The Commercial Break - Strategic Interwebs Meeting

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

Bryan & Krissy might be strategizing about the interwebs, but I (producer Christina) am concerned about his upcoming dental work! Baby Reindeer SPOILERS Love Is Blind article The New York - Dublin portal Bryan would be good on Daisy of Love (deadass) Accidentally going live Dads in Spain being bad Bryan & Krissy’s expense reports Nuclear, pronounced: /ˈno͞oklēər/ Bryan’s got a bad tooth The roots are in his sinuses! Bryan’s upcoming tooth extraction…we are concerned LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am in to ginger ladies. All the gingers in the world hit me up. Appreciate you. Very sorry for this confession here. On this episode of the Commercial Break. I don't want to discourage you from using your account, your expense account, but you wrote meeting with Hoadley on it. And he's like, where, how,

I think we spent $150. We're talking internet thing. Yeah, internet, the interwebs. We're going to make money on the interwebs. I am strategizing with Chrissy HoODLing about how best to get cocaine. If that's not important, I don't know what is. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, kids and kids, welcome back to The Commercial Break.

I'm Brian Green and this is my Martha to my Donnie. Kristin Joy would lay best to you, Kristin. Best to you, Brian. She doesn't even know what I'm talking about. Best to you in the podcast universe. I was like, Donnie, like. You're the Martha to my Donnie. You're the, I'm baby reindeer and you're my stalker.

Oh, okay. Just keep coming over to my house. Bothering me, annoying, walking right in my door. And then you just spy on me. I do. Oh yes, I do. Well, news flash. If you watch Baby Reindeer,

I can't believe you didn't stick with Baby Reindeer. We were just talking about this right before we came on. I saw two episodes, but then I got distracted by other things. I can't believe it. There's so much content. I know, I know. But I'm telling you, I mean, I think,

my personal opinion is Baby Reindeer, it's simply one of the best mini-series I have ever seen in my entire life. That's strong. And maybe it's because it feels like it hits home, because I also, I'm looking for- You might have experienced some of it. Transsexual, yeah.

I'm also looking for trans relationships, no. Yeah, I have experienced some of it, and's scary and it doesn't feel good and it's hard to explain to people, except for you, who I did explain to. I kept a secret from everyone because I'm like, I'm just on like a crazy fucking, you know, my judgment is going to be questioned because of who I chose to get involved with. It's weird how it twists everything up and a true stalker, someone who has that kind of obsessive personality or bipolar or whatever it is, whatever the mental health issue that it causes that kind of obsessive compulsive need to be around somebody and have them in your life is really unnerving. It's really unnerving.

It's not like normal love. It's like love bombing followed by very dangerous activities. But Baby Reindeer on the surface as a piece of art is just simply brilliant. It really is. I love the way it's constructed. I love the story. I think it's brilliantly told and brilliantly acted. Why? Because the guy who wrote it and acts in it is the guy that it happened to. And Martha, who is the stalker,

is really well acted by the actress also, I can't remember her name now, but is well acted by the actress, but she is just unnerving in that role. It just, it's on the nose. They hit it on the nose 100% what it's like to be stalked in that manner. And it is disturbing and they get it right.

And in the end, and spoiler alert for anybody who's not watched the entire series, I think it's- Like me? Yes, like you. I'm sorry, I gave you warning. I gave it three months that show has been out. I've given everybody warning though. I'm going to talk about it.

So here's a spoiler alert, turn it off for the next five minutes or fast forward if you don't want to hear. But in the end, and I don't think I'm really giving too much away, but in the end, the question is, was Donnie obsessed with Martha or was Martha obsessed with Donnie? And how easy is it for someone to kind of get in that mind frame that- Like needing the attention? Needing the attention, loving the attention. The whole thing is about this guy who just can't come to grips with his own reality, his own life, his own- Yeah.

Because he's like a comedian, right? He's wanting to be a comedian. He's a bartender. He's wanting to be a comedian. He is, he has been struggling with his sexuality. He was abused and he has a lot of confusion around who he is as a human being. Like I think a lot of people go through these moments, right? And he has no clarity and he feels so shitty about his

own life that he can't come to terms with reality. And so, he allows, in some sense, this to go on because he likes the attention, he doesn't want to hurt anybody else's feelings, and he has empathy for another lost human being who is Martha. but Martha is obviously dangerous, obviously obsessed, obviously just a, you know, strange, has strange behavior around Donnie. I love this television show. If you haven't seen Baby Reindeer, I highly suggest that you go watch it. And yeah, so, and here's why I want to bring it up now. I watched Martha, they, of course, people on the internet found out who Martha was. It was bound to happen, it was never going to stay a secret, because she has publicly stalked other people before, she has been to jail, she has been accused of it. She was

accused of stalking a government official in the UK before she even met Donnie. This is how Donnie found out that, you know, Donnie, the character in the television show, this is how Donnie found out that she was dangerous, because he Googled her and he figured out that she was in fact a true-life, real-deal stalker who had been not convicted, but had been accused of stalking this government official. And now this government official is backing up what Donnie said. He said, yeah, she sent like thousands of weird emails to me and she wouldn't leave me alone and all this other stuff. So, but Martha, the real Martha was outed and then she goes on Pierce Morgan's show and she spends an hour with Pierce Morgan. The lady is disturbed. She is obviously

lying. She tells, she says one thing and then three minutes later she says the exact opposite. You kind of feel bad. Listen to me, I'm dying. You kind of feel bad for her. You kind of do feel bad for her in some way, shape or form, but she claims she hasn't seen the show, but she knows a lot of details about, you know, it's like she's trying to pretend that like this all came out of left field and she has no idea why this guy is, you know, making a television show. But it's pretty obvious why this guy is making a television show about her. It is so good. It is so fucking good. It's so good that I wish I could go erase my mind of all baby reindeer related content and then watch it again for the first time. I watched it

in like two sittings and it's, I don't know, a total of four hours of content. It's half hour, 40 minute episodes. And so I really wish I could erase my mind. Then I just thought to myself, Brian, you're like an old fucking dude. You just have to wait six months and it'll completely erase from your brain and then you can go watch it fresh again.

Just wait six months, it'll be fine. And I told you to watch that show and you ignored me. You ignored me. Now I'm you to watch that show and you ignored me. You ignored me. Now I'm on dark matter and on Apple. Okay, I'll get on that. I'll get on that. Yeah. I tell her to watch 90 Day Fiance. She runs and watches seven seasons. The shittiest show ever.

I tell her to watch Baby Reindeer. It took me like two years in fairness. It did take me like two years to come around to that show. Yeah, that's true. When I did, then I... You were like, oh, I see what Brian season two years to come around to that show. But when I did, then I- You were like, oh, I see what Brian's season was. But now I'm done. Yeah, now I'm done. Completely done with 90 Day Fiancé,

forget about it, not interested. Now there's one storyline, maybe, in each season for the last three seasons that I'm interested in. And it's just like, they're just regurgitating the same characters, the same people. I saw that. And this kind of piggy fronts off something we wanted to talk about yesterday, which was the Love is Blind, Big Hubbub, the New Yorker article that was written, I think fairly well actually about reality show stars and what they go through when they sign up for a reality television show and how people like, what's her name, Bethany Frankel, are trying to start

a union, have actors and actresses, quote unquote, for reality shows unionized, like some standard of pay, some standard of living, some standard of hours worked and protections on set and all that. Now, I'll say about this New Yorker article, and maybe Christina, you can put the link to the New Yorker article about the Love is Blind drama that went on behind the scenes. I'll say this about the article. The article shares a number of stories from specifically the Love is Blind cast and how they feel they were mistreated during the filming. They were misled and mistreated during the filming of Love is Blind. They thought they were going to get one

thing and they got another. I'll address that in a minute. But one of the things they address in the article is a supposed sexual assault that happens. I want to make clear, I make no fun of anybody who has been sexually assaulted. No, absolutely not. And that true sexual assault should not happen. Should never happen under any circumstances. And I stand with anybody that's been victimized by an abuser in any way, shape or form, quite frankly.

Fucking P Diddy, you goddamn asshole. Did you see that video of P Diddy throwing that girl down, casting down the hallway in a hotel room? I saw a headline about it. Okay, I'll just skip that bullshit. But anybody who's been abused. So I want to preface this whole thing by saying that because I don't want anybody to get it wrong. That's it. Love is Blind, big New

Yorker article, people are, some former cast members are complaining about the way that they were treated on the Love is Blind set. They were saying they only got minimum wage or less than minimum wage, that they had to work long hours, that the producers manipulated their stories. No fucking shit. No fucking shit. I'm having a hard time getting a whole bunch of empathy together for these folks who decided to go on Love is Blind to be famous and then complain about the hard work it takes to get famous and complain about the fact that the producers manipulated their stories.

I mean, of course they did. Have you never read a news article? Have you never seen a reality television show? You think all that stuff happens naturally, organically? No. Fuck no. There are producers and writers. Why do they credit?

Go watch any of your favorite reality shows, and wait until the ending credits come on. And tell me if you see writers as one of the bullet points on the credits. Of course you do because, or storyline producer or whatever. Those people are there to manipulate the drama and make sure they get a good edit in the final product. Because if it's not interesting, you're not famous. That's what happens. And no one's going to watch it. Yeah, people watch for the drama. No one's gonna watch it if it's not interesting. And then there's the storyline plot twists and things like that and the arguments. Yes.

I mean, yeah, you kind of know what you're signing up for at this point. If they put a sheet up between the two of you and put you in a fucking pod and then all you do is fall in love and make kissy kissy smoochy noises. It's not interesting. We don't watch because of that. We watch for the blowups and the drama and the walkouts and the throwing of the chairs. That's why we watch. It's a storied reality show, a favorite pastime to go ahead and just be an asshole or throw things against the wall or kick over a table, whatever it is. Since real world on MTV came into our lives a long time ago, which is the first, not the first ever reality show, but credited with really

bringing reality television to the United States in a big way. Since the first season of the Real World, just where there was no storyline producers, they were literally just sitting around an apartment staring at each other. And there was drama, drama, drama in that we couldn't believe it. We were amazed at how dramatic people were. Why? Because it's manufactured drama. They put alcohol in the room, they put seven strangers in a room, and they said, let it

fly, let it rip. And of course it did. There was racism and yelling and name calling and people screwing other people, people fucking other people. That's what happens because it's not interesting if that doesn't happen. And the fact that you had to work a 20-hour day, boo hoo. You know how many free 20-hour days I've worked on this podcast alone? Most of them. Most of them. And I'm still not half as famous as those people. That's the truth. Some of these people go on to live incredible lives of wealth and fame, because that's what, it's a

pipeline. It's a shortcut. You don't have to go to acting classes, you don't have to go to auditions, you don't have to wait tables while you're trying to, you know, do, who was it? Hone your craft. Yeah, you're going to hear this episode next week, but we had an interview with Wendy Covey McClendon, Wendy McClendon Covey, is that? Yes. Yeah, okay. Who is the blonde lady in Reno 911, she is the mother on the Goldbergs. She's so good.

She is in Big City Greens, you know. She was in The Girls, I'm sorry, I'm drawing a blank right now. She was in- Bridesmaids. Bridesmaids. Yes. Yes. She was Sergeant Clementine in Reno 911, you know her.

She's like a super legend of comedy shows. And you know what she said to us? That she just quit her day job, like, when she got the Goldbergs. That lady was on one of the most hilarious comedy shows when I was a kid, Reno 9-1-1, for years. And she just quit her day job when she got the Goldbergs, like well into her 30s or 40s. I don't know. And you know what? That's because it's really tough to be a famous person and just like head to the mainstream, but with reality shows, you can cut all that drama out and just go on reality show. And the trade off is, is that it's not going to be all that comfortable.

And the producers are going to manipulate your story and you could be a bad guy or you could be a good guy. It doesn't, you don't know because that's what you're signing up for. And if you don't know that, then you have been hiding in a cave like Osama bin Laden for the last 40 fucking years. I mean, I'm dead serious about this. Yeah. I'm all about protections and safety.

Like you can't be physically harmed during taping. But if you're doing a shower scene, a shower makeout scene. Yeah, if you're doing a shower makeout scene and the producers say, we want to film you doing a shower makeout scene and then somebody like touches your boob,

what did you think was gonna happen in a shower makeout scene? I mean, I don't know. I'm just like, maybe I'm being a little too... Yeah, I mean, it's one thing if she specifically said, here are my boundaries. And then those were crossed. But if it's just kind of like, oh, I got in the shower scene, that's actually not what I wanted.

Yeah, her argument was that, you know, she wasn't prepped accordingly for what was going to go on. But, you know, you fell in... Well, first of all, you two, you're burying somebody on that show, right? You're engaged! You're engaged! What did you think? I mean, I don't know. You agree to get engaged. Yes. Poor baby. 20 hour days and Cabo San Lucas and all-occlusive resort. I feel bad

for you. I don't actually feel bad for you. This is what you signed up for. And you know what? If you don't want that kind of notoriety, don't go on the show. Don't sign up for it. That's it. This one guy's complaining that, you know, he, you know, they manipulated my storyline. Of course they did. You're boring. They had to manipulate your storyline. You are boring as fuck. They had to manipulate your storyline. Blah, blah, blah. That's the way that it is. I just have, I mean, some of the stories that were told in the New Yorker, I found myself siding with the contestants of the reality show. I found

myself like, yeah, that probably shouldn't have been done to you. That producers are manipulating you to manipulate the conversation, right? I get that. That's a little shitty, but, you know, did you, when you go to bed with a snake, don't be upset when you get bit. You're going on a reality show. What makes Love is Blind any different than any other reality show? Because Nick Lachey says it's an, it's an earnest experiment. Nick Lachey spends three and a half minutes every year on Love is Blind, gets $500,000, doesn't give a shit about any of those contestants.

I guarantee you that's not what he's thinking about when he goes to bed at night. It's just not. Yeah, it's like the other show too, What if the Ultimatum? These people going on there. I don't even know how much of that is even real to begin with that they're actually a couple and going on a show to go sleep in a bed with another person. I know. And see if there's an ultimatum that happens. Yeah. Let's get a bunch of engaged couples together and see if they sleep with each other. Whoopty. And then be upset that

you're broke up afterwards. You were never going to stay together in the first place. Why? Because your husband ran to some other chick the second he got an opportunity to. Let's put him in the same room. On TV. On TV. Come on, guys. Come on.

Really? This is the way that it works. This is the shortcut to fame and fortune and all the money that you could ever want, but there are some trade-offs because when you dance with the devil, you're going to get burned. It's going to happen. Listen, I will never get another job in an actual industry that has any kind of respect for itself ever again. It's the trade-off that I made.

Me too. Yes, Chrissy's along with me. It was not even her fault, it's mine. But you know what? She said, well, I guess I got my wagon hitched to this asshole. I'm on the train now. You're on the train now. There's no stopping it. I don't think I'm giving a hot take here. I think I'm saying what probably most of us are thinking, which is you gave us seven, eight, 10 hours of entertainment. Thank you very much for the Love is Blind. But if you don't think that after season number one, and probably still during season number one, after season number one of Love is Blind, that anybody

after that was going on there for love and love only, then you are a nudnik. You're a nudnik. This is not an experiment. It's a reality show. They have to make it entertaining. How do they do that? They manipulate you to manipulate the storyline. If you don't want to be manipulated and you don't want your storyline manipulated, then do what everybody else does and start a YouTube channel. You can manipulate it all you want. Be Mr. Beast for all I care. I mean, come on, what's going on here? It doesn't make sense. Now, sexual assault, that's a different story altogether. Yeah, any kind of abuse. Producers should have been on that. They should have figured out how to keep...

There's one person in the article, and I'm not even going to say the names of these people, there's one person in the article who got attached to... Here's how it goes. She's an ultra wealthy, prim and proper human being who then marries the guy without a job, an apartment, or a credit score. And then... And complained about that. Surprise! Yeah. Surprise! He might or might not be a dangerous human being. Congratulations. But you picked him, and he was transparent about the fact that he did not have

a job. Now, the guy was an asshole. I don't like him. I don't think, you know, I think he probably was not a great dude. But guess what they did? They cut his storyline out entirely. They just like never showed the story at all, but from the article, and if you read it, you'll pick up on it. He apparently was not a very nice dude in the first place. So, in that sense, like, okay, you know, I guess, but the producers are going to put people in there to stir the pot. That's what they're going to do. This last season, they had two people, a woman and a man, and the man and woman had dated previously. You don't think the producers knew that? You don't think for a fucking second that they didn't do

the biggest deep dive research on all those people's lives that they ever have? They have entire law firms that do nothing but hunt down people's past lives. And they will go to your neighbor's house and your school and they'll pull your first grade fucking detention. Your permanent record. Your permanent record. It's on your permanent record. And they do that because they know exactly who they're getting and they know exactly

what they're expecting. They're expecting those two people to meet and that something's going to blow up and that's what happened. So guys and gals and anything in between, if you don't want your life exposed and manipulated like that, I've got an idea. Do not audition for a reality show. Just don't do it. If you want fortune and fame and you're willing to get dragged through the mud and take your kicks and, you know, jump through a few hoops, then go on a reality show.

It's a perfectly legitimate way at this point to get your bag. I guess is the best way to say it, to get your bag. Look at some of those bachelor and bachelorette contestants. Well, that's been talked about for years. They're super, super famous. Yeah, they've been talking about that show for years too, with all the alcohol they're supplying them. And you're in this fantasy land, you know, beautiful mansions and helicopter trips to the private islands. I mean, you know, of course that's not reality. No, no.

You think taking a private- Reality shows are not reality. Yeah. You think hopping on a private 747 to fly to Italy with 75 other guys who are trying to date one woman and then spend three weeks gallivanting around in limousines and high dollar restaurants is real life? No, it's not. Ask the guy who doesn't have a job or a place to live how things were after he left. And they didn't even show his story line, so he got no benefit. Neither did she, and apparently she's a very

sweet woman. So, I'm saying all of this to say there is no surprises in this article except to say that what's going on behind the scenes of reality is exactly what we all expected. It's highly manipulative, highly storyboarded, and people are working long days and long nights. But you know, And people can't get it in the audiences, can't get enough of it. And there's plenty of people out there that will, that can turn to sure to do it sure yeah listen there is literally an idiot born every second I've had 12 of them so I so I know I am one of them and

then I've had many offspring that are probably not on the bright side of the turnip truck but I will say this and I love them very much by the way I would say that so that when they're listening 15 years from now, they don't think I'm making fun of them. They're extremely bright. They are. One of them's too. They're all smarter than I am, I'll tell you that much. Yes. But there's an idiot born every second. I mean, if you want to go on a reality show, go. If you don't want to go, somebody else will take your place. I think people have this impression that

when they go on a reality show, they're going to be pampered and work three hours a day and, you know, fall in love and have all of the, all of the wonderfuls and none of the uglies. And that's just, that's not how any part of life works. Reality show or no reality show. Podcasting? Let me tell you, and we will tell the full story someday. We will share it with you someday. But I'm going gonna explain to you right now. It's the exact same thing

There's lots of wonderfuls about it But there's lots of ugly about it too and you got to take it you got to take your lumps when they come when they come It just that's it. That's what you got to do. I mean, it's like Instagram too. You have something that you I mean when I see A lot of these things on Instagram. I'm like, well, that's not every day. No. They're not showing the bumps and bruises of all that. You're just going to show the best parts and it's the same way with TV. Yeah.

If you want a highly shined version of your life to be out there in the world, be an Instagram model because that's, you have 100% control over what goes out there in the world. And you can go on your journey. Your journey, your spiritual journey. And do yoga poses. Look at my nipples. And now I see, there's guys too that do this too. Oh yeah. He's like working out his glutes with like super short shorts on, his 20-year-old taut

body. And he's like, the Buddha said to be or not to be. No, that's not what the Buddha said, but okay, I guess that's not the point of the video in the first place. I doubt half the people who watched it even read the caption, because that's not what they're in it for. They're in it for that hot, tight 20-year-old ass. And hey, listen, I have no argument about hot 20, if you got it, flaunt it. And flaunt it for that five years, you got it. Cause it'll go away just as quickly as it came. I promise you. I don't personally know that. I never had that kind of body, but you know, I had friends. I saw locker rooms. There

were some guys and I was like, fuck, why did I get this? And he got that. I remember being like 16 in a locker room and looked over at, you know, Joe Husky or whatever his name was, you know, core Chad quarterback, you know, of the football team. He's taking off his shirt, you know, hey, good job, boys, good job, boys, Brian, you'll do better next time, good job, boys. And here I am with my Irish belly and my tiny little nipples, and hair all over my chest and legs. And I was like, huh. He's literally shining and I've got, he's literally shining and I've got an afro on my chest. What happened, God?

What happened? God never explained it to me, by the way. Never explained it to me. So in case you didn't know about my stance on reality show stars, there you go. There we go. There it is. There we go.

It's been made. The gauntlet has been thrown. I welcome feedback. All right, we'll be back. Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB. And you can text us

anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at tcbpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are. I'm Tanks and Atra. And I'm Investigator Slater. And together we co-host a podcast called Psychopedia, which is a true crime podcast

infused with comedy, making it a crime-ity. a crime ID each week investigators later brings us a wild and thoroughly Researched true crime case. I'm here to digest it all and react just like you probably are right there on the other side of the microphone Somehow I've got to present each case with the detail and respect it deserves while also cracking up at tanks Perfectly timed humor and thought-provoking questions listen to and follow psychopedia on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. We talked about this, but it was an episode that we can't air because we never press record, but I wanted to share again. Again. I was about to say the same thing.

Did you hear about that New York to Dublin portal? I mean, you did, because I talked to you about it just two days ago. We forgot to press record. But the New York to Dublin portal was this, it's an art installation, for those of you who don't know. You can Google it. It's an art installation that was put down in Times Square and that was put in downtown Dublin.

And basically, it looks like a big, I don't know, cloud or something, or a rock or a cloud is shaped like something, I don't know. And then it, or a rock or a cloud is shaped like something, I don't know. And then it's got a big circular video screen in the middle of it, huge, like, you know, maybe 20 feet in diameter. And there is a camera implanted into that art installation, and it's live from each end. So when you're in New York, you can see the people in Dublin, and when you're in Dublin, you can see the people in New York.

Such a cool concept. It is such a cool concept, but we can't have nice things because we are fucking nudniks. We're morons, all of us. We're all reality show stars in our own right, or we want to be. And by the way, just to piggyback on, piggy front off what I said earlier, I know we all want to be reality show stars. I know it. I got it.

I know. I understand. You don't? I do not. Well, one day you did want to be. At some point you wanted to be. Now you're just wiser. I still want to be a reality show star. Bachelor, call me up. Could you imagine me on the Bachelor out there? I'd be gone the first night. Folks, we have one more rose left. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me,

me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me,

me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, touch, now they're, I don't know what you call that, dating. They're pen pals? Yeah, they're pen pals. That they're sending postcards back and forth. But as all things, it just turns to shit within a couple of weeks because now people are mooning each other, they're flat. There was an OnlyFans star who flashed the people in Dublin, and then people were putting like, you know, swastikas. They were bringing Nazi flags and showing them on each side. What in the good fuck? I mean, I get it.

You know, it's a new toy, and we all want to play with it until it's broken. But the truth is, do we have to go there? Do we have to go there? Do we have to go that far? No. I mean, I don't know under what roof a Nazi flag is okay, but your parents raised you like a fucking animal. Honestly. What are you doing? I mean, I don't know under what roof a Nazi flag is okay, but your parents raised you like a fucking animal, honestly.

What are you doing? Why are we flashing Nazi? The tits, I'm not saying it's the best thing in the world, but let's say it's late at night, you know, 1.30 in the morning and you're in Times Square after a long night of drinking. Somebody gets a boob. Yeah, you're just having, someone gets a set of tits.

Oh, okay, you know, that's fun. But if you're doing like a full jerking off session in front of me, that's not cool. It's not cool. Yeah, or peeing or defecating or whatever it is you're deciding to do that you think is, you know, it's going to be so funny if people on Twitter. It's not funny. It was never interesting and certainly not your Nazi fucking salute. That's crazy. That's insane.

Why are we doing this? I don't understand. And certainly not your Nazi fucking salute. That's crazy. That's insane. Why are we doing this? I don't understand. I was a teenager once and I was a hell raising teenager. I did so many bad things. And sometimes good people got hurt because of it. And I'm really apologetic for that. But I never took it that far.

I was never running around like drawing swastikas on someone's front lawn. It's just ridiculous. Stop it already. Stop it already with all the hate. You know, flashing your tits. I know that's going to be, some people would show that a sign of, it's a term of endearment. It's a sign of affection, right? I'm just showing you my lovely boobs. Okay. I can understand that. It's still not, you know, still going to get the thing shut down. But at the end of the day, it's a harmless pair of boobs. And by the way, in Ireland, you can watch Dating Naked 24 hours a day on the regular cable station. So I don't think the people

in Dublin are really all that shocked by your boobs. I'm just sharing that with you. But it's all the hate symbology and all that other shit that people, where were they raised? In what farm, in what cow dung patty were they raised at that they feel like that is something that's at all interesting, at all? And I don't get it. I don't get what is shock value. Is that what it is? It's shock value? Well, guess what, guys? It's not all that shocking. That symbol's been around for a long time. The symbol of hate and disrespect, and quite frankly, I just don't understand. So here's the bottom line. It's shut down now because we can't have nice things and everybody's an asshole. And I'm really disappointed because I thought it was

... I watched a... Somebody was filming it live from YouTube, and so they had two hours of it on live, and I was watching it one night when it first opened up, and I was a, somebody was filming it live from YouTube. And so they had like two hours of it on live. And I was watching it one night when it first opened up and I was like, oh, that's cool. Look at those people. They're all, you know, everyone's hanging out and waving to each other. Portable into the other city. Portable into the other city.

You know, portal into this studio is what we should, oh, that's a good idea. I didn't even think about this. Let's put that in the notebook. We should keep this camera on live. You know what I thought about doing one time? Going on TikTok live and then just putting a camera somewhere here in the studio and they could watch me as I talk to myself and obsessively edit our show over and over again. Yes. But I actually just tried to go live one time and Instagram cut me off. They like

said, nope, you're not allowed to go live. And I thought to myself, why? Really? Yes. And I even contacted them. I said, why can't I go live? And they were like, oh, sorry, I can't help you at this time. I was like, why? What happened? Astrid got kicked off of Instagram. She never even made a post. Oh. She was like, you've been banned from TikTok. And what'd she do? She didn't do anything.

She's associated with the commercial break. I think that's what it is. That's right. That's hate right there. That's hate talk, hate speech right there. What are you doing? What are you thinking? Maybe you can do it on YouTube.

Can you do YouTube live? I'm sure I can. We did it one time. People have been doing it for years. We did do it. On accident. Yeah, that's true. We used to have a button on this machine

and if you pressed it, it would go to YouTube Live. The guy who helped us set up the studio did that because he said, oh, someday you wanna go live and so I'll connect it to your thing and then you just press this button and go. And then there was like four or five different times when Chrissy and I would get off air and then there'd be a message on our YouTube,

like the commercial break is live. I'd look at my phone and it would have said, you know, one hour before, TCB is live now. Going live now. I was like, shit, are we just live? We had like two people watching. We still have like two people. I don't know who I'm talking to about the reality show stuff.

It's like we have six listeners. None of which probably have any interest in Love is blind. I'm sure of it. Hey, speaking of over there across the pond, I read an interesting, like, research paper, and the research paper was done on dads in Spain. New dads in Spain get quite a bit of paternity time, not like here in the United States where it's like you get one week paternity time, but I think some people in the United, I think whoever's making those rules may understand what Spain is now figuring out. So Spain for a long time has had this paternity law and you can take off almost as much paternity time as you can take maternity leave, right? Like six weeks or something? It's something like that,

six or eight weeks. It's a long time, but of course these, this is coming from the same country that has a three month long vacation in the middle of summer. I mean, they really do it right over there. They do. Now, of course you have to pay 90% taxes middle of summer. I mean, they really do it right over there. They do. Of course, you have to pay 90% taxes. But you know, again, life is about trade off kids. There's good and there's bad. This is what I'm trying to tell you. It's never black and white. It's never all good. It's never all bad. So, they did this study, they did this survey and they asked recently, parents, dads who had come back recently from paternity leave, they asked them,

would you like to have more paternity leave on your next child or would you have preferred to have less paternity leave? And every dad, almost every dad, like 79% of them said, I wish I had taken no paternity leave and I am happy to be back. I'm sure a new baby is no joke. Yes. And a follow up to that, none of them had taken additional days off since they had gotten back to paternity leave. They were all back at work immediately and never missed another day. And I thought that is so telling. It is really fucking tough to raise children. Yes, it is.

And just a sampling of it. It's like when Astrid went to Miami. I mean, just a sample of what it takes to raise those children. I'm telling you, women are built differently. Y'all are just built differently in so many ways, so many great and wonderful ways. And this is one of them. You're able to keep it fucking together. I lost it. I just had, I had 10 hours, that was it. 10 hours, and I lost my fucking shit. I sympathize, and I empathize with these guys

who are answering these questions, because it's true. It's like, wow, that was really tough. And I'm glad to be at work, where I can, you know, fuck off and read Twitter while my boss is not looking. When I didn't have kids, playing hooky from work was my favorite thing to do. We loved it, Chrissy. I don't think there was one day for like a year where we made it past two o'clock in the afternoon

before we were going to quote unquote visit clients. Visit clients right across the street at the bar. The Mexican place. I know. I was so surprised we never got busted more for just walking over to lunch and never coming back. I think somebody said something one time and laughed about it. I think one time the market president came to me and he said, I got this, you know, you submitted a receipt for Central City Tavern, which was like the local

bar across the street. Oh, that was our spot. Yeah. And he said, you have a receipt for Central City Tavern for like 150 bucks. And he's like, now, I don't want to discourage you from using your account, your expense account, but you wrote meeting with Hoadley on it. And he's like, where do you spend $150? We're talking internet things. Yeah, internet, the interwebs. We're going to make money on the interwebs. I am strategizing with Chrissy Hoadley about how best to get cocaine.

If that's not important, I don't know what is. Chrissy and I are over here burning up our own phones. Yeah, but you know, paternities, being a father, and this is why I say this and I'll say it forever until the day that I die. I have mad fucking respect for single parents. Mad fucking respect. Me too. Me too.

I don't care who you are. I don't care. I don't care what else you do in life. I don't care if you're a fucking serial killer at night. If you're a single parent during the day, God bless America, because you are a super hero. Super here. What did I say? Super here. I feel like I'm Trump or Biden just taking a nap halfway through a sentence. You are a superhero.

It takes a lot to raise a child. And if you do it on your own, spaghetti and meat sauce for you, my friend. Spaghetti and extra meat sauce, because that's the real fucking job. Yeah, you got no relief. I'd say this, you know, this is like trite and it's, I guess it's just something that's said in passing a lot. You know, oh, you're the one who brings home the money, and then you say back, oh no, but taking care of the kids is a real job too.

You know, you say that, it's the fucking truth. I say that with all sincerity. That's the real fucking job. The real fucking job is not coming in here and talking on the mic. This was never a real job in the first. This is about as real of a job as love is blind as a real job. You know what I'm saying? But a real job is taken care of. It's 24 hours a day.

Yes. Seven days a week. It is. You know how many nights, you know how many mornings I wake up and I, you know, birds are chirping and tweeting. Is that your morning ring or your? And I wake up, you know, whatever time it is, I wake up and I'm like, oh God, I really didn't sleep all that good.

I tossed and turned a little bit at 3 a.m. Wow, this really sucks to get up. And then I get up and Astrid's like wrangling 13 children. She's been up for three hours. She's been up for seven hours. And I'm like, hey, how was your night? She always says, how'd you sleep? And I was like, oh, you know, okay,

I tossed and turned a little bit, I don't know. Maybe I'm just a little, it's that pillow, I can't get that pillow comfortable. That's that fucking pillow. Pillows are important. That I refuse to change is 40% dust mites and... I know. It is uncomfortable six of the seven nights a week.

But I'll do this little complaining thing that I do, you know, I don't know, I'm feeling on my neck and my back and how's your night? I'll let the baby wake up at 3.30 in the morning. Oh, how long was she up for? Till now. And I don't even know. I don't even know. I just slept through the whole thing.

It's fucking insane. And I'm like, aren't you tired? And she's like, I'm fine. No, no. There's some kind of like reserve energy, I think that mothers have that's like, it kicks in to where you've got to just be on at all times. Yeah. Well, I've said this before. There is a tank. When I had one kid, I thought there was no way that tank had any more energy left in it. But I didn't realize until I had my second kid that

that tank was actually a little deeper than I thought. And then the third, and then, and then, and then, like, eventually you realize that the tank is endless when you realize you literally have to keep these things breathing. You have to teach them how to breathe. That's what you have to do. They don't come with handbooks. I've said this before. You have to keep them alive. Yeah, there is no software to start. And flourishing. And flourishing. Nourished.

Yeah, feed them, make sure they don't fall down the stairs. Please don't play with that knife. Electric sockets are not for licking. There's a bunch of stuff that you have to teach them that they don't already know. And it's fucking exhausting. Fucking exhausting. Why? Why? Yeah, that's it. One of my kids is going through that stage for like three years now. Why? Why? Where? When? How? What? We? Why? Sometimes I have to be like, son, take a breath. I don't know. I just, I don't know all of it. You have this vision when you are going to be a parent, and I'm sure this will resonate with a lot of people out there who are either parents or have seen parents. You have this vision that you're going to be omniscient, all-knowing,

God-like creature to your kids, and you're going to be the parents that know everything, teach them everything. You will understand when they get to be three and they start the why phase that you give up on that notion real fucking quick because you actually don't want to know anything. Why? I don't know. Why? Because I just don't. I don't know everything. I'm not God. I don't want to be. I don't know. I don't know why Walt Disney made Steamboat Willie before he made Mickey. I just don't know, son. I don't know. It's just the way it was. That's what God decided. That's it. That's what God decided. Yeah. Now we believe in God and that's what God decided. Muhammad, Jesus, Buddha, whoever, whatever, he decided, not me, ask him. Write him a letter. What's his address? I don't know!

I know, the questions are crazy. Thank goodness for Google though, in a lot of instances. Yeah, but you can't let them loose on Google. And you think I'm going to be taking the time to Google every why? Fuck that! Fuck that! I already spent enough time on the internet as it is. I'm not going to spend that additional time. Well, I don't know, let me look it up. Let me kill 14 people on the highway so I can figure out

why Universal Pictures didn't make, you know, Buddy Buddy 2. Hold on one second. Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh! Maybe you need a notebook. Tell the kids to put it in the notebook. That's what I should do. I should have a notebook for the kids.

Every question I can't answer. Yeah, just say, write it down and then we'll take time at the end of the day to kind of go through these. Yes. I think if life was fair, if life was fair. That's what I'm saying. I think if life was fair, if life was fair. That's what I'm saying.

I think if life was fair, if life was fair. That's what I'm saying. I think if life was fair, if life was fair. That's what I'm saying. I think if life was fair, if life was fair. That's what I'm saying. I can't answer. Yeah, just say, write it down and then we'll take time at the end of the day to kind of go through these. Yes. I think if life was fair, if life was fair. And they won't remember. Yeah, and then they're never going to remember.

That's the thing. I feel good sometimes about just saying, I don't know. First of all, I don't know. And I'm sorry, I don't know everything. That's the truth. And second of all, you're not going to remember if I know or if I don't know. So if I say, I don't know, what does it really matter? You just move on to the next slide.

Exactly. Yeah. Eventually you'll get one I do know. And if, depending on my mood, I'll answer it or I won't answer it. Here's a follow-up to the paternity leave thing. I think in Spain and in the United States, fathers should have paternity leave one month a year. One month a year, they should have to go home and take care of their children. It'll remind us, it'll remind us of how difficult that job really is and how much mad respect

you should give to the love of your life, the female who is taking care of your children if it's a new killer family or your husband, husbands and husbands or whatever the, whatever situation you got going on, whoever's taking care of the children in a more than one single relationship. got going on, whoever's taking care of the children in a more than one single relationship, you should have to spend one month at home with your children and make that month a summer month because that's when shit really hits the fan. School's out. Yeah.

I used to love, I couldn't wait until school was out. Things were wild. Yes. Now I'm starting to turn a little bit on summer. Now I see. You have to plan. I mean, you have got to plan with all the activities and the things to do to keep...

I thought I was paying a lot of money for the kids to go to school. Now they're out of school. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, you kids are expensive. Got to take a library and six flags, a dinosaur exhibit and all this other stuff. But it's just so that we don't have to listen to why 24 hours a day. It's a whole fucking thing. I'm telling you. All right. Let's take a break and we'll be back. What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and TC video. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking

but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3TCB. Once more for the people in the back, that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. Oh, I just realized that I had the microphones open the whole time we were in that break. So I hope you didn't hear me cussing you out. No, I'm kidding. I like that power jazz ballad that she's got.

I do too. We always do a little dance. Yeah, we do a little dance. We didn't say anything. Luckily, we didn't have any conversation in between about our rude listeners and how much we dislike them. No, I'm kidding. So, you don't know, and now you'll know. Or maybe I mentioned it at the end of last episode, but I got a tooth problem, Chrissy. I got a bad tooth problem. I got a fussy tooth. It's been going on for a year, maybe some change. I got this tooth, and this tooth had a cavity in it 10 years ago, and I got the cavity filled. And then about a year ago, I started experiencing some pain because the cavity filling started to come loose. You

know, it was one of those where they just pour hot molten lava in your mouth and wait for it to cool down. You know, one of those old ones that's silver that you could see a mile away when you open your mouth, it's like, ah! They still do that? Well, 10 years ago, or whenever I got it filled, maybe it was longer than that, maybe it was 20 years ago, I don't know. But I got Irish teeth, so they're never going to fall out of my head naturally. It's not like they're going to come out. They're roots up into my brain, but they're Irish teeth, so they're just bad in general, you know? Irish aren't known for

their teeth. That's not what we're known for. What are we known for? Being drunk? St. Patrick's Day? Potatoes? Yeah, something like that. I actually loved Ireland when I went there. Beautiful country. The Blarney Stone. Guinness. Guinness. That Guinness factory is a whole city. You should go. I've heard. All right. So, I have this tooth. It starts bothering me about a year, year and a half ago,

and I reluctantly go to the dentist and she's like, gotta get a root canal. There's an infection in there, we just gotta dig it out, right? You're not gonna be able to just patch it up. You gotta just go the full Monte. So, this root canal is three separate trips with three different drillings into my head because I have roots that are a mile and a half long. Literally, my hair is leaving my head because the roots of my teeth are taking over. Or they're going up into there. Yes, they're going up into there and they're killing all the hair. It's unbelievable.

Every time that I've had to have a root canal, it's not one trip. It's not an hour in the dentist and then go home. It is hours in the dentist's chair. It is going back time after time because they can't finish it because they need longer drills and all this other stuff. It's a miserable experience. I'm not even kidding. It's happened now three times. I've had three root canals in my life and all three times it was at least three trips to the dentist. At least. Because my roots are so long and weird and twisty into my fucking sinuses that they have to go and get longer drills.

And they're not really drills. If you've ever had a root canal, you know what I'm talking about. It's like a long pin-like structure. I don't know. And it flexes. Thank goodness. I know, don't ever get a root canal. Just say, take the tooth out.

And then it gets infected. You know, it's a whole thing. Like, you know, somebody's got your tooth open for two hours, you're going to get an infection, you got to take antibiotics, antibiotics make you feel sick. It's a whole thing. So, I suffered in pain for like three months after the root canal was completed. After the three trips to the dentist, I was still in pain for like three months. And I go back to the dentist, she sends me to a specialist, and the specialist says, hey, listen, sometimes these teeth are just notoriously fussy. You got really long roots. I see a hairline fracture in one of those roots. Sometimes those hairline fractures never quite heal themselves. And, you know, there's just nothing we can do about it.

You either live with the pain and hope that it doesn't get massively infected, or you can take it out of your head. God, this is a nightmare. It's a whole nightmare. So I said, okay, she goes, listen, but there's also the reality that the actual socket it sits in may be inflamed and it just might be causing additional pain, might take a while for that inflammation to go away, maybe months.

And I said, okay, let's writhe it out. So I writhe it out through Christmas, I writhe it out. Through Christmas, it finally starts feeling better in January. Then about three weeks ago, I get a sinus infection because of allergies. And when I got that sinus infection, that tooth set on fire. I mean, when I walked, just the act of walking would cause pain in that tooth. And so, I'm like, okay, there's probably something going on here and I need to go see the dentist because I do know one thing about dentistry. I'm now religious about cleaning my teeth.

I'm religious. I go through four times a year to get my teeth cleaned. I floss twice. I mean, I'm just so obsessive about it. And so I do know one thing about teeth. They can kill you. You can get an infection. It can go into your brain or your sinuses and it can be a really big deal. So you have to get it addressed. You can't just let tooth pain go on forever.

Yeah. And it doesn't go away. No, it doesn't go away on its own. I mean, I don't think so. I've heard nightmare stories and I don't want to be one of those nightmares. As if the three trip root canal wasn't enough, I don't want to be in a hospitalized because my sinus is turning black. I got the black lung of the enough. I don't want to be in a hospitalised because my sinus is turning black. I got the black lung of the sinus. I got black sinus because of my fucking tooth. So I'm like, okay, let's get over to that specialist and see what's doing. And so I go over there and she's like this Russian lady, right? And she's like, oh, this is really bad, Brian. You need to get this taken care of right now. You're going to get, I see you,

the root is in your sinus. Your sinus is inflamed. I'm going to have to do a bone graft. I'm going to… Ah! She's talking about all this stuff and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, settle down. I thought like maybe you just give me some antibiotics and we call it a day. And she's like, you got to take that tooth out. This is not doing good. And I was like, oh, fuck, I got to take the tooth out? No! And I say, okay. Don't you just want it to be out now at this point and done?

Kind of, but here's what is really making me reluctant to go get this done, and I'll explain. I've only had one, I've had my wisdom teeth pulled. Yes. And then I had another tooth way in the back of my head pulled. I had like an extra tooth, and it also was a problematic tooth that I had multiple root canals on and after a while I was just in so much pain. I was like, take it out. That's extra.

Yeah, it's extra. I don't need it. Why? You can't see it. It's all the way in the back of my mouth. What do I care? It's going to take me a couple of months to get used to chewing without that tooth, but I'll figure it out. So, I go to an oral surgeon who's an expert at doing this kind of thing. But the oral surgeon, because there is no such thing as dental insurance, I don't care if your company says they have it, they don't have it, it doesn't exist. Dental insurance is a mirage. It's a mirage.

You get a free cleaning once every three and a half years and maybe laughing gas if you're lucky and that's it. Yeah, you have to pay. You have to pay. And so, I go to the oral surgeon and at that time, my father paid for that tooth to come out of my head because it was causing me so much pain. This was like years and years and years and years ago. I go to the oral surgeon, and he put me to sleep during the procedure. He put me in, they call it twilight, which is pro-papal. That's what that Michael Jackson used to suck down. You know that Michael Jackson, the one

who was, hee hee, I'm sorry, I just did, I feel a little kid, I'm sorry. I remember. It's a mistake, it's all just a mistake, it's just a misunderstanding. So that propofol put me to sleep. I don't remember a fucking thing until I woke up. Good. Yeah, good. Great.

Wonderful. Couple days of recovery, real bad, you know, headache and sinus pain and all this other stuff, but it eventually got better and I learned to chew without that tooth. I asked about an implant, and even the oral surgeon was like, you got an extra tooth, you really don't need an implant back there. Like, it's just gonna, it's probably gonna push all your other teeth forward. And I'm like, since I have Irish teeth, let me not fuck with them anymore. So I said to myself, okay, I'll get it done. And she, and I go, do I need to go to an oral surgeon? She goes, well, you can, but just the imaging alone is probably gonna be like $750. And I'm like, an oral surgeon? She goes, well, you can, but just the imaging alone is probably going to be like $750.

And I'm like, really? And she's like, well, the oral surgeon really deals with complicated situations. And she's like, you can certainly go there. I'm not telling you not to, but I'm just sharing with you that that's all said and done. It's going to be like five grand. And I was like, five fucking grand? And she's like, yep, they're going to put you to sleep. They got all kinds of medications.

They have to have a specialized doctor and a nurse to watch you while you're asleep. Plus, they're working in your mouth. They have to make sure nothing goes down your throat. It sounded like… The whole thing. It sounded very, like, weird and complicated. I didn't realize way back then that this is what was going on. So she says, but I can probably do it for like $1,200 or $1,500. I might have to do a bone graft. If I have to do that, it would be on the more expensive end. If I don't, it'll be on the lesser end. I'll take that tooth out. I'll get it prepped for an implant because this one's like, it's not the last tooth in my head. And I'm like,

okay, fine. But what are you going to do? You're going to put me to sleep? And she goes, oh, no, no, no, no, no. You don't have to be put to sleep. It's fine. I promise you, it's not that big of a deal. Fuck you. Fuck you. If you don't think for a second that it's not a big deal to have an adult sized tooth cracked out of your head when you can't even find drills long enough to cover my roots, you are insane. She's literally got a picture up on that big screen that sits right above your head, you know, when I sit you back. She's literally showing me my tooth where the tooth is going through my sinus cavity. The root is in my sinus cavity. And she's like, don't worry about it. I might perforate your sinus cavity, but I'll put a bone graft there, a little piece of fuzz or something. And I'm like, and you want me

to be awake during this? What are you going to do? I don't know, picturing her too, like, you know, pulling it with a wrench or something and popping up. That's what they do. They have a specialized wrench and they start cracking it until it comes out. My twin brother had his wisdom teeth pulled while he was awake. While he was awake. And the thing that he can never forget that he always says, that he always tells me, and that's why I won't call him and tell him I have to have this tooth pulled out because tell me the story again, is when the dentist put a knee on his chest to pull out one of

his teeth. Oh my God. It's fucked up, man. Fucked up, dude. I can't take it. I'm getting chills just talking about it. So I now have to go get this tooth pulled out without anesthesia, without general anesthesia or twilight, because my doctor promises me that everything's going to be just

fine. But that is cold comfort to a guy who has heard repeatedly and known repeatedly that I have roots that are stuck in my skull and he's going to, she's going to have to find a way to yank it out. She's a lovely lady, but she ain't that big. She's like a little like, hey, she weighs like 30 pounds, sopping wet. How's she going to pull that thing out of my head? Chrissy, I'm scared shitless. I would be too. I'm sorry. Fuck birth. Good luck. You know, I heard that birth is scary, but fuck that. You know what's really scary? Getting

your tooth pulled on your head while you're awake. I don't want to hear any more complaining about natural birth from anyone. Because my teeth is going to have to come out and it's going to have to come out while I'm awake. So I said, you don't put me awake? You don't put me to sleep? I'm going to be awake? And she goes, listen, trust me, now the nurse is trying to convince me. So now I've got three women in there, you know, the nurse, the lady from the front desk, and you know, who's showing me the bill, you know, this is what it's going to cost, and the doctor, and they're all trying to convince me that I'm just being a big baby. They're like,

don't worry about it. It's fine. You're not going to feel the thing. We're going to dope you up with novocaine. We have laughing gas. So, I just turned to her. I turned to the dentist and I say, can you turn the laughing gas up as high as possible? And she goes, I don't actually think I can use that terminology, get you as high as possible. She goes, but I can promise you that I'll give you enough laughs, yeah, we'll go, she goes, I'll give you enough laughing gas that you won't feel like you're here. And I was like, okay, if you can assure me that, you know,

the normal mix is 20 80, 20% nitrous, 80% oxygen. And then sometimes they go to 30% for what, you know, if you're like me, way used to drugs. And extreme tolerance. Yeah. And so if you could promise me that you're going to give me like the 50-50 mix. Remember when I went and got my vasectomy and I was just so up and down on the nitrous. He left me alone in the room and I was just like, That's right. He came back. He was like, Whoa, slow, slow.

He told me to breathe hard. It was like, you don't have to take that. Don't breathe like that. You're going to be fine. It's going to work either way. Actually, if you slow down, it'll work better. If you could promise me that then, uh, I guess I'll go with you guys. Meanwhile, I don't have five fucking extra thousand dollars laying around to go to an oral surgeon anyway.

So I'm like, I guess this is what I'm gonna have to do. Yeah, that's your option. So if for the next three weeks, you hear repeats of the commercial break, it's because Brian is crying in his bedroom about the nightmare. With your bad pillow. Oh my God, with that bad pillow.

Maybe now it's time to get a good pillow. I think so. I don't think it's gonna make a lick of difference, but I was literally up last night tossing and turning about my tooth. Yeah, it's a big deal. Ah! Yeah.

It hurts right now. I kind of do want to get it taken out at this point. I kind of do. I would too. Yeah, just be done with it. You know, I went to them and then they gave me that, they gave me some kind of antibiotic, strong antibiotic. Like she's like, you need, we need to give you a really strong antibiotic to knock any sinus infection or

whatever's going on in that sinus. And then also to cover the procedure. We want to make sure that you have plenty of antibiotics in your blood. She gave it to me. I took one of those pills yesterday morning and I had the worst kind of seasickness I've ever had. It was awful. You were a little loopy.

Yeah, it lasted into the night. It was crazy. It's awful. You know, I used to do an eight ball, take six Vicodin and 12 Bud Light. And be fine. And go to Kroger and do my weekly shopping. And I was fine. Now I take one Amoxicillin and I have to stay in bed for three days. What happened to me? I'm such a lightweight. I gotta get back to drugs and alcohol. That'll fix everything. I think we said we were gonna do that once we get old. Yeah, I think I'm there.

Once you start getting teeth pulled, I'm pretty sure that you're old enough to go back to drugs. Clean your teeth, kids. Clean your teeth. That's all I gotta say. got to say. Don't let anybody dissuade you from making sure those teeth are nice and clean. There's one fucking small cavity that's causing all this drama 20 years later. It's fucking insane. It's crazy. Sorry to hear about that. Well, thank you. We'll see if I show up for work tomorrow.

We'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted. Of course I will. Of course. But if you do hear a repeat, you'll know why. Just being, just giving you a warning. All right, we want to hear from you. We'd love you to be on the show. Dial up 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.

Text us questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, or if you want to be on the show, let us know what you want to talk about. Ask us a question. Text the Quantum Witch. to all the audio, all the video and your free sticker on the contact us button. Give us your address youtube.com slash commercial break for the guest interviews and selected shows. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so, but I love you and I love you best. You best to you best to my dentist. Have a good day until next time. Chrissy and I always say what we do say, and we must say, goodbye! Thanks for watching!