The Commercial Break - Sex Is For The Birds!

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

Birds are everywhere. Every climate and country has them. And Bryan has a bird sanctuary on his front door. Will Bryan save the baby birds from certain snake death? Yes he will! Krissy has a bird feed...er problem and the hawk is chasing Blue around the yard. Then the gang review Madonna's new insane NFT and wonder if she is taking the plastic surgery too far. Finally, Millennials and Gen Z's are not having sex. Almost at all! Bryan and Krissy discuss possible reasons why, remember the wing-wang 90's and wonder what's the problem....or is there one? LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Estimated round trip cost $14,000. If he flew commercial, it would be as low as $180 bucks. My congregation's world. I need to play. He says his jet allows him to better spread his message around the world, and it sure has taken him to some pretty nice places. I really believe that if Jesus was physically on the earth today, he wouldn't be riding the donkey.
Starting point is 00:00:25 Deplantus now wants an upgrade to this $54 million to Salt 7x that comes with lavish interiors. So for you that don't think I should have that plane, God told me to have that plane. When he didn't respond to our request for an interview, I met him at a book signing. Why do you need a $54 million private jet? We're not doing any kind of interviews right now.
Starting point is 00:00:50 I'm in a book. I just like to know why you need to keep your hands off me. Why are your people touching me like this? Because you need to work with me. Let go of me. The next day, back on the pulpit, he joked about how his security got rid of me. She gone! Fullter! I can hear her holler! on the pulpit, he joked about how his security got rid of me. She got pulled. I can hear it hollering.
Starting point is 00:01:08 And I can't back say what'd you do with it? He said I made her outside edition. LAUGHTER MUSIC On this episode of The Commercial Break. And I'm like, holy shit, what do I do? And I'm like, I guess I do nothing. It's a black snake.
Starting point is 00:01:24 They eat rats and mice and stuff that you don't want around the house But it's a big bad boy. Right. You don't kind of want to see it. The baby bird. It's okay if it's there. It's there. I don't want to see it. I don't want to be Know it's right out there. Yeah, broach things. You know, and the funny thing is that like I'm watching them through the window And I know perfectly well that a snake is not gonna come through the glass, but I'm like And I know perfectly well that a snake is not gonna come through the glass, but I'm like Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! The reason why is, because I want to control you rats. Now, go give me a tangerine from up on the counter. Bring it back down here. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:02:09 I honestly think that team mom kind of had the intended consequence of driving down team Birmingham. That's right. Unless, uh, pregnancies. Dating apps are so reliant on looks. Yet most of us are not fucking good looking. That's the truth. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Oh, yeah, that's welcome back to the live. I'm not gonna think I'm gonna talk about break. I'm Brian Green, this is my good friend, Chrissy, HODLY, and Best To You, Chrissy. Best To You Out There in the Podcast Universe. And Best To You Out There in the Alien Universe, wherever you may be or may not be. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this. So, commercial break. The only commercial break you'll ever need break. Yes, you only commercial regular ever need guaranteed facts news and fiction
Starting point is 00:03:09 Sorry money back eight Real quick. Yes, I am so fascinated that Congress has now taken up like all hope they have a whole committee on UFOs Have you seen this? Yes, they're doing like a whole thing. They have 144, I think it's 144, different video or photographic images that have been submitted to this congressional committee. Yeah. And they're trying to get to the bottom of what exactly in a fucking spot. And agencies that are trying to figure out what to release to or something.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Yeah, I mean, listen, here's my opinion. Aliens do exist. But I'm not so sure that they're flying down in the saucers. Yeah, exactly. So come down and hang out with us. And I don't think they're gonna make themselves that known. Like if they can get from, you know, Ion, one, two, seven, to Ion, three, two, four, in six seconds,
Starting point is 00:03:59 are they, the interesting thing they can probably allude, capture or display. Yeah. I think so. I think what's going on is I think this is probably like naval secret experiments, and or other countries, secret experiments, or things that just look really weird, but are perfectly explainable. Well, the optical illusion.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Yeah, the optical illusion. There's the one where the pilot sees like the three sets of lights and they're like blinking and he's like, well, what's up in that atmosphere too? There's gotta be some weird bending things that are happening up there. I have been up in that atmosphere on Ayahuasca and I'm telling you, I saw some weird bendy things.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Yeah, Steve. On all of my trips there. But I believe that there isn't other, there is other intelligent life. And what there, or has been, yes, something along those lines. But I just don't think that they, they could be anything, like an amoeba or a squirrel. That's what I was, yeah, that was bacterial or something.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Yeah, have you ever seen a baby bird? Yes, that's what they do. They do. Yeah. Shitin' all over your door. Yeah. Yeah. You just had them.
Starting point is 00:05:04 I just had them. I just had them. And I saved them from certain destruction. I don't think we told the story on air, but I get up one day. And I look and I see that there, I open the studio window like covering here. And I see that there is a six and a half foot long black snake that is curled up on the window sill
Starting point is 00:05:25 and I am freaking the fuck out. Sunning itself, or that's what I think it's doing. And I'm like, holy shit, it rained like cats and dogs a night before. So I figured maybe he came out of his hole to get a little sun away from the wet ground. Yeah. And I'm like, holy shit, what do I do?
Starting point is 00:05:37 And I'm like, I guess I do nothing. It's a black snake. They eat rats and mice and stuff that you don't want around the house, but it's a big bad boy. Right, you don't kind of want to see it. The baby bird. It's okay if it's there. It's there. I just don't want around the house, but it's a big bad boy. Right, you don't kind of want to see it. The baby bird. It's okay if it's there.
Starting point is 00:05:47 It's there. I don't want to see it. I don't want him to know it's right out there. Yeah. Broach things. You know, and the funny thing is that, like, I'm watching him through the window, and I know perfectly well that a snake
Starting point is 00:05:56 is not going to come through the glass, but I'm like, ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! He slithers. Ah!
Starting point is 00:06:04 Yeah, it moved. Yeah, it's like being up at the top of a tall building. I know I'm not just going to fall out of the window, but I'm scared anyway, right? So then I have the windows are open so that I can see the, the coming some goings of the little baby birds. And if they're hanging out in the wreath of the front door, I have this, this, this rob, house finch nest. There's three little baby birdies.
Starting point is 00:06:25 They're on the wreath of, it's a springery. They've made a nest on the wreath. On the wreath. On the wreath. Mm-hmm. Of my front door. So every time I open the nest. Yeah, mom made the nest. And now they're born and they're shitting all over the place. Every time I open the door, a little bird at baby birdies, like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I saw them. Yeah. And when they were first born, they did not look anything like a bird. They look more like an alia Right, that's the only thing I can explain They were listening there. Those were our three listeners
Starting point is 00:06:51 Yes For the podcast I gave them each iPhone So would you mind tuning into the commercial break on seven different applications? Subscribe on all of them Bird sweat factory Subscribe on all of them. You've got a bird, sweat factory. Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:07:06 Meanwhile, I said, you better, you don't get those other fucking house fintches over here. Make a nest and get me some more downloads. The breaker little beak. Ah! Ah! So, these things are pining for food. And now, and so, when I get to the front door, I notice that the birds are bouncing around the nest. They have now feathers and wings and they're flapping around
Starting point is 00:07:29 and I'm like, oh, they're getting ready to jump, you know, but they're really excited about something. They could feel the black. Well, all the other birds could feel it. Then I noticed the birds were flying in and out of the portico that I have in my front door. All kinds of birds, not just the fidget. That's where they are learning?
Starting point is 00:07:46 Blue birds, robins. They were all flying in and out. And I was like, wow, that's crazy. And I go out of the front door to go do something. I forget. I go out of the back door and I'm like, I'm not going to open that door. Those birds could fall right out of the nest.
Starting point is 00:08:01 And I go around, and the black snake is now five and a half feet on the brick wall of my house. Yeah, but it was hanging out on the side of the nest. And I go around and the black snake is now five and a half feet on the brick wall of my house. Yeah, but it was hanging out on the side of the building. Like it wasn't on the ground. It was stuck to the side of the building, slithering its way toward the birds. Yeah, turned the corner. It was like a weird how they can do that.
Starting point is 00:08:17 When I was a snake was on the side of my grandfather's car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we had to deal with it. But yeah, they can go sideways. They go sideways. How do they do that? that's an alien right there you want to you want to investigate something congress i'll send you some pictures of this snake trying to get to my baby birds so i decided to move into
Starting point is 00:08:34 action i got a water bottle full of you know like eco-friendly cleaner you put on like a your your coronavirus yeah i was and meanwhile I'm babysitting Mia. So in Astrid and Mattias are going to the doctor or something. So I got Mia in one hand and I put her down on the ground because I'm like, if the snake attacks me, I don't want her to get bit. So I'm trying to spray him.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Just jump. Yeah, and he does nothing. He's like, whatever, I don't care. What is that? What oxidized water? Do you think I give a shit? Please, I'm a snake. I'm hungry. I want these baby birdies. Yeah, snake. I'm hungry, I want these baby birdies.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Yeah, you're not gonna, I want my baby birdies. And so then I keep thinking, I run back inside with me in my hands barefoot underwear on, and I run back outside with a handful of oranges, tangerines, and now I'm throwing tangerines at it. I'm like, go away from my baby birds. Ah! Meanwhile, birds are flying all over the place.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Oh, yeah. And so then I finally son of a pot of my hand. I'm like, I got a seven and a half, a 14 and a half foot pool extending net for to clean my pool. So I run back there, me and my hand, you know, tangerine and one hand, me and the other, barefoot in the underwear. You've just got to the water bottle. The water bottle was gone. that was no of no use. I tried to display oxidized water on the snake.
Starting point is 00:09:48 I don't wanna kill it, I just wanted it to get away. I like not like, you know, hate the feel of it or something. I don't know what I was saying. And so then I go and I knock that bad boy off the side and then he curls up instantly and black snakes. They shake their tail. Oh, okay. When they're upset or when they feel threatened.
Starting point is 00:10:03 I didn't know this. So for a second I thought, am I dealing with a rattlesnake here? Right, yeah. Because it was making a noise. But what it was is they just rattled the dirt below them, but they do it so fast, it kinda sounds like a rattles, but then I realized that there's no rattle around the back
Starting point is 00:10:16 that the fuck is a rattlesnake doing at my house, right? That's not real. So then I'm trying to scoop them off the ground with the net and it's not working. So every time I'm just pushing them sideways and he's like, shh, yeah. but he's not snapping. He never snapped because apparently black snakes are like kind of docile. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Or they don't want to, they don't want to fight. If you give them one they'll fight but you know he's like, what are you talking about with that net? So then now I'm, so now I've got Mia in my arm. I've got a 14 foot pool extending net, pool cleaning net with a six and a half foot. Meal style, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, because I can't pull them up. I got stuff I'm walking with my underwear down the street with this thing and I don't know what to do with the fucking snake. I'm like, well, if I put it in Bob's yard, I don't like Bob very much.
Starting point is 00:11:11 So let me put it in Bob's yard. You know, I can't do that. I was like, Dick, he's got a dog, a little small little shitty dog that barks all the time. Like my shitty dog barks all the time. I don't want to do that. So I took him over to the, you know, the knoll or the hairy bush or whatever you call those little, you know, the hairy bush. The stinky knoll or
Starting point is 00:11:28 whatever they call it, you know, the, like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, to like a bunch of wild bus. It's one of those things you can't get there. You know, it's like a bunch of bushes like all manled together near a little ravine. Yeah, owned by the city, shit on by every resident. It's like the place where the extra sewage flows. You know what I'm saying? I figured that's a good place for my buddy. I want to keep him close so he gets the rats. Okay, but at this point, I figured we know Nico's not doing anything with the rats. Nico's friends with the rats. He's like the rat king
Starting point is 00:12:07 All right, here's what you do They think I'm dead, but I just smell really bad the reason why is because I want to control you rats Now go get me a tangerine from up on the counter bring it back down here There's a box of treats in the pantry. Hey, Rizzo, go get those treats, bring them back. Nico, Nico slept through an entire rat ordeal. There was a rat who was like walking around Nico, like it's pointing at him. Like, you better not say anything a little ducky.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Nico was like lifted his head up and then he was like, put it back down away, just sleep. He's like, if I played dead, nothing will happen. That's what I've been doing all my life. So anyway, so I take the snake and I put them in the brambler, the broskiter, the bush, or what if... The hairy no. You call the hairy no.
Starting point is 00:12:54 What the bush you know. I put the Mr. Snake in the bush you know. And me is just excited about this. She's like, that he had an adventure. Yeah, but the snake went on top of the bush, you know, because it's so thick I couldn't get it. So last time I saw the snake, I don't know, he was probably not still living on that sure as I was
Starting point is 00:13:12 carrying him down this street. You know, as I had, There's survivors. Yeah, there's survivors. I'm sure he's back, but then luckily that day, the three birds, all three of them within 24 hours, flew the coop. flew right out of the way.
Starting point is 00:13:24 And Astrid was like, immediately took that thing down. Because they started, you know, the poops got to go somewhere and the poops started going up against the door. It was really disgusting. You know, birds carried disease and stuff like that. So as cute as they were and as nice of a social, you know,
Starting point is 00:13:37 the science experiment, life science experiment as we had going on my house, my kids weren't interested. Once they saw what a baby bird really looks like, my son was like no Speaking of birds we've got a bird feeder that we have put on our porch and Loved it for a while. It was so cute. We saw little baby birds too like the mom was coming up and like showing them This is where you eat. Oh, that's cool. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:14:05 But now we're in our second year of having this feeder. And there's fights out there now. Oh, they like peck at each other? They fight each other to get to the feeder and like they're very territorial over this feeder. Yeah. And we have to close the door sometimes. Like it could be really nice morning,
Starting point is 00:14:21 but they are out there. Right, right, right, right. You see them fighting midair? Yeah. Like nose diving and stuff? Yeah, it's weird. In Georgia, and I think in most places, we have these red tail hawks.
Starting point is 00:14:33 They are huge. Their wingspan is like six foot. They're big and they can pick up small dogs. And they have picked up small dogs. And so we have a NASA family of them that live apparently, like, live in families, right? It's we have a family of them that apparently they live in families, right? And so we have a family of them that lives in one of the trees, like, you know,
Starting point is 00:14:49 over our Byron neighbor's house. I don't know, a couple hundred yards away or whatever. And they are, that red tailhawk we have caught in my yard many times and I've seen him pick up baby squirrels and I've seen him pick up chipmunks and I hope he picks up blue someday. And so, and I know where the dog went officer
Starting point is 00:15:06 and so this thing just flies around Officer God the police out Mr. Brain, step out of the house Swing your hands up and blue's leashed down on the ground, sir. Where is blue? Hello! Hey!
Starting point is 00:15:29 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Come to our attention that you were holding blue above your head. Wow, the hawk. With pieces of raw meat and one of those hawk hands, you know, the big leather gloves
Starting point is 00:15:45 that call the hawks. Yes. Yes. You will have pictures of it, Mr. Green. Wasn't me. You were saying you were the first to say it. The Congress is doing an investigation. That's right.
Starting point is 00:15:58 This way to the findings come out. Sir, please step outside so we can shoot you on our. Thank you, sir. Love our police officers right here. Um, so, so these right now, Falcon rain, I did that. I'm at the built more. Oh, you did. Yeah, they had a whole program. Yeah, my sister and I went up when I was like, we got to do the Falcon rain here at the Chattahoochee National Nature Center. Yeah, you put the big love on. Yeah, and
Starting point is 00:16:19 then they, they, they teach you how to call on. Yeah, come back. And then yeah, that's so cool. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, it's cool. Here's the Chattah de la Gignature Center, they have a whole aviary, right? Like bird and sanctuary or whatever. And they have all different kinds of hawks and owls and all this stuff. And when we were there, I've never been there before,
Starting point is 00:16:35 but we were there last year, we took our kids there with some family members. We were there. There was a guy walking around, he had one of those things on, right? And he had a whole basket full of something. And so he would take the basket and he would put the food on top of the, you know, stick it to the whatever was on the top of the arm.
Starting point is 00:16:50 And he would do, he was walking around the place and different kind of birds would fly and just grab stuff off his thing. And I was like, it's so fucking badass, dude. And meanwhile, those birds are mean. Oh, yeah. I mean, usually the claws. Yeah, the owls. Yeah, the night owls. Yeah, the owls. Like, yeah. Yeah, the night owls.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Yeah, it was crazy. So these hawks, they fly around and they grab stuff. And I think they were hunting for baby birdies last year because I saw literally like Tom Cruise, top gun style fighting going outside my house. And there were like finches and robins and blue bird. They were all involved in this like chasing this hawk and the hawk was like
Starting point is 00:17:25 get away and I was like that is so fucking cool I hope somebody dies and I can watch it and I got my primal instinct going you know I was such a pussy I was like no I wanted to be really die no no of course not because then I get the police called on me oh yeah okay anyway it's I was gonna tell another story, but anyway,
Starting point is 00:17:45 I don't wanna go there. There are lots of bird stories for some reason. Yeah, I don't know, full of bird stories today. I'm feeling birdy. Yeah. I think I'm getting extra birdy today. What could I tell you? Welcome to the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Where nothing makes sense and everything goes sideways. Yes. I have a whole list of things to talk about. Not one of them has been checked off. We're 17 minutes and 31 seconds into the episode. Hey, but we're doing good because we're going to get to number one right now. Okay. And usually it's about 37 minutes in before we get to number one. Hey commercial breakers, best to all of you who have been leaving wonderful podcast reviews
Starting point is 00:18:22 on your favorite podcast player, especially all those who are using Apple. We really appreciate it. We've been deluged by wonderful comments and reviews, and we couldn't be more grateful if you're one of those. If you're not, could you take just a few minutes and leave us a podcast review, comments or rating on your favorite podcast player? Almost all of them have some version of rating or review.
Starting point is 00:18:44 It helps us grow the show. It'll make you feel better and it'll tickle all of our pickles. Thanks so much. Hey, 661-237-8296 is where you can leave us a text message or a voicemail and we want to hear for you. Comments, questions, concerns or content ideas, let us know by sending us a text or leaving us a voicemail at 661, the word best, the number two, Y-O-Yo.
Starting point is 00:19:07 That's 661, best to you, and go to tcbpodcast.com. You'll find all the audio and all the video right there at one location. You can now connect with us on social media at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Still, the only place to find all of the video content and exclusives you cannot find anywhere else. We're gonna take a short break to hear from our sponsors. Please use their specialized URLs and or codes
Starting point is 00:19:34 if you're ever in the market for their products or services. We certainly would appreciate it. We know our sponsors would too. We'll be right back with this episode of The Commercial Break. you, we'll be right back with this episode of The Commercial Break. I absolutely love it when a sponsor comes on this program that I am extremely familiar with, and this is one of them. Credit Karma for 10 years. That application has been on my phone.
Starting point is 00:19:58 I get to check my credit frequently, I'm updated on all my financial comings and goings, and the last few credit cards that I have gotten I have gotten directly through credit karma and let me explain how that happens Credit karma make sure that you apply for the right credit card for your financial situation credit karma has done it again It's one of my favorite applications now. I've got a bunch of credit cards because of credit karma No more wondering whether or not I'm going to be approved for the credit card, I already understand with confidence whether or not that credit card is coming my way. Sometimes it's hard to choose the credit card you want because of all the offers that
Starting point is 00:20:35 come in the mail. No more. Credit Karma's got you covered. Ben rejected for a credit card. I have two. No more credit karma's got you covered. Their Karma confidence technology is helping members apply with more confidence and that includes me. Credit Karma uses your credit
Starting point is 00:20:50 profile to show you offers that are tailored to your financial situation and best of all. Credit Karma uses your credit data to show you the chances of your approval before you even apply. Are you ready to find the card for you? Head to Credit Karma and check out your personalized mix of offers today. Go to credit karma dot com or download the credit Apply. no Chrissy uses it too. Download the credit karma app today or go to credit karma.com. Okay, Madonna's NFT. Have you heard about this? No, I have. Do you know what an NFT is?
Starting point is 00:21:32 I do. You do? A non-fungible token. That's right, which basically means non-replaceable token. And it's a piece of something. Digital. It's digital.
Starting point is 00:21:41 And it's a piece of art. It's a piece of music. It's anything. And the a piece of art, it's a piece of music, it's anything. And the contract is recorded on the blockchain, which is also where Bitcoin and all this other stuff is recorded. So that's the best explanation you're going to get from you here at the commercial break. There's lots of people who do it much better on the internet, but it's a non-fugible token. And what's really popular right now is art, original art that is in the digital format, that is exchanged through the blockchain.
Starting point is 00:22:05 So the owner only has the copy, the only legitimate copy, even though there are many copies made around the world, the only real copy, the only real piece of original artwork is the owner who buys it digitally. Madonna has decided to get in this game. I just don't get it though, because then how are you showing it to people just on your computer? No, I mean, it doesn't mean that you can't... You? No, I mean, it doesn't mean that you just own it. Yeah, it doesn't mean that you can't,
Starting point is 00:22:28 or you have to put it in the meta world, don't you? No. It all is going back to the meta. I don't understand every single thing about it, but let's say that Brian decided to show the full NFT, Madonna NFT on the commercial break. Okay. It's possible that whoever gets the rights to that could come after me and say,
Starting point is 00:22:46 I want whatever profit you made on that video. And then I would laugh and say, seven cents is yours, my friends. I would say, congratulations to you. So you're the brand new owner of $20,000 worth of debt and some shitty podcast equipment. $9,000 worth of debt and some shitty podcast equipment. But it's theoretical that it's like the person who bought the video, I bit Charlie, bit me, someone bought that video, the original video, the digital rights to that video for
Starting point is 00:23:21 like $500,000. Yeah, but it actually wasn't a person. It was a company that paid that. You know what they did? Because now they can put it up on YouTube and they can make their money back by running it by people playing it over and over again. It's one of the most popular videos
Starting point is 00:23:33 ever on the internet. It's, you know, Charlie bit me. Anyway, so there's original art, there's music. We could do a podcast. We could put it in NFT form. We could send it to Will the Champ. He could buy it for $500. And then Will could go resell it to a bunch of commercial break listeners and to which I would say good luck with that sir My brain stopped
Starting point is 00:23:55 Yeah, I think you know about it when you said 500 dollars Does not compute. Come on, show break plus money. Does not make sense, sir? Please re-enter input. You get the real of death. So Madonna makes Madonna hooks up with this guy named Beeple. Okay. And Beeple's the guy who did that original piece of art, one of the first NFTs that sold for a lot of money. So for $69 million. Was that the one where it was into each day? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:33 It was a different thing. That looked cool. That looked cool. Yeah. Whatever you're into. I don't know, $69 million. Box for it. But okay.
Starting point is 00:24:39 So Madonna hooks up with this Beeple guy. How safe we can do a trade. 17,000 years worth of the commercial break for one people. This commercial break brought to you by a people. On my 99th birthday, I'd like to say that commercial break and people. We finally completed our discussion. Loved Dessani Water. People's like, I got to make my money back. Pitch Dessani. Dessani Water.
Starting point is 00:25:11 It's perfect for animals and other stuff you want to do with water. So Madonna hooks up with people they make this NFT. The NFT is highly graphic. It is extraordinarily graphic. Here's the effect. I'm going to show you. Ready? Go to youtube. It is extraordinarily graphic. Here's that thing. I'm gonna show you. Ready? Okay. Go to youtube.com slash.com.
Starting point is 00:25:28 I told you, okay, here we go. Madonna. Look at this. Wow. Wow. Now, this is a video. I can't play the video, obviously, because it's an NFT that's yet to be sold, and I don't think there's a full video out there. I haven't seen it.
Starting point is 00:25:43 There's a tree coming out of her. There's a tree coming out of her. She's a tree coming out of her vagina. And this is a 3D model, like actual, they put her in a one of those, you know, modeling shops or whatever. And they spun a computer laser around her. She's got a bruise in her leg. Like, she has a bruise on her leg. Yes, that's how real I know. It's because she's 97. And apparently trees grow out of her vagina. There are trees and centipedes and flowers that come out of her vagina during this. This is being described.
Starting point is 00:26:13 And it is extremely graphic because it shows her vagina in full. She's just going all out. She, yeah. And her boobs are showing now. If your 79, 100 years old or however, Madonna is now if you're seven nine hundred and up the years old and You want to get naked in any age if you want to get naked get naked sell it go for it girl I love it you look great. Oh, 18 over 18. Yes, please. Oh, right. I'll be on this show
Starting point is 00:26:43 You look great. And I think, and I think you're one of the original like innovators when it comes to the Omelette. Shock pop. Shock pop. I just love it. You have pushed so many envelopes. You have opened so many doors for so many people, so many women.
Starting point is 00:26:58 And I love it, Madonna. I love you. I do not for the life of me understand why a tree is coming out of your Madonna. I cannot understand for the life of me. She says it's supposed to be the mother of all creation. Mother of all creation. Is that the vagina is the mother of all creation? That's true.
Starting point is 00:27:15 I get it. Again, you know, I and I, a waska thing, I think if you really want to go there, this feels to me like acid is the best drug to take while you're watching Madonna's new NFT that you just paid $38 million for. But I mean, this is like, yeah, I would maybe provide that she skipped to this versus where she's been lightly with the butt stuff. Oh, yeah, she's been showing her ass all over the place.
Starting point is 00:27:39 And she's got butt implants. She does? She has butt implants. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, God, Madonna. That look good. She's chasing father does. Yes. She has a butt implants. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh God. Madonna. That's the look. She's chasing father time. Yeah. You know, here's the thing. Madonna was a really good looking woman. Oh my God. It still is. Like she doesn't need the bottom. Yeah. She says famous as, you know, Marilyn Monroe. Mm-hmm. If not more famous, Madonna is
Starting point is 00:28:00 a original beauty. The Mona Lisa, Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, Jane Mann's field. These are women who just threw beauty transcends time. Yes, Chrissy. Chrissy, holy. Frying green in his wig. Astrid. Astrid, certainly. Astrid's at the top of that.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Astrid's at the top. She'll never show her face anywhere, but you know, okay, get it. But you know what I'm saying? One of the famous beauties. Absolutely. Right? For all the right reasons, and then I'm sure, you know, in some men's mind for all the wrong reasons,
Starting point is 00:28:30 but that's neither here nor there. She empowered herself to just be a beautiful, sexualized creature like all of us are, and she had no bones that she made no bones about it. She went there, she did it all over the place. Yeah. But she is now chasing father time, like a lot of people do
Starting point is 00:28:46 toward the end, you know, when they're like, well, I wanna be that person again. I know. I wanna be that girl again, right? And I don't get it. I just don't get it. Yeah, something that's not good. To each the wrong, I mean, she wants to get budding plants,
Starting point is 00:28:57 budding plants, budding plants. But budding plants at 70 looks a little weird, doesn't it? Yeah, you're looking like Kim Kardashian. You never had an ass, and now you got a Kim Kardashian ass. You never, you know, now you huge, breast implants and all the lips and all that stuff. It just, how did it look gross to me?
Starting point is 00:29:15 I think people, they get like body dysmorphia when they start doing that extreme, they must. I think so, yeah, you do a little bit here and then you want some more here and then there and then there and then there. You know what we should do for the commercial break? we need to hook up with a plastic surgeon here in town A good one a legitimate one and we need to say we you do some experimental plastic surgery on us so that we can see Like I'll get like lip implants
Starting point is 00:29:41 Lip injections. Yeah, just like like lip implants, lip injections. Yeah, just like, ugh, ugh, ugh. And I wanna see if my reflection in the mirror changes. I want the doc to say, make me look better, doc. Do like seven things that make me look better, not permanent, temporary. You know, it goes away after a minute, right?
Starting point is 00:30:00 Okay. So do like seven things. Get me some eye wrinkles, a dick lift, you know, a ball. You can just do this on face tan. Yeah. I want to go for the real thing because I want a free plastic surgery. But I say, you know, do that. And then I want to see, and then you like, give me an honest opinion. You say Brian, that looks ridiculous. And And I wanna see if what I see in the mirror is different. If I go, he did a good job, that looks sexy. Because some of these people,
Starting point is 00:30:30 they get the most ridiculous of plastic surgeries. And then they pretend like it's perfectly normal. I mean, we know people like this, right? And this is, I don't know. I, we have a friend, I have a friend, who's done all kind of plastic surgeries, right? And I think that they are looking a little ridiculous at this point. I think they look a little plastic, fantastic, right?
Starting point is 00:30:54 And just to clarify, this is none of our good friends. Right. But this is someone that we both collectively know. And I just think that they're looking- The lives in California. Yeah, yeah. I know. They are starting to look a little bit ridiculous. A little plastic fantastic. And I wish I could say something, but I wonder...
Starting point is 00:31:12 You know, if they look in the mirror and they go, I look great. Mm-hmm. Man, that three extra inches of upper lip just makes me look fantastic. So youthful. So youthful. When my eyes don't close. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It's so youthful. So youthful when my eyes don't close. Think, think, think, think it. It's so unnatural.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Yeah. And poor Madonna. She's falling into the trap. I know. And now she's got an NFT that forever catarizes her fucking vagina with a tree coming out of it. It's like, and it's like, I think about her kids. I'm just like, I guess they're just used to it by now.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Listen, her kids are, they're, they're, they went to therapy, too. Yeah. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. And I don't know why, because it's never gonna happen. But I've been thinking about something lately. What happens to the children of people who get notoriety for something, right? Like, for sex-related or like,
Starting point is 00:32:02 well, or just anything. If we keep on talking about sex on this program like. Well, or just anything. We keep on talking about sex on this program. I think, anything, but you know, like, Farah Abraham, remember that teen mom Farah? Yes. Okay. She watched that show.
Starting point is 00:32:18 I watched it. I love that show. And that's gonna roll into another thing that we're talking about here. But remember that teen mom Farah? Who is one of those women who just like at age 12, she got so much plastic surgery, she became unrecognizable.
Starting point is 00:32:30 And then she went and she got a Vagino Plasty at age 20. And then this whole nine yards and then she went and did this weird porn movie for money. She did all these things. She got famous for all the wrong reasons. Yeah. Now being a teen mom, a lot of those teen moms are famous all these things, she got famous for all the wrong reasons. Now, being a teen mom, a lot of those teen moms are famous and now they're famous for the right reasons.
Starting point is 00:32:50 People look up to them and they say, you did a good job, you actually made it through and you raised your kids and you did a whole nine yards. Fair is a complete opposite. She's a fucking dumpster fire of a human being. And she's got this daughter that now has some of the same personality traits that her mother does. It's like, you know, what you see.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Now, you don't, you know, she's a child and she's just mimicking what she sees. So God bless her. I hope, you know, she gets therapy before her mom did. Her mom still hasn't showed up for therapy. But I, but like Howard Stern's children or Jeni and his son doesn't have children, but Ben Affleck's children.
Starting point is 00:33:25 You know, we'll smith children. How are their lives affected by constantly living in the shadow of their parents? Yeah, they try and bust out and make their own way, as we've seen with Miley. Oh, Miley. Yeah, but her dad was never. Why don't you don't even read the home, get to home, get to home, get to home. I got a little monkey's don't bow to me. Oh that is? Oh sorry guys.
Starting point is 00:33:49 No, he was, what was he? Wait down, younger, in a Hannah Montana, get a little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little build their own lives and brush out of there, but they have a leg up with the money. I would say they do, but money doesn't solve everything. But it sure does make things easier. As the commercial break will probably never find out.
Starting point is 00:34:16 What was the song that he'd say? I don't have it. Was it Boot Scoot and Bucky? No. Boot Scoot and Bucky! Bucky! God, why can't I think of it? I don't know. It was so cool.
Starting point is 00:34:29 It was so cool. Yeah, everybody. Yeah, was it Chad? That's not Chadah Hoochie. No, that's Alan. Are you sure? I'm sure. What's Billy Ray?
Starting point is 00:34:37 Hey, Siri. Hey, Siri. Fucker. Nothing ever works. Billy Ray Seris. So I know he did the recent one with Aiki. My Aiki Breaky Her. Don't break my heart.
Starting point is 00:34:56 It was Aiki Breaky Her. Is it? No, okay. Is it? It's my daughter naked too. I would say his daughter did a pretty good job of breaking out of that channel. Because I don't know who the fuck Billy said, very sorry for that. After Hannah Montana.
Starting point is 00:35:15 But you know who else is doing a good job, I think, believe it or not, is what's her name? Diddle Smith or what's her name? The Smith Willow. She's got name? The smith willow. She's got that song. Yes, she wants me fucking crazy. That's right. I am all into that willow smith song. Now it's only four years old,
Starting point is 00:35:33 so I'm only coming here to find a chrep. But I love that song. Yeah, that's a good job. It's so spacey-cadassie. And I love, it's like rocky and poppy. And I can't even remember what it sounds like now, but it's so good. Anyway, listen, some of these children do okay. Parasilton, she did all right.
Starting point is 00:35:48 She did good for herself. She did. She did. But people like, the teen like, pharaoh, whatever the fuck her name, Abraham Fawcett or whatever her name is, she's like, that girl is going to have a hard time. She's going to be the parent, she's going to be the's gonna, that little girl's gonna have a hard time. Yeah, you see that. She's gonna be the parent,
Starting point is 00:36:06 she's gonna be the daughter of an F-list celebrity, and I think that is more difficult. I've never heard, yeah. And I'm gonna tell you what I think about these teen moms, now that we're on the topic. Okay. I've been reading a lot lately, and I know this has been going around for like two years,
Starting point is 00:36:25 but I think now there's some conclusive evidence about this. Millennials and Gen Zers are, and that means teenagers and people in the early 20s are having less sex than any time in human recorded history. Like since the stats have been around, and really they can go back and look at birth rates
Starting point is 00:36:46 and stuff like that and say, this is happened. How will the birth rate just decline, I think, for the first time this past year? Not me, I'm right. So far. And I think I kind of blame team mom for this. I don't blame anybody. It might be a good thing, who knows, right?
Starting point is 00:37:02 But this has been going on in Japan for a long time. These teenagers and these 20 people in their 20s and 30s they're not getting married they're not going on dates. They're not having sex at all for the first time In recorded history in 2019 50% of teenagers said they haven't they won't or they don't Have any kind of sexual interaction and won't before they graduate high school or they some of them are reporting up to 30% of them reporting if and when they ever get married. That's great. In the 90s when we were growing up when we were in high school, right? Almost everybody reported that they would or wanted to have sex before their prom. Well, I'm gonna tell you it's because there was,
Starting point is 00:37:46 you had to do things in real life, IRL. Yeah, that's true. You didn't have. Yeah, you didn't have porn. Phones and porn and social media and everything. Now it's all virtual. Guys, I'm telling you. It's just send nudes.
Starting point is 00:38:01 Yeah. Send nudes back then, man. You're like, carrier, pigeon. Actually, I had to show up at someone's door and give them a polaroid. It's just send nudes. Yeah. And send nudes back then meant like carrier. Actually, I had to show up at someone's door and give them a pull along. Yeah, you sent it in an envelope. I'm telling you guys, the Sears catalog would come. Or the Victoria's Secret catalog, which just started in the 90s. Victoria's Secret catalog would come if you were lucky enough to have a mother in
Starting point is 00:38:21 the home who was of a certain age. They started sending those things out to every household in America and they never got to the mother. They always got to the teenage boy. I mean, you know, they didn't show anything. I used to love that catalog. I ordered so much stuff out of that. Fuck, man, did I love that catalog.
Starting point is 00:38:37 I had like, uh, one of those catalogs I had for like five years, the same catalog and the same picture. And I would have to use my imagination about what, because it wasn't all that risk A back then. They didn't even show thongs. They were just like regular underwear. And you were like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:54 But I did, did I, did you, you would just explode in your pants, just seeing underwear. And so, yeah, you know, imagine. Yeah. And the 90s was an adventurous time. How does that know imagination? No, there's no imagination. Yeah, and the 90s was an adventurous time. How does that imagination?
Starting point is 00:39:05 No, there's no imagination. It's all 100% porn. Here's a little few stats that I have, right? The Gen Zers are not having sex and either are the teens. The more and more of them, more and more of the Gen Zers or the millennials are living at home with their parents and find it difficult to have time or away from other people.
Starting point is 00:39:22 They don't know where to have sex in other words. Not gonna have in front of their parents, right? They're choosing more fluid situations and they want quality over quantity. They wanna have a safe environment. And what I think part of the reason why Teen Mom has done this and part of the reason why dating apps has done this,
Starting point is 00:39:39 these two things I think are combined. Teen Mom made it very real. That if you stuck a penis in a vagina, you could be fucked for the rest of your life. Yeah, you could be hung on with a baby and that shit ain't easy. It ruins almost everything. And I mean, ruins, it changes almost everything.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Yes, it does. But when you're a teenager, it ruins almost everything. There's gonna be no problem. I think your plan is totally real. Totally derailed. And I honestly think that team mom kind of had the intended consequence of driving down team Bernie. Like the CDs?
Starting point is 00:40:14 Unless, uh, pregnancies. Dating apps are so reliant on looks. Yet most of us are not fucking good looking. That's the truth. Most of us are not attractive. We're not like supermodel type attractive. And yet that's what we think we should be with, right? That's what we desire because of the objectification that we face there.
Starting point is 00:40:41 That's what we shop in. And no one's real. Yeah. Unless you're getting the plastic surgery. Unless you're getting the plastic surgery. Unless you're getting the plastic surgery. So if you're in the Atlanta area, and you're a plastic surgeon, you'd like free advertising for your services.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Call me up. It's six one, best of you. These dating apps, they make you pick the cream of the crop. You only, and then the reality becomes quickly. Like when I was on the dating apps, the reality becomes quickly. If they're good looking and they choose you and you're not good looking,
Starting point is 00:41:10 it's because they're fucking crazy. They are crazy. And they're gonna, I don't know, you know, stalk you or leave you somewhere. Be sure to up for it. So about your Christmas party when you're dancing with your best friends. That's right.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Or want to have sex with you at your bar. It was one girl who just was like crazy. And then I tell you that story. Yes. This one girl literally took off her panties in the restroom and came back and dropped them on my lap. And she had a skirt on. This is our date one.
Starting point is 00:41:40 It's swinging them around. I'm like, does that even got a real on it? I'm just I just want to check before I dive in. I'm so OCD. I'm like, Yeah. Can I cancel the potato skins?
Starting point is 00:41:56 It's got a gross over here now. Can I get a new glass would be here in it? Thank you. Appreciate it. And then at the end of the night, I said, why don't you come back to my house so you don't drive home because she was driving? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:13 And she was like, I'm not that kind of girl. What are you trying to do? Were you trying to just, you think you can just get me home and sleep with me? And I was like, you are. Even the bartender. Yeah, even the bartender was like, dude, let it go. Yeah, let it go.
Starting point is 00:42:28 Don't go and get it. Let it go. A more mission safe. So we want everyone to drive home safely, but you gotta let this one go. That way. And I did. Smartly. I did.
Starting point is 00:42:39 But these apps make it more difficult because it makes you feel the reality hits you very quickly that a two is usually not getting in bed with a 10. And by the way, everybody can be a 10 because they all they have to do is bullshit on the app. Sure. It's all fake. It's all an illusion. You don't trust anybody.
Starting point is 00:42:59 So you're looking for that real life connection, but it's very hard to do because you've never done it before. Well, and then we just had a lot of virus threatening it. That's exactly what I read. I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, now you don't want to tell somebody,
Starting point is 00:43:10 yeah, because you think they got the sticky icky. And I don't mean the weed. I mean, the cock disease. Yeah. Yeah, of course. You don't, now you're less interested in becoming personally physically involved with somebody because you don't know
Starting point is 00:43:25 It'd be so hard. I'm so glad I married a child. Me too. God bless America. God bless America. Uh, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn. Yeah, it's everywhere. Here's another thing. There is an uptick,
Starting point is 00:43:37 the urologists and people who specialize in sexual health, men's sexual health. There is a 39% uptick in 20 year olds coming to visit for erectile dysfunction. They're asking for medications, penis pumps, stuff to help with erectile dysfunction. And here is the anecdotal information, anecdotal information, usually ends up being a fact, especially on the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Right. Right. The anecdotal information is. 50% of the time it works every time. 50% of the time, bullshit and 100% of the time. The anecdotal information that these urologists are reporting back is that they're being told by these young clients. Well, it doesn't look like that on the porn.
Starting point is 00:44:20 It doesn't look like that on the porn. Right. Right. I can only get off when it's extreme, crazy fetish eyes to porn. When the vagina looks perfect and the tits are wonderful and my dick is 15 feet long and banging for three hours and hit her on the ass and smack her on the face. I can feel how that would, you know, in your adolescent brain, how then that would be? Train your brain.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Yeah. See? What do you think is normal? My brain got trained. That a girl on a tractor in a Sears magazine was sexy. So when I saw an actual vagina, I had no chance. I was like These kids they're seeing extraordinarily graphic. That's why I don't and this is a little secret about Brian Green I don't and this is a little secret about Brian Green. I don't. It's not a secret anymore. I really don't like watching video porn. It's not my thing never has been. That's not to say I don't, but there's something erotic about the photo. Every once in a while I give it a try. Every couple of hours at night, I give it a try. I give it a try. Every couple of hours at night, I give it a try. But there's something erotic about imagination to me, right?
Starting point is 00:45:28 I like to think that it's, I like to, there's something left up to the imagination. Right, imagination, exactly. So they are saying these guys that are coming into the office are reporting that I cannot even get aroused with a real woman unless there is porn involved. Wow. 40% of the 20-year-olds that are coming in are saying, I cannot get aroused unless I am physically watching extreme porn. And that is insane.
Starting point is 00:45:55 It's insane. But here is another crazy thing that we're not thinking about. It is hard to get laid when all you're thinking about is changing the world. And that's another thing. That's true. Is that the younger folks, very worried, it's very worried about, very worried about what's coming up. And God bless them because it's there. I mean, did you see that those homes and the outer banks just fell into the ocean?
Starting point is 00:46:18 Yeah. This past weekend. Yeah. I mean, you see what's going on. Well, first of all, I'm tiny, but go ahead, I'm not gonna say the worst of it. Well, I don't know, not so sure, we're not that old. Not that old.
Starting point is 00:46:33 We're talking like people 10 years younger than us. We're not that old. And I had a, no, we're definitely gonna see the worst of it. Yeah, and our children were for sure, but they're, they feel it's their responsibility. And maybe it is because, you know, the, Jen, whatever, there, those yuppies, they didn't do shit for us.
Starting point is 00:46:50 They all went on tour at the Grateful Dead. They were gonna change the world and they started, you know, I don't know, like, carbon monoxide spewing machines and just put them all over Earth. I love the Grateful Dead, but I love money even more. I'm gonna kill the Earth, you know, money even more. I'm going to kill the earth. You know, they don't became, you know, silly fucknuts who just decided to do whatever at the expense of whatever. And the reality is 40% of young women, women under the age of
Starting point is 00:47:17 30 years old, say that politics is more important than sexual partnership to them. Okay. 40% of women in that. I mean, politics is pretty crazy. That's of 2019. So super divided. And then also to just all of the news, you just didn't have that before where you could just get news, news, fake news, real news, whatever slanted news that's out there.
Starting point is 00:47:40 News, news, news, news, news, all the time. It is ever well-made and it does, does, does, I get it. It may anxiety sometimes too. I get I got to turn it off everyone. That did a call out. Yeah, I do the call map where I go have sex with my wife. There you go.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Yeah, it helps. Yeah, there's the other thing is that it's easy to have sex when you're in a marriage or you're in a partnership with someone who lives in your house. Yes. You are never gonna have as much sex as you're in a marriage or you're in a partnership with someone who lives in your house. Yes. You are never gonna have as much sex as you're gonna have when the person you could potentially have sex with is living with you 24 hours a day.
Starting point is 00:48:11 It's what I'm saying. Yeah. And for a lot of these people, for a lot of the younger folks, they're just not there yet. And so they feel it's just too risky to chance it otherwise. They would much prefer weight for someone they're comfortable with and that they live with and that they can explore with. And I say more power to that.
Starting point is 00:48:27 Yes, I agree. Now, there's birth rates and all this other complicated algebra that goes into this, that I'm not sure you're going to understand, but I do. Thanks for mansplaining. I mansplained it all. But that's true too.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Thank you about, if you're worried about the world right now, why do you want to bring somebody else into it? If you're a... That's a very good point, Chrissy. Chrissy. Yeah. I'm saying for these kids, for the kids. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:01 They're really, if they're this worried about the world, then, yeah. They're smarter than the rest of us That's what I say they decided that you know what you know how we stop all this drama we stop replicating shitty little humans You know I stopped shitty little humans from making shitty little earths. We stop making shitty You know we can change people can change You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can.
Starting point is 00:49:27 You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can.
Starting point is 00:49:35 You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can.
Starting point is 00:49:43 You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can you go to Mars? Yes. Yeah, go to Mars. And you can't go to Mars if you're busy having sex. Because you know you're not coming back. You don't want to get attached. Because you know you're going to come back. I was going to give you some music to go. I like that, okay. I felt emotional about what you were saying.
Starting point is 00:49:57 And I was like, this can of course you some music. I was at a room with it. No, I know. Well, what I was going to say is that the, I feel like there's going to be major advances that we will be able to help or reverse things. Now politics is yeah, and call music. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Chrissy says no to politics. No, no, no. No politics. No. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's really bad.
Starting point is 00:50:26 And it's... I would run for something except I've got a pass. You would run for something except for you on the commercial break. That's the one except for gonna vote for us. Ever. I'm gonna get that drug addict stri, stripper, livin, criminal, derelicted my office. No, thank you, sir.
Starting point is 00:50:51 The reality is, your kids could run. My kids will run, because that's, although they'll be a part of the team, and I think that that's the thing too, is that their people are starting to understand, we are becoming more,
Starting point is 00:51:02 the younger kids are becoming more secular, they're becoming more smart, they're becoming more self-aware, because the world is actually moving toward more consciousness, not the less. It's the dying throws, towards the ghost of Christmas past, that are making this world a little bit more shitty right now. It's like there's a hundred necos on Capitol Hill right now,
Starting point is 00:51:24 and they all smell like bad farts and rotten eggs and they're all chakered and screaming while the rats run around eating everything. Yes. But the young kids, they get it. They do. Right? And I think they've got power. Yeah and I include us in that, right? We're in that like transition period. And they realize that the only way that change comes is from the inside. We don't need fucking whatever his name is or whatever her name is, making decisions on behalf of us. We need to change ourselves. And maybe all of these things apply. They're living with their parents, their riskiness and you know real life interaction, the dating apps are making it hard,
Starting point is 00:52:03 porn, desensitizes you. All this stuff might be true, but there may be one simple thing that we're just not paying attention to. And that is, I don't wanna have sex right now, because there are more important things to do. Like listen to the commercial break. That's right. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:52:21 Thank you, Brian. Thank you. And that was the most serious episode we have ever done. We started with birds. We ended with... We started with birds. We ended with turds. What can I say?
Starting point is 00:52:38 I like that episode. I love it. I'm gonna run it. Donut, I'm gonna run. I'm gonna run. Good. Sometimes we get done and I'm like I like that episode I actually didn't like that episode. I'm not gonna run it, but we will run this one. Yes Okay kids, well that's how you do it. Keep on doing you all you youngsters and you old
Starting point is 00:52:57 Do your part do your thing voting? There's a big midterm elections stuff coming up Yeah, so mean, get out there and get the vote. Until we have some like, nebulous, you know, brain in the sky that is collectively, you know, governing all of us, we're gonna have to deal with the shit heads in the office. Oh my god. I can't wait to find out what they find out about the aliens. The aliens could help us. Maybe they could. Well, some people are worried about national security with the aliens.
Starting point is 00:53:29 I think that might be... Yeah, then... Well, yeah. What are you worried about in the me-buck? No one's coming to get you. Even if those aliens are walking amongst us and they have a bother this yet, so don't worry about it. Don't get them all riled up.
Starting point is 00:53:41 I mean Elon Musk could be one. Oh, he's definitely an alien. For sure. I could think of a he's definitely an alien. For sure. I can think of a few politicians that are aliens. For sure. Mitch McConnell. Oh, it's my Mitch McConnell. The turtle.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Yeah, the turtle. There's a few Democrats out there too, don't you worry. Okay, here's what you do. You go to tcbpodcast.com. Read more about Chrissy and I. You can find all the show notes. All of our sponsors specialized URLs and codes. I'll write there on the website and in the show notes,
Starting point is 00:54:10 please use those if you're ever in the market for their products or services. It really does help us and we're getting a lot of great feedback that you are using those URLs and codes, so keep on doing it. Take two minutes, review the podcast, rate it on whatever podcast platform you're using, because that also does help grow the show.
Starting point is 00:54:29 We're officially now at top 100. I can't believe that. Apple Comedy Podcast, which I may not sound like much to you. Congratulations on top 100. That wouldn't be bragging rights and any other thing, but it's really hard to do, actually. Congratulations to you. Congratulations to you, Brian.
Starting point is 00:54:45 Congratulations to you out there in the podcast universe. Okay, here's how we do it. Chrissy, best to you. Best to you. I love you. I love you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. We love you to always and forever.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Hit us up on text message 661-237-829666-1. Best to you. Until next time, the only thing left to do is say as always Bye!I'm aI'm aI'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a
Starting point is 00:55:37 I'm a I'm a I'm aI'm aI'm a you

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