The Commercial Break - Slingshot Shenanigans

Episode Date: August 8, 2024

Episode #579: It's a TCB PCB 30A kind of day! Storytime with Bryan proves entertaining once again. Snoop & Flava Olympics TCB in PCB 30A Bryan’s beach access foibles Steeplechase Trying to wrangle kids on vacation An ill fated beach vacation The slingshot Bryan sleuths on his vacay neighbors Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: INSTAGRAM:   https://www.instagram.com/thecommercialbreak/ https://www.instagram.com/bryanwgreen/ https://www.instagram.com/tcbkrissy/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@tcbpodcast Visit our website:  https://tcbpodcast.com/ CREDITS: Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer:  Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The power is yours. On this episode of the Commercial Break. But what kind of mother lets their child drive a slingshot down 38 knowing that that's completely illegal. It can't be legal. And she's all the way in the back. Ten rows back. Not even like the seat behind where she could say, oh son, be careful.

Yeah, yeah. No, ten rows back. Where once you get going more than five miles per hour, you can't hear shit because they're, they're wide open. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh yeah. Get the kittens.

Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and co-host of this show. Chris and Joy Holdley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the commercial break. I'm Brian Gray and this is my dear friend and co-host of this show, Chris. Joy Holdley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe, the Snoop Doggy dog and yeah, boy, Olympics continue.

Flame of flame. He's like, I know, Snoop Dogg, I swear, is like the mascot of the Olympics. It's so amazing. I can't get enough of him. You know, I got to say, when they first announced, NBC announced that Snoop Dogg would be the, like, a guy, you know, one of the commentators on the Olympics, I thought to myself, what a, what a like a shitty publicity stunt,

and Snoop, who I love, who I've always loved. I love his music, I love his attitude, I love his personality, who I've always loved. I was like, Snoop, nah, don't do that, man, you're just gonna fucking... Anyway, I was wrong, Snoop is good, he is good at the Olympics, and man, how do they get him everywhere they need to get him?

I know, he is all over the place. He's like at the Palace of Versailles, and then down at the gym, and up at the pool, and over at the racquetball court. I just don't understand how they get him. He has to have a helicopter, he has to have a helicopter. I'm sure. That's it. So I saw him and Martha Stewart doing a thing.

What an unlikely pair that is. I know, I love how they had that show together. Oh yeah, that's right, they did have him and Martha Stewart doing it. What an unlikely pair that is. I know, I love it. They had that show together. Oh, yeah, that's right. They did have that show together for a while. I think they boned. I bet they boned. I bet they screwed. I hope so. Yeah. Actually, what I learned about Snoop that I didn't really know because you just wouldn't know this if you keep up with Snoop or don't keep up with Snoop, he's married and has been for a very long time You know a woman who he says like I'm snoop dog to everyone else Mm-hmm, but I'm a husband to this wife of mine And she keeps me directly in check like my feet are on the ground because of this person right here this human

I say my life Yeah, and I can relate I can relate to that as Astrid and I round the corner on many years of marriage now. That's crazy. How long Astrid and I have been married? I know. Two Olympics. We've been married for two Olympics. That's how long we've been married. Yes, yes. Two Summer Olympics. I've been in relationships for like eight months that felt like 10 years.

And I've been in a marriage for eight years that feel like 10 months. You know what I'm saying? It's really weird. That's a good thing. But a lot of stuff has happened since. A lot of stuff has happened. Including the commercial break. Which may have indirectly saved or not saved our marriage. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure which one. We just got back from vacation, which was very nice. Look at me. I'm at prime tan mode right now. You're looking very bronze. I'm almost as dark as the curtains behind me. I'm almost purple. You right now. You are, you're looking very bronze. I'm almost as dark as the curtains behind me. I'm almost purple. You're loving it, I know you're loving it.

We went down to the golden beaches of PCV. Oh, PCV! Panama City. PCV, PCV, PCV, PCV. Yeah. Yeah, Panama City. And you know, if you're a Southeastern person, then you know Panama City is.

If you know, you know. I-K-Y-N-K-D-Y, which Esther keeps posting on Instagram to make fun of me. I fucking hate it. So if you live in the southeast, and maybe if you don't, I don't know, then you are, then you know Panama City Beach. Yeah, you definitely do from an early age. Because like, I remember my parents used to take us there for vacation sporadically, you know, throughout the years. And then as I got older and was in high school, then it was the place to go for spring break.

It is the, was the place to go for spring break because, you know, Panama City, for all of its lure, is just really a small town. It's just really like a small southeastern town where there's not much to do except go to the beach. I don't know if there's any, and the industry in Panama City is Panama City. Beach. Yeah, it's tourism. It's renting out golf carts for $7,000 an hour

and fucking tiny little arcades. I gotta say, I liken Panama City beach to like an Arby's commercial. You know what I'm saying? Like the food, when they show you the food, when they show you that Arby's, you go, man, that's Sam, you do have the meats. That looks really fucking good.

When you look at those beaches, you're like, fucking ain't right, dude. That's the beach I wanna be at. Blue, clear water, sandy beaches, none of that Shelly bullshit on the other coast, on the Atlantic, all you see is just white sand beaches as far as you could go. But then you get to the Arby's and you're like, have they painted this place since 1972? And it's

smelly and it's sticky and you're pretty sure there's semen on the bathroom walls. It's like, Arby's and Panama City Beach are the same thing. I'm sure of it. Thank you very much. I'm sure of it. Panama City is just a very, it seems like to me, a very dated city. It's old and there's, it's grown in weird organic ways. Like you can drive down primo real estate, you know, right on that beachfront access road. You can drive down that road for miles and miles and you will be stuck in the shittiest kind of traffic ever. Oh yeah, that got it, that road. I remember that traffic. Fuck it, man. So, and I'll explain in just a little bit about the traffic,

but we go to the beach, I'm not gonna name the resort that we went to, but we went to like a newish resort that may or may not have been based on a song by a guy who liked to sing about beaches because it's just like a last minute trip where we had to get on Family of Five. I may or may not have liked to drink a margarita.

May or may not have lost your salt shaker, if you know what I mean. So we take a left to get on that beach access road. And I thought to myself, it's been 25 fucking years since I have been here. Yeah, me too, it's been a long time. Clearly they have like dolled it up, right? There's Chip and Joanna Gaines gonna be,

it's like a Chip and Joanna Gaines renovation has happened on PCB in the 25 years I've been there. Not a fucking thing has changed, not a fucking thing. There are so many out of business arcades and dry cleaners and golf cart rental places and go-cart racing places on that beached access. It's like, is this beachfront property or that people are just sitting on, waiting for the right developer to come along and eat it up?

Or really is the value of this property so low? I didn't know they're really shuttered businesses. Oh, they're all over the place. They're left and right. There's empty buildings all over the place. The Holiday Inn that I went to. Oh, yeah. When I went on my epic spring break vacation where I almost got my ass kicked and ended up just huffing a bunch of whipped cream cans

the whole time. That epic spring break vacation, we stayed at that Holiday Inn. It's still there. And at that time. I stayed at it too years ago. At that time I thought, wow, they need to like slap a fresh coat of paint on this thing.

It looks old. Well, I tell you what, Chrissy, it still hasn't been painted, still hasn't been updated. It's insane to me, it's insane to me that you can have a beach with such beautiful beaches and not have the beauty,

the like aesthetic follow through to the rest of the town. Well, do you think it's cause like the money kind of moved out of Panama City Beach up into the other areas? Yeah, it moved directly to the left is where it moved, directly to the left. They couldn't be bothered with Panama City. They all went up 38, 10 miles to Rosemary Beach, to whatever you call, I don't even know what you call it.

I think Destin, in between Destin and Panama City, there's this thing that people are now referring to as 30A. Let me tell you about 30A, kids. Okay? It is overcrowded. It is way overhyped. And it is overly expensive. It is beautiful. There is no doubt. I agree. It's a gorgeous place. This place, Rosemary Beach, for those of you that don't live in this part of the country and know this, Rosemary Beach is like a European village built in 2022. So, the buildings aren't that old, right? They're pristine. They sit right on top of each other. They're like, you know, you have a foot and a half in between the houses. They're all gorgeous.

They're all huge. They all have private pools and gated, you know, this and they're dolled up and there's so much shiplap you can't even stand it. Like, it's gorgeous, gorgeous, a little European village with restaurants and shops. People love there. We went because I thought to myself, well, if we really want to get like the beautiful part, like the beaches are great, right? And where we're staying is new and good. But if we want to get like some aesthetic going on, like a vibe going on, let's just shoot over to Rosemary. It's 10 miles down the street. It's like, it's going to take 15 minutes to get there. Wrong, took an hour and 78 minutes to get there. Took two hours to get there. Because you drive and you get into this, Rosemary has like one or two ways in and one or two ways out. And it's like this, I don't know, let's call it them,

two mile long by half a mile wide little area, little town that they've built. That's all, it's like a master plan community. Once you take that left to get into that Rosemary beach, you sit in the most insane and insidious kind of traffic, the kind of traffic that moves one and a half inches per hour. Oh God. There's no place to park. There's, it's just, it's crazy. So finally, so I'm, I'm smart guy, right?

And I'm, you can go down this little road and then you can try and find some public parking in the little town square area. But there are hundreds and hundreds of people that are crossing each light. Like each time the light goes, there are like hundreds of people crossing. Like walking. Yes. And I'm like, is that fucking Brooklyn or Rosemary Beach? I can't believe this. So I decide I'm going to go back into the neighborhood, the residential area, because I see a sign that says, three hour parking maximum. And I thought to myself, well, oh, okay, three hour parking maximum. It doesn't say no parking in the residential area. It says three hour parking maximum. So, I finally, we just zip

back and there's lots of streets back there and I find a little open parking space and I park and we walk into the village where we pay $612 for a family of five to eat some really shitty, you know, pokey tuna that wasn't even probably frozen and fucking empanada. And then we go to the overpriced toy store where we get toys they sell at Walmart for 16,000% markup. And then I go, okay, well, let's go to the beach. Like let's do that. But you go into this little area where you can get into the beach, like this beautiful little town, and then they

have these little, like, little, I don't know, like open grassy areas, and then you can walk and go onto the boardwalk where you can get down to the beach. And they have like 12 of these boardwalks in Rosemary Beach, these little grassy areas, and then you go. So we walk up, and there are many people that are just walking up to the gate and walking back, walking up to the gate and walking back. And I'm thinking to myself, why are they just like walking back like that? Well, I realize why. You have to have a card to get onto the beach. It is a private beach, which is allowed in Florida. Private beaches are allowed and private beach access is allowed in Florida. Once you get onto the beach, I think you can't really claim that it's your beach or whatever. So, okay. And everybody's disappointed.

Nassar is like, oh my God, that beach is beautiful. And that's the wife signal that you better find a fucking way to get on this beach because we just spent two hours in the car and this is your stupid idea in the first place. And so I'm like, okay, there's a hotel on the corner and there's bad guys outside, valets and bad men outside. And I thought to myself, this is it. This is my key. This is your end. Cannot get any cell phone signal in this Rosemary Beach, not because there's not cell phone signal, because there are so many people there trying to get on the same cell phone towers that you can't connect the internet. I swear. That's the only reason. I had three bars.

I could not get my internet to connect at all. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna give them the Brian look. And for those of you that don't know, the Brian look is I just put on a little smile and I, you know, buddy chum up to somebody. And then I slyly ask for their card. So I go to the, hey pal, hey bud. See you out here working hard. Hey, what's it like to be a doorman?

How do you do that? How do you get in that line of business? I'm a famous podcaster, but I'm looking to get into the doorbell man, doorbell business. How do you do that? Door man. Door man business. How do you do that? So I see one of these valet guys running around. He's a little bit older, probably older than me, working hard, sweating his ass off because it's 1,006 degrees down in Florida right now. And so I said, I see him, he does a little work and then he's got a big rack, big push cart full of luggage. He's

waiting for somebody and I can kind of see him standing there just waiting on somebody. So I walked in and I'm like, hey, sir. Yeah. I go, hey, man, it's a beautiful hotel you got here. Really gorgeous property here. And he goes, yeah, thanks. Appreciate it. How long have you been working here? I don't know, about 10 years or something like that. Oh, I didn't even know this was here 10 years ago. Yeah, I opened about 10 years ago and I've been working here. I'm like the lead door guy, the lead valley guy. And I go, oh yeah, yeah, okay, cool, cool. Hey, listen, I have a quick question for you. Is everybody like having trouble getting on the internet right now or is that just me? And he's like, what? And I go, listen, I got some friends who are staying here at the

beach and they're down at the beach, but I can't text them because I can't get through on the cell phone. So I just wondered, how do you like get access to that beach? And he goes, you can't. And I go, what do you mean you can't? And he goes, well, all the beaches are private on 38 for probably about 10 miles. And I go, they all have gated access like this? And he goes, yeah. And I go, is there any way? And he goes, no, he didn't even, I didn't get through the sentence. He goes, no, I'm sorry. He goes, I actually can't let people on that beach unless you're staying here at the hotel. And I go, oh, okay. Well, I'm not staying here at the hotel, but what do you think the best way to get access to that beach

if you're not at the hotel? And he's like, have a card. And I was like, but what if I don't have the card? Yeah, I go, what if I don't have the card, but I'm meeting somebody here? And he goes, he just like shrugs his shoulders. And I was like, dick. And I was like, dick. My Brian look did not work. The first time that he's heard something like that. My Brian look did not work on that one. So I'm like, okay, so then everyone's pissing and moaning.

And then we go get a $40 ice cream. And then, you know, we're walking back to the car, and there's another kind of hidden little private access, but I can see some people sliding in and out of that access, a little gate there. So I tell the kids, they're about two blocks away, because of the way that the streets are made, you can see down, it's like squared off blocks.

So I can see the people, so I tell the fam, I say, hey, hang here, you know? And I'm like, I'm gonna be super here, I can see the people. So, I tell the fam, I say, hang here, you know, and I'm like, I'm gonna be a superhero. I want to save the day here. So, I run down there, right? I see people sliding in and out. I see them hitting that card, hitting that card, hitting that card. And I go up and I kind of like time it correctly where I wait. I can see the gate is bouncing back. You know what I'm saying? It's like bouncing a little bit. It's your bounce of opportunity. So I bounced my opportunity, I bounced my old ass, old white ass down there.

I grabbed from the inside and pulled the door. And I was like, I did it. I did it. Yes. So now I am furiously waving at Astrid, who's not paying attention to me, because, you know, she's got three kids on her shoulder. I'm furiously waving to her like, get down here. Come on, come on. And Astrid's like shrugging her shoulders. What? What? And so I'm trying to text her, but the texting doesn't work because there's no cell phone store. Right. So are you just sitting there holding the gate open? I'm standing there holding the gate open and now more people are coming and more people are coming

out and I'm like, oh God, I'm gonna look like this asshole who's just holding the door for everybody because it's peace front of hand. So luckily a couple of people slide by, but they don't really say anything. Maybe they were also trying to speak in too. Look that guy, he did it. Yeah, he did it, let's do it. And so you gotta understand how close the houses are. They're like literally a foot and a half apart.

This is what they call like R2 zoning, which means you only need 2000 square feet on a particular property. And so they're cluster homes, right? They're right next to it. You could reach out and grab your neighbor's salt shakers, how close these places are. But I look up, because there's two buildings

right next to this access, and I look up, and there's like an older couple standing on their balcony, like looking at me. Monitoring. Monitoring. So I just like, I don't know why I said this because they didn't say anything to me. I go, I'm waiting for my wife.

I'm like, I'm guilty. I'm already guilty. I got a guilty conscience. And so finally Astrid is like, she can't understand what I'm saying. So I just can't stand there holding the door the whole time. I look like a real fucking doofus. I'm waving people that are two blocks away

and they can't, they're not gonna get here faster. So I go, okay, if I did it once, I can do it again. Let me slam the door. So I closed the door and I'm like, we can get this done. I go, I talked to Astrid, we talk it over and she's like, no, let's just go back to where we're staying and you know, it's fine, whatever. And I'm like, no, you want it to go, let's go.

These beaches are beautiful. She's like, yeah, but there's a bunch of, and they do, every, they have private umbrellas and chairs everywhere. By the way, at the beach, it's like 10 people deep. The place is mad house. There are so many people in the ocean. So many people on the beach is way overcrowded. Everybody has found a way to get onto this beach because I'm sure not that many, there's not that many houses there. So I'm like, come on, Astrid, come on, let's just go, let's go, let's do it once. We're here.

Yep. And now the kids are, I want to go to the beach, I want to go to the beach. And I'm like, come on, let's go. And so, finally, she reluctantly says, okay. So she starts to take the kids toward the beach, but now we don't have the beach gear with us, it's in the car. So I'm like, hey, I'll go get the beach gear, you go take the kids. I run to the car, I come back around the corner and I can see Astor's opening the door. And I'm like, what happened there? How did that happen? Did she get a key? Did she get a better reaction from the doorman?

It turns out the door was broken. It just opened on its own. We just found the weak spot in the security system. Yes, you did. Oh my God, I was sneaking around and Astrid just opened it. She just went, You're holding it open too. So, we get to the top of the board rock, we're looking down, we're like, you know, you can walk down the stairs and get onto the beach, we're looking down. And then we start to look around and we realize there are no showers anywhere up and down the beach. They do not have showers to discourage people from doing exactly what

we're doing. You mean the showers that get the sand off? Yes, they don't have them. Really? And nowhere on, and now I remember I've stayed in Rosemary Beach of multiple occasions and they don't have them. And I honestly think it's to discourage people from doing what we're doing. Because if you're staying on property, if you're staying on Rosemary Beach, you've got an outdoor shower. It's just like standard practice to build those

things in there. You've got an outdoor shower. You're a walk away from your house. You can figure it out. You won't be uncomfortable for an hour and a half in the car, sandy, salty, and complaining because I'm sunburned. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, fuck this. So Esther and I have a quick parental discussion, and then we disappoint the kids by saying, come on, we're gonna go back to BCD. You didn't even go after all that? We didn't even go.

We didn't even step foot on the sand. Because I think it was a smart parental decision. Because if you were to have sandy, salty, fucking shitty, ass, crabby children in your car for an hour, that's no fun. Like, you just don't want that. Plus you don't want your car all sandy and salty. You know how hard it is to get sand out of a car? You know how many times I've taken that car down

to fucking a beach and a year later there's still sand? Oh yeah, you can't get sand. In the car. No, we've never got sand out of that. Or suitcases. Yeah, that's true. Suitcases too. Especially when you have a little baby. Like I'll tell you this. Let me, let's take a break and I'll tell you more about the beach. Don't get me wrong. It was a lot of fun. We had a great time, but of course, Brian's gonna find something to complain about. That's what I do. That's what happens.

That's just what I do. All right, we'll be back. Hi. No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait and now look how happy you are. I know, I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here,

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That is tcbpodcast.com, baby. And of course, you know where to go for all things TCB. That is TCBpodcast.com, baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around, and that's a win. 212-433-3TCB. Love you, bye. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio 212-433-3TCB. Love you, bye. In an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario.

Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit kinexontario.ca. Please play responsibly. No matter what you're going through, you are never alone. Join me on my podcast, From the Heart, with Rachel Brathen every Friday. Each episode is like sitting down with your best friend for a cup of coffee. From self-care tips to inspiration for healing, this podcast offers the chance to return to nature, return to community, and return to who you are at your core. Straight from my heart to yours. Listen to and follow From the Heart with Rachel Braitham on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. We're watching one of the steeplechase races here in the studio on the Olympics. And I got to tell you, I like the steeplechase and I'll tell you why I like the steeplechase. You don't have to do a

bunch of hurdles. You just have to do one hurdle. And then you get a little splash of water. You do. I know. A little refreshing of spritz. You're little splash of water. You do. I know. Refreshing a spritz. You're going in the water. You get a spritz. And then you kind of take it easy for the rest of the run. I like that steeple chase.

I don't think I've really watched this before. I think if I was an Olympic athlete, that's what I'd do. No one gives a shit. If you made it over the hurdle. If I could make it over the hurdle. I'd crawl over the hurdle. I'd find a way to open it like the Rosemary Beach gate. I'd just push it down.

I'm waiting for my wife, I'll be back. So, you know, we had this whole two hour, three hour interlude with Rosemary, which is fine. Don't get me wrong, Rosemary is beautiful. I know there are probably times of the year where it's not as crowded and you know, it's the middle of, it's beginning of August and everyone's going back to school. So, you're just trying to get down to a vacation.

And if you haven't pre-planned it already, then, you know, you're just going to Rosemary to see what Rosemary is all about. So otherwise very beautiful village they've built there on the beach. Love the concept, but it's just a way overcrowded. My understanding is all of the 38 beaches are now like that because Instagram, that's why, because Instagram and fucking TikTok and everybody fucking, you know, has that one shot where there's nobody on the beach, the water is blue and it's white sands as far as you can see, because they took it at 5.30 in the morning and then cropped out everybody in the background. There's thousands

of people down there, thousands, tens of thousands. So we head over back to, you know, our side of town, the wrong side of the tracks where we belong. The other side. Jared So, we head over back to, you know, our side of town, the wrong side of the tracks, where we belong. Beth Dombkowski The other side. Jared The other tracks, where we belong, or where my kind belongs. And you know, we stayed at this place, which I won't name by name, but you've already figured it out. I do have to say, it's a tiny little resort, quote unquote.

What they've got is they've got houses, they've got what they call cottages, and then they've got what they call bungalows, which is the smallest version of this. And the bungalow is this. A bungalow is you walk into the, there's a nice little porch with the big Christmas lights, you know, the big bell lights on the porch. I love those. Beautiful furniture on the front porch so you can just sit. But you're looking at a cul-de-sac of other houses. Not like you're overlooking the beach. We were overlooking a cul-de-sac of other houses in a parking lot. So, but whatever, who cares?

Who gets a shit? And then you walk into the front door and there is a nice size family room, couch, couple chairs, TV, desk, you know, a little table, nice little area. Then there's a tiny little kitchen. You've got a stove. You've got a margarita machine, a margarita machine. That makes sense to that place. And I like it.

Yeah, so they have an ice maker that makes that clear ice, not the ice chips, which I love, but the cubed ice, but it's clear ice. Cause it's always kind of melting. They keep it like just above freezing. So the ice is always melting, you're always getting new clear ice. It's beautiful, it's wonderful, it's a wonderful ice maker. And then they've got this big machine and you just pour in your ingredients and then you throw some ice on top of it and it makes you a perfect margarita, right? Okay, there you

go. And then, and then there's a big, huge master bedroom, master en suite, shower, double vanity kind of thing going on, so nice little downstairs. Yeah, sounds nice. But these are modular homes. So what they do is they stick on top of that, they stick another room on top of it, like a little loft area. Oh, okay.

Sitting on top of the master bedroom is a little loft area, about the same size, around the same size. Bunk beds upstairs, queen size bunk beds, nice size bunk beds. Fun for the kids. Absolutely fun for your insurance, for your health insurance. TV, little thing. But now there's two versions of the bungalows. One is you get a little wraparound stairs, regular stairs that have like a landing halfway. So it goes bonk, bonk, bonk, right? It's almost like a little circular stairs,

but just regular stairs you would walk up. You just gotta kinda take a left at some point. And then they got Archind, which is basically a ladder that goes directly up to the stairs. It's those extraordinarily steep stairs made out of smoothed aluminum. So anytime your feet are wet, you have lotion, whatever the deal is, you're bound to break your leg. And it's 20 feet in the air.

So you have to really get up there. Well, this is automatic accident waiting to happen. This is broken legs waiting to happen with small children. And of course it's the one thing they want to do is play up and down those stairs. It is so steep that I have to like steady myself before I go down the stairs because first of all I'm afraid of heights. Second of all, I'm a little old so I'm like I just want to make sure I'm steady. Thank God I wasn't drunk. Thank God I wasn't drunk. You weren't protected in the margarita machine. No. But the house is way cold. The air conditioning is working great. It's fantastic, which I love. And then they got these tin roofs. Okay? Got it? That is. And it looks like you're

in Key West. Everything's very multicolored. It's bright aqua You know sparkling pink, you know yellow everything's just very bright All the houses are very bright and cute and clean and brand new So what more could you ask for and the price is right for a last-minute trip, you know You're not paying ten thousand dollars a night and cool cold if this matter of fact So we get back from PC this is our first day there So we get back from PCB, this is like our first day there, so we get back from Rosemary Beach and we decide, okay, let's get the kids inside, we'll give them, you know, we'll give them a little nap and then we'll go back. I love beach naps. Oh man, a beach nap is

great. Now, of course, you have to convince more than one of the children to take a nap at the same time, which is really hard to do, but if you can get two of them down, at least one of you can take a nap and the other one can kind of just just chill out on the phone and fall asleep periodically, you know what I'm saying? For that quick act there. Exactly, on the couch. So we get back and there is none of that happening. The kids are so fucking riled up, because all they wanted to do was go to the beach,

and now we didn't go to the beach. So they are spinning around, my baby is crawling up and down, literally tumbling up and down the stairs, knocking herself around. This kid's tough, man, tough. She's always falling and jumping on things and, you know, legs landing in ways they shouldn't, and she just gets right back up. She never complains. However, tell her she can't have the iPhone and it's a holy shit fit for 45 fucking minutes.

Okay, so I'm like, let me take the kids to the pool. Explain the pool. The pool is surrounded by a bunch of these houses, like the bigger houses, right? All the bigger houses. It's got a lazy river that's maybe 200 feet in total diameter. So it's not really a lazy river. It's more like a lazy stream, a lazy puddle. It's a lazy puddle. Does it go like around the pool? Doesn't go around the pool. It just kind of goes in like an oval shape. You know, it's a little bend here, bend there. It takes you about a total of a-

A good lazy river is great though. It can be good. Here's the great part. The pool had lots of chairs. It was not crowded at all. Anytime we went, it was not crowded. So that was fantastic. Both pools are heated, which is not necessarily what you need in Florida, but it's what you

didn't know you did want in Florida. Do you know what I'm saying? Are you sure they were heated or it was just so hot? No, no, they were heated. No, they were definitely heated, especially that lazy river. That lazy river was Jacuzzi hot. It was Jacuzzi hot. It was like a Jacuzzi river, you know? So, so I said,

okay, let me, I'll take the kids to the pool and we'll get them one up. They have two water slides. We're not talking about anything super fancy, a couple of spins around and then you're back in the water. The pool at no point is more than four and a half feet deep, but my children are at the point where they're swimming okay, but not at the point where you want to let them go down the slide by themselves and then fend for themselves as that water comes torridding down, right? As they splash into the water and then that water just whips them around. So, I'm like, okay, let's go. This pool is big enough. It's like one of those walk-in pools. You know what I'm saying? Like, you walk, it looks like a beach, but there's no sand,

you just walk right in. Yeah. Okay. So we take the kids over there and this pool is the blessing and the curse because less than a hundred yards away, there is the most pristine, beautiful beaches you can probably find anywhere in the United States. But when there's a water slide, it's hard to compete with the beach. All the fucking kids want to do it. It's water slide, water slide, water slide. Chrissy, I don't know how many times I caught the kids. I don't know how many times I had to go down with the kids. I don't know how many times.

I am in no condition to be going down water slides. I just went to the doctor and got like 16 shots of cortisone in my back. That's right. And now I'm going down. It's the one, this is the thing the doctor told me not to do. Don't go down any water slides. I was like, what? Why would I go down a water slide? What are you talking about?

Well, here I am spinning and twippin' and twirling. I am all over the place. They just want me to go with them. They come with me, sit with me. And one of my kids is now at the age where he thinks it's funny, like, Dad, come with me. And I go, okay. And then he leaves like three seconds before I do. And then now I'm chasing him down the slide. go, okay, and then he leaves like three seconds before I do. And then now I'm chasing him down the slide. Did it have water? I'm trying to picture it. Did it have water that was like pouring down the slide? Pouring down the slide. Like two big jets at the top, just... Right? And they... First of all, the rules say you have to be 48 inches to go on the water slide. I saw babies going down this

water slide without a life jacket on. I swear to God, I did. Parents were just throwing their small children down the water slide. Second of all, no rough housing, flipping, all that other stuff. You have to go down on your butt, go down face forward. I saw people going in all different manners. Third of all, one person at a time. They had trains of people going down that thing. I'm at Margaritaville, okay? I'll say the word. I'm at Margaritaville. It is exactly the type of consumer you think would be at Margaritaville. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not arguing. Everybody's very nice. But it was, you know, it's the kind of place where you see the children of a father telling the father, it's too early to be drinking. When your kids are telling you it's too early to be drinking, you're probably in trouble.

I swear to God, there was this one guy there. He was like a bowl in a china shop, big boy, linebacker type guy, probably my age, you know, just red as he could be. I mean, just red, leathered red. And I mean, I know I'm tan, but this guy took it be. I mean, just red, leathered red. I mean, I know, I'm tan, but this guy took it further. I mean, he took it further. I did not see this guy without a beer in his hand, equipped with the full like Jimmy Buffett, you know, koozie and the whole thing. And he had a parrot tattooed on his back. So this guy was like brand loyal. Yeah, he was brand loyal. He was going down this water slide and killing small children on the way down. Yes, he, like, I saw him one time, you know, he was there for the entire day. He was there in

the morning when I got there, he was there in the afternoon when I left, he was there the entire time. He had 30 children, I don't know. But he would, like, push his kid down and then he would slide face first. He would just, like, run and jump into the slide. And I was like, holy his kid down, and then he would slide face first. He would just like run and jump into the slide. And I was like, holy shit, I'm amazed you can even do that, first of all, at your age. Second of all, he would gain some speed. And the lady kept telling him to stop it. She's like, you gotta go down on your butt.

Please stop. He didn't give a shit. He'd say, okay, yeah, yeah, no problem. Then he'd back up. He'd stand there like he was waiting on one of his kids to go. And he'd be like, oh no, son! Ah! A man-child, just a man-child. And he would come flying out of that thing.

God, yeah. Chrissy, most people would make it like two feet from this, like you know, you make two feet of air into the pool, right? This guy would make it halfway across the pool in the air, he'd be like, with his beer in his hand! He's drinking mainly pool water, I don't know what's going on. But this was the kind of vibe that was there the entire time. It was fine. Whatever. Cool. I'm no, I'm not above it. He was having fun.

So was I. Everyone was having a good time. I mean, I was having fun to a point. After like an hour and a half of the water slides, catching your children the waterslides, you kind of get done with it, right? Yeah. And then we'd go on the… Again! Yeah. Again! Again! Again! Now, Dad, you go. Now, I go. Now, she goes first and I go last. Now, you go last and I'll go first.

It's like, okay, all right, I got it. Ten-four. Meanwhile, the youngest, who has so far shown zero interest in chlorinated water, or any water whatsoever. Like we have a pool in our backyard and she just runs around left and right around the pool deck but never wants to go in, never. But you try and grab her and she's like, now. And she'll say it to you, she'll be like, now.

Well, when she found out she could walk into the water at her leisure and her discretion, oh my God, this girl was just- Game changer. Oh, she was just making friends, walking all over the place. She didn't want to be around you. She was trying to jump into the deep end and I was like, what are you doing?

Come to daddy. Now. Okay. All right. Gotcha. You want your independence. She found her groove. Yes.

At one point, Astrid had a pina colada and she was like, walking around the pool with it and I was like, I'm pretty sure that's child abuse, but that's okay. Let's see what the consequences later. We got them like these, like, you know, virgin daiquiris and piña colada, all the kids, all 40 of them, like, you know, and they're all walking around with these. And I'm like, okay, guys, I know that you see everybody else chilling in the pool with a drink, but you gotta be careful that you don't spill it in the pool. No one wants half piña colada, half chlorine in their pool, you know? It's just got to be cool, right? Every one of them, to the last, drop their piña colada in the water. However, my youngest didn't care. She dropped it and she just made the backup.

And just kept drinking it. Just kept drinking it. No, no, no, that's a trip to the hospital, for sure. Every one of my children fell off the bunk bed. Every one of them fell off the bunk bed. Every one of them fell off the bunk bed. Every one of them. So, by the second day, there was no more bunk beds. Not because I told them not to, because they were afraid of it. They were like, nah, I'm cool. I'm good. I'm good. What about those stairs or the ladder? I'm surprised. Oh my God, we ended up having to put a chair upside down on the ladder so that my youngest

couldn't get up there. And, you know, the thing about being the youngest is that you advance much quicker because everybody has already advanced by the time you're born. So, you're trying to play catch up real quick, and you do. Your brain is, her brain, and I imagine this happens to most children, they're very malleable, they're very flexible, they grow really fast. So, you start seeing somebody else that kind of looks like you, that's kind of your size doing something, you're going to do it and pick it up on it, pick up on it much quicker than the first child who has nothing to look at except for adults who are doing things that are way too advanced. So she is very advanced for her age. And I feel

bad because so many of the things the other kids do, she's just not allowed to do. Like you cannot have an iPad. That's just no, no, no, I'm not going to let you have an iPad. You know, you can't climb up and down those stairs by yourself. So, we have to put the, we put the chair there. And that mostly dissuaded her from doing it. But if that chair came away for one second, she'd be halfway up the stairs. And they're like open stairs too, you know what I'm saying? Not the kind with like a, a, a, a rail. Yeah. No, like, you know how some stairs, they have like a stair, it's not a stair tread, but it's like a backing to them, right? Most stairs, they have the tread in the back. No, they're open, open.

So, if one foot misses, you're going to slide through that thing and fall down 10 feet. They were so high. So, one thing I got to complain about about this, one thing I got to complain about about the actual location where we stayed is there's no reason to have the ladder like that. First of all, the clientele, you're encouraging, it's literally in the name, Margaritaville. You're encouraging people to drink and go up and down these stairs. Right?

Second of all, there are a lot of kids that go to these places. A lot of kids. It's part of the reason why we picked it is because the pool looked nice. It was kid friendly, yeah. Yeah. There were so many options to choose from. Hotels, motels, Airbnbs, we already know how I feel about that. Like there's so many places to choose,

but no place was a walk away from the beach, clean, brand new, and had a pool that was inviting, right? Right, yeah. All those things combined, plus had enough space and a kitchen, so I don't have to take the kids on a $7,000 meal every time they get hungry because these kids are hungry 24 fucking hours a day. Swear to God damn. So for me, it's got like the best of all five worlds that we need. Sure, that makes sense. Yeah, why you picked it.

Yeah. I am not brand loyal to Margarita Volk. As a matter of fact, Jimmy Buffett, great, great. Love that one song, love that couple songs that he did. Been to a concert, I understand the camaraderie, I get why everyone has fun, it's all about getting drunk and loving and hugging and kissing. I had sex at a Jimmy Buffett concert one time, swear to God I did. At the concert? With a friend's sister. Oh. Oh. Yeah. It caused trouble for a long time. I don't know. She started it. Like at the concert, where? At the concert. I don't know if I know what that guy's got. Just details. Like, you know, back here, this is like, you know, this is so many years ago.

It was back before security guards were at every corner and there was just an area. It was not, listen, it wasn't unusual to be out in the lawn in this particular place and see people fornicating. You know what I'm saying? As a matter of fact, the Jimmy Buffett concert probably, I saw more people fornicating, not necessarily the people you wanna see fornicating, but people fornicating. But there were some areas in the back and we just,

we were all so drunk and so high on whatever. And we ended up going to buy a drink. And the next thing I know, my pants are around my ankles. I don't know, what can I tell you? I don't know. Anyway, so, but that was my one and only experience with, I mean, maybe there's two other times that I went, but that was like my first experience with Parrot Heads

and the whole thing. And I didn't really care for Jimmy Buffett's music all that much. Margaritaville, great song. Had met him one time on an island in South Carolina where he owned a home and I had met him. Yeah, seemed like a great guy. He was very nice in the three and a half seconds that we had an interaction with him. He seemed very nice. And so I don't have anything against it, not brand loyal, didn't know what to think,

didn't know what to expect, but this was new. It was clean, it was the right price, and it was the right location, and we thought, okay, let's do it. It's the last minute vacation too, like when you're planning last minute, it's like kind of take what you can get. Yeah, and I can understand because that place was so fucking crowded. So we were in the bungalow, okay, and there's a bungalow, there's a lot of the bungalows are empty. It wasn't very crowded in this place at all, but there was people in the bungalow nexus. Now, because we paid the least amount of money to be there, we were in the very back of the resort, like in a cul-de-sac, not even kidding you, right? There was no beach anywhere. There was no like little walkway, little cute little area to walk. There was a street and some parking in front of it and the

dumpster. That was what was near us. And we're in the chairs in the front porch where you can overlook. And whatever. Okay, cool. I didn't expect for the price we were paying and how quickly we put this all together, like days before it happened. I didn't expect that we would be getting beachfront property. I mean, we could have, it was $7,000 a night. But I didn't expect that that would be what we were getting. So I came in with an open mind, like, okay, that's just a place to stay. We're going to be at the beach, we're going to be at the pool.

But I want to share with you about my neighbors in this place. Oh, I hope it's good. I know it's going to be good. Okay. All right, we'll be back. What's up, haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces.

And by that I mean, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast unless you want to fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything

you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast.com. Bye. Okay, I do wanna say one thing about this place. The people who ran this place, who were staff, the staff, the people who staffed this place were fucking incredible. They were all very nice. And by day two, there was two people on the staff at the pool. Like, I don't know if they were like lifeguards or people who were guarding the pool, you know what I'm saying? I don't know if they were like

monitors or lifeguards, I'm not really sure. But they knew all of my children's names. By day two, they were calling them by their names, giving them high fives, you know. All 30 of them. Yeah, like telling them to, oh, you know, pull yourself down the slide here, you know, do this thing and you'll go faster down the slide. Like they were being really sweet to everybody. And so I do have to say that for all of its trappings, for all of its trappings and its salt. That makes a huge difference to have a great staff.

It does. It made you feel like, oh, okay, somebody gives a shit. Right? Okay. So place is kind of empty. We're in the back. There's doesn't seem to be many people around, these are also cluster homes, they are right next to each other, right on top of each other.

And they're modular homes, right? So, they're, you know, it's like a mobile home with a top on it. I mean, that's almost what it is, but it looks nicer than that, but you get what I'm saying. Yes. Okay, but there was people next to us. And so, the first night that we're there, there are three children that are in this place next to us. There is a the first night that we're there, there are three children that are in this place next to us. There is a, what I would assume is a 13 or 14 year old young lady. There is a kid, a guy that's maybe 12 or 13 years old, a couple years his junior. And then there is a baby that's probably, let's say baby, it's a toddler that's of similar age to my toddler. Okay? So, they have a golf cart

that they've obviously rented. It says whatever, you know, Panama rentals or whatever. And so, they have parked right in front of our bungalow. Every spot is numbered. You got to park according to your number. They had parked right in front of our bungalow. That's where their spot was. Okay. So, they are sitting on the golf cart and we are getting ready to do something. And so, I take the kids outside and they're running around the patio and all this. And then all of a sudden, the kids started interacting in a way that kids do. Like, first of all, it's the babies, they start interacting with each other. And yeah, they're hugging and then throwing mud at each other and kicking each other in the shins, stuff like that. And then the older kids start to interact with our older kids who are not that old, but who

are there. And so, as the adults in the situation, I'd say, oh, you know, this is this person, this is this person, what's your name? You know, oh, I'm not going to say the real names, but, you know, oh, my name is Ryan and my name is Courtney. And oh, okay, it's nice to meet you, Ryan and Courtney. They're out there for about 15 okay, it's nice to meet you, Ryan and Courtney. They're out there for about 15 minutes, then it turns into 20 minutes, then it turns into 25 minutes. Just like hang out on the golf cart? On the golf cart, ready to go.

And you can hear them talking amongst themselves, you know, I'm ready to go, let's go, let's go, let's go. I'm gonna go see where mom is, you know? And so they run in and the girl runs in and then the kid's sitting behind the steering wheel. And so then she runs back out and I the kid's sitting behind the steering wheel. And so then she runs back out, and I can hear a little interaction going between. And he says, where is she? And she goes, oh, you know, she's doing you know. And then I was like, oh, okay,

what is she doing? What is it that she's doing? Eventually, a lady comes out, and she sits on the back of the golf cart. So now the 12 or 13 year old boy is driving the golf cart and the daughter is holding the baby. And the mom, looking a little bit disheveled, is just like, doesn't even look at me, doesn't even say hello. And when it's obvious our kids are interacting, which is fine, you don't have to,

I'm not, you know, doesn't bother me. Okay, would have been nice to say hi, right? She doesn't. Okay, so they zip off to wherever they're zipping off. Astrid catches this and she goes, why is that kid driving? Do you know she had to be 16 to say hi, right? She doesn't. Okay. So they zip off to wherever they're zipping off. Astrid catches this and she goes, why is that kid driving? She had to be 16 to drive a golf cart. I said, I think you do on the streets. And she goes, that's not a street. And I go, it is a street, but it's in a neighborhood. So I think they can probably get away with it. Okay. Whatever. So they come back a couple of hours later, I see them pull up. He's driving,

the kid's driving again. The mom's on the back or even a little bit more disheveled. And I'm like, oh, okay, maybe she had a few drinks or whatever. Everybody goes inside. Next morning, Astrid and I see the mother drive up with a slingshot. Do you know what a slingshot is? I mean, the actual slingshot? No, like the car, the vehicle, the off-road, or the slingshot. No, no, no, okay, yeah. Let me explain a slingshot, because you've seen them, but you probably never knew what they were called.

And I'll tell you why we figured it out. I didn't know what they were called. Oh, that's what those things are called, I get it. The one wheel in the front, the two wheels in the back, and then they, some of them kind of look like golf carts, because they'll have like two seats, or four seats, or sometimes even six seats. I've seen people driving those things on the interstate. I've seen them drive, I see it a lot. Yeah, I see it a lot here in Atlanta. This slingshot had 10 seats.

It was a limousine is basically what it was. It was huge. It didn't even fit in the parking spot. That's how big it was. It's incredible. It was bright green. My mom pulls up in that. She pulls up in that. It was bright green. And it said, you know, Panama Rentals or whatever. I thought, oh, they upgraded the golf cart for the sling shot. Right? So a couple hours later, kids are out there again and their kids are out there again and everyone's playing and saying hello. And my kids, you know, want to show them everything they own. I'm like, don't do that. Do like a show off. Don't do that. You know, if people If people ask, you can show them, but don't just show people what you got, right?

Because then they might show you what you got. We might realize just how poor we are. So stop it. They got a slingshot. Yeah, exactly. They got a slingshot. A 10-person slingshot. There's only four of them.

They have a 10-person slingshot. So, okay, so now we're back out interacting with these children, and the kid, again, gets in the seat of the slingshot, the driver's seat of the slingshot. And again, there's like a 20 to 30 minute delay where there is no parents around, and they are talking to themselves about where is she. So, this time the boy goes in, and then the boy comes out, and the daughter says, hey, you know, what's going on? Like, I'm hungry, let's go. And he goes, ah, you know, mom's doing what mom does.

And I'm like, what is mom doing? At this point I have to know what mom is doing. What is mom doing? And why is everyone so quiet about it? Is she drinking? Is she drugging? Is she having sex with some man or woman we just haven't seen yet?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. So now I'm getting like, you know, Brian gets curious, right? I'm a troll, so I get curious. I'm like, what is going on over there? So next time I walk out, I just check for a ring. Like, is there a ring on the finger? Is she married?

Is there a man or a woman in the life, you know, somewhere around? No, no ring, okay, all right. So, you know, okay, single mom, got it. Or maybe not, or maybe she's not wearing a ring. I don't know. I can't make that much of an assumption based on the ring, but I was just looking for it, right? I was thinking, I was seeing. So the mom comes out and again, she sits in like the back seat of the slingshot, 10 rows away from any children. And the kid is driving the slingshot. And I'm like, you got to be

kidding me. Okay, the slingshot, those things can go like a hundred miles. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, this kid should not be driving a slingshot. He's not old enough to drive a slingshot. So next time I say to him, next time I see him, I say to him, oh man, I saw you driving the slingshot. Where'd you learn to do that? And he says, oh, that's how I grew up. And I go, you grew up driving a slingshot? And he goes, No, but you know, we off-road and all that other stuff. And I go, are you driving that thing out on the road? Like outside of the resort? And he goes, Oh yeah, we've been all around town. And I was like, how are you, how are you getting away with driving that slingshot? And I thought to my, so I say to him, Oh, I thought you needed a

license to drive a slingshot. And he goes, I don't know, maybe you do. I was like, I don't care. I go, well, oh, you got a pretty cool mom that lets you drive a slingshot. And he goes, eh, like that. He goes, eh. I thought, whoa. So, later on that evening, I have to go to the car to get something. These bungalows have big windows on the front of them. The doors are glass, the double doors are glass,

there's two big windows right next to them. And I go to the car and I turn around just to look because now my car is parked in front of their bungalow, which they're right next to each other. So, I just kind of take a peek in. Of course, you have to. And I can see the kids in there, like sitting on the couch watching TV or doing whatever. And the baby is at the window like this, like please help me or something like that.

Please help me, they're going to take me on another slingshot ride. I need a car seat or something. And so I wave, you know, I wave to the baby. I go, oh yeah, you know, like that. And the baby is like, and the mom sees the baby looking at me, me waving back at the baby. I go into the car, I go into the car to grab my earphones. That's all I was doing. I turn around and all of the shades are closed. Like they had magically been snapped. Like someone snapped their fingers and

the shades were closed. And now I'm like, fuck man, I really want to know what's going on inside of that house. I have to know what's going on inside of that house. So, here's Brian, like, you know, if you go into the bathroom upstairs, which is where I was slept, I slept with a couple of the kids, like, if you go to the bathroom and you stand on the toilet, there's one of those little transoms. It's got like one of those, it's, every window has a shade, but it's those kind you can like, you know, do the little pull down on the string and then they wrap up. So here's Brian on the trance of like staring at, trying to get a look inside the other. At one point I heard yelling.

Now I don't know if they were like having fun yelling or whatever, it wasn't long enough, but I'll tell you what, man, I was so curious as to what is going on in that household, that the mom is letting the kid drive a golf cart, yay, a slingshot around town. So, Astrid and I- And she's disheveled too, after taking so much time to come outside. Yeah, she wasn't, I mean, okay, whatever, that's your personal choice. I'm not trying to make judgment calls on how people live. If you don't choose to doll yourself up, you're at the beach. Who cares? You'll be at your own home. You want to go to the fucking Met Opera, Disheveled. I don't give a shit. It doesn't matter to me. I don't care. Look at that Bianca Soresy. That lady walks out with all of her personal parts hanging out. What's up with that?

I don't know. I saw that again. I mean, listen, I'm all about nudity, but there are some places like the Cheesecake Factory and fucking, you know, the museum in Venice where you don't need to show all your lady parts. It's just not a thing. I don't know. Anyway, but I'm just like, I thought to myself, wow, what is going on in that house? Could it be drinking? Could it be drugs? Could it be just a mom who's taking a nap that's, you know, she's just an overly tired mother because, you know, taking care of kids is not easy. So, is she just overly tired and just getting a moment to herself while the kids are outside? Did she tell those kids to go outside so she could do something?

Yeah, get out. Yeah, get out so I could do my hair away, right, or whatever. But what kind of mother lets their child drive a slingshot down 38, knowing that that's completely illegal. It can't be legal. And she's all the way in the back. Ten rows back. Not even like the seat behind where she could like say, oh, son, be careful. No, ten rows back, where once you get going more than five miles per hour, you can't hear

shit because they're wide open. It's like a, not completely topless, but it's like a golf cart. They have a little top on them, but're they're wide open. Yeah, it's like a that's not completely topless, but it's like a golf cart They have a little top on them, but the doors are wide open. Yeah, okay So now I so Astor and I get jealous at one point We're like look at that fucking slingshot that shit looks fun doesn't it and Astor goes wait Where can you rent those things and I was like, I don't know. Let me check it out So her and I are googling, you know And so we find the place that rents these damn slingshots and so I'm like I call and I say hey

I got a party of whatever and we're trying to get one of those slingshots. Oh so I'm like, I call and I say, Hey, I got a party of whatever. And we're trying to get one of those slingshots. Oh, yeah, no problem. I'll rent you one of those slingshots. What do you do about the kids? You just throw them in the back? Oh, no, you got to put a you got to put a car seat. And I said, Oh, you got to put a car seat. Do these car seats even fit in a slingshot? And she goes, Yeah, it's got straps just like every other car. You just, you know, hook it in and do that and do this. And I okay, and you got to be like 16 to drive, you just hook it in and do that. And I go, okay, and you gotta be like 16 to drive, you gotta have valid driver's license and get that thing outside a neighborhood. And I said, ah, okay, so no car seat.

I wasn't doing this to be curious about the neighbors, but while I was on the phone, I might as well have asked the questions. I was doing this to see if I could- Yeah, verifying what you thought was true. She's quoting us like a thousand dollars for a day, and I'm like, you're out of your mind if you think I'm gonna go sit in

inch by inch traffic in my slingshot So I can listen to my kids complain just as much as they do anywhere else I'm just gonna take them to the water slide. Yeah, why not? Slide somebody knows their name. Do you know what I'm saying? Wow never got to the bottom of it. Never figured it out. Never figured it out. It's an interesting situation. I can only conjecture.

Yeah. That's it. Which my mind goes wild, but you know, what am I gonna do? I couldn't walk in there. Though one of my kids tried to. One of my sons tried to walk in the house, yes. He wanted to go say hi to them.

Okay. So I found him like jiggling and I'm like, get off that porch, what are you doing? But if you get in there, let me know. Take pictures. Tell me what's going on. Please do, I'm so curious. Well, I'm very happy that you guys had a nice little vacay.

Much needed before the kids start back school. And it sounds like an interesting trip. It was, it was a long stretch there where we didn't have a good vacation. So for whatever reason, missed opportunity after missed opportunity. But wow, yeah, that was nice. It was good.

Now I feel like I need to go somewhere else for a vacation from my vacation. Of course, yeah. And you came back in one piece. I did. And the kids are in one piece. Well, most of them anyway. Yeah.

I hope that kid driving the slingshots in one piece. I know, God. Yeah, wow. Unbelievable. Hey guys, our. Yeah, wow. Unbelievable. Hey guys, our tickets are on sale right now for Daniel Point, Miami on the 24th, Orlando, Florida on the 25th. No Margaritaville here, kids. Daniel Point Improv and the Orlando Funny Bone, those are the first two scheduled shows

that we have. We would love it if you would come. If you're going to be there, let us know. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Text us, let us know you're gonna be there. We'd love to hear from you. Those tickets are available on those websites, The Funny Bone in Orlando, Daniel Point, Improv,

or you can go to our website. Astrid has put them up there, and we'll soon release that information on Instagram and TikTok. Here we go. We're doing it. I can't back out now. We signed a contract. It's our test kitchen. Yeah.

Comedy. That's right. Can't get the money back now, Chrissy. It's all over. Game over. We're going to live or die by these two shows. Yeah, we're doing it. Whether or not we come to a town near you, it largely depends on whether or not we make it through those two shows. TCBpodcast.com, that's where you get the information. You can get those links to those shows.

By the way, only buy them from the links that we give you or the website. No, buy them nowhere else because you might be scammed into buying fake tickets. Add the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break. I don't know if I'm scammers or not. Probably not. I don't know if we've reached that level. All right, Chrissy, I love you. I love you.

Best to you. Best to you. The best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say, we will say, and we must say, good-bye! That cow killin' bastards!