The Commercial Break - Sweet, Sweet "Justice"

Episode Date: May 17, 2024

We're out here in these streets, and everybody is wilding! There's chaos in the air, and Bryan is breathing in deep! Maycember Bus drivers of yore Everyone's an asshole on these streets Bryan prays for “justice” Marv Dong Mcgillicuddy Bobbleboners! Watching hentai at the baseball game Pitch clock People getting punched in New York The New York-Dublin portal Horrifying Whole Foods story The violence against women is never ending LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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on the lush grasslands of Croydon. As the humble tortoise gently mounts his chosen mate. And in a dance as old as time itself, it rears its head and emits the mighty mating call. The K-Mating Call. On this episode of The Commercial Break. When that kind of shit happens, I just pray for justice some way. I pray that I come up on an accident, like all of a sudden we're in stop and go traffic, I come up on an accident and that guy is on the side of the road with, you know, his leg sticking up and sticking through his anus or something.

I mean, I'm serious. I don't know where this monster comes from, but I have a monster. That guy is on the side of the road with his leg sticking up and sticking through his anus or something. Thank God. I mean, I'm serious. I don't know where this monster comes from, but I have a monster. I'm like praying for someone else's dismemberment. I'm like, I fucking hope he flipped that truck 75 times. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. It's so dirty in the morning! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial

break, I'm Brian Green and this is my dear friend and the co-host of this incredibly mediocre podcast, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us, hanging out here on a lovely, what is it, Friday afternoon?

I'm not even sure what day it is. I don't know what day it is either. I don't know either, who fucking knows? It's a revolving travel tour for me lately. So I'm like. And it's, you know, they have this term that they use some moms and teachers and stuff. They use it, call it May-Sembor.

May-Sembor? Yeah, because May seems like the second busiest month of the year behind December with Christmas and all the jazz. You know, that thing about Jesus being born and shit like that. And who determined his birthday was on December 25th? Did they have a calendar back then? Like, December 25th? I mean, I know the Romans were using calendars long before Jesus apparently appeared. Yeah, isn't there, there's like the Augustine or something calendar, there's a couple different calendars. Yes, the St. Augustine calendar, which is where nobody keeps track because we're all

at the beach drinking ourselves. But anyway, May-Sember is in full effect because the kids are getting out of school and there's just a lot of things to attend to, right? They have field day, graduations, and the traffic is crazy on the streets because everybody's running from here to there. But I look forward to the summertime when the traffic dies down a little bit because there's no school. Those fucking buses, I'm telling you right now, I dislike school buses with a passion. And it's not because I don't like the kids that are inside of those school buses, although

I don't like those kids that are inside of the school buses, because they're always giving me like, if I'm behind them, there's always some smart ass kid like, hey, fuck you. I'm like, where did like, hey, fuck you. I'm like, where did you, who, did you live in a barn? Who raised you? Who raised you? Anybody who's at the back of the bus is bound to cause trouble. And how do I know this?

Because I was at the back of the bus, the one year that I took the bus. And I remember that that bus driver on multiple occasions stopped the bus. It was back in the time when kids weren't bringing AK-47s to school and bus drivers had some authority. That bus driver, she was mean as a witch. I had Herb and he was mean. Yeah, I forgot her name. Oh man. What would Herb do? Oh, he'd yell.

Shut up! Sit down! Yeah. I mean, he was just a dictator, which, you know, looking back makes sense. Yeah, it does. I mean, there's only one way to rule that roost, and it's just to fucking get control. Right. It's like an army lieutenant. You just have to have total control from the moment. You can't have chaos. You can't show weakness. Do not look at the tits of the sphinx. I'm telling you right now,

they will open up and they will shoot lasers out of their eyeballs and kill you. You can't let those little nightmares take over. No, because I mean, it'll be, like I said, chaos. Kids running around, back of the bus, the front of the bus, to this, that, the other, shooting paper straws, I don't know. Listen, I tried to, you know, go with the easy going philosophy with Blue and look how she turned out. So, no, no with the children. I mean, I am the fun guy. Astrid always says I'm the fun guy. Like, you know, she has to tell the kids what to do all day and sit down and shut up and don't do this and stop doing that.

And then you come out of the studio. And I come in and I'm like, hey, let's play! Kids! Da-da! So, that bus driver though, I remember a number of different occasions pulling over to the side because there was one kid, Eric, I won't say his last name, but I still remember him to this day. And fucking Eric was a terror on feet. He was like Satan incarnate. He would cut holes in the back of the seat. Oh yeah, I remember those tall seats. Yeah. With no seat belts. I mean, what was anybody thinking back then? I don't even think they still have seat belts on school buses because they figure you're dead anyway. They had

the tall seats. That's why they had them. I guess if you slam, you would just slam into the seat. Yeah, but all they were was a piece of pleather with these iron bars in them. If you hit that seat, you were going to hurt. And Eric, he would trip people and grab their bags and take their hats off their head and flick people off while he's driving down the road. I mean, this kid was a redhead and he really gave, he really lived up to the stereotype. You know what I'm saying? He went all in redhead. I get it.

You're angry. You're a redhead. You got right to be angry. You didn't choose that. It just came to you. But Eric got us stopped multiple times and that bus driver would come back and she was big and burly and nasty. I think she had a mustache and she'd be like, you don't sit down, Eric. I'm going to, you're

going to stay right here until you sit down. And we were all like, Oh man, it's a stand off. Eric. Eric. And I remember one time it got stopped in my neighborhood, like, you know, half a mile from my stop. And this went on for like a half an hour. Eric and the bus driver were just at an impasse. And I don't know what was going on. Some kind of negotiation was going on, like hostage negotiation was going on between Eric and the bus driver. And she was like, I'm going to call your parents. You never. And he's like, go ahead, call my parents. They don't give a shit. And I'm like, Oh God, he said shit. And half an hour, I think in my brain, it felt like a half an hour. And then finally I just

raised my hand and I was... Can I get off? Yeah, I go, can I get off because I can walk home? And Eric turns around and he goes, now I'm getting off this bus! And I was like, uh-oh. Wow. I sat right back down. I wonder what happened to Eric. Eric's probably in jail. That's probably where Eric is. Eric is dead or in jail.

I don't think you just turn around and make a turnaround. From that. Yeah. If you're 12 and causing 50 people on a bus, a nightmare because you just decided to be a shithead that day, it's not like you wake up one day and you're, you know, I don't know. I think it'll be nice. You're not Mother Teresa when you turn 21. It's just a life of misery. I don't think Eric had a great home, so I think he had. He actually lived down the street from me. And I'll

tell you something about Eric. When we moved into this house here in Atlanta, my dad built the house, he had gotten a job. We stayed in an apartment for like the first two months, then we moved to this brand new house that he had built. And the house was in, like, Atlanta blew up really around the 96 Olympics, and we moved here before the 96 Olympics. So we're pretty, we're in a, like, a nice suburb, but it wasn't as populated as it is now. And so the area around us, there was a neighborhood behind my house, another neighborhood, but then there was this dirt road on the side of our house and that dirt road ran about a mile back to a house on a creek, like a beautiful house on a creek, but it was a dirt road and it had do not enter, private property on it. It said that dirt road sat right next to us. So, in the exploration of

my new neighborhood one day, I'm on my bike and I'm riding around and I'm like, let me go give a gander to what's going on up on that trail. You know, I'm a kid, I don't know. I'm just want to find out. I would have done it too. Yeah, it was like pretending I was a BMX superstar or something, I don't know. It's fun to go and explore. Kicking jumps and all this.

I barely knew how to ride a bike anyway. So I take my little BMX and I go and I decide just to go down the path a little bit. And as I get, it was kind of this dirt road that went up and took a left-hand turn down toward the house that was way back in the woods. So, but it was downhill. So, I took the turn and then I'm going downhill. Where was the creek?

The creek was, the creek literally ran in, The creek? The creek, the creek ran literally the length of the neighborhood, but they had the house built, like, like one of those beautiful houses just sits on a ledge on rocks over this beautiful creek. It was gorgeous. So, I take this left-hand turn, I'm gaining some speed. Now I'm really into it. Now I'm really a BMX biker. And I'm like, yeah, and in my mind, my imagination is going crazy. I can do this. Yeah. Now I'm Bruce Willis from Die Hard. I'm going to get the bad guys. I don't know what I'm

doing. I'm just daydreaming as I always do. Riding down the road. You're in BMX bandits. Oh, I would. Oh yeah. BMX bandits sure do. Radical. Rad, dude.

Uh, teenage mutant ninja turtle. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but anyway, I'm riding down, I'm picking up some speed. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere comes a German shepherd running after me. And I mean, this German shepherd meant me no good. He meant me no good. He was a guard dog. He was a guard dog for this house, and he was after me. I mean, so I'm pedaling, pedaling down the thing, the dogs barking right behind me, and of course, the German shepherd, I'm sure, if he had wanted to, could have caught up with me, right? But I think he, maybe he was playing,

yeah, maybe he was playing or chasing me out or whatever. I kept going down the hill, down the hill, down the hill, past the house, through this little creek, right? Riding through the creek, back up this little hill, and all of the sudden out of nowhere comes this older teenage kid, and he's got a bat in his hand hand and I thought he was coming after me. Yeah. So I'm like, oh my God, what's going on? I fall off the bike. The dog is probably... It's like a horror movie. It is a horror movie.

Trap in the woods. Yes. You got to understand that this really, I had PTSD over this for months and months and months afterwards. I never even looked at that fucking dirt road for months afterwards. This guy, older kid with a bat, is running toward me and I'm like, oh my god, I fall off the bike because I don't know what, you know, I almost purposely fall off the bike because I don't know what to do now to defend myself from a dog and a teenager with a bat. And this kid has got bright red hair, bright fucking red hair. And he runs past me and then he's swinging the bat wildly toward the dog. He's like, get away, get away, get away, Rofus or whatever, you know, and yeah, the dog bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, and then I hear

somebody calling the dog, whatever his name is, right? So the dog runs back up toward the house and this kid comes by and he goes, you shouldn't fucking ride your bike down here, man. And I'm like, oh, I'm new to the neighborhood. Whatever. I just saved your life. You owe me. And I'm like, okay, all right. Thank you very much. Or you go to school. So I named the school. He's like, yeah, my little brother goes there. Fuck, man. You almost got killed. And I was like, I'm, thank you very much. He's like, if I were you, I'd follow me back to the street and get your ass back to your house and never go down this path again because that dog will eat you alive. He was like scaring the shit out of me.

It wasn't their dog? No, it was somebody's, because eventually this little path ran out just into the woods and then into someone's backyard, into another part of the neighborhood. Oh, okay. Into a cul-de-sac. And his house was in that cul-de-sac. And he must have heard the fruckus or saw it from his backyard and came running to my aid, but then scared the holy fuck out of me by telling me I was about to get eaten

alive by this guard dog that, you know, killed people in the woods. And I was like, holy shit, oh my God. And so, I rode my bike when I was riding through the back, or, you know, carrying my bike through the backyard and I got on to ride it in his driveway, I saw Eric. And Eric goes, he says this to me, he goes, you picked the wrong day to go biking in the woods. And I was like, okay, thanks, I think I know you from school. He's like, whatever. Two redheads just scaring the shit out of me down the street. But I will say that they did probably save me from at least a very scary event.

Bad bite. I'm sure the dog could have called up with me if it wanted to. It's a fucking German shepherd. You think me riding a bike is going to get away from the German shepherd? I think it's just there to scare people away. But man, I'll tell you what, thank God for Eric and his bigger brother. But that was seared in my brain for years. I mean, even as I was an older teenager, like 15, 16, 17 years old, I would still be scared to go down that dirt road. I would have too. I never went back there. Never, ever went back there. Did you know the people that lived in the house?

No one knew the people that lived in the house. We only saw the cars coming at night, actually. Maybe they came during the day and we just didn't hear it, but my room, my bedroom had two windows on the side of the house. So I was like at the end of the house, right? So these two windows overlooked the small amount of woods between us and the dirt road. So when it was fall or at night, you could see the car lights coming in and out. And to me, they only ever came in and out during the nighttime. Maybe that's because I just noticed it. But we never met those neighbors.

They never showed their face. They weren't even spoken about, like with other neighbors. Like, who lives back there? Don't speak thy name. Don't look in the direction of that. It's a man eater. I was like, don't look in the direction of the dirt road. It really was scary.

I mean, you know, I was just a little brother. I was just a little bee. You need to ask your dad and mom about that. Well, I mean, even if I ask my dad to this day, like a couple of years ago, you know, I was doing some reminiscing and I'm like, remember that time we went here? Remember that time?

You know, as a kid, so I don't remember all the color and clarity that my dad probably did. And I did ask, I was like, do you remember the dirt road over there? And he goes, yeah. And I go, who lived back there? And he's like, I don't know. I met the guy once, he was, you know, trolling around outside, cutting the weeds down off the dirt road. And he said, he was never very pleasant. He never really said anything. He goes, but he also never bothered me. I go, dad, his dog almost ate me. Your dog didn't almost eat you. Stop exaggerating, Brian. No dog almost ate you. What are you talking about?

I'm like, Dad, there was this whole incident. He's like, I don't remember that incident. And I'm like, you're such a good father. You don't remember the incident that seared your child's mind forever. I think I mentioned it in therapy one time. I'm lucky I don't have a fear of dogs. I do have a fear of dogs. And that's why I got blue, because she's not a dog.

She's a very loud cat is what she is. That bitch. That bitch. Yeah, so there you go. There's the story of Eric and the bus driver. Anyway, summertime comes. I don't have to deal with the buses anymore. Back to summertime. Yeah. Well, listen, those buses, they're just ridiculous these days. I remember when I was a kid, there'd be like miles in between a bus stop. You would have to get dropped off and then you'd have to walk a mile and a half home because that's the way it was. The bus stop wasn't stopping

every 50 feet at your house. Now, these kids are so pampered, they literally stop at every house so they'll pick you up. Do you see this? I do. All driving decorum has gone out the window here in Atlanta. I don't know if this is happening in your town, but red lights no longer mean shit in this town. No, I just saw that on my way over today. It was so much as it's completely blew through it. Absolutely. Where are the fucking cops?

I guess I need to stop and look even when it's a green light. I have noticed this, especially since probably the pandemic, maybe a little bit before that, 2017, 18. I noticed that people got, listen, in Atlanta, it's always been a rule that yellow light means go faster, right? It means speed through. But now it's the red light, literally six or seven seconds after a light turns red, people will still drive through the intersection. It's incredibly dangerous and scary. And especially when you got some youngsters in the back of the car. Listen, if it's just me and Blue, hit the passenger side. I don't care. But I got my kids, all 30 of them in the back of this family roadster, and I don't want to be killed. But it's as if everybody has just lost all fucking common

sense and decency. And I'm not saying that I'm a prude. I'm not a prude. I get it. Yellow light, go fast. Make that light. You've been sitting in traffic for an hour. All you want to do is make it home a little bit sooner. Yellow light, perfect. Go. But when it's red and you purposefully run through it and you know, it's ridiculous, especially when they're in the turn lane. The turn lane is the worst. Turn arrow comes on, turn arrow turns yellow, then the red, then, you know, everything turns green. They don't give a shit. They'll just keep on riding through the, through the intersection. Stop signs can be the same way. We have a stop sign right outside of our house and

people just blow through it all the time. Oh, yeah. I'm like, wait. Stop sign, please. That's such a suggestion. Stop is a suggestion. It's not an actual law. And by the way, I would have been afraid just 10 years ago to run a red light that I would get pulled over, but I'd never see anybody getting pulled over. I can't hardly blame the cops. The cops get, you know, killed for pulling somebody over for a little bag of weed or whatever and vice versa, by the way, people get killed for having a little bag of weed. So there's a little, you know, tension, I don't know if you've

noticed between the cops and civilized society. But at the end of the day, like, isn't that the job of the police officers to kind of like keep everybody in a little bit of check? Like, make an example of one person that runs the red light to the rest of us now. Well, they kept you in check. Oh, they did. Oh, shit. I'm telling you what. It's the texting. Yes, they did. The kids. Yeah, as the kids are admitting that I was texting. He's like, were you texting? And I was like, no, I don't think I was texting. I was checking the map or something. Yes, you were, darling. Yes, daddy, you were.

You were texting somebody. The cop was like, well, guilty as charged. I got to give you a ticket. But he gave me a ticket for a phone in my hand. He didn't give me the actual texting one. It's like looking at the phone, distraction while driving or whatever. But, you know, also, when I got my license, which wasn't until I was like 22 years old, when I got my driver's license, I was on the straight and narrow. I wouldn't go five miles per hour over, you know, mainly because I'd had so much drama around driving and the police that I was just so scared that I was getting anything wrong. But I just remember 10 years ago, it seemed like, okay, yellow light, all right, I get it. But everyone generally followed the rules of the road. There was always one asshole. But now everybody's an asshole. Grandma's an asshole. This guy's an asshole. That guy's an asshole. Kids that

just started driving are assholes. It's fucking ridiculous. One of two things happens when I'm driving around this town. Either everyone's driving like an absolute maniac and you got to drive like an IndyCar racer to get around or people are purposefully going Exactly the speed limit to piss you off because this is my neighborhood and I'm gonna make sure no one's going fast in my neighborhood I'm mrs. Nancy patrol officer Fuck you fuck you Stop it stop with your pious bullshit.

There's a medium there. I've also noticed a lot of road rage. Not me! Not this guy! I am two different human beings. I am one person outside the car and I am a different person inside the car. And I'm trying. I'm trying my best.

Listen, I don't want to get killed over some silly incident. No, and that will happen. It will. When we were driving to Charlotte, 85, which runs all the entire length of the country, I think up and down the East Coast, 85 is terrible because it's two lanes, oftentimes it's in the middle of nowhere.

And those trucks, they play games. Up to the Carolinas, yeah, for sure. They play games. They play games with you and your time. They get next to each other and then they just ride for 30 miles next to each other, pretending as if they're trying to pass each other. But we really know what's going on.

They're on that CB like, let's fuck with them today. See the guy in the gray family roadster without a headlight on the left-hand side? He's driving a little fast for my taste. So I'm gonna pull over here and I'll get next to you and yuck big buddy, we'll keep up, keep him in check, yeah big buddy, up, ten, four, but a-ruh, rup! And then you know that they're just talking to each other while they're driving right

next to each other. I know you gotta pass slow because of the wind, you know, the whatever you call it, the aerodynamics or whatever, but it gets a little ridiculous. So we're driving back from Charlotte and I love to take the back roads, but on this particular occasion, I decided not to get in an argument with my wife and just go at 85. Well, here we are, you know, behind two trucks, just being assholes. And I'm not the one right behind the truck, but the traffic is slow, go, slow, go, slow, go. It does do that. It does do that because the trucks do that and they're doing it on purpose to piss you off because they have a lot of time on their hands and they don't give a shit. And I love my truckers. I love my truckers. A lot of truckers listen to this show.

I love you guys and I know the games you play and that's okay. You want to have some fun, that's fine. Just don't do it with me. So anyway, so we're driving, so I'm fast, I'll say, I can, I'm looking at my rear view mirror, checking all my mirrors, you know, my three points, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, always looking at my mirrors and I can see miles three points, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, always looking at my mirrors. And I could see miles behind me, because it's like up a hill, I can see this guy is riding on both shoulders to get around people,

and he's going a hundred fucking miles per hour. He is coming so fast, it's crazy. So I'm watching him, watching him, watching him, people are swerving out of the way, like he's causing chaos, and he's gonna cause cause an accident, he's going to kill somebody. And I'm like, holy fucking shit. Well, the guy finally gets up toward me, he's in the right-hand lane, I'm in the left-hand lane, he goes around on the shoulder, and the truck pulls into the shoulder to block

him. So, he cuts behind the truck, and then he cuts in front of me, Chrissy, I've had lots of people cut me off. I have never come so close to getting into an accident. Never come so close and getting in a terrible accident. Well, you know, I just, when that kind of shit happens, I just pray for justice some way. I pray that I come up on an accident, like all of a sudden we're in stop and go traffic, I come up on an accident and that guy is on the side of the road with his leg sticking up, sticking through his anus or something. I mean, I'm serious.

I don't know where this monster comes from, but I have a monster. I'm like praying for someone else's dismemberment. I'm like, I fucking hope he flipped that truck 75 times. And Asher's like, I'm gonna try and settle down. She knows when I'm getting worked up too, because I'm like, I hate this guy. She's like, just let it go, let it go. Let it go. I gotta let it go.

Rev down. Oh, I can't rev down, that guy's revving up and almost killing everybody, leave us alone. All right, well I guess that's enough complaining for one day. I guess that's enough complaining for one day. I guess that's enough complaining for one day. No, it's not. I'll complain when I get in the car later. Yes. All right, let's take a break and we'll be back.

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB. And you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast.

And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. Now I'm gonna thank G one more time that we have sponsors, so thank G and here they are. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I'm going to share that I've been going through a difficult time lately with one of my family members. No trauma, no huge drama, just a difficult situation that I'm trying to navigate. It's times like these when I'm grateful I've got a therapist that I can speak with. Therapy for me is the release valve. It's a place I can go and speak to an objective third party about even the smallest of details in my life. I've been

using therapy for many years to help me navigate these difficult situations, but then to also work on some of the bigger issues we as human beings all experience. And I'd like to think it's making me a little bit of a better person. If you haven't given therapy a try or it's been a while since you've been to therapy, I'd like to recommend BetterHelp. BetterHelp is designed to be easy, convenient and fits your schedule. It's all online. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire and then you get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for any reason, no additional cost. Whether you're trying to work through some big traumatic event or you're just having trouble getting through the minutiae of

life therapy can help. You can start today and get it off your chest with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash commercial today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.'s BetterHelp. Take a few minutes, prioritize your own well-being, and you can start at BetterHelp.com slash commercial. Get 10% off that first month. And we want to thank BetterHelp for being a continuing sponsor of the commercial break. The regular season is complete and the ring is set. Are you ready for NHL playoffs?

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Gambling problem? Call Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to talk to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Oh my god, I saw this story on Instagram. Let me play it for you. Hold on. And I'm just trying to. Okay. Ready? Ready. Blue's ready too. Yeah. Why is it not playing? I don't understand. Okay. Here we go. The craziest story in all of baseball. It has nothing to do with Shohei Otani and nobody

is talking about it. What if I told you that New York Mets added a pitcher to their opening day roster who literally cannot throw a strike? Meet Marv McGillicuddy. This guy had a disastrous spring, yet the Mets who were starving for wins added him to their opening day roster and he's set to come out of the bullpen. Why are they adding Marv you might ask?

Plan is simple, he has a massive dong. Marv is so terrible, he literally can't find the strike zone Yet people are coming far and wide throughout spring training to see Marv Dong thanks to the see-through pants provided by the MLB Don't long the inseam fastball Throb Gibson is attracting fans far and wide MLB and Mets owners are thinking this guy could be the Taylor Swift This is fucking insane. Now to be fair, Marv Big Dong Mets. Long Doug Dong. Long Doug Dong. This is a crazy story, but I have been unable to verify this through my internet research, because he says the name of this guy, Marv McGillicuddy, which to me sounds like a made-up name, but this reel is getting a lot of traction. And a lot of people are, you know, saying,

yeah, yeah, yeah, but I can't find this guy anywhere on the internet, but they do have pictures in this reel of a guy named Marv with a big, you can clearly see how big his Johnson is through his pants. It's unbelievable. Remember we were talking about Mr. Girth or the amazing Girth God or whatever his name is? This guy has a dick that I have, I have a hard time believing that anything is that big in life. Really, I've seen skyscrapers that are less tall. It might not be real, you know, they use the prosthetics in movies now. That anything is that big in life. Really? I've seen skyscrapers that have less tall. It might not be real. You know, they use the prosthetics in movies now.

They do. But what this guy is saying is that there is chatter on the internet, chatter in the Mets front office, that Marv McGillicutty is going to bring people to the ballpark to see his big schlong. Well... And that will bring people to the ballpark to see the Mets. And listen, I don't... People have been doing it with girls for years Oh, yeah, why not beautiful women with big listen? I'm not arguing the marketing strategy here I think it's a good one and I don't disagree with the Mets front office if you're not gonna win games I might as well people come out to see a big dick. I

Mean, let's have you know, only fans night We just show 18 and over but we show Marv, you know, having sex with people on the big screen That's what I think needs to happen I want to find Marv McGillicuddy and this is why I'm making a call to the podcast universe If you know if this story is true or not true Please write in let me know and send me a link to where I can find it because I didn't find him on the roster I didn't find much information about him. There's not it doesn't even seem like there's someone named Marv that's ever been with the Mets. Well, then it's probably not true.

Well, but this guy is like a legit sports guy. I think this guy just was pulling a prank. I put in, uh, I put in Marv, oh, Mets McGar, Marv McGillicutty. Here he is. Oh, well, there you. OK, here, let's see. Uh... I love Harry Potter and this turns into a Harry Potter character.

No, that's not him. I have to know whether or not this guy exists. Is Marv McGillicuddy real or not real? My internet research and my very internet savvy brain tells me that it's probably not real, but it's coming from a very legit source that knows a lot about baseball. So I'm just wondering, did he like fade off into the distance?

They decided maybe his dick wasn't as big as they thought it was because the pictures are amazing. He's probably got two feet of dick, two feet of dick. And unbelievably, the guy with the longest dick in the world was at one point a Mets, a huge Mets fan. And so what he used to do is he used- He was a huge Mets fan. He's a huge Mets fan and he used to be on public access in New York and he would do this like vlog or whatever, you know, this show on talking about the Mets and people would call in

and be like, show me your dick. And I think he might have been a little autistic. So he'd be like, I'm not showing you my dick back to the Mets. But he was on the Howard Stern show once and he showed his dick and apparently it was like three and a half feet long. So Marv McGillicutty and this guy should get together, do a little porn and then throw it on the screen and have Marv McGillicutty night. That's what I'm saying, Chrissy. Yeah, bobble heads abound. Bobble dicks. Bobble dicks. Bobble boners.

What about a bobble boner night? I know. I like it. I went to the Braves game last night, by the way. I saw the Braves trounce the Cubs, seven to nothing. That was a lot of fun. Yeah, Braves games are fun, you know? They are so fun. Everybody's into it. They are so fun. I'm going to one in a lot of fun. Yeah, Braves games are fun, you know? They are so fun. Everybody's into it. I'm going to one in a couple of weeks.

My twin brother has season tickets. And I think way back when the show first started, I had an opportunity to go to, or not when the show first started, 2022, I had an opportunity to go to the playoff games and then a World Series game, which I have never been to a baseball game like that in my entire life.

It was fucking insane. So loud, so boisterous. Every pitch was, you know. The energy. Yeah. And it was a good game. Like it was a good back and forth. This was not. By the second inning, the Braves are up seven to nothing. It didn't matter anyway. So we just kind of sat there and talked. But Kevin has season tickets and he's had the same seats for a while. So I hadn't been there since the World Series game, hadn't been to these seats since the World Series game. So, Kevin points out, oh yeah, that's this guy and I know that girl and these people have season tickets.

Yeah, you get to know people around you. And you get to know people around you. So, he points out that these two brothers are sitting in front of us, like, in front of us a little bit to the right. He's like, oh yeah, those two guys are brothers. So, they're probably in their 60, these brothers. And he goes, they have three seats, but there's only two of them and only two of them ever come. And I said, why is that? And he goes, look at them. And these guys are the epitome of, I don't know how to say this, old white man belly. Do you know what I'm talking about? Where you could like literally lay a plate of food on the belly and it would stay perfectly still. It goes all the way over the pants and then they got tiny, skinny little legs, but they're

huge. These bellies are huge. So, both of these brothers are sitting one seat away, there's a seat empty in the middle. They're kind of lazing over the chair. And I don't know, these guys are probably very nice people, but my attention gets focused on them because both of them have earphones in, not uncommon. A lot of older people like to listen to the game on radio. They like to listen to the color commentary on the radio. So that used to happen all the time. Yeah, I've seen that before.

Back before iPhone, you would have your FM AM. I had one of those ones. Yeah, it was like a can type thing. Yeah, cans, but then they had little dials on the side of them. You could dial in FM AM. Little antenna. Yeah, little was like a can type thing. Yeah, cans, but then they had little dials on the side of them. You could dial in, you know, F and M. Little antenna. Yeah, little antenna sticking out. I had one of those.

For years, I would walk around the park with one of those. It was long after iPhones were around. I was such a dipshit. But I did it for the same reason, listen to the Braves game, because I didn't want to stream it on my phone, because back then it wasn't like it is now. So anyway, so I noticed they have their earbuds in and I'm like, oh, okay, cool. And then I'm just like kind of keeping an eye on what's going on in this guy's phone. I swear to God. At first, he's like playing some game, Dungeons and Dragons, not really sure. Then he's checking Instagram. His Instagram

account looks a lot like my Instagram account. It's all boobs and butt. It's just girl after girl after girl. You can tell this guy is just maybe lonely. I don't know, but that's, you know, I always put a story to someone when I, when I don't know them. I give them a story. Yeah. I have to give them a backstory. I feel like there has to be a plot line in everything that I do in my life, you know? So I create a plot, you know, oh, he's lonely. His wife probably left him, you know, he does, he maybe has a kid that doesn't talk to him anymore. He comes to the Braves game out of habit, he's been doing it since he was five, whatever. Anyway, so these two brothers don't say a fucking word to each other the entire time,

the entire game, they didn't say a word to each other, both on their headsets and on their phones, but I can't see what the other guy is looking at. I can only see the guy closest to me is looking at. At some point, like, let's say around the sixth inning, he all of a sudden, he starts watching, like, I'm assuming it's Japanese television with subtitles on it, and it looks like a show, an hour long show. And I'm like, oh, okay, there's a nice, handsome young guy dressed like a student talking to a girl in a little skirt, you know, they're maybe at school or whatever. And I'm like, wow, that's cool. But at some point it turns into like hentai, like all of a sudden,

all of a sudden it turns very sexual for, and he's like, he's like putting his phone closer to his face and then going like this. Meanwhile, 30 rows behind him, and we're sitting right in front of the press boxes, and everybody could see this guy's phone. He's just like watching this softcore porn Japanese movie on his phone, Japanese show on his phone at the ballpark. Kids and everybody could just see it. And he's just enjoying himself. I mean, he's not like really enjoying himself, but he's in, you know, you could tell he's

into it. He's paying no attention to the game. That's okay seven to nothing. I'm not paying attention to either But you know you're paying to him. I was paying attention to him. I was so fascinated with what was going on I'm like, this is fascinating. Look at this guy. Just pulled up his Japanese porn while we're sitting here You do never know what people are up to it just goes to show remember that guy Jeffrey Toobin It was whacking off during the phone call? I thought of Jeffrey during that moment. I was like, hey, it's just easy to get caught up in stuff and not really realize that everybody else is watching you. Yeah, he had no clue. And I thought to myself, wow, that's interesting. I didn't even point it out to my brothers

because I was like, I just want to enjoy this for a moment. If I say something to Kevin, he might say something, you know, Kevin might say, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey He's calmed down quite a bit. Back in maybe his 20s or 30s, I mean, he would really get into it. He'd be like, go fuck yourself, that was a strike. And people would be like, huh? Now he just occasionally makes the off-handed comment. For a while there, I was like, Kev, either you're way too excited, or you're trying to get attention, but either way, it's not

a good look. Let's calm it down a little bit. But I went with Danny and Kevin and it was a good game. It was a lot of fun. Oh, nice. Atlanta. Little brother time. As we're walking out of the stadium, most people stayed till at least the seven and

thinning stretch, then it thinned out a little bit, but it was certainly full in the stadium. And it's a lovely area over there now, I do have to say that even though they're the Cobb County Braves now, they're not really in Atlanta, they did make a good move. It's a beautiful ballpark. It's a wonderful area.

There's a lot of entertainment and restaurants as is on trend right now for all of these ballparks. They just make a whole district out of it, right? But as we're leaving the game, game's over, we're leaving the game and it's the crowd, the game, game's over, we're leaving the game, and you know, it's the crowd, the rush, everybody, and everybody is so calm and polite and nice. And I do have to say something about Atlanta.

I'm really proud of Atlanta in that way. This is not Philly, this is not Chicago, this ain't the New York Jets, this isn't, you know, the Raiders. People aren't just beating each other up in the parking lot for no reason. Like it's just a very chilled, relaxed, warming, and listen, the Raiders. People aren't just beating each other up in the parking lot for no reason. Like, it's just a very chilled, relaxed, warming. And listen, I get it. You love your sports. They just turn into crazies on the road.

Yeah, they're just idiots on the road. They're all running the red light. They go from nice and polite at the ballpark. Yes, literally. They have all the roads blocked off in different ways. Who knows how they do that traffic pattern. It all seems very confusing to me, but whatever. They have a plan.

I guess just follow the lines. But there's all these cones that are set up in one of these access roads to the back of the stadium where I believe probably the players are parking. So there's this guy in this beat up old Ford Taurus and he's just standing in line for traffic, sitting in line, we're walking to the car, and he just takes a right, rolls over a bunch of cones, and just starts driving down the road. He has no clue. I'm like, hey dude, what's going on?

That's one way to do it. Yeah, I wanted to see if he was gonna get arrested. Yeah, exactly, might as well try. But I say this to point out that, you know, it's such a cool town, like everybody's just like, yeah, cool, whatever, you know, braves won. I mean, I guess there's no stakes in the game either. So it's not like we just had a hard, fat fought battle with the Phillies or something like that. It's just a regular game and we won seven to nothing. And I love the Cubs and I love the Braves. I know Jeff's a big fan too.

And I used to be like, oh, sorry, the Braves lost. And he's like, yeah, there's a ton of games. Yeah, 200,000 games a season. If you lose one, it's not that big of a deal. I mean, honestly, baseball is the most ridiculous sport. I love it, but it's the most ridiculous sport. But they added that pitch clock. You know what that is? Yes. All right. So for those of you that don't know, who aren't into professional baseball, it used to be that you would go to a game and depending on who was pitching, it could be two and a half hours, three hours, or it could be five hours long.

And that had to do with a lot of different things. But the main cause of the drag was who was pitching on the mound. Because some pitchers pitch out of the stretch, that means it takes them a long time to get ready. It takes them like a minute and a half for each pitch. They're cooling down their arm a little bit. They're thinking about what pitch. Adjusting their package. Yeah, adjusting their package,

spitting some stuff on the dirt, making sure that the plate is clean. Because the fuck is the plate is clean? We need to do slip off. What is that, an oil slick? Are we in a cartoon? Are you gonna slip off the mound, fly across the stadium?

No, it's a little bit of dirt. You're on a mound, who cares? It's like, you know, whatever. You know, and then it checks the first, whoever's on first base, come on, guys, let the catcher worry about that. You've pitched the ball. But it was incredibly painful and long process and a lot of people liked it because it was part of the tradition of the game. It kept things, the pace, slow and methodical like a chess game, but it's not a chess game. It's a professional sporting event and you can't spend five and a

half, six hours. I mean, Chrissy and I went to a ton of Braves games when we worked. That last for so long. We go to a businessman's special at three in the afternoon. We get out of the stadium at 11.15. Swear to God we would. Because it'd be a five and a half hour game followed by two and a half hours

of throwing up in the shop house. Well, cause we'd take shots. Yeah, we were just shot after. Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, yeah. That our manager put on his tab, his never-ending tab. Braves up by 35 runs, middle of the third inning. It's 9 p.m. at 3 o'clock game. Because, you know, Smoltzi has taken seven hours to get his bag ready or whatever he's

doing, his bag's ready, I don't know. So that pitch clock, they did a trial run last year with the minor leagues. What they did is they give everybody, I think it's 20 seconds, 20 seconds between pitches. So as soon as the pitch is thrown, as soon as you start the stretch, meaning you start to make a motion toward the bag, then they stop the pitch clock. And so most pitchers take all of that 20 seconds. They really have it down to a rhythm, but it keeps the game moving. Yeah.

And I do have to say that watching the games on TV and watching them in real life now feels better to me. It's like, I didn't, I didn't know if I'd like it or not. I love it. I think it's great for the game. And I do too. That's what I always liked about going to soccer games too, is they were quick. Oh, yeah, it's always quick. It's fast action always going on. Well, it's only 90 minutes too. You know, it's it's very quick

They they got to do that to golf too. We got we got to get rid of some of these golfers You take seven hours and we're talking about the wind and which way the grass blades go I love golf. I really do i'm all about it But fuck man if I have to dedicate an entire weekend, I mean an entire weekend from two in the afternoon to midnight to watch this fucking shit because Tigers, you know, Worried about which way the wind is blowing the pine. It's like come on. Does the wind really affect your ball that much? Yes, it does. But can you really accurately predict which wind is gonna happen when you're standing in the middle of a big field? No, you can't. So, you know, take your best guess and throw it out. That's

what I have to say. We should have a pitch clock on most of the things that we do in life. That's my opinion. A pitch clock on putting the kids to bed, a pitch clock on the bathing, on the bathing, the bathing, bathing? What was that, Brian? The bathing. The Roman baths. On the bathing. If we put a pitch clock on the commercial break, that might be a good thing too. 20 seconds to get from commercial to commercial. Three segments, that's it. Minute long commercial breaks.

Oh man. Anyway, had a good time at the Braves game. I'm so happy you had a good night out. It just reinforced that everyone who lives in a city knows that you love the city, but you hate the city. I forgot who told us that. It was Leslie. Leslie Leal said, I think everybody feels the same way about their city. They love it, but you hate the city. I forgot who told us that. It was Leslie. Leslie Liao said,

I think everybody feels the same way about their city. They love it, but they hate it. And I feel the same way about Atlanta. I love it, but I hate it. And I've been here for a long time, probably longer than most. But the truth is, I do love our city. I think our city is just a group of cool people. Drive like a bunch of assholes. You drive like a bunch of assholes. But they're also driving like assholes in North Carolina on 85 too. So much more dangerously, I might add. So anyway, thanks, Atlanta, for being a cool town. I really do appreciate it. From my heart to your heart, I love you.

Now watch, we're going to do a live show in Atlanta and six people are going to show up. They're going to be like, the feeling is not mutual. We as in Atlanta have gotten together and decided, leave our town. We don't like you. Yeah. You can continue to record here, but just mention somewhere else, like Huntsville or somewhere like that. Can you pretend you're in Huntsville? We would appreciate it. All right. Let's take a break. We'll be back.

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break and then follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast. Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCV. And don't forget to check out tcdpodcast.com because that's

got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break. Okay, and we're back. Hey, did you, I want to talk about this like disturbing trend that's going on in New York about people getting randomly punched. Oh, God. Yeah. Well, I saw the thing about Steve Buscemi. Steve Buscemi. Yeah. It's like a national treasure. I know.

I know you may not know who Steve Buscemi is when you're walking down the street. You could probably walk by him a million times and never recognize that it's Steve Buscemi. But what a terrible, terrible thing to be. Two things in New York that are going on right now that are really kind of unnerving to be. Number one is the random punching in the face. And now it's happened to like Bethany Frankel and some other people. Yeah, it's crazy. I don't understand why.

I don't know. It's like a game people are playing or I don't know if they're just getting their aggressions out on random human beings Because the guy who supposedly punched Steve Buscemi looked like a perfectly normal dude. Like he didn't look like he was crazy or anything. He was like wearing a jogging outfit and you know He looked buff like he had been working out and he had a bag on his shoulder It looked like any guy random person you would walk by on the street And apparently he just knocked the shit out

of Steve Buscemi for no reason while Steve was on his phone. And apparently that's the common denominator amongst all of these is that it's people on their phones. People when they have their head down on their phones are getting punched randomly. And why, for what reason? There is no reason. There is no reason, punch a punching bag, punch a wall.

I know, I mean, Steve had to go, I saw you had to go to the hospital and had like a whole eye situation going on. There is no reason. There is no reason. Punch a punching bag. Punch a wall. I know. Steve had to go, I saw he had to go to the hospital and had like a whole eye situation going on. I mean, it's terrible. Steve is not exactly a spring chicken. I mean, he's got to be in his sixties, mid sixties, if not late sixties. The guy's been around forever and he's been in a lot of things that I just love.

I do too. Big Lebowski, all the Coen brother movies, I think, maybe except for Fargo and, but I mean, he's- Boardwalk Empire. Boardwalk Empire was so fucking good. Anyway, you know Steve Buscemi, you know what he's been in. He's walking down the street in New York in an upscale part of town down in lower Manhattan, and he just gets knocked down for no reason by a guy who's just walking by him randomly. And Steve's got his head in his phone and just gets knocked. And that apparently happened to a number of other celebrities,

but probably more disturbingly to just random human beings. Women, mainly, but a couple of guys apparently have had this happen to them too. What the fuck, guys? Rev down. Rev down. Rev down. Guy in the Ford F-150 driving like a fucking idiot

in North Carolina and people who are punching people randomly in New York, can you guys just like give it a break? The world is tough enough right now. It really is. Living in 2024. Buy a freaking punching bag. Get your aggression out on that. Punch a wall. Punch your own dick. I hear some people get off on that. You know? Like, why are you punching random people who are undeserving of it, at least from your perspective, because you don't know them? They're undeserving of it and quite frankly, it's just highly disturbing. It's scary.

It's mean and dangerous. It's mean and dangerous. And listen, I think the crime is everywhere in the big city thing, is overblown. Crime is actually lower than it has been, you know, in, since the pandemic started. But the truth is, is that just, that just makes things very scary for everybody that wants to just walk around unmolested. I mean, that's the truth. So fuck, leave it alone. But here's the other second thing that I think is disturbing. It's going on in New York right now. Did you hear they put a portal to Dublin in New York? No. Do you know what I'm talking about?

No, a portal to Dublin. So in Times Square, yeah, let me explain for those of you that don't know, and you can go Google it and see it. In Times Square, they put up an art installation. That art installation essentially looks like a portal, right? A big portal. It's got a huge bubble, like a bubble donut thing around it, and then it's got a screen in the middle. And it's huge, right? It's probably 10 feet tall, 10 feet wide, it's a big circle screen. And that screen, that art installation, is in Dublin also. So they have two of them, and the screen shows the other one. So when you're in New York, you can see straight into downtown Dublin. When you're in downtown Dublin, you can see straight into New York. And so, people have been going by, waving to people, you know, apparently there have

been a couple of people who have connected romantically because they saw each other on the New York, the Dublin portal. Yeah, so… Sall you on the portal. Sall you on the portal. Loved your tits. Calling me up. What's going on?

Hey, saw you, Mr. McGillicuddy on the portal. Thought I'd call about that two foot dick. Meet me at the portal. Meet me at the portal. Let me tell you something. We can't have nice things, because after two weeks it turned into total fucking debauchery. Let me guess.

People flicking each other off. People pacing on it. People flash, OnlyFans models going out there and flashing people, you know, sexually suggestive stuff, people holding swastika flags, people showing hardcore graphic pornography on their phones going right up to the camera and showing hardcore pornography. So they had to shut it down. They had to shut it down.

It's something that apparently everybody really thought was a cool idea. And then a few jackholes decide they got to ruin it. Now I get it, you troublemakers. I'm just like you. I have been just like you. 30 years ago, I also would have had similar ideas. But can't we have one thing nice? Can we have one thing nice?

One thing that's untainted by absolute drama? Like swastikas, really? Swastikas? Are we, is that how we want to let Dublin know that we're good? I don't know if it's coming from Dublin or to Dublin or whatever, but it doesn't really matter where it's coming from. Swastikas are pretty much a universal, there's a universal agreement that swastikas are a bad sign of anything. Nothing good ever came after a swastika. I'm just letting you know that right now. If you can think of something, text me, but

I don't know. I don't think so. And then hardcore pornography. People are in Times Square, their children are around. It's just like shitty altogether. It's just shitty. Why are you doing that? Like the random occasional flashing, if you're at night and there's adults around, okay, cute, right? Funny, you did it.

You showed some tits, that's great. Or you mooned the camera. I get that stuff. Okay, everyone's gonna act out a little bit. But all the like violent and weird and, you know, sexually explicit bullshit. It's like, come on guys. Let's not do this. Let's not do this. Dublin has one of the best television shows I have ever seen, Dating Naked. Yes. So why are we going to fuck with Dublin like this? We need that portal. If they would show Dating Naked on their 24 hours a day, that is like a clinically scientifically unsexual show. It really is. It's hard to get worked up when you literally have a close-up of someone's

genitalia where they have like pimples and stuff on their leg. I know it's crazy. We should review it again. I know. It's on HBO Max now. Yeah, I know. That's crazy. Like we talked about, I mean not that we did anything, I didn't do anything, but no know. That's great. I saw it. Like we talked about, I mean, not that we did anything, I had to do anything, but we didn't. No, but it was after we talked about it. Yeah, it was like three months after we talked about it. It was then on Max.

Yeah, for sure. But now everyone's running around like, you know, flashing and I just find it like, it just feels so shitty to me. Life is so tough as it is. People are punching each other for no reason and, you know, showing cum shots on the Portland, the Dumbo. But listen, cum shots look the same all around the world. You don't need to show them. They know. They get it. They got it. What a cum shot looks like. The money shot looks the same anywhere in the world. And you don't need to show that

kind of stuff to prove a point or to make yourself cute. And by the way, who fucking cares? Like, does anybody really care that you show? I mean, yes, people care. But what I mean is, is it important? Did it do anything? Did it further any conversation? Are you helping anybody in any way? No, you're just being an asshole. That's all you're doing. Leave it alone. Honestly, leave it alone. Can we pull ourselves back together just for a minute? Can we sit down and take a deep breath and pull ourselves together for one minute? I wish. I felt like when I first saw that portal to Dublin, I thought, what an interesting idea. What a cool idea. I mean, I realize it's not like groundbreaking technology to have a video

camera somewhere and a television screen. I realized that. Live streaming has been around for a long time. This is nothing new, but it's just a cute idea. It is. streaming has been around for a long time. This is nothing new, but it's just a cute idea. You know, have the kids wave to the other kids and you know, say hi and you know, show your breasts and you know, that kind of stuff I think you can get away with, but all the other stuff is just too much. It's too dramatic. What's going on?

I wish I knew. I wish you knew too. It's really, it's disturbing. You know, when I think of stuff like this, I think Chrissy's gonna have an answer for me. She's gonna understand. I just go back to my nice news in the mornings that I read and think about all the nice things. Chrissy has like all the happy articles sent to her.

She's like, morning affirmations. Meanwhile, Brian's like swastika's in Dublin. Money shots in the Dublin portal. I'm gonna start sending you the nice news. So it's a good balance. Yes, go ahead and send it to me. I'll be happy to take a look. There's some interesting things.

You know what I would think would be interesting is if someone actually came on the camera, like that would be something I would say, hey, well, it's art, it's art, it's modern art. Cause I look at some of these. Well, speaking of cum shots, did you read the story that happened here in Atlanta at the Whole Foods, there was a Whole Foods where a woman was bending down in the Whole Foods

like in middle of the day on a Saturday and all of a sudden felt something on her back. And she said that she thought it was coffee had been spilled on her and she turned around and the guy was pulling up his pants and ran outside and got in his car and everybody's trying to figure out where this guy is but Come it was just yeah, she got g. Yeah. She was disturbed. She's like a plastic surgeon. Oh my god It was bad. Oh my god She got a come-and-go. Yeah, I come and go is I come and then I go I guess that's it Yeah, she got a come-and- go at the Whole Foods? Oh my God. What's wrong with people?

Really? Seriously? Yeah. No, it's in the news. I just read it yesterday. Where did this happen? At the Whole Foods in Atlanta. Downtown? The Ponce de Leon one? No, I don't even know if it said exactly which one, but I think it might've been in this area. Oh my Christ. For God's sake.

Come and go is strictly reserved for one night stands. That's a come and go guys. I just made that up by the way. You feel free to use it at your house party. It's your house warming party. Hey, are you here for the come and go? But that's terrible. That is terrible. That is highly disturbing. Yeah, she was. And yeah, somebody got a picture of the plate and the store had cameras. Oh, good. So I think they're going to find this guy, but that's just awful. and yeah, somebody got a picture of the plate and the store had cameras. Oh, good. So I think they're gonna find this guy,

but that's just awful. Yeah, you know, this is gonna be on some fucking porn channel eventually, you know, like one of two things. I don't even find that as porn. No, but some people are into that. They're into that like voyeuristic, you know, crazy crap. And listen, whatever you're into, cool, but when it includes not telling another

human being you're about to jazz on them, it's like, hey, come on guys. You can go on chatter bait and do the same thing with some random stranger that's expecting it, by the way. That is expecting. This is insane that someone would just jizz on you and go, yeah, send me the story. I'd like to read about that I'd like to see if they got my license plate, right Yeah, I don't know what's going on in the world but it's common guys it's all sad the common goes Ah the good old common goes Come and run. Yeah.

Come and hit, and Ryan's a come and run. Was that the Dine and Dash? Yeah. Now it's the D and Dash. Yeah. Come and dash. All right, well, if you wanna come and go, let us know. 212-433-3TCB, that's 212-433-3TCB.

If you're here in the Southeastern United States, Tennessee, North Carolina, Florida, Georgia, maybe even Alabama, let us know because we- Huntsville specifically. Huntsville specifically because I think that's where we're going to be banished here after the come and go story. Let us know because we're putting together some live shows, a little tour if you will. I don't know if I want to call it a tour because I don't think that's the accurate word for it, but you know, some live shows and we'd like to know who's interested in coming and going. So 212-433-3822, questions, comments, concerns, consent ideas from anywhere in the world,

soul free, just give us your, yeah, what am I saying? Don't give us anything, just write us. We love you, write us. Leave us a message. What you can do is you can get your free TCB bumper sticker at TCBpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video, all the show notes. Sure, no.

People, I've seen people send us pictures on the refrigerator, on the backpack, on their computer, whatever, put it anywhere. But you can get your free sticker by giving us your physical address on the website, on the contact us page, drop down menu says I want my free sticker. Give us that address and away it'll go! You can also send us an email through there. And we would additionally like to let you know that you can find us on Insta. Now on Insta. Now at the commercial break.

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Thanks Dr. Phil. You're welcome, Brian. Today is going to be a changing day in your life. You've got the voice down. I sure do. All right. I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Christy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, good-bye! I get ass!