The Commercial Break - Secrets, Secrets

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

Episode #633: Secrets, secrets, are no fun, unless they're shared with everyone (us)! Send us drama! Post-election emotions Mark Wahlberg’s restaurant caught fire Mark’s journey No one huffs and puffs like Vince Frankie Valli Bryan the lip sync reader Yes I DO in fact LOVE a shitty Christmas rom com! -Christina Crappy TV DRAMA!!!! A very old ask TCB Bryan gets honest Intimacy! Sex! Everything! Another AskTCB about SECRETS Wife & Husband Rules A broken penis! Semen-less orgasms Kundalini yoga Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fuck fake moaning. If he doesn't know how to rock your world, pull him in close and start booing in his ear. We don't have time for that shit. On this episode of The Commercial Break... I just started planting little seeds here and there. Yeah, that's a tough one. It was so tough, especially when I got drunk. And I made a rule. I'm going to do no cocaine around this guy, because if I do, the first thing that's coming out of my mouth is your girlfriend's cheating on you.

Because again, you only have so much to talk about while you're high on cocaine, okay? Before we dissect the lyrics of Oasis' Wonderwall yet again, let's talk about some good juicy gossip. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy! Oh yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green, this is the Ivanka, my Jared, Kristen, Joey, holy best to you, Kristen.

Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there on the podcast universe, and I sincerely mean that. We're all going to get through it. It's going to be okay. I don't want you to sweat too much. Yet. We have another two months. It'll be alright. Apply for your green cards now. You'll be fine. Everything will be okay. Half the country is waking up with a terrible hangover. The other half of the country is waking up with their truth social stock through the roof.

I know, right? I just read that the top 10 billionaires in this country woke up $61 billion richer on Thursday, on Wednesday morning. Wow. Wow. Yeah, the market went crazy. To be clear, I am not one of those 10 people. I am not.

I'm not even a hundredaire, let alone a billionaire. Anyway, here we are. We took a couple days off so we could get through the election. So you probably heard me yapping about something silly yesterday. And I just wanted to share with you that it's Friday now and we're all still here and everyone's still alive. And as Chrissy pointed out, now we don't have to go through civil war. Yeah, I guess it's the silver lining. No civil war.

I said, yeah, we don't have to go through it in the next three months. We're just going to we're going to slowly go through civil war. Yeah. I guess it's the silver lining. Burning in the streets. I said, yeah, we don't have to go through it in the next three months. We're just gonna, we're gonna slowly go through it over the next four years. Just be spread out. Yeah, here we go. Here we go again. Buckle up.

Buttercup. Be careful what you want. Be careful what you wish for. Yep. That's all I gotta say. Be careful what you wish for. So Trump will be the new president, according to some sources.

Oh. And we give money to morning quarterback all we want, but the truth is people just didn't show up to vote. Not enough people showed up to vote for Kamala Harris and many more people showed up. The people have spoken. And so there you go. And you know, we don't always win. And that's a lesson that I'm trying to teach the smallest of my children. And yet it seems like half the country doesn't understand that when it doesn't go their way. But I will share with you that I do trying to teach the smallest of my children. And yet it seems like half the country doesn't understand that

when it doesn't go their way, but I will share with you that I do understand that. This is how it goes. And so if we're still able to vote, if we're still allowed to vote in four years from now, I will make sure that we go do that. If my wife is still a citizen and my kids are still allowed to live here,

then we'll go through that. And that's part of the reason why I get a little nervous about Trump presidency is because my wife is a newly minted citizen. And one of those yahoos on that side of the aisle is already talking about denaturalizing citizens from certain countries. So, and I'm sure that Venezuela is in the crosshairs because for some reason, remember Trump came out when he, during his presidency was talking about how great Venezuelans are, we love the Venezuelans. We're gonna do everything for the Venezuelans, let the Venezuelans in, the Venezuelans are great.

And now they're eating the cats and eating the dogs or something, I'm not sure. But anyway, so here you are, and here we are. Together we will get through this. I promise you we will be here through every tough inch of it, hopefully providing a laugh every once in a while. Though it does- Well, the world is still gonna need laughter and music. Yes.

Somebody pointed that out. Thank you, Chrissy. Yes. And so now, Brian will bring out his guitar or the piano and play, I'm on my way, just set me free, oh sweet home. Because I impressed the Venezuelans with that. Yes you did. That's how I got to become an honorary Venezuelan citizen.

I think in spite of that. Do you know the funniest thing, and I know in spite of that, but I mean look who's heading up that country. The Trump Venezuelan. Venezuela's's heading up that country. The Trump Venezuelan. Venezuela's Trump is running that country. Did you know, I wanna share something very interesting with you is that, actually I'm not gonna share this. Astrid will get pissed if I share this, so I won't share this.

I will tell you off air what happened, but something very interesting happened on election day for us personally in this household. That, and you know, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I do believe it is what it is. And I also do believe that in some sense we create our own realities, right? And so we're here for a purpose, we're here for a reason, we're all living through this time and place for a reason together, and we're helping each other create our own realities. You're playing a role in mine, I'm playing

a role in yours, and all that other good stuff. And something so monumental happens to our family on election day that I'm not going to share here. Oh, great. So sorry about that. Thanks for the build up. Yeah. Well, if I share it, then Astrid's going to get pissed because I know this is one thing she probably wouldn't want me to share live on air. But anyway, okay, I'll move on. So, no matter how you feel about Trump and his presidency, he will be the next president. And, uh,

Chrissy and I have done this show, but we have done this show only for a very short amount of time during the last Trump presidency. So we'll see how this one goes, Chrissy. We will either be detained and cuffed into an internment camp. Yes. Or we will, uh, we will find many, uh, points of laughter, uh, as we have during Joe Biden's presidency also. So there you go. In other news, sad news coming out of Las Vegas this afternoon as we're recording this, as Mark Wahlberg's Italian restaurant in Las Vegas apparently has been set ablaze and is currently burning on fire.

I know. In Las Vegas apparently has been set ablaze and is currently burning on fire. I know. In Las Vegas. Yeah, I think it's Las Vegas. And it's the Italian restaurant, I believe, not the Mark Wahlburgers. Which as I pointed out to Chrissy before I got on the show, I said, you know, they must be very popular because I see them all over the place.

As a matter of fact, we have one just down the street from- There is one down the street. But I just can't bring myself to walk in and order a Marky Mark burger. I just can't. I know. A funky bunch cheeseburger. I can't, I'm sorry.

I just can't. I know. I cannot bring myself to be, because I know what's gonna happen. I'm gonna walk in there and I'm gonna get one of those Mark Wahlburger burgers and it's gonna taste good to me. And then I'm gonna be like,

I'm a Wahlburger kind of guy. I have to say, I never see it on the best of lists though. No, no, you never do see that, but you never see any of those chain restaurants on the best of lists either because those critics are way too poncy to put one of those on there. In-N-Out always is pretty up there.

Well, yeah, In-N-Out is just a sentimental favorite though. You know what I'm saying? I've been to an In-N-Out burger, and I do agree, they have really good burgers, but I would not put it in my top five burgers of all times. I just wouldn't. I would put Shake Shack on there. Shake Shack is really good. I would put them.

I would put a local place here, Lucky's, I think is really good. But on the top of my list, if I had to name my top three and I had to name a top one, I would put Fred's Meat and Bread. Oh, so good. Fred's Meat and Bread has the most incredible burgers I have ever tasted in my entire life. They have really good cheesesteak too. Oh, those cheesesteaks. You know, before I lost all this weight, when I was just starting to date Astrid

and I was living in that house, after my girlfriend ran off to California to trim weed in the nude, and that's all my guitar. After all that, no, I'm kidding, perfectly lovely human being. She's doing fine now. Everything's better now.

Everything's better now. She got better. And so did I, by the way. Yeah, what was I thinking? I was really thinking someone 22 years my junior was gonna, was not gonna leave me to go trim weed in the nude. I mean, the story she told me about trimming weed out in California was, and I know a lot of people who have gone and done this. It's a young man or girl's game, that's for sure. But apparently in some places, in some of the more dangerous, like trimming weed in California, still not legal for the most part. And we're not talking about like a legal farm. We're talking about like trimming weed in the middle of the woods and somebody's private property. Yeah, like Humboldt County,

where things are still very dangerous for everybody and the working conditions are dangerous. And they like have to ship portable water to the potable water to the top of the mountain. If you've seen that documentary, Humboldt County, that is where she was going. And apparently you would trim weed in the nude for two reasons. Number one, it was so fucking hot and there was no air conditioning, hot and moist, you know, wet with all the sprayers and all that. But number two, so you were not stealing the wheat. That was like the main concern. This is like a, like a heroin den or something. Like, first of all, if you- Yeah, you always see that on movies too, where they're doing the cocaine in the nude or in

bras or whatever. Yeah. And can I ask a question? Like with heroin I can understand. You could probably slip enough heroin into a bra to make a dent in the supply. But weed is pretty bulky. Like, wouldn't you realize, recognize if someone went up three cup sizes in lumpy tits? Like, that's just being honest about it. And so anyway, uh, what the fuck is going on in here? Exactly. When, uh, when I go to, when I was living there and I would go to Fred Meat and three and and bread. They deliver. We just had a delivery. Now, yeah, then when they started delivering, I would on three nights a week, I would get a burger and a cheesesteak and I would eat the burger and half of the cheesesteak.

That's what I would do. And they also make their own ketchup. Now normally I say, what is wrong with your fucking brain making your own ketchup? Do you know what I'm saying? Like what you think you're that good at making everything that ketchup is going to taste better because you made it. Fred's ketchup tastes better because they made it. It's the only ketchup I've ever had homemade ketchup where I was like, that is really good

fucking ketchup. Yeah. Some people might say, Brian, you haven't had enough homemade ketchup. Of course I haven't. Heinz has been doing it just fine for a long time. I know. I think I tried to make my own ketchup one time. It didn't turn out well.

Of course it doesn't. Plus I'm not a big ketchup person, so I don't even know why I tried it. Yeah. You don't have citric acid and yellow number six and di-glaminate, eskinate in your fucking cabinet. Of course you don't. I think that's tomatoes. No, it's not. And when RFK is in charge, all that stuff will be gone.

Well, I'll be eating just tomato juice for our ketchup. I could take the fluor right out of the water. So yeah, so Marky Mark's Italian restaurant is, and that got me to thinking, that fucking Marky Mark, that Mark Wahlberg, went from being a guy who danced with his shirt off in his underwear to a multi, multi, multi millionaire. A huge, huge, huge, huge. And took his entire family with him from the streets of Philly, which I think is where he's from. Is it the streets of Philadelphia? I'm not sure. Or Boston, wherever he's from. From the streets of wherever it is to, and I'm sure by the streets, I mean some bedroom suburban community. I don't think he was like hardcore street.

He wasn't too boxy here. But anyway, from the streets of wherever to... To the streets of LA. To the streets of LA, to Hollywood, to one of the probably one of the better paid actors, entertainers in the industry. I have to say I enjoy them in movies too. Sometimes. Sometimes I can get down with them. The ones that I watch. I'm not watching it, but the ones that I do watch, he's good.

Some of those movies I watch. And then some of them I just am not interested whatsoever. I loved Marky Mark back in the day. I did love that one song, Marky Mark did. I gotta say it got me. But that was the did love that one song, Marky Mark did. I gotta say it got me. It got me. But that was the time of MC Hammer when everything was just universally terrible.

And we all liked it because that's what we had to ingest. Because MGV was pushing it down our throats. We had no other options. You think I could dial up pastemagazine.com and see what the top 10 songs were? No, I had to listen to the radio until Marky came on again. Oh, oh. See what the top 10 songs were? No, I had to listen to the radio until Markey came on again. Oh. Can you feel it now? I can feel it too.

Oh. Good vibration. I need that good vibration. I need that sweet sensation. That woman that sang that was good. Oh yeah, she was good. She was part of the funky punch. Mocky Mock in the funky punch.

Gonna get in her underwear and scrunchy scrunch. Gonna hug you girl, gonna make out tight. It's 1990, alright. Yeah, back with, ah, that was a good time. Now it's all scissor up and creak. That was a time when a white guy like Michael Wahlberg could make a living in hip hop. I don't think he could replicate that. I don't think he could replicate that kind of success.

He parlayed it. Yeah. And all his brothers went along with him. Well, his brother at the time though, Donnie Wahlberg was in a huge band too. Oh, New Kids on the Block. He was actually kind of first and then Mark came out. Scott, it's hard to be first. It's hard to be first. Yeah, but you know, the New Kids on the Block are still touring. They are still touring. They went away for a little while. Well, yeah,

they had to go away. But like everything else, they were united and have now come back. The New Kids on the Block, and I know this is hard to believe. N-K-O-T-B. The new kids on the block, and I know this is hard to believe. N-K-O-T-B. N-K-O-T-B-A-K-N-Y-A-K-Y was, if you know, you know, was Taylor Swift level famous back in the day. And I'm not joking about that. Taylor Swift level famous. Could not go anywhere.

It was the first concert I ever went to. It was? My parents took me. You went to it K-T-O-N-I-B? Yeah. You did. N-K-O-T-B. Well, okay, I'm making a joke.

Okay, what was the song that they sang? Oh, God. Come on, you gotta know it, it was your first concert. I know. Did they sing any- It was young though. Yeah, I don't remember any of those songs. Let's see here, hold on one second.

Let us not be wasteful with our time here with the listeners. Let us dial up and N-K, New Kids. There were so many songs. I mean, you know, those boy bands, that's just what happens. They become, I guess, really the Beatles. The right stuff. The right stuff.

The right stuff. Ketchup, cheese and mayonnaise. Put it on your burger. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff.

The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. The right stuff. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, unlike Taylor Swift and just like most of these other like you know one hit two hunt three hit wonders they had to go away for a while yeah because they were so incredibly famous that by you know within a year everybody hated them everybody hated them universally hated them I was never a fan but I don't think I was the target market yeah and I might have been just a little bit too old I knew some kids I knew some guys that started dressing like, you know,

the new kids on the block. Oh, well, yeah. And so they went away. And then I think back in like the early 2000s, mid 2000s, they came back, they reunited, they did a tour. And then I think now they are again back on tour. How do I know this? Because on Instagram,

I have seen some of the reels of them live. Now, the audiences are a little bit smaller and the girls are much older. And the guys are now huffing and puffing their way across the stage, but I can't blame them. They're like the same age as I am. Well, they're probably older than I am. But I mean, some of those guys are huffing

and puffing their way across stage. It looks, it's like Frankie Valley. They're like, you know, rolling Frankie Valley out. Nobody will ever huff Frankie Valley. They're like, you know rolling Frankie Valley out So nobody will ever have been Bob. They're like Vince Neil. Oh No one huffs and puffs like vids Vince is but Vince is still a three pack, you know three pack of camels 12 pack of Bud Light kind of guy Gakes down my heart. That's still so funny. I think about that video You know, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow,

wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, to 50,000 screaming people just paid $600 to see me and take a dump on the stage with a backing track. Nonetheless, just let the backing track do the work. Why even bother? My heart.

What? I'm like six times my heart. That's the ultimate Huffer Puffer. That was my heart. My heart. No, seriously, my heart. Poor Vince. He's still kicking it all those times. But I saw those New Kids on the Block videos and I was just, I was amazed, I was bedazzled

by the energy on the stage. Very nostalgic. Speaking of New Kids on the Block, on stage, being a little bit older, have you seen those, I showed you, I think the Frankie Valley videos, the videos of Frankie Valley, that is criminal. Whatever is going on there is criminal. I don't care what he says. Frankie Valley, Google it. Put it up there.

Christina, put a link to a Frankie Valley live video from recently, from like the last two years. He's still out there touring. If you see this- He's gonna go out doing what he loves, I guess, though. That's what he says. That's what he put out on Twitter or something like that. That's what his guardian put out. I don't even think Frankie Valli has the use of his fingers anymore to let alone put out a tweet like that. The guy looks, he moves his mouth just the littlest bit and the most

amazing noises come out of it. He's singing as if he was 16 again. And so many people are like, and let me share this with you. I think that I am probably one of, I've got to be in the top five lip syncing experts in the world. The ability to look and see if someone is lip syncing. I've got to be. I've got to be in the top five. I know I am. It's the one talent that I am almost sure of. And as long as I still have use of my ears and my eyes, I think I'll be able to tell forever and ever always. I can tell when Taylor's, I can tell when they're you, you know, they have the Taylor Swift video on Disney plus and my daughters.

No, I did not know. Okay. That's because you don't have two daughters that incessantly watch that. I am 99% sure that 90% of Taylor on stage is her singing. I saw her live too. Yeah, you did. But I am also sure that there are backing tracks at points. There's gotta be, everybody has them.

Of course, yeah. And you're running around with the microphone, shaking it around and you might hit your costume or something like that. You know what those annoying noises to like go through the microphone. So there are points when I think Taylor uses a backing track. Okay, no problem. I don't have any, whatever. I wish Vince Neil would use one. But I can tell when I watched that, and they recorded two separate nights, I was actually at one of them. And I think I can tell when they're using a different track, the different audio track, right?

Because her lips are just a little bit off, just a little bit off. Well, let me tell you something, children. I have watched that Frankie Valley videos until I am blue in the fucking face and I have no idea whether or not he is lip syncing. None, I don't know. Even though his lips are just moving just a little bit,

I think I'm convinced that it's actually him singing. Now, there's auto-tune somewhere behind him. Someone is auto-tuning him. But I'm almost sure that it's Frankie Valli. And how does a man in his advanced hundreds sing with that falsetto? How does that happen, Chrissy? I don't know. He's been doing it so long. He's practiced at it, I guess. Yeah, but doesn't your voice change over time? Wouldn't you think? Let me see. Yeah.

Big girl, don't cry. Two girls for every guy. That's Beach Boys. Well, whatever. Okay, here, listen to Frankie Valli at 130 years old, or however old he is. I think he's like 90. Okay, here we go. Wait, one second. Oh, here he is.

Here he's giving, it's an announcement. Frankie Valli here. Check it in with you guys and see if everybody's okay. Just hope that everybody's staying in and doing everything they're supposed to. Oh, this is during the pandemic. No, we're checking in with you, Frankie. Okay, that was five years ago, geez.

["Five Years Ago"] That's obviously not him singing. No, that can't be here. Hold on. One second. I want to get one where he's like, oh, here he is. No, that's from a couple of years ago. God, Frankie. You want to know that...

I believe that is. I'm just listening. I'm not even looking at it. Okay. I believe that that is Frankie Valli, but which version of Frankie Valli is it? Is it the version from 1932 when he was actually singing as a star or is it the version from 2022 when he's 98 years old? I think so.

Yeah. Listen, I'm not here to cast dispersions. Frankie, you can answer me yourself. I'd like a retort video if you don't mind, because I know the first thing that Frankie gets up in the morning is checking in on the commercial. Yeah, he does. What's a podcast?

He's like Irving. What channel is that? How do you tune it in? Oh, good old Irving. I kind of miss that guy. I know. Swerving Irving. Anyway, I just wanted to say to all the Wahlbergs, I'm sorry about your Italian restaurant,

and yeah, our condolences. Our condolences to all the bottles of Chianti Classico that have gone. All your pasta fazoles. All your rigatones. They'll rebuild, Chrissy. Don't worry. He's got the money. Yeah. I don't care who's president.

I want Mark Wahlberg's Italian restaurant fixed, cleaned and ready for operation by the next time I come to Las Vegas. That's all I care about. All right, let's take a break. And we'll continue to get through this together. We'll be back. All right, let's take a break and we'll continue to get through this together. We'll be back.

Since you clearly haven't had enough of me yet, I am back to yapping your ear and subsequently into your heart to tell you to follow us on Instagram, at The Commercial Break, and on TikTok at TCD Podcast. You've heard these liners enough to know that we are desperate for followers, so help a girl out. While you're at it, maybe shoot us a text at 212-433-3TCB or leave us a voicemail spilling your guts and asking for advice. You can also check out our website, tcbpodcast.com, if you feel like perusing our catalog or if you're just bored. Now, let's listen to some sponsors because they keep me paid.

This episode is sponsored in part by Zbiotics pre-alcohol. Let's face it, most of us are not 21 years old partying like we used to. We have to make the choice between a great night or a great morning after. At least that's what we thought, Chrissy and I, until we tried pre-alcohol. I don't drink a whole bunch anymore, and I was on the fence about this one.

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to make Z-biotics your first drink of the night, drink responsibly and then you're gonna feel your best tomorrow. I kept hearing about pre-alcohol and I wondered what is it actually like. Now that I've tried it, I get why everyone is talking about it. And with their GMO technology, Z-Biotics is continuing to invent probiotics that will help the everyday challenges of modern living. So go to zbiotics.com slash commercial to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use that code commercial at checkout. Zbiotics is backed by a 100% money back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they will refund your money, no questions asked.

All you have to do is head to zbiotics.com slash commercial and use that code commercial at checkout for the 15% off. Thank you ZBiotics for being a sponsor of a wonderful morning after drinks and of the commercial break. I'm Jenna Fisher and I'm Angela Kinsey. We are best friends and together we have the podcast Office Ladies where we rewatched every single episode of The Office with insane behind the scenes stories, hilarious, and lots of laughs. Guess who's sitting next to me? Steve! Ah!

It is my girl in the studio! Every Wednesday, we'll be sharing even more exclusive stories from The Office and our friendship with brand-new guests, and we'll be digging into our mailbag to answer your questions and comments. So join us for brand- new Office Ladies 6.0 episodes every Wednesday. Plus, on Mondays, we are taking a second drink.

You can revisit all the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. Well, we can't wait to see you there. Follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Hey Torontonians, recycling is more than a routine. It's a vital responsibility. By recycling properly, you help conserve resources, reduce energy use and greenhouse gas emissions and protect the environment. Toronto's Blue Bin Recycling Program ensures the majority of the right items are recovered and transformed into new products.

Recycling right is important and impactful. Let's work together and make a difference because small actions lead to big change. For more tips on recycling, visit toronto.ca slash recycle right. All right. So a way to have something to say just to follow up from our last conversation on Frankie Valley. He's 90. 90.

He's 90. Okay. After 70 doesn't even matter. He's been married four times. Four. He's outlasted all of his wives except the current one, which he just got married to last year. What at 89 years old?

And how old is she? I don't know. Jackie Jacobs is her name that says married 2023. I'm gonna guess Jackie is a hot young spry 60 years old. My guess. All right. Okay. Well, good for you, Frankie.

I love it. I love it. I love to see old folks doing well and living their lives and being energetic because I know I'm right around the fucking corner. And so I'm hoping that things turn out just as well for me. I'm getting really annoyed by this curtain blowing in the background here.

Hold on one second. We're in the process, kids. We're in the process, just to let you know. We've just made these final decisions here. We had a big meeting earlier. We had a big meeting earlier, which consisted of Chrissy and I drinking our woes away, hoping that we're still citizens tomorrow.

Uh, we, uh, we're in the... We're going to make some big changes for season number six, maybe even beforehand, and we're gonna revamp the studio, which means you're probably gonna hear best-ups while Brian tries to figure out which wire goes into which plug. There's a lot of them.

There's a lot of them. Um, but we're gonna make some big changes, including putting all episodes and many, many clips of the commercial break back on YouTube and the other platforms. We were doing it there for a while, but then... Then we stopped. Yeah. Our video editor left for Paris and we couldn't find her anymore. So...

No, I love Morgan. I love her. I watch her on Instagram. She's doing well for herself. Good. Let's put it that way. Good, good. So, I was watching the other day. So if you're anything like me, Chrissy, you've been not paying attention to any news

since Tuesday night. No, I had to turn it off. Oh, I did too. I turned it off at about 10.30 on Tuesday night. And just, it's- I watched Jon Stewart. Yeah. And then I, yeah. It's kinda like going to the doctor for an annual. I know I'm going to get a finger in my ass, so let me just not worry about it until the

moment that it's happening. You know what I'm saying? Just let me ignore that I'm going to have that happen until the moment that it happens. And so I just let the cold water wash right over me. I tried to go to sleep. I didn't get much sleep, but tried to go to sleep. And then I woke up the next day and decided I am taking all of the news channels off my favorites And I'm gonna start watching what I know best 90 day fiance and all the other yes

I asked you I reached out to you. Yeah, you said which bad TV show should I start watching? And I said even though I've been shit talking 90 day fiance lately start with 90 day fiance the other way Oh the other way. Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was before the 90. I don't know. Oh, there's two versions. There's two versions. So, I think I said, anyway, whatever, who cares? I want to get to the point here. The point is, I've been watching that and this morning, I caught myself watching a Lifetime Christmas movie called Christmas Lover Anonymous about a girl in a small town. Why are all Lifetime Christmas movies in a small town and some big city slicker comes in and falls in love with somebody? You know what I'm saying? Every Lifetime Christmas movie is exactly the same.

Yes, they have a formula and it just works and they keep on getting bigger and bigger stars to star in these Lifetime movies Which is fascinating to me because they are so incredibly terrible. They really are. And I know lots of people who love them. I really do like young people who love these movies. I think Christina likes these movies. I'm not mistaken. Sorry, Christina, if I'm saying this wrong.

But pretty soon she'll be able to respond to us. But I think she does like those Lifetime movies. Anyway, the Lifetime movie I was watching was called Christmas Lovers Anonymous. Now, this was on at eight o'clock this morning, and this is exactly where this movie needed to be, is where no one was going to see it, because it was terrible. But I was just like wrapped into this story. You get wrapped in, I know. This big city slicker newspaper editor comes into town, and then there's somebody writing

anonymous stuff to this, like, you know, these anonymous letters, I love Christmas, spicy news, sometimes I look at my boyfriend's girlfriend, you know, like stuff like that, like, you know, but not like that, because that's a Lifetime movie and it wasn't like that, you know, these little Christmas notes that she was writing that were taking the, they were anonymous, taking the small town by storm, right? And so, you know, of course, I didn't see the end of it, but I'm sure he found her, they fell in love and everything was Christmassy. And had a beautiful snowy Christmas. Yes, and the snowy Christmas filmed in downtown LA or in the middle of Canada. Filmed in the middle of Atlanta.

Did I tell you, this was just two years ago, they filmed some huge, huge big time Christmas movie with like, I think it was Chris Pratt was the star. And anyways, they turned our street right outside of our apartments into a winter wonderland. Is this movie with Chris Pratt is coming out this year, I think. I think so. And it's called like Christmas Excalibur or something. Yeah, I think the rock is in it too. Yes. Okay, they filmed it right outside.

I saw a trailer for this. It looks terrible. I'm sure. It's like a violent, we have to save Santa Claus movie. Like an action movie. It's like Die Hard meets Santa Claus. Tim, whatever those movies are, those terrible set of movies, Santa Claus.

Anyway, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to talk about Kristen's movie. I was sharing with you that I'm on a string of watching bad TV for the last 72 hours. And one of the shows that I have been watching is this 90 day, The Other Way. And there's a guy in this story who's dating a girl that lives down in, I want to say it's Mexico. She's dating, he's dating a guy, a girl that lives down, no, Columbia, Columbia. A lot of Colombians on these shows. Um, and he's in a wheelchair.

He is a paraplegic, I think is what it is. He's got most of the use of his hands, no use of his legs. He does have the use of his penis though, apparently, right? So there's this, he goes down to visit her. This is the first time they're meeting, pretty cute couple. The way that he lost the use of his limbs is he was shot during some kind of drug deal gone wrong or something along those lines. It was because he was up to no good.

He was running with the bad crowd and it came back to haunt him or whatever. He's changed his life and now, you know, he's trying to do better and he's an upstanding citizen and all this other stuff. I like the guy. I like him a lot. But during the show, he goes one night with this girl and all you see the next day is that the two of them aren't there. Now you don't see what happens that night, but you see that they're not together. And there's big drama. They're in a fight.

They're in a fight. Here's the drama. They go back to the hotel and he decides or she asks like, it's time to get spicy. Let's get spicy. How do we do this? Now remember, this guy has no use of his legs, no use of his limbs basically from the stomach down. So there's a lot involved in this. And he says, or she says, do you have a condom?

To which he replies, no, I don't have a condom. So I'll go down on you. And when he says this, she says, no, don't go down on me. I don't want you to go down on you. And when he says this, she says, no, don't go down on me. I don't want you to go down on me. And he gets in a big huff, gets in his wheelchair and rolls off, right? Now, there's a big follow-up to this where she explains that in my opinion, he didn't ask me if that was okay with me. And to me, that's a more intimate thing to do than actually having penetrative sex. Like, it's more intimate. It's something that I would only do with someone I felt extremely close

with and I'm not sure I'm there yet. It was too soon, too much, too soon. And he stormed off and his opinion was she rejected me. I was trying to service her some other way because she didn't want to have sex without a condom. Why didn't he just bring a condom? Why don't you just bring a condom? Come on. Why don't you? This also plays a role in the new Love is Blind, by the way. When you get to that, there's a whole scene about he doesn't want to use condoms, she can't take contraception, you know, it's like this whole thing and he acts like a real fucking dick. The guy in the scene acts like a real fucking dick.

But you'll get there. So there's this whole back and forth that goes on and he, this guy in the wheelchair finally calls his sister for some advice and his sister says, I saw this. You did? Okay. All right. His sister says, yeah, yeah, I agree with her. I agree with her. You've been insensitive.

This is incentive. It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with the way you approach the situation and the fact that she just might not want to go there yet. Like your head is down inside your fucking vagina. Maybe that's just not where she wanted to go that night. She wasn't ready, she wasn't prepared, she felt self-conscious, whatever it was, right? And you took it as a rejection and you decided that, you know, she was being a bitch and you rolled off. I would say walked off, but that's not exactly what happened. Stop it, Chrissy, you're going to hell.

Yeah, no, sorry. You're going to hell. It was you that said it. Well, I'm trying to use the proper terminology. Okay, okay. He huffed. He huffed and huffed and rolled off. And so, this reminded me that a couple of maybe years ago, we got an Ask TCB about this exact same

thing about intimate sex, not about wheelchair type stuff, right? Just to be clear, no one's rolling off in this Ask TCB. Okay. Okay. Here you go. Here you go. Are you ready for this? I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. Okay. Dear Brian and Chrissy, I love the show.

Some of my favorite episodes are when you guys do mountain monsters. I have a question. I'm hoping that you can help me. We'll certainly try. Oh, hold on one second. I just lost it. I'm hoping you two can help me. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about six months. We've been intimate since about the first month, and by intimate, I mean having vaginal intercourse. However, I tried to go down on her a number of times, but every time that I do,

she says no. I take this as a flat out rejection and I don't understand why she doesn't want me to go down on her. Every time that I ask her, she says, I'm just not into it. No, thank you. But there's no deeper conversation as to why she's not into it. It is one of my favorite things to do. I am really fascinated by licking pussy. Cool. Yeah, cool, dude. Awesome, bro. And I'm wondering if you have any advice as to how I could break the ice or make this happen. Yours truly, Spencer. Okay, so Spencer, I don't really know anything about this because I don't have that kind of machinery, but maybe our friend Chrissy here can lend some information as to why some...

Listen, I know some guys that don't like blowjobs. I really do. And if I'm being honest, if I am being honest with you, Chrissy, here's an admission. It's not my favorite thing in the world either. Blowjobs are not my favorite thing in the world. I like them. I'm okay with them. I'm not going to turn one down.

But if I had to like put it on a list, it'd probably fall down below 8 on beads. I don't know. It falls somewhere a little lower than, you know, me having oral sex with a woman or, you know, some kind of position that I enjoy. So tell me, Chrissy, why would some girls maybe not want to enjoy. So tell me, Chrissy, why would some girls maybe not want to go that route? Well, I mean, I think it's to their own and maybe she didn't have a good experience in the past with it, you know, with past partners and, you know, and maybe within six months, that's still too,

it's still too little of a time for her to feel comfortable with it again, and maybe giving him an opportunity again. And it is a very personal thing. Jared Ranere It is a very personal thing. Danielle Pletka I think, yes. As is just, you know, sexual intercourse, but I think the mouth thing being involved on either end, guy, girl, whatever, I think is very personal. And so, I think you just need to kind of talk about it and be, you know, respect her boundaries and maybe at some point she'll feel more comfortable.

Yeah, listen, I know that you're feeling like this is something. Don't take it as a rejection. Don't take it as a rejection. It's not a rejection. It's just a personal preference. And I think Christy's right in my estimation. As the guy, giving advice to the guy in this situation, I have always believed this since I tripped on peyote 30 years ago. And here's, since my first trip on peyote 30 years ago, I had this vision about sex and sexuality. Sex for a guy is the act

of stabbing something that's outside of our bodies into something, right? But sex for a girl is the act of stabbing something that's outside of our bodies into something, right? But sex for a girl is the acceptance of something into her body. And that is a whole different animal than poking yourself into something. It's just a whole different animal. And I think, and I don't want to speak for women because they can speak for themselves, but think about this. It's a whole different sensation, the accepting of someone is the difference of giving of something. There's so much mental involved with women too. Yes. She might be self-conscious of her smell. She may just not like the sensation. She may not have ever had it presented to her properly. She may feel like her vagina doesn't look good.

Listen, all the same things that you probably feel when you are in a Roman bathhouse and you take down your pants are probably the same things that she might be feeling when you try and go down on her. It's a gift that she's going to give to you and vice versa, but sometimes gifts are unwanted. Do you know what I'm saying? So, just respect her boundaries, or maybe it's not the right time. Maybe it's not Christmas time yet. And just respect her boundaries. It's different for a lady than it is for a man. And your tongue repeatedly darting on her clitoris in some sloppy and weird way is probably just not what she wants right now. You're okay, dude. You'll be okay. Just maybe it's not happening in this relationship. And if it's that important to you, then maybe you need to find someone else. That's my advice.

If it's that important to you, maybe this just isn't working out. Yeah, I mean, if it's that- Also, pocket pussy. Yeah. Well, it- Also, pocket pussy. I mean, if you really wanna go there, dude,

just get yourself like a manufactured toy, bring it into bed, ask her, say, can we get a sex doll? Can I eat the sex doll out while I'm having physical sex with you? I mean, like, whatever, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Communicate. Communicate. If it is that important to you, let her know that it is very important to you, but you will wait until she's ready to maybe just explore it more. That's right. Opening up is a whole different thing. Like, the acceptance is different than

the giving, right? And so, us guys, we're the givers, we're the pokers. Like that guy said, we're stabbing with sexual energy all around the world, right? But the acceptance of something is different, and I just think it's different to stick your penis in somebody's mouth than it is to have something stuck inside of you. And while we may never understand that sensation fully or what it, all the things that it entails, we never will. Just give that a little thought, like a little thought, and don't be too pushy about this. If she really doesn't want it, just leave it alone. Get that sex doll, throw it on top of her head while you're, while you're stabbing her with your sexual energy, get that sex doll, put it in some weird

position and just go, go to town, bud. Stick your, stick your face wherever you want to. Yeah, there's the AI robots out there. There is the AI robots out there. Okay, so you want to go for another Ask TCB? Sure. Okay, hold on one second. Since I know you enjoyed that one, Chrissy. Uh, where did it go?

Okay, uh, hey, Brian and Chrissy, one of my friends the other day, uh, one of my friends the other day told me something in secret. I'm trying to decide whether or not I tell my wife about this, period. My wife, I'm saying period, like I'm talking to text. My wife is friends with someone who would be hurt by this particular secret. While I want to confide in my wife, and I always do, I'm afraid it'll get back to the person who might be hurt. Any ideas about how I can present this to my wife and make sure that she does not share this information? No, women are chatty patties and you have to be careful with any information you give them. Women will always blab. That's not true. I think that fully depends on what the secret is.

For us not to know what the secret is makes all the difference. Yeah, dude, it's not a very informative email. Like you're kind of leaving. How do you present this to your wife? Well, that trust your wife. How's present this to your wife without trust your wife? How's that? Trust that your wife won't say anything. Exactly. Yeah.

I mean, like I do get it though. Here's what I think the deeper question is. When you have a best friend, right? Or a friend, and you know they need to know something, is the trust between a man and a wife, does it override your want and need to protect your friend from something? So I go and I tell you, hey, Chrissy. I don't know. Let me just say, I feel like I totally expect that if I tell a best friend something, they will tell their husband. So do I.

Yeah. A thousand percent. Otherwise, I don't say it. I think that's husband-wife rules, actually. That's husband-wife rules. You cannot keep something from your husband or wife. It's just really hard to do. Because here's the truth.

How much do you guys really have to talk about? And if something exciting happens, you've got to say it. Let's be real about it. If there's a big secret running around the Gossip Channel, you have to play telephone with your wife. That's just the way that it is. What else do Astrid and I have to talk about? Another episode of the commercial break? Why do you think there are episodes of the commercial break? Because Astrid and I ran out of things to talk about. Exactly. Yes. Or Astrid just wants to hear it when she wants to hear it. So, the friend here, this goes back to the friend that told that guy,

he should have expected that it could be said to the wife. Yes. Here's an example. One time, I had a girlfriend that I had had for a while, and I was good friends with this guy. This guy was dating one of her friends. She came and told me that that friend had confided in her that our, the couple friend that we had, that she was cheating on him and had been for a while. Right? And please don't say anything. This was very tough. Yeah, that's a tough one. Very tough for me to do because I felt protective over my friend. Of course.

He was blindsided. He had no idea what was going on. He was clueless. Really, he was clueless. And so, I just found like little ways to kind of lead him on to the situation. Like, hey, where's Jenny tonight, right? Oh, I don't know. She's out with her girlfriends. Which, yeah, yeah, cool. Which girlfriends is she out with? I don't know. I think she might have gone out with your girlfriend. Oh, I don't think so. I think my girlfriend's working tonight. You know, like little, little, tiny, little things to kind of lead him on. I made him suspicious about his own girlfriend and eventually he found out what was going on. Now, could he have eventually found that out on his own?

Maybe. Right? But I just started planting little seeds here and there. Yeah, that's a tough one. It was so tough, especially when I got drunk. And I made a rule, I'm going to do no cocaine around this guy, because if I do, the first thing that's coming out of my mouth is your girlfriend's cheating on you. Because again, you only have so much to talk about while you're high on cocaine. Okay? Before we dissect the lyrics of Oasis's Wonderwall, yet again, let's talk about some good juicy gossip. Here's my advice. There's wife and husband rules. You have to live by those rules. The rules are what happens here and what's

said here stays here. You should be able to trust your loved one. If you can't, you might be in the wrong situation. I know this is very difficult and I know it's hard to believe that your wife would keep this secret, but I think she can. Why? I don't know. I just, that's just a gut feeling that I have. Well, yeah. And I think too, if it's like really such an explosive secret, that it's going to be hard for you to keep it from your friend or I can't remember who we're talking about now. But anyways, if it's going to be hard for you, go back to the wife or go back to the friend and say, I think you need to tell the girl because

it's going to be really hard for me to keep this. Yes. I think that's the right thing to do. You need to come clean. You put it back on the other person. You say, you tell them or I'm going to. Yeah, you tell them or she's going to. Yeah. I can only keep this husband and wife secret thing for so long. 24 hour expiration date. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to get bored at some point and there's going to be nothing else to talk about by six o'clock tonight. So you better share that information. Figure it out.

Yes. And my wife is a fast texter. There's a WhatsApp group for everything. So you better, you better start sharing information right now. All right, we'll be back. In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast and go to our website TCBpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now please text us at 212-433-3TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet.

Okay, one last Ask TCB. That is quite frankly a crazy question that I don't even know why anybody would present to me. Brian, I recently broke my penis. Had this ever happened to you, what did you do during that situation?" Like, there's a little bit more to it, but I don't want to go into detail because I might be giving something away. But basically he's asked me, have you ever broken your penis? No, I have never broken my penis, but I know people who have. Yeah, it happens. And the strangest thing is, and how this wraps all back into 90 Day Fiancé, is this situation just happened on 90 Day Fiancé also, is that, or at least they were talking about a broken penis and how this guy had months and months of recovery and that it was a bloody affair, a bloody affair. I think because of all the

veins down there, sometimes it breaks and you can have blood oozing out of your, I don't even want to think about it to be honest with you. I haven't broken my penis, but I've had it bent in ways where I thought it might be broken. It's, you know, when you're going at it, going at it, going at it, Chrissy, and it comes out and then it hits hard on something that it's not going to go into, and it just kind of bends in a weird way. That's a really, really painful thing to happen. But I don't think I've ever had an officially broken penis. I've had it hurt, but I haven't had it broken. You should consult your medical professional. Yeah. I mean, what did you do?

What did I do? I mean, what do you... Oh, I think he was trying to say like, what did you do to like get yourself off? To help it? No, like what did you do during that period to get yourself off? Don't touch your penis, dude. That's the thing.

If it's broken, you got to let it heal. You can't go right back to it. What are you, an idiot? You're a dong-dong, dude. Yeah, go to your doctor. Go back to it. Go to a medical professional for medical advice. I am not a medical professional.

And these are some of the STCBs that I get sometimes where I'm like... Medical? What's that? Medical ones? Yeah, they're medical questions, like they're in a medical emergency, what's TCB gonna do? I don't know. I don't know. What do you want to do?

What did I do to get off while my penis was broken? I don't know. Listen, I am seeing more and more that there are classes, online teachers, online videos on how to do orgasmless or semenless orgasms. Now, this has been around since time almighty, and I'm sure you'd have to have your head in a hole not to have heard of this, but there is a way to, there's a number of different ways to have orgasms as a guy without actually shooting your load. Now I'm not going to get into all the secrets here because this is a family-friendly show. The ancient wisdom, the ancient technologies of the Yavedic yogas, but here's the thing, Chrissy, is that you can do this. It's very possible,

and I have done it. It's a wonderful thing to go through. But I would say, consult your local medical Tantra yoga practitioner. That's right. Go to a Tantra yoga conference and it'll answer many questions you have about this. I've been to them. I've been to many prostate massage conferences. All right. True story. I've been to many party in the woods where we're all transmuting our own orgasmic energy. It's a lovely, lovely thing. And so, if you really want to know how to get off without getting off, you could figure it out, dude. You're smart enough. There's lots of books. Yeah, but I'm not a doctor. I can't tell you how to get off without getting off, you could figure it out, dude. You're smart enough. There's lots of books.

Yeah, but I'm not a doctor. I can't tell you how to fix your broken penis so I can jizz again. I mean, I just can't. Speaking of ancient, Ayurvedic, yogic practices, have you watched the new documentary series on HBO about Kundalini Yoga? Yes, I'm in the process of watching it now. Oh, you are? I'm on the second one.

There's only been two or three, right? Me too. There's been three. And I wonder if that's, is it like new? Are they gonna have more episodes? It's once a week. Oh, it is? Yeah. Okay.

I'm in the middle of episode two, somewhere in the episode. Me too. They send the girl to this boarding school. Yes. And this, oh no, I haven't gotten to that part yet. But I am really fascinated by this young lady, Santa Java or whatever her name is, Santa Java, whatever her name is. Yeah, she was a disciple of the other guy, right? The guy who started Kundalini Yoga.

There was also a big expose on like Netflix about, I think. Yeah, that was a different guy that they did the expose on Netflix. But this guy who started Kundalini Yoga, which is a practice that I know many people, many people I know have done, basically made it up out of thin, out of whole thing. Well, I was going to say they were saying in the documentary he was like a janitor in India or something and then he came to the US and wore a turban and everybody just bought his head. Everybody thought he was a yoga teacher and so he started teaching yoga.

It's so funny. It only can happen in America. Only in America are we dumb. Well, I say only in America are we dumb enough. Listen, it's true. The guy who started Kundalini Yoga moved to America with $35 in his pocket, was wearing a turban and white robes, and people thought he was a yoga master. So he became a yoga master, made up his own yoga practice that he said was from ancient secrets, ancient secret, you're getting technology, which he just started

picking apart other things that he had learned in the Sikh culture and then kind of installed himself as a God basically amongst men. Meanwhile, he was a customs official in Pakistan or something. I mean, it's insane. It's insane to think about. What is it called, Breath of Fire? Yeah, the Breath of Fire. Listen, I have done the fire breath for a long time. And I swear to God, it can get you high. There's no doubt about it, right? But I think that's from years and years and years of people trying to, like, kind of figuring out how to manipulate the body in a way where you open up your third eye. And listen, I don't want to get into all the

chakras stuff. You either believe in it or you don't. A good chunk of it I believe in. Some of it I think is just people trying to make a buck off the next person, right? There's a lot of that that goes on. There's a lot of charlatans and scammers, and then some people who I don't think intend to scam other people, they just happen to along the way. But there's a lot of this going on. People are desperate for information, they're desperate to connect, they're desperate for spiritual meaning in their lives. And when you're desperate for that, you know, you look this way and that way, and a lot of people are turned off by traditional religions. It's just the way that it is, especially the younger folks. I think we're, and me too, that are turned off by the idea that I have to walk into a church, give $10, and listen to some shithead, you know, priest tell me all the things that I'm doing wrong.

It's based on guilt, and you would like kind of guilt yourself into that. But the thing is, is that in the pursuit of some of this, some of these people become exactly what they don't want to become. They become like, you know, just priests essentially, they're deities, they're telling you what to do and what not to do, and some of it really quite ridiculous if I'm being honest with you, really quite ridiculous. And hurtful. Yes. So, this guy who started Kundalini Yoga, he had like a, they call it, he called it the Secretariat, which was like 13 women who would follow him around everywhere, running these multi, multi-million dollar businesses that he started because he had so many people following him for this Kundalini Yoga practice. Well, then,

one of these young girls who maybe or maybe even not ever met this guy decided she was going to take over the practice in Los Angeles. There is that question too. Yes. Well, I don't know because we haven't gotten to that part in the documentary, but I'm fascinated by it. I had heard of this person, this lady, this woman, and I had heard of her practices. Listen, Chrissy, we are much closer to this than you think.

I'll share with you off air. Oh, I believe. We are much closer to this than you think. Listen, Kundal you off air. Oh, I believe. We are much closer to this than you think. 100% Listen, Kundalini only goes so far, you know what I'm saying? And if you've been to a couple workshops then you're going to know who you know and you're going to see what you see. And you know, I'm not here to tell you whether or not that's good or bad or indifferent. I don't know. I think Kundalini Yoga is fine and I think it can help you connect in some

way, shape, or form energetically with the universe. But what that means, I don't know. That's different for every single person. What I do know, here's what I do know, is that I'm not going to sit around and start following someone blindly because they tell me that they have like the ancient wisdom, the ancient secret to connect with God, you know? I just don't, I don't know, I don't buy it. Dr. Wayne Dyer said, be careful when the ego walks out the front door that it doesn't come in the back door, right? And here's what I mean by that. A lot of people, some with the best of intentions become exactly what they walked away from. They become the thing they never, they become the thing that, not that they despise the most, but they are trying to,

not to be the most. You know, you try and get away from like these kind of dogmatic religions that keep you boxed in and now you're praying to some, you know, star child in the sky or something like that. And then all of a sudden, 15 years later, you're sitting at the top of an altar praying to some star child in the sky, shaking your hands around wildly, calling it the breath of fire. I mean, I don't know, it just seems, be careful. You have to be careful. Don't follow anyone. Become no God. There you go. And that's it. And that's why I don't give advice out on broken penises, okay? Now you've got the answers, Chrissy.

That's why here on this show, we are putting a moratorium on broken penis questions here on the commercial break. No more. Yeah, just if you think you have one, go see a doctor. No, he has one. It's broken. It doesn't mean broken. Again, go see a doctor.

Yeah, go see a doctor. I mean, I'm sure you have seen a doctor. If you break your penis, you're going to know it. I've had friends who have had broken penises, and it is no joke and sometimes takes a long time to recover. I can imagine. Yeah, so, but when you have a broken penis, at least you can say you were doing it right, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. You don't break a penis from boring sex, Chrissy, I'll tell you that much.

No. No, you don't. There's no boring sex broken penises. There's no boring sex broken penises. Alright! Stick with us. So much new cool shit coming to the commercial break. You're gonna be so excited. And at the end of the day, it'll still just be Chrissy and I here answering silly questions from silly people. It's exciting. We're gonna shake things up. Yeah, I'm excited. I am excited. I am excited Energetically, we need some new Kundalini. We're gonna bring it in the door. We're gonna start wearing turbans. That's right

We're gonna start wearing turbans and making granola that we sell at Whole Foods for $35 and ketchup Well now that the water doesn't have any fluoride in it, we're gonna have to start making toothpaste. No fluoride in the water. Let's start with that. That's a good one. Deport everybody, no fluoride in the water.

Sounds like a great place to start. So many problems on this earth, but let's start with those two. Right. Yeah. All right. So many problems on this earth, but let's start with those two right yeah, all right We'd love to hear from you two one two four three three three TCB. That's two one two four three three three eight two two You can text message just questions comments concerns content ideas asked TCB I have made a promise to myself that I will get to these much quicker than I have been I mean literally work We're reading these from years ago. And I'm so sorry. That guy's penis has already been fixed now.

No, that guy's penis has been fixed for three years. This is like, he emailed us, he emailed us when we were talking, when I was talking about the Turkey Gobbler. Do you remember the Turkey Gobbler? Oh yeah, yep. Okay. And I think I had said that, you know, like, whatever, anyway, you get it. All right. CCBpodcast.com, that's where you go. All the show notes, all the links that, you know, like whatever, anyway, you get it. All right, tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go. All the show notes, all the links that I talk about,

Christina will put them in the show notes. You can go to the website, see them there or on your podcast player. You can get your free sticker at the website. Hit the contact us button. Drop down menu says, I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and away it will go. No must, no fuss, no charge to you.

We're happy to send it. What else do I have to say? At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, youtube.com slash the commercial break. If you're not subscribed, please go do so, because soon every episode of the commercial break will be on YouTube. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say, Goodbye. Goodbye. The quadruple Fist Earth.