The Commercial Break - Read The Rules Jackie Weaver!!

Episode Date: February 16, 2021

Bryan and Krissy take a deep dive into the world of online meeting fails and meet some interesting humans along the way! It's a Zoom disaster episode of The Commercial Break! Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO ([phone]) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Facebook Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A little over a year ago, I had the worst stomach ache of my life. I figured it was just the corn dogs I had for lunch. But when I went to the bathroom to relieve myself, a hand came out of my vagina. I was so stunned, all I could think to do was call my boyfriend Corey. I said, Corey, a hand just came out of my vagina. A hand just came out of my vagina. A hand just came out of my vagina. A hand just came out of my vagina.

A hand just came out of my vagina. On this episode of the commercial break. Third thing is my day, I just realized, and that's today, and I haven't done it yet. I know about it, so we'll be doing it. Astrid will get to it. Astrid does everything outside of the studio and we do everything inside of the studio. Which is why we're constantly fucking up everything inside the studio.

Astrid's like, Astrid the other day she was like, just don't touch it. I was like, Instagram, and she's like, just don't, just don't. Just let me, uh. Oh, I handle it. I'm like, do you put hashtags? Do you tweet out do I tweet out do I tweet out from the Instagram? Can I start an Instagram group? Instagram group

You might want to You have a tuna is the driving cat They would remember tuna is the driving cat on Saturday Night Live. It would be like, it would be like this puppet cat driving the car and there would be celebrity and like this out of the life cast members. And they would be like, oh no Tunes is, oh no! This is, the hot guy is like, she's kicked him out. her dad's like don't don't don't don't don't don't He's up in the camera dad. He's like trying to wrestle the camera He's literally like wants to punch somebody through the camera and his dad's like don't don't don't don't set a down

Sun you remember you've been arrested quite a few times in these zoom meetings This is the first Englishman to be arrested during a zoom phone call the first This is the first Englishman to be arrested as soon as I'm found out. The first time I see you. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. We do the beauty by the pop, pop, pop. Woo. Right.

Turk, turk. Do you know what's her name? Cardi B. Cardi B. Yeah. Do you know what card to what's her name? Cardi B? Cardi B? Yeah. Do you do a little cardi B?

I love her. 4? 4? She's 4stee. Who was that cat on the cartoons who used to like purr? Like, oh yeah. It wasn't the pink panther. No, it was the one that was orange.

Was this name pussy foot? Was that his name? Pussy foot the cat? Remember his name pussy foot the cat? Remember there was pussy foot the Am I just totally off base here? Right in and let us know if I'm totally off base Tigger no, yeah, Tigger. Yeah, hi That's a great one sound like a Spanish caterpillar from Allison Wonderland. Ah!

Awww! Awww! That's Spanish cat from Allison Wonderland. Oh, Brian's got mine going a million miles a minute here on another fantastic episode of the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is Chrissy. Hopefully we are hosting the commercial break and Happy New Year!

Okay, so we haven't told you. One you to know that we're thinking about you in and happy new year. Okay, so we haven't told you. One you know, that we're thinking about you in this brand new year. That's two and a half months old. There's a whole year ahead of us. There's a whole 10 and a half months left before we get to 2022.

And hopefully we make it out alive. My mom, God bless her soul, called me the other day. It's informed me that her Christmas present that I had bought her, which was the jitter, called me the other day. It's an inform me that her Christmas present that I had bought her, which was the jitterbug foot, the cell phone. That's the size of this radio board is sitting right in front of me right now, right? It's two feet by two feet.

It's like this big. It's got these huge, but it's a smartphone. But they build it for old people. So it's got like four buttons, right? Just huge and they're like flashing, right? It's a buttons, right? Just huge and they're like flashing, right? It's a call, right? Taxed, email, web. And then there's a, oh, there's a fifth button.

It says emergency. And so they have a 24 hour emergency service that if you need a help, you just press the button. And if they'll call you and ask you what kind of help you need. Right. And, or you just kind of connect with them, right? And then it's on speaker phone and they're like, hello, can I, you know, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Right. And, or you just kind of connect with them, right? And then it's on speaker phone and they're like, hello, can it, you know, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

And then if you press the button and you do not say anything back, they can't hear you, they will call your emergency contact, which happens to be me. So probably once every three days, I get a phone call. This is Jeter Bag Life Services. Are you even Vicki Greene's emergency contact? Yeah, is anything wrong?

Well, no, we just, we got an emergency call but all we can hear is Judge Judy in the background. We've been listening to Dr. Phil on a hold for 15 minutes. You think your mom's okay? Oh yeah, she's fine. She's just probably sitting on her phone. Probably got to stuck under her armpit or something. So my mom calls all in a huff. phone. Hahaha. Probably got to stuck under her arm pit or something.

So my mom calls all in a huff. Hi. Hi. Hi, you got to tell you some really bad. What's going on, Mom? Well, remember that cell phone that I bought you? You bought me for Christmas? Yes, Mom, I remember that cell phone.

Well, I don't have it anymore. What happened to it? Did you give it to one of the people at the residence? Like you did the last cell phone that I bought you? Because the last cell phone that I bought her, she gave to somebody at the residence and the lady had it for two years. And I was paying the bill and I'm like, she's like, well, she doesn't have last cell phone that I bought you, because the last cell phone that I bought or she gave to somebody at the residence and the lady had it for two years. And I was paying the bill and I'm like, she's like,

she doesn't have a cell phone. And I'm like, either you. This does not solve a problem, Mom. One cell phone, minus one cell phone, does not equal two cell phones. Doesn't work that way.

They were paying the bill. I was paying the bill for this lady. You had the cell phone. God bless her. She's very sweet, Jean from Texas. You know Texas, she's from Texas. Yeah. And so I was like, bill for this lady who had the cell phone. God bless her. She's very sweet. Jean from Texas. You know, Texas. She's from Texas. Yeah.

And so I was like, okay, well, so anyways, I got to the jitterbug smartphone. She can text, but the texts are illegible. We've read the text before on here. I won't go through it again. But she calls and she says, yeah, I, well, I don't really know what happened, but I had the cell phone and it was right here in the chair. And then I don't know what happened, but it's gone. I looked everywhere.

And I'm like, where'd you look? In the chair. And I'm like, that's not everywhere, mom. That's in the chair. Well, I checked in the car too, and I don't know, I don't know where it is. So, hold Astrid gets on the phone. Dials up, you know, Jitterbug customer service.

I don't, Jitterbug customer service, how can I help you? Yeah, is there any way to track that phone? Oh, yes, of course we have the technology that at one moment that I'll track the phone, right? So the phone is apparently making a stop at every address around where my mom lives. You know, one, one, two, seven Smith Street, one, one, two, eight Smith Street, one, one, two, night.

This is moving every couple of seconds to a new address and I'm like, oh shit, you know, someone was a stole the phone. So mom, where do you think you last saw the phone? Well, I'm not sure, but here's what happened. I was sitting here and I had to sell phone in my hand and then I went and I was cleaning up the apartment. So I had a garbage bag and I was going around cleaning

up the apartment and I don't remember what happened after that. And then I put two and two together. I'm like, that's the fucking garbage truck moving from house to house smashing her phone up along the way. I'm like, well, mom, you're not gonna get that back. You're gonna have to get a new one. Can you get it for me? Do you think they can put all the phone numbers back?

And I'm like, oh, yeah, no problem. You know, they got that covered. And what about the text messages? I'm like, yeah, I'm, you know, maybe those. And then she has to see, ask of this. So my mom says, I was in the middle of writing Irving a text message. Do you think they can save that for me? Oh my gosh. Oh, I should have never gotten my mom that damn cell phone. It's called nothing but trouble. It's like we get random texts in the middle of the night. It'll say like hi honey

Judge Judy coronavirus 27 47 couch Food Twinkies guitar saxophone I'm like mom, we're just trying to write there. Hey, why don't you know I love you? Oh, thanks I got two Twinkies in the saxophone Yeah, that was the code that's it's what I got. Yeah, that was the code. That's it. I love you. That's it.

T-C-B. High-er-Lifix. We're like a picture of legs and something. Yeah, I have a D-Code. And like, there has to be, you know the code talkers, the wind talkers, the guys who would break, the Indian guys who would break the codes in World War II. I feel like I need one of those gentlemen

before they all die off to help me understand my mom and her jargon because it's completely illegible. And she's texting. The legible should only really count when you're talking about words. But anyway, tcbpodcast.com is where you go to find out more about Chrissy and I. You can read all the show notes and you can find all of our audio and video episodes up there, subscribe to our YouTube channel, if you don't mind, if you'd like to watch,

if you'd like to see our smiling faces, I am one handsome motherfucker. I don't know about it. I don't know how anybody feels about Chrissy. You are Brian, very handsome. At the commercial break is where you can follow us on Instagram, lots of great content that you won't get anywhere else on Instagram.

And there's lots of people, not to say lots of people, but there's, you know, we've doubled our Instagram account in a little less than a month and a half. And I think that that's a really great accomplishment. Yes, it is. We focused on it. Well, we focused on it. We told you to go out there.

You responded in kind. We really appreciate it. If you'd like to get... The third day is my day. I just realized and that's today and I haven't done it yet. I know we're about to ask it. I'm going to get to it. Ask her to get to it. Astrid will get to it.

Astrid does everything outside of the studio and we do everything inside of the studio. Which is why we're constantly fucking up everything inside the studio. Astrid's like, Astrid the other day she was like, just don't touch it. I was like, Instagram, and she's like, just don't, just don't, just let me, I'm like, do you put hashtags? Do you tweet out? Do I tweet out? Do I tweet out from the Instagram? Can I start an Instagram group?

She's like, no, you can't start an Instagram group. If you ask her, thank you, Astrid. We love you and Gustavo too. Gustavo's on it. Gustavo, he's in Venezuela. Good old Gustavo. Good luck getting out of Venezuela, but we love you. We hope the plane starts flying in the now soon. So we can see you again. And if you're into the clubhouse thing, which we'll get to in a further episode, but it's

the new hot friend. Yeah, everyone's on clubhouse. Elon Musk, Kanye West was on there last night, broke the application when I was trying to conduct my business on Conduct business no one could get into the room Mark Zuckerberg was on there for like 10 minutes and then this morning that he announced that he's gonna do a clubhouse type thing in Facebook Oh, yeah, so you know It was fun fun while it lasted now. It's all fucked up by Mark Zuckerberg

Just leave it alone, Mark. I honestly thought he wouldn't get into the clubhouse. Clubhouse for those of you that don't know. We've talked about this before on the show, and maybe some of you don't know because it's only available on Apple phones right now. So if you don't have an Apple, you probably have no idea what we're talking about.

No jitterbug on here. It is a application where people can talk to each other in real time like a live chat room, but it gives you the functionality to be a moderator. You open up a room, and then you can bring people up on a virtual stage, and when they raise their hand, and then you talk about a subject.

A lot of stuff on Clubhouse right now revolves around business. There's a lot of podcasters that are doing podcasts related type stuff. There's a few meet and greets where you can meet, oh, this isn't a do a singles one last night, kind of like a dating show. It was really good, it was very entertaining actually. And then there's a couple of, you know,

no nicks out there who we're talking about, you know, overthrowing the government and all that shit. But I think they're doing a good job of stamping down on the trolls. But anyway, so Clubhouse, one of the cool things about Clubhouse is that you can interact with people in real time. So Chrissy and I, at some point, we're not ready to make that announcement yet, but at some

point, we'd like to do bonus episodes live recorded on Clubhouse, which you can do. We just have to get the permission to, we just have to let you know that we're recording you and then we can go ahead and record whoever comes up on stage. So if you want to follow us at Brian Green, that's BRYAN, G-R-E-E-N, at Brian Green, on Clubhouse if you're there, and at TCB Chrissy, Chrissy's with a K, 2S's, and a Y. And my minus will just spell the whole thing out. K-R-I-S-S-Y! I might as well. Yeah, there's a lot of different ways you can go with Chrissy.

I use the end. There's a C-H, you know, the whole nine yards, but that's not the way that Chrissy spells her name. Even though Siri will want her, you just spelled the name that way. So follow us on Clubhouse 470-5848-449, is where you can text us or leave us a message. We've gotten some messages. We appreciate it. You'd like to be a part of a future episode playing on our games episode. You can text us or. I like the games. Yeah, the games are fun. So we're doing once a month.

And also be a supporter of the commercial break. We would really appreciate it. And we're so grateful to those who are already doing it. If you'd like to be a financial supporter of the commercial break, you can go to patreon.com slash the commercial break. And for a couple bucks a month, cost of a Starbucks cup of coffee,

you'll get four additional episodes every month. Those are full length, fully baked episodes with all the fun and drama that you expect from your commercial break host. Yes. Right there. Okay, so now let's get into it. Yes.

I, yeah, after the seven and a half minutes announcements. I know. And I'm sorry, we just have to go through them. I don't know any other way to communicate it. It's just the best way. I could put it at the end of the show, but I don't think many people listen to the end of the show. So, I mean, you know, once we stop talking,

don't they usually turn it off? Don't you think? I do. Yes. On most of these. So, great things happening to the commercial break. Just gotta let you know. We've just been growing like weeds over here. Growing like little pre-pubescent weeds.

Over here. Like cannabis stock.-pubescent weeds. Over here. Like cannabis dogs. Yeah. The audience is growing week after week at an incredible rate. We're so grateful to everyone who's listening. We're finding ourselves all over the charts, which are the like kind of the neils and ratings of podcasting. And we don't talk about it a lot because we used to talk about it.

We first started. We were on the charts, number 872. But it just started to sound a little bragadocious. Yeah, we got to listeners. It just started to sound a little bragadocious, but I bring this all up to let you know that with all of this newfound momentum has come a lot more podcast related stuff.

Like I've been asked to speak at Podfest and Podfest Asian and a couple different things and now we're having guests And so I'm finding myself having a lot of like face-to-face virtual meetings Which is not what I usually do in my normal business. It's usually all phone calls So I'm having these zoom meetings all the time, right? Yeah, and so Chrissy and I were talking the other day getting ready for the show and she pointed out this fucking hilarious video that came out. If you haven't seen this, you have to Google this. I'll put a link on the show notes.

Or Gustavo, we'll put a link on the show notes. I say Torres Strait. There is a guy, a lawyer, who was in a conference with a judge and another attorney about something. He's like a local prosecutor. And so he was on this Zoom call for this case that they were discussing. And as the zoom comes on What you see is you see the judge and you see the lawyer see one of the lawyers and then there's a there's like four pictures Right and one of them is a cat there's one of them is a display illegal disclaimer and then there is a cat

The fun like but not a real cat like a picture of a cat with eyes that move and a mouth that moves like it's it's the human But it's a filter it's a filter. It's a filter. So the guy figure out how to turn it off. He cannot figure out how to turn it off. And it is the funniest visual you have ever seen. Really honestly playing the clip is doing it. No justice, but I'm going to do it anyway.

Let me play the clip. And because I think what he says here, we'll get to it here. Let me play. Let me play. Okay, you ready? Mr. Pantan, I believe you have a filter turned on in the video settings.

You might want to, we're trying to, can you hear me, Judge? As he, as he is playing, as he is saying, can you hear me, judge? What is happening is that his little cat mouth is moving and the eyes are moving back and forth.

Okay, hold on, I'm gonna play it again. I believe you have a filter turned on in the video settings. You might want to... Oh, thank you. Thank you want to, uh, Oh, you have a tune says the driving cat. Does anybody remember to insist the driving cat on Saturday night live? It would be like, it would be like this puppy cat driving the car and there'd be celebrity and like the sound of the live cast members.

And they'd be like, oh no, Tuneses? Oh no! Can't when I always drive off a clip and the car would explode. Tuneses, you're going too fast. It's Tuneses, the driving cut. That's what I think of when I see this video. Didn't you hear my judge? Could you hear me?

Could you see my little cat lips moving? It's my tail wagon. Could you hear me? Can you see my little cat lips moving? It's my tail wagon. I can't see. I'm super happy to be here. Be partying in the background. Ah, I Can hear you. I think it's a filter and it is and I don't know how to remove it. I've got my assistant here. She's trying to but This is a two-person operation It's zoom calls a two-person operation. I mean what was going on to where he's like Betty Me mean what he sounds like he's in the back of the room like I

Can hear you I can hear you drove it to me. I'm not a cat. At one point he says we can still proceed. Yeah, we can still proceed the other two. The other lawyer is like, I don't think so. Yeah. Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, I'm prepared to go forward with it. I'm here live. It's not I'm not a cat. I'm prepared live, I'm not a cat. I'm not a cat. I'm not a cat. I'm not a cat. I swear to God, Judge. I know it looks like it, but I'm not a cat. Don't be alarmed. I know given all under indications otherwise. I am not a cat. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. That's

what I would have done if the cat filled the cave up. I would have been like, I'm not a cat. That's probably what he was doing at some point. And then he couldn't figure out how to turn it off. I saw an interview with him afterwards. I did. Yeah, he was really quite frankly. He had a great sense of humor about it. He was like, well, I just don't know how to work these things. I'm 92 years old.

I'm just a local prosecutor in a nobody town. And he said, but when I started getting phone calls from Google and Facebook, and I was like, you got phone calls from Google and Facebook, I think you meant you got calls about Google and Facebook. I don't think Google calls you. All right, this is Google. We've been made aware of the cat situation. We like it by maverick. Well, we know you're not a cat,

but we'd like to pay you to be our cat-based sponsor. We just like to be a cat-based spokesman. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, But but okay, this is this is really I love the part where he says it's me judge. I'm not a cat I'm here. I'm not a cat like I like somebody would have imagined that he would like wow Crazy that's nuts. I didn't think that could happen 2021's a really we I thought 2020 was a stranger But Bob the prosecutor turned into a cat right there in front of my Well, we know you're not a cat

Oh my god But so this got me going down the rabbit hole as it does right as Brian you know Avoid responsibility in this one. It just spends hours on the internet Troling for additional videos that are as funny as the CAD videos. Now, the CAD video is pretty fucking funny. Yeah, it is. But it got me thinking, I've had a few flood ups in Zoom calls, or I don't get into it,

but there's a couple of times where I've done things that are embarrassing on Zoom phone calls for getting that the camera was on. But hopefully not a tube in. I didn't pull a tube in. A tube in. But I've taken off my glasses or you know, I've been wearing sweat pants

with a butt-up shirt and then I kind of move myself and I can see the sweat pants, but everyone does that I think. I don't know if anyone really puts on pants to go to a Zoom call. And especially not Jeffrey Tuben. That cat didn't have any pants on either. That's right.

But I found a couple of Zoom calls, a couple of live meetings, things that were being recorded via the internet or broadcast via the internet, not necessarily Zoom calls, that are funny. Would you like to listen? Yes. Okay, let's get right into it.

Here's the first one. This is the Hanford and Hanford, England. They are having a town hall meeting. Now, there's a lot of drama in Hanford. Apparently, at the average age of the citizen in Hanford is 206. Oh. And but they're all able to make the Zoom phone call. And there's like 12 of them on this phone call. And apparently, there's a lot of drama with the city council in Hanford or the town council as they call it. So let's just get right into it. And I'll comment as we go along. I'll kind of fill in on what's going

right here. Here we go. This is this is a good one. Hello again. I thought it wasn't good to get in then. When do we plan to start? When do I pause to stop? Instantaneously, there's an asshole in the group, right? And I'm going to do a plan to start. By the way, this guy is eating at sandwich. You can see the video that he's like, man, eating a sandwich or something. And he's like, like, lick, he's like putting his finger in his lips and it's Gross everyone here is 90 except for one guy and I'll point that guy out to you Some third guy comes into the meeting and instantaneously he says fuck off for the guys when we're gonna start

One guy says what are we gonna start the other guy goes fuck off to the guys when we're gonna start. When guys says, when are we gonna start? The other guy goes fuck off. I already love hampered. Hampered's my favorite town. Start any moment, Chairman. I think it's perhaps helpful just to go through the same things as we went through before, which is just to encourage people to switch off their microphone. Because it just reduced the background. She's basically pissing in the wind right here because no one is going to turn off their microphone

in the next three minutes. Listen. And we be assured that we won't be thrown out of the meeting like we were last time. As long as we have reasonable behavior from everyone, no one would be excluded from meeting. I was thrown out of the meeting. Is that the same guy? I was quite right. Quite rightly. So fourth asshole comes in here.

So, but the first Bob, the guy with the food and his teeth says, oh, it could be a shed that I'm not going to be thrown out of the meeting. I was thrown out of the meeting last time. And the lady who's conducting the meeting says, you know, whose her name is Susan, right? She says Susan says, well, if you can behave yourself then yeah, and then and then the other guy go the other guy And then he repeats again. I was there's no one else on the meeting and the other guy goes That's your fucking asshole I wish I had the lat I looked by the by the way, for the first meeting, I couldn't find it.

So was Councillor Brutum. Please, let the... This is what he was saying. It's rough this meeting. I will have to remove you from it. You can't. I guess I can. So now, I'm just, I'm just Philinion.

I'm giving you some color commentary here. Now there is a... now comes in the fifth, but there's two guys, an old gentleman who looks like his son who's probably in his 50s, right? And he is hot, man, he is like, he's like right up in the camera. And he's like, you can't do that! You can't just do that!

Right? And she's like, can everyone behave themselves? Now, remember the first asshole who had food in their tea his his teeth watch listen to what happens it's only the chairman who can remove people from a meeting that's the hot guy you have no authority here Jackie weaver no authority at all wow you just kicked him out I

Take look at this authority. This authority boom. I kicked out So and so now she's already kicking people out Jackie not Susan. I know Susan, but it's not Jackie It's a kid. Keep on going. No, don't don't she's kicked him out. Don't This is the hot guy is like she's kicked him out. His dad's like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, to be arrested during a Zoom phone call for threatening people. This is a meeting called by two counsellors. Illegally. No, the car this was device chairs here. I take charge. The stunning orders. Read them and understand.

Read them and understand. This guy is so hot. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She parting fence. I mean I looked at hands mouth or hands hands forth or whatever this places It's in the middle of fucking nowhere England. I mean like do you have Pastures and pubs that's all they have yeah, so whatever they're fighting about is clearly inconsequential and the grand scheme of things Jackie's a bitch She don't know shit I've lived in hands foot for 75 years Jackie swoops into town and all the signal hell breaks loose all I want is the ability to drink my pint and beat my wife. Where is the chairman? In the spring orders, it now reverts to him. Where's the chairman gone?

To start a more rapid, like to elect a chairman for this meeting. You don't have to elect a chairman. There's a chairman already installed. The chairman of the council. Councillor Birkel, we've been through this. What are you talking about? You don't know what you're talking about Now here's the eighth woman the one who's trying to make peace of them It's just calm down a little bit We're getting a niggas in a flop

Now the English people talk we're gonna get niggas in a fluffer What doesn't everybody's why don't we all have sugar off? Nick is in a fluffer. Now the English people talk. We're gonna get Nick is in a fluffer. What's up, everybody? Why don't we all have sugar off? Yeah, fuck off. That's a bad word. You say fuck off, like fuck off. Yeah, yeah, don't say that in England. Really?

Yeah, if you ask them to bugger off, you're gonna, you know, the police don't even carry guns there. They're gonna be like, stop. Or I'll say stop again. That's my favorite joke. By the way, that's not my joke. I think that's like some comedian back in the 80s made that joke, but I met one of the

first jokes I ever remember hearing that really made me interested in comedy was that joke. He was telling a joke about how they do carry guns now, but they used to not carry guns. They only had batons, right? Just the regular street beat cops. And he made that he had this whole joke about the English police and he's like, I mean, really, what are they going to do? Say stop and then stop. Or I'll say stop again. So it started at all for you. Jackie Weaver, I find that the person on Alec Bruton's Zoom is being very disrespectful to everybody.

Coming from you. Coming from you. That's a high compliment. Wow. The rainbow rules. This meeting is like a bunch of old people. It's from the start.

My dad used to be on an HOA board. He was like the 808. I think. Oh my god. There's a worst. So there was like 20 people in his neighborhood down in South of Atlanta, and they're all very nice houses. There were like 20 houses in the neighborhood.

So there's only so many people to go, I mean, how much drama could you cause, right? And so people were like, oh, Bill, you're a level headed guy. You should be the, you know, whatever. So he's like the vice president. He gave that about six months and he gave it. I said, I don't fucking care whether or not you mo your damn lawn. It doesn't matter to me. I'm not going to get involved.

And people were like going crazy on email like, you know, I can't buy tell them to read the rules. Tell them to read the rules. You know, that was just talking about Jackie, Jackie Weaver. Jackie Weaver. Jackie Weaver's a good content you ask me Jackie weaver you go down as a sheep trading it's honest bugger off. that sounds good. Wow. Can I propose John Smith please? That is by the way that is a pure English name. John Smith. John Smith. That's true. Only in England you first point is to apologize to Jackie. Welcome to hand

forth. Well, it's not lively in hand for indeed. It is. So that's the meeting goes on forever. And there's a lot of other drama. But I just want to give you a snippet of what was going on. I think it's great. Are you ready for another one? There's more. Wait. drama, but I just want to give you a sneak of the book is going on and I think it's great. Are you ready for another one? There's more. Wait, there's more. Oh, I am. But wait, there's more.

There's more. Here's the town hall somewhere and somewhere. I don't even know where this town hall is, but here's a video that's been going around for a couple of years and I just love this one. This is classic town hall behavior. Take a listen in. Listen. Question.

And present. Yes. I moved to an emergency class. Second heading emergency class. And discussion. Mayor. Would you like to? Was that the mayor? And no one does. They're all like, that's to me sounds like a sound effect,

but it was real because the whole audience was like, it can't be. Can you imagine being in a town home eating and just saw the sudden? It's just somebody just breaks out and gas. Hold on. Hold on. One more time. Question. Man, present. Yes. I moved to Andy Merchand Claus. Second, adding emergency clause. And a discussion. Mayor. Would you like to?

Would you like to have a discussion? Man, present. Yes. I moved to Andy Merchand Claus. Second, adding emergency clause. Second, adding the emergency clause. And a discussion. Yes, sir.

Mayor. Would you like to? Was that the mayor's response? I'd talk about it's possible. It's like an ugly, murdery cause. And a discussion, is it mayor? Did you like to? Was that the mayor's response? I'd talk about it for breakfast. Question. Yes. The mayor just blew wind, right? I don't think it was the mayor just to be fair.

I don't know who it was. I watched the video a number of times and I'm looking for the sign. Like the facial sign. I was like, I did a relief. Yeah, I did a full forensic sign of the guy. Like the facial sign. Yeah, I was like, I did a relief. Yeah, I did a full like forensic analysis of the clip, but people they just start cracking up. The agreement for architectural day lighting.

Okay, but wait, same meeting, same meeting, listen. This is, listen closely closely revolving long that comes from. Community development but grant money. We've been working on this with the state for literally months. It's been passed. Oh my god, it happens again. Like, I don't, I think there's a guy, there's a big roton guy that's next to her that he's

just laughing so hard and I think it's him because I think, you know, he figures, just laugh as laugh loud. You know, let's, let's, you know, let's take the commercial break to the next level of comedy. Sometimes when you're passing wind, you make a loud sound. You know what I'm saying? You're like in a loud bar, far to all you want. No one's gonna hear it, you just go ahead. But when you're in a quiet place,

you just gotta raise your voice. I was like, oh, when you're sitting up. You'll be like, yeah, you're like, you on a first date and you're like, yeah, that's great. Yeah, I'm into that's cool movie. I like it. I like it. You just scream at me.

Yes, I did. I feel so much better. All right, but the fun is not over, Chrissy. Brian has dug deep. Ready? Oh. Here comes one of my favorite clips. And I honestly, I want you to listen to two things. Not only listen to what happens that's so funny,

but I want you to listen to the lady who is trying her best to keep it together while she gives her presentation and how perfectly her presentation fits with what's happening in the background. Are you ready? Yes. And Mrs. Mischandra.

Thank you, Mayor. I'll try and keep this brief. I won't belabor all the details. I'm sure most of you remember Mr. Guest's presentation from last time and I imagine he's going to hit some of the highlights here in a minute. Oh, he's going to hit the highlights here in a minute. This is a way. And Mrs. Mischandra.

Okay. What's happening, by the way, is Miss Chandra is about to give her speech and the one of a very older gentleman, who's probably in his, I'm going to guess early 70s, late 60s, who's a little bit bigger. A little bit more. Another town hall. He's another town hall being broadcast live out to the world. Yeah. He's a, he's a roton guy. He gets up from the day.

Yes. Where the 12 people are sitting and he's walking behind Miss Chandra going wherever he's going right No, Mrs Miss Chandra. Thank you mayor. I'll try and keep this brief. I won't The labor all the details. I'm sure most of you remember Mr. Guest's presentation from last time and I imagine he's gonna hit some of the highlights here in a minute but I do want to Just say that if your life has not already been touched by an antibiotic resistant disease, it probably will be at some point. My mother has fought a MRSA infection. I have a high school friend. He's three-year-old son almost

died from C-Diff and he will be dealing with the consequences of that for the rest of his life. But the thing is that these deadly infections, there's something we can do about it, and what we can do is call on a governmental representative that are higher up the chain of... Oh my God, somebody's going to back this. The guy's pee. He's got his back his pee.

He's got his microphone on hot. Listen to the presentation, the lady is making more. Oh, oh no, I'm so sorry here. Wait, I run through it again. I press the wrong button, but Chrissy, this is like some of the funniest stuff. So this guy basically, he goes and he starts peeing while she's giving her a presentation. It's hard to hear it first,

but you can hear the bathroom door that's closing, and then all of the sudden you start hearing the peeing, and she obviously picks up on this, and she's just like, she cannot stop laughing. But for some reason, the presentation that she's giving is just like a laugh a minute. It's like she's giving that she's actually like, she's making the call, like the play by laugh a minute. It's like she's giving that she's actually like, she's making the call like the play by play of him

is saying. Okay, listen again, listen really closely in the background. Your son almost died from C-diff and he will be dealing with the consequences. By the way, C-diff sounds bad. Yeah. But the thing is that these deadly infections, there's something we can do about it.

And what we can do is call on a government representative that are higher. And ask for action at the federal level. I am aware of Mr. Brainer's concerns that he raised last time and there would be instances where I actually Mr. Brainer's the guy of the bill. I'm aware of the concerns of Mr. Brainer's praising prostate. It's prostate. Frost date This is frost a it's frost a diserging him to be three to seven times an hour agree that we should take action locally first, but There are not any KFO operations in Georgetown So just say it within the city limits

Would be an empty gesture flash Would be an empty gesture Let me get empty just here I'm gonna empty bladder So So now he comes back Don't know any boundaries. So a state by state of,

he pissed all over the toilet and said he knows no boundaries. My god, my cheeks are dead. I would just mean that the other guys that's next to him is like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Your mic was all gone away. That's it. That God it wasn't number two. Yeah. Did you go number one or number two? There'd be clusters of disease that would go across the border. Anyways, I'm gonna stop talking now.

I can't know you can't know. Acceleration and approve this resolution. Thank you for serious consideration. The more. Oh my God, Chrissy, I can't take it. That guy, that is one of the funnier ones. Yeah. That is one of the funnier ones. And I think that's classic.

I wanted to do the farting preacher. Have you ever heard, I told you about the farting preacher. He told me about the farting preacher. But I think that's classic. I wanted to do the farting preacher. Have you ever heard the I told you about the farting preacher? You told me about the farting preacher. But it just doesn't translate. It just doesn't translate so well on, um, on audio. That's the only reason why I didn't want it. I didn't want to put that in there. Have you ever had an embarrassing zoom moment? You've ever seen an embarrassing zoom moment? I just had an embarrassing zoom moment a couple weeks ago. But what happened? Did you walk in and you're under arrest? There's a thing. He did.

You walked in and Jeff. He was like on this really important Zoom, but he didn't tell me. Yeah, you got to let people know you're in Zoom. He got to let the Zoom, the household know. Hey, listen, we're all learning, but you have to let people know. The Zoom phone call. No, I walked out. And I was, I was like, if I I underwear my hair, I was kind of everywhere.

And I just bebopped into the room. I was like, I'm like, I'm going to get a little snack. I was sitting Jeff, because, like, during the sickle day, he started to signal me and then he just did a tilt. And he's computer, so I can see that there were like 12 people That was like that one I think you've seen it too with the the boy he walks in He's like on his phone he walks in the guy. Oh yeah, and then he like Back so that's on the that was on the election coverage I actually had that up on the phone, he walks in the guy. And then he like, he goes to the back so I.

That's on the election coverage. I actually had that up on the Instagram page. Go to at the commercial break on Instagram and you can scroll down and you can see it. That's the funniest thing about the election coverage was this kid. He walks in and he's like, he's texting somebody and he walks in and to look on his face is like,

oh, holy shit. That was my look. Later I was like, Chef, dammit, you've gotta tell us. So now every time it's, I'm on a Zoom. I mean, I gotta be honest with you. I don't, in some Zoom calls, I just turn off my camera altogether, like especially if I can hide in the background

and they don't really need to see my face because I am so afraid of doing something or someone or some kind of incident happening that I would be too embarrassed about so I don't do it. I mean obviously I'm not pulling a tube and I'm not you know whacking off during the middle of it. I mean that's the ultimate. He lost his job. He's no longer employable because he was whacking off during a Zoom phone call. And listen, I understand that it's probably was it

may have been traumatizing to others, but I think probably more than anything it was traumatizing to Jeffrey Tuban, who just thought they were on a break. They thought they were on a break. They were on a break, but he left his camera on the fence. And just went to another computer and started dutling, dutling, it's dutling.

Oh my God, I liked him too a lot as a commentator before that. He was good. I mean, he was really good that guy. And one more time for Poster. I believe you have a filter turned on in the video settings. You might want to. I am cutting that up to be like a sound effect for our show. At the beginning of every show, we're going to go have a new year and then just have him go, I'm not a cat. Sir, I'm here. I'm not a cat. We're here. Really? Here we can proceed. Do you mind what, did you hear my judge?

I can hear you, huh? I can see. I can see you. you're just a cat. If you were turned into a cat, we hear cat-o-matic are here to help your problems. Do you ever wake up as a cat? I can see ya. We get cat away here to help your problems.

We understand what it's like to wake up as cat happens to the best of us. You're woken up with the tail. Do you find yourself purring licking your paws in the middle of a zoom call? We at Catawayr have the perfect solution. Our three day Catawayr intensive take all that Catawayr. You'll be a human before you know it I'm here judge I can hear you I think it's a filter it is You can't be a cat. It's Sissy right in the handbook. Right the roof, Tucky Weaver. I don't know how to remove it.

I've got my assistant here. She's trying to but Becky. Oh, Becky. Now. Now. Now it's me. I just got the cat. It's me. He just got the cat. It's me. He waves his hand and the paw raises up.

He's like, me, me, me, me. I'm prepared to go forward with it. I'm prepared to keep going. I'm here live. It's not that I'm not a cat. I just loved it. He had to say that. I just loved it somewhere in his brain.

He had to tell the judge he wasn't a cat. He thought that it's a possibility that other people thought he was a cat. Yeah. And meanwhile, come your life. Meanwhile, yeah. Meanwhile on Houndsmortz or wherever. You can't be a cat, Jackie Weaver. It's not possible. There's no cats allowed. Oh my God. Oh, this is, oh man. Yeah. I will find more funny Zoom clips. I promise because funny Zoom clips are fun.

They are. That's it. That's that. That's that. Funny Zoom clips are funny Zoom clips. Wow. Well, what else can we say? I think that's it.

I've got, by the way, in a couple episodes, I've got more Frank Genaro, whatever that guy is. Oh yeah, I'm in the middle of cutting up one of his videos. He is just on fire. That guy has six subscribers and he's just making highly produced content for his over 50 crap. So stay tuned for that. Well, what else can we say, Chrissy? We've had fun with the Zoom calls today. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-b Can I not be kicked out this guy? He just kicked him out. I already kicked you out.

I love Jackie Weaver. Yeah, I know Jackie Weaver is wheels all the power. She's not even a chairman. She's just called a conference. Everybody show up. Well, don't show up if you don't think she's the chairman. What do you do, a chairwoman? What are you doing?

TCPPodcast.com is where you go to read all the show notes, connect with Chrissy and I, and you can watch and listen to all of our episodes Straight from our website. It's a fantastic piece of technology No cats involved. I promise We need a cat on there at the commercial break is where you find us on Instagram at Brian Green be our YNG our EN follow me on Clubhouse Because in on upcoming shows and an upcoming special bonus episode We're actually going to do a live clubhouse.

We're going to record and interact with you, the listener. So if you're on clubhouse, join us. If you're not on clubhouse, we'll record it for you in-play it for you. Yeah, that's the best that I can do. I can't control what clubhouse does. I've got four invites right now. I got two. Oh, I got it. It's two.

Yeah, you know what? DMS on our Instagram. Yeah. If you want to invite DMS on Instagram, at the commercial break, DMS, you'll have to send us your phone number, but I'll send you an invite. I don't mind doing that. I don't know what else I'm gonna do with it,

but quite frankly, I think I might have more than four invites actually, because I've been on there for a while. I think you last night, not already having replenished. Oh, yeah. They're just handing them out because they're trying to grow the application big.

Maybe they should figure out how to not make the app crash with Elon Musk on there before they can hand out more invites. But anyway, that's that 470-5848-449. That's in the United States. Put a one before it. Remember standard text messaging rates will apply internationally. So yeah, don't yell at us. That's your carry or not us.

And what else can I say? Patreon.com forward slash the commercial break. If you would like to be a financial supporter of ours We'll give you lots of additional content in return for free episodes live shows and access to our little goodies Yeah, and acts and first access to our in-person Shows when we start doing them after the pandemic settles. I mean, I think by the end of the year We'll at least get one live in-person show. I think so too. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited.

Yeah, whatever. Anyway, that's all I got to say to you. I love you, Chris. I love you, Brian. Until next time. Bye. Bye. The commercial break Friday episodes can now be found on Patreon at patreon.com.

Slans, the commercial break. New episodes are available on YouTube every Tuesday. Visit www.tcbpodcast.com for more information on all of our contents. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram or leave us a message at 470-584-8449. The commercial break is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtzlin. The commercial break, tune it in and ride it out. you