The Commercial Break - Stop Kissing Your Cousin!

Episode Date: November 19, 2021

Bryan tells Krissy about his spending his day at his child's school for the big Thanksgiving Day play. Then Bryan and his family take to the streets of Atlanta take in the local sights, sounds and awful food. He explains his compulsive need to beat everyone to the front of the line. Then Bryan shares about his teenage aspirations to be a "Grill Leader" at McDonalds. Finally, the gang revisits a question from an earlier episode : Is it OK to make out with your cousin? How about marrying that cousin? And having a baby with a cousin? Two cousins in Utah are fighting for that right. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good Sunday morning and welcome back to WSHIT. I am Father Moldoon. Each Sunday I like to bring you a little bit of what we're teaching the children in our Bible study here at St. Crabapple Parish. I think it's so important that we have transparency, especially with our young Nintendo children. Now, I've invited Sister Mary Holy Roller to talk to our children about God's love, a pure love between friends. Listen in now, as the sister is with the children... Because when they hold each other really close and give a long kiss and a warm hug.

They tell each other that they're beautiful and everything like that. And they also have a bit of a laugh because they are the best of friends. And then something happens. In a very short time, because they're so close, the man feels his penis becoming erect that's straight, hard.

And the sperm coming down into it, like it did when he had a wet dream. Now, sister, I'm not entirely sure this is appropriate for our seven to ten year olds. Oh, Lord, is anybody on the microphone? Can you hear me, sister, Holy Roller? Is there anybody back at the studio? Kind of slippery inside. Oh my lord, dear God, let's hit the mute box or the button or whatever it is you do. Hello? Hello? Then she has the sperm.

In the name of Father O'Dool's, cut her off. WSHIT regrets the following content aired on its Sunday morning programming. Please enjoy this commercial break. Then the penis slips out, and that's all. On this episode of the commercial break, a huge drive-in restaurant called the varsity. Near Georgia Tech. Right down there next door to Georgia Tech, it's huge. And what it's famous for is the way in which they do the orders So

And so the manager said hey Brian what you take a break? I was on the I was on the grills the chicken and fish And then the manager said Larry you should take a break too Yeah, and we all smoked and so we went downstairs and I lit up my camel wide and I was like what's up Larry? You know kill it on grill the day and he's like well About that You are killing it. You're literally killing this food. You may be killing people in addition to that. Yeah, for tending like this is a like this is a real marriage. I mean, it's a real marriage

It just happens to be your cousin. It just really strange. Father of her The father for children for her previous marriage lived there. And so just up and up, you know, up root and like the Beverly Hillbillies or something. It is not as easy as it sounds. So she had kids before and then got divorced and then was like, I mean, there's really just no good myth. Yeah. Danny? I got divorced Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was like, well, Danny's got divorced. Yeah Danny I got divorced thanksgiving and I Christmas I was like well Danny's got a dick

The next episode of the commercial break starts now oh ah the commercial break hey how the hell are you i'm Brian this is christian happy holidays best of you christian best of you out there in the podcast audience how the hell are you welcome to yet another addition of the commercial break that's right so glad that you're here that's time of year when we all get together and we sit around the big fat fucking turkey, we put on 10 pounds and we pretend to not to hate our siblings. Our family.

And I just love this, I love this holiday, man. I love Thanksgiving. There's just something about Thanksgiving. I think we were talking about this the last episode. There's just something about Thanksgiving that's not in denominational, it's not threatening. I I don't know what other holidays threatening, but it's Halloween. It's not everybody celebrating them together holiday. Yeah, not everybody celebrating their holiday.

And then, you know, you know, do you say Merry Christmas or do you say happy holidays? We say happy holidays, but that's just because we, I don't think we purposely did that. We just said, I'll just kind of went into the lexicon. Yeah, that's right. And so we're all going to get around and we're going to do the old turkey thing. Today, I had the rare opportunity of, let's say the rare opportunity,

I guess, going to have lots more moving forward. But my son had like a little turkey day thing at the school. Yeah. And like, a gobble gobble. Yeah, gobble gobble. He came out in the like the little turkey head dress, like it looks like a turkey with a little tail and the little feathers on top.

That's cute. And all of them did. And they were just my son. If you get him here in the house, the only thing that he wants to do is listen to music over and over again. Certain songs over and over again. He wants to dance, right?

What do you want to do? Daddy dance, you know, daddy music a solo, which means in Spanish means, you know, only music, which is what happens when we give him the iPad, we're like, music a solo, right? Only music. And he just dances and then his sister starts dancing, which is really just more like a bounce.

She just puts her butt out and just bounces like this, right? Or she spins around the circles. She thinks that's dancing too. So he is like the most grigorous, outgoing, little dancer you've ever seen in your entire life. He's the house. But then he gets a little crowd shy

and noticed in these little events. He'll stage fright. He'll stage fright. He gets up there and he's just staring and be like, it was like a wide eyed glaze. What do I do again? What do I do again? There's all these people here.

I've been to these things with, you know, God's sons and daughters before and, you know, I always make fun of, I was always making fun of the parents who are like clapping along like, Dude, this is John and dude, this you little shithead! Don't you at all! Clap! And then here I am, I'm like, Yeah then move your hands round and round

Why aren't you doing it? Don't baby look bad this video's not gonna go over well on what's up? Stop with the shot. I shouldn't get going please So I was video there. I am videotaping my son knowing that I'm going to tell this story on air Mm-hmm, and it reminded me of a video that I watched Maybe three days ago and I can't remember who the comedian was I want to say it's that guy who does the comedy central thing with the The videos. Oh where he goes announced Trump voters about no, no, no, not Jordan Clepper The guy where he takes like online videos and he just makes fun of them.

You know, talking about that was that was talk soup wasn't no, no, no, no, no, not your own. No, not your own. Okay, oh god, damn, I wish somebody could call me up right now if you even knew we were recording right now. Give me the answer. The guy, uh, Tosh, Tosh, point out. That's a Tosh point.

There it is. The guy looked exactly like Tosh, but Tosh, like Daniel Tosh. But I don't think it actually was because I don't think he, Tosh has children. Right. Here's the video. And it's a TikTok video.

The video is this comedian's son breaking down a joke that his dad is telling about him years ago, about how his dad, listen to this, his dad got an iPad, a brand new iPad. He wanted to attach it to the cloud, the family cloud. But he couldn't figure out how to do that. And so the teenage son says, God, dad, you're such a fucking idiot.

Like, you know, you can't even attach shit to the cloud. I'll do it for you. Takes the iPad, goes, attaches it to the cloud and what comes back is all the family pictures that are uploading into the cloud. So he starts flipping through them, and then he sees a couple of dick picks, and he's like, well, that's not my dick,

but I bought that piece of furniture. It's his son's. Oh my God. Dick. So being the comedian that he is, you know, he just laughed about it. He just kind of lets this linger for a few minutes, right? And he's like, well, son, you know, I'm so glad you had an opportunity to get this on the

cloud. I didn't really understand what the cloud was, but, you know, now I understand the cloud is essentially when you put all your shit and a thing that gets shared. He's like, yeah, dad, mom, mom takes a photo, goes into the cloud. You take a photo, goes into the cloud, and then his dad goes and then you take a photo, go into the cloud. And the sun realizes right away what's happened. And he's like, so how's your day, dad? Yeah, like, he's, he's, forget about the cloud. Right. It's really funny, the way that the comedian tells it. Uh-huh. But the sun's reaction. He is so fucking pissed.

He's mad at his dad, and he's like, fucking hate when my dad tells jokes like this on stage and he always puts his hands like this when he's talking about like, he's making fun. I don't even know where that voice came from. Bob, Bob, he is so angry with his father. You can tell he's trying to be a comedian, but what's really going, like trying to be funny about it

was really going on his seething fucking anger. Right. And all I'm thinking about, this is how, this is literally how my brain works. I am watching my son do a turkey day dance, asking him to clap like he did at the house so it would be nice. So I can get it on videotape and send it to the WhatsApp group. So later on in the afternoon, I can record about it and then in the future my son's gonna have fucking therapy because I was running around talking about how my son twirls and circles with turkey feathers on his head. It's unbelievable.

circle with turkey feathers on his head. It's unbelievable. Yes, you're going many steps ahead. Some of my brain works, many steps ahead of the game. I can't figure out what's going on right now. But in the future, I'm clearly aware of what's going on. It was the cutest thing that I've ever seen. I know. And then the teachers took some old grocery bags, like some cardboard paper.

And they made rather a rather realistic, I guess, out of cardboard paper, looking turkey with the whole little, the legs and the white caps on the legs and the whole leg. Picture perfect turkey. It was probably like three feet by three feet. It was a big turkey. And so the principal comes out and she tells us

they've been working very hard on this. Here's what's gonna happen. They're gonna come out, they're gonna sing. They're gonna dance for three songs. And so the principal comes out and she tells us they've been working very hard on this. Here's what's going to happen. They're going to come out. They're going to sing. They're going to dance for three songs. And then afterwards, we're going to cut the turkey and everybody's going to get a slice. And I'm thinking to myself, wow, is there a real turkey in there? Is there actual meat in there? Because I don't know why they're wrapped. They could have just left the turkey out, right? Maybe they didn't want the flies to get in it. Maybe this is some kind of present. Maybe the school board requires to keep it sanitary. I'm not really sure what's going on

But I'm more the health department. I'm more confused than anybody in the audience, right? I'm like are we gonna actually get turkey because it's kind of early in the morning I'm not hungry for turkey, but if they with a chitter So at the end they actually have like a little knife and they start slicing the actual cardboard turkey. And I'm like, oh, I get it. They're gonna cut little pieces of paper and then give it to the kids on a plate to kind of practice for Thanksgiving.

Oh, cute. My dumbass doesn't realize what my wife realized the second that she saw it is. When they cut into it, there's actual like gifts inside of the turkey and each kid gets a gift. That's sweet. And I was like, you know, she's like, did you not get that? I'm like, I don't know.

There's a turkey in there. I don't know. We're all going to go. I don't know. I don't know. Turkey cheddar biscuit from from hardies or something. Welcome to hardies. Would you like a back massage?

Your newspaper. Yeah. Your newspaper's in the shitter with an ash. Hardies or something. Welcome to Hardies, would you like a back massage? Your newspaper is in the shitter with an ass tray and a shot of whiskey. Welcome, Mr. Johnson. The bathroom is the one place our guests need to feel comfortable. We're talking about an episode where we reviewed some old training material, some training videos from hardies. Hardies, yeah. And this had to have been back in the 60s or 70s or something, but one of them, they were

telling you. I think it was the 80s because we were talking about the rap. Oh yeah. Well, that was the Burger King. Oh, okay, yeah. But the hardies won. But in the hardies video, they were talking about being overly, like getting to know your customer.

Getting to know your customer. Yeah, right. And one of the things they said was the bathroom is where your customer needs to feel most comfortable. But yeah, because you eat a hardy's burger. It's six in the morning. You're come straight to the show. You gotta go. Yeah.

And you know there are people out there whose hall morning routine consists of this, right? I hate my wife and I hate my children. I'm my fucking ball and chain. Or alternately, I hate my husband and I. my children. I'm my fucking ball and chain or alternately, I hate my husband and I, I hate, I gotta get out of that. Yeah. I'm gonna drop the kids off and then I'm going to work daddy's going to work, but where he's really going to is the hardies to read his cell phone on the shitter while eating a cheddar biscuit and drinking

a cup of shitty coffee. You know that happens. You know that happens. Oh, yeah. I know this happens because I used to work at a McDonald's. I've said this many times before. And there were people who, yes, they would religiously come in every fucking morning for a coffee in a biscuit or whatever it was, right? And they were typically older and sometimes they weren't skinny. Looks like because they've been eating fucking bacon egg.

Yeah, you know, this is a bacon egg and cheese biscuits are like 3000 calories a piece. And then inevitably, you know, back then they would smoke cigarettes at the table and then they'd go to the bathroom. Yeah, the little 10 ash trays. And then I had to be the one who went in and cleaned up. Like that. Oh my God. You haven't seen any.

Ooh. War is hell, ho, they. And war is a McDonald's bathroom after the morning shift That's what it is. It's people how do people get poop up on the wall? I don't know. How do you manage to get shit on the wall? How do you explode like that?

I'm just wondering. You eat a paper. You make it a coffee with a cigarette? Yeah, that's six in the morning. Can I get some mayonnaise with my biscuit? Sure. Guess I'll clean that up off the wall later too. It is so disgusting. That's bad.

It was so disgusting. The things I could see, I could tell you, how they, the stories I could tell you, reminds me of a couple of days ago. Then she could have a McDonald in the morning. I'll tell you. It's worse. So the family and I decided we're gonna get, there's a big Ferris wheel here in Atlanta,

much like the London Eye, and they call it the Atlanta Wheel or something like that. I don't know what they call it. It's basically a carnival ride that's heated in cool, not a car line. Yeah, the cars, these enclosed cars that you can get into. The London Ferris Wheel is probably 300 feet tall. I mean, it's like 30 stories and you can fit like 40 people in just one of those things

and it takes like an hour to go all the way around or something. Here in Atlanta, you can fit like five people in one of them. They have seats, they're heated and cooled and it takes about 15 minutes to complete from beginning to end, right? And it's high on 10 stories, 12 stories. Yeah, it's fun. I've done it a couple times. Kids have never done this.

Yeah. So we're like, oh, let's go do that. It's a chilly day in Atlanta. Let's go down there. We'll get in one of those heated little things. We'll spin them up a couple times. You know, it'll be exciting. We're going to have the greatest time.

And then we were thinking to ourselves, well, here's, this is Atlanta day. Let's go do something else at Atlanta. Let's eat somewhere that like an Atlanta staple. And what we come up with unbelievably is the varsity. Oh, yeah, that's it. That is an institution. If you'd ever been to Atlanta way back in the 50s when McDonald's was kind of coming into prominence, 50s and 60s, a gentleman here in Atlanta decided he would open a huge drive in the drive in restaurant called

the varsity near Georgia Tech right down there next to next door to Georgia Tech it's huge and what it's famous for is the way in which they do the orders so crazy men back there. Yeah, what you have? Too fast, I'm off. I'm off, I'm off, I'm off, I'm off. Cleaning shit up off the wall later. Yeah. They like screaming at you. It's like a horse race, right? Yeah.

And people are everywhere and it's just like, and the kitchen is a hundred feet long. And people are just throwing burgers up and fries everywhere. Yeah. Chilly on the floor. It's just an insane thing to go watch on a busy day like a Georgia Tech football or sports event, you know, what's your hair,

what's your head, you're gonna go, I don't know, I don't know, people yelling all over the place. I don't know how they do it. Yeah, they keep further. They say the system. Yeah, I basically think at this point, there really is no rhyme or reason

of what they're actually saying. I think they just keep the hamburgers and hot dogs coming because you can only get two things Chili dogs or a chili burger. Yeah, right and both of them are gonna give you bad gas at some point Yeah, because there is no quality to the meat whatsoever You just have to go there for the experience. It is a Walt Disney World burger costs way too much and it tastes like nothing So we decided we're going to go to the varsity. But we go up to a varsity. There's now that there are like three locations or four locations. We go up to one north of Atlanta because there is a Georgia Tech game going on

and I'm like, I'm not going to even deal with that traffic. Too much. We go up there. No one. You could throw a bowling ball in that place. You could throw a fucking bowling ball in this varsity at that time. And this is one that you can walk in. You just walk right in. Yeah, I guess you could go through

the drive-through too, but we decided we're going to walk in. So we walk in. There's literally three people sitting in the dining room and then there's nobody at the counter. But all the sudden, somebody comes, there's like two doors on each end and I walk in with the kids and then all of a sudden I see two people walking in from the other direction. Nah, I'm gonna say this again because I've said it before. I am not a prejudice against fat people. I'm just using the explanation to tell you what happened. To very large human beings walked in the door, husband and wife, they were holding hands,

and holy they were big, like the kind you see on my 600 pound life, big people. Yeah. And now, you've got that race going on in your mind, right? Can I get to the front counter first? Because I got the kids, they could have been tiny people and I would have said the same thing to myself. Yeah.

Because I'm always having a race with somebody, right? And I'm like, can I get to the front counter first? But of course, I have two kids, so no matter. Thank you, Jesus, I am the winner. Come on, come on. Quick! Of course, I have two kids, so no matter. Yank it, yes, I am the way. I'm fucking them all off. Quick! We can't wait for my second first, ya know. I can't wait!

Yes, it's like when I go to Disney World, even though there are gonna be 600 people that are clearly going to be in front of me, in any line, I'll be a mile away from a ride, and in my head, the person in front of me is clearly heading to the same ride, and I gotta get in front of him somehow. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I series about that stuff. So I have this game going on in my head but with two kids I can't drag Matisse fast enough because now Astrid is like honey hold on one second

well let's take the kids coats off and then we'll make sure the shoes are tied and then I'll make sure I got their water out of the bottle and then I'll go pick this table I'll get the ketchup you get the fries yeah and I'm like okay what do you want? We gotta get gotta get there. Quick, quick, I'm turning my head left and right. Quick, what do you want? I don't care, I'll get you something. There's only two things. Ah!

I'll take a photo. You'll get a slow, I'll take what you like. I'll buy everything. I just want to get there first. Everything! I just want to discreet. I'll take everything! Don't let them order first.

We came in first! But inevitably I did not get there first. These two people walked right up and you know at some point We walked at the same time we got there. Yeah, and then you know, I got to set an example for the kids I'm like, no, no after you Fucking assholes. I'm just like mumbling under my breath. They were probably thinking the same thing We better get out of this case. Of course, yeah. Family case. Well, no, I don't think they were because here's what happened.

There is one guy looks like the manager at the front. Usually at varsity, there's like 10 people taking your order, right? But because there's nobody in there, there's only one manager and then there's 100 people back in the kitchen, but there's one manager. And he takes their order and I can hear the order and she goes like this.

Ready? He goes, what do you have? What do you have? Right? And she goes, oh, okay, hold on one second. Let me get the pizza paper out.

And I'm like, no, not the pizza paper. The pizza paper, what is the paper? You can't remember what you're gonna order at the varsity. There's only two things. That means you're ordering for everybody. Yeah. Or yourself.

But one of those. Later. Oh, they all should you not. We'll take 20 cheeseburgers. We'll take 10 slaw dogs. We'll take 10 chili dogs. We'll take 10 chili and cheese dogs. We'll take 33 fries.

We'll take two mocha shakes. Give me an extra two cheeseburgers. Oh, we forgot about Ben and Larry. That's better get Ben and Larry. Oh, I think I think that's two. I don't think there's like a pie. Oh, we forgot about Ben and Larry. That's a big advantage. I think that's a big advantage too. Don't think of this like pie. Oh, sure. It's pie.

Yep, she's like, and let's get 12 pies. And then we'll get 17 Coca-Cola's. And I'm like, so now Astrid's across the dining room looking at me and I'm like, I don't know. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh man. But that's okay because it's a big order

and what's gonna happen is the guy's gonna call back the order, he's gonna put some trays down and he's gonna step aside. I'm gonna order and then eventually I get my food. And maybe even if the manager is smart, he'll take the couple of burgers that are up front, he'll give them to me and then you know, he can wait on that order.

Clearly they can't expect they're gonna get the order first, right? I mean, they just ordered $150 worth of shit from a place where it costs $0.60 for a fucking burger, right? Yes. No. No. No.

The manager, God bless his heart, waits for the entire order to be made, then he packages it separately. Before he even took your order. Before he even looked in, 15 fucking minutes, this guy was sitting there, packaging burgers, wax paper. Are you just standing up at the front? Like I was standing, you know, they have like,

you know, in Disney World they have the rails, they have a rail of the varsity, I guess to keep some kind of order when, you know, when you're at slam. I have it in! So I was standing at like the opening, like, you know, I'm next kind of thing, but the more minutes that went by,

the closer I got to the front desk, I was, some point I just was like leaning up at the front desk and every time the manager swung his head I was you know I don't want to be rude but I was like I put my hand up in the I could hear my kids screaming in the background and that's where it's like what's going on and I just wanted to point to the two incredibly large people next to me and be like, they did it. I don't know. He packaged 50 burgers and dogs, got 17 Coca-Cola's, two shakes and 70 pies before he even took my order.

And I was so pissed. I was like, this sucks. You have to be able to do this more efficiently. There has to be a way to do this more efficiently. Yeah, just bring another person out to the register and take your order. Yeah, I mean, maybe you have to have some kind of special training or something to be the front. To hit the cash register. The crash register. Yeah, I mean, I did work in McDonald's and I do that being on the cash register

was a privilege that was only given to the people who could actually read and write. And that wasn't a joke. That makes sense. Yeah. And there are just some people who could actually read and write. And that wasn't a joke. That makes sense. Yeah. And there are just some people who were better for the grill. Like they were just super full of grill. Yeah. I remember when I worked in McDonald's, there was a guy named Larry.

He worked in the grill. He was like the coolest grill guy that ever was, right? Yeah, right. He could make a burger. He would fix it for you right. Don't worry about if he screwed it up. He'll get it for you. Like he's just one of those guys.

Good at it, dude. Nice. Working hard. Yeah, those kitchen guys, they work hard, right? They do. And I'm sure Larry had, you know, daddy's a little helper in the background, but at that time I was naive enough to just believe that Larry was a cool guy. Yeah.

It was really quick at his job and also really quick at talking and also lost a bunch of teeth at some point because he did not have many teeth. Oh, no. Yeah, but he was, and he wasn't that old. I think he was probably in his 30s, but man, could he go, he ended up being the eventual guy that I bought my first bag of marijuana from, but he would go.

I mean, he would just do it. And then if you screwed something up, you always felt bad because the McDonald's was the 90s. So the McDonald's was constantly busy because everyone went to McDonald's in the 90s. And if you were, it was like a busy Saturday afternoon, if someone wanted no onions and you put no pickles, right? Then you felt bad, because that's a special order.

And back then, you didn't get your shit the way you wanted it. You had to do a special order. And you always felt bad about that, but Larry would, if Larry was on the grill, you'd never worry about it. Yeah, but he was the captain, he was in charge, you get it done, right? Don't worry, one, you know. You know. I would just worry about it. Yeah, but he was the captain, he was in charge, he'd get it done, right?

Don't worry, one, you know, you know. Coming right up right. One fart patty coming up with no onions. Don't you worry about it, buddy. I got you covered. Think, think, he'd wink at me. Think, think, think. We'll eat that one later.

Think, think, and I'd be like, yeah, buddy. And he'd smile at me with that one tooth. Oh, yeah. It was shine. Yeah, it's just shine through the hallways of the McDonald's. And I was like, yeah, and then there was a guy, there was another guy named Charles. If Charles was there, you were going to get yelled at. Oh, no.

And I spent some time with Charlie and Charlie had been, he had been to NOM or something. He was only 18 years old, but he had been to NOM because he had a lot of guns and don't try to me flag and he was very angry. And if you fuck something up you're gonna hear about it for the entire day. God damn it. It wasn't for green and that sassy, seedless bug in the break bag. Whole day would have been perfect. I was bad in the one, I was bad in a thousand until green came with this extra cheese, double cheese burger. came with this extra cheese double cheese burner. And you know, that's just the way that it was. So I respected those guys very much like to be on the grill was very cool. Like it was a cool job.

And eventually I did get on the grill and I was more like a Charlie than I was. And I'm not sure everyone would know what they all I eventually got back to the cooking part. Right. I started the I started sweeping, mopping, cleaning the bathrooms, picking up trays and cleaning ash trays. Then I moved to being like a backer. Like people would get busy and they would take an order and then I would put it together and stuff it. Then I got to the drive-through.

That was really good at that. Yeah, I was quick on the drive-through. I was good at the drive-through, right? And then I eventually opened the stores with the managers. So in the morning, I'd be there at like 3.30, you know, making coffee and, you know, getting your fucking, you know, blueberry jam out of the basement and all this other shit, right? Fucking blueberry packets. I hate when you ask for a blueberry packet.

Yeah, because then, and then eventually they said, Hey, green, want you to, what's taking a shot at the grill? And I was like, I called up to the big leagues. That's right. I called up to the big leagues. Look at me. To be big leagues. That's right. Call it up to the big leagues. Look at me. To be in court. I'm ready.

And then I'll never forget, you know, how they, the Larry was my first teacher, right? And he's like, here you go. You take 72 frozen patties, and you put them all down at the same time, right? And then you put the steam press on, and then you lift it up, and then you flip them once, right? But you gotta flip them quick, like this. Three to time. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, then you lift it up and then you flip them once, right? But you gotta flip them quick, like this.

Three to time. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, yeah. Right, he do that. Well, here's, you know, I would flip them like half at a time. They would never be cooked. I always find, I'd put, I'd know. He should have been working more in small batches. Yeah, yeah.

I think that's what they figured out too. And then what they did is they put me on the, the chicken, on the fry station, which was chicken and fish fillet, right? And fries, I do have to say McDonald's fries are so. they figured out too. And then what they did is they put me on the fried station, which was chicken and fish filet, right? And fries, I do have to say McDonald's fries are so freaking good. Now the managers in the front of the house

were sometimes responsible for the fries, right? So every time you would be low on a fry, you would throw some in the basket, right? And then if there's something with beeping, that's everybody had a paid attention to the beeping. That beeping stayed in my head for years. I want to show her for years. That beeping stayed in my head for years. I want to share that. I'm glad you're not with us.

Beep beep beep beep beep. All that, changing the fries. Change the fries. I was already. Yeah, you don't want a burn of ass get a fries. That's food cost. All that shit just built in your head. So eventually I became like the go to fry cook.

Okay. I like that. Fale. Chicken fillets and fish fillets. And I think they felt like that was an easy job for me. Because back in those days, they didn't sell too many McChicken's or fish fillets. They always sold a lot of on certain days. Yeah.

But even that, I couldn't get right because I kept forgetting which one had cheese and which one didn't have cheese. And then eventually I learned that the bacon station was like right next to the fry station and they had pickles for the McChicken's. And I was like to put the pickles and the bacon together as a little snack. And so what I ended up doing was eating a lot of pickles and bacon because they'd be like, why does that McChicken no male? And I'd be like, did you say fish, plain, or know. They'd say it's chicken no man.

And I'm like, now what it says on my slip. I always fuck shit up. And so eventually I just got a bad name on the grill. And Larry had to come and have a conversation with me one day. I'll never forget it. Larry said, and this was we're all backs. Not everyone's cut out for the girl. Actually, we would smoke cigarettes.

There was a basement where they, like a storage basement. And then they had a small office where the owner would come in and do the books. But then they had a break room. And so the break room had four McDonald's tables, right, with bench seats. So four McDonald's tables of bench seats. They had Astray's, a small TV, and then,

and then at that time, a CD player, so that, you know, we could play the newest, latest, and greatest sound garden in Pearl Jam, right? Right, you're jamming out the basement. Oh yeah, man, they're just grunge music 24 hours a day. But so one day, I will never forget, we took a break. Like you get two, 15 minute breaks and then a half hour break on the shift.

And so the manager said, hey Brian, why don't you take a break? I was on the grill, the chicken and fish. Okay. And then the manager said, hey Brian, what's your take a break? I was on the grill, the chicken and fish. Okay. And then the manager said, Larry, you should take a break too. It was smoke break. Yeah, and we all smoked and so we went downstairs

and I lit up my camel wide and I was like, what's up Larry? You know, I'm killing it on grill today. And he's like, well, about that. You are killing it. You're literally killing the food. You may be killing people in addition to that. So, I love you, Brian. I love you. You are really good at that drive-through. You kill on the drive-through. You take that money so fast and you're so friendly with people. You're a really nice guy up front. And I think that what we're missing up front is that kind of face.

I think we need leadership up front. Me and the manager were talking about this and I was like, yeah, and you guys were talking, you guys talked about this. And she's like, yeah, I think our name was Aiti or something. Me and Aiti talked about this early in the morning. We woke, we opened and we said,

oh, Brian's on Friday, Friday today. And. Shit. Look, I'm gonna do something about this. This is Saturday afternoon. And he says, we talked about this, and you know what, he said to me, oh, I guess not, what did she say to you?

She said, we're really gonna miss that smiling face up front today, when Brian's not there. So you know what, what'd you do me a favor bud? What'd you hand me that apron? What'd you go, what'd you could get a cleat shirt. Why'd you go up there and work on the drive-through? And I was like, you're not going to need me?

No, no, no, man, we got it. We got it. Yeah. We need you in the drive-through. A lot more than we need you killing my food costs. Right. And the holy ice sweater guy. We can't afford you on the grill anymore. That's right. Move back it. So I get up to the, so, you know, I think, I don't think I really understood what was going on.

I think they, we, they, You were flattered probably. Like they were talking about me. I was the topic of conversation. They recognized my talents. That's right. I wanted them to like me. Yeah.

And I wanted them to feel like my talent at the grill station was recognized. And eventually I was going to make it back up to that, to that beef station. Yeah. I was going to get station. I was gonna get that. I was gonna be flipping those burgers three at a time, just like Larry and his two teeth. If I could just, you know, get a little more nimble,

I just understood it more, right? If I could stop eating bacon and pickles, I could stop taking no-dose all night long, and eating bacon and pickles, and try to figure out who's gonna give me some weed later on. Then I could be a real star back here on the grill. This could be my life. I could be Larry, right?

Yeah. Now, I didn't aspire too much, but I wasn't 33-Willie, so I swear when I got up to the drive-through station, it took three people to work the front drive-through, where you had a busy day, where you gave this stuff, and they just recently had gotten the second window. That was just a new thing back in the 90s. It didn't happen very often. Great, the first one and get your food at the second.

That's right. For so long, it was always you pay and get your food at the same time, but this was one of the first McDonald's that I knew of to have a double window, and I was good at both. I was good at taking the money and I was good at giving the food, right? And so I go up and I'm like, hey, Edie, Larry told me.

And she's like, great, she needs, I mean, there's no next one. Great, let's get you up there, right? Do me a favor. Thank you, Hadley, and the conversation. And I'm like, so it was position one, two, three, and then window one, one, like it was position one. Sometimes you'd have two people in the front, window was really busy, one person taking orders

and one person taking money. And I'm like, okay, and she's like, let's get you at two four. And I'm like, what is two four? I thought we only had two, three, and she's like, oh, it's great. It's a new position we have. Tell back.

It's a new position we have. The dumpster is a tension. Go check the condiments and see if they need more. If they do, run downstairs and get them. And I'm like, go see if they need the condiments. I thought you wanted my smiling face. And she's like, well, listen, when one leaves, you can take over, but that was during the slow time

and you weren't a champ during the slow time. I really thought this was a competition. I really felt like I was getting a sense for where I belonged in life. And I was learning into McDonald's. I was learning how to hire art skills. Life skills, the hierarchy of a job goes And I was learning into McDonald's. I was learning how to hire Arkey. I'm skills. Life skills. So hierarchy of a job goes.

Yeah. Just by being at this McDonald's. And being in position, brand new, brand new, minted position, two, four. That's right. You'll do four. Well, you'll do four. Two, four. Hey Brian, why don't you take those coffee grinds out back, sift through them, see if

we got any extras we could throw in there. Do us a favor. Empty all the trash. That's where my smiling face belongs. Yeah, he did you off her. He's with the coffee grinds. It's a matter of fact, Brian, once you take position two five,

that's where you go home and come back on your next shift. Oh man, I was so bummed out. I just thought man, I was gonna be the next girl star. I was sure of it. It never happened. So anyway, I think that's man, I was the next girl star. I was sure of it. It never happened. So anyway, I think that's why they don't bring the girl guys up. We'll varsity. It's seven minutes later.

That's a great story. I really do enjoy your McDonald's stories. Thank you. My McDonald's stories. I enjoy the McDonald's stories that I have in my head because I know that was a special time in my life. And it taught me a lot about the real world. Getting up early. And I had a lot of mentors there, including

getting up early, staying up way too late, one of the two. And Larry, the toothless wonder. Larry, I wonder where you are. And I wonder where I can see your headstone. That's what I wonder. He's probably might still be working at that particular McDonald.

That's why I was gonna think. I should take a visit there with my video camera and see if I can actually find Larry. Because I do know that years after I quit that McDonald's years, that make me a particular McDonald. You could be, that's why I was gonna say. I should take a visit there with my video camera and see if I can actually find Larry. Because I do know that years after I quit that McDonald's years, I mean, I'm talking like 10 years after I quit that McDonald's, I went in there one time, but then in there one time since, and him and the old drive-thru manager

were still working at this particular McDonald's. I found their, they found their, hey, not everybody needs a CEO. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? You can be a,, you can be, you can be a hero on the grill of McDonald's. Oh, yeah. Because to me, he was a hero on the grill of McDonald's.

That time in my life, he was the hero. Uh huh. And he's probably fed countless millions of human beings their breakfast lunch and dinner, right? That's amazing to think about. I think, you know, not everyone, not everybody needs to be a podcaster. Right. You should do that to what you're seeing. To which some of our listeners are probably saying, you included it. Hey everybody, it's the commercial break inside of the commercial break.

Go to TCBpodcast.com. If you'd like to find out more about Chrissy and I, you can read all the show notes, get our sponsors, special URLs and codes. You can listen to all the audio, you can watch all the video all from our website. And if you'd like to, you can drop us a line at 6612378296, that's 661, best, the number 2, yo! At the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break is the home of our brand new series, TCBcom slash the commercial break is the home of our brand new series

TCB in the studio. Content you cannot get through the audio version, so please go ahead and jump over there and subscribe and be a great Christmas present to yourself. Get your free TCB collectible stickerer series number 2 is out right now. By going to the website and click on I Want My Free Sticker. We'll tell you how to get it, you tell us where to send it and we'll have it home for the holidays, just in time. We wanna thank you for being a listener of the commercial break

and we know commercials aren't your favorite thing in the world, but our sponsors are good enough to give you free shit and discounts just by listening to the commercials. So please use to specialize URLs and codes to get your free shit and then the sponsors keep on coming back and then we get to free shit, and then the sponsors keep on coming back, and then we get to do more content, and you get to keep on listening. It's a big, lovey-dovey relationship. Trust me.

Happy holidays to you and yours, and now, a word from our sponsors. Hey TCB Family, this episode is sponsored in part by Mac Weldon. The holiday season is here, and with it comes the yearly question of, what do I wear to the non-ugly sweater parties? And how do I maximize my holiday without spending all my time shopping online or in the mall? Fear not, weary holiday wanderer, Mac Weldon has your answer. Whether it's an office party, a party with family and friends, or just a holiday party

of me, my couch, and the game, Mac Weldon has all the essentials to keep me stylish and comfortable throughout the holiday season. Their innovative daily wear system has taken the hard work out of outfit planning, with pieces designed to work together, for any occasion, saving you time, and sparing you, any extra holiday stress. Mac Weldon clothing, been wearing it for a long time. It is so comfortable and it stylish. It fits my body well, and I don't have to worry about mixing and matching pieces

because Mac Weldon does it for you. Go to their website, macwellden.com, slash TCB, and enter the code TCB for 20% off your first order from Mac Weldon. That's macwellden.com slash TCB for 20% off your first order. From Mac Weldon, that's MacWeldon.com slash TCB for 20% off when you enter the code TCB. I got two long sleeve incredibly comfortable shirts. I got a vest and some underwear from Mac Weldon just a couple of weeks ago, and I've already worn it at least 20 times. You can see it on our YouTube channel, actually.

It's the long sleeve blue shirt made out of incredibly comfortable cotton. I'm telling you guys, Mac Weldon is the place to go for some easy online shopping of incredibly comfortable, affordable clothing. Mac Weldon.com slash TCB. Use the code TCB for 20% off. They're good enough to give those discounts to our listeners, so make sure you use those.

Mac Weldon making holiday shopping just a bit easier for the man in your life. Of course this episode is sponsored in part by our great friends at Squatty Potty. What is a Squatty Potty you ask? Well, I have the answer because I've had one for years, and so of all of my family members. The squatty potty is a piece of plastic or metal that sits under your feet and around your toilet for when you are going poop. That's right, when you do number two, the squatty potty

pushes your knees up towards your chest and allows you to be in a natural squatting position while you do your business. Why is this important? Because that's the way the universe made our bodies. To squat as we shit. And squatipotty.com is fixing the problem with a cheap what I call pooping utensil

that goes in your bathroom. It comes in stylish colors and shapes and sizes. You can pick whichever one you want. And for the price of a couple of cups of coffee, you can poop easier for the rest of your life. It'll take you a few times to get used to, but Squatty-Potty is willing to put their money where their mouth is. A 60 day, no questions asked.

Money back guarantee. If for any reason you do not like your Squatty-Potty, the good people at Squatty-Potty are giving our listeners 20% off anything you buy simply by going to squadipotty.com slash TCB. SQU atytypotty.com slash TCB for 20% off. Thank you, Squadipotty, for improving my poop and thank you, Squadipotty, for being a sponsor of The Commercial Brick. I was trolling on the internet. As you did. A couple of months back, I was trolling on the internet. As you do.

As I do. A couple of months back, I was trolling on the internet. Okay. And I think I asked you a question at one point, and I never really finished the statement. Yeah, you just kind of randomly asked it to me one day. Was it worth it that come from? Let me repeat the question. Would you ever make out with a cousin?

And I, to which I answered no. No. Not a second cousin, third cousin and I to which I answered no no not a second cousin third cousin? I don't think so no I have some hot cousins. I won't name them by name, but I had some cousins at least when I was a kid Yeah, that I thought were very attractive. I kid I'll say a teenager. I thought we're very attractive You can recognize the good the good-lookingness of the cousins, but to me it's off limits Yeah, I always felt like it was off limits, but I was wondered what it would be like

if it wasn't off limits, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm kind of half-kitting. So my cousins, listen to this, don't think. I don't think I was in the shower. Cold shower, thinking about you. I don't think I was in the shower. We've called shower thinking about you. But I've always thought it was very taboo, at least in my circle of people.

Yeah. No, but that's not true. Because over 56% of the world's population, believe it's okay to get married to a first cousin, and over 36% of the world's married population in Asia and South Asia East you know Asia as a as a whole as a continent are married to a cousin It has a continent has a whole because I've been the same thing when it's yeah I'm on a roll today. Welcome to the commercial break. Your geography lesson is. How many counting in sorry? There's seven. Okay, tell me. North America, South America, Asia, as you just mentioned. Yes. Australia. Antarctica. Europe. And there's one more.

Antartica and the North Pole. I don't think this is a continent. I think that's ice. Antartica and Antartica. That's what it is. Australia, Asia, North South America, Europe. And what's the other one? I sure remember.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. South Africa. Africa. Africa. It's Africa.

Yes. South Africa. She's Christ. I'm going to cut this out of the show. I'll be good. Yeah. Cut this out for Mariss. Sure.

Okay. Back to Asia. So Mary 36%. 36%. That's the best for embarrassing. Sure. Okay. Back to Asia. So, 36%. So, 36%. 36%. People in Asia. Yes, some traditions.

And I know that England, you know, there used to be a monarchy. Of course. It would marry in inter-marry. It would inter-marry. It goes as a pro-defects. It doesn't actually. Here's the thing. A long-term study from scientists,

and I read about this, not advocating for this, I want you to know, it'll sound like I am, but I'm not really, it doesn't cause long-term birth defects. What causes birth defects in a long-term situation where you're marrying into your bloodline is when you're married too close into your bloodline, typically you're siblings by both parents, right? Okay.

So that's just, I just want to. Not first cousins. Not first cousins, not second cousins, certainly not third cousins, because it's one way. Yeah, as you go into, yeah. As you keep going down, I think it's like, I think first cousins.

No, it's not true. Okay. At least that's what I read, and I did some research on this, right? Because I was like, that's really weird that you would marry your first cousin, that you would all wanna make out with your first cousin. Now, I have heard, in my own experiences of human being,

I have heard a number of people, I'll say three people that I can think of, who have said they have had relations with their first cousin. Oh, okay. Which to me, in my growing up, in my my Life that was a big known rough course me too I even one time when I was like eight years old had a kissing what I call a kissing cousin Okay, they know those people where you call them cousins, but they're really not cousins You know I'm saying Aunt Judy and Uncle Bob and Chrissy

Yes, right. Yeah, and yes, right. Yeah, but you're really not an aunt. Right. And therefore your children, Jeff's children, are not my children's cousins, but we might say that at some point, right? Oh, there's cousin Olivia or whatever it is, right? Sure.

So, but we didn't really have that concept. And so me and this young lady, we ended up like making out like eight year olds would right? Yeah kissing on the lips are on the cheek or whatever and We got in trouble because you were not supposed to make out or kiss your own cousin Well, and I think the fact that you were eight might have been I was really honestly I was like fuck you guys. I want on doing. I was, I remember feeling to this day that feeling. Oh, tingly.

Little tingly. And I remember feeling a sense of real adventureism about it. Like, wow. They tell me, no, that means I should. Yes. This is not as unusual as we think. And 36 states allow this in some way, shape. I had, let me guess, they're mostly in the South.

Mostly in the South, Oklahoma. Utah, is one of the ones that does not allow marrying of cousins. Does not. Unbelievable. That is unbelievable. That is unbelievable. Yeah, because it's because you can just marry multiple, multiple people.

Yeah, you can marry multiple people just as long as they're not related to it. Yeah, yeah. That makes what it says. Oh, that was like a really big one. So 36 states allows some form or fashion of... Cousin marrying. Cousin marrying, bloodline marrying, right?

Now I don't think it's legal in any state to get married to your sister, your brother, or whatever. But very rarely do you find people that are proud of this. Yes. Proud of this fact, right? Even if you married your cousin, your family would know, but you might want to keep it secret outside of your own family.

Yeah. I can't imagine how my family would react if I decided I wasn't love with one of my cousins and we took them and like we came to the family. Right. Yeah. Now I don't talk to my cousins. I think you know everyone here. Yeah.

I think you're familiar with. I think you're familiar with my mom and dad. Thank you dad. This is cousin Stacy. I think you know everyone here. Thank you for familiar with. Do you really hear with my mom and dad? Dad, this is cousin Stacy. Thank you, no, we don't. This cousin Stacy and we've been having a lot of sex lately. It's an update on us. How are you guys doing? I don't know if you got our Christmas card in the mail.

That's a way to announce it. I'm Mary Happy Holidays from the green. Happy Holidays from the greens. Is that Brian and Stacey? What a cute cousin photograph. They're really good. They open it up and we're like making out. Oh! So that's how it is in this family.

What it is. So I found recently, a month or two ago, that there is a very, now becoming very famous couple that our first cousins have known each other all their lives and are madly in love with each other and cannot stop telling the world about it. Okay. They recently were indicted because she got pregnant in Utah and Utah indicted them. Why were they picking one of the one states that done the law? That's where their family lived, I guess. I don't know. It's just like those damn seven little sisters or seeking sister wives or seven, not seven little

Johnston's, which is back on by the way in a wonderful show. Check it out. I love my Johnston's. You do. I love my Johnston's. Please come on the show. Any of you, I'll take any of you. But. Yeah, the sister wives. Sister wives. Yeah, sister wives. No, but not the sister wives, like seeking sister wives. The actual, what's that one?

They're like interviewing women. No, no, no, this one's the one with like Cody. And he's, he's married to seven. What you don't talking about. Yeah. What's that show? I can't remember that name. I think it's a surprise.

I think it's actually just okay. Whatever it is. One of those girls just divorced him. One of those ladies just divorced him. One of his first one because she said that it just wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Go fucking figure. And that it didn't feel like a real marriage. Go fucking figure.

Right. Because Cody just wants to get his dick wet with a new woman every minute. And he wants to ignore all of the other stuff that goes around. You can't be a real father to 29 children in five separate houses. It's just two. Doesn't exist like that.

I'm not saying Cody's a bad guy at heart. I think he might try and be a nice guy, but he's a real dumb fucking dumb when it comes to marrying people. I'm much heartache and headache must that be? Couldn't you see this one coming down the line, Cody? But anyway, those dumbasses couldn't get out of the state of Utah either because they felt like it was the place

where they needed to live. Until the actual law chased them out of there. They threatened to put them in jail if they didn't leave the state or uncouple. And so they went to Colorado, where I guess Colorado was. They're okay with it. Let me introduce you to the couple where I guess, Colorado was. They're okay with it. Let me introduce you to the couple that I'm talking about here. Now listen to this guy's voice.

I have a question that it's unrelated to the marriage of the cousins. Listen to the, I want you to listen to this guy's voice. Okay. How you guys came to fall in love? They're doing an interview, by the way. I think for either people or one of those magazines, ABC people, something like that. Okay, yeah. I'm using this audio, I will credit it. I just wanted to let you know that I'm using the audio

of someone that I don't know. But I will give them credit, that's okay. Oh goodness. I met Angie as a small child. When I was, how did you guys meet? But we're cousins. I was, how did you guys meet? But we're cousins. But then we, there's this family event.

I met Angie when I was six months old. There was a family event. And I remember thinking to myself the first minute, I hope my dad changes my diaper. And then I thought wow, she's hot. Where's that tit that keeps feeding me? Oh, she's cute. This guy sounds like a radio personality to me. I think he is a radio host. Okay. Yeah, just like me.

Seven or eight years old when I went to visit her parents in Virginia. And we stayed for a few days and I immediately clicked with Angie hung out with her the entire time. Made little play games, made little rings together. I gave each other handshakes, dry arms. We were just hanging out. Yeah, how do you, this is creepy. Is this already creepy?

That you guys are falling in love with each other at a young age like that. You're just kids, you're just having fun together. Does this guy already sound like a radio voice dude? I think he's on a radio. Okay. I think that's why the story is interesting to other media outlets is because- Is he in the media?

Yeah, I couldn't find him, but I think he's on one of these rinky-de-stations somewhere out there in Utah. Okay, in Utah. We're inseparable to the point where I even told her mother stopped her in the hallway and said, you know, I'm gonna marry Angie She said no

You can be friends and Well I of course had the last laugh No, I of course had the last laugh, but no, actually, I showed her. I showed her. Look at me now. I pissed her off. I'm fat.

We don't talk to any of our family anymore. Right, see? Last laugh. I would say that it started very young. I've always felt a very special connection with Angie, and I, no one has ever made me feel the way that she does. Whoever could. We've always loved each other. Was it the same for you, Angie?

You knew from when you were, when you were young? I didn't know that I was gonna end up marrying Michael, but I knew I liked him. I knew that there was something about him that was easy to get along with and felt familiar. Yeah, he's your fucking cousin. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Jesus, Jones, you gotta be a fucking real nid-nid-knock not to figure this one out. Yeah. Yeah, I felt familiar with my cousins too. We're all playing around with each other. We share an ounce and uncles together. I mean, it's like... Mm-hmm. Just felt comfortable.

I just felt comfortable. I just felt like family. You know what I mean? I still like she was a member of my family right off the bat, even when I was three. And mind you, they're talking about when they're meet. First of all, the reporter framed this question, real dumb, like a real dumb dumb. When did you guys first meet? When you first meet your cousins. Don't cousins usually meet pretty early on? I don't know. I mean, let's see if it's a real disconnected family.

I'll say that's a start That's a good start. It's a very good start and like you said you had the last laugh you guys are now married Congratulations. Thank you Congratulations. We all think that's real creepy This is not that fucking reporter. What a Creebie. This isn't that fucking reporter. What a congratulations. We will make you a fun of you all day long.

Yeah, I think you're Creebie. I hate even being in the room with you. And you've been campaigning for a while now to get married in Utah, correct? Yes, it hasn't turned out as we had hoped, but we did meet with the senator and he made a few suggestions. Of course. Yeah, you did meet with the senator and he made a few suggestions. Of course. We did meet with the senator and he made a few suggestions. He said when he married his cousin.

This is the steps. Yeah. Michael, why don't you just have sex with the prostitute. It's so much easier. Whether or not this is going to happen or not, who knows, it would be nice if it does, but we've done some things in that direction to try to push the lawn off it. And so why is it so important to you guys to be married in Utah? I know people might say you're like oh just move just leave a state. Yeah why you stop? Yeah well it's not so easy to

move is it you know it's easy for me outside and, watch it just move, just pack up all your belongings and get a bunch of boxes from Walmart and then pack everything up in a bit of, is that the way people sound? That's nice of me. He's making fun directly of the reporter. Yeah. Shovein is pig.

This guy, by the way, he has a shitting grin on his face and he's the kind of guy that looks directly at his wife while she's talking, you know, like stairs her down, like she's saying something and he's, and he's like, Yeah, even said he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and Call me brother. Let's think of one step further. Call me brother. Call me brother. And that was a nice house. It's not that easy. And I have a job there. She has family, we both have family ties there.

You both have family ties there. She has wheat well, wait, wait. And we have actually her family ties or my family ties. I don't know if you picked up on that. But he's pretending like this is a, like, this is a real marriage. Yeah, we have actually her family ties are my family ties. I don't know if you picked up on that, but. Yeah, pretending like this is a, like, like this is a real marriage.

I mean, it's a real marriage. It just happens to be your cousin. It just really strange. Father of her, the father of her children for her previous marriage lived there. And so just up and up, you know, up root and like the Beverly Hillbillies or something is not as easy as it's not.

So she had kids before and then got divorced and then was like, I mean, there's really just no good. Yeah, Danny. Okay, guys. I got divorced Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was like, well, Danny's got a dick. I know I'm already. Yeah. It was really familiar. Thanksgiving and Christmas I was like well Danny's got a dick Exactly exactly why were you covering your tracks on that one yeah, that's like a woke attitude about the Beverly Hill Billy Who's about the Beverly Hill

Who's upset about the Beverly Hills, at least? Am I missing something? Yeah, it seems like he's... I think I have my finger on the pulse, and I don't know. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with redneck striking oil and moving to Hollywood. And you know, I was watching one of your YouTube videos that you shared recently saying, you know, eventually one day you might like to move out of state. Absolutely.

Any idea of where you'd want to go? We both like California. Michael spent a lot of time in Texas and I wouldn't mind trying Texas out. That's not a bad place for the two of you to be actually. Yeah. I think there's more than a few cousin Maryages in Texas. Just like there is here in Georgia, but yeah. Not single in you out in Texas.

Love you Texas. Houston, Austin, Dallas, you yeah, not making fun not singling you out Texas. Love you Texas Houston Austin Dallas. You're my people. Yes, but let's be honest. You get outside the outskirts Yeah, there's some out out line areas and listen I can understand if you live in Georgia if you live in like you know if you live in a small You know township outside of Lubbock, Texas. Yeah, maybe your cousin is the only thing you can make Yeah, that's true that case. well, what are you gonna do? If I only had cousins around me my entire life, maybe I also would have married one of my cousins.

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe it's situational, in some sense. Right now, I've just been in Utah for half my life now, and that's longer than I've lived in any other place, and I'm dying to get out. But because of my children and their dad, and visitation and all that,

we have to stay in Utah for the time being How did that conversation go with the ex husband? Remember Danny from those reunions that we used to all This Christmas dinners. I'm marrying him. He was actually giving me hang-up I'm with him now. Yeah. Oh really It's the same Danny that you went to the family. My yes, my cousin. That the same Danny you went to the wedding with by yourself. That's the same Danny you would go to ski trips with the kids.

Yes, it was. Ah, I mean, it's just weird that that pops up out of nowhere like that. Totally. You just show up at a reunion one time and you're like, well, Danny's hot. I guess I'll fuck him. Yeah. Wow. Say, you know, like they're kind of repulsed by this. Do you understand that or what is your response?

Do you know that? I can understand. I can understand a lot of things. I can understand a lot of things. Well, is he good copry him? He sounds like a total radio guy. Like, what are those old school radios? Oh yeah, hey, hey, come on.

Yeah. Big ass. We really, come down to Big Outs Growshow. And this Saturday from 2 to 4, we got clowns and music and more clowns. We're giving away a free Bob Garmishing. My name is Danny, this is my wife, my cousin. This is my wife and my cousin, Judy.

Nice to meet you. Oh. This is my wife and my cousin Judy nice to meet you. Oh. That was air supply. And now take a little piece of my heart. Take a little piece of my heart. My cousin took a little piece of my heart last Saturday. 52 degrees and sunny on W, UTH, UTOL's finest.

Soft rock. UTI. UTI. UTI. I'm Danny and welcome back to WGI, the itchiest radio station around. We'll have you burning for more. You know what, the other day I woke up and I looked over and I said I'm the luckiest cousin in the world. That's right.

That's right. Now I'll back to the music. Here's aha with That's right. Now back to the music. Here's a ha with take on me. Take on me. Take me. I can understand why they would do that depending on their upbringing, depending on what they're they were taught culturally, depending on what they were taught by their family. It depends on a lot of different factors. I can see why someone would be repulsive. What is the soft core porn music? Tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint,

unbuttoned energies, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, tint, this is soft core porn at the best. Yeah, come on, people, you couldn't get better music than that. I can get better music than that. I'm a podcaster. I know music than that. I can get better music than that. I'm a podcaster I know better than that by any behavior if I were just to put myself in their shoes for two seconds I can get okay

I can see why they would be repulsed But then again you have a walk the mile in my shoes She's like I think this is a very softball interview. I think it's likely that a TR agent set this up just to give them so that they could, you know, get some good press. By the way, they have recently been

on a Discovery Network show called Only Human and they did like an expose on this. And so I'll see if I can get a hold of this. And it's probably more interesting than this lady softball questioning them where he has an opportunity to just spend things the way that he wants to. Another thing that bothers me, and I'll say this,

and we'll get into this in another episode about male showmanism. But one of the things that bothers me is when a man feels the need to validate everything that his woman says, that his wife or his girlfriend or whatever says. So she'll say something and he'll go, that's right, honey, that's right.

It's like, you're doing good. Yeah, you're doing good. Keep going, keep going. I like the direction. Stop. Stop. No. But you won't eat for a week.

That's right. What are you doing? I know it's weird. It's so strange. I do not do that to ask for. No. I occasionally do it here to you, but that's just you. You the encouragement you're looking for. It's good laugh. I like that. Keep that going.

That's appropriate. Yep. Okay, too much. Too much. Slut up. Okay. You have the same kind of. Yeah, I would say that, you know, it depends like Michael said on your background and your upbringing and how close you are with your cousins growing up. For some, they grow up with their cousins their whole lives and so cousins are more like siblings and in that case the incest taboo does develop naturally and transically but when you don't grow up seeing each other a lot and you reconnect as adults, then aromances are much more likely to occur And you are now on What

I'm not so sure that's correct. Yeah, I mean part for me the attraction that I have You know like the physical attraction that I have for someone also has to come mentally and I think just in my Mental mind I would not be attracted to someone that I'm related to. I think that even though I know there are cousins that I have that are attractive, I'm not attracted to them. They are beautiful women, but I don't even think about it.

Because I'm like, whatever, they're my cousins. It's more of like a brotherly sisterly type thing. I'm like, oh, you know, I can, I don't have any sisters, but I can tell that my brothers are good looking gentlemen. Yeah. But that doesn't mean I want to bone them. Right. Right.

Or maybe I don't know. Maybe one day I'll walk into the Thanksgiving dinner and I'll be like, hey, Kev, you want to get married? What do you say we move on to Utah? and go get married where it's completely illegal. And we TV is extreme love. Oh, we TV is extreme love, which I think is owned by Discovery. Congratulations. Thank you.

What made you got this true? That's right, honey. Congratulations. Good job remembering. Good job. We'll talk about that in the car. We got to have a conversation about that later. Sounds like a guy who needs to have control of it.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I decide to go on a reality TV program. They paid us. Yeah. That's a dumb question. That's a dumb, dumb question. Well, I think they pitched the idea to us,

and the way that they pitched it sound, it sounded very reasonable. It sounded fun. It sounded like a good opportunity to get ourselves out there and present a very hopefully tasteful story about cousins being married and show people that were regular people, just like everyone else. I feel like massage porn should be to this music. Yeah, you know saying

I've seen a few more than my fair share of massage porn videos and I feel like this is a perfect massage porn video material. They got like the the beat the drum beat Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, it's the thrash, the thrash, the thrash, the thrash. Oh, it's hell fell off. Let me massage the inside of your labia. Oh, and we've also brought in a lot of other political elements and stuff that kind of backs what we're doing. And so we're not as freaky as people would think that we've- Oh wait, so you bring it in political elements, but what?

Political elements, that's the thing. What are you talking about? Yeah. That because you talked to a senator? You know, I made it. No, another thing that I did, yeah, because you talked to a senator who gave you a few good ideas. Look, good ideas that he gave you.

You didn't even specify. He said, move out of the state. I know, is that legal here? You think I'm gonna go to bat for your cousin marrying? You got to be kidding me. I already either got a dad guy Pat sleepy Joe on the back or pretend January 6th didn't happen.

And now you want me to go to bat for cousin marrying? Yeah. Are you a fucking moron? It would be. So I think that it was, it was a lot of fun. And when they pitched the idea, we kind of talked about it and said, yeah, it's a good idea to get our ourselves out there and our message. They're not freaky. I mean, let's, let's delve into that again

just for a second here, because I don't necessarily think they're like kinky freaky. No, I don't think I don't think that's actually. Yeah, it's just uh, weird in my opinion. The number one porn type of porn that is viewed in the United States right now and during the pandemic it's step-daughter porn. Right. Right. So incest is a thing. It is a kink, right? People are interested in, and whether they're interested in themselves doing it or watching somebody else do it. But I would be interested in the cousin born statistics. Uh, that just doesn't seem all that kinky to me.

Like, you know, okay, you fucked your cousin. That's all right. Yeah. Stepdawder's like totally taboo. It's like you should not have sex with your stepdaw. Absolutely not. For sure not. And, uh, and, you know, I don't know if they take it

to step further than that. I don't know if there's like, I don't even want to get into it. But I don't know if there's like, that's just a whole different animal. Yeah. Change from minds. For me, I think awareness is the first step in social change. And what I love about social change, what are you trying to make it like, you want this to sweep the nation?

I can see you're outside with like a protest sign. Yeah. Who are you Martin Luther cousin? I mean, like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, thank God, James. Times are a change. Oh, hell no, cousin, what the hell? I mean, what do you want to happen?

I don't get it. I just don't get it. Oh, look at the time. Listen, we'll get back to more. I know I just don't get it. Oh look at it. Oh look at the time We'll get back to more. I promise you does not get more interesting from there That's the first five minutes was the most interesting five minutes. Yeah, I wanted to say this to everybody out there Love this song, man So awesome it's called the weekend It's by the grooves I think is the name the groove Okay, I like it song the name? The grooves? I like it.

Yeah, like it. They have a whole bunch of songs. Then I'm interested in this, just one of the ones that happened to license. So there you go. I wanted to see this. Go to youtube.com slash the commercial break for our special, our new special segment called in the studio.

You can only watch it on YouTube. It does not air on the audio version. So go there. We've been talking about AstroWorld. We're gonna put out one shortly where we give you an explanation about Taylor Swift's decoupling from her universal contract and why she's re-recording all of her shit. So it's just something where we talk about subjects

that are a little bit more timely. And not always crazy. You know, we talk about absurd shit and our family and our life stories here. But that's not all we're interested in talking about So go watch in the studio at youtube.com slash the commercial break subscribe to the channel if you would that make us so happy You can go to at the commercial break on Instagram. We're giving away a squatty potty next week And you'll learn more about that on Instagram at the commercial break

I do want to remind you, Chrissy and I really appreciate the fact that you're listening to our sponsors. We know there's commercials in the show and they've been there for a while, but now there's like actual commercial commercials in the show, that is our, in an effort to keep our show free and frequent to you

so that you don't have to pay some nominal fee on Patreon or anything like that. We'd rather it just go free to you. Let us get a couple sponsors to cover some of the costs. That's it. No big deal. A couple minutes commercials. And I also wanted to say this. Go to tcbpodcast.com and use our sponsors, especially URLs and Codes. You get free shit. That's why they give it to you. It's great, for everybody. Okay, now what else can we do today? I

Think that's a bride. I think she was a I like the song I feel like sometimes you're like I've heard this so many times before I'm just gonna dance for a second. I love it. I'll clearly clue back in I love you. I love you until next time best of you Best of you out there in the podcast audience! We always say at the end of the show, bye! The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com.

Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley, with you you