The Commercial Break - Red Flag Rodeo!

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

Episode #641: Bryan & Krissy dive into the plethora of red flags that our listeners sent in. These are RED red. Gladiator II Chicken Fry drama Red Flags! Being different around friends/family Producer Christina supports you, Story #2!!!!! Bryan’s “d-d-d-d-duhhhh” Polyamory red flags They = nonbinary A rainbow red flag! Guru BG & Yogi Hoadley Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is sponsored in part by Zbiotics pre-alcohol. Let's face it, most of us are not 21 years old partying like we used to. We have to make the choice between a great night or a great morning after. At least that's what we thought, Chrissy and I, until we tried pre-alcohol. I don't drink a whole bunch anymore and I was on the fence about this one. But a few weeks ago, Astor and I went out for some drinks for my birthday. The pre-alcohol was sitting on the counter and I decided why not give it a try. And let me tell you, pre-alcohol is the real deal.

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I kept hearing about pre-alcohol and I wondered what is it actually like. Now that I've tried it, I get why everyone is talking about it. And with their GMO technology, Zbiotics is continuing to invent probiotics that will help the everyday challenges of modern living. So go to zbiotics.com slash commercial to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use that code commercial at checkout. Zbiotics is backed by a 100% money back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they will refund your money, no questions asked. All you have to do is head to zbiotics.com slash commercial and use that code commercial at checkout for the 15% off. Thank you Zbiotics for being a sponsor of a wonderful morning after drinks

and of the commercial break. Toronto. There's another great city that starts with a T. Tampa, Florida. Fly to Tampa on Porter Airlines to see why it's so tea-riffic. On your way there, relax with free beer, wine, and snacks, free fast streaming wifi, and no middle seats. You've never flown to Florida like this before,

so you'll land in Tampa ready to explore. Visit flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. Hey Chrissy, best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's the holiday season and a lot of times, podcasts like ourselves will take off, but not us, Chrissy. We have bills to pay and miles to feed.

So we are going to be producing brand new episodes of the commercial break this entire holiday season and I thought it was important to let our audience know jingle jingle all the way jingle jangle your dingle dangles stick with the commercial break and stay tuned for the 12 days of tcb our first ever 12 days of that's right december 13th through christmas day brand new episodes every day is me on the scale of caring. I am at zero Therefore since negative caring is impossible or rather is simply caring of another sort love and hate being different sides of the same coin Etc etc. I couldn't care less On this episode of the commercial break I

Do agree with Chrissy on this one. You will learn as you go along. It's not like I'm here to tell you that I'm some wise, like I'm the third wise man. Wait, you are Guru. Guru GVG. That's true. I am. It's true.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. It's so 30 in the morning! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris here. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Thanks for joining us. I'm reading an interesting story. You know, we were talking about how the one time I met Denzel Washington at like a bar. And I remember distinctly from that interaction, now that I'm reading this story, that Denzel was drinking wine, wine. Like I just remember now it's like standing out to me

that I remember thinking that was odd, that he was, maybe not odd. I think it was red. But I remember the wine glass. I just remember now it's like standing out to me that I remember thinking that was odd. That he was maybe not odd. I think it was red. Okay. But I remember the wine glass. I just remember this distinctly. And now I'm reading that Denzel has been sober for 10 years and that he would drink two bottles of wine every day

for years, for like 15 years on and off. And that he shot dope for a while and stuff like this. But he's been sober for 10 years. Yeah, good for him. Cause he said that wine did a lot of damage to his body and that he at one point had a 10,000 bottle wine cellar. Oh, yeah. That'll do it.

When you have the 10,000 bottle wine cellar, it's hard not to drink the wine. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. God, well how is he in such good shape over all those movies? Well, I mean I think Denzel is a big guy, right? In general, he's like a big boned guy.

He's not a small human being. And when you see him in person, you realize that. But it's not like he's in great shape every movie. I mean, you know, think back on some of his, like now he looks a little skinnier, a little more tall, like older in age, he's lost some of that, like muscle weight and body weight. But there's a few movies where he's kind of got

like dad bod going on, if I remember correctly. So that jives, that jives, you're drinking two bottles of wine a day, you're gonna have dad bod, right? For some reason I'm just picturing him like. Buff? Buff with like fiery explosions happening in the back and him, you know, rescuing people. Yes, that's every movie Denzel's ever been in,

he plays a badass who rescues people. He's really like a real life superhero. And the thing is, is that Denzel plays Denzel in every movie, just like Tom Cruise plays Tom Cruise in every movie. Like Will Ferrell plays Will Ferrell in every movie. Like, you know, there's just some people who don't act, they're just themselves, and we enjoy watching whatever version of themselves is on,

and Denzel's one of those. But I think also if you think back on Denzel's career, it's not like he's shirtless running through the scene, right? He's always got like some sweater on. Why are we talking about this? I have no idea. Anyway, Denzel drank a lot. I don't know. I love Denzel. I do. I love Denzel. I love Denzel. He's one of my favorites. And I guess is he in the new movie, the... Gladiators 2. What? Gladiators 2. It's the Gl the new movie, the... Gladiators 2. What?

Gladiators 2. It's the Gladiators 2, yes. Gladiators 2. Yes, and that's what I was seeing some stuff in the news about, the kiss or something? The kiss? Yeah, he said that he, there was a kiss scene, same sex kiss scene with him that was deleted, but then the director Ridley Scott was like, no, that's not true. Oh, well, okay.

Maybe he's back on the wine. Director Ridley Scott was like, no, that's not true. Oh, well, okay. Maybe he's back on the line. Making out with guys and he thought I was on camera. I don't know. Cool dude, it's 2024. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, whatevs. I meant to delve deeper into that story. Yeah, listen, I go kissing a guy.

I want it to be in the movie. I'm with him. Yeah. If I go through all that trouble, I want it to be in the movie. I'm with him. Yeah, if I go through all that trouble, I wanted to be in the movie Yeah, okay. All right gladiators 2 is coming out. I think this weekend it's Friday, so I think it's coming out this weekend I think it's just like twisters Was like why did they have to redo that one too because but it's gonna make a billion dollars It's a formula and it it's gonna make a billion dollars. Right, it's a formula.

It's a formula and it's been 25 years since that other, since the first bad year. That first one is so good. It wasn't my favorite movie, but I get it. I get why people like it. And so yeah, so now the new version is coming out. It's already made like a hundred million dollars in globally and so it's gonna make another

500 million dollars here in the United States. And you know, it's Thanksgiving weekend, so those movies tend, like those big tent pole movies tend to do, or will be Thanksgiving weekend. They tend to do very well. The studios know what they're doing. And then they're up against Reindeer Knows Five or whatever,

Santa Claus Death Squad X with the Rock. That's the one I saw filming that was right, yeah. Yeah, what a terrible idea. I mean, come on. It's PG-13, first of all. If you're gonna make a movie like that, go all in and just make it a ruckus rated R, you know, diehard type movie.

But Santa Claus X, Raid Deer number five or whatever it is. Like, I don't know. I've seen the trailers and it looks terrible, but, and it is terrible according to everyone. But you know, okay, I guess some people are going to go, it already, that movie already made $38 million or something. It's just amazing how much cash those things bring in. But when it costs $200 million to make it's, you know, it's a gamble that you're taking. So we'll keep you posted on gladiators too. Gladiators too.

I'm sure everybody's going to be tuning in to expect that. Yeah, everybody wants Brian to update them on how much money other people are making. That's exciting. I don't know. Consider me your trash can for all information you don't need. I'll put it out there for you. Consider me your trash can for all information you don't need. I'll put it out there for you. Drama drop in the Chicken Fry drama, the Zach Brian Chicken Fry drama. Chicken Fry now claims that she has video of Zach Brian being abusive, like throwing things at her during an argument, and she has threatened

to release that video, and the guy from Barstool Sports is saying, yeah, you gotta release the video. And she's just threatening to do it because Zach Bryan is saying something bad about her cats or something? Like he's talking shit about a cat? I don't know, it's like, it's gotten way out of hand and talking shit about a cat or something? I don't know. It's like, it's gotten way out of hand and why we even care at this point, I don't know.

But Dave Portnoy is making this, Dave Portnoy is doing what I think Howard Stern has done so well for so long, which is make you care about people you otherwise don't give a shit about, right? He makes it into a big drama. He puts it on the front page of some rags and stuff like that. But that chicken fry, listen, apparently Zach Brian is a walking red flag.

And that's our topic today is relationship red flags. But Zach Brian is apparently a walking red flag. I mean, you're throwing things at people, you're unfriending your girlfriend because she's wearing a certain type of clothing. You're talking, you're breaking up with people. He apparently was engaged. How do you get the video? I'm just trying to figure out how this is, how this would go down.

Say you and I are across the room and you start throwing shit at me and I immediately reach for my phone and start filming you and you keep going? Yeah, you keep going. Okay. Yeah, or you're like this. Like you're just holding your phone like this. Like you don't know that I'm filming you. Oh, okay. I got into an argument once with a girl that I was dating who you know, like the one you know. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

And I got into an argument with her and it was so bad. I mean, again, it takes two to tango, so I don't want to like throw all the blame on just one person. I don't want to sound like, you know, I'm great and everybody else is terrible. But this was a tough relationship and there were issues. Yeah, it was toxic and there were issues and, um, that probably went beyond anything. I had the ability to help or whatever. But anyway, we got into an argument and she went so insane that my best friend called me while the argument was happening

and I just answered the phone. That's what I didn't, I didn't say hello. I just answered the phone. And then this went on for like a half an hour. I mean, she was screaming, yelling, throwing things around the apartment. You wanted it on record that, you wanted a witness. Yeah, I almost did.

It was like a weird, I don't know, like self-preservation thing. I don't know why I did it, but I did it. And then I went to work later on that day, I saw my best friend and he was like a weird, I don't know, like self-preservation thing. I don't know why I did it, but I did it. And then I went to work later on that day, I saw my best friend and he was like, I heard that whole thing. He's like, that is insane, bro. And I think part of the reason is because sometimes you get gas lit, right? It's like things can be bad, but someone else can make it seem like it's bad because of

you, right? You're the one that's crazy. You're the one that's acting out. You're the one that's driving this behavior. You're so terrible, that's why I'm acting that way. And again, it's, there's two sides to every story. So I don't want to, I know sometimes I may come across when I'm talking about this particular relationship, like I did no wrong. That's not true. But the wrong that I did was stay in it way too long and it was clear from the beginning that I was just an irritant to this human being.

Why did I stay around? I mean, that was it, right? But it was just like some kind of self-preservation that happened there. Yeah, it was a bad cycle. Oh man, was it? In and out, in and out, in and out. What is that? And it goes in and out, in and out.

Oh right. Mama has a squeeze box, never lets me sleep at night. The stupidest song that whoever wrote. Chicken fry responds. I'm just trying to, I want to, I want to get you up to speed on this because if we're going to go, if we're going to do it, let's just do it. Uh, oh, Chicken Fry now says she was in intensive therapy, uh, following the breakup country music, ex-girlfriend makes troubling abuse claims and now

deleted video. Wait, where is this about the, abuse claims and now deleted video. Wait, where is this about the, uh, and now deleted video. She deleted the video where she said she had a video. Yes. She said she had a video and then she deleted that video where she said she had a video, uh, video, Zach, Brian. Okay. I just...

Brianna La Paglia. La Paglia. La Paglia. Chicken Fry La Paglia threatened to release a video of the country singer, Zach Brian, abusing her. This follows him taunting her with her beloved cat, Stumps. Their messy breakup has been incredibly messy after, when it all started, that Brian announced their breakup online, leaving the podcast star blindsided.

Brian, you? Yeah, Brian, Zach Brian. Zach Brian! I know. In a now deleted video, Chicken Fry can be seen saying that if Brian doesn't stop sharing pictures of her cat, she'll post a video of him whipping shit at my face. Quite a serious allegation that so far hasn't been pursued. Dave Portnoy, a firm friend of Chicken Fries and the co-host of the BFF podcast,

encouraged her to post it. I'll just send it to you said Chicken Fry. This is becoming a real shit show. This is like, now you're getting into he said, she said territory. I think he could have left it at, Zach Brian was a shithead. He's posting pictures of your cat. Who really fucking cares? I mean, honestly, just ignore the guy. He's, he's obviously trying to taunt you, but you could, I mean, there was, he, if you would have looked into Zach Brian's history, you would have known that he had a history of breaking up with people without telling them that he was breaking up with them. He had a fiance or he was like married or something, and the lady didn't know that they were getting divorced or breaking up until she got like papers in the mail from an attorney. That is a really shitty way to

do it. If you're going to get divorced, you have to have a conversation with somebody unless you're in a terribly abusive relationship and then you need to leave in the middle of the night or some shit like that, right? There are certainly exceptions to the rule, but Chrissy, you can't just, imagine we're married for whatever period of time, and then the way you find out we're getting a divorce is because I send divorce papers to your house.

That is, that's really terrible. That is really terrible. It is, no, yeah, it shouldn't be done like that. Zach Bryan might be good at country music, but he's bad at relationships and maybe abusive. So I'd caution the next person who finds him on, what is that website? Oh God, yeah. Raya? Is it Raya?

Is it Raya or Raya? Do you think we could get on that website? I don't think so. I think you got to have like more than a million followers or something and I don't have more than a million followers. I don't have more than a hundred followers. It's gonna be hard. I did find that I have a lot of LinkedIn contacts though. Yeah, me too.

I saw that. A ton of LinkedIn, like 10,000 LinkedIn contacts. It's so easy to collect the light, you know. Because it's for business, everybody wants to connect with you for some reason or the other. Yeah. And I never asked to connect to anyone else.

I mean, I think I did at first, but it's all just people just reaching out to me to connect or following me or whatever they do. And so I opened that up for the first time in years, probably yesterday. Yeah. Last night to check in on old comings and goings. Yeah. We were talking about. I know.

All the old Clear Channel folks. And you have 10,000 plus contacts. And I'm like, no shit, I'm pretty popular. Go figure. Of course, half of them are names I can't say. And they're looking for, they want to know if I want part-time work from home where I make $10,000 a day. I can't believe we're not following up on those. No, I just don't have that kind of time. I'm too busy making no money here. Make $10,000 a day.

I'm too busy making, trying to fulfill the promise here at the commercial break of making $10,000 a day. We'll get there, it'll happen soon. All right, so today we are talking about relationship red flags and this is, everyone's got them, everyone knows them, everyone's been in that toxic relationship. I would think that most people, if you're over the age of, let's say 25, you've been in a relationship where hindsight 20, or maybe you're in a relationship where it's just plain toxic. And if you would have

looked back, just taking the sheen off the relationship, taking the beer goggles off, maybe one less line of blow, you wouldn't see that it was clear from the beginning this wasn't going to work out for you and that this person was in fact not your person. Maybe remove the sex too. Sex can be a big clouder. Drugs, alcohol, sex. Those three things are the gateways to toxic relationships. I swear to God they are. Well, those are the things are there gateways to toxic relationships, swear to God they are. That's why- Well, they're the things that make them keep going.

Yeah, they're, yes, gateway to like, like sleeping with somebody once, not a toxic relationship. Of course, unless then you need to, they, you know, then you need to get a restraining order on them like I did, yeah. Sleeping with them once, not a relationship, right? Just having a good night. Had a few of those where I'm glad I didn't get into relationships with them once, not a relationship, right? Just having a good night. Had a few of those where I'm glad I didn't get

into relationships with them. But you keep on drinking, drugging, and, and or, you know, sleeping with them, the sex is good. And it could easily lead to a toxic relationship because you just keep on chasing that high. Yeah, you keep on chasing that high. I mean, it's true. We have all been there. And so I asked some

people to, I asked you, the listener, to write in and tell me about your- I'm excited to hear these. Yes. And we got a number of you that wrote in. I can't go over every red flag and I don't want to go over some of them twice, but, and a lot of them are very similar, some of them very serious, but I did get three really juicy, good stories out of this. I changed the names, the dates, and the places to make sure I kept your anonymity. I don't want you back in the toxic relationship. So let's do this.

Let's take a break, and then I think we'll have time to get all three of them. Some of these are like a page long, like so. Lots of detail to the conversation. I look forward to this. I love it. I love when people take time. they do the homework for us. Thank you. It's great news.

Also a lot of great feedback about being on Twitch. So we will do that in 2025, just as soon as we learn how. We'll do that in 2025, giving you the ability to look in live on Chrissy and I recording an episode. Oh, looky-loo. Yeah. And you'll be able to come in and make comments and ask us questions and talk shit and all that good stuff. Maybe even send us money.

I see on that Twitch, people are like, Super Chat! Super Chat! Five dollars! Super Chat! Ten dollars! I will literally, literally, handwritten note with Lipstick Kiss, the first person who super chats the commercial break. And maybe I'll do it to every person that super chats the commercial break. Yeah, let's throw that in there. For sure.

I've got the lipstick right here. Oh, look at you. You do have the lipstick on today. Also I wanted to let you know, just a reminder, I know you're hearing this before the show, like we have some ads that are running, some promos that are running. We will be here with you the entire Thanksgiving week, Christmas week, New Year's week, and beyond. Forever and ever we will be with you.

So fear not, we're here bringing you brand new episodes, including the 12 days of TCB. Please on behalf of me and my network and my contractual obligations to hit a certain number of episodes, I request that you tune into the 12 Days of TCB. Actually, it's gonna be fun. I'm excited. And here's how it's gonna go. Lots of people have been asking. I'm gonna dress up. What is the 12 Days of... Yeah, I thought ugly Christmas sweater every day. Uh-huh.

And we'll be here in the new studio, hopefully by then, the new renovated studio by then, putting all the episodes out on YouTube and Spotify video. But people have been asking what exactly is the 12 days of TCB to which I respond I don't know I just agreed to it. I just thought it sounded cool. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me Frankie B something like that and then we're gonna go down the road we're gonna review some of our favorite content from 2024 we're gonna zoosh it up a little bit and then we're gonna, you know,

hopefully new videos from Frankie B and Teresa Caputo and Mountain Monsters and all the good stuff. All the faves. All the faves. Basically, we'll turn back the dial to early 2024 when we all felt like the world might have a chance of hanging on. It's a new year.

Yeah, it's a new year. Fresh year. Yes, and we'll look forward to Armageddon in 2025. All right, let's take a break and we'll be back. Brian might have just said it's time to take a break, but some of us have to work right now. And by work, I mean, gently nudge you, nay, beg you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast because listen, the more followers we get, the more clout I get with Chrissy and Brian.

If you've got something to say, give us a call and leave us a voicemail at 212-4333-TCV or shoot us a text. One more thing, check out our website, tcbpodcast.com, where you can find all of our audio and video and even request a new sticker from the Contact Us form. Bye. Stringing December 3rd, only on Disney+. From the directors of Spider-Man, No Way Home and The Mandalorian comes a brand new series.

It's dangerous out here in space. Join the crew. We have to move fast. As they explore the galaxy. We're not alone down here. Don't miss the new Star Wars adventure. Do you want to join me? Skeleton Crew, two episode premiere, December 3rd, only on Disney+.

I'm Jenna Fisher. And I'm Angela Kinsey. We are best friends and together we have the podcast Office Ladies where we rewatched every single episode of The Office with insane behind the scenes stories, hilarious guests and lots of laughs. Guess who's sitting next to me? Steve! It is Steve Carell in the studio!

Every Wednesday we'll be sharing even more exclusive stories from the office and our friendship with brand new guests. And we'll be digging into our mailbag to answer your questions and comments. So join us for brand new Office Ladies 6.0 episodes every Wednesday. Plus on Mondays, we are taking a second drink.

You can revisit all the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. Well, we can't wait to see you there. Follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to the O-Well Business. Billy Bob Thornton, Demi Moore, and Jon Hamm star in a new Paramount Plus original series.

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Landman, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount+. Oh, I also wanted to tell you that next Saturday, the Saturday after Thanksgiving, Chrissy, we will have a bonus TCB infomercial episode with a very special guest I hope you tune in. One of the more popular actresses, comedians of our time right now is going to be coming in and speaking with us and we will broadcast that on a Saturday for you. So you have a little something extra

while you're putting up the Christmas tree. Nice. So tune in. That's Saturday after Thanksgiving. I wish I could tell you the date, but I don't even know what day it is today. So. It will be the 29th. 30th. It'll be the 30th. It'll be the 30th. November 30th, special TCB infomercial. Tune in, you'll know who it is once you see it. And why can't I tell you who it is now? Because I'm not 100% sure that they're actually coming in to do the interview. So there you go. Sometimes we get ghosted.

Get ghosted! Okay, first we have a very simple red flag from one of our listeners. Not going to name it just in case. I'm not going to name her just in case, but I know it is her. And here it is. It says, okay, red flags. You wanted one, and here's one that I wish I had seen and recognized in my partner long before I got involved.

When your partner is uncharacteristically quiet around your family and friends, it's as if they can't even fake pleasantries, but then they shower you with love and affection in private. Sincerely, the survivor of long time abuse. So from North Carolina. Yes, I agree with you. When someone is a different person with you outside of the house than they are inside the house or in private, that is a huge red flag. And one that I experienced in said relationship that was toxic for me is that things were different inside the house than they were outside the house. Whether it be they were worse inside the house than

they were outside, it's almost as if nothing happened. I mean, sometimes they would be acting out outside the house, but, or sometimes there would be, it would be like we were boyfriend girlfriend inside the house, but then when we go to social functions, as if we didn't know each other or we were just friends or you know, it was really strange. It was like a switch flipped. Now, I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but it is rather disconcerting. And I do think it's a big red flag when someone can switch like that or they refuse to give you the kind of attention and affection that they do normally. Listen, I can understand people don't like PDA.

Like some people just are not into PDA, right? Astrid's not into PDA. She doesn't like a bunch of like, you know, someone sucking her neck while we're out. While you're out, right. French kissing while you're out, right? Yeah. Going to second base at the Chili's.

She doesn't like that kind of shit. And some people do, right? And some people love it. Like the time I went to town with somebody in a movie theater got kicked out. But it's when there is like a total flip of the switch, like it's lights on, lights off, as soon as you exit the home or get in a social situation, especially around your friends and family, that is weird. And you do need to monitor behavior closely at that point, because why?

Why are you being so different when we're in a social situation than you would be? It's either because you want to- You know- Portray one thing outside? Yes. I call it being hidden, right? It's like when people want to hide you, or they want to hide the relationship, or they want to hide the fact that you're together.

And we're not talking about people who are having affairs, where it is known that you're just going to be hidden, right? We're talking about like an open relationship where they're hiding you for some reason. They're hiding their affection, they're hiding their attention. That's a huge red flag. I think in that case, you should probably think long and hard about whether or not you really want to be in a relationship with somebody. What do you think?

I do. I mean, I, well, I don't know. It's kind of tough. Like again, hindsight's 2020. But yeah, like in the moment, I think I would maybe if it consistently is happening, then you bring it up and see what they say there. You and Jeff are first dating, right? And you're in the house and it's all shits and giggles. And you're making love and having fun and, you know, all of this other stuff. Maybe even like holding hands around the apartment complex or when you take a private walk together, you know, private walk together. What's a private walk together?

I thought, no, Brian, what are you talking about? Down in our pasture. Yeah, right, in your pasture. Down the field. Yeah, down the beach, the private beach in the Hamptons. And the Hamptons. And the Hamptons. Our property.

Yeah, right on the Beltline, that private walkway that you guys have right behind you. But then you get into a social situation where his friends and family or other people that he knows are there and he kind of like puts you off. He's like, he won't hold your hand. He doesn't want to be affectionate. He doesn't like, you know, there's no terms of endearment. It's almost as if you guys are friends, right? Yeah, I know. That would be weird. That would be a red flag. I think that's what she is referring to here. I think she's saying that it just got really, she got, he got standoffish almost when he was, when she was around in social situations with friends and family too, which is like a huge one.

Because you would think, even if you don't like PDA, like the place you could be safe, giving attention and affection to your loved one would be around friends and family. Like that's your tree of trust. That's your little nest, right? So, well. That is the nest, yeah. Well, and it would, I think too, I guess I'm trying to figure out too, is it, would it be his friends and family that he then is all of a sudden not being

very affectionate or nice or would it be her friends and family or both? She's saying her friends and family. Her, well, I mean her family, maybe he doesn't want to be too like, maybe he's scared of her dad. Maybe, maybe, but you know, I think there's also this thing, and I think we might get into this later on in some other stories, but there's also this thing that I noticed was happening in my own toxic relationship is that the slow nature of cutting off friends and family. Oh, well, that's true. Right? The kind of the cornering of energy. Like, if you were spending time, energy or effort somewhere else besides on them directly, that was a no-no. And you all of a sudden,

like you started to get cordoned off. Yeah. And so sometimes I think when, and I may be misinterpreting this, but I think I'm not, is that sometimes when the energy changes, it's in an effort to wrangle your energy. Like, it has to be on me at all times. I'm not gonna give you anything right now, but I don't want you spending that energy on time on anyone else.

That is dangerous. When someone tries to cordon you off from friends and family, you gotta get out. Get out immediately. The first sign of that, get out immediately, because it's never gonna end well. You don't wanna be isolated in a relationship with a fucking dick. That's not what you want to do.

That's why for many years, no one dated Brian. No one wanted to be in a room with a dick. All right. This one is affectionately referred to as the Red Flag Rodeo, Chrissy. The Red Flag Rodeo. Iissy. The Red Flag Rodeo. I like this. Oh, here we go. They're naming their stories now.

Hey there, TCB Crew, 30 year old single woman living in the fabulous city of Chicago. And boy, do I have a wild story for you. Buckle up because I think it's a classic case of not love is blind, but love is blind to red flags. Oh yeah. Okay, here we go. I met this guy on a dating app.

He seemed awful charming. He had a killer smile and we hit it off over our mutual love of pizza and terrible puns. I thought, finally, this is my catch. This is my dude. But as I quickly learned, this guy became a whole buffet of red flags. Ten red flags I'm going to name to be exact. 10, she's gonna give us 10. Here we go, ready?

Number one, the lack of communication. At first, he was very sweet, but after a few dates, I noticed he never wanted to talk about his own feelings. When I brought up my bad day or anything personal, he just changed the subject to fantasy football or some other bullshit I didn't care about. I was like, dude, I'm not trying to draft a quarterback. I just want to share what my weekend was like.

Okay, yeah, all right. Dude, people that are shut down emotionally, certainly a red flag for sure. Number two, his controlling behavior. It started small. He'd make comments about my wardrobe choices or what makeup I was wearing. He'd say things like, are you really wearing that to the bar? I mean, that's like, that's

not a little red flag. That's not subtle. That's a big one. Eventually, he would suggest that I hang out with only certain friends. It seems like a red flag, right? Who knew that my friends were going to be a threat to him and his goddamn fantasy football league? Okay, good to see where this is going. Excessive jealousy. One night I went out with my girlfriends and he blew up my phone. He would not stop texting and calling. He would say things like, who's that guy you're talking to? Do you think he's cute? How did he even know who you were talking to? That's weird. you're talking to? Do you think he's cute? How did he even know who you were talking to? That's weird. And I mean, yes, the dude I was talking to was cute, but that's not

the fucking point. Did I sign up for a relationship with a personal investigator or a real human being? Okay, yes. Well, listen, this one I got to take a little umbrage with. If you are talking to cute dudes at the bar, like if that's a pattern of yours, I can understand where someone might be a little bit upset. Like I find myself to be a very not jealous person. Like you really have to, you'd have to be sucking dick for me to get like, oh, come on, really? You know, I don't find myself to be jealous. Like I don't get all upset about Astrid making comments about people that are cute or handsome or, you know, watching smut on TV or, you know, interacting. But if she was like in an emotional affair with somebody, like texting hot and heavy back and forth, that kind of stuff would

bother me. But, you know, talking to a handsome dude at the bar and then saying that he was handsome is not going to really upset me all that much. But if it was a pattern, if it was going on all the time, I would see that as a red flag for you. I'd be like, why do you constantly need the attention of other men? Like that feels to me like you're looking for a lazy bitch. Yeah, and it's kind of like if you go out to the bar too with a person that you came with, you kind of want to hang out with that person. Absolutely. But this sounds like she went out with her girlfriends and then all of a sudden he, I

think he, was he following you? Did he have a camera? Yeah, that's what the, yeah. Camera's somewhere in your glasses. Because that is a red flag. Now it's Frankie B. Now he's getting out the phone out and shit's going sideways. All right, gaslighting. When I confronted him about the jealousy, he acted as if I was overreacting.

He said, you're being dramatic. It was just me caring about you. I just wanted to make sure that you were safe and okay. Nobody, I said, that's not caring about me. That is manipulation. Again, I think this is a bit of a gray area here. Like, I don't think he's caring about you, but I think he's caring about whether or not you're going to be hooking up with other dudes. That I can kind of understand. So, I'm just trying to play devil's advocate here a little bit. Otherwise, I think you're spot on. Disrespectful language. One time we went out with friends and he made a joke at my expense. This continued. Everyone laughed and it continued, but I felt like I had been slapped in the face.

I told him it wasn't funny and he responded, you really need to lighten up. And I said, sure, let's just throw my self-esteem down where your fantasy football league is. Okay. Yep. There's a fantasy football theme going on too. I think she hated the dude who spent a lot of time on fantasy football, I think is what's going on. Well, let me share this. This is true, is that there are people, when you make fun of each other inside the room, right, when it's the two of you, it's scientifically noted that that is a way to deepen your relationship, when you can poke fun at each other's foibles

and coibles. But I have often said, and I say this to Astrid all the time, love is not bouncing on an open nerve. If someone has anxieties or is self-conscious or has some kind of, you know, issues around themselves, and we all know what these are, if you've been in a relationship for a while, you don't then bounce on those and use it for either laughter or to poke at someone outside of the room. You just don't do it. It's highly disrespectful and quite frankly, it's the sign that you're not caring for somebody, you're doing the exact opposite, you're not caring for them. It's not that you are caring for them, it's that you're not caring for them. I agree with this one 100%. I'm with you. We're here. Dr. Phil in the house.

Inconsistent behavior. One minute he told me I was sweet as pie and the next he'd act cold and distant, just like our first lady from North Carolina. I felt like I was dating a mood ring. I could never figure out what color I was supposed to be. Yes, this is, I forget what they call this, but this is when, love bombing. When you love bomb somebody, they're the best, you can't, you know, I love you, there's nothing wrong with you, I can't believe you're with me, you're my savior, you're my hero, and then 15 minutes later, you cannot do a goddamn thing right. It's called love bombing. They give you the love and then they take it away. They give you the love and then they take it away. And it's in an effort to control your emotional well-being.

It's in an effort to break you down, whether they consciously understand that or not, I think some people do. But what they're doing is that they're trying to control you. Just like you say, here, I felt like I was dating a muttering, I couldn't figure out what color I was supposed to be. You're not supposed to be any color. You're supposed to be how you are. You're supposed to feel how you're supposed to feel. Yes, big red flag, Chrissy. I agree. Okay. Conflict resolution. If I tried to bring up anything that bothered me, he'd raise his voice or he'd just go silent.

I was always left standing there like a deer in the headlights, wondering if I should just start talking to myself. He never wanted to resolve conflict after it happened or headed off at the pass. Huge red flag. That's just a sign of emotional immaturity, quite frankly. Right, and bad communication.

You ever been with someone who gets so fucking defensive? They get defensive about every fucking thing that you want to talk about? That drives me crazy. And I know I've been guilty of this too. Sometimes we all get defensive about one thing or the other. But this is one where I would say, yes, big red flag. It's a sign that you have the emotional maturity to try and figure things out

and your partner does not have the emotional maturity to sit there with you. Yeah, you gotta work through things. Of course you do. Yeah, or they just fester too. Yeah. Blame shifting. When we had our first real argument,

he insisted that it was all my fault. He said, if you hadn't brought that up, we wouldn't be fucking fighting. So basically, the mess that we were in was me just having feelings. I understood in that moment that I had to walk on eggshells around what I was saying and how I was sharing my own feelings. Yeah, that's, this is tough. Yeah, this sounds like a shitty relationship altogether. I don't know why you were in this one. Number nine, physical aggression. Oh, well that's, yeah.

That's just a line. That's not even a red flag, that's a line. That's definitely a line. It's not allowed. This one is a bit extreme, but let me clarify. One time, he got frustrated while playing a video game. Video games and fantasy football sounds like you just have a, it sounds like your pickers off actually.

He got mad while playing a video game and accidentally knocked over a lamp, but it didn't feel accident, even though that's what he said, it didn't feel accidental. I was like, whoa dude, that's not cool. But he brushed it off. He said that it was just an accident and it felt like a small thing at the time

but it left me feeling uneasy in general. Yeah, it could have been an accident. And who amongst us hasn't thrown something against the wall at some point? Like, you know, sometimes it hit a pillow, you know, kick the dirt. You know, sometimes- Throw a golf club.

Yeah. Toss blue in the pool. You know, like who amongst us? That's been kind of a little frustrated. I mean, if it's not physical aggression towards you- Yeah, I thought that's what it was. Okay, me too. But if it's physical aggression and you feel like it could have been you, then, or if it

was because of you, like, if you're in an argument and he threw the lamp against the wall, bad news. If he's mad at a video game and he knocked over the lamp, like, and he shoved over the lamp because he was mad at the video game, yeah, I would take note of it. But I don't know that that would be like a huge red flag for me. It would just be like, we do need to learn how to control our anger a little bit. It's a video game.

Rev down. Yeah, rev down, as Kristy would say. Rev down! And number 10, finally, lack of support. One time I had a big presentation at work and instead of being encouraging, he just told me, I hope you don't mess it up.

Oh! And then didn't support me in any other way when I really needed this presentation to work out. I just wish that he had spent some time boosting my confidence instead of saying trite words. I thought, thanks for the vote of confidence, man. Maybe I'll just walk into the meeting with a sign that says, I'm gonna be a disaster. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big red flag.

If Astrid didn't support me, we would have ended this podcast episode number three. Do you know what I'm saying? Same with Jeff. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeff tells me every day, he gives me my little lunch and he gets a kiss and he walks me out the door and he says, be safe, be funny. I love you so much. Be safe, be funny. I'm going to whack off. See you later. I love you so

much. Yeah, no, it's true. You have to have, your partner has to be supportive of you. Especially too, if it was like something that had been building up, it was a big presentation, she'd been working on it for weeks, months, whatever. And the day of, he says, I hope you don't mess it up. I know. I would be like, fuck you, dude. I mean, we do that as friends. Yeah, we do that as friends.

You should certainly have that as a partner, right? Yes. Absolutely. Okay, so wrap it up. After a couple of months, I finally had enough when he suggested I should quit my job because it was stressing me out too much. I realized that I had been losing myself in this relationship and it was time to run off into the sunset solo style.

I ended things, and let me tell you, it felt like shedding a hundred pounds. I learned that sometimes love blinds you to the red flags, but it's critical to pay attention to those flags or you might find yourself in a rodeo of emotional chaos. Thanks for listening. And remember when dating, keep your eyes peeled for those red flags because nobody needs a rodeo in their love life.

Love you guys. Podcast listener, Chicago Ill in the Water. Oh, we love you. TZB listeners, what they said, but I say podcast listener. Okay, thank you. That was good. I liked it. And she broke it down step by step for us so that we could tell which red flags.

I agree with most of them. Some of them I think are a little bit gray area. Yeah, and each one on its own, if that was it, maybe that's something you could work through, but altogether, they add up. Yeah, a few of those were bigger than others, but some of them had a little bit of gray area.

We would probably need more detail or to know the person directly. But I will say, in some, in total, huge, huge toxic red flag. That guy was going to be no good for you in the long run. So a few months, I think you consider yourself lucky that you just have really bad experience for a few months. Yeah, exactly. Just a few months, not a few years. Yeah.

Let's get a little bit more complicated, Chrissy, in a polyamorous relationship. Ooh. Polyamory red flags. All right. When we return, we'll get to that from one of our wonderful listeners. We'll be back. In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio, being forced to record liner after liner liner and I never get to leave.

So help me by following us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCBpodcast and go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now please text us at 212-433-3TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet! Did you know that more than 50% of food waste in Toronto homes is avoidable? By cutting down on food waste, you can help protect the environment and save money. Simple actions like planning your meals, storing food correctly, and using everything you purchase make a big difference. Learn how to make every bite count at toronto.ca slash food waste.

All right I'll turn on my microphone. Why not? That's good. Start there. Well I just thought it was broken as it is. So I've decided in the new studio configuration that the commercial break is to spend wisely and get a new microphone for Brian and give the broken one to Christina. So that way, hopefully, when I don't like what she's saying, it'll just cut itself off. It'll just crackle. Yes. Poor Christina. Actually, we love Christina and she'll be here with us pretty soon, every episode here in the studio, producing us live and

hopefully sharing her thoughts here and there when appropriate, Christina. Learn to stay in your lane. Red flag from Brian, learn to stay in your lane. Also, she can also do the research so we're not Googling things as we talk. Yes, that's true. Like, we've decided that we just need some backup here because we so many times don't know what the fuck we're talking about and we don't, it's not a good look to just then spend 30 dead air seconds trying to Google something. Or is it the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, We just so many wonderful things we could do if we had an extra pair of hands and an actual brain in here So yes between the three of us will have one brain and we'll be able to figure things out

All right our polyamorous friend from Los Angeles wrote us a letter and 23 year old living in Los Angeles and they have a story that hopefully will make us laugh cringe and maybe even rethink our Dating choices Chrissy.issy. So grab your kombucha, she says, and settle in as I take you through a whirlwind experience and a polyamorous relationship that was more tangled than my earbuds on a trip to the gym. Well, you shouldn't be using, first of all, you should never use wires at the gym. You know what I'm saying? I've seen so many people with those wire things. They just fly out of their heads and their heads go knocking into something. Don't use wires at the gym. Go to a year list. Okay. I met an amazing couple, Alex and Jamie, at a local queer coffee shop one night.

They were fun, charismatic, and they also had effortless chemistry that was downright enviable. After a few flirty conversations and a couple of mind-blowing group hangouts, they invited me to join their relationship. I thought, what could go wrong? I mean, it's LA, we're all about love, acceptance and sharing, right? And to be honest, polyamory and the queer lifestyle in LA is spot on. It's not unusual. Spoiler alert, what could go wrong? Spoiler alert, a lot. Right off the bat, I noticed that communication was like a game of charades, but nobody knew the rules. When I'd ask about their boundaries or how they envisioned our dynamic, it was like trying to extract information from some secret society. They just would say things like, we'll figure it out as we

go. Yeah, because that always ends well, she says. Yeah, no. Yeah, no, no, no, no. No, I hear you. You gotta have clear boundaries right off the bat. And oh boy, did the jealousy rear its ugly head right from the beginning. One night I ended up going to a concert with Alex, I'm assuming this is the male in the relationship. I don't know if Alex and Jamie are a man and a woman or a man and a man, I'm not really sure. But when Jamie found out, they sent me a text message that read, I hope you're having fun without me. Thanks for the invite. I mean, it was a concert, not a funeral, and I tried to reassure them, but it felt like I was navigating a minefield with every word. One minute they were-

Hope you're having fun without me. Yeah, hope you're having fun without me, bitch. I'll have the dead rabbit waiting when you get home. I mean, come on. Yeah, I agree. If you're going to be in a throuple, then you got to understand that at times it's not going to include you. Isn't that like the benefit of being in a throuple sometimes? And then like, okay, I don't have to worry about it. One person doesn't feel like going to the concerts. Isn't that like the benefit of being in a throuple sometimes? And then like, you know, okay, I don't have to worry about it tonight. One person doesn't feel like going to the concert. That's right. That's right. Ask that guy from Sister Wives. He's... That's working out.

It's working out just fine for him. Everything turned out roses. One minute they were all in inviting me to join family dinners and movies. The next night, it was like I had vanished into thin air. I'd text and I'd get crickets in response, sometimes for hours and sometimes for days. Whoa. I felt like I was in a relationship with a couple of magicians. Now you see me, now you don't." Well, yeah, that's a red flag. Definitely.

If you're going to be in like a relationship. Every single one of these have been the definable red flag. Absolutely. First of all, no boundaries. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Yeah, we'll figure it out. You're horrible. Now you see me, now you don't. Yeah, that's like, I don't know. That's like trying to stick it in the butt the first time you make out with somebody, right? It's like when you have no boundaries, then the boundaries are everywhere. And then they're just going to pop up here and there and it's going to make for everyone being upset.

Well, they're going to pop up when there is a, when you hit a boundary, when you hit a boundary, that's right. When you hit a conflict. When you cross the line. And then when you cross the line, there's conflict and it's unnecessary because you could have said from the beginning. I don't like you going out with Alex unless you ask if that's okay. Yeah, communicate with me.

Yeah, okay, all right, I got it. Right? Or, you know, at times, Alex and I would, or Jamie and I, or whatever, we would like to have our own space. So from time to time, we're going to take a little break here and there during the week. We like to just go to work and do our thing. We'll see you on the weekends, whatever. This sounds like no expectations were set from the beginning and you're just bumping into the walls as you go along. Right. Yeah. So this is, I see this, this is definitely a red flag, but I have to say this, my friend,

I do believe some of this and you're 23 and everyone's learning, but I do have to say you'll learn this as you go along. Some of this might be on you a little bit too. You could have also said, hey, what are the dynamics here? What's going to go on? Or I don't like this, or I would like this. But let's read through it and maybe we'll find out they did. One night after a particularly awkward group outing, I tried to adjust how I felt as the third wheel.

Instead of owning up to any miscommunications, Alex shot back with, maybe if you hadn't been so quiet, we wouldn't have had these problems. I was like, excuse me? I didn't realize that I needed to be the one directing the relationship to fit in. Uh, yeah, this is all miscommunication. Every bit of it. Exactly. This is really about miscommunication.

This is a tale as old as time. Miscommunication. Uh, both Alex and Jamie were very sweet, but when it came to discussing feelings, it really was like pulling teeth. I tried to have heart to heart conversations. They deflect with jokes or they would change the subject. I felt like I was trying to perform brain surgery without any training. Extremely difficult, slightly terrifying. It was like a high wire act and I always fell off the wire."

Okay, this is it. When I broached the subject, an example, when I broached the subject of where we were heading as a trio, the conversation often turned awkward. Jamie would say things like, let's just enjoy the moment. Well, that's great and all, but I'm not trying to invest in a relationship that's like a pop-up store at the mall. I need some stability. I need to know where we're going and what we're doing. Fair enough.

Okay. There's more to this. And after a few months, I noticed that the boundaries were more like suggestions to them. I'd express my boundaries were more like suggestions to them. I'd express something like I need some time alone and they'd respond with, oh, come on, we just need one more game, game night, or why don't you feel like hanging out with us?

Does that mean you don't want to be with us? They pressured me into feeling like my boundaries weren't real expectations that needed to be met. I felt like I was always on this tightrope and I was just one step from the abyss. I always felt guilty for wanting personal space or trying to get my personal needs met. Yes, miscommunication, all of it. Yeah, and I mean, it almost sounds like the couple wanted to kind of just hang out,

go to shops and game nights and hook up and not really have it be or that person, other person be a part of the relationship. Yes. I think this is a tale about a couple who was looking for a little bit of excitement, brought you into the relationship, played with you like a toy, and then decided when or when not to discard you and your feelings. Which by the way, from my own knowledge of throuples, it's kind of how it goes. Right?

I mean, we know some people and for years, they wanted a girlfriend. It's a couple. They wanted a girlfriend and they would bring in young girl after young girl after young girl, some for longer times than others that really ended up becoming babysitters, nannies, people to clean their house, but they would come and go not as the girl pleased, but as they pleased. Yeah. not as the girl pleased, but as they pleased. And it became very, very difficult for every one of those young ladies who all left in tatters because they felt like they were getting invested in this relationship

that was going to be meaningful and mean something. And really what it was, was just a play thing for the couple, I mean, that's how I saw it. I love these people to death, I think they're wonderful. I don't think they were trying to be, I don't think they were trying to misrepresent or be mean or be abusive. I don't think that's what it was.

I think that's just what happened in the end. So, you know, throuples again. Seems tricky. Polyamory French for my relationships not working. Uh, I'm kidding. I, I, I. It just seems very, very tricky. Yeah, I don't know any polyamory relationships that worked super long term, but that I only have

no, my limited scope is my limited scope. I don't know. After a few months of the emotional roller coaster, I decided I was more stressed than happy. I left and I had, or I had decided to have a sit down with them to express my concerns. And when I brought up these red flags, they just shrugged and said, this is how polyamory works. You have to be flexible. Okay, true. And that was my aha moment. Flexibility is great, but not at the expense of my own emotional health. So I made a tough decision to stay away from the relationship and I left.

I realized that while polyamory can be beautiful, it needs to be built on strong communication, respect, and understanding. Yes! Yes! Yes! Like, the number one thing. Absolutely. So here I am, single and ready to mingle,

but with a much clearer vision of what I want in a relationship. Wow, you live and you learn. Yes. Thanks for listening. If you know anybody that needs a, that's looking for a 23 year old third, let me know whether you're in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship, communication is the key. Don't

ignore red flags. Cheers to you all navigating the wild world of love with laughter and care as you always do. Oh, that's very sweet. Thank you very much. You obviously haven't been listening for very long. There you go. There you have it. You obviously haven't been listening for very long. There you go. There you have it. I mean, she said it. She got it in the end. She did. It really was just about communication. You want to hear one more? Let's do it. Why not? Let's go for one more. Yeah. And you know, just thinking back, you know, some of these things are where you

learn as you go of what is good, what works for you, what doesn't work for you, and that's life. That is life. It's also hard for somebody else to tell somebody else what to do. Like, you know when your parents told you, like, Yes. Something and you were like, I don't know, and then you learned it yourself

and you said that they were right. Yes, I agree with you. Some things you just have to kind of go through. Some things you do just kind of have to go through on your own. When you're 23 years old, and this is, it's hard enough figuring it out with one person involved in the mix.

When you make the conscious choice to have multiple people in the mix, then you're going to have to deal with multiple emotional situations and varying levels of emotional maturity and varying boundaries and varying levels of respect. That is really difficult to do. Like when I was 23 years old, I could barely understand what my own boundaries were, let alone anybody else's. I'm not even sure I had any, right? And so I do agree with Christy on this one. You will learn as you go along.

It's not like I'm here to tell you that I'm some wise, like I'm the third wise man. Wait, you are Guru. Guru GVG. That's true, I am. It's true. Get some Kundalini Yoga going. It's true. You got that right. Get some punalini yoga going.

Yeah. Dragon fire? Fire dragon? Breath of dragon? That's right. I'm the fire breath. Dragon breath. Dragon, I do have dragon breath.

I got the breath of a thousand asses. Welcome to the studio, Christina. I'm going to meet Christina with my coffee breath every morning. Hey! Love what you're wearing. The fire bracket, dragon breath. The fire breath. The fire breath. The breath of fire.

Oh my God. That lady was crazy. All right. I don't know if I might get my pages mixed up here, but let's just see if we could put this together. You have quite a few pages. I do have quite a few pages. Actually, you know what?

I have it on my phone so that I don't mess it up. Well, it's a good thing you printed out that book. Yeah. Well, this is seven years of, you know, papers that I have sitting on this desk. I should probably clean that out at some moment. There it is. Okay. Oh, here we go. I see what's going on here now. Okay. All right, I'm gonna call this the rainbow red flag story. Hey, everyone, 30 furry old guy living in sunny Miami, Florida. Let me tell you, my dating life has been a tropical storm. Beautiful from afar. Can we just commend all the are of our listeners for their… They're very cute.

They are very cute. They're very cute. Well, there was many of them and I took the cutest ones. I took the best writers of them. Okay, yeah. And there's a few people who just obviously took a lot of time to write these, and so I felt it was important to get to them. My relationship life is beautiful from afar, but it's really full of a bunch of turbulence.

So please grab your mojitos and let me share about my brief romance I'll call Brad the Red Flag. Okay. I met Brad at a local bar during Drag Queen Bingo Night. Nice. He was charming, had great taste in cocktails, and could recite every lyric from Wrecking Ball, like he was auditioning for a Broadway show. I thought to myself, finally a catch!

But soon I realized he was more like a catch and release. Fun of games until you realize he's slippery and slimy. Our first date went smoothly until I realized I had to pull teeth to find out anything about him. So what do you do for fun, I asked. And he would reply with something like, I watch Netflix. Great, but what shows? I mean, this man treated conversation like a game of dodgeball.

Every question that was thrown his way would be answered with the fewest amount of words possible. After a few dates, he started suggesting what I should wear. He would say stuff like, you should never really wear that blue shirt. Uh... God. Oh. Or, that red brings out the worst in your eyes.

What? Geez. I mean, sure, I can appreciate a compliment, but if I wanted a stylist, I'd call my mother. Uh, one evening, I was chatting with a cute guy at a bar, for research purposes, of course, and Brad stormed over like a hurricane. Who's this?

He demanded, pointing out my new friend. I chuckled. I chuckled that he was just a fellow bingo enthusiast, but Brad wasn't having it. Well, I don't like him. Oh, cool. I didn't realize I needed your approval to talk to other human beings. I said, okay, but come on, man, really? I mean, you're over there chatting up hot guys again. Here we go with this kind of gray area. When I tried to express my comfort over his

jealousy, he turned it around on me. You know, you're always so sensitive. It's just me caring about you, never the other way around. And I thought to myself, caring, is that what we're calling it now? I mean, I didn't know I signed up for a relationship. I didn't know I signed up for a relationship with a mind reader. One minute he'd be the life of the party, and the next minute he'd act like someone stole his last slice of cake. One night he was dancing on tables, the next he'd be sulking in the corner staring into his drink, and it was like a crystal ball was trying to predict his future. I felt like I was dating two different people or maybe this was just a Jekyll and Hyde situation.

Or a bipolar. Or bipolar, that's right. Yeah, I mean that's a real thing. Of course. Our first fight was over the last slice of pizza. Yes, I said it, that's true. Instead of talking about it, he slammed the pizza box shut and refused to talk to me. This whole situation was confusing from beginning to end. And at the end of the day,

I just couldn't handle it anymore. I know these red flags are small, but they ended up becoming big deals in the end. It was a firework display of red flags, and I should have seen it from the beginning. We only lasted a few months, and now I know what to avoid when looking for my next bingo bob partner.

Once again, love gay in Florida. Thank you, gay in Florida. Thank you, gay in Florida. Once again. Love gay in Florida. Thank you gay in Florida. Thank you gay in Florida. Once again, communication and not paying attention to some pretty obvious red flags. Though I do have to say, like if he's telling you that maybe that shirt doesn't look good on you,

he's upset that you're talking to hot guys at the bar and he on occasion is a little bit moody, I don't know if those are red flags or if you just met the wrong guy for you. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? This is not like our first writer who like clearly had really serious red flags that she was avoiding or not, or not paying attention to. This seems more of like a mismatched couple to me.

I'm just saying that. No offense to you or to me. I'm just saying that. No offense to you or to Brad. I'm just thinking to myself that if you had, if you knew what you wanted, this was not it. If you wanted to be able to talk to hot guys at the bar and not have someone that was jealous, if you wanted someone that was consistently upbeat and never, you know, kind of got in the sour mood, always looked at the glass half full, and you wanted someone who would not talk, you know, like not tell you what they think of what you're wearing, there is a person out there for you, right? And it just didn't seem like Brad

was that guy. I'm just trying to give Brad a little bit of a break here because it doesn't sound like Brad was a bad guy. It just sounds like Brad was, you know, not your guy. Yeah, that's right. So, there you go. Look at that. We got a kaleidoscope of stories from our wonderful listeners. I really appreciate it. I know. I really do too. I'm so proud of everybody for taking the time. They took the time. They wrote it out. One even had bullet points. Yeah.

They bullet pointed out the behavior. Yeah, that's right. So thank you very much. We really appreciate it. And thank you to everybody who wrote in about the red flags. I'm sorry I couldn't get to everybody, but I only have so much time. And that's the way the cookie crumbles. Communication is key in any relationship, be it one-on-one, one with yourself even. Yes, yes. If I'm being honest, communication is just

number one. Folks out there just keep that in mind for everything. I think that's the number one thing you should do, is learn how to communicate with yourself first, and then you will never question how somebody else communicates with you. Because if they don't do it the right way, it's not respectful with trust and with love, you'll know it immediately and you won't like it.

Right, that's it. Gotta pay attention to yourself first. But don't let me be the person who stops you from learning your own lessons, because I certainly, no one could tell me any different When I was young either So there you go, Chrissy. Yeah Guru BG and Yogi Hoadley do it again

Yogi Hoadley do it again We've come to the rescue of course all three of those people are now out of those relationships But we could have told you if you would have hit us up back then. Or maybe you did and I just didn't respond. Oh Lord. Okay, well listen everybody have a fantastic weekend. We'll be back here with you on Tuesday. Forever. Forever. Never are we leaving. It's gonna go on forever and ever. We just love you to death.

Thank you so much. For all the kind words, stick with us. It's gonna get better. I promise. The show and life in general. Text us. 212-433-3TCB-212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas.

We take them all. Text us 212-433-3TCB-212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all. tcbpodcast.com. More information about the show, the audio, the video, and your free sticker. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok,

and youtube.com slash the commercial break for soon every episode of the commercial break on YouTube and Spotify video. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for right now. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you.

Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say. Good-bye. Bye! I get ass! Have no family to celebrate Christmas with this year? The commercial break is live the entire holiday season to make you even more miserable than you currently are. So put your Christmas pajamas on, gather around the Christmas tree and listen to brand new episodes of the

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