The Commercial Break - So You Married A Gringo...

Episode Date: February 23, 2024

Astrid joins Bryan in the TCB Studio for a chat about their multicultural marriage and household…and how she makes the best hallacas in the game! Marriage Miles Astrid’s MacGyver Dad A multicultural marriage So You Married A Gringo… The hardest things to get used to Hispanic stereotypes Venezuelans don't have a physical stereotype other than that they are beautiful Astrid hates Star Wars! Venezuelan conversational talents Spanish-english and english-spanish difficulties When Astrid talks shit about Bryan in Spanish, it’s probably about how he’s a baby Bryan is a drama queen and that’s on that Blue slander! Love

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radish than sex? If it was good sex, then I would rather have sex. But if it was bad sex, I'd rather have a radish. On this episode of the Commercial Break. Well, what if I do need some help? You know who needs some help? Blue. What are we going to do with this dog thing? That's my last question for the show.

Maybe if we should launch a giveaway. I thought about this a long time ago. I would love to give them blue. I just don't think that would be fair to the person we're giving the dog away to. That's not a giveaway. That's like being punished. It's like you can go to jail or take blue. I'd go to prison.

I think I'd go to prison by being serious. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. First, I'll break. I'm Brian Green. This is the greatest achievement of my life. My best friend, my lover, my wife, person who raises my children so wonderfully. Astrid, Astrid, best to you. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. I'm earning marriage miles. Marriage miles, is that what we're calling it now?

Yeah, you forgot to say I'm the best, the person that makes the best ayakas. You do make the best ayakas according to other people who have been brave enough to try those ayakas. I will not be doing that. Thank you anyway. How many, if you had to guess, big round number. Marriage miles for those of you that don't know is the system that Asser and I have in

place to determine how much trouble Brian is in at any given moment, or how much credit I might have in the bank to do something like, I don't know, go out for a night with the bullies, or, like, do that. Or, you know, I don't know, whatever. Go to the tanning bed. How many miles do I have to go into the tanning bed? All right, okay, we won't get into an argument

about this here. But, on a big round number, how many marriage miles do you think I'm in deficit currently? 10,000, 20,000? 10,000. 10,000, that's good. 10,000 probably means that I'm gonna get a little bit of the cold shoulder,

maybe the side eye every once in a while. She's gonna hand me the baby when it's got a dirty diaper cause I have to do those things to earn more marriage miles to get myself back to square. Not the baby thing though. No, I don't want to do poof. That doesn't earn more marriage miles to get myself back to square. Not the baby thing though. No, I don't want to do poof. That doesn't earn you marriage miles. It doesn't?

Not because you're a father. Well, that's good. That's why I don't ever, that's why I always complain when I smell shit on the baby. I'm like, oh, Astrid, how? But I can't do it. I can't do it, baby. You know, I can't do it with the poop. But listen, we could, we could establish like a new part of the program.

Okay. Like, you know where the credit cards, like if you spend for every dollar you spend, you accumulate 0.01 miles. I mean, I could make you the same deal. Like for every dollar you spend on me, I'll award you marriage miles. You're just forgetting one small detail in that whole thing and that is that I at the commercial break

is my living and the commercial break is more than 10,000 marriage miles in deficit. It's way in the black. We don't if people would just start paying us I think we'd be okay but you know the whatever anyway on where to talk about it here yeah i think program so it is like you have to accumulate them yeah and with this current contract we have with the podcast we will be doing this for a lifetime or to get even but you know thanks to the good people at odyssey for taking a chance on us on average of all the people of i wanted to ask this of you and now i'm here on the commercial break what better place to start a marriage disagreement?

On average, of all the people that you know, who have husbands, women that have husbands, would you say that I'm better on average or worse on average than the husbands in your friend and family group? I mean, I don't want to offend my friends and family. No, no, no, this is the perfect place to do it. No one listens to the show. You don't have to worry about that. True.

But. No, I think you're better. Oh, look at that. Look at you. I think you're a very good husband. Well, thank you. I really appreciate that. Welcome.

On average. Listen, I also know how to accumulate. Yeah, yeah. Smartass. You're a negotiator. You're a slick one too. You come across as shy. I think that like- I am shy.

Well, I think you're shy too when you- At first. At first, yes. But once I break the ice, Forget about it. You cannot stop me. No, then you go a mile a minute. Asher and I were in the car today

and there was a 30 minute conversation going on where I never spoke a word. Not one word, I couldn't get a word. On average, better or worse, do you think, what do you think your mom thinks of me as a husband? Oh, my mom thinks you're a very good husband. Oh, she does.

Oh, well that's news to me. She thinks I'm a good, I don't know, I just assumed, I just assumed that I always had, like, I don't know. Have you ever had trouble with my mom? No, I never had trouble with your mom. I never had trouble with your mom. And there's a reason why I, never had trouble with your mom. I never had trouble with your mom. And there's a reason why I've never had trouble with your mom. I feel like I have to play it cool

because I want her to think I'm a fantastic partner for her one and only daughter. And I think she does. Okay, good. On average, better or worse, do you think, what do you think your dad thinks of me as a husband? Because if we're just going on the amount of times in any particular visit or,

you know, when we're together, physically together, the amount of times your father says, I, Brian, even when he's not in my space. And you're not near him. Yeah. But babe, he'll be in another room altogether and I'll hear him go, I, Brian. And I'm like, what did I do? I didn't even do anything. Not even at the safe fucking room. Yeah, but you have to, you have, have you know there's gotta be some context here, okay? So okay, so let's say my dad was giving you a report card like a progress report. Yeah, like a like in the school Yeah, and like on the list of things that

that Me and you know that are related to like handy that mean, you know, that are related to like handy. Handiwork. Handiwork. Yeah, stuff you do around the house and changing tires. You probably get all like non-observed. Non-observed. And no, no.

No. Yeah. And I know that's a big one for my dad because he's like the complete opposite. He is. So, but at the same time, I think on everything else, I do think you... Are we at high marks? Yeah, average marks, average to high. No, I think you get high marks. Okay, I appreciate that. He likes you. And the reason why he says, I.E. Brian,

so much, even if you're not near him, it's because it's probably he's doing a project right. Yeah. We ask him to, you know, hang up, hang a shelf. Yeah. But it's probably he's doing a project right? We ask him to hang a shelf. But it's like maybe something you tried to do before. But fucked it up and he's gotta fix it. So you left like a screw in the wall or something. It's like misplaced or something. So then he makes all his plan and he's drawing and then when he's gonna start the project,

he's like, IE Brian, like, meaning like you're making his job... Harder. A little bit more complicated because... He's gotta fix my mess before he goes in and does it. Yeah, but your dad, I mean, let's be real about this. We'll ask your dad to hang a painting and he will literally come with, like, permit drawings. You know what I'm saying?

Like, when you go down to the city office, it's got architectural engineering land plans. And I'm just, just hang the photo, just to make sure that it's straight. That's all the moment. Well, he wants to make sure it's well done. Well, that we know. If your dad does something,

he goes back out to that MacGyver shack that he built for himself, I'm sure of it. That tool shack back there, that shed. He goes back there and he finds whatever he can and he'll make whatever we need. He's really quite amazing in that way, actually. And I think we've got, we're taking such advantage of your father at this point

that there will be lots of times, when asked, over the last couple of years especially, when Astor and I will have a chore, a task around the house that we don't think we, maybe we have the skills for. But it the house that we don't think we, maybe we have the skills for emergency. No, no, no, no. It's not emergency. If it's an emergency, I can, of course, I can glue and tape stuff together. I mean, if I need to, I can glue it tape or you can hire someone. I hire someone to then do it badly. So your dad could come and fix it later.

Uh, your, we oftentimes will look at each other and say, well, we'll save it for when your dad comes. Yeah. And your poor fucking father He shows up in the door and we're like Hey, hey dad. Yeah a little little hug like a little air hug and then you're like hey dad Can you do me a favor? I need that picture hung I need to put a roof over there I need to move that wall six inches the studio needs some attention my tires are low Can you change the oil?

Do you mind getting up there and playing in the room? He loves it. I think it's part of, it's become like, it's part of his love language. And it's certainly also, it's certainly also the way, the reason why I also get like OCD with things related to that, like let's hang a picture in the wall. And I'm like, okay, we need the tape measure,

because I learned from him. And I want to, I think I consider myself, like I have a very, like my eye, you know, when you hang a picture, I can tell. Like it's a inch off. It drives me fucking crazy. And you and I are the opposite Strife me crazy. Yeah, I am big picture type of guy like if you need me to I don't know

Come up with a marketing strategy, right? I can do that But when it comes to the minutia in the details detail I know I really have to focus on that stuff some things uncertain things, but yeah But I am very detail oriented, so, which is not always good. Sometimes no. There are pluses and minuses, I think, to every personality type. Like I don't know too many people who are as bad at details as I am, but I know there are people out there who are. But then I know people who are singularly focused on on details and I think that can paralyze some people

Yeah, but like for example You and my mom are similar in that sense. My mom is also Like she doesn't get stuff for the little thing. Yeah, like she's like, okay, you know that looks in the wall Yeah, that looks good. That looks pretty but my dad like, like me, we're like, oh no, you know, it's half a millimeter to the right. Off to the right or off to the left. Yeah, I know he, yeah, he really, he, you and your father are exactly the same as that.

I mean, when we built this studio, I tried my best, tried my best to put this studio together because your father wasn't here. But. Well, we did. Well, yeah, we got it together tried my best, tried my best to put this studio together because your father wasn't here. But- Well, we did. Well, yeah, we got it together enough to, you know, hang the TV straight at least and have the curtains there.

You did, and you did most of that work. But when he came in, he saw exactly what needed to be done. And within three days, it was done emaculately, perfectly to the- To the center. He fixed the sound box. He fixed the sound But we have these big sound panels that run across the ceiling here, which is a vaulted ceiling

It's really hard to hang stuff straight on a vaulted ceiling because it's vaulted and I had hung one and it was Occasionally the fan was hitting it because it was so close to this ceiling fan We have and your dad came in and put it within half an inch of the ceiling fan it's never moved. But correct that's where you would find him. Yes. I Brian. I Brian. I Brian. You see? So I'm glad you're here today. Chrissy's out. She's she's out. She's out. She'll be back. But um... It was her birthday. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay happy birthday. We'll get back to the birthday stuff when she comes back. But one of the reasons why I'm glad you're here today is because over the course of the history of the podcast you have become a character

on the podcast played by me and you've only been on the show one other time. But people have often commented via text message or whatever about our marriage and what it's like to be married to someone from a different country. We're not talking about, you know, in case you can't fucking tell, Astrid has a little bit of an accent. I do. She at you. Oh my God. We're on the phone today and we call, we're calling these places for my mother to help my mother out with something and we're calling these places for my mother to help my mother out with something. And we're calling these places, and the first place that we call, it's on speakerphone in the car, the first place that we call, it's very clear, it's very apparent that the woman

on the other end of the phone is Asian. She's of some Asian descent. And she's got a very thick accent. She's having a hard time understanding Astrid. Astrid's having a hard time understanding her. But I even picked up on that. Yeah, but Astrid even picked up on that. But Astrid is so bad at picking up accents that the next place we call, Astrid's having a hard time understanding her. But I even picked up on that. Yeah, but Astrid even picked up on that. Yeah. But Astrid is so bad at picking up accents

that the next place we call, Astrid takes it off speakerphone and she's talking to the lady for some period of the conversation. And she goes, it's crazy. There's another Asian lady with a really thick accent here. And then she puts it on speakerphone. And there is no fucking way under the sun

that this lady is Asian. She's African of some descent and I know it for sure. I mean, I know this accent so well that I'm like, no, no, honey, that lady, there's no way that that lady is Asian, no way. I could have sworn. Yeah, well, you were wrong about that. But people have asked over the years

in different ways and had different conversations, asked about what it's like to have a multicultural marriage, which I think is so common these days. I find it hard to understand how someone can't conceive that, I mean, not like they're being racist or saying that's a bad thing, they're just, some questions are really tough. Well, it's just something different for most people,

I would think, and then they find it, like, I guess, interesting. Like, oh, you know, what is it like? Which it also depends on what culture or different religions. Like, but I think ours overall, it's not very... I don't think we're that dissimilar. First of all, I'll say this. Asher is not a mail-ordered bride. So that's not the situation. We're not not even fianceing. Yeah, because when we did that mail-order bride breakdown,

we did like, you know, three episodes and reviewed that whole movie about the Russian mail-order bride scam that was going on. Someone had the audacity to text and say, well this coming from the guy guy who has a mail order bride, I do not have a mail order bride. I got her on the internet and that's completely different. You've won you mail away. No, I have a mail order husband. You do. You got yourself a gringo. So you married a gringo. What do you do now? Astrid and I met through mutual family connections. Yeah. It was, and neither of us wanted to be set up in that manner, but it just worked.

I really never thought I was gonna... Did you ever think you were gonna marry a gringo? No. But you said that's, you said for, I remember... Well, I was, I had plans to... Emigrate to the United States. Yeah, to move out of the country from Venezuela. So, but...

But you didn't even really think it was gonna be the United States, did you? But I went to Europe. Yeah, you- But you didn't even really think it was gonna be the United States, did you? But I went to Europe. Yeah, you were gonna be in Europe. So I never thought I was gonna end up here or married to a Green Go, an American, but... Also, when I say Green Go, honestly, when we- No offense.

No offense, like we don't say it in a negative way. Please stop with the bullshit, guys. I don't understand why people feel. I guess I get it to a certain degree, but. I don't and I'll tell you why. But we don't really mean it like, you know. We're just. I tell you why.

I'm not a doctor, you're not a nurse. No one's gonna kill anybody. We're just having some fun. I have been called a gringo for most of my adult life because for most of my adult life, I've been in adopted Venezuelan and I've been one of the few gringos in this very large family that I have been great that I've been grateful to have been a part of that includes your family your family is part of that extended family I have

been with for years and I have been called gringo and pelones and pinchy maricon and all kind of different stuff. And let me tell you something. I know what all of it means and I take it as intended with love. I think that we all need to desensitize just a little bit. I know you don't mean, I know and nobody means any harm when they say Gringo, unless it's coming at me from like an angry place.

And then it's a different story, right? You gotta understand the context. So if we're arguing and yelling at each other and then I'm telling you you know you know pinch a green gong we don't say that that's very much the pinching yeah yeah um but but yeah what were we saying well I want to qualify first I want to tell this story I want to say this real quick and then we'll I want to move on to other parts of multicultural marriage but I want to say this Astrid and we're not like

this was not some you know weird love story that came to it is a very strange love story in and of itself in a good way but in a good way we didn't meet on the internet wasn't on tinder i didn't you know go to some mail order service astrid night met the mutual family members and then i fell madly in love with her and chased her around the world until she agreed to marry me and come back to the united states so there you have it, stop fucking around. But the other thing that I want to say is, I never imagined that I would marry a Venezuelan either, but having been around the culture for so much of my life, I

think it didn't feel strange to me to be in love with the Venezuelan because I had been around them for so much of my life. So much of that culture is a part of me. Like I feel it's part of my DNA now. And while maybe a lot of Venezuelans may not agree with that, I think I feel like it's in my DNA. You were used to, it was not something completely new to you. None of this was foreign to me.

It felt familiar. The nine-minute birthday song, the ayacas, the tecanios, the enapepillada, all that other stuff. It's all very familiar to me as well. What's that? Well, maybe it was new to you in the sense that now you have it almost daily at home. Well, yeah. Well, I had it almost daily anyway. Yeah. And you know, when I was, I was with Raphael, 24 hours a day, seven days a week for most of my life.

So who is my best friend? Who is essentially how I got connected to Astrid. So I want to take today's episode and I want to go through some of the things that you may feel having married a gringo. So you married a gringo and then I'll retort also. Sure. What do you think? You think that's a good idea?

I think I feel like that's a good way to waste an hour of our time here on the commercial break. So it's a Friday afternoon episode for you. I think it's a Friday afternoon episode. I'm just guessing Friday afternoon episode for you out there. We're going to talk about multicultural marriage and we'll be back. Bye. Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity

to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB and you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call to leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram

at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCBpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on TCBpodcast.com. Now I'm gonna thank G one more time that we have sponsors, so thank G and here they are. Okay. Most difficult thing about marrying a gringo. What's the most difficult thing

about having married a gringo, besides being away from your natural environment? Hmm. Most difficult thing. Is my penis size? Is it? Well, I was going to say, I was going to ask you. Is it? I love making abilities. I'm not sure if you're making the right question. Okay. Like, should it be like, what's the most difficult thing about marrying

Brian? Well, it's the most difficult thing about marrying Brian? Well, it's the most difficult thing about marrying Brian Can I only say one thing? Yeah, well you can just go ahead and wait. We have an hour so go ahead and waste it, huh? No, um, I don't know that's a What's the culture? What's the culture shock moment for you when you move when we when we came back here to the United States? What was the culture shock moment for you? I? Mean I just need to maybe give a little bit of context. This was not the first time I had been here.

Yeah. Because I had family, grown up that lived here. I came oftentimes as a kid, as a child. Now, being on vacation is not the same as living here, but I was not completely like oblivious of like- What it was to be in the American society. You had had tasted the food, you had been around the culture, you had-

Yeah, like I knew at least the basics, right? So, but I would say the, I think this is not something that applies just to me as a Venezuelan. I would think in general, um, the hardest thing it's maybe established in new connections. Oh, okay. Yeah. Um, you're, especially when you first first moved here, you feel so out of place at first

because you miss your things. And it might sound silly, but it is true. It's like you miss the little cafe you used to go to or hanging with your friends and stuff like that. And then you come in here and it's like, you don't know how, how can I make friends because it's, it's a different culture. It's a totally different culture. So, so yeah.

And I would say too, that in your early twenties, having a friend group that's already established, because Venezuela is such a hot fucking mess or was such, I mean, still is a hot fucking mess, but was a real hot fucking mess when you left. All of your friends also dissipated throughout the earth. Also, they didn't, you know,

not a lot of them stayed in Venezuela, if any of them stayed in Venezuela. So they're all over the world. And then now you have to reconnect. You have to find a way to make a new friend group, to do new things with new people. Was the food a culture shock? I mean, I know you know the American food.

Yeah, it's a big difference. It was not a shock to me like I mean, I know you know the American food. Yeah. It's a big difference. It was not a shock to me like I knew, but I would say that's, I was, the other day I was talking to another, a fellow Venezuelan that I know here and we were talking. Bye Venezuela. And then, and she said this and I agreed with her. And she said, honestly, the hardest thing hardest thing to like get used to and deal with

really is the food. She said that and I was like, I don't disagree. Americans eat terribly. Yeah, I don't disagree. It's just, it's amazing. I mean, the food variety here, it's wonderful. Like I love going to the grocery store and having like, oh my God, the aisle. The food variety here, it's wonderful. Like I love going to the grocery store and having like, oh my God, the aisle.

The cookie aisle and the cereals. It's like your head explodes, but in reality, you're not gonna live off cookies and cereals, right? So I don't know, in Venezuela, we eat a lot of like fresh stuff. Like really- Fruits, vegetables, proteins.

Yeah. Yeah, I think when you go to Spain, you see a little bit of this, not much, but you see a little bit of this or certainly places in Spain. But also, like we are in that sense, like food wise, we're more like Spain. So when we've been there, it feels more authentic. And it's always more of like homemade food. But like, when I say homemade food, it's not like mixing a bunch of like different cans in a crock pot. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I mean, in Venezuela, you don't even have the option to

get like chopped onions in the store. No, you have to add the onion and chop it, you know. Yeah. So it's like, and I see the prawns and the cons to, you know, both. I think we fill our grocery stores with fillers, right? It the appearance of choice makes us feel good, but the actual fillers, the stuff that we don't really need to eat, but we eat anyway, makes us feel bad. It makes us sick and it makes us feel bad.

And I've heard this from a lot of people in a lot of different cultures around the world, which is Americans eat like shit. And the availability of that shit is so voracious that it's hard not to make those choices. When you can pick up the phone and have a pizza at your door in 10 minutes, when you can go to any corner and go a pizza at your door in 10 minutes, when you can go to any corner and go to Chipotle, I mean, I guess Chipotle is better than some, but McDonald's or Wendy's or whatever it is,

I can see how food would be a big deal for your culture. And you bring the Venezuelan food into our house. And I've eaten a lot of Venezuelan food before I met you, but now that I'm married to you, we eat a lot of Venezuelan food. I fucking love it. I think it's all very delicious. And no, it's not tacos. So let's just take that. Let's just take that thought right. Rice and beans.

I think that's got to be my opinion. That's a misconception too. It's a stereotype is what it is. Well, it's like, yeah, I think people will, well, listen fair enough. If you don't know, you don't know. If you don't know, you don't know. And stereotypes are often true in some small way or big way. I feel like with Hispanics in general,

they try to put all of us in one box. And for some things that might apply, but for others, like, no, I was even surprised one time when one of your brothers was like surprised when I said, no, we don't eat tacos. And he was like, you don't. And I'm like, no, actually Mexican food in Venezuela is not a big thing.

No, you don't have Mexican on the corner. There's like two Mexican restaurants. Like no one, it's not even popular. Yeah, and by the way, the food that we eat here. Oh, and I love it here, by the way, but. The food that we eat here that we consider Mexican food is Tex Mexican food. Correct, it's not authentic.

It's not even real authentic Mexican food. I mean, I'm sure there are a lot of places that do serve authentic Mexican food. But like if you go down to the local, you know, just run of the mill, Mexican restaurant that everybody has on the corner, what they're serving, they're serving a very American version

of their food from the home. They have to adapt to the market here. Go back in the kitchen of one of those Mexican restaurants and ask them to cook you actual Mexican food. Or go to the house. Or go to the house of the chef. And then have them cook for you. That's right. It's completely different.

And this is one thing that does surprise me too about our relationship and having fielded, I don't know how you say that, having fielded a lot of questions about Venezuelan culture is how many goddamn people think that, oh, how are the tacos? Are they good? And I'm like, they don't eat tacos in Venezuela. It's not a fucking thing. You can't just paint every person who's south of the border as the same person. It makes no sense.

I might be wrong also. I'm not an expert in all of the Latin American countries, but I feel like the taco kind of culture, it's more like central America, which of course the big one is Mexico. Sure. But I think maybe Guatemala, El Salvador, those countries, I think so. I might be wrong.

There's another stereotype that I think you get a lot, is that all Hispanics are the same, and all Hispanics know all the other Hispanics. No, we don't. It's like, no, you don't. It's just like any other country. I don't know any, I don't know people in Canada don't know what they eat, have no idea. Just because we look alike doesn't mean we are alike. It's the same.

We have smaller countries talking like, you know, geographically like the sizes. Yeah. But still, even though we're smaller countries, it's like, each country has their own cultural differences, even we speak the same language, but we have completely different accents, just like, you know, an American and a British and a South African. Sure.

You all speak English. Sure. But you don't have the same accent. Yes. So the same thing applies for us, Spanish. We all have different accents, even different words that we used to describe different things or name different things. You speak a different type of Spanish, you know, with different vernacular, different

slang words, different accents. Another thing that I have heard, not frequently, thank God, but I have heard sometimes, is people are like, oh, she doesn't look Venezuelan. What does a Venezuelan look like exactly? Because you're light skinned, they think that you have to be some different color to live down near the equator or whatever they believe. It's kind of a ridiculous notion and a dumb stereotype.

Well, in Venezuela, we have a lot of, there's not really a Venezuelan physical stereotype. Well, in Venezuela, we have a lot of, there's not really a Venezuelan physical stereotype. Yeah. Well, there is. Beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Didn't you win like 10 Miss Universes in a row?

Not you personally, but. Yes, we did. Didn't Donald Trump run that Miss Universe? Yes. Yes, okay, so just throw that out there. Let's take that with our grain of salt. We, yeah, there's not a stereotype. We have all kinds of, all races or all colors,

all sizes, like tall, short, you know, all the colors for eye colors. All the rainbow, all the colors of the rainbow exist in Venezuela as they do here in the United States. Exactly the same. It's exactly the same. All the rainbow, all the colors of the rainbow exist in Venezuela as they do here in the United States. Exactly the same. It's exactly the same. Can you draw a picture of how all Americans look like? No, they are all different.

Yeah, I can draw a picture of what all Americans look like. I just draw a big round tummy. That's all I do. No. Do you guys have an obesity problem? Like we have an obesity problem here? No. No? We do have obese people. Of course. yeah, they're all around the world. But, yeah, they're people. They're all around the world.

Yeah, I mean, that is a problem for some people in Venezuela, but we don't have, it's not like here that it's a true. Yeah, it's a true issue. Yeah. 50 over 50% of adults Americans. It's happening in the news all the time. Yeah, it's crazy.

No, we don't have that. It's crazy. Culture shock with music? Well, yes and no. Meaning like... I mean, I know there are cultural differences. I guess my... Listen, I like, of course, I like my music taste. I know you love reggaeton, and that's your favorite brand of music.

No, I don't. What? Oh. Regatone and that's your favorite brand of music. No, I don't What oh, oh, sorry wrong button there um No, but I don't know if it's like well. Yeah, I guess yes I grew up, you know my type of music even though I did listen to some American music But it would go more on like the pop, you know, the very famous. This stuff that goes around the world. Correct. The international pop sensations.

And also you have a very particular, well, I mean, you're very broad, you know a lot about music, I don't. So you like listen to a lot of genres and, and that was all new to me. I was like, yeah, there's still to this day, you name people and vans that I've never heard of. Yeah, there are some, there are some bands or movies that I will say some things that I think are just like

universal pop culture that are clearly not universal pop culture. You've never seen any of the Godfathers, have you? No, but that is pretty popular in Venezuela. Okay, that's good. But no, I have never paid attention to it. Have you ever seen Jaws? Yes. Have you seen any of the Star Wars? I mean, besides the one you went and saw with me. Why do you, what do you have against Star Wars? I don't get it.

That's the only one I've ever seen. And I was like, not, I went against my will. You went against your will. Did you enjoy any of it? No. Be honest. I was counting down the minutes. Were you really? I was. That's like me with that. I don't know what movie You went against your will. Did you enjoy any of it? No. Be honest. I was counting down the minutes.

Were you really? I was. That's like me with that. I don't know what movie you took me to see. One of the- 50 Shades of Grey. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, the other one. Oh, the after?

Under the fruit of the tree or our love never ends or whatever it is. One night only to see this movie. There were seven people in the theater. The movie was an hour and a half long and literally an hour and 27 minutes of that was this guy just walking around this beautiful Sinanoli being sad.

It was a terrible movie. What was that movie called? After. After? The final chapter. The final chapter. How were the other chapters? Much better. So bad, babe.

They were so bad. Movies, television shows, were you exposed to American television? I mean, I know some stuff. I mean, in Venezuela, yes. With cable, of course you have access to, not every single show, it depends on, also we don't have the same channel.

So it depends on what, you You know like it would be like sunny We have a channel sunny entertainment television and they would bring American movies and American television that I guess they buy the rights or something So it was not not everything you have here, but I guess now it's different because now it's Netflix and yeah everything Kind of goes around the world. I mean, I guess even still Netflix sometimes blocks some shows. Yeah, so you have some stuff available here that you don't have elsewhere, but um, I did but I was I really well, I mean friends I would watch friends friends your brother said they watched South Park a lot and Family Guy and stuff like that. Yeah all all the cartoons, like the kids cartoons.

Yeah, it was the same. And the adult cartoons. Yeah. The adult cartoons, The Simpsons, all of that. But I know I never cared for that. So you're a citizen now, right? You have been for a couple of years. Do you feel assimilated?

Do you feel assimilated into the culture? I do. You do? I think you are. Yeah, I am. I don't think there's anything that phases you anymore. No. Like I don't think there's like stuff for you go, oh, what do we You do? I think you are. Yeah, I am. I don't think there's anything that phases you anymore. Like I don't think there's like stuff for you go, oh, what do we do here? Or how does this work? Or at first there were a few things, but it wasn't many.

It was a lot less than I thought it would be actually. Yeah, I think you assimilated very quickly because I believe that your life in Caracas was not that dissimilar to my life in Atlanta. It's really not. Besides all the protests in Chavez. I mean, honestly, our lives are, we live the same way people do here. Like we have the same routines. Yes. You know, yeah. Maybe the restaurants where we're eating,

they're not, you know, we're not eating the same food. That's serving the same food, yeah. But overall, and Venice, I think I can generalize here in Latin America. The Latin American lives are very much followed like an American lifestyle. Yes, yeah, it's very, I mean, not in certainly not. I suppose like to European,

like we really go more towards the American, you know, like the comfort and the big cars and all that. Big cars, fancy entertainment centers, big parties. Yeah. Not like in Europe where everything is crammed. It's all crammed over, like a 10-foot wide space. Yeah, and I do get that sense. Like I've never been to Venezuela.

I hope we get to go someday, but I've never been to Venezuela. But I do get the sense that your life there was just not all that different from your life here. Besides your friends, family, and the language, which I would like to get into, because I would like to understand exactly what you and your family are saying behind my back, so that I can. I thought you did.

Well, I do understand, unless all of you are talking at the same time, which unfortunately, Which is every all the time. Yes, if there's more than two Venezuelans in a room, they're all going to be talking at each other at the same time. You know how, like, Teresa Caputo, we're always making fun of Teresa because she's having multiple conversations at the same time?

Like, how are you- Is she Venezuelan? No, she's not. I don't think she- I don't know what she is. She's an idiot, is what she- She comes from the land of idiots, I'm not sure. But I always wondered how she had all these ghosts talking to her and she was still having a conversation

with a person right in front of her. But I'm starting to maybe think that's, that I observed this in my own life and I'm wondering if I'm wrong about this because you, Venice Waylands, if you're, I just, I'll never forget. There was one time we were at this house, the house that we're at now,

and there was eight of you sitting around the dining room table. Dinner was done, kids were in bed, everyone was talking, and it was sitting in the middle of the table. And everyone was speaking Spanish, but I was watching as multiple people were having multiple conversations with multiple other people.

It's like they were having a conversation with one person. There's like a main conversation with the main conversation, side conversations. But you're still in on the main conversation. You jump back into the main conversation. You come back out, you do a side conversation. Someone yells something and another person disagrees. Yeah, it's like if we all have ADD.

Yeah. When it comes to conversations. It's really strange. But we're able, still we're smart enough that we still like we're able to juggle You juggle multiple conversations at the same time. Well, my brain Barely speaks Spanish and I while I understand it pretty well. I don't think I'm like fluent I don't think I fluently understand it sometimes I I have to ask and stop, and sometimes I get words wrong, but it's an amazing skill set that you have.

Because if I'm sitting in a table with my friends, trying to have a conversation, like I'm like, I don't find it very, I mean, like now that I realize that that's really how we are, I find that it's very rude. And I'm Venezuelan saying this. Can I be honest with you? I think it's kind of rude too.

Not rude intentionally. No, no, no. Not like someone is edging me out of the conversation. But I have noticed that in the Venezuelan culture, it is hard to get into a conversation if you don't fluently speak Spanish and you're ready to be talked over multiple times. Yeah. And that to me doesn't feel great sometimes

Like if I'm sitting at a table with let's just say my brothers, right? I have three brothers So let's say we're having a conversation Each of the each person talks they take their turn Maybe this maybe it's yeah We're not like that and we speak over each other for a minute, but it's like wait Hold on we both can't talk at the same time because no one's gonna hear anything But that's not at all how it happens in the Venezuelan culture and so for that my love for a minute, but it's like, wait, hold on. We both can't talk at the same time because no one's gonna hear anything, but that's not at all how it happens

in the Venezuelan culture. And so for that, my love, I must tell you that it's the one thing that I'm not so jazzed about the Venezuelan culture, but maybe just as a person who doesn't speak the language all that way. And I just wanna understand what's going on. All right, we're speaking with Astrid

about all things Venezuela here on the commercial break as we transition into a bilingual show here pretty soon. We're going to translate what I say in Spanish. No, we'll be back. Let's take a break and we'll be back. I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break and then follow us on TikTok at TCB Podcast.

Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. And don't forget to check out TCBpod Podcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

Alright, so language. what do you feel is still difficult about the English language, the American version of English language? Nothing. Well, here's- I mean, there are things. I mean, I'm a fluent English speaker. It's not my mother tongue, but I'm fluent. Do you think in English?

I do, I've gotten to that. You know, one time I heard that you are like for sure, bilingual. When you start thinking. When you dream. In English? Oh, that's very interesting. That has happened to me already Oh, really? I mean a long time ago, but yes, so I am very confident when I talk in English

Mm-hmm. I know that I do may still make mistakes here and there or don't pronounce the some words correctly or But I don't I'm not like self-conscious So it's like I've gotten to the point where I don't I'm not like self-conscious so It's like I've gotten to the point where I don't care. Yeah, and if maybe you didn't understand then you know You have to repeat it. That's okay. Like I don't feel bad about it. Yeah But um well, that's not a good question for me because I've been bilingual my whole life So that's true things. I think you you things I hear that you still have difficulty with Sometimes you will say he I will get angry with you because you were with a boy all by yourself And then I will realize that you're just

Yeah, but you know that's very calm that's not me no I know it's all it's it is super crazy Yeah, there's something about when you're talking, you know, within a certain speed, like fast. Yes. Not like super slow, where you have the time to actually think every word that you're saying, no, when you're, you know, just having a conversation,

it's for some reason, I don't know what happens in our brains, or I'm gonna speak for myself in my brain, that it's like, I can carry a whole conversation saying, he, she, or even mix them. And I'm just talking about a he or a she. You're just talking about a he or a she, and I've noticed this so much.

I think sometimes you can have difficulty with certain pronunciations. I think that's certainly different from our language, maybe, and that's why. It's the most confusing fucking thing, and I don't understand it. I don't know language. Maybe and that's why. It's the most confusing fucking thing and I don't understand it. I don't know why. I don't know why.

I don't know why. I don't really know why, but it happens. For me, it's one of the hardest parts of speaking Spanish is making sure that you're appropriating it in the correct way. We're appropriating the sentence in the correct way, the male and the female. Yeah, but it's hard for you guys too,

because all of our things have genders. Yes. So even a table has a gender It's it's a he or a she and it's just a table. It's a she Yeah, correct. Yeah, you guys don't have that like things don't have a gender in English. No But I don't know honestly, I don't I don't even know what the explanation is as to why that happens, but it happens Do you stay do you ever still get nervous about speaking out loud in English sometimes? No, not like I mean I mean Oh, you would you know, well when you asked me to come on the show for the first time I worry that I got nervous but

See this is what's crazy because I'm shy like in front of cameras and stuff like that maybe that's where it comes from but or if you can be a microphone in a crowd and go like hey go if I don't if I had not planned for it oh yeah no I remember in our wedding I was like it was a wedding of baptism something and I was like we had a microphone and it was like okay honey do you want to say something to the crowd? And you were like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not saying anything to the crowd.

So what is, tell me what you say about me behind my back in Spanish. Nothing that I don't say to my face. To your face. Never, you and your family don't get together and say anything. No, not even when I refuse to play board games. I'm going to say something, but you already know this. Okay. Even though you might deny it.

That here we go. That you, I don't even know. That your pain tolerance is on the very lower end of the scale. That your pain tolerance is on the very lower end of the scale. My pain tolerance? Yeah. What do you mean my pain tolerance? Pain tolerance, like when you hit your toes with like the table. What does that have to do with Spanish? With Spanish?

You said what does my family say about me in Spanish behind my back that I could learn that my pain tolerance Talking about I am a man Astrid I Think my sick tolerance is low I understand the question the question is do you guys say anything in Spanish behind my back where I could pick up on it? Like you're I want you to let me in on some secrets when you guys say this So what do you say about me about the pain tolerance?

What, how do you say that in Spanish? How would you say that in Spanish? He's a... Well, we can have a whole conversation about it. In Spanish? Yeah. Okay, tell me. Well, I mean, is there like a word? I wanna know if there's a word your family uses.

Oh, okay. No, we're not using like any, no. You mean like a bad word or something? Yeah, like something, you know, some pejorative word that you use or some negative word that you use that I can listen for next time I'm in a conversation and go, oh, yep, they're talking about me. What is, how do you say low pain tolerance?

It's, how do you say that one? I mean, pain is dolor. I don't know. I don't think we have one word for that. Okay. Now, here's a real question that has nothing to do with Venezuela. Yeah. Would you think my pain tolerance is low?

Yes. Okay. Even though correct. But you see, I see. Okay. But let me, let me. I knew you were going to deny. Let me debate.

I'm not denying. I'm, let me debate for a second. If my back hurts on a Tuesday and I don't say anything for the entire day It doesn't count though. Why does my back count? Because you live with back pain, but like we're not no like take the back Okay, so if I stub my toe, oh you think I get over dramatic about it Oh, you do you think I get over dramatic doesn't stubbing your toe hurt? Hmm. Do you think stubbing your toe hurts? Oh yeah, I know. Okay, well just... Yeah, but it's not about that. It's like your reaction. It's like Oscar worthy.

Stop Oscar worthy. I just don't want to cuss in front of the kids. Baby, you almost like... So I often retreat into another room. You throw yourself in the floor. I mean, you should ask Gustavo. He's the one that has done the imitation of when you hit. Gustavo has an imitation of when I stub my toe. So I have a whole thing because I hurt myself when I stub my toe because it hurts. Now I'm all of a sudden I have a low pain tolerance.

Okay, all right. I'm gonna remember that next Someone stumps their toe. I'm gonna remember that I'm not saying it's something that doesn't hurt It does hurt. Yeah, it does hurt and I do stub my toe a whole bunch. I don't know why there's just a lot of protruding things in our house. I don't think my foot knows Listen, I do understand. Part of the reason why I, not maybe not dropped to the floor, but part of the reason why I'll often leave the room is because if we didn't have children and I stubbed my toe, I'd be like, oh, motherfucker, you know, I'd have to get it out.

I'd just say some words and get it out. You know, that first rush of pain and you're like, fuck, or whatever you want to say. Now that we have children, I don't want them to see their daddy yelling and screaming every time he hits his toe, because I'd run around the house, fault me yelling and screaming about how I hit my toe. So now I internalize. I fall to the ground.

I put my hands over my face. Yeah, and you pretend like you're having a heart attack. Heart attack. In front of the kids. And the only thing that happens is you hit your toe with a chair. Oh my gosh, I can't believe you think that this is that traumatic.

I can't believe it. Here I thought, here I thought. Listen, you can do a poll. Amongst. Poll. A poll. A poll. A poll. And not a poll. A poll. Okay, I could do a poll.

Amongst my family members? Yes. When you... Stubbed my toe. Not when you air this episode. When I air this, I'm poll amongst my family members. Yes when you Stubbed my toe. No when you air when I air this I'm gonna ask your family members what they think of me and Then you say do you think Astros trying or Brian? I'm never gonna complain again. I'm never going to complain again about anything I'm gonna literally walk in here with my arm dangling off one day, and I'm gonna be like everything's good fine I'm gonna literally walk in here with my arm dangling off one day and I'm gonna be like, everything's good. I'm fine.

I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna just say a word. I gotta be honest, I do stub my toe a lot and it really does hurt very bad. No, but in like overall, do you think they have low pain tolerance? No, I don't. I think I do, I think I do become a baby sometimes when I get hurt, but I don't think it's really about when I get hurt. I think it's baby sometimes when I get hurt, but I don't think it's really about when I get hurt. I think it's more about when I get sick. When I get sick, I hate being sick.

It drives me crazy. So I definitely think I'm a baby when I'm sick. Yeah, but you're a man, so. Yeah, I think that's pretty. It kinda comes. Yeah. I mean, I apologize to all the men out there. Yeah.

What's it mean to me? Well, they all know it, baby. Sorry, guys. They all know. It's true. All men are. Are men in Venezuela just as big a baby as when they get sick? Oh, yes. Yeah.

And... It's... It's a... It doesn't matter. It... The... How do the guys in Venezuela handle when they stubble their toe? Is everything okay down there?

They continue with their lives like nothing happened. I continue with my life like nothing happened, too. After five minutes of doing this. You're now, you're being dramatic. I'm gonna record you. Okay, record me. I'm gonna post it on Instagram. I allow it, I allow it.

Record me, next time I stuff my toe, record me. We'll see if that's an overreaction because I think I'm just reacting appropriately. No, because now you're not gonna overreact. No, no ma'am. You're gonna be like crying on the inside. Never going to tell you again when I hurt myself. I don't want to be a low pain tolerance kind of guy,

but I am a low pain tolerance kind of guy. I don't think I have low pain tolerance, but I don't think I have high pain tolerance either. That's for sure. But you know, what are you gonna do? Well, but listen, you have like blood tolerance. I have blood tolerance. You have no tolerance to anything red in color.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. You faint a lot and I over dramatize my toe stubs. So I guess in that sense we're perfect for each other. Yeah. Because when the major medical incidents happen, I can take care of them. And when I stub my toe, then you can take care of me. How's that?

Then you don't need no one to take care of you for hitting your toe. Well, what if I do need some help? You know who needs some help? Blue. What are we going to do with this dog, babe? That's my last question for the show. Maybe we should launch a giveaway. I thought about this a long time ago.

I would love to give them blue. I just don't think that would be fair to the person we're giving the dog away to. That's not a giveaway. It's like being punished. It's like you can go to jail or take blue. I'd go to prison. I think I'd go to prison.

I'm being serious. Listen to her, she's just barking for no reason. Why is she barking? Because it's close to time to being fed. Yeah, I know. Why did we choose to get that dog again? Why did you choose to get that dog again? Because I moved here and I was very lonely.

Okay, I get it. I got it. It's the time I got it. And to be fair to Blue. I'm okay now, so Blue, you can go. She's with us for the next 30 years. You know that, don't you? She's gonna live to be a fucking hundred. You know that, don't you? She's gonna live to be a fucking hundred.

You know it. You know it just like I know it. That dog is gonna outlive both of us. We're literally gonna have to put her in our will. Oh my God. Yes. And she gets crazier by the minute. You think I'm dramatic about my toe?

Blue's dramatic about everything. Everything. Well, yeah, that's for sure. Oh God, it drives me crazy. Well, you know how they say dogs are like their owners. Yeah, okay, don't even go there with me. I told you when we got that fucking dog. What did I say?

In the parking lot. You are the owner. I'm the, we are the owner. On the paperwork, it says Brian Green. What paperwork goes along with ownership of a dog? Okay, answer me. County? Riddle me this. Okay. She's registered in my name. Ants, riddle me this. When we were sitting on that dirt road in front of that trailer,

waiting to go inside and get blue, what did I say to you? I said, are you sure you want a Yorkie? Because they're going to be loud and obnoxious. Yeah, they were cute for the whole ride home. She was cute. And they're hypoallergenic. Well, that Yeah, they were cute for the whole ride home. She was cute. And they're hypoallergenic. Well, that's true. We did have to get that because my pain tolerance is low. So we couldn't get it. So we couldn't get it.

Your allergy tolerance is also low. Well, I do have to say this as a kind of stopping point here. I love you. I think you being Venezuelan, to me it's part of what makes my love for you so strong, your culture, your attitude toward things, the DNA inside of you, your funny little accent that I love so much and sometimes make fun of here

on the show, the food, the warmth, the everything. I think you're a beautiful people and I'm so blessed I think to be in the orbit of the Venezuelans. Thank you. That's very sweet. You're welcome. Now I'm gonna go wrap my toes in bubble tape.

Listen, I feel the same about the American culture. Oh, thank you. And like we often say our perfect culture, it's a mix between what we think it's like the good from here and the good from my home country. Is that what they say? No, you and I.

Oh, you and I, yes. Yes. I'm sorry, I forgot that conversation. I was on the floor with my toe. You're never gonna live that one down. Never. All right. Okay. There it is.

A little insight into the multicultural marriage that is Brian and Astrid. And yeah, I love you. I love you too. I love you with all my heart. Very much. So can we go make some ticanios? 5,000 marriage points for today's episode? Am I going to get deducted for any reason on this episode?

Because if so, I'll edit it out. No, I don't know. No, you're good? Okay, good. No, I think it's been an enjoyable episode of the commercial break. I hope so. Listen, Chrissy and I come, we yuck it up all the time. It's a bunch of fun. We talk about stupid shit. But I do like every once in a while when we can have like an actual conversation. Yep. So, um, thank you. I really appreciate it.

I love you. Thank you. I love you. You're my best friend. Alright, TCBpodcast.com. That's where you go. You find out more information about the show. You can watch all the video. You can listen to all the audio Right there from one location TCB podcast calm. What's so funny? Well not all the video but most of the video

We'll get back to it I swear to God we will add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB, podcast on TikTok. Just go to Instagram, don't even bother with TikTok. Add the commercial break and youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's where you go. You can find all the video that we have edited and put out there is also on the YouTube channel. Also, youtube.com slash the commercial break. It would be nice if you would go there and subscribe, like and comment on your favorite video. We certainly would appreciate it.

Also, if you want your free piggy fronting sticker, you know what you have to do? You have to go to the contact us button on the website, drop your physical address, and then Astrid, this beautiful lady, will send you a sticker for free. No problems, no questions. When I get to it. Yeah, once she gets around to it. Sorry. Are behind it's good on that we'll get on that don't worry about it two one two four three three three tcb that's two one two four three three three tcb questions comments concerns content ideas we take them all right there ask brands mom as tcb you need some advice

you can leave a text message you can leave a voicemail, whatever you choose, it'll ring right here in the studio, and one of us will answer you. I promise we will. Okay, I guess that's all I can do for today, hun. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you too. And I'll tell you best to you.

Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Astro and I will say, we do say, and we must say, good bye. Goodbye. Yeah boy!