The Commercial Break - Starlink & Superbowl Stink!

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Bryan & Krissy review all the sports action! Noted sporting enthusiast Bryan discusses the Superbowl flop by the Chiefs, the Starlink space junk and all the commercials boring us in between celebrity sightings! Watch episode #696 on Youtube Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's so many things I want to do and see. Like redoing the basement without having to do it all myself. Or doing absolutely nothing. With a spectacular waterfall view, of course. So, I'm starting here. Investing with RBC. When it comes to reaching your goals, personalized advice and performance matter. And now, you can get $300 when you invest with RBC.

Offer ends March 3rd, 2025. Terms and conditions apply. Invest with RBC today. And welcome back to WSHIT's coverage of sports. And filling in for our normal sports announcer, Rod Quackenbush, is noted sports expert, Brian Green. Let's go to Brian now. Brian, what's going on in the sports world? Hello everyone. Well, the Ball State softball team continued to play this weekend,

and they were hoping to continue off of their straight three out of four losses. And so we'll take a look and see how that happened. They started off good, but then eventually, the Ball State women's team shot down and ended up doing poorly. Oh no. And the... okay. We're going to continue on now. The ladies cardinals will play an Iowa tournament starting this Friday. Before the Ball State baseball team kicks off its conference season this weekend, the Cards will battle an in-state rival Indiana tomorrow. Tomorrow's game will be the meeting between the two, beating both... Uh, thanks Brian. We'll take it from here. We'll check on Brian's man card and then we'll get back to this episode of the Commercial Break.

Oh no. Oh no. On this episode of the Commercial Break. I will not be signing up for T-Mobile's Starlink service. No, I mean, I'm not gonna sign up for T-Mobile. Sounds like you are. Mad at you now. We're not friends anymore. The Jurassic Park 17 is coming out with Scarlett Johansson, and I couldn't be less

excited if you asked. If you tried to make me less excited about something, I couldn't be less excited about Star, uh, Starlink. I'm out of your app. I'm still stuck on it. I'm sorry. If you use Starlink, God bless you. If you're listening to me on Starlink, God bless you.

God bless you. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. listening to me on Starling. God bless you. God bless you. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this dumb show, Chris and Joy Holdley. Best of you. Best of you, Brian.

Best of you out there on the podcast universe. All my friends and family all across the country, I say hello, how are you doing? And I must also say hello to my friends and family in Philadelphia. May you not kill each other with a five-day celebration that will be for the Super Bowl. Well, they are the city of brotherly love.

Well, I'm already reading they're the city of brotherly love, tearing the city of brotherly love apart currently right I'm already reading. They're the city of brotherly love, tearing the city of brotherly love apart currently right now. Did you know that they canceled school? Oh, they did? In Philadelphia on Monday, a week before the Super Bowl even happened. Oh, wow. They were preparing.

They were preparing because they knew that no parent would be in a condition to drive their child to school the very next day. They were getting the DUIs off the street because everyone was gonna celebrate well into the night, regardless of whether or not they won or they lost. And man, did they. I was just reading all about the shenanigans

going on in Philadelphia last night and probably well into the morning as the Philadelphia Eagles won over the Kansas City Chiefs. And the, excuse me, the Taylor Swift chefs. The Taylor Swift chefs lost to the Eagles in a romp, Chrissy, in a total romp. That really was a romp. God, Chiefs had zero going into halftime. They had no fight in them. They had no answer for what the Eagles were throwing at them. The Eagles defense, it looked like they were playing against children.

It really did. They sacked my home six, seven, eight. I stopped counting after a while. Yeah, it was shocking. Six, seven, eight times. Interceptions, all kinds of stuff. This is coming from a guy who does not know the first thing about sports. And I'm telling you what, even I could tell that the Eagles were just superior to the Chiefs. It was embarrassing. I think I even texted that to you at one point. It was embarrassing. Yeah, it was definitely shocking. I don't think anybody expected it to the Chiefs. It was embarrassing. I think I even texted that to you at one point. It was embarrassing. Yeah, it was definitely shocking.

I don't think anybody expected it to go like that. No, I don't think anyone expected it to go like that. It was clearly, I think the Chiefs were favored going into the game because- That barely, just a little bit. Oh, they're just a little bit? Okay, so Chrissy keeping an eye on the MGM bets there. The favor just a little bit going into it. They have the experience. They've won two in a row.

They beat the Eagles in the Super Bowl two years ago. And so you just kind of think, well, they have the upper hand and they've got Patrick Mahomes, who whether or not you like the guy, he's really good at football. He is really good at football. He creates plays out of thin air. He can run the ball. He can pass the ball. He can twirl around. I mean, in the last quarter, there was a few flashes of brilliance from Patrick Mahomes, but that was it. I think they held him to like less than 200 yards of off. It's just insane. The numbers were insane. And as I mentioned yesterday on the show, I don't even know what that means, but it doesn't sound good. It just doesn't sound good. No.

But it was, so while the game may have been less than entertaining after the second quarter, everything around the game was to be watched because that's what the Super Bowl is. It is a ridiculous television program to entertain a hundred million people with lots of commercials, dancing, and other shenanigans and dramatics.

Am I right or am I wrong? That's right. I was excited about the commercials and I don't know. I think the early 2000s were really like the... Hey, Dave. We were on the precipice of advertising greatness and it has all fallen off a cliff since then because I didn't see one commercial, except for the breast cancer commercial, that I thought did the job of making my eyes open

a little bit wider. Wow, that was a really good commercial. It was interesting, too, the clients that were in the ads. I didn't expect a lot of those. I was like, they have that much money to advertise in that? Well, you're really shooting your shot, I guess. If you're paying $8 million for 60 seconds, you are shooting your shot.

Unless you're one of these, like we'll go through some of the commercials in the next segment, but I, you know, one of the things that I thought was strange is they told us there was gonna be a lot of AI-focused commercials. And while there were AI-focused commercials, I didn't think they were all that brilliantly done.

Like ChatGPT had a commercial where they just a bunch of dots, just a bunch of dots, made a bunch of pic... It was like the... It was so stupid and uninteresting that I don't know what the point was. Why did we do that, ChatGPT? I thought... A lot of them were like that,

where I was like, what did that mean? Well, yeah, Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey are in, you know, 12 of the 64 commercials. Yeah, they were a lot. Yeah, okay, we get it. They're buddies. What does that have to do with AI? I'm not really sure. I mean, I think there was some narrative going a lot. Yeah, okay, we get it. They're buddies. What does that have to do with AI? I'm not really sure.

I mean, I think there was some narrative going on there, but I really didn't get it. And then Matthew McConaughey is in every single commercial that they have, like- Well, Jeep was like a main sponsor of the show. Oh, it was? Yeah, they had a big commercial for Jeep where the commentators were.

Oh, they did? Before the game, yeah. Oh, okay, yeah, Jeep. All right, good for you, Jeep. So he's their Jeep guy. Oh, Matthew Conahay is a Jeep guy? Oh, I thought he was a Buick dude. I thought he was a Lincoln Continental dude. He was a Lincoln, you're right. Yeah, wasn't he? Wasn't he driving around that Lincoln saying things like, I keep getting older and they say the same age.

things like I keep getting older and they say the same age. Well, that's an American graffiti, but. That's not American graffiti. American graffiti. 1964. No, no, no, wait, what is it? I loved that movie too. I'm gonna let you think about it. I'm gonna let you stir you for a second.

I was about to say Fast Times at Ridgemont High. That's not it. It's not Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Do you know it? Dazed and Confused. Dazed and Confused. That's right. Dazed and Confused.

One of the great movies of the 90s, for sure. Which has an American Graffiti feel. It does, only American Graffiti was set in the 50s and this was set in the 70s. But I get what you're saying. I understand. It's like kind of a one night out type of, you know, riding around in cars and chasing girls and all that other stuff. Okay, I get it. Anyway, I thought that the Super Bowl was over dramatic and overproduced on behalf of Fox, but that's what Fox does. That's what Fox has been doing since Fox came on air. They just have a certain flair for the dramatic. They do things different than the other networks do, not good or bad or indifferent.

It just is what it is. They had the whole opening with Lady Gaga, which- I like that. I thought it was touching. I didn't know why we had to have all of the football commentators surround her. Like, you know, I think it would have been more prescient if that would have been police officers or firefighters

or people in the military, people that are real heroes because the song is about, you know, something. The song was about something, something sad. It was touching. Well, I think it's from where the truck plowed into. Yeah, it was right on Bourbon Street. Yeah, they were doing it right on Bourbon Street. How they got Bourbon Street closed like that, I think it's from where the truck plowed into. Yeah, it was right on Bourbon Street. Yeah, all the people. Yeah, they were doing it right on Bourbon Street.

How they got Bourbon Street closed like that, I don't know. So Astrid said, you know, oh, that was, you know, do you think they did that live? And I'm like, fuck no, they didn't do that live. They probably did that at three in the morning when they could close down Bourbon Street. True. Because I would bet you dollars to donuts that none of those bars would agree to close. Days or the day of the Super Bowl? No way.

When the Super Bowl is in New Orleans, those people are making hand over fist cash on liquor unless Fox just paid them a dick load of money. But my interpretation would have been that they probably did that really early in the morning or really late at night and had a crowd show up to do that. They thought it was a little weirdly positioned with all the football commentators, but the song was beautiful and the point was taken and I understood. So I thought, oh, okay, all right, a little shout out. Then they did a God Bless America. Who was that? Little Shorty?

Oh, no, Trombone Shorty. Trombone Shorty. And then John Battiste. And then John Battiste did the- He was great. I loved him. He is an incredible musician. He is an incredible musician. And then they had Harry Connick Jr. come out and he did a little, you know, let's get this party started kind of thing. And I thought all of that was very New Orleans.

It was. I liked it. I think they did a good job of adding the flavor of New Orleans into the actual production. They then had some very famous college marching bands that came out and did their thing. I enjoyed that. Yep, that was a very New Orleans thing to do too. So I think they did a good job of representing New Orleans. I will say that.

I do too. Yeah. But just a touch of the dramatic, like a touch of the dramatic for Fox. But I get it, that's what Fox does and that's what Fox needs to do. And let us not forget, the game is secondary to the entertainment value that it's providing. The point is to keep you hanging around during the commercials and they have done a good job. The Super Bowl collectively and the NFL in general has done a good job of making this

a spectacle. You much must watch regardless of who's playing and regardless of what the score is. You have to watch for the commercials. And the halftime show. And the halftime show, which was Kendrick Lamar, which I thought was fine. I thought it was good. I know there was a lot of messaging going on in there. I only, and I'm just being honest about this,

I only got some of that messaging after I read about it on social media, but Kendrick is great. He's a super entertainer. He's out there in the middle of the Superdome with 12 layers of clothes on in full gloves. I mean, I understand it's a style he's got going on, but that dude was sweating. Yeah. Yeah. You're under those lights and you're wearing like that, the two heavy coats and gloves and these big boots. I mean, that must have been a lot to go out there and shake it like that for a long time. Yeah, dance around. Yeah. But I thought that the Super Bowl half-time show was fine. It was fine.

I guess I missed that Serena Williams came out at one point. I kind of missed that. Serena Williams came out at one point? Yes, she was there. Where was Serena Williams? She was part of the show. Yeah. Really? She came out. Truly? Yes. Seriously? Yes. That's what I was reading about. And I truly? Yes. Seriously? Yes. That's what I was reading about.

And I was like, I've missed that. I am getting too old. How did my brain just fart and not see Serena Williams? Yeah, she was there. I watched the entire thing pretty intently, and I didn't see Serena Williams, not once. Maybe you just didn't recognize her. She was kind of glammed out.

Oh, was she glammed out? Was she one of the dancers? I can't remember. Again, I missed it, but I read that she was there. Oh, you missed the Kendrick Lamar? Oh, you missed the Serena Williams thing. Gotcha. Yeah, well, I missed it too.

And I was watching pretty intently. So there you go. And then, you know, so I thought, obviously, the Super Bowl is a very polished performance. They had a lot of celebrities there. They did a good job of showing the celebrities, but not being overly heavy on, you know, showing the celebrities.

I think Fox and the NFL in general have probably learned that showing Taylor Swift after every play that Kelsey is involved in is bad news. Trump was there. He admittedly got a rousing applause from the crowd at the Superdome. And then they showed Taylor about 30 minutes later. And she got a rousing boo from the crowd.

Well, it was predominantly Eagles fans that were there. It sounded like it, didn't it? It really did. Yeah. It sounded like it. Now, maybe that's because the Chiefs fans have been blessed with two appearances and two wins already, and it's kind of perfunctory at this point. Maybe they didn't show up.

Maybe they were like, oh, we've already, you know. If you're apt to go to the, see the Chiefs win a Super Bowl, you probably have already done that. If you have extra $12,000 to drop, you probably went to one of the last two. And so, and when you think of Philadelphia, the Eagles fans do like a good party. And New Orleans is where a good party is. So they're probably getting out of the cold, coming down to the New Orleans, sitting in the soup for a couple of days and then, you know, going and watching their team. Absolutely kicked the shit out of the Chiefs. I don't think Travis Kelce had one catch. Did he have one? Maybe at the end there? I think maybe one at the end, I think.

Yeah. They just like... But it was bad. Patrick Mahomes rendered useless during the game, basically. And then the celebrities that were there, they had... I saw Kevin Costner next to Pete Davidson. Kevin Costner is such a cuck. Which I thought was a funny combo.

Yeah. Honestly. Seriously. Pete Davidson, I like. I like Pete Davidson. When... I have a newfound. Yeah. Honestly, seriously. Pete Davidson, I like. I like Pete Davidson. I have a newfound respect after watching him do stand up because he was really good at it. He was very funny.

And that is not what Pete Davidson is known for. He's not known to be a stand up comic. He was really good at it. I thought he was, I thought he did an excellent job. But to see Kevin Costner, first of all, in every commercial talking about freedom in America and where, you know, all of us have one together and all this other bullshit, he's just such a cuck. And I don't know, Kevin Costner I'm not a huge fan of right now.

But then to see him next to Pete Davidson was an odd couple. It was. I was like, oh, there it goes. Yeah. Pete Davidson is a drugged out, tattooed, you know, kind of stoner character. And Kevin Costner is the opposite of whatever that is. Kevin Costner is the kind of guy that if you borrow $5 from him, he will remember it six years later. Do you know what I'm saying? I just imagine that's who he is.

Really? Yes, that's how I imagine Kevin Costner. He's got a spreadsheet like my dad does. You owe me $5. Where's that $5? When do I get the $5? You told me you would have it to me last week. There are two kinds of people in this world, let's admit it. They're the kind of people who remember you owe them money and the kind of people who understand that you borrowed it because you don't have any in the first place, so you're probably not giving it back. And I like the other, I like the second part better than I like the first ones. I'm just sharing that with everybody. Yeah, everybody likes the second one.

Kevin Costner is the first. He's the guy who remembers you owe him $5. I don't like that. And Pete Davidson is no shit, the second kind. Not because Pete is irresponsible with cash or doesn't care whether or not you pay him back. He doesn't remember, okay? That's Pete Davidson. So Pete and Kevin Costner were sitting together.

I don't know who was in Taylor's box. I couldn't see who was in Taylor's. Some other famous people were in Taylor's box. I think she was sitting with the Kelsey family also. Maybe that was Kelsey's sister. And well, Brittany, I'm sure was in there with her, Mahomes. Oh, Brittany Mahomes. Okay. All right. And then I saw that Paul Rudd was there. Oh, yeah. Oh, I saw Paul McCartney too. With Paul McCartney and Adam Sandler. That's a box where I think I would have enjoyed.

Yeah, that seems like a fun box. Adam Sandler, Paul Rudd, a Chiefs fan. He looked like he was in a lot of dismay. Who were the other celebrities that were there? Who else did we see? Hold on one second, I took notes actually. I don't know why I'm just trying to guess while I took a bunch of notes.

Anne Hathaway was there. Oh, Anne Hathaway was there. She's an Eagles fan. I missed that. Anne Hathaway is on my list for sure. Yeah, I had Anne Hathaway. That's what I had. Pete Davidson, Kevin Costner, Anne Hathaway, Trump and Taylor Swift. Listen, say what you will about Trump. He seemed to be very well received by that crowd. Very well received, which has not always been the case when Trump has been in the building. He has oftentimes been booed. That's the first time a president has ever gone to the Super Bowl.

Oh really? Yeah. Is that true? The first time a president has ever gone to the Super Bowl? A sitting president. Huh. Yes. You would think that, what is it, Super Bowl 59 or something?

You would think that after all this... It was Licks. It was Licks. Oh yeah, that's right. L-I-X-X. L-I-X. L-I-X. What is that?

What does the L stand for? The L stands for? It stands for 50. L-I-X. L is 50. So that means one before 10. So 59. Yeah, that's right.

Okay, so 59. So, you would think that after 59 Super Bowls there would have been one president who decided to show up. Well that's taxpayer dollars well spent right there. Shut down the Super Bowl so that Trump can come in and check it out. Listen, I got no problem with Trump showing up at the Super Bowl. It's obviously one of those things that all Americans, most Americans tune in. It is surprising when I read that, that no one else, no other president, sitting president has said that.

I thought Obama was a big football fan. And certainly Bill Clinton, the Super Bowl's got a lot of ladies that show up too. Ladies of the night, you would think Bill Clinton would have been there to get some action, right? I don't know, hey, what do I know? I'm just a guy, I've never been to a Super Bowl. I'll never go to a Super Bowl.

I don't know, it just seems like not something that I'd, it's of all the sporting events that I could go to, the Super Bowl is way down on the list. I've been to parties surrounding the Super Bowl. Like when we, Atlanta had the Super Bowl, when was that? 10 years ago, something like that. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we've had a couple of them here. Jeff and I went to some parties around it, and it was kinda eh. You went to like some parties that were like Super Bowl sanctioned? That, yeah. I mean, they were kind of like parties with athletes and people around it, music. Did you go to that Shaq thing?

Is that what you went to? No. Oh, okay. The Shaq. Shaq puts on a big- Oh, Shaq. Yeah, he becomes a DJ for a night. Yeah, that's right.

No, I didn't do that. It was something that was over on like, you know, Howell Mill, the West Side, one of those warehouse things. Like one of those warehouse things? Yeah. And what do you mean by it was like eh? It you know, Howell Mill, the West Side, one of those warehouse things. Like one of those warehouse things. Yeah. And what do you mean by it was like eh? It was just like kind of a boring party?

Well, no, I mean, I'm just not into that, those kinds of parties where everybody's kind of trying to vie for who's there and who's looking and who's, whatever, I don't know. Yeah, it's like a scene. Scene and be seen. Scene and be seen kind of party. Yeah, that's admittedly not my scene either,

mainly because no one's looking for me. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I think if people were looking for me, then it would be more exciting. Yeah. I'm more of a naked hippie in the wood kind of party. Because no one's looking for me there either, but at least I get to see tits. You know what I'm saying? So that's kind of my, that's more my scene.

If there's boobs, then I can appreciate it. I think when the, not this time when the Super Bowl happened, but the last time when the Super Bowl happened, I did go to a couple of the strip clubs here days before. Now the day before the Super Bowl, we had a big ice storm. But it was like a couple of days before and I went to a few of the strip clubs and it was lit. It was hopping. It was lit. Slamming. Slam packed.

Yeah, Lana's known for having a lot of great dance halls where you dance naked. They are. Or they dance naked and you watch them and pay them to dance naked. Yeah. And yeah, I have no problem with that. Gold club, baby, the gold club.

Do you remember? The gold club, of course. Pink pony club. By the way, now one of my daughters is singing that fucking pink pony club, you know. At theony Club. By the way, now one of my daughters is singing that fucking Pink Pony Club, you know, at the Pink Pony Club, Chappelle Rhone. Now let me explain. I normally wouldn't have any problem

with my daughter singing a Chappelle Rhone song, as long as the lyrics were appropriate, but she's a little girl. She is not even six years old yet, this one I'm talking about. She's not even six years old yet. And to anybody who lives in Atlanta, Pink Pony Club takes on a whole different meaning. Because the Pink Pony Club is the largest strip club in Atlanta. It is extraordinarily famous. And if you've lived in Atlanta long enough,

you've been to a Pink Pony Club, no doubt about it. There used to be two, they shut one of them down. But I went to the grand opening of that one, of that pink, of the second one. I think that was the one that we went to. We went together. Yes. Yes. And I got propositioned by another executive at the company to have sex with him and his wife.

Yes, that's right. That's right. Very not cool. Don't sleep with other executives and their wives. Just sharing that with you. Unless they have cocaine, then you can do it. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. We'll run through the commercials on the Super Bowl. We got lots more to talk about. Thanks for joining us on this episode of The Commercial Break. We'll be back.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCBpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire Commercial Break Library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at TCBpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for a payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. College holds a mythic place in American culture. It's often considered the best four years of your life and hailed as a beacon of integrity and excellence. But beyond the polished campus tours, there are stories you won't find in the admissions pamphlets. The higher-ups are concerned about one thing, and that is avoiding scandal.

It's no wonder that college campuses capture the nation's attention, especially in moments of upheaval. I'm Margot Gray. Each week on the Campus Files podcast, we bring you a new story. It was the biggest academic scandal in the history of college sports and probably in the history of academia. On Campus Files, we cover everything from rigged admissions to the drama of Greek life. A chancellor having a pornographic double life is an extremely rare case. Listen to and follow Campus Files, an Odyssey Original podcast,

available now on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. All right, let's talk about the most important thing regarding the Super Bowl, which is, of course, the commercials. Doesn't matter who's playing any given year. By the way, I had no dog in this fight. Like, I am not a fan of the Chief. Like I am not a fan of the Chiefs, I am not a fan of the Eagles,

I don't really care either way. But my kids got excited about the Chiefs because they like their ketchup and mustard colored uniforms, right? That's the- Yeah, somebody else mentioned the colors were better. I know. I kinda like green, I don't know.

One of my kids said ketchup and mustard, I was like, oh, that's true. It is ketchup and mustard. Anyway, so they like the ketchup and mustard, I was like, oh, that's true. It is ketchup and mustard. Anyway, so they like the ketchup and mustard and then, you know, the girls like Taylor. So of course they're going to vote. You know, they're going to run with that. So I will say I had no dog in the fight, but I thought, okay, I'll root for the Chiefs. Why not see them three Pete?

That'd be cool. I guess, you know, see some history. Yeah, a little, you know, those numbers are broke. Records are broken all the time. It's part of what makes sports interesting is when you can, you know, those numbers are broke. Records are broken all the time. It's part of what makes sports interesting is when you can, you know, go ahead and break a record or do something interesting. Get 5,000 yards in one game!

But, I quickly became an Eagles fan, like within a quarter. I thought to myself, wow, these guys are playing superior football. And for a guy who doesn't know the first thing about football, I thought, yeah, this is cool. I like to see this. I like to see someone just dominate,

picking people apart, picking a team apart. That was really good football played by the Eagles. So I will say, by the end of the first quarter, I was like, okay, go Eagles. Why not? It was definitely a revenge win. That's right. So let's talk about the most important commercials

of the day, because of course, the most important thing is the commercial breaks. Right, Kirstie? That's right. So let's talk about the most important commercials of the day, because of course, the most important thing is the commercial breaks, right, Kirstie? That's right. There you go. T-Mobile has decided that they are going to hook up with another big cuck, Elon Musk. The guy is single-handedly destroying our earth right now. Elon Musk, they're going to hook up with him and do some Starlink thing where you can get phone coverage anywhere. There is not a place where I travel that I need that kind of coverage. If you're looking to get me on the top of Mount Everest, that's not going to happen. I do not go in the middle of the Sahara Desert. I am not camping out in Yosemite. I am not in the great wilds of Alaska or Canada, the great northern Canada. I am not any of those places where I would need Star

Link coverage. A way to think about just yourself. Well, hey, no one, I mean, who is? Does Verizon not cover most of that? There's plenty of people that go out to those remote locations and people in other developing countries. So I, you know, Starlink itself, I think is probably a good thing. I don't think so. I don't think so. And I'll explain why. Okay. You are fucking up the one place close to earth that we have not fucked up yet,

which is our near earth atmosphere. You are stuffing it full of little flying machines that by the way are coming down out of the sky all the time. There's a lot of space junk. Yeah, there's a lot of space junk and we're just creating more space junk, which is going to make it harder and harder to fly into space, harder and harder to see our own stars, harder and harder to navigate, all these other things. This is like one huge experiment that no one knows what's going

to happen. And now there are tens of thousands of those things flying in the sky. I have seen them with my own eyes. It is rather disturbing because they are not stars. They are just little satellites providing internet to people in the Sahara Desert, I guess. Listen, I understand, I agree with you. In developing countries where you don't have internet access, I can understand how Starlink could be beneficial. But I think you could

probably do that for developing countries with far fewer pieces of space junk flying through there. I just don't agree with like filling our sky with a bunch of junk and hoping that everything turns out okay. I think we should have been a little bit more careful about deciding to allow somebody just to throw tens of thousands of satellites in near earth orbit and hope that everything's gonna go okay. That's my personal opinion, you know? Yeah, you can have it.

You don't wanna go to space. What's that? Anyways, you don't wanna go to space, do you? Well, now you do. I don't wanna go to space. I'd like my children to be able to look in the sky without seeing Elon Musk's name written there by a bunch of drones. That's what I'd like. Is that okay?

Yes. Yeah, okay. Yes. You're very strongly opinionated about this. Yes. This is not about Elon Musk. This is about Starlake. And hey, I'm not an Elon Musk fan, but I think it does have some benefits. Okay. Well, I disagree. And I think that we could probably take that same amount of money and just give connectivity to places on Earth that don't have connectivity. That's it. And

the regular way that we do it here, you know, the way that it's been done for a long time and it doesn't, that seems okay. What about in the case of natural disasters though, like the huge hurricane that hit up in Asheville, no one had internet. You can position a satellite. And that's the way they were able to connect to people. You can position one satellite for connectivity or two satellites for connectivity. If I can get SiriusXM in my car anywhere I go and they have two satellites or three satellites,

I think you could, and I am not an expert on connectivity, but I think you could probably do the same thing with far less space junk. I don't understand. How many do you know how many satellites they have out there? There's like, I can tell you because there's a website, Starlink Tracker. Hold on one second. Uh, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- It covers every inch of the earth. Yeah. You're just saying more regulations around it. More regulations. And then maybe we could accomplish the same thing without so many tiny little satellites. And I don't know, but maybe we could.

And in the case of natural disaster, I totally understand. But do you know, you know this because Jeff does this. When Jeff has a concert and there's gonna be 20,000 of his closest friends are gonna show up over there in Memphis, right? And he knows that there's gonna be 20,000 of his closest friends are gonna show up over there in Memphis, right? Yeah. And he knows that that's gonna be a problem when everybody's trying to call out and share pictures with their friends and post on Instagram. Jeff says, I need those people to post on Instagram to get the word out about Mempho.

So you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna call Verizon or AT&T and I'm gonna let them know we're having this party and they're gonna show up with a big truck! Yes, that's true. And a big pole and on that pole is gonna be some receivers and it's gonna allow more people to use their phone inside of that venue. No muss, no fuss. Can Verizon or Elon or whoever show up with one of those anytime there's a natural disaster? Can we do that also?

Okay, let's look into it. Thank you I will not be signing up for T-Mobile's I'm not I'm not gonna sign up for sounds like you are Mad at you now. We're not friends anymore The Jurassic Park 17 is coming out with Scarlett Johansson and I couldn't be less excited if you asked. If you tried to make me less excited about something, I couldn't be less excited about Star...

Starlink. I'm out of your head. I'm still stuck on it. I'm sorry. If you use Starlink, God bless you. If you're listening to me on Starlink, God bless you. God bless you. Yeah.

Thank you for listening. Yeah. I just... Whatever. Anyway, I just have a problem with the space genre. listening to me on Starlink. God bless you. God bless you. Thank you for listening. I just have a problem with the space junk. But that's neither here nor there.

I think the technology is amazing, but SiriusXM does the same thing with three satellites or two satellites, whatever it is. Jurassic Park 17 is coming out. I thought that that was a very anticlimactic commercial because how many times can we visit the same island and get the same goddamn dinosaurs chase us around? Yeah. And why are we going back to the island? Stop! Just let them die over there. What are we doing?

Why are we going back? Since the first Dum Dum had that idea to make Disney World out of Jurassic Park, which by the way was an excellent movie and an excellent book. Jurassic Park 1. Yes, one was the best. One, we stop at one. We don't need any more Jurassic Parks. You have to squeeze the ever loving shit out of every fucking IP. I swear on all this holy,

no one is asking for Jurassic Park seven, no one. Do you know anybody in your personal life that is texting you, hey, when are they gonna make another Jurassic Park? No. No one. Do you know anybody in your personal life that is texting you, hey, when are they going to make another Jurassic Park? No. But that's what Hollywood does. They just keep redoing things and spitting things out again. And I feel bad for Scarlett Johansson because I have a feeling that people are done with Jurassic Park and the poor girl probably got paid a fucking armored truck full of cash,

probably showed up at her house to be in that movie and it's probably not going to do very well because it's the same movie that we've been seeing since Jurassic Park 1. They go to the island for some inexplicable reason and then for some explicable reason the dinosaurs want to kill them because they're dinosaurs! Fuckers. Then of course the Super Bowl started in the first 30, you know, in the first commercial, 32nd commercials, Sean Hannity had to make sure that you, you know, know that he's on Fox News. Fuck you.

There were a lot of Fox commercials, obviously, I guess because it was playing on Fox, but. Listen, if it was on NBC, they would be showing, they would be showing Lester Holt and they would be talking about Rachel Maddow or whatever. They would have some kind of commercial to drive people to their properties. That's what they do. Ain't got no problem with that. That's obviously part of the game, no pun intended. But that Sean Hannity commercial where he's like staring

at the mirror at the other news anchor and they're like, you know, oh, getting ready to beat America and freedom. Blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just weird. It's weird and it's over dramatic. Couldn't they have just shown like a clip from the Sean Hannity show and said, Sean Hannity, nine o'clock on Fox, you know,

like any other normal person. Why you gotta be all weird about it, Fox? Anyway, I move on. There was the Ritz commercial with, what's that guy's name? Shannon, Michael Shannon? Do you know Michael Shannon? Yes, yeah.

I didn't see the Ritz commercial though. It was a Ritz cracker commercial and Salt Bay was on it. So the whole premise was salty people. So there was Michael Shannon, who was obviously known to have a very sour face. And then the Aubrey Plaza, who also has a very sour face. And then the Aubrey Plaza, who also has a very sour face known as a kind of like, you know, resting bitch face both of them have.

And then they were talking, you know, they were being miserable essentially. Why are Ritz crackers so good? Why do they have to be so salty and buttery? Ah, when I smile, people think I'm breaking mirrors. Whatever he was saying, something kind of an unfunny punchline. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere,

Salt Bae shows up. And it's like, Salt Bae? Are we really paying Salt Bae to do a commercial? I would be happy to do a Ritz Cracker commercial because I like Ritz Crackers. Salt Bae is just a dude who throws salt on meat. Why is he a thing? And why is he in a Super Bowl commercial?

I forgot about that. Fuckers. Uh, Yeezy got teeth. Yeah, that was strange. Can we all? That was really strange. However, Jeff and I were talking about it later that night about it and he garnered like 19 million in sales. Last night?

Yes, from that commercial. No shit. Yes. He got $19 million in sales, he paid $8 million for the commercial. I guess it was worth it to him. I guess that's a plus plus. But it was a very strange commercial.

Well, he did this last year too, or a couple of years ago too. He spent all the money on the commercial, and so he just made a commercial with his iPhone, where he was sitting in a dental chair, getting his new teeth, and obviously maybe had had some laughing gas or something because he seemed like he was kind of twisted up,

and he was like, uh, uh, uh, Yeezy.com. It was a little weird. I understand the point. I get it. It's supposed to be a weird, out of place commercial, and then you're supposed to go to Yeezy.com and buy some Yeezy clothes. I'm wearing my Yeezy. I'm wearing my Yeezy sweater, by the way.

Listen, Elon Musk on Super Bowl Sunday limited Yeezy's account. He put a not safe for work stamp on it, which means that it then won't show up in everybody's algorithm. Because even Elon Musk, think about this, when Elon Musk thinks you're going crazy, you have done something.

Yes. He is just right. Very true. It's a screed and that screed is anti-Semitic, racist, homophobic, transphobic. It just goes on and on and on and on and on. And I understand he's trolling us, but I don't know that the joke is funny anymore. So like his music or don't like his music.

Well, did you see that Bianca put out something in response to Yeezy? Oh, she did what? Yeah, she was like, Lord, bless my husband and bless the Jewish people. It was a thing. Oh, she retorted? Yeah. She apologized for her husband. Basically, yes. I wonder how Yeezy feels about that. That must be a weird relationship to be in.

It has to be. Just to be fun. Fly on the wall, Chrissy and Jeff on naked cooking days, Yeezy and Bianca on any cheesecake factory, dinner night, dinner date. That's it, that's what I wanna see. Mountain Dew with Seal. Oh right, the Seal is a seal.

Listen, weird, very strange. Seal was a seal and he was singing about Mountain Dew and I was like, I could be a kiss from a mountain dew, my flippers won't hold a mountain dew. Like a weird. I know everybody's split on it, but I thought it was funny.

I thought it was funny. I thought it was funny. Good job, Mountain Dew. I thought it was funny. It was pretty funny to have Seal as a seal. In a sea of not funny commercials, you at least got a giggle out of me. Because it was weird to see Seal as a seal.

It was. It was just funny. It was so fucked up. That in the, what was it, is it Amazon commercial or Netflix commercial with the kid who grew a hat on his head? Oh yeah. That made me sick to my stomach.

I felt kind of queasy. What about the tongue one? Oh, the whip cream. Yeah, that was weird. Yes, I thought to myself, we just talked about how Whippet has a whole secondary industry killing your children with laughing gas.

And they had a commercial where the tongue came out of the mouth. I know. Those two commercials, I don't know. So I don't like when, like those CGI drawings of, it's just weird to me. There's a lot of this AI running around where they make the skin and the head

and the bones do different things. It makes me feel a little queasy. I couldn't even watch that commercial. And then they had like four parts to it. So that kid with the head hat kept on showing up. It was a little strange. WeatherTech had one of the best commercials of the night. They did.

WeatherTech, the floor mat company. Yeah, that was one of the ones that I was like, they've got the money to do that. Okay. Yeah, they've got, hey listen, I didn't know that floor mats were showing demand. But you know, every third person in this country owns a pickup truck. Yeah. And by the way, statistic. They're needed. True.

Someone wrote this one time and I think it was 70% of pickup truck owners report never using the bed of their truck. It's like, why do you have a pickup truck if you don't have a bed? Anyway, so I think that's what's going on. There's a lot of pickup trucks getting WeatherTech. I don't know. That was a great commercial. It was a great commercial.

For women that got arrested. In a convertible, yeah. So they're driving down the highway, going real slow, and then they show it, and then they're doing like, you know, beach volleyball or something, then they're playing bingo, and one of the ladies wins. Flashes. And she flashes the bingo.

She's in her like 80s or something. It was cute and it was well done. Good job, WeatherTech. I'm not gonna buy your stuff, but just cause I don't need it. Like I don't own a pickup truck. So let's see. Instacart did I think like the best nod to our generation,

the Gen X people who grew up with a certain type of mascot in almost every one of the food commercials, like the Kool-Aid, what is his name? Yeah. What's the Kool-Aid name, Sky? It's the Kool-Aid man. Kool-Aid man, all right, okay. Yeah, Mr. Clean was in there.

Mr. Clean, the green giant, the green giant, Tony the Tiger, I think, was in there. So all of those, when we were kids and we saw commercials on Saturday morning TV trying to get us to tell our parents to go buy them something, they would put a mascot, like a practical effect mascot or a cartoon mascot, like Tony the Tiger or Green Bean Giant or whatever his name is. And those would be the commercials we would watch

over and over again for years in the 80s and 90s. And so what they did is they put them all together in one commercial for Instacart. And I thought that was really well done. I liked it, even though it was only like 30 seconds long, in the 80s and 90s. And so what they did is they put them all together in one commercial for Instacart. And I thought that was really well done. I liked it. Even though it was only like 30 seconds long, I thought, oh, that was cool.

Snoop Dogg and Tom Brady kept on telling us to, you know, stand down, be peaceful. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, thanks Snoop. Thanks Snoop. That's all I got to say about that. Disappointed at my boy Snoop. We already talked about this,

but Matthew McConaughey was in every third commercial. And I guess this is his big money-making opportunity. Yeah, I don't know if he's- He was in one that was good. What was the one? The Uber Eats commercial. Where he was putting together a conspiracy. Where he was saying that the Super Bowl

and football in general was just a conspiracy to get us to eat more food. Because the Super Bowl and football in general was just a conspiracy to get us to eat more food. Because the Super Bowl, and then he was talking about all the food related terms that are used in football, and how the NFL since the beginning has been doing nothing but getting us to buy more food. And that was an Uber Eats commercial.

And who else was in it? The lady who directed Barbie. Oh, right. Oh, right. Yeah, exactly. I can't remember her name right now. Greta, Greta, oh my God, Greta Gerwig. Greta Gerwig was in that commercial too. I thought that was an interesting commercial. It was cute. It was fine. Google AI was the creepiest commercial of the night and the most hypocritical commercial of the night.

And I'll explain why, Chrissy, if you don't mind, first here for a second. Go for it. It was a commercial where a guy is talking into his phone and obviously practicing for an interview for a job. Guy probably my age, in his 40s, right? Practicing to do an interview. And so he's asking AI, you know,

and AI is asking him questions, and he's asking questions back and forth, and they're prepping for this interview, and all of the answers that he's giving, so that AI asks, what is the hardest job you've ever had? And as he's answering those questions very business-like, what he's actually talking about is being a father, so they are intertwining images of him as his children are growing up doing various things, right? So meant to tug at your heartstrings, but this thing that you're talking to is actually going to take your fucking job away.

It is the most inhuman thing that you could think of. It is a little bit dangerous, a bit scary, and I understand it's cool and fun right now to play with, and yeah, maybe it can prep you for your next interview, but then what happens when it takes your job, asshole? Google AI is the least emotional thing that I could think of. It's literally a computer that's spitting out things back at you. It's like mirroring humanity in a weird human voice. And then they try and like tie it into the emotionality of raising children. We won't be able to raise our children if AI takes all of this shit away from us. Fuckers.

God, let's not go down that road again. I had an anxiety attack the other day after we did the whole thing with the robot and the AI combined. Wham! Take eight million dollars and a Google Pixel phone and wabam! Sorry about your job. Wabam! Your children can't eat because you don't have any work.

Wabam! Yep. I did have a panic attack after that episode also. So much so that I'm not running that episode. I don't think I want to give everybody else a panic attack. I think I'm putting that in the can. I really do. I'd listen to it again.

And first of all, it's just you and I, by the way, we did an episode, we reviewed the most advanced robot that is currently out there. And it was about as creepy as you would expect. It's got advanced AI as well as facial movements and all this other stuff. And we reviewed it and it was really just

Chrissy and I going, shit, shit, shit. Yeah. It's just us having an anxiety attack live on air. Okay, one more and then we'll take a break. I thought that Rocket Mortgage did one of the better commercials of the night as they took John Denver's Take Me Home Country Roads. They had that song tied to people doing everyday things, crying, laughing, getting hurt, helping each other,

raising children. So at first I thought, oh, this is a West Virginia commercial. Yeah, me too. It's Come Home to West Virginia. But what it was was, Come Home to Rocket Mortgage will buy you a house. So they play this song,

you're singing it along in your head. You're like, take me home country roads. It's like a cover of the John Denver song being sung by a choir. And so the commercial is very nice, the tugs at your heartstrings, the whole nine yards, cut the commercial and then it's playing the John Denver version of the song in the Superdome and they are showing people in the crowd singing along to it, like, hold, you know, they're like, have their arms around each other. So the entire, you know, the Superdome is essentially singing along to it, like have their arms around each other. So the Superdome is essentially singing the same song, just like you were when the commercial was.

And it was like a touching moment, I thought. Like, oh, well done, Rocket Mortgage. Well done. Good coordination, well done, well thought out. And it worked to the effect that everybody was singing the song and having a moment together. All right, we'll take a break.

We come back. We'll talk more. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com

for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at youtube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now was it? You're welcome.

That really wasn't that difficult, now was it? You're welcome. Okay, back here reviewing some of the Super Bowl commercials on a Super Bowl Wednesday. Wednesday after the Super Bowl. Hey, you heard it here last. Hey, you heard it here last. Why not? So we talked about the Rocket Mortgage. Okay, now let's talk about the most hypocritical commercial of the night besides the Google AI bullshit Yes, the personal Jesus Jesus commercial. Holy shit. Did they get this so Fucking wrong. I know in every way shape or form Johnny Cash covered personal Jesus on his last album where he did all cover tunes

That was produced by Rick Rubin to great effect. Yeah, it was a great album. It was an incredible album. The song Hurt by Nine Inch Nails being sung by Johnny Cash is one of my opinion in the top 25 songs of all time. It is an incredibly emotional and moving version of that song sung by an incredibly moved and emotional Johnny Cash, prodded by Rick Rubin to almost cry during the song, and you can hear it in his voice. It's amazing. But he also did a cover of Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode. Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode is a song talking about television evangelists and the people who give money to them. And

it is a song essentially making fun of those people, right? It's like a, it's a satire is what it is. So, in their infinite wisdom, whoever they are, the people who every year now put together a minute-long commercial about Jesus and going to this website to learn more about Jesus Christ, think what you will about Jesus Christ. But even Jesus Christ would have known that personal Jesus is not about Him. I know. It's about the idiots who are taking your money in the name of faith and religion. And the crazy part is that no one in the organization,

Yeah, no one on the team. No one in the marketing agency that they probably paid $2 million to to make that commercial, no one was wise enough to research what the meaning of the fucking song, Personal Jesus, was. Because Depeche Mode, I can guarantee you, did not mean to put it in a Jesus commercial. And where is Depeche Mode on all of this? That's a good question. Who said yes to this? They're laughing while they collect that check. While we're gonna say, they're probably like, yeah, go ahead and use it.

Well, let's be real about it too. They probably don't own the rights to the song, right? It's probably owned by, you know, whatever, BMG or Universal Music Group or some hedge fund somewhere. Scooter Von Braun or whatever his name is. Scooter. Scooter probably owns it and sold it. But yeah, Depeche Mode got a big check for using their song in that commercial. But it was just like, at first I thought, oh, this is cool. It's showing people who are in some kind of distress

being helped by somebody who is not in distress. So a police officer, a firefighter, a neighbor, someone random on the street, they're like pulling them out of a car after a car accident, you know, talking to them while their house is burning down or whatever. It's just showing people in distress. These very beautiful black and white photographs mostly. And it's just a series of them as this cover of Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus is playing in the background. And at first I thought, okay, this is a really effective commercial.

But as I got about 15 seconds in, I started to think, there's no way this is about Jesus.com, is it? There's no way this is the Jesus.com commercial. And it was. Fail in every sense of the word. Besides the beautiful photography, fail in every sense of the word. Besides the beautiful photography, fail in every sense of the word. Fail in the use of a cover song, fail in the meaning of the song, fail in the intent of the commercial, and fail to anyone who ever heard that Depeche Mode song and understood what it meant. We were all going, what? Really? Honestly? I don't think they know what the song really means. They had no idea. Do you think that there's somebody getting fired this morning?

Maybe. Like somebody is sick. There must be a ton of people. I didn't see it, but there must be a ton of people online who are like, what the fuck is that all about? Tom Brady played a robot in a Duracell commercial, and I think that could not be more true. Best use of actual robots in a commercial, Tom Brady, Tom Brady. He is so stiff. He is not, people have been ridiculing Tom this entire year over his announcing abilities.

And I also know that it, listen, I've done 700 episodes of this show, and a lot, probably 800 hours of the show, and I'm not the best announcer on the microphone. I think I know what I'm doing in the studio, but I also know that it takes a long time to sharpen those edges. And I'm still umming and awing all the way through the show.

So I get it, but Tom Brady yesterday, he must have said five times, four minutes and 13 seconds left in the game when it was like the second quarter. When asked, what did the Chiefs do now? Tom was like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. He was making like inside jokes at Kevin Hart,

which is another celebrity that was there by the way. He was just, he was kind of all over the place and I didn't really care for his announcing style. I didn't really understand a lot of what he was saying. I don't think he was lending, besides the fact that he has been in many Super Bowls and has the ability to put himself in Patrick Mahomes shoes, you know, you're down by a lot, what do you do? But he used none of that wisdom during the actual Super Bowl that he was getting paid to talk about that exact stuff. He just didn't do it. Tom Brady is a robot. He's a robot. He needed batteries. That's all I got to say. So I thought that was a well-done commercial. Yeah.

Because I could easily see Tom Brady is a robot. No knock on Tom. He seems like a nice enough guy. Tom Brady does, you know, seems like he's not my cup of tea. He seems a little skinny. Like I think Tom could have a burger or something. Doesn't he seem a little skinny? Did he look a little gaunt to you? I'm just saying that. Okay, and so chat gbt. We already talked about that.

The whipped cream tongues didn't have any, didn't have any care for tongues flying out of people's mouths. Everybody at my house was like, ooh. Yes. NFL did a commercial as they always do, trying to let us know just how much good they do in the world. And they had a commercial, which I referred to

as the I am somebody commercial. So it was a bunch of coaches sitting around talking to various kids of different ages. And they were cutting back and forth to these coaches, giving these pep talks. And some of these kids were able-bodied and some of them were disabled. And it brought me to tears actually. I was like, wow.

And they kept on screaming, I am somebody, I am somebody, I am somebody. And you know, it was a tearjerker. And then it was like NFL, doing your community proud. Yeah, right. Okay, got it. Billion dollar industry that can't even take care of its own players. I got it. You're doing great in our, you're doing great work in our society. Thanks, appreciate it.

The Much Ballyhooed Hellman's commercial with Melanie Griffin and Billy Crystal. Mm, doing the mayonnaise. Going back to the Harry Met Sally orgasm scene. Yes. Yeah. Are we to believe that Hellman's mayonnaise, which is not even the best mayonnaise, is really causing- It's my favorite mayonnaise.

Is it your favorite mayonnaise? Yes, it is. You don't like Dukes? Mm-mm. Oh, Chrissy, what is your problem? I know, it's a divide. It's a divide. It's a divide between real mayonnaise and other shit.

I grew up with Hellman's. I did too, and then I tried Dukes and I never went back. I mean, not that I never went back, it's not, I will eat Hellmanns mayonnaise if it's there, right? If it's the only mayonnaise available. How often do you eat mayonnaise? What's that? How often do you eat mayonnaise?

Depends on if my OCD has me in a mayonnaise cycle, right? That's true. That's true. It's true. Sometimes I eat a lot of mayonnaise. Sometimes I don't eat any mayonnaise. I'm not currently in a mayonnaise phase, but I could be back at it any moment. Yeah. I've cycled it out. I want notice when you go back into the mayonnaise phase.

Well, you'll know. Just check my refrigerator. You'll know. There'll be two of them sitting there. I got backups everywhere. Okay. So besides disagreeing on mayonnaise, I will backups everywhere. You know, okay, so besides disagreeing on mayonnaise, I will say this. I just didn't find that commercial to be funny, engaging, or at all, and I understand, you're not gonna believe that someone's having an orgasm over mayonnaise. Billy Crystal tried his best to deliver the lines,

but it was just such a trope. It felt like, oh, Hellmann's, you could have done better than this. And Billy, well, I guess if someone paid me $100,000 to show up for 30 seconds on set, I also would do that. But I just thought it was kind of a weird commercial. Yeah, it was. That didn't make any sense. Pringles had a great commercial with the mustaches flying around. I thought that was well done. Good job, Pringles. A couple points for originality.

The mustaches came off the guys and came off the Pringles, you know, the Pringle guy with the mustache, came off and was flying around, and then they flew right into a, like, a skyscraper window, like a bird would, and then fell down. That was really funny, actually. Uh, the Bud Light commercial with... No, the old Clydesdales. You gotta have them.

No, I'm talking about the other one. That was Budweiser. The Clydesdales... They have to make an appearance at every Super Bowl. I love the Clydesdales. You gotta have them. No, I'm talking about the other one. That was Budweiser. Yeah. The Clydesdales. They have to make an appearance to every Super Bowl. I love the Clydesdales. Me too. It's an American tradition. I thought this was one of the weaker commercials.

Yeah. They have had so many good commercials with the Clydesdales. They've spoiled. Like the Clydesdale with the puppy, the Clydesdale, you know, going and delivering beer and the big truck, you know, like these emotional moments that you have and this connection with the Clydesdales,

which by the way, I've seen those Clydesdales when I went to Denver to the Budweiser plant. I saw those Clydesdales. They are as big as this house. They are incredibly big and beautiful. And you don't want anything to do with them. Because they- Yeah, they seem majestic.

Yeah, they are very majestic. So I just look forward to that commercial because I always know you get a little tear jerk out of that one. But this one, not so much. It was like rolling a keg to some guy in a bar. And I didn't get it. I didn't understand it.

But I was talking about the Bud Light commercial where they had- Peyton? No. He was doing stuff with Bud Light. Shane Gillis, Peyton Manning, Shane Gillis, who else was in it? Oh, Post Malone. Oh, right.

So all of them were in the backyard and Shane Gillis was trying to keep Peyton Manning from, you know, the neighbors calling the cops or whatever. They were having a big party, essentially. A big cookout is what was going on. So I guess we've all made up with Bud Light now. Yes. I guess that's the point. That's the point of it. We've all made up with Bud Light. It's. I guess that's the point. That's the point of it.

We've all made up with Bud Light. It's okay to drink Bud Light again. So fine. It was a fine commercial. It was, you know, interesting. Yeah, it was fine. Cute. Spruce, who let the dogs out, the Bill Murray email commercial I already talked about, you

know, Bill Murray gave his email address and I don't know what was going on there. You can do it. Do it yourself. BillHimselfatYahoo.com. Email it. They are going to Billhimself at yahoo.com, email it, they are going to spam you, just letting you know. Yeah, I was gonna say,

can you just forward me what you got? Yeah, I'll show you a picture of it. It's a long convoluted email with bad spelling and weird hyphenation. Very strange, did you watch the video? I did, I watched the videos too. I did not. You didn't?

No, because I was already 20 minutes in, I'm like, what is, like, what's actually happening here? Yeah, it takes a long time to read the email. The story is convoluted. Because it doesn't even make sense. It makes no sense. Bill Murray woke up one morning and he was a dog in the mirror.

Huge fan, didn't get it. Yeah, I didn't get it either. Huge fan to the point where Chrissy and I actually went and saw him singing terribly at a concert with his blood brothers. Of course, the Metta had to make an appearance. And of course, Metta hired the Kardashians to do, or a Kardashian, the mom,

well, she's not even a Kardashian, she's a Jenner, but hired her to talk about how wonderful the Ray-Ban Metta sunglasses were gonna be forever. Fuck you! Fuck Mark Zuckerberg, fuck you, Kardashian, fuck it. Fuck it all. Don't, please, don't give Kuckerberg any more ammunition. Don't, just don't. He has ruined so much of society.

And now we're all going to play along as people get to wear glasses that are recording every bit of humanity unbeknownst. What do you do with the glasses? I don't know, then it shows you that, you know, it searches things for you and it shows you the world around you. Could we separate ourselves anymore from the human experience? I'm being serious. I could see how this is cool.

I understand it's cool. But Ray-Ban and Meta getting together to do the Meta glass, fine, whatever. But don't take that money. Don't! That's the one. fine, whatever, but don't take that money. Don't! There are a couple of these, like, Jesus.com or whatever it was, wouldn't take their money. Meta wouldn't take their money. AI probably not going to take their money, and they do have a lot of money though, so maybe it might be a little, ugh, okay, and AI I'd take their money, but Meta I'm not taking

their money. Fuck Meta! And then to see a Kardashian in there, it's like, wow, there you go. Two peas in a pod right there. Two people that have ruined society. Mark and Kris Jenner. Kevin Costner, who cares? Megan, too. Why is this movie such a big deal? It's all over the place. Why is this movie such a big deal?

I don't know. Why do we care? Did we see Megan one? It's about a dancing robot that kills people, I think. Is that what it is? Now my kids are excited to see it. They saw the commercial and they're like, oh, daddy, I want to see Megan Two. I'm like, Megan Two, what are you talking about? It's like a murdering robot, isn't it? Isn't that what it's about? Have you seen Megan One? I didn't watch it. It's a horror movie. It's Amica Gone Wrong.

Oh, it is? Yes. Don't watch it. Yeah. I'm not going to watch it. I'm already having a horror movie. It's Amica Gone Wrong. Oh, it is? Yes, don't watch it. Yeah, I'm not gonna watch it. I'm already having a panic attack. Lays did, I thought, a nice commercial where they had a girl who was growing a potato plant and then she took her potato and sent it to the Lays factory, which, you know, that happens.

Lays just had a big recall though. I know. A bunch of their stuff. Yeah, their chips are killing people. That may have been why they did the commercial. Yeah, because they gotta get back on the wagon and get in your belly. Homes.com must be spending a ton of money on celebrities

because they had Morgan Freeman in their commercial. I can only imagine that he must be one of the more expensive voices to get in your commercial because everyone wants Morgan Freeman's voice, right? So he was in a Homes.com commercial. And I just noticed that homes.com has a lot of commercials right now. They are really hitting the marketing very, very hard.

Well, they're competing with Zillow. Yeah, Zillow and relator.com. So I think they are really just trying to, kind of, I don't know, smother the market. Get into your brain. Yeah, get into your brain. Although I don't know if I've ever been to homes.com. Have you been? I have.

Okay, is it like Zillow? Is that what it is? Okay, all right. Hims and Hers. Oh yeah. Let's talk about this for a second and how just terribly positioned this commercial was for a lot of different reasons.

First of all, Hims and Hers shows, talks about the conspiracy on behalf of the medical industry to keep people sick and overweight. It talks about how many Americans are overweight. It shows pictures of regular average Americans, most of which are overweight in the commercial. And it talks about how the medical industry wants to keep us sick so that they can sell us medicine and keep us coming back to then be a commercial about a medical company that sells medications to keep us coming back.

It was unbelievably tone deaf, unbelievably tone deaf. And it shows, it was also talking about the unrealistic expectations set upon us on the media for our body types and body expectations and you know body image and all this other stuff. Now you're lose weight with us. Now lose weight with our medications, not the other guys medications lose with our medications. It's the same fucking thing. You're a same cog in the wheel. I don't understand why you're trying to convince us otherwise.

Incredibly tone deaf. I have nothing against him or hers. I don't know who they are. I don't know what they do. I guess they sell GLP ones. Yeah, as well as like erectile dysfunction stuff and hair replacement. Oh, call me. I'll do a sponsorship for you. Anyway, you know, okay, great. And then they're trying to tell us that there's unrealistic expectations about body image. I agree. No

doubt about it. The camera's for me. Excuse me while I take one second to talk inside of the studio. Thank you very much. I have no doubt about it that this is all true. That in fact, the medical system has kind of turned itself backwards. I don't think it's a conspiracy, but I think that it's just the way that it is to sell you the medications and, you know, not fix the problem because that's where the money is. Like Chris Rock said, it's on the comeback. It's not on one sale. It's on keeping you coming back. And I understand that. I'm not dumb enough. But does hims and hers understand that they are part of that process, that system? Yeah, they're a subscription service.

So they have doctors that are prescribing you medication to keep you coming back. So you stay skinny. It's insane how tone deaf this commercial was, but the very next commercial, the very next commercial is for poppy sodas, poppy sodas, low sugar, supposed to taste like your favorite soda, but it's got low sugar and all the, you know, low carb or whatever it is. And it shows nothing but beautifully, beautiful women, skinny as can be in slinky outfits telling you that you should drink poppy soda to keep those unrealistic expected, keep those bodies unrealistically skinny.

It was crazy that Fox did not separate these two commercials, that no one in at Fox, after having gotten 16 collective million dollars from these two companies, didn't think for one second to check how the continuity would go. You would think that would be one of the things that someone has to check, right? Yeah, I guess. I just, I watched it and I was like, holy shit. I mean, look at the people that Fox has on. Yeah, it's true. I just, I watched it and I was like, holy shit. I'm looking at the people that Fox has on. Yeah, it's true. I mean, listen, no one accused any of those big networks of being smart, but at the same time,

if I'm Poppy or if I'm hims and hers, I'm upset the next morning that these two commercials ran back to back because one is talking about how, you know, media and the health industry is just trying to keep you sick and make you have to live up to unrealistic expectations while the next commercial wants you to live up to those unrealistic expectations.

It was great. That was the dumbest thing that Fox did all night. I have tried poppy sodas. And did you have you tried them? No, that's why I was wondering. Yeah, I've tried them. Listen, everybody claims they taste, it's like soda, the soda maker and all these. They all claim that they taste like your favorite soda.

Oh, really? Yeah. But I don't know if they taste like your favorite soda. That's all I'm saying. I guess that's left up to interpretation. And I don't have anything against Poppy. We actually have some in the refrigerator right now. It's fine. Whatever. Cool. Yeah. It's carbonated soda that essentially tastes a little bit like maybe your favorite soda, but not all the way bit. Like a little bit, not all the bit. You know what I'm saying? Okay.

If you really are dying for a Coca-Cola, there is nothing else that's going to replace that taste except for Coca-Cola. None of those spritzy spray stream things that you have at home, none of those sodas that are low carb, low sugar, Coke Zero is not gonna do it for you. Coca-Cola is what you want.

It's a taste that humans are born. I think humans are born wanting Coca-Cola. They know the taste. Yes, a Pepsi's not gonna cure that. Nothing's gonna cure that. RC Cola, not even gonna come close. If you want a Coca-Cola, drink a Coca-Cola and I'm not a cuck for Coca-Cola, I'm just saying that's the way it is. Same with Sprite. There's a lot of

Sprite imitators out there, Chrissy, but none of them taste like Sprite. That's all I have to say. What did you think about the commercial? I thought they were so-so. You thought they were so-so? Yeah. Yeah? Well, listen. There was no standout for me that was like, this is the best commercial of the whole thing.

Yeah, clearly there was no standout. Some of them had good parts, but yeah. Yeah. I don't think there was any standout commercial where it was like, that was the best commercial. Right. But I did think the breast cancer commercial was excellent to raise awareness.

It showed bouncing boobs. It showed famous scenes from movies that have boobs. It did everything but show an actual naked boob. It was all boobs. We already saw that at the Grammy. What's that? We already saw that at the Grammy. Yeah, we got that. Ye took care of it. No problem. Thanks Yeezy. We appreciate it. No, that was a great commercial and to bring awareness and top of mind. Check your tatas. Men and women. The only thing it didn't do was show a man and his boobs.

And I wish they would have because men also can die from breast cancer. True. I don't think a lot of guys know that. But check your tatas, everybody. Check your tatas, go get your tatas checked out. That's the most important message of the night, I think, quite frankly. Yes. I agree.

That and that Taylor Swift may be on the backside of her very wonderful two year run 2324. Okay, I'd like to thank Ari Shafir who came in yesterday. Tuesday's TCB infomercial was Ari. Please do yourself a favor. Go watch his new Netflix special, America's Sweetheart, available right now. It's out. You can go watch it, arishafir.com for tour tickets

and all the good stuff about Ari. You can go check that out. I'll put a link in the show note all week long in the show notes. Ari. Also, we'd like you to get in touch with us. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. We're taking them all right there.

Text message or leave us a voicemail if you wanna be on the next episode of The Commercial Break. Who knows, maybe we'll use your voice. Just be mindful about what you say. At The Commercial Break on Instagram, TCB Podcasts on TikTok, and youtube.com slash the commercial break. For all of the episodes on video,

the same day they air here on the audio, please subscribe, like, and comment on your favorite video. Okay, Chrissy. That's all I can do for now I think so, but I'll tell you that I love you. You best to you. Fuck your Starlink idea until next time Bye! What the fuck is going on in here?