The Commercial Break - Please Don't Litter!

Starting point is 00:00:00 It's 6.05 on the WFUQU Clock here in the FUQU Studios. Let's take a look at the FUQU traffic. Just a bit of a slowdown today in front of Crab Apple Middle School. As the school security crossing guard has been caught huffing gold paint behind the dumpster. Again, just a couple extra minutes under your morning commute, nothing too much to talk about. Let's go to the FUQ you email grab bag as we like to do every time this morning and see what kind of advice Uncle Pat has for the listeners. Uncle Pat of course the station elder Ben there done that got the t-shirt. God I love that saying every time I say it. Terry from

Starting point is 00:00:41 South Krab Apple says, my son Joey just came out as gay a week and a half ago. His birthdays on Tuesday and me and his father wanted to do something extra special for him, like get him a gay birthday cake or possibly some gay balloons. Uncle Pat, how would you handle it? I think you got to remember from the Bible, you look carefully at the Bible. What would have happened in Jesus' time

Starting point is 00:01:01 if two men decided they wanted to cohabit together, they would have been stoned to death. So Jesus would not have baked them a wedding cake nor would he have made them a bed to sleep in because they wouldn't have been there. But we don't have that in this country here, so that's the way it is. Well, I'm not sure that's the advice that I would have given, but I haven't lived as long as Uncle Pat Hasse and Uncle Pat wanted to let the listeners know his brand new the way it is. draw, beepie poopoo in his own pants, and generally be miserable. Let's all a bunkal fat dies real soon. We'll be back after this commercial break. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

Starting point is 00:01:57 On this episode of the commercial break. And when you don't get a good night fucking sleep ever, because your fucking rat tail dog won't shut the fuck up My children they must think I have a split personality because I will I nuinka Nuka in Spanish means never I almost never yell at my children You're very good at human asteroid Yes, I'm the picture of equanimity because I want my children to understand that is not the appropriate way to communicate with other humans However, what they may not understand is that dog is not human. It's a devil. It's a straight-up. It's from the pits of

Starting point is 00:02:34 Hades itself in one of the unisex bathrooms a litter box I'm not a cat Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Threatskept is in our Hey kid come here. You want to pee like a cat? We still has the flower pots outside their window. It's very it's very new Voreesh Frankie Old telephone booth there. I think in the back. Oh, yeah, I see that You know what you don't see is you don't see the neighbors like are we told you not to film here Frankie? You don't live here just one minute just one minute. I'm just trying to be getting I'm trying to smash that YouTube subscribe button I'm gonna be a YouTube influencer

Starting point is 00:03:34 You're gonna be arrested The next episode of the commercial break starts now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no only commercial break you'll ever need. Remember, when you're leaving your reviews, make sure you're leaving them on the commercial break. And, well, I don't even know why I'm talking to the other people because they can't hear me. No, there was no TV. The commercial break. The commercial break. The commercial break. The commercial break. That's right. But thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming. It actually has factual news They do it. Yeah, they actually know what they're talking about over there. Do you know number 21 on Apple podcast in-prob comedy charts today We are in the we are in rare Right now now for those of you that don't know about the podcast universe

Starting point is 00:04:42 Those of you that don't watch the charts everyday't on the verge of divorce because of a podcast The yeah, don't watch the podcast charts every minute of every day The Apple podcast charts, you know, Apple has a lion's share of the podcast market and I had for a long time That's kind of where it started hence the name podcast and The Apple podcast charts when you get on them, they're a big deal. But when you get in the top 50, it's a really big deal.

Starting point is 00:05:09 And when you smack the top 25 of the comedy charts, which is an incredibly crowded space with many, many talented podcasters, it's a big deal. You wonder what kind of glitch happened. Yeah, you wonder. You wonder what your friends is putting a joke on you. Yeah, that's right. one your friends is Broken yeah, who and Apple is fired So thank you out there in the podcast universe and our listeners for making that happen because Apple reviews and Apple listens are a big part of that

Starting point is 00:05:43 So if you're listening on Apple know know that you're playing into it. Chrissy and I were just talking about the inevitability of age. Time waits for no man nor woman. Oh, that's right. Or dog nor turtle. It all, we all are going to face the same fate. We're all getting old. Our boobs are sagging.

Starting point is 00:06:02 Mine are the yours. You can't get a brain lift. No, you can't wish you could get a brain lift. No, you can't. I wish you could get a brain lift. I know as much surgery as you can do on the outside. You can't do it on the inside. Vaginoplasty is technically surgery on the inside. Well, and that's one of the inside outside.

Starting point is 00:06:16 What's called Dr. Sin on that? Dr. Sin. Yes, I just was telling us all about the vulva. The vagina. She enlightened us. The lips and the clitoris. Yeah, I feel like it was a, I feel like I never took that class ever. I was just like, wait a second.

Starting point is 00:06:31 You mean that was what? Poor Astrid. Astrid's doing wordle while we're having sex. Speaking of wordle. Speaking of wordle. Ryan just speaking of facts. I was trying to just told me the word old, you know, how hard it is for you to find a six letter word.

Starting point is 00:06:49 And I'm like, it's not six letters, it's five. Well, it's five. It's five. Here's the thing. I started word a couple of weeks ago on the beach. Like everybody. Like everybody in the well, you know, anybody that's interested in that kind of shit.

Starting point is 00:07:01 Yeah. Wordal is basically, I don't want to explain the whole game. Go to wordal.com, you can figure it out yourself. But know this, you have to punch in, you have to, on your own, you have to think of, and then punch in, a bunch of words, gives you six tries, I mean that's where you got the six from. And maybe that is where I got the six from.

Starting point is 00:07:17 And so it's always been, you have, this is a five letter word game. Now, two weeks ago, I tried the seven days in a row. You can only do one a day, and it's different every single day. I tried the seven days in a row, and seven days in a row, I got it, I won. I've got it every day. I did it, you got it every day?

Starting point is 00:07:33 Really? Okay, so yesterday, I could not for the life of me figure out what the word of the day was, because I kept thinking of six letter words. We're, and I kept trying to type them in there. I was like, didn't you see that when you got to the end of one letter was left off? No.

Starting point is 00:07:50 No. No. No. This is what age does to you. It fucks with you. It's almost as if the space in my head is running out. Well, that's true. I mean, we're on the word so much overload, information

Starting point is 00:08:03 overload coming at us from all angles. And when you don't get a good night fucking sleep ever, because you're fucking rat tail dog, won't shut the fuck up. My children, they must think I have a foot personality because I will, I nunca, nunca in Spanish means never. I almost never yell at my children. You're very good at it.

Starting point is 00:08:24 You're an asteroid, right? Of course. I'm the picture of equanimity because yell at my children. You're very good. I am the asteroid. Yes. I'm the picture of equanimity because I want my children to understand that is not the appropriate way to communicate with other humans. However, what they may not understand is that dog is not human.

Starting point is 00:08:35 It's a devil. It's a straight-up. It's from the pits of Hades itself. This dog is possessed. It has mental issues. And so, and she's now getting ever increasingly large. She weighs like 38, when they told us I was gonna get it. I thought she was plump.

Starting point is 00:08:53 Plump. That dog was more around than it is right. Yesterday. Well, I don't feed her. I mean, I don't feed her people food. I give her treats, right? But what I guess I failed to understand for a while there was, you know, that she's stealing the kids' food.

Starting point is 00:09:07 Maybe she's stealing the kid food. There may be 16 treats per day. It's not good for a toy, yorky. I went to the grooming place the other day and I had two toy yorkies in there. They were grooming. The cutest little fucking thing so well behaved, just look like little plush animals.

Starting point is 00:09:22 And I was like, what happened to you? What did you, what already you go wrong? You were the run to the litter. I got you because I thought you were gonna be the smallest of small. Not true, she's 26 fucking pounds or whatever she is. She's bigger than my daughter. And then she's got these nails.

Starting point is 00:09:38 Oh yeah. And I just got them clipped. But we had area rugs around the house, HODLY, and she decided to use them as her personal litter fucking box 24 hours. Her small body. Damn dog. Rude is every thing.

Starting point is 00:09:52 Pee rugs. This is why we can't take her anywhere. Yeah, Pee Pee rugs. Pee Pee poo poo. Pee Pee poo poo. On that $1,000 rug you have under your bed. So we take all the rugs up because the house is starting to smell like shit and piss, and we take all the rugs up. And we're like to smell like shit and piss and we take all the rugs up and we're like,

Starting point is 00:10:06 okay, we just live without it. You know, some day the dog won't be here and we'll get there in your rugs again. I can't. Yes. So we take these rugs up and then now we have this additional problem, especially at night, which is, she likes to sleep on this bench that's at the end of the bed, but she's too fat to get

Starting point is 00:10:27 up on the fucking bench. That's only a foot high off the ground. I mean, it really is. And because of the sliding around, because of the nails, I think she's afraid to jump, like her feet fall from under her. And so God forbid. She probably not made it a couple times and gone face first. I've seen her done it.

Starting point is 00:10:43 Yeah, she's done all kind of, it's a me, it's funny. It's her. It's probably painful. It's a me, I'm like that. She's learned. I can do it. Yeah, get you back. She is, these nails are sliding across the floor

Starting point is 00:10:54 all night long, holy God forbid, she gets down for some reason off that thing. I put her up there at the beginning of the night. God forbid, she gets down. Cause. Tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt, tt,t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t This long crew is the worst ever. They're worse than the dog. It's like anytime my child is sleeping or we're recording, the long crew shows up. Just like the vacuum.

Starting point is 00:11:29 It's like the vacuum and the long crew are attracted to the TCB recording. So anyway, so this dog, just her little feet on the fucking floor are driving me insane. Ah, I'm sorry. Well, I've got a different set of problems with the flooring. Oh yeah? Is the people above us at our

Starting point is 00:11:46 complex They're the hard walkers Hard walkers, I mean I'm like, what are you doing? Are you? Is there a new exercise trend? I don't know Boom boom boom Mark's March to the oldies. I mean, I'm like you don't girl girl. Don't be stomp and around boom boom boom they're doing chaser smart smart to the oldies I mean I'm like you don't girl girl don't be stomp and

Starting point is 00:12:09 right there oh man we even had to write them a note did you really? yeah yeah I mean I have to write a note and say look you know maybe these it's not insulated very well or something

Starting point is 00:12:19 yeah because these are different neighbors and we've had other ones in the past and when I was family up there with a three-year-old. I mean, it was constant Yeah, so we wrote a nice note wrote our phone number down even had a communication with them and they said okay Yeah, probably our dog. We've got a puppy a big large dog puppy Anyways, it never it hasn't stopped But I have to just laugh and just be like, girls, I don't, yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:48 A dog? Good girl. You need to go on a diet. Oh my god. And meanwhile, they're tiny girls. They're like tiny, you know, young 20s girls. So I don't know. Oh, that's the best to have above you.

Starting point is 00:12:59 They're the. That's Uncle Brian. That's Uncle Brian. That's Uncle Brian. Yeah. I always had the younger, for some reason, in my apartment complex, when I lived downtown, I had a string of six, incredibly awesome neighbors, but every single one of them was a single 20-something girl, every single one of them.

Starting point is 00:13:18 I lived there for six years, every year I had a new one. I'm still friends with most of them today. That's true. So easy, easy pickings. And the reality is that some people do walk hard. They do, and they walk on their heels. I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so happy that I know I'm so How long card all you want? How long card. Hey, shut up up there. Hey, shut up over there. I walk hard and Astrid told me, this is just like new information a month ago.

Starting point is 00:13:52 So we're, we, Astrid and I get a chance we run to Charleston for the weekend, like kind of like a romantic date. And Astrid gives this question kind of out of the blue that I did not really expect. And the question was Hey, Brian, what about you bothers me? And what about me bothers you, right? I want she wanted to know she's like there must after five years of being with each other Five years a marriage six years together. There must be something about me that bothers you

Starting point is 00:14:22 And I said no nothing bothers me except for the lawnmower outside the window while we're trying to record a fucking podcast. Does no one understand how they get paid around here? So no where the money comes from. I'm gonna tell these guys. This is the fifth time I'll have to talk to these guys. And they just look at me and they're like, yes sir, that's no problem. I'm like, guys, between 9 and 11 a.m.

Starting point is 00:14:43 between 4 and 6 p.m. That's when you can come please because we have babies that are sleeping. We're recording stuff in here, you know, and the guy just looks at me and he's like, no problem boss. You know what people go say? They say no problem boss. You know what that means? Fuck you.

Starting point is 00:14:56 It's like when you leave a note for the neighbor about stomping on the thing. They're like, no problem. No problem. No problem boss. We'll take care of it. I got you covered. Don't you worry. I got you covered. Don't you worry. I got you.

Starting point is 00:15:06 Or people click it. You that click that fucking click. I want to smack that click right out of your face. They do a wink with it too. Yeah, they do a wink. No problem, boss. I got you covered, brother. Don't you worry about one minute.

Starting point is 00:15:16 I'm gonna tell the boys here. Aren't you the boys? No, I'm not the boys, but the boys, you know, the boys, they're just trying to get their work done. But we totally understand where you're coming from. and we'll make sure to adhere to your schedule. Five fucking weeks in a row, they come. Every time except for the time I told them not to come, every time. My daughter's asleep or recording the podcast right in there.

Starting point is 00:15:36 It's fucking assholes, I swear to God. I mean, listen, I'm not saying it's easy to be a landscaper, and it's not in it's hard to be a podcaster. That's not true, it's the exact opposite, right? I'm not out there in the cold, dealing with fucking bumblebees and black jackets and poise and ivy and fucking shit from blue and Nico for the last seven years. I'm not out there doing that.

Starting point is 00:15:54 So I give them credit for that. However, it's a simple request. It really is. It's a simple request, and that request is because what they may not understand is how they get paid is- Well, I was gonna say you're the client. Yeah, that's it. I mean, listen, what are we gonna, we're all gonna bend over, are you sure? request is because what they may not understand is how they get paid

Starting point is 00:16:11 What I mean listen what are we gonna bend over each other and fuck each other for 15 seconds I don't know I can hear him right see him right now I see even though it's outside the studio. I can see this guy right now. No problem Fuck you. Hey, what time is it what time that guy tells come? He said don't come between 11 and 4 p.m, what time is it? What time that guy tells us come? He said, don't come between 11 and 4 p.m. What time is it? 1.15? Let's go. That's it.

Starting point is 00:16:31 That's our time to get that asshole's house. Let's get that asshole. It's asshole getting time. We're gonna go fuck this guy right directly in the poop and chute. I'm not kidding. And now I get here my babies away. This is just lovely. I hate these guys. Anyway, some people a proven chute. And now I can hear my babies away. This is just lovely.

Starting point is 00:16:45 I hate these guys. Anyway, some people walk hard. Yes. It's just the way that they're going. So Astrid, Astrid. Astrid, Astrid. So we ask each other. And I said, well, I don't really,

Starting point is 00:16:55 and I honestly don't, I think I've learned in my old age that there's some hills you want to die on and there's some hills you don't want to die on. And I've learned to be super pragmatic around my thinking about small shit, like the toothbrush left here or the shoes left there or. Yeah, let it go.

Starting point is 00:17:12 Let it go. Let it go. Like that girl in that movie said, let it go. No, I was thinking of an appointment, I saw one time, and she was like, let it go, Bobby. I'm gonna let it go.'m going to do your lawn. Can you come back after four? No problem, ma'am. No problem, boss. I got you covered. I hate that shit. So, she and I said, but you could tell that this question was a leading question. She really wanted to let me know. And I knew I was not so good.

Starting point is 00:17:46 That was a good way. Let's play a game. Tit for tat. That's a little bit every therapist that I use a great game to play when you're relationship. So I said, but let me think about that for a second. But what about you bothers me? And she had a couple of things teed up right away.

Starting point is 00:18:01 And one of them was she goes, you know, you know what, this is so stupid. But when you're working in the studio at night, you know, I just always get nervous. You're going to wake up the kids because you're so loud. And I'm like, I'm loud in the studio. Like, you know, I know they do these bits and stuff, but it's pretty well insulated in here. She goes, no, it's because of your walking. Yeah. And I'm like, my walking. She says, you walk hard, walk hard. You walk on your heels. She goes I can

Starting point is 00:18:25 Heel down boom boom boom boom boom boom. I can hear you coming all the way across the house It's inevitable and she goes and it kind of starts to drive me crazy after a little while like Chinese water That's right. I had no idea. Yeah, and then it even made me actually begin to walk in a different way to where I was almost, I almost tipped out now because we have people below us. Yeah. So now I got to where my feet one day, I was like, why are my feet kind of hurting?

Starting point is 00:18:54 And then I thought, it's because I'm walking on my toes. My tiptoes, that's right. I tried the same thing at the house. I tried to be quiet for my neighbors down below. So whatever it's. I tried for a couple of days and then I was like, you know, I'm gonna be a heat walker.

Starting point is 00:19:08 That's just what I'm gonna do. We're gonna, if that's the worst thing. Because the worst thing our marriage has to endure is my feel walking, we're okay. And after a night, we don't fight. We had a conversation with another couple who when they said this, I believe them, Rafael and Chelsea, they said,

Starting point is 00:19:23 can count on both hands, how many arguments they've had, where it escalated to yelling, right? And I believe them, Raphael and Chelsea. They said, can count on both hands, how many arguments they've had, where it escalated to yelling, right? And I believe that about them. I believe that, and they've been married for almost 20 years. Oh yeah. So I believe that in Astrid and Mad. I'm very happily still in love.

Starting point is 00:19:36 Yeah, Astrid and I are of the same ilk, probably on three fingers I can count, how many times we've yelled at, where the argument sticks in my head like oh That was a bad one for us which was someone raised their voice for half a second and then the other person backed off right and so I figured Astrid probably has a laundry list of shit. She hates about me because I see how she looks at me sometimes like you fucking moron Including this podcast which she is the hundred it's a photo She is so supportive.

Starting point is 00:20:05 And so helpful with everything, the website, the marketing, the studio, the ideas, she eggs me on at every turn, she eggs me on, but then it is the bane of her existence. Right, half the time she's like, what are you gonna come to bed? I gotta edit this fucking podcast now, you started this. She was the one who told me to get on here

Starting point is 00:20:24 and do the podcast, she is deploying edit this fucking podcast now. You started this. She was the one who told me to get on here and do the podcast. She is the one for this fucking, get me careful, which one we're asking. So anyway, listen, I know that I know I'm not perfect and walking hard is one of my things, but I'm still looking, I still just wanted to let the audience know, in all sincerity, from the bottom of our hearts,

Starting point is 00:20:44 if you need a Yorkie, that's a little bit bigger than a toy Yorkie by like 15 pounds. Please, uh, 661, 661 best to blue, that's 661 best, the number two blue, which is a, which is a four-legged word. Can't go in word, oh. I can't go in word, oh no. Shitty is a five-footed, shitty? That's a six-letter word, it's a six-letter word. But if you need a dog, you'll- Oh, it's H-H-I-T-Y, that's a five-footed. No, S-H-I-T-T-Y, I think is how shitty it is spelled.

Starting point is 00:21:19 Yeah, they think there's two T's and Y, because there's a Y and then there's a T. I don't know, I know some grammar, but not much. Anyway, listen, I wanted to get, we actually have to a podcast now that the the galon guys have done their damage and gone away Works thing is the fucking lawn won't even be clean when they're done. It's like I Wanted to get some news There is a story that came out of I think this is Michigan Just last week.

Starting point is 00:21:45 I think it's important that the rest of the country hears this and understands exactly what's going on in our schools. So I'm gonna present to you a lady who is going to jump up in the middle of a school board meeting. The reason why I like- The reason why I like school board meetings is because they're the picture of our democracy.

Starting point is 00:22:02 They're just, everyone's calm and they listen to each other and everything's rational these days. If you want to know where the real sensible people are, go to a school. Partisan by partisanness working together. Working together. I'll go in across the aisle. This lady has a concern and I'd like you to hear it. Hi Lisa, welcome. Hi Mary Christmas. See, so far everybody's being super polite with each other, don't you think? Yeah, it seems cordial. Okay, hold on one second. I'm going to Hi Lisa. Welcome. Hi Mary Christmas. Is he ever so far everybody's being super polite with you? So they're don't you think? Yeah, it seems cordial. Okay. Oh hold on one second. I'm gonna read. Hi Lisa. Welcome. Hi Mary Christmas. Merry Christmas to you. Um, I have a speech prepared to read regarding the test to stay program and uh-oh.

Starting point is 00:22:39 Well, Lisa's got a speech prepared. You know, it's a lot to go down. The test. Speech, speech, speech, speech. Lisa, Lisa, champion of all things good. The test us day, what she's referring to there, which we'll get back to a little bit in the conversation. The test us day is what it sounds like. It's a kid's getting tested for COVID before they return to the classroom for in person. Okay, seems reasonable.

Starting point is 00:23:04 Seems, hey like my kid. What's wrong with the test? I don't know. We just stick to him. She had a I do it all the time. It's just the way we live right. It's where the society that we live in today. How unconstitutional it is, but I need to address something else. Not just to you as the board, but to parents and grandparents and taxpayers in our community. Think God we have someone and taxpayers in our community.

Starting point is 00:23:28 Think God, we have someone like Lisa on our team. I witness news seven, Lisa, our consumer reporter will be talking about the test this day. It's unconstitutional. She like your grandparents, your parents, your parents, your parents. It's unconstitutional, but I'm not even gonna talk about that. I don't wanna talk about that. I'm gonna reserve that.

Starting point is 00:23:42 I'm gonna reserve that. I'm gonna let that go for now. By the way, there is a clock going. She has three minutes to talk. So good news that we won't have to endure her for long. Still wrapping my brain around this a little bit. But yesterday I heard something. And I was stunned.

Starting point is 00:24:02 And today I am equally stunned and a little bit upset, well, not a little bit, a lot of it upset. She heard in San John Posse for the first time. Right, or slip now. Yes, slip now, or something. She's a lot of it upset. A lot of it. It grew on her.

Starting point is 00:24:15 She was upset yesterday, but today she's really upset. Oh, Lisa, I'm waiting on Bated Brut to hear what you have to say. It's going to be super intelligent, I can tell. Here, yes, I would even use that word. but I want to talk to about she's shaking. And it sounds like she's shaking. She's shaking. She's mad about this.

Starting point is 00:24:31 She's mad and nervous. Wait until you hear what Lisa is upset about. Wait until you hear what Lisa has something to do with testing. That's nothing to do with testing. Just going to give you that. And I know this is going on nationwide. So it is not just for your, for this board, but our community. This is an epidemic. She wants you to know this is going on nationwide, so it is not just for your, for this board, but our community. This is an epidemic. She wants you to know this is going on nationwide.

Starting point is 00:24:49 She knows that she's done an investigation. We need to understand that the agenda that is being pushed through our schools is just my opinion, but just her opinion, but she needs everybody to know. She's done an investigation, but it's just her opinion, but she needs everybody to know. Yeah, she's done an investigation, but it's just her opinion. Somewhat nefarious when it comes to some of the, um, various activities. So let's talk about furry furries. Nefarious furries? Whoa, this is just the best thing I've ever heard.

Starting point is 00:25:22 This is why I had to play this. Nefarious furries. It's an epidemic nationwide. She's mad. She's more mad today than she was yesterday. I just wanted to let you know. A lot of it. A lot of it.

Starting point is 00:25:34 It was addressed by a child a couple months ago that they are put in an environment where there are kids that identify as a furry, a cat or a dog, whatever. That's not what a furry is, by the way. They don't identify as a cat or a dog. They dress up, a cat or a dog, whatever. And that's not what a furry is, by the way. They don't identify as a cat or a dog. They dress up like a cat or a dog. Or typically comic book characters. Lisa, you've got to get your investigation straight

Starting point is 00:25:53 here before you take it to the mainstream media. So yesterday I heard that at least one of our schools in our town has a, in one of the Unisex bathrooms, a litter box. Pah! Pah! Pah! Pah! Pah! Pah! I'm not a cat! the Unisex bathrooms a litter box. Pfft. Ha stuff. Fresh stuff. Fresh stuff is in our school.

Starting point is 00:26:25 I'm bored in my first. Hey kid, come here. You want to pee like a cat. I got fresh lily in the unit six bathroom. I don't care what you guys did. Try it. Give me a taste. Just a little taste to Tina.

Starting point is 00:26:40 Just a little Tina. First box is free. Once you you go cat you never go back Hey, I've got you have a feed sitting down on kitty litter. Mm. There's nothing like sand directly on your man scrotum You might have to get a white bee and wipe that's that little off your balls boy, but I'm telling you what you'll never go back This is what all the kids are doing Kitty litter a cat litter box in the bathroom Lisa you have been played by a tick-kiss No, there are not litter boxes in the unisex bathroom nationwide

Starting point is 00:27:19 Don't you think this would be on the front cover of every newspaper ever? You're such a moron Lisa. For the kids that identify as cats. And I know the picture, you know how everybody is the pronouns. Now she heard. She heard them. Yeah, they would be cat. Cat.

Starting point is 00:27:39 Feline. Feline cat. Feline. I identify as feline. Really disturbed by that. And I will do some more investigation on that. I know what's going on nationwide. I know it is. It's part of the agenda that's being pushed out of the agenda. agenda. Like who? Who's pushing an agenda to have your children pee in a litter box?

Starting point is 00:28:03 And by the way, they pee in a urinal. I mean, is a litter box any different really? Have you ever been to a public school bathroom? It's fucking. Those kids don't know how to control their body. I mean, they probably put the cat box in there just to keep the spray off the floor. Yeah, they've never had a child. And now Matthias likes to use my bathroom now. I'm telling you, I have to do a whole disinfecting routine before I go in there. Not that I think my kids pee is weird or anything, but I can't take the poop.

Starting point is 00:28:31 The poop forget about it. I'm out on the poop one. But the pee, I can deal with it, right? But I swear to God, he's just plays with his spray. He just plays with the spray. I just pee. What else are you gonna do? Man, yeah, please say,

Starting point is 00:28:42 you got better things to do with your time. I know you do. You're a mother of children. This is the worst thing you're concerned about is a litter box. Let the kids have a litter box. Who fucking cares are playing make-believe? They play in a sandbox.

Starting point is 00:28:54 It's just the same. You don't think the raccoons are in there being all day long? Or kids. Or kids. Yeah. We've been to a public pool, Lisa. We've been to whitewater, Lisa. It should be called yellow water, Lisa.

Starting point is 00:29:04 Whitewater. Yeah. Fucking that's good. We're sure. Lisa, have you ever been to whitewater, Lisa? That should be called yellow water, Lisa. White water. Fucking that's disgusting. Lisa, stop it. Stop it. You're catastrophizing something that doesn't need to be catastrophized. There are kids. There is a thing, it's not called furbies or furries or whatever you're fur to, where children are identifying as an animal.

Starting point is 00:29:21 You know why they're identifying as an animal? Because it's a safe place for them to go in their heads. And it's fun, it's make believe. And it's okay for the most part, it's okay unless it's absolutely destroying their lives. Let them have their make believe the world is such a serious fucking place because a dumb shit's like you.

Starting point is 00:29:36 Because a dumb shit's like you standing up in front of a school board meeting, wasting precious fucking time when you could be talking about how you make education better, how we pay teachers more, how we get children more educated. And you're standing up there talking about a litter box that never existed in the first place. And even if it did, who fucking cares?

Starting point is 00:29:54 Let the kids play, make believe. Lisa's failing. Lisa, you fail. No, I don't even want to understand it. But I think that people need to be aware of it because I am really upset. That's a problem, Lisa. You don't want to understand it. You don't want to understand it, but I think that people need to be aware of it because I am really upset. That's a problem Lisa, you don't want to understand it. You don't want to understand what's going on

Starting point is 00:30:08 with your children, so you would rather just throw some obnoxious and obsequious bullshit out there and try and get people all riled up and upset. You would rather fight the good social fight, the right, you would rather be a right fighter in front of live TV, then you would to sit down and talk to your children and ask them exactly why they're putting on a Furby costume and pissing in a killer and by the way if you're going to use kitty litter use fresh kitty use hello step hello fresh stuff this commercial break is brought to you and part by hello step hello step hello step hello step Hello, step. Hello, step. That's right.

Starting point is 00:30:44 Are your kids being everywhere? Kids ages K through nine. You can just get a they can the litter box companies could actually make some money on this instead of the That's what I'm saying around the toilet of custom made litter box. That's a good idea. Mm-hmm. Put your squatty potty on top of the bed. The squatty potty litter box. Damn. This squatty potty litter box. Damn, I'm calling Donald and we're over there. Donald and squatty potty. It happened here folks.

Starting point is 00:31:10 Yeah, it happened right here because of Lisa. Thank you Lisa. Thank you for ignoring your goal. The next million dollar inventory. I know, do you see how this, you see what I'm saying? How this lady should probably be spending more time at home asking her kids exactly what's going on in their lives

Starting point is 00:31:23 rather than worried. You, how dumb do you have to believe, I'd be, that believe that this is actually happening more time at home asking her kids exactly what's going on in their lives rather than worried. How dumb do you have to believe, I'd be, that believe that this is actually happening and you haven't heard about it everywhere. Like, wouldn't it be the first thing your kids, every kid would come home and say, they put a litter box in the bathroom. I think we have a cat or Julie likes to be standing up. I'm not sure.

Starting point is 00:31:42 Yeah. So stupid. Let's just listen to what else she has to say. Just last for a minute. Okay. That as a parent, that my child is put in an environment like that. And you know, I'm all for creativity and imagination. But when someone lives in a fantasy world and expects other people to go along with it,

Starting point is 00:31:59 I have a problem with that. Huh. Isn't that interesting, hardly? Yeah. When other people live in a fantasy world and refuse to let other, and refuse to hear what's really going on. Yeah, sounds like Lisa. Sounds like Lisa.

Starting point is 00:32:12 Lisa is talking about herself. So I'm just putting that out there. I will investigate more. But as far as the test to stay program. Why do I feel like Lisa is that? That's now going back to the test to stay program, which I won't get into fucking cares, you know, I don't want to get into politics. This is not political. This is the pro, this is the problem with parents and these fucking PTA meetings and the school board meetings

Starting point is 00:32:36 right now is that the parents are too busy worried about being right in front of all the other parents that they act like children while the children a Facebook group group get started and catch fire and it's ridiculous while the children have to act like adults they have to be worried about all the adult things because the adults are too busy back in each other off over fucking masks and testing and vaccines and other boxes? Whatever it is, you know, we're gonna teach them whether or not the Indians were slaughtered. I mean, come on, just like, get fucking real. Lisa!

Starting point is 00:33:14 Lisa. So now, with all of that said, I want to calm the mood and the room down a little bit. I want to be cool. Oh, Uncle Brian is back. Before we left for vacation, yes, before you got sick, before you got COVID, we were going to do one or two more episodes. And as a part of those one or two more episodes, we were going to play another Frankie B video.

Starting point is 00:33:38 Frankie B had put out a quick hit, five or six videos, right in a row, like in two weeks. He had put out five or six videos all about dating, some of his best material to date. And by say, best I mean worst. He was, this is the kind of material that commercial break was born to cover, right? This is the true news stories

Starting point is 00:33:54 that are going on in our society. This Frankie B. Now, because you got sick, we were unable to cover that video. We were unable to cover the action with Frankie B. And then Frankie B. And then Frankie B went and took down all dating related material that he had made in about two year period. Yeah, you texted me, you're like, he took it all down.

Starting point is 00:34:16 It's all gone. It's all gone. Oh my gosh, do you think it was us? I assumed that because we have had some commenters on his page. It's obvious that they're coming from us because they call him Frankie B and they say things that we say they repeat it, right? Now, they're not being overtly mean, but they are having fun with it, right?

Starting point is 00:34:33 So I appreciate you not being overtly mean whoever it is you are. But now I think that I was maybe being a little egotistical about this because Frankie appeared recently with, he's now doing travel reviews. Yeah, he reviewed a Mary Ott and San Juan. He's down at Cabo San Lucas. He's at the local, you know, business influencer. I wonder if he's gonna freeze today. Of course he is with numbers like that. With commercial break like numbers on your YouTube channel. How could you not? with commercial break like numbers on your YouTube channel. How could you not? He's 21, too.

Starting point is 00:35:06 By 21, I mean, 21 lists, 21 views. But in one of the videos, I noticed that he called, not only called attention to, but showed a woman that he called his girlfriend, which we haven't heard before from Frankie. His dating advice may have worked. May have worked. And because I was waiting for this date again.

Starting point is 00:35:29 Now I imagine this is how it goes. One or two day, like date number four in. Hey, look at my body. Had you checked, you noticed my YouTube channel? I'm doing real good on that YouTube. People love me. I'm giving all kind of advice. And that's, you know, I-

Starting point is 00:35:41 Who are you on your phone with? Who are you on your phone with? Who are you talking to? What was your name? I know I wasn't supposed to be your date tonight, but I'm sure I'm glad we met. Now, let me ask you a question. Have you checked out my YouTube channel?

Starting point is 00:35:53 Yes, Frankie, I've checked out your YouTube channel. And quite frankly, I'd like you to take it down if we're gonna continue to take it. Exactly. I don't want my parents to ever see it. Let's play a little game. What do you like about me? What do you dislike about me? What do you dislike about me?

Starting point is 00:36:05 What do you dislike about me? And what I dislike about you? All of your YouTube videos. Yeah, exactly. You're horrible fucking dating advice, Frankie. We're gonna change this, right? My friends can't see that you're, that this worked. That's right.

Starting point is 00:36:19 They can't thank any of this work. Yeah. Frankie, if I had known this before, we had met, we wouldn't be dating right now. Exactly. Or Frankie had a, yeah. But I've been at now and you've got a nice card of nice body. Hey Frankie, it's me, Bob, yeah, me and Jeannie, my wife, you know, Jeannie, we were talking a dinner the other day and we really liked that lady Rachel, you're dating. So we got a piece of advice for you. Stop those fucking YouTube videos, look at it, look at that dumb ass.

Starting point is 00:36:45 What are you doing? I'll grease up and slick down, and drive in your COVID around like you have half a bono. It's like a bad Viagra infomercial. Stop it, Frankie. Get over your third ex-wife and just move on. Don't let Rachel go. She's a good one.

Starting point is 00:37:01 And by the way, she is super attractive. Super attractive. Thanks. For the age group that they're in, which is close to the age group. I mean, it's a bug. I bet he plays six word word, two, six letter word, two. You know, they always say Donald Trump's playing four DHS, Brian's playing six letter word,

Starting point is 00:37:21 with about as much success as Donald had playing four DHS. So, so all the dating videos are gone. Yeah. Now there's these review videos that quite frankly are just gold, holy. They're just gold. If you thought he was funny with the dating advice, you should see him doing review. I'm sure. It's not a review.

Starting point is 00:37:38 It's just him with a camera, making everybody else around him and the resort feel uncomfortable. And he is so sunburned. He's got like a wazor skin. He looks like I'm looking into the mirror. I'm looking into the future. The sweet in your future. Let her skin bad air and a cold bed. Maybe you'll franchise the daily beds. Yeah, listen, I think they've done that. But maybe I'll be the first. No, no, I'm saying maybe you'll buy into a franchise. Listen, I'll put us long suite. You know what they say?

Starting point is 00:38:26 Funeral, food, and drugs. People always need those things. Those are great businesses to invest in, right? I wanna add tanning beds on. I'm gonna put a salon suite. You're always gonna need a salon suite and you're always gonna need to get that dark brown as well you've been looking for.

Starting point is 00:38:43 So it turns, it's like my Superman cape. It turns me in from a Clark Kent into an Uncle Brian. Oh my God. Okay, so I had to go way back in the video catalog, which I've never done. I know. I had to go way back in the catalog to find something that we hadn't done.

Starting point is 00:38:59 And what I found was one of the very first dating videos that Frankie ever did, relationship advice videos that Frankie ever did, relationship with Vice Video's at Frank Everdead. So this is like almost 4 years old, I think. This is OG. And I've never seen this before. He's busted out of that shirt. I know, looking at him.

Starting point is 00:39:14 He's got, he's still got dark hair. Yeah. Yeah. He's got all his teeth, it looks like. His skin is only mildly leathery. Right. Look at that shirt. I got a huge tattoo.

Starting point is 00:39:24 That's how I wear my shirt. Oh yeah? Depending on what it is. You kind of attracted to Frankie a Right. Look at that shirt. He's got a huge tattoo. That's how I wear my shirt. Oh yeah. Depending on what it is. You kind of attracted to Frankie Ladoo. No, not at all. You don't think he's good looking? No. No.

Starting point is 00:39:32 I mean, he's not my style. Okay. He's not. I think he's the opposite of your style. He's somebody's style though. I'm sure there's a definite group of women out there that like that. I know he's like that.

Starting point is 00:39:43 Rachel, I don't know her name is Rachel. Let's call her Rachel. Rachel, his girlfriend. The girlfriend. Not our friend Rachel. I know it like that Rachel. I don't know her name is Rachel. But let's call her Rachel. Rachel his girlfriend. The exact not our friend Rachel. No, not our friend Rachel. So I feel like if Frankie and Rachel got together, there may be an interaction there. Rachel may see it as a challenge.

Starting point is 00:39:57 She might be like, I'll get this guy. I got to. Meanwhile, Rachel should understand is there's no challenge to getting Frankie. You just have to give a little bit of attention. Yeah, look at my body. Okay, so without further ado, I would like to take you back four years to one of the first videos Frankie did about it. Can you do like a time and sound?

Starting point is 00:40:20 I'll do it in the... Yes. I'll do it in the S. Hey all my little commercial breakers. It's that time in the commercial break for a commercial break www.tcbpodcast.com Please go there you can find out more about Chrissy and I all the video is up there and all the audio is up there You can listen and watch from one place if you want your free Tcb collectible sticker. it's really easy to get one. Leave us a comment or a review

Starting point is 00:40:48 on your favorite podcast publisher. Or if you happen to purchase one of the products or services from a sponsor of ours, just send us a screenshot on the website and we'll send you a free collectible sticker. We're on series number two, if you're interested. 661-237-8296 is where you can leave us a text message. If you have any show ideas, you want to communicate with us, you have a comment about the show,

Starting point is 00:41:11 you love us, you hate us, whatever it is, 661. Best, the number 2. Why oh, this season we spent a ton of time and money to build a brand new studio for youtube.com slash the commercial break. If you would, go there and subscribe. It'll add an extra layer to your TCB experience and we sure would appreciate it. If you're ever in the market for our sponsors, products or services, please use our specialized URLs and codes. It helps us more than you know.

Starting point is 00:41:40 And if you ever have any comments or concerns about the sponsors embedded inside of our show, just send us a text message and we'll talk to you all fair from the bottom of our heart Thanks for listening and now a word from our sponsors Okay, so without further ado, I'd like to bring you The Frankie the long-lost Frankie B video. I'm going to put this on full screen there. You can see our reaction. I hope you catch this at youtube.com slash the commercial right could be cut up into a clip. Are you available anywhere else? Because it's not on his channel. Is it? This is on this is on his show. Oh it is. He's

Starting point is 00:42:15 about that. This is on his. He's like that's from four years ago. That's from four years ago. I think he forgot about it. It seemed like he might have had a patreon at one point maybe. Oh, okay. He tried it like us. Yeah, he tried it like us and had no subscribers just like us. Okay, you ready? Yes. Here we go. Frankie B from four years ago. Oh, wait, hold on, I got it.

Starting point is 00:42:38 I can actually, okay, ready. That's right. Okay, so without any further ado, I'd like to bring to you Frankie B from four years ago. You ready for this? I'm ready. Put on the full reaction. There we go. Look at that camera angle. Check us out on youtube.com slash the commercial break Frankie B.

Starting point is 00:43:03 Women's attention. You get through the first date, but you just can't seem to get a second or a third You feel like women are only attracted to wealthy handsome men that you're like crap. Yes, just like me Well, the handsome men just like me Classic Frankie very much Just like me This is classic Franky Very much is here that oh man. You're a nice guy and there's definitely a woman out there for you guys If you are hearing that then brother you are definitely frustrated The universal call single-douches everywhere.

Starting point is 00:43:46 Bravo! I remember for a long period of my life, I would go anywhere and anybody that looked like they had a penis, I'd be like, what's up, brother? Yeah, they'd be like, it's a douche. Nice sandals, bro. What are those khakis? Yeah, brother. What are those if you magnets you got on good for you. You know how to say bro.

Starting point is 00:44:12 He was Frank Benardo and I welcome you to my channel remember this channel is geared for all guys out there 50 and above that want to up their game look and feel better about themselves Hey guys, where are you? Yeah, You see him facing back and forth. He can't sit still. I know. I'm so excited.

Starting point is 00:44:35 It's like the feed the vitamin B and creatine just hit. Woo. This video sponsored by cocaine. I'm gonna about how to get women to like you. But first, let me remind you, hit that subscribe button and smash that subscribe button. Smash that smash, hit it. Hit that like bell. Hit that like bell. Oh my god, Frankie, you're too much.

Starting point is 00:45:03 You don't, in four, you learned nothing about you too. You should say the same thing still. Notification key. If you want to be notification key. What? What? What is the notification key? Maybe that's why you. They phased that out four years ago. This is before YouTube. You recorded this one for YouTube. This is the early 90s when he was still 55. Yeah. My YouTube family. All right. Let's get into it.

Starting point is 00:45:30 Guys, the first thing you got to understand to get women, you got to get women. Whoa. Mine, mine blown to get women. You got to get women. Do you understand what I'm saying ancient Chinese secret ancient Ancient Bernardo secret to get women you got to get women and buy get women. I mean kidnap

Starting point is 00:45:54 You got to catch my trip. I can't talk about it. They're all a map. Yeah, it's something about YouTube's privacy policy or something I'm not really sure Hit that notification key. That'll take you to my other YouTube channel. How to get that women. Hey Pete, that, to get women, you gotta get women. In other words, guys don't understand where women are coming from emotionally, but when you understand how attraction works in women, suddenly suddenly you start to get women

Starting point is 00:46:32 Frankie here's an opportunity to actually give some meaningful advice but he's not going to because He's just gonna breeze over what he just said which by the way sounded like a riddle wrapped in the nigma to get women You got to understand them emotionally you got to touch them in their inside parts where their outside parts meet their head And if you know how to do that then this chances are emotionally you physically understand exactly where psychologically they lie Spiritually everything comes to connection inside of their womb now. Did you catch that? No, I'm gonna just move on Cuz I don't either. I just want a YouTube channel. Is that okay?

Starting point is 00:47:07 It's like put together to help you through this process. Number one, guys, be nice. Wait, didn't we already have number one? Did we? I thought we, I thought number one was already, I thought we were all number one. No, I think he is. Yeah, the emotions.

Starting point is 00:47:21 Yeah, the emotions. And now he's back to number one. We're actually, that was a, that was a preface. Well, we're going D. Yeah, we emotions. And now it's back to number one. That was a preface. Well, we're going D. Yeah, we're going D. This is meta. Feeling it up. It's the preface.

Starting point is 00:47:30 This is fun. Emotions. And then number one bullet point. Yeah, I see. Okay, I feel like that. I'm trying. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out.

Starting point is 00:47:39 I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it out. Yeah, one dot emotions a parenthesis So easy it's not difficult be polite say please say thank you Help you take their phone during dinner

Starting point is 00:47:58 Please, and thank you drag him in by their hair. Yeah, that's like a bean ice and a pleasant thing. You sound like we're in kindergarten. But yes, start with the basics. Go elementary, Frankie. I'm teaching, I'm teaching the T as the study. Right, go elementary. Go polite. Go polite. Paul, be kind in general.

Starting point is 00:48:16 But the old cliche is, oh, nice guy's finished last. That's a bunch of bull. Bad asses, they finished last too. Wait. Oh, no. Oh,, they finished last two. Wait. Oh no. Oh, that was crazy. Give me a second here. I thought it was a badass.

Starting point is 00:48:29 Yeah, you have a whole video about how badasses finish first and everybody else sucks. That's what you said. Badasses are the best everybody else in the position. Maybe this is where he started. Maybe he started with this trying to be nice. OK. But then he devolved as he got less.

Starting point is 00:48:44 He evolved? He devolved as he got Let's evolve He devolved that's right. He did he's like he's like moving toward me. That's what all one backwards step at a time As he tried the tricks of trade he kept getting shot down and then so he kept going towards badass. Well listen He made it he made the He made the full turn Eventually He made the, he made the, he made the full turn eventually. And today everybody wants to be treated, what respect. And women are absolutely no exception to the rule.

Starting point is 00:49:13 Here's the kicker. There is a difference between being nice and being needy and clingy. The needy, clingy guys. I'm playing onto you. Yeah. There is a difference between tin foil and Reynolds wrap. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:49:29 I don't know what they are, but I just am both in my cabinet, just in case I have to keep your mouth shut. Yeah, there's a difference between clinky and nice. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but not also not trying to give you dating advice. So there you go You will finish last whatever you do do not make that woman the center of your universe She'll destroy you down the line Whatever you do be polite, but do not ever, ever give that woman a compliment, treat her, treat her with any kind of respect.

Starting point is 00:50:11 You know, I always said treat women with respect, disregard that all together, because if you put a woman at the center of your universe, meaning you give her any bit of attention that's positive, she will eat you like the Medusa that she is. That fucking bitch. She will take you to court and she will literally get $55,000 a year in Alamoney plus legal fees. Just telling you what's gonna happen. I'm not saying it happened to me. I'm saying it could happen. Catherine. Bitch. Well, I can't have a side piece.

Starting point is 00:50:39 God, Catherine. Catherine. You didn't like the penis pump. I told you that's how I get it up. Yeah, because it's an extra few minutes. Is it extra few minutes before play? What do you care? Tip number two.

Starting point is 00:50:51 Do you ever hear a beach, anyone? Whoa, whoa, what happened? He put his hand onto the camera and he just... He did it like a whole YouTube trick. No, he's great. Years ago. Oh yeah, now his hair is gray. Well, that was a trick it was.

Starting point is 00:51:09 He aged three years in one YouTube. So I probably took him that long to edit the video. He's like, I'm going to figure out a cut this immediately. How do we use these scissors on here? Let me Google that. And now he's at a townhouse facility in England. And Italy is a little bit... It does look like he's in England.

Starting point is 00:51:31 What is up with that? Who still has the flower pots outside their window? It's very new, very new Voreesh. Franky is... Yeah, there's like an old telephone booth there, I think, in the back. Oh yeah, I see that. You know what you don't see is you don't see the neighbors. Like, are we told you not to film here Frankie? You don't live here.

Starting point is 00:51:48 Just one minute, just one minute. I'm just trying to be getting, I'm trying to smash that YouTube subscribe button. I'm gonna be a YouTube influencer. You're gonna be arrested. Someone that you're not, let me repeat that. Do not be someone that you're not. Guys, don't wear clothes that you wouldn not let me repeat that do not be someone that you're not guys Don't wear clothes that you wouldn't normally wear don't wear a clone that you wouldn't normally put on and quit talking in a way that sounds

Starting point is 00:52:14 Don't try and use someone else's penis to have sex. I'm just giving you some He really he's got one of these yeah, he's at one of these. Yeah, he's at one of these work play things You know how it goes. That's that's these things are built for Frankie B's You know I'm talking about they're built for 55 to 75 year olds that at least appear that they have expendable income And are on the prowl for hot 50 year old women Don't appear as what you're not meanwhile. What is he doing? I don't know These developers are counting on guys like Frankie walking in and paying $3 million for to have flower pots outside

Starting point is 00:52:50 their window. Way too cool. You're gonna end up confusing the girl because when you go back to being your normal self, you're gonna flip her out. She's not gonna know who you are. Just be genuine, be yourself. Don't try to impress them.

Starting point is 00:53:05 Because it's going to catch up with you. Have her fall for you. Who you really are. And not who you're pretending to be. Whoa, I did it again. Maybe it's at the same place. Look how proud of himself he is. I know. Because he did it at the same place. He did that YouTube trick, but he went nowhere. He's now in front of a store, right? Frankie, you still shouldn't do the advice

Starting point is 00:53:27 that Frankie is giving. It is so thin on premise and thick on bullshit. It is like, don't give that woman any kind of attention because you wanted to fall for you, not the other way around. God forbid, God forbid, you put any time or attention into your lady. But be respectful, be nice, but be respectful be nice but mean be respectful

Starting point is 00:53:46 But pull her pants down in front of other people so she knows who wears the who has the dick in the family You know what I'm talking about? That's the kind of man I am Before I get on to my next tip. I got to get me some food. I'm freaking starving Catchin I'm gonna do this YouTube trick one more time. Yeah. It's a seven a.m. to two thirty p.m. Wow. This place must be popping.

Starting point is 00:54:13 Frankie, for those of you listening, Frankie is now walking into a restaurant and you can, the way that I have the video stopped. You can see the time on the door, like the time the hours are there open. It's a seven thirty a.m. to two p.m. This is a retirement facility, Frankie's that oh My god

Starting point is 00:54:31 Soft food served here from 7 to 2 Oh, taking us with All right, all right, I just ate all right. I just ate took a big fat shit and someone else's restroom. I don't live here. I live in my daughter's dorm room But I come here daily they love me. It's a fuck out friggy. Don't break that video camera here I don't Someone someone on five or is charge Frankie weighs in which money for advice on how to edit your video There's always a big line in there. That food is really good. All right It is really good. Well, let me tell you the name of the place

Starting point is 00:55:17 I don't know I don't get it. It's like this is not dating advice Three guys. It's getting to know her. What are these random shots? See, you gotta go to youtube.com slash the commercial break because this adds a whole nother layer of interesting to Frankie B when you can actually see him doing his thing. Now he's got a random shot of him walking down the street,

Starting point is 00:55:40 but he's been holding the phone the entire time, like a selfie style, right? Now all of this sudden it's's like he's got multi camera everywhere Why did you decide five minutes in the video to bring that in it's a director? Oh guys guys one thing that'll really Aggravate a woman is if you are having a conversation and she's holding up her ended a deal by asking you questions like How's your family? What do you do for work?

Starting point is 00:56:06 How do you like work? Do you get along with so and so? If all you're doing is answering the questions and not asking her about herself, then that's going to piss her off. And you're going to lose her interest real quick. He's unzipped. What in the world are we talking about here? He's unzipped his zipper all the way down.

Starting point is 00:56:24 Well, this, beside that, it's nice the fact that he's showing more and more of his chest. Okay. You listening to what he's saying? This was supposed to be five tips on how to get women in your whatever, your 70s. And now he's talking about when you're having a conversation at dinner and you're not asking,

Starting point is 00:56:43 what are you talking about? This is the problem with Frankie. We've said this before I'll say it again, for those of you that just joining the show. The problem with Frankie is he has an opportunity here to really give some solid advice and I bet he would go from 5,000 subscribers or 2,000 or whatever it is to 50,000 subscribers

Starting point is 00:57:01 in his age range because he's kind of a handsome gentleman. Yeah. He's put together. Yeah. Some people think he might be a businessman, he might actually have a job out there, right? The guy, and he's got a camera presence, whether you like it or not,

Starting point is 00:57:14 whether it's funny to you or not. Funny to us. Care is magic for sure. He has an opportunity to really get people in a way that's entertaining, but instead he just talks and fucking circles. Then veiled. Yeah, he just talks and fucking circles. Then veiled.

Starting point is 00:57:26 Yeah, he does. Yeah, I was a whisper of an idea. Yeah, you do well, Frankie, to actually talk to somebody before you make these videos and storyboard them out, really. To ask her, ask her questions about her life. What are her dreams? What was her child? Let me give you an example. Chrissy, thanks for all the questions about me, but I now have a few questions for you about your hopes and your dreams. Do you hope to have

Starting point is 00:57:55 sex with me soon? Do you dream about getting into my pants? Chrissy, what do you think about me? Don't forget to ask the questions, guys. Or she's going to get turned off real quick. Let me hit the camera again. We'll go somewhere else down this street. He has his gun down this street. I know.

Starting point is 00:58:19 He's walking around some small town and I feel like Northern Chicago or something. I don't know what you're like. What's your favorite movie? If she's doing all the asking and you're showing no interest, she's gonna get sick of that and then she's gonna end up. She's a deceiver for the movie. Just drawing you later in your life. She'll destroy you later on in your life

Starting point is 00:58:39 after you get married with the world's most boring person. I can see what Frankie thinks is going on in his head, like the advice that he's giving. That guys are just, like, asking me a few questions. Okay, hey, Brian, what's your favorite color? Like, what do you have brothers and sisters? What? Cream.

Starting point is 00:59:01 No. It's for favorite food. I don't know. Fantastic. How do you think this date is going? Yeah. So do you want to go to my apartment in the Hebsech? No. I think we've really hit it off.

Starting point is 00:59:18 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Frankie, come on. This is a common sense. Right. Finding someone else who cares to listen to her and is interested in her life. This whole is so true. You had a whole new spot. He's got, yeah, he's got the same stuff. Geneva Public Library. Geneva Public Library. Geneva is in Wisconsin, I think. Yeah. So we'll look this up and get this information for you. But I think Geneva, we're seeing

Starting point is 00:59:41 a street. That's not a Switzerland. No, it's not No, it's not a switch You're not allowed in Switzerland probably I don't think so, Frankie not this time. We want to be full this time We still have many women stand up out of you You're not allowed I was out in a restaurant with my girlfriend last weekend and so helped me God there was a blind date there okay and all this guy did there was a blind date there so I swooped right in. Let me give you some advice.

Starting point is 01:00:15 Let me give you some advice actually let me just take your date for you. Come back in a couple hours we'll see how it's going. I'm here at our booth. Yeah we go talk to my girlfriend for a minute. I'm here to chat booth. Yeah, we go talk to my girlfriend for a minute. I'm here to talk to my body. Look at my body. Oh, he did. It was him, him, him.

Starting point is 01:00:31 It was sports, sports, sports. And that poor girl, we were watching her. She was just sitting with her hand on her face. I bet that's why he doesn't have the same girlfriend he had during this because the girlfriend was like, fuck, Frankie, stop listening to these other people. Pay attention to me. That's a good point. Like, you're telling people not to get a pay attention to your day.

Starting point is 01:00:51 Yeah. You're out with your girlfriend. Listen to some other dude. Yeah. You're giving point or yeah, you're like a. He's right now. No. It's like John Madden during one day.

Starting point is 01:00:59 That's my football. Honey, can I tell you about my, you know, Frankie, can I tell you about my day? No hold on. Hold on. I got to write down what these other people I'm too busy getting new content for my Fluently pathetic in this guy couldn't have been more Illinois Illinois Illinois Illinois all the license plates I didn't even Illinois all the license

Starting point is 01:01:21 Yeah, we go we're on to I took did not tell you the first video this guy was from Chicago? This is concrete evidence. In his conversation, but he didn't give her any respect of listening to her. And I was listening to the other couple. And I was disrespecting my girlfriend. I was listening to him disrespect her. It's amazing how that works.

Starting point is 01:01:42 Idiot. Stupid idiot. By the way, I don't have that girlfriend anymore. That's my ex-girlfriend. What if you like smash the camera and update to this video? I no longer have that girlfriend. But still, if you're looking for a hot date, call 1-800-Frankivie.

Starting point is 01:01:59 Went real well. All I'm telling you is I got to experience that firsthand. It's horrible. Start paying attention to your woman Okay, this leaves us in oh the crotch shot Okay, now the video is gone to crotch shot. We're at full crotch shot Thank you sitting on a set of stairs and he's got the camera pointed directly into his dick Oh my god. Look at those balls. I don't think he has a penis. That is the wrong angle. That looks like a camel. Yeah, it's a wrong angle, especially when

Starting point is 01:02:37 you're not working with everything. Look at the, look at the, like the unfiltered version it's like a camel toe let's go on there. Frankie, they call me Frankie 3. Next segment here okay pay attention when she's talking guys and she's talking about going to a movie that she wants to say. Hey they'll pay this to my balls. The look up here. Look at my eyes. It's hard to take you seriously when this literally the focus of this particular shot is your

Starting point is 01:03:10 crunch. Yeah. It's your day is a bulge in your jeans. I bet he took an hour to get that right. I'm gonna show him what I'm wearing. I'm trying to set it up on the stairs. He's talking his penis to the it up on the stairs. I know. I know. He's standing. He's talking his penis to the left and to the right. There are people in this neighborhood that are scared of Frankie. I know. Oh, there's Frankie. Go the other way.

Starting point is 01:03:34 There's that weird guy, honey. I know. Come look, there's that weird guy again. That's the video, and I'm going to stop. He's hiding in the bushes. Around our little area. Where the camera in his crotch. I could see some couple going out to the grocery store.

Starting point is 01:03:46 This beautiful town of Geneva and they're like, you know what, honey? I think we'll get some salmon. Go keep going, keep going, keep going. Quick. We'll get something from 7 11 and I did Indiana. We'll get some hot dogs at the QT. Make sure you take a mental note of that. And when that movie comes out, make sure you call her up and you take her there. Man, you will floor her. She's actually going

Starting point is 01:04:11 to go, oh my God, a guy who actually remembers what I was talking about. Dude, it's pure brownie points. Oh. Dude, that's pure penis points right there, but pure penis points. You have me like a one-on-one Conversation here you get down there. Yeah, look at Well, I tell you something. He's probably got his girlfriend with a pianny film like dick Can you do me a favor? I'm gonna get a dick shot in there. Remember that guy from five Oh, you know how you girls like to, you know, go up with your pictures take them as you go. I like to go low. I want to go. Hey, honey, we need to get a

Starting point is 01:04:52 change first. We need to get a taint shot in here, honey. You think we can you can roll under me on a skateboard? Yeah, it's a moving taint shot. No, it's growing like god damn it. Goddamn. This is the last. This is it. is it the last time I go out with this guy mom was right. He's an asshole That's what I want. I want me a nice cup of coffee. Oh, no, oh god Okay, I'm gonna hit this place and then we're gonna get back to the video. Why are we walking? Oh wait There's a song coming up. Why are we walking around going into places and then not really going into places? This is the worst, by the way,

Starting point is 01:05:28 I did not get this far in the video. So I'm seeing this for the first time just like you are. This is possibly the worst YouTube video that exists. Yeah. Oh, that was just theme. Nothing like a rock and sleepy coffee shop at two in the afternoon in Geneva Chicago The third time this guy has done this take

Starting point is 01:05:55 It's a girl actually. Yeah, she's probably like yeah Mom told me this guy was walking around town She's probably reading about him on some website. Look out for creepy predator. ["Creepee Predator"] Where are you? All right. Pastries.

Starting point is 01:06:16 All right. Pastries and ice cream. Why are we watching this video? Oh, we're going to relationships. This is my Frankery struggling on YouTube. Yeah. Because you got a case, stay focused, bro. It's not the commercial break.

Starting point is 01:06:31 Oh, there's the guy playing the music. No. He's going on. He's on a tour of some small town. It's awful. all down. Stopped. Oh, we're back in the car. Oh, we're back in the car. Oh, we're back in the car. Oh, we're back in the car.

Starting point is 01:06:58 Oh, we're back in the car. Oh, we're back in the car. Oh, we're back in the car. Oh, we're back in the car. Oh, we're back in the car. I'm gonna go home. Get this thing charged up. We're a burdened little battery. I got a blind date tonight with my ex girlfriend. Well, maybe you shouldn't have wasted your battery by taking us into the coffee shop. And the more, then the more,

Starting point is 01:07:11 to the relationship, or the car shot. Or the car shot, or any of these shots. You should have stayed in the studio, made this video three minutes instead of 12 of a tour of a little town on which you showed us nothing.

Starting point is 01:07:22 No names of any places to go. Yeah, I'm breaking. I'm breaking. You are so ADD, it's not even funny. little town on which you showed us nothing no names of any places to go. Frank, you are so ADD. It's not even funny. I mean, listen, not that I'm not, but Frankie, you got to get to shit together, bro. Oh my God, holy, I love Frankie so much. It's so good. We owe so much to Frankie B. I think quite frankly, we owe a lot to Frankie B. We do. You're gonna hear me say that in the courtroom, but I think we owe him a lot. Oh my gosh. Frankie B.

Starting point is 01:07:49 All right, that one's for you, Allison. Yeah, you know, we get we get we get feedback whenever we do a Frankie B. And inevitably, I mean, most people give it our enjoying Frankie B. Yes, but there are some detractors. There are some that say, come on guys, you've done a lot of Frankie B. Can we move on with something else? It's just so good. It's so fucking good. It's so good. It's so funny. It's so fun It's kind of like mystery Frankie theater 3000 It's like I just I want to watch and make comments. I don't know because when I want when I started watching this These before I put them on the commercial break. I was making this commentary in my head

Starting point is 01:08:23 Yes, and now we can say it out to LVU. That's right. All right, all you hard walkers out there. That's right. Go to TCB The Brand. One card. Brand new TCBpodcast.com, while my wife hates the podcast, she loves doing shit for it.

Starting point is 01:08:39 So the brand new TCBpodcast.com. So where you can listen to all the audio, you can watch all the video, you can find a place to get your collectible tcb sticker, all you people who are leaving reviews, please, send us in a screenshot and we'll send you a sticker. Please, please, and thank you for sending in the reviews. Continue to do so on your favorite podcast provider.

Starting point is 01:08:58 It really does help out. It really honestly does. Number 21, we're aiming for top 15, and God bless us if we get to top 10, watch out. That's safe. We just might retire. What else is there to do? I mean, here's the problem with being number 21. Now you're always going to fight, you're going to want to fight to get back there, right? Because the charts change every couple of hours. And inevitably it's like, it's like, we're up to the challenge. We're up to the challenge. We're up to the challenge. We'll do it. So, tcbpodcast.com661, best to yo, that's 661.

Starting point is 01:09:28 The number two, best, the number two, yo, 661, two, three, seven, eight, two, nine, six. Please send us a text message. Give us your content, ideas. Send us in your comments, your concerns, your questions. If you ever have any comments, concerns or questions about our sponsors, we would appreciate it if you communicate with us

Starting point is 01:09:45 through the website or through text message or voicemail and we'll talk to you off air. Uh, that's it. What else can we do today? I think that's all. Okay, so from my heart to your heart, I love you. I love you. And I love you out there in the podcast universe.

Starting point is 01:09:58 Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. For Brian and Chrissy, Brian Green, Chrissy HODLY, the commercial break and everybody here. Working on the show, we'd like to bid you a do, and as we always do, we will do, and we have to do. We're going to say, MEEEEEEE!

Starting point is 01:10:16 The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays, new YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley, with additional content provided by Tinaino Carnot. I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it,

The Commercial Break - Please Don't Litter!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.