The Commercial Break - Rudolf The Sunburnt Reindeer

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

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On this episode of the commercial break. And then I look at my other kid, and they have, like, root off the red nose reindeer cheeks. And then I look at my third youngest child, and she looks like she is in distress. It looks like an emergency. That's what it looks like. And so I'm like, okay, kids, wrap it up. Let's go.

Let's get out of here. She's like, well, we'll just put some sunscreen on them. I'm like, it's too late now, hon. The damage is done. We better go. And they're going to be fried. They've been swimming in a pool for three fucking hours. Now they're sunburn.

Now we've eaten. They're going to be fried, and we got a rehearsal dinner tonight in like three hours. We got to get them upstairs and magically to bed somehow, some way. Good nap. Yeah, so we did. Magically got them to bed with melatonin. Exactly. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

The 30 in the morning! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, and the commercial break. host of this show, Kristen Joy Haudley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there on the podcast and streaming audience. Thanks for joining us,

a day late and dollar short, as they say. That's okay. That's okay. It was at a wedding over the weekend, so I took me a second to get back into the swing of things. You know how it goes. I had drinks for the first time in a long time. Good. A little champagne, a little gin and tonic. Okay. A little G&T. A little T and T, a little T and T, if you would. A little Tangerang Tonic.

I'll take a little T&T. Which immediately made me sleepy, gave me a headache and reminded me of why I don't do much drinking anymore. Your body was like, no, no, no, no. And when you go so long without doing something, it's going to take you a minute to get back up to speed. But that is not a race I'm looking to run right now, at least. I got those three kids running around, but they were lovely, lovely, lovely at the wedding. They did so good. I know. I saw that picture.

It was so cute. I know. Everyone just telling us how lovely and well-behaved they are, and Asard and I looking at each other like, which children are they referring to? But they're all drunk. They were all, not the kids, the people. So they were all drunk.

And so I figured, well, you know, they look well-behaved from those rosy-colored glasses you're wearing. But they were dancing on the dance floor. They had a great time. This was a knockout weekend for the kids. For Aserad and I, it was a lot of work because, you know, You got the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, everyone's got to get ready. And it happened to be one of the more beautiful weekends that I've ever been in, Florida.

I mean, and what I mean by that is temperature-wise, it was like 72, 73 degrees. Sun is shining, so it's warm. Pool is heated. Oh, perfect. And it's shallow. So it's no deeper than three and a half feet. And it's huge. So you can just let the kids go in there and swim.

And so that's what we did. When we got there on Friday night, we immediately went to the hotel room and went to bed. Everyone was downstairs in the lobby drinking. And Asser and I looked at each other, we're like, no, not happened. These kids need to go to bed. Yeah, let's start off on the right foot. Yeah, we rolled in about 10 o'clock. It was a little late.

And so the kids were getting way wound up. They hadn't slept at all in the car. So I was like, let's get them some food and then let's get to bed, which is what we did. Woke up early the next day and said, let's hit the pool. Let's go down there and grab some chairs before, you know, they get taken. Very busy weekend on the island, spring break. Oh, yeah. Big car show down there that they do every year.

Chris Dees does this big car, like antique car auction. I was going to say old cars. Yeah, it's live on TV. It's the whole nine yards. It's thousands. Some of those cars are really cool. They were driving around the beach. A lot of traffic on the island, but they were driving around the beach all weekend.

Or being towed by golf carts because some of them don't even run. Oh, okay. We saw like an old experimental racing car, the kind that would drive on the salt flats. with the jet engines on the back, being towed around the island. Actually, we saw it. We were stuck behind it trying to get some fucking breakfast. It took us only six and a half hours because we had to go the speed of a slow golf cart. But it was cool looking at the car for a minute.

And then I got frustrated. Yeah, exactly. At the car. Anyway, we get up, we go down, we have breakfast, we get back to the hotel. We run down to the pool and grab primo chairs and everyone's having a good time. This is about like 10 o'clock in the morning. That's a great time to get out there with the kids. But it had rained the night before and there was a deep, like, heavy fog sitting on the ocean and we're right next to the ocean.

So it was foggy, right? And so we didn't think much of it. And by the time we got lunch, which was like 1 o'clock in the afternoon, I looked at one of my kids and I was like, oh shit. Astrid did we put sunscreen on the kids? And she's like, I did not. And this is like so unlike Astrid to do. Astrid always remembers this stuff. And we just didn't think about it.

And then I look at my other kid. And they have like Rudolph the red nose reindeer cheeks. And then I look at my third youngest child. And she looks like she is in distress. It looks like an emergency. That's what it looks like. And so I'm like, okay, kids, wrap it up. Let's go.

Let's get out of here. She's like, well, we'll just put some sunscreen on them. I'm like, it's too late now, hon. The damage is done. We better go. And they're going to be fried. They've been swimming in a pool for three fucking hours. Now they're sunburned. Now we've eaten. They're going to be fried. And we got a rehearsal dinner tonight in like three hours. We got to get them upstairs and magically to bed somehow, some way. Good nap. Yeah. So we did magically got them to bed with melatonin.

Exactly. So everyone took a nap. That felt good. But I think they would have gone to sleep anyway. They were just wasted. Yeah. That sun, that time, tiredness. Think about when you were a kid. And you're running around the beach, the beach, the pool and it's sunny and you're it's nineteen eighty nine and no one knows what sunscreen is and your sun kissed and fried and burnt and all it takes is just a couple of a couple of wonderful hours in the sun and you're ready to sleep the day away yeah wake up with the covers stuck to your skin that's the nice cool air conditioning and like a fan maybe blowing one sheet over you and manage to get stuck because now you're sweating profusely because your body is desperately sounding an alarm.

That you had a fourth degree burn. So I woke up to go to the rehearsal and I started smathering lotion all over the children, giving them Advil. I'm like, okay, kids, this is what's called a sunburner. It's not going to be fun. You're not going to – it's not going to be fun, kids. But they did great. They did great. And then rinse and repeat the next day.

We remember to put on sunscreen the next day. But they were just, they were, they were great. Everyone was wonderful. It was like a high school reunion. My twin brother got married. He's got a lot of friends still from high school. That's what you were saying. And credit to him.

Credit to him having these friends for all of these years. And when I see them, they are my friends also. I don't keep up with them like Kevin does. But, you know, no time is lost when we're together. Like we jump right back into it. They're all lovely people. And Kevin asked me if I would give a toast at the rehearsal dinner. And so I thought about it long and hard.

And I was like, I could go one or two directions here. I could go one of three directions. I could just rip off the cuff. See what vibe the room and rip off the cuff. You're good at that. I was going to say, you're good at that. I can make it an episode of the commercial break, essentially. Throw in a few punches, you know, make a couple funnies,

and then see if I can jerk a tear out of Kevin, something like that. Number two is I could write something so I keep it under control, right, so that it's so that I have a framework to go. Or number three, I could just give a really short wedding toast, you know, cheers to the bride and the groom, congratulations on being, you know, on loving, whatever. You know how it goes. So I went road to, I said, hey, I'm going to write something. Get a little outline. Yes. And it became a personal challenge of mine to write a toast over the preceding, you know, four weeks before the wedding.

it became a personal challenge of mine. I was going to take it as an affront if I didn't make Kevin cry. Oh. If I didn't make him laugh. And if I didn't make him cry. I was going for laughter. I was going for tears. And whabam, wabangang.

I did. I also delivered on my own tears, too. There you go. I didn't think I'd get so emotional. But I did. I started reading it. And I'm like, oh, this might be true. All this stuff I wrote.

It might be true. Good, you know. Good job. Good. job. I told the crowd. I said, hey, listen, asking me to give a speech or a toast is a dangerous proposition for someone who has a twin because we have known each other every breath of our life. Right. And there's three buckets of stories. One, I'm not going to tell for legal reasons. I don't want to get anybody in trouble. Number two, the other bucket is stories I probably

shouldn't tell right now in this room with this crowd because I do want Kevin's future wife to say yes tomorrow. Keep those to myself. And then number, you know, and then there's number three, which is like just inside jokes between Kevin and I that no one else would get. And so why tell those? But anyway, I dabble a little bit of this and a little bit of that and there. And that was fun. And Astrid was so supportive and encouraging. She's like, you know, you got to do the speed.

Like, do, because at the night before, a couple nights before, I was like, I don't know if I should do this whole thing. Like, it's four pages long. It's a lot. She's like, you got to do it, Brian. You have to do it. It's really good. Like, okay. And she was so supportive and encouraging.

And I was so excited to have her hear me do the speech. So the guy who the reverend, they call him Rev Kave, which he wasn't really reverend. Rev Kemp. Yeah, he was more like the guy who got the internet certification. Of course. But he does this. He's not like just for Kevin. He does this for other people too.

Is he like a friend too of Kevin? Yeah, friend of Kevin. Yeah. And nice guy, super nice guy. And he kind of held court for the weekend. His job was to like manage everything, right? Lead guide the way. So at the rehearsal dinner, which is only like 40 people, maybe, 30, 40 people.

It was relatively small for rehearsal dinner. Long, big long table. So he gets up and he says, hey, listen, you know, at these kind of things, people do like to get up and give a toast. And a lot of people are too shy. And so people don't want to and this is not their thing. But you'll kick yourself in the butt if you don't say something. So I'm going to hand it over.

I'll start it off by handing it to Kevin's twin brother, Brian. I know he'll say something. And so I was like, okay, here's my moment. And I'm so excited to have Astrid watch me do this little speech that I've been ringing my hands about for a couple of days. And the second that Rev Kev says, I'll hand it over to Brian. My youngest goes, pee pee pee, pee, p. Of course. And Astrid is like, God, damn it.

You know, what am I going to do? They're only kids at the table. Am I going to go, hey, Rev Kev, can we take a pause for five minutes while we do pee-pee-poop-poop break? I'm on the clock now. I know. And I have notes, but they're all the way in the coat in the next room, so I got to go run and get those. I'm trying to buy time to get Astrid's. Yeah.

It didn't work. I had to start. I couldn't filibuster for too long. I'd sound like an idiot. I think she heard about half of it. Okay, good. And then that kicked off. Everybody else stood up and said something. And, you know, those are interesting. I think the most interesting thing about American weddings is that people do get up and say something. Yeah. If not at the wedding at the rehearsal dinner. Because some people are really good at it. Some people are really embarrassed by it.

Some people love it. Some people hate it. And some people are just really terrible public speakers. Oh, yeah. But they think otherwise. Do you know what I'm saying? They go on forever. They think they're good. Yeah, they think they're good. Oh, hey, everybody in the chat. Sorry, I just saw the chat. And, you know, so I'm not going to name names or anything like that. But everyone gave a toast that was at least had one foot on the ground. It was meaningful in some way. How many people gave toast? Everybody gave a toast. Oh, okay. Well, not everybody.

Like 20 people? No, I would say seven. Okay. Seven of us got up there. Let's see if my dad and my stepmom got up. My dad spoke. My stepmom was standing next to him. Oh, good.

The bride's father. Best men are groomsmen of all sorts and sizes. And then a couple of the girls that were with Carrie Ann, who was the bride. So, you know, it was. lengthy. It was about an hour worth of speeches, but it's fun. It's fun when you don't know. Yeah, and to hear the different little stories and anecdotes and, you know, emotionalness of people and the heartfelt. The heartfeltness, that's right. So then, you know, very busy weekend on the island. We're staying at the place called the Amelia Island Plantation. And I know that that word is very out of vogue. I'm just telling you what it's called, the Omni Amelia Island Plantation. And anybody who's been down there knows. This is a huge. huge resort with houses and condos and hotel and yeah i've seen that before restaurant retail all this

whole nine yard and so we go to the bar that's on the property one of the bars that's on the property and they have rented the upstairs of this bar because the downstairs is completely packed there's like an hour wait to get into place because there's thousands of people on the island an island that's not used to seeing thousands of people for this car show and other weddings and all the other stuff so there's this upstairs bar you have to like sneak up the stairs up the back and the upstairs bar is the size of this studio and there's 70 people that are coming 80 people and the people at the restaurant thought it was happening at 8 and we were told 730. So everyone showed up a half an hour before they were even ready to have us and the room filled

quickly and I've got my small children with me and I'm telling you what I do agree that they handled themselves very well especially as the louder it got. the more drunk people got and the more kind of surly the situation got, my kids, they're going to be great alcoholic. They just fit right in. I mean, they're going to be perfect. They're going to be perfect Irish. They have that Venezuela. They're perfect for parties. They're perfect for parties. They fit right in. They knew what to do. They were dancing and talking. I saw my son holding court with somebody. I was like, what do you're talking to? I love it. Is that my old high school friend? Is that the guy I first smoked dope with?

And my son's like, tell me about my dad. Yeah, exactly. He's smoking cigarettes outside. My daughter found a friend. One of my brothers is dating a lovely, lovely woman. And my daughter, one of my daughters, who's like a prince. She's 21 years old. Oh, yes, she is.

Yeah. She's an Instagram influencer. And I don't mean this real. She doesn't have an actual Instagram. But if she did, she would be an influencer. That's what she's doing. She's taking pictures like this, like this, and like, the whole nine yards.

So she's doing this whole number. So she found another, you know, Princess female, besides her mom, the Princess female, who's, you know, she's over there holding court. And then my smallest one, she's drunk. She's knocking into walls. She's unplugging stuff. She's running around. Yeah.

It was fun to be there and watch the wedding through their eyes, right? And that's, I guess, every parent will understand this. That's kind of what happens is that they consume. a lot of your time and a lot of your perspective, it's hard to shake that perspective when they're in the room. So it just became about watching them, like, maneuver through this world. Yeah. Yeah.

And I was really glad that, you know, no one got hurt. Well, they've got a lot of practice, right? Because they do. There's been a lot of Venezuelan parties that they've been a part of. True. This is true. And Asher was saying that, too. They, you know, they have been to a number of these.

I'm so surprised that my kids are at this rehearsal dinner and a sit-down wedding and this whole nine yards. and they're actually behaving themselves. And I'm like, wow. I think this is like the first. And she's like, Brian, we've done this a ton of times with the Venezuela. And I'm like, yeah, that's true. They know what to do.

They know what to do. They know what to do. They know what to do. They know that they don't want to be on my bad side. I think it's really what it is. They don't want to make daddy mad. Or mommy. Or mommy mad for sure.

We had this, we had the seventh floor overlooking the beach, which is really the eighth or ninth floor once you add in the basement in the lobby. There's a balcony on every room overlooking. the ocean beautiful place and uh you got to watch the kids when you got a balcony like that right sure and astrid's terrified that the balcony is like a breakaway fake ballot you know i don't know what she's so paranoid about like they clearly couldn't fit in between the the posts but i think she has it's just a fear yeah she just have like motherly fear oh yeah she says every time i look at this balcony at any of these balconies like going into the room or out the back of the room it just makes me nervous that it's just going to break and one of the kids are going to fall and i'm like

okay, well, we'll keep an item. So they're out there eating. I set up lunch for them out there, and I'm like, look in the ocean, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I turn, I walk inside just for one second to grab something, and I turn, and my youngest, who is the Hellcat, is taking French fries and throwing them over the balcony. And there's a walkway down below, and there are people walking. And she's just like, throwing them over the, yes. And laughing. Yes. And laughing. I'm sure. She was.

And what are you doing? Stop that. But you've got to be careful because when you tell her to stop it, she takes that as a challenge to continue to do something. Yeah. She's going to be troubled. There could have been a whole seagull swarm too. When we were eating at the pool, those fucking seagulls, they don't, they stand on business. They don't give a shit.

Nope. They're used to people. It used to be, we have been to this place a million times Astrid and I have. We have been to the, we have been on the plantation to the plantation a million, a million, billion times. I've been going there for 30 years to Amelia Island and to this particular place. And it used to be that they would, if you order something by the pool, the waiters would bring you something on a plate. Like most human beings eat food on a plate, you know, burger, fries, whatever. They bring it to you on a plate.

Then they started bringing it with a little cover on top of it, okay, like a in-dining, a dining, you know, a hotel. The bell-shaped. The bell-shaped thing. Okay, you got it. Now, they have these blue containers, like hard plastic containers that they bring the food in covered, and then you lift it up, you eat your food, you put the thing back on. Because if you leave it undone for one second, it doesn't matter if you're sitting right there with a thing in between your legs. Those seagulls are like, and one of them came down and tried to grab a French fry, and it sent my daughter into a holy shit tizzy. She was like, Dad, the birds are attacking.

She like jumps in the pool sideways. I'm like, honey, it's just a bird. And then I jumped in the pool sideways because I was like, it is. You're coming at us. It is big. It's kind of scary. Yeah, they don't care. They don't get.

They don't get if it's shit in those birds. Isn't there like some kind of something they can give those birds? I told you about the time when we were in Costa Rica and they told us at our hotel, please be sure and keep that sliding glor lock. Yeah. Things will come in. Sure enough, while we. were out having dinner, we came back in. The raccoons had come in, eaten in your food, had opened the door, the sliding glass door. We hadn't locked it. It was our first time. I guess we thought it we'd locked it,

but we didn't. Had opened it up, got into the mini fridge thing, like where there was all the treats and things, got the food out and left. And standing on business. It was crazy. Did they charge you? No. So we called to people and they were like, oh, God. God, this happened so much. I mean, so much. So now they refilled everything. But I had, like, a little birthday cake that they had given me. And, yeah, they kind of took a swipe on that, too.

Animales. I'll tell you what, those animales. I mean, I guess it's just survival. It is. Hey, listen. Where there's food. Where there's food, there will be animals. All right, let's take a short break, and we'll be back.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer they're. podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speak in a mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333-3-tcb. That's 212-433 3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode.

Or you can make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. Just as how do I turn at yourself? Are these two making sense? At least I didn't. So it's none of which are great. Girls, go pretend. girls. Go for 10 girls.

Get it. All right. DCV is terrible. I agree. I was watching the inner webs about all the, you know, the comedy podcasts. There is now a comedy podcast, mainly done on video, that is here to break down and bash other comedy podcasts. Oh, that's nice. I forgot what it's called, something about something.

But it's really well done, actually. And it mainly takes aim at the big-named Manosphere podcasts. Rogan, you know, all those boys. Rogan, Bert, on and on and on. And he was, the guy was doing, I wish I could remember the name, podcast cringe is the name of the channel if you want to go check it out on YouTube. And I don't want to give him too much noise because I don't want him to do one about us. Well, right, I was going to say, did we make it?

No, I don't think so. I don't think we have enough, I don't think we have enough clout to make one. I don't think we. Yeah, we don't matter enough. Yeah, we're flying right under the radar, and that's the way I choose to keep it. So he was doing one about Mark Norman, Mark Norman's podcast and Sam Marill, who we've had on our show before. And I liked him very much. I thought he was very great. Anyway, they're, you know, a couple of comedy podcasters and a couple of stand-up comedians, and they've been doing this for a long time. They also own Bodega Cat, which is a whiskey brand that they're very proud of. And they had on Gary Vaynerchuk. is another guy that I interviewed the day that Charlie Kirk was unalived, right?

The day that Charlie Kirk was unalived, I was scheduled to talk to Gary Vaynerchuk. And I have mixed feelings about Gary. Yeah, because I remember looking at him up, and he's the one that's right. He's got like, he's the entrepreneur. He had the wine business, right? He had wine.com. Yeah. He started wine.com.

He started selling wines online. You're right about that. And then he parlayed that into, you know, Business advice. Yeah, business advice, hyping you up. Everybody's a CEO waiting to happen. Kind of you can do it too. He's very positive about his messages, but he'll, you know, he's not afraid to bust your balls about something, cut the mustard.

But he's also very empathetic and he seems to care at least a little bit in his interactions on line. Okay? That doesn't mean he does in real life. That just means he does. By all accounts, seems like the nice version of Mr. Wonderful. I was going to say from like Shark Tank. Yeah. Okay. All right. He's got his hands and everything. He was also big into NFTs when NFTs are around.

I think he's still big into NFTs. He's still pretending that that's going to happen, that that's a thing. But they had him on. And it doesn't surprise me that they had him on. Everyone makes their way around everyone. And Gary all of a sudden starts showing up on these comedy podcasts, I think to get at the young male audience. That's my opinion. But I got to say, this podcast cringe guy was right in the sense that this. This was kind of a train wreck of an interview. And here's the reason why is because I think they brought him on, hoping they would bring some marketing guru on that they could have some fun with. And what it ended up being was Gary giving them like an hour-long training course on what they should do,

advice for them and how they should handle their business moving forward, up to and including his new thing is, Gary's new thing is, everybody needs to be an Amazon affiliate, an Amazon shot. If you're making content, you need to be selling things on your content through Amazon affiliate. Now, this is very interesting because about six weeks ago on my Instagram, I got a message from Amazon, a direct message. You are now approved to be an Amazon affiliate. And I was like, oh, cool, what does that mean? And what it means is that I could, let's say. You recommend stuff?

Yeah, look at this. Look at this cup. This cup is lovely. And then you've got a cut of the sales. Right. And then I could put a link to this cup right on the video or in the description or whatever. And then you go buy it and I get a commission on it. Some of those commissions are good.

Some are like 5%, but some are 50%, depending on what the product is and what deal Amazon has with those people. So Gary's whole new shit is that everybody who's making content needs to be making content 24 hours a day, seven days a week, needs to be cutting it up and disseminating it in every way in every place ever possible. and then also needs to be putting links in the description to sell everything that you talk about or that you have inside of your studio or around you. Okay. Okay. All right. Now, fine. So Sam says, hey, Gary, don't you worry about overexposure with stuff like this?

And he said, Gary responds, over exposure is so 1987. Okay. All right. I lost you here, Gary, on this one. There are plenty of people that we know. comedians ourselves that we know that we've had on this show that are way over exposed. They go on everywhere all the time just to make sure that their faces are still out there. But you're hearing the same thing over and over again over and over again from the same person,

the same 12 stories. You're over exposed. No one wants to hear it anymore. They've already heard it. And if they haven't heard it, they're sick of seeing your face. You need to take a break. There is, look at that Taylor Swift. Like that? She's smart. You know why she's smart? Because you don't hear about her right now. Sure, there's lots of people who are paying attention to her every move.

Of course. But the general public like me and Chrissy, I don't hear about Taylor right now. There's no album. There's no big concert to her. There's no movie that's coming out that I know of. Yeah, she's dating that guy and they're getting married or whatever. That might be on pay-per-view. Who cares?

All right? She is taking a break because her incredibly smart PR team, probably or her, sat down to them. It's had a big powwow. Let's do projections, a projections meeting where they said, I project, people are going to start to hate you. Yeah. Yeah. People, I project public sentiment is turning not in your favor because you're too out there. You have a break.

Give you a break, right? Now, granted, being at a level of Taylor Swift is becoming increasingly harder and harder to do because of the fractured media ecosystem. It's hard to be a Michael Jackson. It's hard to be a Mr. T. It's hard to be a... Mr. T. You remember Mr. T? Of course.

Remember Mr. T? Of course. What are you talking about? Yep. Yeah. What was that? Don't be a fool. Whatever he said, you know.

I pity the fool. I pity the fool. That guy is a classic case of over exposure. He was on the A team. He was in a Rocky movie and he was in wrestling. And then every commercial. And then every commercial. Yeah.

Guest appearance. And then he was on, you know, the Willis's. What was that? I just said something with her. I just read something about his daughter. She's like on something else now. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Well, don't make the classic mistake your dad did, which is all of a sudden he was showing up as a guest on every single half hour sitcom that ever existed for years. You just see, you just show up and people go, Miss T, and then he show up and go, I pity the fool, you know, the whole thing. And people eventually were like, I pity the fool that has to watch this one more time. No offense to Mr. T.

He was on every public service announcement. He was at every event. And you're right. That was back before the media was so fractured. So he literally was everywhere. Everywhere. MTV Music Awards. Videos with what's her name, not Tina Turner.

Who's the other one? Cindy Lopper. He was everywhere. And you know what? People got sick of them. People got sick of that. And they were like, okay, all right, Mr. T, whatever. Right?

He didn't bring himself out in doses. So Gary's advice is that in a fractured media ecosystem, you can't be overexposed because there's no way to, there's no mass media to make you overexposed. And I sincerely disagree with that. I sincerely disagree with that. There is overexposure. And if you film every minute of your life and put it out in clips every five seconds, you taking a shit and then you're selling toilet paper for Amazon, I can promise you. I can, yeah, squatty potty. I can promise you. People are going to get sick of your shit. No pun intended. They're going to get sick of it. It's bad advice. It's just bad advice. You got to dull yourself out in doses. You know how Chrissy and I do that? Four days a week for years on end.

This turned into such a train wreck. Sam, poor Sam and Mark were with him for like the first 20 minutes. But then it just turned into a sales pension. Yeah. Oh, God, what did we do? What did we do? Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up. Let's all the time. That's all the time we have for it today. Interesting. Yeah, you know, I think there also is, it's okay not to put out an episode. You know what I'm saying? Every once in a while, if you have a bad one, just don't put it out. I think that's okay.

I guess when you're Samaril or Mark Norman and you have actual things to do outside of your podcast studio, that time becomes more valuable. But I am of the opinion that if you have a bad episode or a bad interview. And when we say bad, our standards are already really low. So there are... It must be really bad. There are episodes that are in the can. But they're going to remain in the can. Because if we think they're bad, then they're really bad.

There are a few I wish I could go and I could take back to. Gary's not one of them, though. Gary, you know, I... I remember that day. It was an intense day. Yeah, because you thought about canceling. Well, you heard about it right as the Charlie Kirk right as it had happened. I remember the time, 3 p.m. he was supposed to be on.

And he said, let's get it. get into it. Let's just go ahead and talk about it. Well, we jumped on, and it had just happened like 15, 20 minutes earlier. The news had broke, and then he had just announced that he had died or was likely dead, right? And I jump on. Gary's there. And he says, how you doing? And I said, I'm kind of shook up, actually. He goes, I'm kind of shook up too. And I said, listen, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be upset if you want to reschedule this. And he's like, do you want to reschedule this? And I said, I think I can power through, but I don't think I can ignore what's going on. And he's like, well, then let's not ignore it. Let's address it. And I was like, if you're good with that, I'm good with that.

And so then we had a pretty deep and meaningful conversation about all of it, right? And it made me feel better. It really did because I wasn't getting the salesy, Gary. Yeah, I was just getting like a honest, raw. A smart, interesting, empathetic guy. And so then afterwards, immediately his people, his team are like, we need the video of this. immediately, please. We need to cut this up and put this out. And so we immediately got it to him. Three days later. Immediately didn't put out anything.

I was like, okay. Now, granted, fast moving story, things were changing all the time. He may have saw a fit just to keep out of it. Yeah. Because it got really out of hand really quickly. It did. And I can understand. He's got a brand to uphold.

I don't. So, you know, I was hoping for the big push from Gary. I didn't get it. But I don't blame the guy. Because this was an interesting, weird series of events. But if I had a dollar for every PR, you know, every person who said, give me a clip, a clips. Yeah, give that to me.

I'll put it out. Give me clips. I'll put it out in a text message to my friend. Okay, thanks. Yeah, we had a couple of people that put stuff out, but yeah, it was more the exception than the rule. It was definitely the exception to the rule. And now once you do this for all, you start to understand the game of overexposure, which is, when one guest comes in, when they want to come in on the commercial break and they want to sit and talk to you, you feel excited that you want to talk to them also because of for whatever reason, you know them, you like them, they're interesting, they're famous, whatever it is. But then you also realize that they've been doing this for days on end with other podcasts. They are saying the same thing, even if you're a really smart, good interviewer like Chrissy and I are.

if they say the same thing and then those clips continue to go around and around and around, same thing, different host or different studio or whatever it is. I do have to say, looking back, I think that we did do a good job of not like, this is your life. And so that gives more of the same answers and the same answers for each thing. We did a lot more of just like, hey, let's have a conversation. Agreed. A hundred percent. Yeah. I don't think we went down the same road a lot of people do.

But I also think that that didn't make for good clickbait, right? So for us, it didn't, and we didn't land any punches because we weren't trying to swing. So there was nothing on the end of that to like make a really good, solid, interesting, shareable clip. If I could do it all over again, I would do it the exact same way because I'm just not in it for the clickbait. No. Right? So, you know, it is what it is. We're not doing guests anymore.

So who fucking cares. Why are we talking about it? I don't know. I fucking cares. Anyway, did you hear about the guy who was helping the dolphins build the city down in Florida? No, I did not. You didn't hear about that? No.

All right, well, let me tell you that story. Let me return. I can't wait. We'll be back. Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her. or me or Chrissy at 212-4333-3-T-CB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something.

Anything. Or text us and we'll text you're right back. Promise. Then head over to TCB Podcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker. And we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break.

And watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid. Sean's in there holding court. He is. I love it. Sean's our moderator for you. Sorry, the fog machines are going in here.

Wait, we're not back on the movie. Oh, wait. Oh, that's all right. Why not? There we go. All right. Hey. And we're back.

And we're back. There was a, there's recently a story. It's going around TikTok. It's going around Instagram. It's going around your social media. about a guy who was found on a beach down in Florida. I forget what part of Florida. Tate, Florida, something like that.

Where's Tate, Florida? I don't know where Tate Florida is, actually. Tate County or something. I don't know. I can't remember exactly. Don't worry about the details. The dolphins. Yeah, worry about the dolphins, not the details.

Guy was found on the beach, sunburnt, crusty, having trouble orienting himself. And someone called the cops. These cops show up, and they found that next to him, he had been drawing intricate drawings of a, like, a city-like map on the sand. Okay. And so at first they were like, oh, this guy's drunk or high or something, you know, and the more that they talk to the guy, the more that they understand that he was dehydrated and seemed a little disoriented, but he didn't seem to be on any substances. He wasn't showing the classic symptoms of being drunk or being high, like, you know, the eyes or the breath or what. whatever. He goes on to explain that he's an underwater engineer, like some kind of engineer, an ocean engineer, or whatever you call it. And a marine engineer, that's what he is. I'm an underwater

engineer. I'm an underwater engineer underwater. I engineer water under it. Under the water, that's where I engineer. What do you do? I'm an engineer. What kind underwater? Underwater. I go on the water. All right. The guy starts telling this incredible tale about how he decided one night that he was going to go to the beach as he often does just to go sit, clear his mind. And that he's walked in the water to get, you know, cool off a little bit. When he walked in the water to cool off, a pod of dolphins came up. One of those dolphins started to communicate with him via clicks and noises.

Okay. And he understood the dolphin as if he was speaking human English language to him. And the dolphin said his name was Gerald. Well, that. Hey, why not? Hey, listen. I mean, Gerald's not the first thing I would think of. No.

I think like a fearless or something. Arpoon. Arrealea. Yeah, Aurelia. Gerald. No, Gerald. No, Gerald. Okay.

And that's Sisyphus? It's Gerald. You could call me Gerald. My friends call me Sisyphus. You can call me Gerald. So, okay. So, you know, Gerald's talking and he says, I need your help building this underwater city for our friends. This is already so funny.

I need your help. Okay. So Gerald. Oh, underwater engineer. Yes. Yes, Gerald. What is it? An underwater city, you say.

With a Starbucks and a whole food? But no chicken section. Fresh fish the whole way through. All right. Got it. Thanks, Gerald. So Gerald says, come on down and help me construct, help me figure out how I'm going to construct this.

Me and my friends, how we're going to construct this. And so Gerald puts Jason or whatever's name is in a bubble of air. And they go down to the bottom of the ocean. Where Jason is able to breathe. And he helps Gerald figure out how exactly they're going to get this done. And for three days back and forth, Gerald and Jason go. Gerald and Jason just traveling up and down in and out going down. And all time and space is lost.

Jason doesn't know what's going on. He doesn't understand it. But, you know, whatever. The city must be built. The city must be built. Gerald needs help. What do you want me to do? Right.

So, and then all of a sudden he wakes up and the cops are standing over him, and there he is. He's been three days have been gone. Three days have been lost. He's sunburned. He's dehydrated. He hasn't eaten anything. They take him to the hospital, do the analysis on his blood. And they find that while there's no drugs or alcohol detectable in his system,

what they do find is that he's got certain, like, high levels of nitrogen that you would have if you spend a lot of time underwater. And certain sea particles in his blood. I don't know. Don't ask me. Okay. So the cops chalk this up to we don't fucking know, right? Right? Whatever.

We don't know. And now Jason is trying to hide from the public because he doesn't want to give away all the secrets or he doesn't want to be, you know, he's a little shy. He's embarrassed that he got this story. Okay. Okay. So Jason and Gerald formed this relationship. And Gerald, the last thing that he remembers Gerald saying is, I will be back. We're not done.

I'll be back. We've got to finish this project. Go get some food and some water. Go get some food. Take a break. Yeah. Come back on Tuesday. I'm going to need you to come back down.

Got it? Yeah. Or we'll find you. And so, Jason is currently in hiding. They can't find the guy, you know, whatever. But they had a picture of them on this particular post that I saw. I've seen this post like six different places, by the way. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of comments.

Hundreds and hundreds of thousands of likes and shares. Unbelievable. Gerald. Yes. And people in the comments section are going crazy. Just like the comment section here. It's aliens. What do we do?

I told you dolphins are here. They're really ruling the earth. We're just blah, blah, blah, blah. This has gotten so out of control that the Tate County Sheriff's Office had to put out a statement. Nowhere in any record system of ours do we have any, any written or otherwise evidence that there is a document. dolphin named Gerald or a guy named Jason found on our beach. Oh, really? Yes. It's a completely fabricated story by a couple of people, by someone on Reddit, and then a couple people on the internet went and made it into a real. And it's getting shared millions of times. And I'm seeing

it every fucking where. And the second that I started to hear this story and it lacked the details of exactly where this was, what is the guy's name? What is his last name? You know, when sea particles in your blood. Sea particles in your blood? You can't have C particles in your blood. What are C particles anyway? Fault? Yeah. If you had nitrogen in your blood, you'd be dead. Like at a certain level, you'd be dead, right? I mean, just like all this craziness. Like, there's no detail, there's no color. There's lots of color commentary. There's no black and white commentary on this story, but people are taking it at face value. And these content creators are getting hundreds of thousands of people following them. And they're just telling this fucking bullshit, facetious story. And it

is a reminder to me that how careful I have to be when I'm out watching stuff because it had me hooked for the first like 30 seconds. But then I started to wonder, wait, hold on one second, a bubble, Gerald. Gerald. Gerald. I mean, when Gerald the dog, I said Gerald, the dolphin, Gerald. I started to get curious. But then when he said, a bubble of air. Look, anything can happen in Florida. We know that. We know it. So there's that. I don't, you know, the story itself could, I could, I could See somebody doing that maybe, you know? I can see somebody believing that. Gerald.

Yeah. The name Gerald, though, is a giveaway. I could, I think so, too. And the fact that they never named the man, but they had a picture of a sunburned guy that looked like he had been in a mugshot. Oh, they never named the man. They never named the man, not his first name, not his last name. They said a county, but they never named exactly where. Like, all the details were missing.

And that's immediately my spitey senses were up. But this is not the first time that these kind of stories have been going around, especially when it comes to animals. Now I'm seeing all these AI-generated animals. Like I saw one today, a parrot laying on a road all looks like it's dead. Somewhere down in South America looks like it's dead. It's on a road. And its friend is standing there, you know, squawking and the dogs are barking at him.

I found this parrot on the road. And his buddy wouldn't leave him. I tried to pick him up. And the parrot thought I was trying to hurt him, you know. And the parrot's biting the person's hand. It's like first-person camera view. But then they take the bird somewhere. And the bird, they nurse it back to health.

and the two birds are together and they fly off. And five days later, they bring a ribbon, a red ribbon back to the window. Thank you for helping us. It's AI slop! It's not true. Yeah, it's crazy. I was reading that, you know, somebody said, you know, in the future, you're not going to believe everything that you see. It's going to be firsthand accounts.

Correct. You know. Yes. You are going to have to see it for yourself in your own eyes, in your own world. Yeah. Because now the... Not online. Everything is getting inundated with AI crap.

Now I'm saying AI doesn't have a place. It does. It's here. We've got to figure out how to use it. But, you know, just these stories that keep on like repeating themselves and manufacturing themselves and our gullibility to believe some of these things. I want to believe that Gerald the Dolphin exists. I really do. It's not that I don't.

I'm not heartless. I want Gerald to be down there, building a city with a Whole Foods and Starbucks that we're all going to get to visit. And a little air bubble sometime. We put sea particles in our blood. We can all go, we can all go. But it's not true. It's not going to happen. Okay? But then I learned doing my research. Did you know that it's illegal to communicate with a dolphin? What? It's illegal to communicate with a dolphin. It's actually illegal to be within 50 feet of a dolphin. And the reason why is the government doesn't want us, doesn't want us. It doesn't want the wild dolphins to lose their fear of humans, number one. And number two, the government doesn't want us. It's been studied that dolphins are, extremely intelligent animals and that they can learn to communicate with other species like human beings.

We see that in SeaWorld and the aquarium and all that. And the government doesn't want us changing their behavior. So there's actually a law that you cannot communicate with dolphins. But I'd love to. I would too. Gerald. Gerald. Now whenever I see a dolphin, I'm going to think of that.

Me too. Gerald, the Dolphins. Yeah. Oh, I'd love to. I'd love to communicate with the dolphin. I know we had, when I was down in, Jeff and I were down in Naples and went out to dinner one night, there was this place that had outside seating. Yeah. We were having dinner at night and it had a little, you know, inlet thing.

Yeah? And all these dolphins were coming by. Were you at like the tin roof place? No, I'd have to go back and look at the reservation thing. What do they call that? The tin shopper, the tin city. So sweet. Like all these little dolphins were coming up.

We saw them where Kevin got married. It was on an inlet or what they would call an estuary, right? Or marsh, an estuary. And the sun was going down. It had just rained, so it was pink sky. And as the tide was going out. They were jumping. They weren't jumping.

They were just, yep, moving. They were moving around the estuary right there in front of us. I was showing one of my kids. Yeah. Yeah, it was beautiful. The dolphins are cool. They are. They are.

And they shall inherit the earth when we fuck it all up. All right. Keep your hats on. All right. Keep your hats on. We're working on it. We'll be back tomorrow. Same bad time.

Same bad channel. Hope you can join us. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. If you're not following us, do so that way you get notified when we go live. I usually go live and give it like five or ten minutes before we actually turn the music on. So that gives you a little bit of a heads of. So go follow us on YouTube And that way you can get that little ding-ding

Whenever that happens And we'd all be excited to figure that out All right You can also follow us on Instagram At the Commercial Break If you want to follow Chrissy and I personally I'm Brian W. Green She's T-CB Chrissy

You can catch us on TikTok 2 Also additionally We're going to TikTok You know we now have a new TikTok Because it's hard to explain but now in order to get the benefits of being a business account, we had to change our. It's still, I'll tell you, in the show notes, I'll link it. I don't want to get it wrong.

I can't remember exactly what it was. I think it's TCB podcast still, but I had to change it. And if you want to get a hold of us, go to our Instagram, DM us. We'd love to hear from you. TCBPodcast.com. All the episodes, audio and video. Okay, we'll see you tomorrow. Love you, guys.

Yes, love you, me. Candlecane, everybody. Thanks for joining. Okay, Chrissy, I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there on the podcast and streaming audience. Until next time, we will say, we do say and we must say. Goodbye.