The Commercial Break - Polygamy Pipeline

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Bryan is under the weather, so today we bring you a mystery episode from the vault! Ballpark madness We’re breaking down Seeking Sister Wives A roast of Garrick Three’s Company to polygamy pipeline He's a stay at home dad Hoadley and Astrid forever

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You need to rest as well. On this episode of the Commercial Break... It's me again, producer Christina here, and unfortunately, Brian and co. are still out of commission. But we will be back in action tomorrow, mark my words. So they've left me with no choice but to air an episode that we were never supposed to air. Enjoy! The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now!

So dirty in the morning! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the ketchup to my mustard, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best of you, Kristen. Best of you, Kristen. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Get your hot dog. So I was telling the story about how I went to the Braves game a couple days ago and I

just quickly want to mention that as a part of some new weird tradition that the Atlanta Braves broadcasters are trying to throw out there, I guess. Listen, seventh inning stretch has been around for a long time. It's a tradition that in the middle of the seventh inning, you sing, uh, take me out to the ballpark. And it's been going on for a long time. But Harry Carrey perfected it. The former sportscaster for the Chicago Cubs, where I grew up up and if you lived in that time when Harry Carrey was around

No one will ever do it better. There's nothing like it. They try and replicate it But there's only one original Harry Carrey and he was the king of sausage king of Chicago for a long time But they have these two guys in the broadcast booth now at the Atlanta Braves Stadium And what they do is after they sing the song, take me out to the ball game, ballpark, they throw cracker jacks out into the crowd, like big bags or boxes of cracker jacks. They do bags now filled with air, like, you know, just a little bit of cracker jacks in there, because apparently they were hucking, my brother told me they were hucking boxes and they hit a kid.

I'm sure. Now wait, why can the broadcasters throw their bags of nuts out there? But my boy can't throw his bags of nuts out there. What is going on? I know he got stopped. He got stopped a long time ago, and I didn't hear any Hot dog guys at at the ballpark. I didn't hear not one of them not one person. That's a bummer I know it really is you got when you go to the ballpark that's what you expect. Get your hot dog hair. Yeah cold beer, hot dog. Foot long. Put a mustard on your dung. Five dollar. Yep yep yep yep. Cold Bud Light. Water but mainly Bud Light. That's where I make my money. Am I doing this for my health? Yes, I loved that.

I know. I didn't hear one of them. I was listening for them, but I was also like kind of in a part of the ballpark where maybe that just doesn't happen. It was behind home plate. Kevin's got great tickets behind home plate, but upper level first balcony. Plus you were focused on the guys porn. I was focused on the soft core Japanese porn that somebody was watching. Season ticket holders were watching

because the Braves won seven to nothing. And admittedly it got kind of boring after the start of the inning because it was like, eh, whatever. Cubs aren't that good. I'm gonna get right into it today because I got a special episode. It's Friday, I think, when you're listening to this. So God bless America.

I have been talking, it's Friday or Wednesday, one of those two days when we release this episode. So it's similar. It's similar, except one sucks and one doesn't suck. I've been talking about it. The only one's called hump day though. No, that's true, hump day. I took on a whole new meaning at that Whole Foods,

if you know what I mean. It did. Yeah, I read that story. Chrissy gave me a story from the local news where a lady went to Whole Foods, if you know what I mean. Yeah. I read that story. Chrissy gave me a story from the local news where a lady went to Whole Foods. She bent over to check out some fresh produce and someone jizzed on her back. That is not, I am in no way exaggerating. That's what happened and he's been arrested. So follow up to that story.

The guy has been arrested and charged with indecent exposure, sexual assault, all this other stuff, as he should be. The guy should go away to jail for a long time. You just can't jizz on people. No. A come and go is not appropriate unless someone understands that you're about to come and then go. Exactly. Consensual. Consensual, come and go, all about it. Been there, done that. But now that the whole food's

produce aisle to an unsuspecting shopper, and she was, she's like a famous plastic surgeon here in Atlanta. So I feel really bad for her. That's got to be... Nicole Soule-Northam Traumatic. Jared Soule-Northam Very traumatic. I can only imagine. Nicole Soule-Northam Gross. Jared Soule-Northam So anyway, onward and upward with the gross and disgusting stories. Let's move on to other gross and disgusting stories. Two things, three things I want to mention before we get into today's meat and potatoes. Number one, our good friend, Alison Hare, who may or may not

be partly responsible for the commercial break actually being in your ears right now. Alison Hare, who may or may not be partly responsible for the commercial break actually being in your ears right now. Alison Hare is a dear friend of ours, has been for a long time a big supporter of the show, even when we had no listeners. She just kept blowing smoke up our ass, basically telling us we were good when we knew we weren't and told us to keep going and pushed us and pushed us and pushed us. She is now on her fifth year of podcasting. She celebrates five years of podcasting. The podcast used to be- Happy anniversary.

I know. Used to be called Culture Changers, now called Late Learner. I think I've referred to it as Culture Changers in the past. It's called Late Learner. It is not anything like the commercial break, but, and it is mainly focused on females who are burnt out looking for something new in life, some purpose, some meaning, and they're burnt out on their corporate jobs. And that's Alison's whole gig. She quit her corporate job a couple of years ago and decided just to follow life's passions. She's a constant pursuer of knowledge. She actually has facts and experts on her show. Yes, she does.

Yeah. Unlike us. Yeah, it's not a fucking hand bone and hosie in the morning. She's not guessing. No, no guessing going on there. So anyway, if you're so inclined, Late Learner, I just want to give her a shout out because she's been so good to us over the years. Yes, she has.

And I don't usually like shouting out other podcasts, but I will do it here because this is an exception, okay? Go listen to Late Learner. Do it right now. Late Learner, anywhere you find your podcasts. Number two, you have responded. We made a call about, would you come to our shows in the Southeast if we had them? And you have responded.

So whoop whoop. So thank you very... So thank you to all those who have been writing in and telling us that they would come see the shows in the Southeast. So I'm just going to open it up. If you're anywhere in the world, let us know. I'm kidding. So if you're in New York or Chicago, let us know if you would go to the shows. New York, Chicago, Miami, if you're in those three cities and you would like to see a commercial break live show,

please let us know. We believe in late summer, early fall, we may announce some, we may announce, we may. We're not writing in the notebook. Subject to change. Yeah. Everything's subject to change. We're not writing in the notebook, so we're trying to actually get it off the ground. If you're in any of those three places or Charlotte, Nashville, Atlanta, Orlando, Tampa, or even, what do we say, Huntsville? Huntsville. Huntsville. Let us know and you would like to come see a commercial, if you're in those cities or around those cities and you would come see a commercial break live show, let us know, text us 212-4333-TCB.

More information to follow, that's what we're asking. We're trying to secure those dates. The promoter is on my ass to get some more information to him. So, I know we're going to be in central Florida. I know we're probably going to be in Atlanta. I believe we'll be somewhere in the Carolinas. So, if you're out there and you'd like to see our shows, please let us know. So, if you're out there and you'd like to see our shows, please let us know. And number three, just a little segue into our meat and potatoes here, all season, all television season, I've been talking about this show, Seeking Sister Wives. Yes, you have. Seeking Sister Wives, for those of you that don't know and cannot read, Sister Wives is

exactly what it sounds like, it's a show about polygamy. And TLC makes it bright and shiny and puts little bits and drama in it because that's what they do. They're a television station. They have to make everything interesting to the viewer. So who knows if half this stuff is real or not. But what I am sure is real is some of the dipshits that are trying to get additional wives on this show under the guise of what anything else except

for I just want additional ass, which is really what I think this is all about. That's my personal opinion is that they want to have their cake and eat it too literally all the time. And so, rather than me trying to explain it for 20 minutes, what happened on last season or who these people are, what they are, I am going to take a gamble here and I'd like to review like the introductory Episode for this season introduce you to the characters I've been talking about so you have a better idea of who they are and what they're all about Let's you want to dive so we usually don't do 40 minutes of a show But I'd like to break this down.

I think I'm doing this under fair use. If I'm not, my attorney will call me shortly or TLC will call us shortly, one of the two. But I would like to break this down. We'll do a little running commentary as we go by. I'll give you my opinion. You give me your thoughts. And so if you're watching, and I want to preface this also, because if you're watching this on the YouTube, we have changed the studio yet again.

It used to be a nice clean... Also, we have a new phone number. No, I'm kidding. Oh, God, don't say that. People are going to go crazy. We're still getting text messages on three phone numbers ago. How they're getting to me, I have no idea. I haven't paid a bill for that in years, but okay.

I can still remember our first phone number. I'm not going to say it, but I can still remember it. Probably because I said it three and a half million times over and over again. But if you're watching this on YouTube, the reason why we will be turned around is because we took the TV off the wall behind us at my wife's urging. She, that's her lane, strictly her lane. She does that. She's in charge of studio and design and creative. And she said it looked like shit. And I said, you're the one who told me to put it there There you go

You're the one Redecorating yeah a little Redecorating here in the studio youtube.com slash the commercial break And I don't know that I'll be able to play all of these clips video wise because I think then I do get into some Trouble in territory, so just listen to it. Just if you're here listening to the podcast stay right here It'll be clear to you. What's going on? Okay, so without further ado let's get started, because I think this is going to take up the whole episode. Let's get started on Seeking Sister Wives. This is, we're nine episodes into this particular season, but let's do the first episode. I like it.

So you get an introduction. Get you hooked. Get you hooked. Get an introduction. It's a little tasty-teener for free. Just to get you started. Just a little tasty-teener for free. Just get you started. Just a little tasty-tina. Four tits instead of two. You know what I'm saying? Six vaginas instead of one.

It feels so good. And by the way, can you do all the work and can you pay the bills? And I'll be here whacking off with a vagina. Not yours. All right. Let's take a listen straight from the beginning. Here we go. You were trolling on the internet.

Oh, sorry. I was trolling on the internet. As you do. I was trolling on DirecTV. As you do. I was glued to TLC as I do. Yes, as you do. Okay. And I found, I didn't find this. It just showed up and I like it. Would you be interested in...

Okay, these are the, like, this is the little intro that they do to every show. Dating my husband. As far as the amount of sexual attention that each of my wives receive, and you might not be close enough, it's kind of like in the solar system. Each of the planets revolves around the sun

in its own orbit at its own distance. What in the fuck does that mean? Exactly what does that mean? In reference to all of my wife's vaginas, sometimes Pluto is in the third arc of Mars and sometimes the Earth is revolving around the moon and my tongue is up my third wife's ass. Just like the planets, sometimes I'm in Uranus and sometimes I'm in Heranus. This is the character. Oh, that bed is huge. So they have a bed that is literally would fit three Magic Johnsons. I mean, it is huge.

Now, those have to be two pushed together. No, it's not. They bought a specialty mattress. You'll hear about this, I think, later on in the episode. Different bed in the house for that reason. This guy, just to give you a thing, just to talk about, there's four wives. There's four wives. They're showing what is going to happen on this season, so I don't think you'll hear it in this, but instead of marrying the wives, this particular gentleman takes a different tack.

The wives do all the work, his name is on the house, he does nothing but sit at home all day and think. That's literally what he does. He says it on camera, I'm in charge of thinking. That's what I'm in charge of. He's in charge of thinking. Somebody in the group needs to be. Instead of legally marrying any of these women,

the women get legally married to each other. I mean, they're not thinking, so somebody needs to do it. Oh my God. I mean, I just don't. And these women seem pretty bright. And I don't get it. But listen, it's 2024. I don't put anything past anybody.

Yeah. We can't be calling it that you okay some people live this life this is Garik this is the guy I've been talking about time I'll just have sex freely but that would be like wrong and evil no those aren't the reasons guys that's not the reason God It's God. My ass, Eric. I was kind of interested in getting to know you. Yes. Every time we are dating a woman, I see a glow in him that I don't see when we're not.

Of course, you got to worry about jealousy. Hi. This is Shane. Hi. If my wife was sitting next to me on a couch and said that, it would be a certain red flag that our relationship was over. Every time my husband is dating another woman, he gets a certain glow that he doesn't get with me.

We're a plural family. We're super open and excited to meeting new people. Have you been to a therapist before? Have not. That shows. Holy crap. Red flags all over the place. I just don't know if you know the seriousness

of the impact you had. That's not fair. You know, it's not fair at all. What do you think? Yeah, see, there's always gonna be some drama. Let's, let me do this. Let's get started on the episode. How's that?

Because I have fear that people who are just listening may not fully grasp what's going on here. So we're going to start- Basically, they just were doing a montage of the different families. Yeah, a montage of coming up this season. Yeah, coming up this season. You know how it goes. The plural families. Okay. So now we're going to actually get started on the episode. We're starting with the family where the gentleman was talking about his sex life orbiting something. I don't know how that made any sense. I don't know how that made any sense.

I'm Nick. I'm April. I'm Nick's first wife. I'm Jennifer. I'm Nick's second wife. She looks 10. She's 10. She's got braces on. She's young.

She's got braces and looks young, yeah. Let's take a guess at who gets the most sex out of all these women. I can see there's three wives. Oh my God, the third wife here. Yeah, there's three wives right now. They bring in a fourth later on in the season, but this girl who's about to talk right now, I think you're going to run a train through her head. She said they were bright.

This one. Not all of them. Yeah, there's always one in the group, you know? Hi! I'm Danielle, I'm Nick's third wife. We've been to this toy store before, have we? No, I don't think so. See if they got something to eat. Oh, they've got kids. We've been to this dildo store before, haven't we?

No? I'm interested to see what we might find, yeah. We're gonna find Vera a toy that I might pick something out for myself. They've got a baby. Y'all are paying the bills, so what do I give a shit? Did you bring your credit cards? I'm sure there's a lot of things that have played

into my affinity for a plural lifestyle. I used to grow up watching Three's Company, so I would see the way that man lived, and it never occurred to me that those weren't actually his wives. I just saw this man with all these women that seemed to care about him and I'm like, yeah, that's great You know me and it seems like What a great fucking reason to get into polygamy

Threes company understand the show three's company if you ever watched an episode of threes company Jack was gay That was the whole fucking Pretended to be gay from so mr. Schroder or whatever his name was. Mr. Roeder? I don't even remember what his name was. I forgot it too. The guy from Gilligan's Island. You know who I'm talking about. Barney. Barney.

Isn't it Barney? Barney from Gilligan's Island. No, from Andy Griffith, wasn't it? Oh yeah, it was. You're right. That's right. You're right about that. Mr. Furley. Mr. Furley. Or something about that. Mr. Furly. Mr. Furly. Oh, Drak, I didn't know you had a guy. I'd like to live.

I want some women to care about me too, you know what I mean? So it just seemed like a great way to live your life. These women are following this most unconventional way of life, where they feed this guy, they house him, they pay his bills, they do everything for him, and his whole entire philosophy on polygamy comes from a television show from the 70s that never made any sense in the first fucking place. Benefit of having a sister wife is like having a best friend. As much as I love Nick and I truly do, there are some things that they understand better because we are all women and so I think that's big.

And we're all fucking the same guy. Yeah. We all have the same dick in our ass. God. Some of us more than others, I might add. This is, listen, if you're into polygamy, by the way, I want to make it clear, Christy, if I have said this a million times, more power to you. I have seen it not work a number of times in my own personal sphere of influence, my

friends, my circle of influence, my friends, my circle of friends, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't work. And I know there's a lot of people for which it probably does work. These might be some of those people, but I just find that the reasoning behind it a little thin on this show. But I think that's part of like the allure of the show two, is that it's always like one step away from being a total fucking disaster. Hello. Hi there. Are you looking for anything special today? Yes, we are. We're looking for a fourth wife.

You have any wives? You have any wives? Would you like to be a wife? We got a birthday girl here Her birthday's coming up so we decided to come get her present See if there's something we'd like to figure out Yeah, she is a cute kid. They only have one kid. He's in charge of taking care of her So I guess he's a stay-at-home dad. That is a hard job. I didn't want to knock on that I was able to have a baby with Nick. She's almost a year old.

Her name is Farrah. We are here live at the birth center. Is April in the mother's room? Does the mother's, the mother's room? She's the one that looks 10. Yeah, she does look 10. She's, but she's not. She just has braces and she has a really young look.

Obviously, I don't think that Nick is sleeping with underage women. I don't. I want to make that clear too. I want to point out what's correct about this so I can point out what's incorrect about this or what I interpret to be incorrect about this. Here they're showing some home video from the birthing center where the mother-to-be is in a bathtub full of water. She has a little headband like you. Oh, Vera. She has a little headband like you. Oh, so nice. So nice. So nice. All the mommies agree.

This girl Vera is like, which one of you is my mommy? I know. Because, by the way, Nick is black. All of his wives are white. The child is black. So, I don't know which one of these, you know what I'm saying? Like she certainly takes on the traits of her father. They raise her from the beginning. The physical attributes.

Together, you know, I think is really important. Vera calls me and Jennifer and Danielle all mom, and it's the best thing to see. Oh, that kid is cute. Cute as a fucking button man. Oh so cute. Yeah so hard to The kid is really cute but nothing like messing the kid up

Nothing like fucking the kid up with three mommies that's right. Let's get the kid out of the way so we can have fun with the adults. Well and Danielle being a mother to Vera. Just to know that I can fully rely on another like fully loving parent to take care of Vera, I couldn't ask for more. Well, I do have to say there is some logic behind this. There is logic to that. You know, as they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and that is a hundred percent

true. And it used to be that you'd like call up your name, I mean, from what I hear, you'd call up your neighbors, they'd come over, they'd take care of the kid. Now obviously that led to some problems with some people. But at the end of the day, it's really hard to raise a child on your own or even with, like, a conventional nuclear family, like two people raising a child, you know? And I do have to say, if I had an extra adult in this house to take care of my kids, like I do right now with my in-laws, it's like happy days, because at least I get a five-minute break at some point, and God bless my wife. By the way, I have to say this, Astrid said to me the other day,

she goes, I listened to your episode about when I went to Miami, and she goes, you said none of that stuff to me directly, and I want you to know I loved it. I loved that you need me so much. Yeah, that you got a taste, and that you you need me so much and that you're so grateful for everything. And I said, consider that your Mother's Day present. A love letter to you. It's a love letter to you, baby. I love everything you do.

Okay, let's take a break and then we'll come back. We're just getting into it. Hi. No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait. And now look how happy you are. I know. I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow at the commercial break. Seriously,

please, it's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy Begg. So just follow us on Instagram again. That's at the commercial break. You can also follow us on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, you know where to go for all things TCB. That is tcbpodcast.com, baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around and that's a win.

212-433-3TCB. Love you, bye. Get your laugh on with me, Chris Jericho, and the Talk is Jericho podcast. We've got Guns N' Roses Hall of Famer Duff McKagan and his joke of the week every Friday, plus regular visits from the hilarious Brad Williams and special appearances by everyone from Gabrielle Fluffly-Aglaces, Mark Maron, Dennis Miller, Cheech Maron, Kevin Nealon. If they're funny, they're on Talk is Jericho. So listen to it, follow Talk is Jericho now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get

your podcasts. All right. Right back into it with Seeking Sister Wives. the Siaf or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, right back into it with Seeking Sister Wives. Look at these. Oh yeah, we got math games. We got math games. That's what I was looking for. Or this picture matching.

Oh, that might be fun. That would be good. You can match all your mommies together. That's something to kind of stimulate the intellect a little bit. you know what I mean? My wives work outside the home, so I'm a stand-home dad. Give it a try.

Oh my God, Chrissy. This chaps my heart, I'm sorry it does. She's not letting this thing go. Okay, all right. Aw. Yeah, yay. As far as me not having a job, they've always seemed to prefer my time to be spent in the activities that I find most enriching.

How nice. Masturbating and playing Call of Duty. Sing, sing, yeah baby, sing. We have enough people dedicated towards earning wages. We need more people here thinking and feeling and trying to really understand what this life experience is about. Oh my God. Wow. Oh my God.

You're a philosopher. Chrissy, I know we don't make any money on this show, but when we do, you don't mind if I just take a couple months, maybe a year or two off, you do the show and let me think about the show and make sure that I understand what's going on here at this show. Sounds fair. I love you. I love you for it. You're my new sister wife.

We might have to get another host in here though, a sister host. Astrid, you and Astrid take over and Jeff and I are going to sit around and mansplain to each other how life's supposed to work. Maybe you should go to mommy for a second. Daddy wants to look at some more toys. And of course, now Danielle has moved in with us as well. Of course. Of course.

Danielle's the one that I don't think is like the brightest of the bunch, but that's just my personal observation. Hey. Hi, baby. That's nice to see you. He's picking her up from work, I guess. Yeah, he's picking her up from her 12-hour shift at the factory so he could drive around her car and get back to her house so we can have sex with her vagina.

Dating Danielle for about eight months, And so we decided to make it official. The four of us were married. I know the world was saying what is going on. The four of us were married, but that's not really true. Come on here. We had a very intimate wedding, local in Denver, and we had all of our close family there. I wouldn't change anything. All our close family there. Really wouldn't change anything. All our close family there.

Really, other people are on board? No. When they say that, they mean friends. Who also- I just chose them as family. Friends who are sticking around because they find your situation entertaining. Right.

Yes. Yes. Shevara decided on the most. Yes. I love how every, by the way, in all of these TLC shows, I've noticed something. When they go out in the world and they interact with somebody, let's say it's Seven Little Johnstons, right?

Or Seeking Sisterwise or 90 Day Fiancé, they have to tell the cashier or the attendant or whoever exactly what they're doing. It's almost like TLC requires them to explain to everybody what's going on to get their reaction to the situation. Watch, I guarantee they're gonna do it Some people if we're out in public they'll look at us and try to figure it out and rationalize the association between us and so so, yeah, we have no problems letting them know that. And that's just when I kiss every one of them. Yeah, that's when I stick my tongue down

each of their throats one by one. Show the people. And I said, hey baby, you want to be my Uranus tonight? You're in my orbit. We're all together. It's a lot of fun for having so many moms. We don't usually have families with different structures. It seems like we usually have like the nuclear family.

I come from a big family too. Oh, do you? Yeah, I've got two siblings. Really? You have three moms also? Yeah. That's nice. Adding more wives.

No, I don't. I'm just trying to get TV time. I'm the next Kurt Cobain. It's part of our family vision. I ideally would want at least four, maybe five different sister wives. There's one in the group who clearly does not like this, and that is the newest one. She has no idea what's coming her way because Nick and the other two are just perfectly fine keeping the wives rolling in.

And I think Danielle, the one that maybe isn't so bright, just joined the family situation has, she's so not into this idea. Danielle Pletka No, that's time away from her. Jared Ranere Of course. She came in and there were already two wives there, but now she doesn't want any additional wives. To be fair to the other people, like, this is what you signed up for.

Danielle Pletka people like, this is what you signed up for. Yeah. Potentially bringing someone into the household. It's kind of hard to picture like someone being with us that is compatible, like how we are with each other. And I'm so used to dating monogamous that honestly, like, when you look look at it it's just such a big adjustment. You think? You think? You think bringing a whole other spouse into an already crowded bed is going to be a big adjustment? Danielle, I see that light bulb going off right above your head. I just don't know if I'm ready for that. So something I'm kind of working on. Nick's like, damn damn no more new pussy. Hey, could I get no new pussy?

That is the new family new family the Sherwood family Ashley and Shane What are you gonna do with daddy tonight Movies and then have some dinner. Now I should say this about this family. It is the wife that is driving the new relationship here. She wants a sister wife because she considers herself bisexual. Lee Knight?

I'm Shane. I'm Ashley. And we're the Sherwoods. We've been together for almost three years, married for two years, and talking about adding another partner into our family for, I would say, maybe two and a half years. I think that we've been. That's a long time to be looking for a new wife. I feel strongly that it's unfair to expect any one person to fulfill 100% of your needs. If it doesn't work for you, that's fine.

If it's not what you want to do, that's fine. If you're a monogamous person, which the significant majority of our world is, that's fine. For some people, it's just not the right fit. I agree with you. A thousand percent couldn't agree with you more. And by the way, you should never expect another human being to have 100% of your needs covered. That's a ridiculous premise in the first place. I'm excited. We're going to get to spend some time together, bud covered. That's a ridiculous premise in the first place.

I'm excited we're going to get to spend some time together, bud. They've got a baby. Yeah. He's cute as a button, too. I know, yes. Jeez, all these kids. I wish I had got my dick clipped. Maybe I could have a 14th child.

Ha ha ha. Junkies. ["Dance of the heat. Ashley and I met through competitive axe throwing. And we actually got to know each other through social media. So we made kind of a plan to meet up at an axe throwing tournament. What were the first words that I told you when I saw you in person? You're so much hotter in real life. And she was. She was just this angel.

Hey. How's it going? Good. It's it going? Good. It's hot in here. But I'm good. Oh, you look happy. Thanks. Are you excited?

Yeah, I'm excited. She's going on a date. Oh, she's going on a date? When you want something or like... Yes, she's going on a date and... By herself? By herself, because she's driving this. Now, I'll share a little bit about this season with you about these two, about Shane.

Shane apparently had a serious cancer scare. He had cancer, he got treatment. And so there is like, this one, I'm almost like, I'm almost on board with this one and I'll tell you why. She's the one driving this. She says, I would like to go explore my sexuality and my need for female companionship. And Shane is supportive of that, though he's still, you know, I don't know, you'd have to watch the whole season to understand Shane. But middle of the season, you realize or you hear that Shane actually had this cancer scare. And part of the reason why they're looking for someone else in the relationship is to make sure that she has a partner if he should pass away.

Something, we definitely are fast trackers. We kind of really officially started dating in September of 2020. And logically that does make sense. Yeah. I mean, listen, if I could pick someone to be with Astrid because I knew I was going to pass away, that, you know, I'd pick somebody without a working penis. But, you know, besides that I'd like to find somebody. I'd pick, I'd pick Hoadley. That's what I'd do. I'd say Hoadley, you don't have a working penis. Jump in there. Jump in there. Jeff, hands off.

Married in September of 21, pregnant in October of 21. And here we are, we have a wonderful, you know, one year old son, we have another on the way. They look like they're doing well for themselves. They've got a big, huge house. They're out on the lake on their boat. Yeah. She's pregnant with a second child. Lauren Ruffin Oh. Lauren Ruffin I am currently six months pregnant. Jared Sussman Oh. Lauren Ruffin Dating while you're pregnant is like, you're doing what? Jared Sussman Yeah, that seems way out of, like, Jesus.

Jared Sussman Whoa. Jared Sussman It was like two months when Astrid couldn't even get out of bed without throwing up twice. I can't imagine being six months pregnant and dating, but I'm also can't imagine being six months pregnant. So, there you go. Lauren Ruffin Very taboo. I'm hoping for someone who can come into our family as another mom for the boys as another... A helper. Yeah, a helper. I'm looking for a nanny to have sex with.

Yes. Me too. I've been all wrong about this the whole time. I know. I'm looking for a sex nanny. Do you have one of those available? Just someone to kind of grow our love that we have for our family and for each other. Somebody who's... How do you grow your love for each... Okay, whatever.

Driven doesn't have to be with a career, but just have some kind of goals. I would say the only hard line or rule is that she's accepting of our children. She has to be open to having Shane's biological child. That's an important thing for us to kind of focus on. Wow. I mean, you're throwing a lot of things on somebody at this point. They already have one kid, she's pregnant with a second one and they want the new person to have sex with Shane Not just another child, but also her. Yeah Right and by the way, if you get to know this storyline a little bit there is no middle ground with these people

You're either like dating them immediately like steady boyfriend girlfriend Whatever or you're not at all involved in their lives they want a girlfriend right away I would think there's an easing in period for most people right yeah like hey, let's let's see what happens Baby come oh god bless america yeah, I know I know All right. What am I wearing? I mean, definitely something cute. So our process right now is...

A great job being a man. Something cute. Something hot. Sounds like me. I know. Honey, what should I wear? Do you like this outfit? Yes.

Do you like this outfit? Yes. Which one's better? Which one do you think is better? I'm not watching your honest opinion. Well, the one you're wearing looks better. Are you sure that she changes into the other outfit? Yes. Which one's better? Which one do you think is better? I watch your honest opinion. Well, the one you're wearing looks better. Are you sure that she changes into the other outfit? Is that I get to know the woman before I introduce her to Shane. I don't want to say like I prioritize

my relationship with her over Shane's, but I don't want to waste Shane's time. So I've been seeing Grace at this point for about a month. How about that one black top with the flowers? Oh, Grace is a funny story. Grace is always a funny story. It is. This whole podcast is a funny story for Bride. Hair and makeup artist that I selected for our wedding.

And after the wedding, that was that. Never talked to or heard from her again. Until we matched on a dating app like a month or two ago. Yeah, that's all. I think that'll make everything look good. And how do you do that on the dating app? Looking for extra wife? Maybe there's an app for that. Oh, there's got to be an app. You know there's an app for that.

Yeah. Yeah. But apparently what I've heard and what I've read, because now I've done a lot of research on polygamy and like, you know, how you, what I've heard is it's mainly men that are on the polygamy dating apps for, the apps for polygamy. It's mainly men. Uh-huh. Sounds good. Perfect.

Going by what Ashley's telling me about Grace, I mean, I can obviously see that they're having these deep, really intellectual conversations really about how this dynamic would work and kind of kids in the future. So I'm actually, I'm really excited to meet her. Oh, okay. So they were dating for like a month. They've been dating for a month and Shane has a month. Okay. To exploring things. Bringing in another partner is definitely something that will make Shane happy.

I mean, maybe the right person will come along tomorrow. Maybe the right person is Grace. Remember when you did our makeup for the wedding? Jared Slauson Yeah. Remember when you did makeup for the wedding? Can you do my vagina for my husband? Nicole Sattler Because you now be our person that was another baby, have sex with both of us, and help with the other kids. Jared Slauson And by the way, you have to move in tomorrow. Nicole Sattler And do my makeup.

Jared Slauson Tell your parents. All right, let's meet Garrick. Okay, Garrick. Okay, you guys read. Having many vaginas, here comes Garrick with his creepy look. Going down to South America to steal young women. It's not technically kidnapping if they agree. The producer is saying, okay, you guys ready to do this again?

Again, because they've been on this show for now three seasons. This again? Time to get going. Okay. We're the Mayorfields and we have been practicing polygamy now for five years. I would say practicing polygamy is a little bit of a stretch. They've had multiple young girlfriends, all of South America descent. Yeah.

Out to the garage, huh? Yeah. I think polygamy is something different to everybody when you ask them. Having sisters and best friends around, it doesn't happen in a monogamous relationship. Oh, you could have a best friend. No, but see, Garrick can't be... You could have a sister.

Yeah, that's right. Garrick cannot be the creepy fucking nut job that he is unless he papers this all. He talks for her. He's the quieter one, but he talks for her. He's the quieter one, but he talks for her. He gives her all her opinions. She is clearly puppeting everything that Garrick says. And listen, I understand that these relationships can happen to anybody. Anybody can kind of be in that relationship where someone is controlling, manipulating, whatever.

But I just find her to be very smart, but she doesn't seem to get it that Garrick is just in this for the pootie tank. That's it. That's all he cares about. Young, hot, South American women. To begin with, we really did not have any idea that this is the lifestyle we would be living. God had plans for us. Yeah, I think we just thought it was wrong and evil because that's how we were raised. At first, yeah. Yeah, at first, until I got a boner for other chicks. And then we found a part of the religion that said it was wrong and evil because that's how we were raised. Lauren D'Alessandro At first, yeah. Jared Sussman Yeah. Jared Lutz At first, until I got a boner for other chicks. Lauren D'Alessandro And then we found a part of the religion that said it was okay. Jared Sussman God literally talked to my dick one night and said, hey,

what about some other pussy? And I don't ignore God. Jared Sussman But we searched the scriptures for years and finally came to a conclusion, we're like, we can't say it's wrong. It's a reflection of Jesus in His church because a lot of the scriptures, the terms where it says He fills you with the Holy Ghost, it's actually a sexual term. Wow, Derek. Oh my God, I hate this guy with the passion I just do. He just gets on my fucking nerves, fills you with the Holy Ghost, fills you with His Holy Host, jizzes right on your back.

He's a come and go, this guy's a come and go way to happen. I just know it. I just know it. That is insane. We searched the Scriptures. For years. For years. By the way, the Bible's like a thousand, two hundred pages long in some versions.

You could search the Scriptures and find anything that suits you. And it's written in not even old English, like old Arabic. It's like you can't decipher some of that shit from Shinola. You really are just interpreting a bunch of words, literally hundreds of thousands of words, and you can twist it any way that you fucking want to. Go ahead, search the scriptures for a common goal at Whole Foods, and you can twist it any way that you fucking want to. Go ahead, search the scriptures for a common goal at Whole Foods and you can probably fit a scripture that gets it right. Hold on, let's take a break and we'll be back with Garret because I want you to focus in on this story. I think this is the best one of all of them. Hold

on, we'll be back. What's up, haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that I mean, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast unless you want to fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can

find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast.com. Bye. All right, we're back reviewing Seeking Sister Wives and we're currently listening to my favorite couple of this entire series, which is Garrick and Danielle. It actually means like sperm going into like intimacy that way. And okay, so if we rewind a little bit, we'll hear that Garak believes that the term filling you with the Holy Ghost means jizzing inside of you. Oh my God, that is crazy. Even scientifically, we've found that, you know, when a man and a woman become one and his sperm goes in the woman,

that his DNA becomes part of her. It actually goes into her brain and she becomes one with him. What? Is that good? Fuck. Chrissy? Scientifically. Scientifically, they have done the study. Garak and Danielle have done the study. And when Garak fills her womb with sperm, then instantaneously her brain becomes Garak. They are one together. Ah, man, if I'd only known this in my early 20s, I would have been a whole different man. Look at her face. She is like, I don't even believe this. We did

not scientifically do any studies. A woman can't transfer her DNA back to the man. Oh my God, look at her! She's rolling her eyes. So it like showed the proof of how Christ is with His church. Like He transfers to us, we don't transfer to Him. What does that even mean? I don't even know. Yeah, he doesn't know. That's a long way of saying I want young, hot American tail.

Yes. South American. South American tail. Well, American tail too. He'll take it anyway, he can get it quite frankly. American. South American tail. Well, American tail too. He'll take it anyway, you can get it quite frankly. But the South American girls are all over the dating apps. It's a beautiful thing when it's done right. We started Seeking in February of 2018,

and then in October of that year, we met Roberta. We really connected with Roberta. Roberta was on the last two seasons, by the way. She backed out of the whole relationship. And just talking online. Once we knew that she was supposed to be a part of our family, Derek and I got divorced to bring Roberta to the U.S. with a fiancé visa.

Do you believe that your marriage is irretrievably broken? Here they're showing them in court. Oh, the divorce proceeding. Yes, which they actually showed in the first, in the second season of Seeking Sister Wives. They showed how Garrick suggested that they get a divorce so he could proceed with the fiance visa to marry this woman, Roberta, and bring her here to the United States. They're showing the video from the divorce court where Danielle is totally bawling. She's very upset about this as she should be. Danielle Smedley Yes.

Nicole Smedley It was hard for me, like, because we went through a lot of struggles and considered, actually, like, truly divorcing a few times throughout our marriage. So, like, I think that... Danielle Smedley Oh, wow. Jared Smedley This is not... Danielle Smedley So instead, I think that- Wow. This is not, it's like- So instead, let's bring a new person in. Yeah, you know, that's like people who think a baby is gonna fix all their problems. It won't, it's just gonna tie you two together

for the next 18 years. If you hate each other now, you're gonna hate each other then, it doesn't really matter. You know, I had to kind of separate those feelings and emotions and realize, yeah, we're not in that same spot we were. I think looking back at some things, you know,

there was definitely some red flags that came up. Roberta said to me one time that she hoped it was just me and her, us sister wives, just the two of us, that there wouldn't be anybody else. And when we tried dating someone else, Roberta was not happy about that. Oh, God, when does it stop? When does it stop? They couldn't even focus it on Roberta? No, they couldn't. They could not focus long enough to get it to the finish line with Roberta before they

started dating other people, because God told Garrick to date other people. Fill the Holy Ghost. Fill her with the Holy Ghost. They didn't have to get intimate, have a date? No, there was no intimacy. A kiss? Yeah. A kiss?

No kisses, friends. Yeah, see, she agrees you shouldn't kiss friends. I think that made me more apprehensive, like if she really wanted it or not. Other family members were skeptical maybe, but that's one of the things that we've really prayed about. Roberta talked about getting a place. Now they're showing her brother. Danielle's brother.

Take it at all, when she's planning on coming or no? She wants to get her mom to her diabetes appointment, blood pressure appointment before she leaves. Like is she really committed to coming out here? We were very concerned. So I was like, we have to make this happen. We need Roberta to, you know, make a decision, move forward.

She's been prolonged in coming here and she's going to lose her visa. Please don't let anything stop you. Danielle was really into it. Yeah, I think Danielle and her really had a bond if you watch the show. Like, Danielle and her were really bonded together. They did seem like best friends, like sister wives, if that, you know, if you can call it that, like sister wives. And in a lot of ways, they did a lot more communicating than her and Garrick did. And it seemed like the only thing Garrick wanted was to get a ring on her finger so he could have sex with her alone and then bring her here to the United States.

That's why he divorced Danielle. Then she broke her heart. How could she? They're showing home video of Danielle absolutely going bananas because- Because that's one of the moments you want to remember. Yeah. That's what you want to give TLC for distribution to millions of people worldwide. Oh my God. Wowez, over dramatic much? Roberto didn't come to America. She just didn't have any intention of coming.

No you scared her off by continuing to sleep with additional women after she thought that you had set up a situation that was safe and welcoming for her and this very odd setup. And then you start fucking additional women and lie about it to her and guess what? She said, you know what? I'm not into it, I'm sorry. It's just, that's not what I'm bargaining for. It's Gerrick's fault.

We have not spoken to Roberta since. I don't think Roberto come back in our lives. I mean, it would be like somebody raising from the dead. Oh, my gosh. I forgot my dad made this. Now they're looking through boxes and they found a pillow. One of those pillows you put the pictures on, and they have a picture of them and Roberta.

I... She's like, I forgot my dad made this. My dad? Your dad's into it? I don't think so. That's what she said. I know. But the dad is like, he's accepting of whatever. He's kind of like us. He's like, ah, whatever, you know, as long as you guys are happy. He made a pillow. He made a pillow with their pictures on it so that they could, you know, so Garrett could dry hump it. How sweet of him. He really loved Roberta.

Yeah, he was going to give it to her when she came, wasn't he? When she got here. Gotta move on. Nope. It was hard after she didn't come. I was depressed and went through it, but I think my pastor really encouraged me. He just, I said, Garret, quit crying over spilled milk. Gotta move on.

The pastor encouraged it? The pastor said, hey, Garret, you gotta find more pussy. I mean, come on, man, there's lots of pussy out there. Don't worry about it, Roberta. Let's get on with the job. Oh my gosh, that was all the stuff we got for when we were gonna pick her up at the airport. The airport, the Brazilian flags, and then welcome to America flags. Well, it's nice to get rid of all this. By the way, that's not a welcome to America flag. It's just an American flag.

I don't think there's such thing as a welcome to America flag. Go forward. I think we were both kind of on different pages a little bit at first. Garak wanted to just dive back into dating right away, and I was like, maybe I should wait a little bit. But, yeah, so... Yeah, so, anyway. Enough with that three years of my life. I just wanted to dive right back into Tinder.

We started dating again and we ended up meeting a girl named Natalia. She's sweetheart. Look at that, Chrissy. Look at that. Prissy. Look at that. Wow, Natalia. You see where this is going, right? Of course. You see where, Garret.

The bikini picture of Natalia. Very voluptuous, very young, very lovely, beautiful South America girl. She's a beautiful girl. She's a little younger, she's only 26. Jeez, jeez. She's very pretty, I think, and sweet. She's very intelligent and smart also. No, I'm sure she is. As the throwaway. Yeah, she also happens to be intelligent. She's very pretty and sexy and I love her ass. She's got great tits and from what I've seen her labia is fantastic.

I masturbate all the time to her. She's smart also sometimes. Talking to Natalia about four and a half months. I'd say about two months it started getting serious where we thought, wow, there's something special here. Well, I got to get going to meet Sam. Well, I got to get going to find more wives. I'll be back later.

Yeah, Samantha should be here any minute, too. Okay. I'm gonna break the news to her about Natalia. So, we have been holding off on telling Sam and Samantha about dating Natalia. Sam and Samantha, it's her brother. Are they kids? No, it's her brother and his wife. It is kind of fresh still,

everything that happened with Roberta, and I'm sure they're going to be a little apprehensive. He'll be nice and feisty, I'm sure. He always is, they both are. Samantha too. A little bit. He's like spunky, sassy, feisty. She's just a little bubbly.

Yeah, he's like your girlfriend, I tell you that. Oh, jeez. He's like your girlfriend, only he has a girlfriend. I know. You know, I feel like Garrick and I usually are kinda on the same page, I think, for the most part. Usually kind of.

Usually kind of, except for when it comes to adding a wife to the family. When it comes to adding a wife to the family, we have our disagreements. Like, I don't think so, and he does. No, of course there comes these fears and worries that are we rushing it, are we moving too fast.

But then sometimes those fears and worries can hinder you at the same time, you know? So, I don't know just a lot of questions and Yeah, yeah Yeah, okay, so there now you've met them I mean there's more to the episode Maybe I'll cut some more clips and we'll do it later on this week But I just wanted everyone to get a, to get like a starter course to Seeking Sister Wives because I'm so fascinated by the show.

Actually it's, it's like one of the only shows I'm still watching on, on TLC. Of course now I've got to go watch it. Yeah, you do. You really do. But started from season one. That's my suggestion. Yeah. There's five seasons.

You'll get through it quickly. Listen, I watched a Better Call Saul in like a day and a half while you were gone. I just watched all of Better Call Saul. I mean, not all of it the last two seasons. What a great show that was. Did you watch Better Call Saul? So brilliant. Great show. That director and that writer is such a master of that. Vince Gillian is such a master of that format. He really is. Yeah. And I don't know if there's any more. Bob Odenkirk played a great role too. One of my brothers said, oh, I don't think Bob Odenkirk's a great actor. And I'm like,

listen, maybe not all round, but he was born to play Saul. He is Saul. He is Saul. And I just think that show is fantastic. Baby Reindeer, I want to talk about that in an upcoming episode. Watch it. Watch Baby Reindeer and when you do, we got to show is fantastic. Baby Reindeer, I want to talk about that in an upcoming episode. Watch it. Watch Baby Reindeer and when you do, we got to talk about it. Baby Reindeer is fantastic. So super excited about our guest this week, Rachel Feinstein. Go to rachel-feinstein.com for more information about her tour, her new special drop this

week. Please go watch it. Big guy, big guy. And what a lovely, lovely human being. I really had a lot of fun with her. Lots more great interviews. Yeah. Lots more great interviews coming up.

I think you're going to be surprised. I think you're going to be surprised at who agreed to come on the commercial break. It has been fun. So I'm going to tell you, tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go. You find out more information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. No need to go anywhere else. You can listen to it and watch it right on the website. You can also get your free TCB sticker, put it wherever you want. Doesn't matter. We call it a bumper

sticker, but it doesn't need to be a bumper sticker. No one has a bumper anymore. No one puts bumpers on things. It's not like 1972 when you put it on a bumper. Go to the website, hit the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address and we'll send you a sticker. If you're going to be, or you are living in Chicago, New York, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, any of those places, let us know if you'd like us to come do a live show there. We certainly would be interested in hearing from you at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, and 212-433-3TCB. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love ya. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, Goodbye.

Until next time, Trissi and I always say, we do say, and we must say, good bye! Thanks for watching!