping noise? And I go, that's the fry machine. And if they don't pick those fries up,

they're gonna burn and they're gonna throw them away. And that's waste. And you don't wanna waste. And I'm like, now I'm like working at McDonald's again. I swear to God, it was crazy how it happened. It came back because of that fry machine. I would hear that beeping noise in my head at night. When I go to sleep.

You probably got a whiff too of like the smell, and that's definitely associated with memory. Yes, I could smell those French fries in the pool place because they opened a vent to release some of that hot air. They have like this auto vent there and that fry thing comes. And even one of my kids who was waiting on his turn to go in the pool, he was like, daddy, I smell French fries. Yeah, I smell McDonald's. And I was like, that's it. It's right next door. It must be terrible for those people in there to have McDonald's right next door is real temptation if you're so inclined.

So I'm just like, now I'm Pavlovian dog, hearing that beeping noise, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And now I'm remembering that for years, I could not get that sound out of my head. And if I heard it, I would be like, be working the front counter on a Saturday morning, in the 90s, McDonald's is everything. It's in suburbia and everybody and their mother goes to McDonald's on a Saturday in suburbia

to go get their value meal or whatever. Lines out the door, not even kidding, four, five, six cash registers in the front. Oh, it was insane. And this would just go on for hours. It would start at 11 a.m. and it would go on for hours. And there was a breakfast rush at 8 a.m., right? Whatever. And if you heard that noise, the management like beat it into your head. If you didn't have a person specifically working the French fry area, it'd be like, get those fries, don't let them burn.

You know, that's waste, we can't waste, waste is killing us. Food costs is going through the roof. And Larry, if Larry had to take the fries out of the basket, you were in trouble. He would give you a look. He'd be like, come on guys, come on. I'm not working fried damn grill. I'm already making 170 burgers a minute. Now you guys want me to do the french fries too? Let's go. Come on, guys. When that fry beep, go, go, go, go. And it just keep and put another

basket in. Well, what are you born in a barn? What? Who's going to make the french fries for you? What do you think? If there's a robot, you're gonna throw another basket in there? Well, now there is. That's crazy. But I just remember, it was just like this instinct that I had when I was working there, that if I wanted to be the guy who made sure that it got taken care of, I was that guy. I was like a utility player.

You needed Larry's approval. I needed Larry's approval. I needed management approval. Everybody, in some way, shape or form, needs approval. That's how we live as human beings. We want people, whether it's internally, externally, whatever. And I'll tell you what, it's like, it was,

I was a utility player, just like I was in every sport that I had. People would say, yeah, he's scrappy. That was like the word they used. I wasn't talented. I wasn't good. I was scrappy. So I would help.

I would be there. I would help. You know, I, and it was the worker bee. I was the worker bee. And I never minded that. I always thought that was a compliment. I always felt like if I could outwork the other people, or at least if I could be there to help in some way, then I would be useful. And that was my version of showing other people love, and that was the way that I felt accepted, right? It's okay, I'm part of the team, and I'm needed because I'm there when they need me, and the French fries will not burn. Damn it. So, I say all this to say, so I would wrap it back into Christina,

I wonder if Christina hears us in her head at night. I wonder. Yes, I think our voices will be in her head for the rest of her life. We'll ask her in a couple for the rest of her life. We'll ask her in a couple of weeks when she gets here. Oh yeah, I mean, I gotta imagine she's never gonna get my voice out of her head, or at least not for a long time, because God bless America. I mean, if you don't listen to your voice on a microphone all the time, the first time you hear it, it can be rather unnerving, right?

It is, yeah. I still can't really listen to the shows. Yeah, yeah. It's hard. Yeah, it is. It's hard. It's hard because your voice sounds different in your head than it does when you hear it back.

Yeah, you're your own worst critic. Yeah, and it sounds worse. It always does. It just sounds worse. You always think you're so much more slick and sexy than you actually are. You're a stuttering, umming, umming like, you know. If I say the

whole nine yards one more time on this fucking podcast, I swear to God. Or if I say I swear to God, yes. The whole nine yards, I swear to God and like. I cannot stand when I say those things and yet I say them 12 times an episode. 12, at least, at least. Do me a favor, text me every time you hear me say one of those three things and just tell me what a fucking asshole I am so I can start learning. All right, well listen. You can't think about it too much

because then that freaks you out too. It does, yeah, you try. You have to be natural. Well then you could start stumbling around trying to find other words and then you sound stupid. So, I guess, you know, I guess I'll just take it like it is, the whole nine yards and all. It's been 650 episodes.

It's been 650 episodes. The whole nine yards. It's been all of it. I swear to God. Swear to God. All right, like, let's take a break and like, we'll be back. Here, I'm going to Pavlovian dog you, listen heart to tell you to follow us on Instagram, at the commercial break, and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. You've heard these liners enough to know that we are desperate for followers, so help a girl out. While you're at it, maybe shoot us a text at 212-433-3TCB or leave us a voicemail spilling

your guts and asking for advice. You can also check out our website, tcbpodcast.com if you feel like perusing our catalog or if you're just bored. Now let's listen to some sponsors because they keep me paid. Are you into Yellowstone? I am. Are you really? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it good? It is really good. That Tyler Sheridan, he's on quite the kick. Oh my God. Yeah, he's got his hands in everything. Can't argue success. Oh, Land Man. Land Man. I can't wait to watch Land Man.

Yeah, take a little Billy Bob Thornton with a side of Swiss cheese. I swear to God. With a side of John Ham. Oh, hey, yeah. Johnny Ham. Johnny Ham. Demi Moore.

Demi Moore. Yes. Who we have on our list to watch that movie that you watched. I watched Moore. Demi Moore. Yes. Who we have on our list to watch that movie that you watched. I watched it. The sauce, the juice, the substance. The substance. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm excited about The Land Man. I think this should be a good show because Billy Bob Thornton, when applied correctly, it will cure all woes. I mean, if you don't like, got that guy, then you just don't, you're not breathing. He is such a good fucking actor. He really is.

And he plays- Fun to watch. He plays a saucy bad guy, good guy, whatever, like nobody's business. I know. He's like Bruce Willis, badass, all the time, right? Bruce could go different directions, but Billy is just like,

he just plays that one archetypal bad guy, good guy, I'm really introspective, super smart whip. And at 78 years old, the guy is still wearing a bunch of bracelets like me and like, you know, a floppy French hat and a feet up leather jacket. That looks great. Yeah, him and Johnny Depp go to the same fucking stylist.

I swear to God they do. In the South of France. If you're seeing the thing where Billy Bob Thornton is in Canada on like the CBC, which is like the BBC, but in Canada, he's in the CBC and he's with his band, the Billy Bob Thornton. I forgot about that. The Rattlers or whatever the fuck. The Rattlers.

What does Billy Bob Thornton's band sound like? Have you ever heard of Billy? What does it sound like? Yeah. I don't know. I can imagine the sound. Billy Bob Thornton. Rock, maybe a little touch of westernness.

Well, he doesn't really, 3,000 monthly listeners on Spotify, which is just about a thousand more than us. So there we go. Let's see here. Build a bridge to get across it But at the end of the day Okay, all right, that's a thing. It's with Government Mule, actually, that song, and it's most popular of his songs on Spotify. Anyway, okay, so there you go, you get a little flavor for Billy Bob Thornton and the whatevers. So Billy Bob is in this studio doing an interview and then I guess the band is going to play and the presenter, the announcer, the host is asking

him a question about like this latest movie that he has. He says, well, what do you think about doing this movie or that movie? And he goes, did I come in here to talk about my fucking movie? And the guy is like, well, Billy, you're an actor, and I think it would be a disservice to the audience not to ask about, he goes, I told you not to talk about my fucking movie. It's, I told you not to talk about my fucking movie. I'm not an actor here today, I'm here with my band,

and that's what I wanna talk, I mean, he like went at the guy, and the guy was doing his best to like navigate, but Billy is like kind of a no bullshit. You know, he's, he's, he's not at a diddy party. Let's put it that way. This guy's not trying to win favor, curry favor with anybody. No, yeah, no, he's not. He's not at a diddy party. And weird tie in with Billy Bob Thornton and us would be that Colonel Bruce Hampton was in the movie Slingblade. He did a wonderful turn, Colonel Bruce did, in Slingblade where Billy Bob won his Academy Award for playing the Slingblade guy. I can't remember the name of it.

The main guy. Yeah, great movie. So can't wait to watch this and then you know he's got... I think you're gonna like it. Have you watched any of it? Yeah, Landman? You watched Landman? Yeah, yeah. You have? Yeah, there's two out. Maybe three. What channel is it on?

Paramount. Paramount? Paramount Plus. I don't know shit, I don't know Paramount Plus. I'll find a way to watch it. I'll add you. Okay, yeah, please. I wanna watch it.

I can't wait to watch it. So, Sheridan's on a tear right now. And this Yellowstone has been a little bit, there's been some hiccups in the Yellowstone. They, now they've done like multiple branch outs of Yellowstone with some varying degrees of success, I think. But the original Yellowstone, the one that's got Kevin Costner in it, has really taken hold of the entire country. Everyone's talking about Yellowstone. It's been talking about it for a long time. We've talked about it a few times here on the show. Never seen an episode. Don't really know what it's all about.

But okay, it's a show that everybody likes and everybody seems to think is great. That's fantastic. But I think it's just gotten a little too self-important. If I'm only going by the trailers, teasers, and commercials that they put on, it's got a little bit self-important. And let me explain why. The other day I'm watching a television show, on comes a commercial, and it's for Yellowstone's brand new season, right? And I guess this is the last season? Is this- Yeah, yeah. Well, it's the second part of the last season. And I don't know that it was going to be the last season, but they made it the last season because Kevin Costner wouldn't. Yeah, for whatever reason. It was like creative differences, probably had something to do with money.

Well, he wanted to go do his own Western thing and he did. He came out with like that. And he did and it flopped and then it got picked up by Amazon and it became a fucking hit. Okay, I haven't delved into it yet. Bet against Costner is the word. Dances with Wolves, which I know people are gonna call, they're gonna text me and say,

it's the most fucking obnoxiously boring movie ever. No, it's not. It is brilliant and beautiful and so well done. It really is. And I think, while that may not be exactly historically accurate, I don't know what was going on at that time and neither do you.

I think it's done with a bit of sensitivity, at least from a white man's perspective, a bit of sensitivity around what may have a white man's perspective, a bit of sensitivity around, you know, what may have been happening out in the West back then. It is a beautiful fucking movie. And the score is beautiful. I remember seeing that in the theater with my mom. It was a big deal when it came out.

It's such a big deal. And he fought tooth and nail to get that movie made when everyone said, you're fucking crazy. A three and a half hour movie about the Wild West where nothing actually happens, except for this guy just like makes friends with Indians. Are you kidding me? It is so fucking good.

And Bodyguard, same thing. You know, he fought, I think that he fought to have Whitney Houston be in that role or something along those lines. I don't know, but he has all- Right movie. Yeah, Waterworld. Okay, that was a dump of a movie. All right, we can all agree that

Waterworld was not a movie anybody wanted to see. It's not a movie. I've seen it on, occasionally I see it then put on like TNT or something and I'm like, how is this movie even rerunning? Like it should just be buried forever. That movie is terrible. But Kevin Costner has repeatedly had success after success after success by fighting for his creative vision. Now whether or not you agree with that creative vision or think that he's always been, you know, I don't know, had a daft touch with certain things, whatever, okay, we can all disagree about creativity.

But at the end of the day, he is a monster success maker. That is for sure. He's like that fucking James Cameron guy who decides he's gonna build a space rocket to the bottom of the ocean. And everyone says you're a fucking moron. And then he makes a billion dollars! Because he, you know, recreates the Titanic. Like the guy is just... Anyway. So, but I will have to say that it's getting... the hype is getting a little bit ridiculous. Because here is the commercial and I shit you not. I wrote down this is what it had okay ready uh these people you know Yellowstone people talking plot points plot points and nothing can prepare you for what comes next

nothing can prepare me for what comes next. Jeff was telling me that he was like, it's explosive. The next one's gonna be explosive. Explosive, oh Jeff's all, okay Jeff. I think he's on the same trailer or something. Jeff got bought in, it's like swooning music at a religious ceremony. Jeff got bought in, damn it Jeff.

He was laughing about it too. What comes next? It's explosive, says Jeff from Info. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. I mean, I've seen commercial movie trailers in the 80s that did a better job of hyping up. That is the most crazy shit I've ever heard. And I know that people are eating it.

They're like, ah, what comes next? I can't wait, I know. Yeah, they're jumping off buildings. Ah, nothing can prepare me. Ah. Nothing can prepare you? There's war going on out there. Democracy sliding away.

Elon Musk is losing his mind. The whole world is going fucking bad shit, and nothing can prepare us for what comes next. Really? Honestly? It was pretty explosive. Okay. I didn't see it.

Listen, you can't prepare for explosive diuretics. You can certainly prepare for a television show, no matter what happens. It's okay. You'll be prepared. Yes, you'll be prepared. It's not coming out of the TV. You're not going over to Oklahoma and fall off an oil well or whatever the fuck is going on in Yellowstone.

It's not gonna happen. Everything's okay. You can prepare yourself. Make some popcorn, sit the fuck down, get a blanket, watch the show, have some fun. Let's stop being so goddamn dramatic about everything. Even my kids were like, what's that? And I'm like, don't, don't, stop. You're buying into it. It's like a soap opera. I swear to God. It is. But meanwhile, you're going to watch it and be totally addicted. Well, listen, that is a different story altogether. Okay, maybe I will be addicted. And then you're not going to be prepared for what happens the next time. Well, listen, if I- You think you're not gonna be prepared for what happens the next time. You think you're prepared. I think I'm prepared.

You think you're prepared. But are you? Really? Check yourself. Because nothing can prepare you for what comes next! Characters die, explosions happen, the, there you go. Spoiler alert. Well, I think it's widely known. Oh, it's why. Well, I mean, of course. Because he left the show. Yeah, they got to write them out somehow. That's the ultimate fuck you noise.

Do you know what I'm saying to a character? It's like when they just murder you up. Hey, so Bob, you know, thanks for your 10 year run on Friends, but you're dead. I know. I was just reading an article. I was just reading an article. I was just reading an article. I was just reading an article.

I was just reading an article. I was just reading an article. I was just reading an article. I was just reading an article. I was just reading an article. I was just reading an article. I was just reading an article. to a character? It's like when they just murder you off, hey, so Bob, you know, thanks for your 10 year run on Friends, but you're dead. Oh!

I know, I was just reading an article too about the whole thing that Taylor shared and kind of did do a little fuck you to him in the way in which he dies. Oh, really? So you'll have to watch to see, but nothing can prepare you for it, really. What, does he get dildoed to death,

he gets pegged to death by his wife or something? What's going on? Ha ha ha ha going on? Ah! What's the name of this character in the show? John Dutton. John Dutton dies listening to the commercial break retrospective on Odyssey app. That really would be effective.

Oh, that would. Is Yellowstone set in the current times? Yes. Okay. Montana. Montana. Beautiful country out there. Dave Letterman owns like half of Montana, I think. Between Dave Letterman and Ted Turner. The other thing, there's a Ted Turner retrospective on CNN, 8MAX, whatever it is. And it's amazing.

You should watch this. Jeff and I were blown away. We were like, holy shit, I forgot that he did all of that stuff. All of it. The Braves, Ted Turner. So much stuff. Starting cable channels, Pioneer there, Pioneer here, this, that, the other, doing like meeting with Fidel Castro, doing all of this stuff.

He was insanely, he was a wild west land man. He went out there and he claimed his stake and he did it through cable television and the Braves and he did it all from here in Atlanta, CNN. He had all of those ideas and he fought to get it done. So again, we can all argue about Ted Turner's, you know, Picadillas, but at the end of the day, the reason why you have fucking Netflix streaming

in your home right now is Ted Turner. It really is. I mean, he was such a pioneer. He demanded that it gets to every front door and he figured out a way to make it happen and get it subsidized. I mean, he just did so many things. The guy was brilliant.

He was a navigator. He was one of the people who just pulls the strings in this world. And we all know who they are, and you can do it for good and you can do it for bad. You do have to say something about Ted Turner. He built Atlanta, number one. There's no Olympics.

There's no CNN. There's no industry. Yeah, that was the other thing. He did the games. He did the games. What was the name of the game? The Turner, oh, the World, the World something. The Goodwill Games.

Goodwill Games, that's right. The Goodwill Games, yeah, which was a thing for a while. It wasn't the Olympics, but it was something, you know, it was like our- Well, he wanted to build goodwill, peace throughout the world. And I mean, you gotta watch it, I highly recommend it. It's very fascinating.

Ted Turner says that he could ride a horse from Canada to Mexico without ever leaving his land. That's what he says, and I tend to believe it because he started gobbling up huge swaths of land when he started making money. He did, yeah. And that's what he claims. Did you know that like, you can like, I don't know, if you want to like bring your cattle from one pasture to the other, you got to rent, you know, you got to- The Ted Turner trail?

The Ted Turner trail. You got to pay the guy to bring your cows over to the next pasture. It's insane. Oh, yeah, you'll learn about that on Yellowstone. Oh, I can't, I can't wait to get invited to Dave Letterman's house. What? Dave Letterman. Let's talk about Dave for a second, because Dave's next door to Ted. I want to, I can't wait to get invited to Dave Letterman's house. Oh, yeah, it's going to happen. That's like my dream. I don't care if I'm rich and famous. Well, I kind of care if I'm rich. Not so much famous. But what I would like is like, if we're going to do like one

thing, I was thinking about this, if I'm going to do like one thing retrospective wise, right? Where they go, oh, you know, podcast pioneers and mediocre comedy. On Janu's of the podcast universe, Brian and Chrissy, the Wild West of the, it really was for a while, but it still is. But if they're gonna do like one thing, if you could pick it like 60 minutes, CNN retrospective, Fox News, Brett Baier interview, I don't know, Tucker Carlson, Joe Rogan for four hours, if you could do one thing, I'd wanna do that

Dave Letterman Netflix shit that he does. I like that show. I think that's really cool. My next guest needs no introduction, I think is what it's called. I think the same with you, yeah. So he did that one with Miley Cyrus. We talked about this. That was really cool. Now all of them are great.

Yeah. And I think some people get invited to Dave's house. And Dave says, he's like, you come out to my house, I invite people, but when they get there, they're like, hey, can you get tennis? And he's like, tennis? I don't have tennis. Do you have a pool? Not really. What can we do? I don't know, go look at the pasture, I guess. That must be what Dave likes. Dave, Johnny Carson, a lot of these guys who did this, I don't know, late night does something weird to you. It's like you never want to talk to anybody ever again after you get done. They have to have a retrospective on Johnny Carson also, which I would like to watch too. Now, he was like a real split personality. Apparently, he was a bad alcoholic and when he got alky, like when he started drinking, he would get really nasty to his wives.

And probably why he had so many. Yeah, probably why he had so many. And then he just kind of walked off into the sunset when Johnny Carson, I think, did he die of Parkinson's or something like that? I feel like I want to say or emphysema, emphysema. That's what it was. Parkinson's emphysema. It's not the same thing.

He died of emphysema because he, I think he was, I think he was a pretty big smoker like everybody was back in those days. But Johnny Carson handed it off to Jay Leno and then just walked off into the sunset, never to be heard from again. It was really strange. And so I'm glad that Dave is still in touch with us in some way, shape or form. But I would like to go to Dave's house and just spend a weekend with Dave. So Dave, if you're listening, I know I'm like Not ever gonna be on your radar But if for some reason this gets back to you somebody you know is listening to the show and you can pass this along To Dave, I would kindly take an invite to your house. I'll bring my own toilet paper

Just so you don't have to use any I'll bring my own food and I won't bring my children or my dog. So, as a matter of fact, if you just want to invite me, I'll be happy to come over. I'll make your bed for you, Dave. That's what I'll do. I'll make your bed for you. That's sweet. If you invite me to your house for the weekend, your bed will be made both days I stay there.

How's that, Chrissy? Yeah, maybe you could get a job at his house some way. Yeah, you wonder if there are people, there must be people that work there, right? Of course. You don't think Dave's making his own bed, do you? No, of course. I mean, I don't know. What staff?

Yeah, like a chef and a security. You gotta have security, even when you live out there. Houses, gardens, all that. Gardens. He's probably growing wheat out front or something. I don't know, I just imagine Dave to be the kind of guy who's like, I don't want flowers, I want wheat. Give me wheat.

Wheat? I thought you said weed. No. But I, in the Miley Cyrus interview, if I'm not mistaken, he talks about smoking weed with Miley. Or no, maybe it's Miley talking about smoking with her mom. Whatever. Anyway, I don't get it wrong because I love Dave and I don't want to ever piss him off. No. But he's not without controversy either. I think the point is we all make mistakes.

Yeah. That's the moral of the story. We're human for a little while longer. For a little while longer. Sometimes I didn't get to the fry machine on time. Johnny Carson wasn't a perfect person. Kevin Costner's always not been historically sensitive. And Dave Letterman

shouldn't have interns. I guess that's the moral of the story. There you go. It doesn't make his own bed. All right, okay. All episodes from here on forth it shall be known on youtube.com slash the commercial break. Don't go to no man's video land, come here. It's youtube.com slash the commercial break, or you can go to tcbpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video, right there from one location. You can also get your free TCB bumper sticker while supplies last.

While supplies last. Running low? On a few of them, yes. We have like all the stickers and you know sometimes people ask for old ones. I gave you my extras, right? You did give me the extras from Mempho, which is one we didn't give away actually. So if you want a Mempho TCB sticker, we have them available. Write and ask kindly, and maybe Astrid or whoever does it will send one to you, but be nice about it. Don't be like, I want seven stickers,

sign one for my husband, do two of this, can you kiss me? You know, it's like, some people get a little silly about the requests, and it's like, honestly, pay for your, can you overnight it? Sure, why not? If you want a Mempho sticker let us know and maybe we'll send them all to you. It was the one we gave away at Mempho. Yeah, we gave it. It's got a guitar.

It's a guitar pick. Yes, we gave a lot of them away. I can almost guarantee none of them sit anywhere on anybody's shelf. On their refrigerator, nada. I promise you. You never know. shelf on their refrigerator nada I promise you one person only one person at mempo knew who the commercial break was and that was Jeff TCB podcast on tick tock the commercial break at the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on tick tock 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 TCB 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 8 2 2 questions comments concerns content ideas us, we'd love

to talk to you. Uh, okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for right now. I think so. I'll tell you though, I love you. And I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I do say, we will say, and we must say, goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye! I have no family to celebrate Christmas with this year. The commercial break is live the entire holiday season to make you even more miserable than you currently are. So put your Christmas pajamas on, gather around the Christmas tree and listen to brand new episodes of the commercial break.