The Commercial Break - Tag Team, Back Again!

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

It's the start of a brand new season #3 for TCB. Krissy and Bryan break in the new studio and try not to break anything. They discuss Krissy's COVID sickness, Bryan's long break from the show and a Christmas Eve ham caper. Then Bryan is reminded of the time he was scared off by an older woman with a Pink Cadillac. Bob Saget passed away and he was loved by many....will. Bryan be remembered by Dave Chapelle? And finally, they review the 3 big NYE T.V. shows : Andy & Anderson, Seacrest's Rocking / Cocking NYE and the shit show known as Pete and Miley. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kill me in the name of O'Ride! Classic from 33p, a cut off their album, live from the shady oaks retirement center. I'm Johnny Drangerson, welcome to WUFUQ, you on a Tuesday morning, 605 on the FUQQ clock. Welcome back to me. I'm back for my stint over there, WSH-IT, our sister television station. If you haven't already heard, I'd like to formally apologize for some of my behavior on the last three days of my employment.

I think I've written all the apology letters I can write quite frankly, but once again, Judy, I apologize. I had no idea she was your daughter. No idea she was in high school. It was the company Christmas party. What can I say? But I, hey, listen, on to greener pastures, let's check traffic and weather.

On the weather front, it's minus 16 degrees, feels like minus 32. That's fucking cold. I'm gonna tell you that. Right, the fuck now. Got to bundle up. It's gonna be a witch's tit out there. We're expecting snow, but not the kind from the sky.

If you know what I mean, I'm off probation. I'm down at the station, bring some liabations. I'll be here all afternoon. 605 in the morning, you know what that means. It's time to check the FUQU traffic. On Main Street, there's a one car pile-up that snarled that inner city loop right there. You know, you want to add in a little extra time if you're driving, biking, or walking to work like I do.

And in other news, Mr. Jackson has been lost again. Going outside to look for his newspaper without his rope. And it's very cold outside. So if you see a naked 92 year old man walking down the street without his newspaper, give us a call here at station yet. 1-800-WFUQU. Okay, all right, 6 o'clock in the morning. You know what that means.

It's time for a little TCB. That's right, the morning's new crew coming in here, Brian and Hadley or whatever her name is. Gonna start the new year off right for you. They'll be back right after this commercial break. I'll tell you what we're gonna have to do. Well, jazz on the scene. We're not going about to do a free form jazz exploration in front of a festival crowd.

On this episode of the Commercial Break. Look at this, we're in the brand new TCB studio for season number three. Oh, I look so good. This is legit, man. This is legit. You got to check it out, youtube.com slash the commercial break. You got to remember all the stuff. You have to check out the brand new studio put together by my wife really and then Chrissy

and I helped drill holes all over my house. Which now looks like fucking Swiss cheese. Give me a chance to say goodbye. Don't let me die of the Widowmaker. So I get out there and I'm trying to run because I'm afraid of the Widowmaker and I figure if I can get these legs pumping some blood up to my heart That I won't die of the widow maker, but my legs don't want to cooperate Chrissy because I'm not a three-year-old child being thrown around a room Doing flips upside down and sideways With my flexible legs it's unbelievable. I

All those years of hard living. I didn't look hard All those sundraens days at the pool. You mean to tell me, what you mean to tell me the 26 Bud Lights Uncle Brian. That's what they used to call me. Uncle Brian, and not in the cute way. Just stay away from your daughter kind of way. Uncle Brian, he's not his 22nd Bud Light.

You might want to keep your daughter away. So two weeks later, she called me at the Chili's and I called her, she had broken up with her fiancé. Oh wow. I called her back. She literally pulled up in her pink Cadillac from Mary Kay. She was doing well then. She was doing well.

We went to the... We went to the overlook and we made love. Okay. She never called me again. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Wow! Yo! Hey! Hi. Season three. Wee! Wee! We're back! We're back after an extended break. COVID and winter storms and Christmas and...

Dehaleika, new year. Guantra. Miley Cyrus' tits, at least three times over the holidays. I saw Miley Cyrus' tits. I don't know about you. I'm, call me up on the tits counter hotline. Six, six, one. Best to yo.

How the hell are you? I'm good! I'm a damn- What a long break. Yeah. Doesn't it feel like it was a long time? It's been a long time. Yeah.

Look at this, we're in the brand new TCB Studio for season number three. Oh, I look so good. This is legit, man. This is legit. You got to check it out, youtube.com slash the commercial break. You got to remember all the stuff. You have to check out the brand new studio put together by my wife really and then Chrissy and I help drill holes all over my house, which now looks like fucking Swiss cheese. The resale value of my house goes down with every hole that we do.

You are a ladder up there. I was. It's horrible. It's scary to hide. On one leg with another leg up in the air. Joining a hole in these vaulted ceilings in the top of my thing. But man, I think it looks really nice.

After it's all said and done, we had our tech guy, who's a remote tech guy, Matthew, called me up yesterday so that we could put all of this together. Now no longer are there millions of wires running around the studio that don't serve a purpose. Now there's even more wires that all serve a purpose. I don't know. Yes, there's more room for the wires.

There is more room for the wires. More room for the wires and more room for my growing stomach after the holidays. I've grown back almost all myself and I look. But I think it looks good. Look here, I'll turn it on the Chrissy cam. Let's turn it on the Chrissy cam. There's a Chrissy cam.

Hello. Hey, how are you? Let's turn it on the me cam cam. Let's turn it on the Chrissy cam. There's a Chrissy cam. Hello. Hey, how are you? I turned it on the me cam. Hey, it looks like I'm in the dark. It looks like I'm in the closet. It's not got a few kings to work out, but thanks for joining us. Welcome to the commercial break best to you Chrissy. Best to you. And Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on the first episode of season number three. Now it's been four weeks almost exactly to the day, four and a half weeks actually, I think four weeks, four and a half weeks, since Chrissy and I were in the studio recording live. We had not intended to take such a long break, but like the rest of the universe we had been affected by COVID because Chrissy got the good.

The whole house got it right at Christmas. Yeah, she got only Chrome. How's that only Chrome? Ryan had to go pick up my honey baked ham for me. I did, which was an interesting experience. And drop it off. By the way, he left it outside the car door. He's my friend down.

I had my son in the car. And he's like, he's like, Chrissy, Chrissy, and I'm like, I don't touch Chrissy. I'll touch Chrissy, yeah. And Chrissy. You cracked the window. And Chrissy is like, radiation, son. You don't touch her. I literally threw the honeybeck ham on the sidewalk.

And I was like, Merry Christmas. Oh, oh, oh. And the funny thing about the honeybeck ham, so Chrissy calls me up, when did you get 23rd? We got it the 23rd. You got the notification on the 23rd that you had on Omicron. I felt okay on that day, but it was the 24th

and when I started feeling bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you kind of, it knocked you dick in the dirt, but just for a day. Well, it knocked your clippin' dirt in the day. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was for a few days. Yeah, body eggs had all the stuffiness and everything, but we're all recovered now, thank God.

And thank God for that. Yeah, thank God for that. Because there's still a lot of people who are being hospitalized by the whole thing, and especially children. So, you know, I hear you, I kind of in my heart, like in my heart, I want Omicrome, that's what I want. Because I'm, you know, I'm boosted in a Vax

and all that other stuff, and I could get all survive it, even though I'm a little bit up there in age to get to be 66 now. But I figure I'll survive it and then I can just be done with it. Yeah. And this is kind of the prevailing thought amongst my friends, most of which who are being very, who've been very careful throughout the pandemic for one reason or the other, you know, family members are not because of themselves necessarily, but because of the people around them. Around them. Yeah, that's why we were always so careful. Yeah, me too. And because of the kids, you know, they, who knows, who knows, and who knows what the long

lasting effects of coronavirus are on children or on, on people in general. But you call me on the 23rd, on the 24th, I stupidly volunteer. I say, hey, listen. You need anything? Yeah. Let me go. Actually, I do. Let me go.

And I'm going to go, she goes,. Actually I do. Let me go. And I'm gonna go, she goes, can you pick up a honey baked ham? If you ever been to a honey baked ham on a fucking Christmas Eve, it's like a, it's like hell. It's like going to the Walmart. Yeah, it's true friend, Brian. It's like going to Walmart on Black Friday. You gotta dam right I am.

Because first of all, this, this honey baked ham is in the location I've never seen a honey baked low-hands of the honey baked ham. It's like on the corner of the, this honey bake ham is in the location. I've never seen a honey bake low-hank of the honey baked ham. It's like on the corner of the, it's straight up one of the worst parts of it. It's horrible. I know. And it's literally... Leaning the most traffic parts of Atlanta.

Yeah, traffic by traffic. I mean, sex traffic. Yes. The rub like district. What are you talking about? That's North spirit hills area. Oh, yees. No. It looks like it was in an's not your nails area? Oh, yees, yeah, yeah. It looks like it was in an old Asian massage parlour.

Oh, okay. I don't know. I've never even been, I never even get a honey bag to ham at this year. We were like, what are we going to do? Oh my god, you gave you sandwiches for a week. We can go out, we couldn't, yeah. So we have. How much honey bag ham did you eat this year?

We still have some. Do you really? Still, it's frozen, but yeah, yeah, we can only eat so much. Like day four, I was like no more ham. Cockroaches and honeybeam. Cockroaches and honeybeam are gonna survive. We would've looked a really large one too for some reason. It was huge.

So I drive up with my son and they have not one, not two, but three different people that are directing traffic in and out of the Honey Baked Ham. I'm sure. And because there's no place to park, literally, I think this was an old Jacksack. And so it was like they had the parking was all in the back. And everybody's just trying to kind of maneuver

around this 13 space place. And there's a line out the door, wrapped around the building. Yeah, they had specific times that you had to go. I think they tried to organize it, but. I will see this. Once I got into the honey baked ham, they did a good job of getting me the ham,

like quickly once I got up to the counter. But then everybody in their, you know, the world so divided these days because of whatever bullshit, right? And it mostly has to do, I think, right now, at least the omnipresent thing to be angry what other people about is whether or not you're wearing a mask. Right, some people are angry with you if you're wearing a mask,

some people are angry if you're not wearing a mask. At the Honeybake Tam, this was playing out seven spade. And what I mean by that is there was, when I got up to the door, there was a guy who was waiting there, but he was standing outside the door. Freasing fucking cold, he's standing outside the door. And there's a line inside of the store, but the last person in line is probably a good 14,

15 feet from the door, right? And I said, are you waiting? He goes, I am, I am, but you know, with this new variant, I don't wanna get crazy, so I'm staying outside. He's not wearing a mask. And I was like, well, I don't wanna be rude or anything. I don't wanna point out the obvious. But so that, but I get, what am I going to do?

And I got a kid in my hand, might even my kids wearing a mask. I don't got my kid in my hand. So he then waits for another, there's, let's call it 30 people inside waiting for a honey baked ham. But there's plenty of room to get inside and stand in line and still keep your distance.

But this guy waits for an additional 15 people to leave out the door before he then walks into stand in line. He proceeds. Still without a mask. And I'm like, I can't believe this. And he's one of those guys who like when he's talking to you, he's getting ever closer. He's like, so what are you doing for Christmas?

Have you heard about his home in Converter? And I'm like, dude, stay away. What do you guys, I have to do about it. It's in the back here. Don't, that's all. Stay away from me. I get the honey baked it. It's in the back here. Don't! That's all. Stay away from me. I get the honey baked ham. We get in the car.

We drive over to Chrissy's house. This is Chrissy, mind you. And I don't really know what the protocol is for dropping off a honey baked ham and a friend who has a homey crop. So I pull up to a very highly trafficked part of her apartment complex, Condor Complex. And I literally throw the ham out the window on sidewalk. I came down. It was on the sidewalk. And I literally throw the ham out the window on sidewalk. I came down, it was on the sidewalk.

The ham was on sidewalk. The ham is outside. Meanwhile, I'm watching, I'm bleeding for someone to steal a ham. Cause, you know, I live in the burbs now. So when you live in the burbs, everything's terrible down in the city of Atlanta. Everything's terrible out in the burbs.

When you live in the burbs, everything's terrible in the city of Atlanta, right? And I'm hearing aboutbs. When you live in the burbs, everything's terrible in the city of Atlanta, right? And I'm hearing about these, you know, all these people breaking into everybody's cars and taking everything. So I'm like, surely this honey bait, please let Chrissy come out quickly because it's the honey bait ham get stolen off the street.

I did. Be responsible for $100. I have it on like in 95 masks and the whole thing. You had three on sunglasses, just in case it's coming out my eyes. She had a hoodie on backwards. Yeah. Everything.

Two eyes cut out. Very Christmas. Very Christmas to you. Wow. Did you, but what did you guys do for Christmas? Like, what was the, what was the thing that you did? They didn't bad. We didn't, we didn't, we didn't.

We watched Netflix and shows because. You can't worry about it. You can't worry about it for a hot minute. Like, isn't, isn't there only so much Netflix that you can wear? Yeah, but I mean, you're just your sick. So what are you gonna do? But you normally get sick. Yeah, but you're sick for two of the 10 days

that you were in quarantine, right? Well, no, we were sick for about five days. Oh, you were? Oh, I didn't think it lasted that long. I thought it was like two days of really not feet. I know Jeff's fair and worse than you did. Yeah, it's because he's an and worse than you did. Yeah. Yeah, it's because he's an old man like I am.

Yeah, we all had it differently. One of our daughters had absolutely no symptoms at all and had it. Yeah. So other than young kids, they can take it. I mean, it's the young kids that can take anything. Yeah. You know what amazes me about young children is how they can take anything. Like I'll throw my daughter across the room onto the bed

and her leg will literally flip behind her ear and she'll bounce face first into the back of the wall. It's funny. I know, oh, this is bad. Me getting out of bed this in the morning, it's like, I can't see back up like, ah, ah, ah, my knee, my heart, my ass, my balls. My sister, with her two boys, they just flip and,

wait, I'll all over the place. The flexibility, the durability, the pure brashness of those children. And it just makes me, it reminds me every day of how fucking old I am, because I'm like, I can't even, I went on a run for the first time in like two months. For no particular reason except it's busy, it's the holidays and it's a busy time.

And I do like to run when I get a chance. So my friend calls me and says, hey, meet me and let's go for a run. Is this second that I got out of the car? My knee started hurting. Like my knee was hurting just thinking like, my knee was like, hey dude, don't do it.

Please don't do it. We're not 12 anymore. And I'm like, I know, but I to check out the heart the hearts on its own man You can't rely on that shit You're gonna die of a grand I'm the one I'm afraid of is dying of one of those um, you know Bob Sagitt died right and so they made me think he's so young He was like what 65 or something 64 60. Yeah, I can just keep on going down until I guess the right age five or something 64, 60, I can just keep on going down until I guess the right age. Six, three, six, six, two.

Okay. So everybody apparently loves Bob Sagitt, which I did not do. Oh, listen, I like Bob Sagitt as much as the next guy, but I wasn't particularly emotionally attached to him. There were a lot of people that were though. A lot. A lot of people came out of like Dave Chappelleus, like, you know, running around the country, hosting, you know, back room comedy shows about Bob Sagitton who knew now I knew

Bob Sagitt's whole thing was I'm the whole I'm the most wholesome father on television and when I get you in an audience inside of a comedy club I am absolutely gonna destroy you with mentions of the underside of my balls right I mean he just was the he was so blue it wasn't even funny he was funny actually he was pretty funny. It wasn't even funny. It was funny actually. He was pretty funny That was his whole thing, but what I didn't understand was how deep his connections went into the world of comedy Because I don't know I just didn't think of Bob Sagitt like that. Here's a strange thing So you remember that fireside thing that we were doing and season two amongst all the other things that we've done that have come and gone I promise you were to stop that We're. I promise you we're gonna stop that.

We're gonna stop telling you we're gonna do shit. We're not gonna do it. Fire side we were on this for a moment. And listen, we might still go on. I'm not ruling it out. I'm just saying we're not doing it right now. We got bigger fish to fry. We got to figure out why Chrissy looks like she's in the closet every time I put on her Chrissy cam. Let's put on the Chrissy cam for a second. Yeah, you look really dark in that. YouTube.com slash the cover. So we do.

That's okay. So Bob Sagitt passes away and then I remember the only interaction and I had an interaction with Bob Sagitt was on fireside. Oh, okay. Bob Sagitt did a show on fireside. Now, only did one show. I think it's all that they did like a replay of that too.

They're always replaying it, right? I mean, you can just go on there. You can go to fireside chat, download the app, and then Bob Sagitt did one episode of a podcast that he was a co-host on. And it's called like, what's your problem? And you come up and you'd say, what's your problem is? And then, you know, they talk about it.

So I was up on the stage with him for... Participating. For like 50 seconds, right? I said something and they went off on a tangent and then they asked the next question. Bob was very funny and he seemed very sympathetic and empathetic to everything that was going on and everybody else's life. Everybody is talking about how much they loved Bob's saga,

about what, it means some people are like, he's the best human that I ever knew. Do people say that shit every time that someone, like, if people are gonna say that about me, do you think? I hope so. I'll say it. I'll say it. Well, thank you.

But do you think the whole comedy community is gonna come out and talk about me being the best guy they ever knew? Do you think Chris Rock is gonna show up and start doing underground comedy shows? I'll talk to him and see if he will. So Bob dies and listen, he died at a Ritz Carlton. So at least the guy wasn't like, you know, in the holiday in on the road, right?

He was doing sell-out shows to, you know, medium-sized comedy places. He died at the Ritz Carlton in Orlando, which is a very nice place, but of a heart attack. And they said that they found him and that he probably was sleeping, but that he was clutching his chest, right, with his left hand, which apparently is a pretty, it's a sign that that's how you went. Yes. That's the hard attack sign. Right.

What they call it is a widow maker hard attack. You have lots of different kinds of hard attack. My grandpa died in one of these. It's just in an instant. Yeah. You just die, right? Yeah. I mean, your heart just stops for whatever reason.

And every time that I wake, every time that I look at my children, I think, please don't let me die of the Widowmaker. Just don't let me die of the Widowmaker, right? That's all I do. I just give me a chance. Like, give me a chance to say goodbye. Don't let me die of the Widowmaker. Yeah.

So I get out there and I'm trying to run because I'm afraid of the Widowmaker. And I figure if I could get these legs pumping some blood up to my heart, that I won't die of the Widowmaker. But my legs don't want to cooperate, Chrissy, because I'm not a three year old-old child being thrown around a room Doing flips upside down and sideways

With my flexible legs. It's unbelievable. I It's all those years of hard living. I didn't lose hard All those sudden drenched days at the pool You mean to tell me what you mean to tell me? The 26 Budlites, Uncle Brian. That's what they used to call me, Uncle Brian, and not in the cute way. And they'll like, stay away from your daughter kind of way.

Uncle Brian. He's not his 22nd Budlite. You might want to keep your daughter away. Who's Brian talking to over there? Oh, college girls. Oh, he's going to break one of their hearts. Yeah, he's going to break one of their hearts. I think they, you know, I, I, I, I lived hard there for him.

You know that cocaine and LSD I did is taking a toll on his heart. In my old age, that's what I'm afraid of. That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that that all of that hard The years that I was partying hard. Yeah, which is only you know, it wasn't a long period. It's like from 14 to 38 I was doing great I mean who doesn't do a half a gram of blow every six hours for 22 22 years? Who doesn't? Who amongst us? Who amongst us didn't take 10 hits of Jesus Christ acid the first time they ever did acid?

That is up! That is up! So yeah, so well, listen, I'm glad that you're over the Omicrome. I'm glad that you've made it through.rome. I'm glad that you made it through You like a true. I'll recover. Yeah, so I'll goes back to Chrissy and I had only intended to take off two weeks Mm-hmm. That's it. Just two weeks. We're gonna take off two weeks We're gonna run a couple of episodes that we had in the can and then we were gonna You know move on and get on to season number three

But then COVID hit and Chrissy got sick for a period of time Yeah, we got delayed doing the studio because people in our circle then had COVID, it just kind of like, it just kind of all was a snowball. And then literally a snowball happened yesterday. It delayed us get another day. You know, Atlanta doesn't get a lot of snow. In case you don't know,

case you haven't figured that one out. Atlanta doesn't get a lot of snow. We've had a couple of huge snow events where people get trapped for like days in their house without power or in their car. That's right. And yesterday I had kind of anticipated that that's what was gonna happen actually.

That's what they made it sound like. The news people around here get fucking crazy. Every time that there's a goddamn snowflake that's gonna come down. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's like a little storm, the grocery stores. This snowmageddon 2022 brought to you by Home Depot and Groger by your milk gets your wood now.

Who needs milk? Who needs milk? Is milk the first thing you reach for? No. No, you reach for the booze, right? And I reach for the water or frosty Coca-Cola or whatever it is. But every time that there's a snow event here.

Yeah, milk and bread. Milk and bread. People go out, they raid the shelves. It's already, it's already desert out there because of COVID. Yeah, the toilet paper, you can't find a fucking roll of toilet paper on here to save your life. I started and I were talking about our life. I mean, that's not actually, you don't need to live. You don't need toilet paper to live. You don't need toilet paper. If everybody would just take a one container of toilet paper, we'd all be able to wipe our asses

and be clean for the other human beings around us. But you jerk off, gotta go and buy 34,000 rolls of toilet paper for what reason? Are you going to burn it if it gets hot? Are you going to eat it if you get hungry? Are you going to use it as a condom if you run out of rubbers? The truth is you don't need that much toilet paper. Your ass is not that dirty

And if it is toilet paper should be the last of the things you're using to wipe your ass Get in a shower like the rest of us do God's toilet paper water And some herbal essence is shit That's how I do it, take my advice. Yeah, in a pinch. People get crazy. Well, then there's the supply chain things too.

Also, that's that, but when we are gonna get snow here, it's like seven days ahead of time, you get that little snowflake on your fucking weather. Oh, I know. And people start talking. They start talking about this. Yeah, they're gonna be snow, they're gonna be snow. There's gonna be snow. Oh, yeah. What's his name? Glenn Burns.

Glenn Burns. Yes. Who's a local famous weather cast for here. He's been on the here since 1922. Yeah. The guy's been in, he wasn't, he was on the talkies. You know what I'm talking about? The guy was doing weather when they didn't have sound on the movies. He's got a long time.

Simon, go on. Good work. He's got a long time. Yeah. he's got to get rid of that two pay. That thing is awful. Just let it fly, Glenn. I love you, but you just got it. He's one of those guys who's got the two pay that's colored a weird. Like you ever see an acoustic guitar? You know the color of the acoustic guitar? That's how his hair looks. It's like a dull orange that no human in their 80s has

a hair color. But Glenn does just on the top though. And on the side, it's purely gray. Right. Yeah. So it's either just for men. I think it's a bad two bay actually. But Glenn Burns gets on and he's supposed to be the experienced weather yes he is the top dog who gives us he's the top dog in the city he's the guy everybody goes to he's the guy you trust right you don't trust that Chesley whatever his name is on the other channel he's only I like Chesley to he's only been here for 42 years Glenn's been here for 72 right and then who's Chris Holcomb right the other guy on the other station right there Chris looks like a baby even though he's 97 years old.

He looks like he just came out of his mom's vagina, right? I don't trust a guy who looks younger than my son, who's three, right? Just saying, so you go to Glen, you turn on that channel and you go to Glen and you say, okay, Glen, give me the straight shit. And Glen, you know, he makes it sound like he's keeping his head on his shoulders.

But he's piping just the same bullshit everybody else is. He's like, well, on Friday, two weeks ahead of time, I see a snowflake on there. Could be a small chance of snow. Start digging a bunker. Get your supplies and your children to grandma's house in California. Certain disaster awaits. This weather report brought to you by Home Depot and Crow.

It's always brought to you by somebody, right? Yes. They plan this shit, and we know this because we worked in radio. When the weather gets bad, run my ads. That's what they do. That's how they do it. Because they know that there's going to be demand. Right.

And then everybody goes out and they buy all the shit they never needed. I was at Home Depot. We were building the studio. I was at Home Depot. We went to Home Depot one day too. We did go to Home Depot together. That's how we did a good job. You want to test a friendship, go to Home Depot? We were building the studio. I was at Home Depot. We went to Home Depot one day too. We did go to Home Depot together. It's how we did a good job. You want to test a friendship, go to Home Depot together.

That's true. That's true. Yeah, Home Depot together. Who did? Oh yeah. We're Brian Looskruz, Jane. Yeah, we have no idea. By the way, all of them are still sitting over there.

Didn't use one of them. Actually, we used one thing. So I got Home Depot by by myself to go get whatever. You know, it's a million trips to home depot. Oh, wood? Yeah, well, I don't know. No, it's like a rope or something, I don't know. But I go there and I park in the parking lot

and I'm getting out of the car. And as I'm getting out of the car, I see a rather pudgely, portly man. He's probably in his 60s, white guy, balding, right? He's got a tummy that I mean just says screams Santa. Michelop's best, right? Bray out. Bray out to Hillmans and break out the best.

He doesn't have a beer gut. He's got a helmet's gut. You know what I'm talking about? Guys have been having corned beef and ham. Corned beef sausage for what to do. Anyway, guy, he's on the other side of the parking lot. He parks in the back of the parking lot in his Dodge whatever, 4180. And he's running, oh, the, running across the parking lot. You know, you're not a white dog. No, no, no, it's a run.

He is running at, yeah, like, I don't know. Like it was, you know, free lap dance night and she'd hurt something. He's just going for it. He's running. Yeah, like I don't know like it was you know free lap dance night I She'd hurt something. He's just going for it. He's running. Yeah, that belly just bouncing in all his glory He's got that little on you know the little scrunder belly just hanging out right on below his shirt and he's running Toward the pile of wood Outside the Home Depot now the pile of wood outside of Home Depot is seven feet high. No There's not a chance that this guy isn't going to get to some wood.

There's no one threatening. There's no one putting in a folk work. You have to be sure. He had to be sure that he got the best wood. And when he got there, he was like, and he's just like, he's looking at the wood. He's picking it up. He's looking.

I'm like, dude, what's the fucking difference with team wood? You're going to burn it. What are you doing? I was thinking. You make a choice, no scars on your wood. Perfect wood. He's got to have the perfect wood. For the first time in Bob's life,

he's got the perfect wood. Yeah, exactly. His wife's been looking for the perfect wood for 42 years also. People get fucking bananas in this town. Yeah. Over fucking snow. So snow then delayed us a little bit more. So I'm wrapping this all back to say that we took off a lot more time than we

intended to. We thank you for listening to eight episodes of the commercial break, the lost tapes. I was struggling to put the last two together. I got to be honest with you. I didn't know what else to call them. You know, it's I know it's not an original idea, but I was struggling, Chris. I was like, we're really running on a material here that we can run. If we have to run any additional material, it's gonna be super offensive.

Right. As we would record some episodes and then just be like, no. We recorded one episode. One stands out in my mind. One stands out in my mind too. It's absolutely terrible. So I'll tell you about it, but we're not gonna get to it. Yes, yes

sex babies sex babies well this episode when the can to There is a fetish out there that is mainly men that like women that act like infants They dress up like infants, they shit in diapers, they piss in diapers, they take formula. It's really weird. At first, we decided to do a whole episode.

We thought this was, I thought this was so funny when I started like actually downloading the video. I was like, God damn, this is gold, man. We're gonna have so much fun with this. We got 13 seconds into that. And both Kristian and I were uncomfortable. We were like, I don't know about that joke. I don't know if I'm gonna make that joke.

Because it's a sexualized fetish. And so what you realize is that it's actually a gentleman who wants his partner to act like a child so he can have sex with a child. This is very... Yeah, now I realize this is not illegal, and you know, whatever you're into, I guess, is cool, but this might be a step too far.

And when I listen... This might be one wrong down on the ladder. And when I listen back to that episode, it is just as bad as you think it is. It is really bad. And we struggled for like 22 minutes of that video. And just like minute number 10, you and I are both like, this is never going to run. Why are we even doing this?

I think you said Brian. Brian, I can't take this anymore. I was like, no, just a couple more minutes we're going to get through it. You just clamped up. You were like, I'm just a couple more minutes, we're gonna get through it. And you just clamped up. You were like, I'm not gonna say anything else. Hey everybody, it's that time in the commercial break for commercial break. It's the first episode of season number three in Chrissy and I are very grateful you decided to tune in.

You can go to tcbpodcast.com. For more information on Chrissy and I, get your free collectible sticker, find all the videos, listen to all the audio, and connect with us on all the social media right from TCBpodcast.com. If you want to follow us on Instagram, it's at the commercial break. If you would like to subscribe to our YouTube channel where we do content, you cannot find anywhere else. Go to youtube.com slash the commercial break subscribe and like your favorite videos, please content ideas you have. You can tell us what a good job we're doing.

You can tell us what a horrible job we're doing. We accept it all at 661, best the number 2, and yo. Now there's going to be a short commercial break if you're ever in the market for our sponsors, products or services. Please do us a favor and use their specialized URLs and codes. It certainly does help us. And if you have any questions, comments, or concerns about the advertisements that we run on this show, we encourage you to text us at 6612378296. We want to hear your feedback. Let us know how you feel.

Also, if you have a moment in your day, please leave us a review and or a comment on your favorite podcast publisher. It really does help grow the show and as a TCB fan, we certainly would appreciate it. And now, a word from our sponsors. Okay, TCB Stoners, you asked for it, you got it. Our first cannabis sponsor of the commercial break. Our episode is sponsored in part by FreezePipe and a huge shout out for sponsoring this episode.

Smoking cannabis doesn't have to hurt, and for colder, bigger hits, you gotta check out Freeze Pipe. Freeze Pipe makes a freezable line of pipes, bubblers, bongs, and more. The secret is this freezable glycerin chamber. You pop one of these chambers in your freezer for about an hour or so, and when you smoke, it passes through the icy chamber and it instantly cools your smoke by over 300 degrees. Check that out. The results will shock you and you'll notice bigger smoother hits without the throat burn or intense coughing. Most people use freeze pipe report way less coughing but everyone reports that

this is the smoothest bong rip they've ever taken. Smoking pot doesn't have to break the bank either. Stop overpaying for bongs that leave you with a dragon throat and come over to the icy side. If you're ready to take bigger hits, without the chest or throatburn, go to freespipe.com and use the code break for 10% off your next order. That's freespipe.com and use the code break for 10% off anything in the store. Freezepipe, our first cannabis sponsor. I know I got a lot of fans out there who loved the partake in many different states

where it's legal, and maybe a few where it's not. We wanna thank Freezepipe. Go get that glistening chamber, make your smoke nice and cool, make your ball and hits nice and tasty. Freezepipe.com, use the code break for 10% off. Fall ride, Freezepipe. What'd you do for New Year's?

Oh, I say it in. You know, we were still recovering a little bit from Omicron. Yeah. Besides, it's kind of amateur life, you know, to go out. I got 200%. So it's amateur night. You didn't watch Andy and Andy. Andy and Andy.

The two Andy's? Yeah. Andy guy wasted. Man, he took it a little too far. He did. He was like, what is he talking about? He was talking shit about that. You're a guy from Journey.

Yeah. I don't get it. And the mayor and I'll go to the mayor's kind of a dumb dumb. So I get that. There's no longer the mayor anymore. Oh, he's not. Oh, that's right. They have someone else.

I get this pairing and I see why it's interesting. And I've watched, you know, I don't know collectively an hour or two of this over the years. Yeah, I get why these two are interesting together So their friends like you you and I are yes, so they they banter is easy back and forth. They're taking shots Yeah, Andy Cohen is the wild one, right? Yeah, he's the kind of a pretty Lebel involved too. I really like her They get patty Lebel Yeah, they're patty or bell. Yeah. I didn't even use the lot. What song did she sing? Is there ever a song? Do you know a song that she sang?

Oh, she's in a lot. I called your bullshit and you didn't eat. You're like, oh, she's in a lot. Yeah, which one? Name one patty LeBel song. Oh. Is it, did you see we're going riding on a freeway? Oh yeah. We're going on in my pink Cadillac. We're going riding on a freeway. Making a living in my pink Cadillac. She's just fine. She is.

I, I funn, anybody who sings this song about pink Cadillac and making love. I went to, I mean, I'm gonna get it. I mean, I had sex'm gonna get a good, good. I mean, I had sex with an Avaunt girl. I mean, a married gay girl. Yeah, a married gay girl. Is that the pink Cadillac?

Yes, the pink Cadillac. Yes, the pink Cadillac. And she literally had a pink Cadillac. It was Cadillac, it was, it was, too cliche. Anyway, so, um. That was really real. You did it? was really real you did I did yeah I did Yeah, you know in the catalog in the pink house she was old when I was a teenager Yeah, not teenagers or maybe I was like 20 years old

I remember I told you I worked in like a string of chilies. Yes, and so I worked at this chilies And they had what they had a position that are called an expediter. Oh right Right, right or you stand at the ticket. Yeah, you stand at the wind. Yeah, yeah, stand at the window and they had a position that are called an expediter. Right, right? Or you stand at the ticket to the island. Yeah, you stand at the window and they collect the food. Like if you go out with somebody and you want to go out with a guy orders a chicken tender basket and you want to off orders, shit your drawers burger, whatever they're selling.

At Chili's these days, you know, the, you know, blue man onion, the art attack onion. Okay. Oh yeah, that's awesome blossom. The awesome blossom. Man, I've had so much awesome blossom in my life, I can't tell you, but anyway,

we used to eat those things, they come back from the table, we just eat them, we'd be like, oh, whatever. After they came back. Yeah, you take a peek at the people, you'd be like, other clean, whatever. We'd stick them up in like near the dishwasher and we'd just eat them all night long.

It was disgusting. Oh, we were kids, we didn't know anything. So the expediter would, if you ordered four separate things, there were certain stations that would make each thing. It was a different cook making, one making salads and one making burgers. So this expediter would take the ticket, put it all together, put it on the tray,

and make sure that it went out to the table at the same time in the order in which it was ordered. So there was this girl, let's call her Angela, right? Angela, at the time when I was 20, she was 32. And she only worked at nights as an odd job. During the day, yeah, during the day she was like, I don't know, whatever the fuck she did, right? I'm not even sure at this point.

She worked in an office somewhere. Okay. She was long, she was tall, she was lanky, she was like, you know, she's pretty attractive. I wouldn't say she was like super hot or anything, but she was pretty attractive. But the second that I walked into this chiles, she was like on my first chip,

the second I walked into this chiles, she was like already smack in my ass. She was on you. She was like a total pedophile, right? She was already smack in my ass. She was on you. She was a total pedophile, right? She was smack in my ass and tickling my nuts. She was like, go get your awesome blossom. Do do do do do do do do. I was a little taken back by her aggressive bit.

But you know what? But then I learned she had a pink catalax. So I did her on the butt. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no wasn't really a drinker at the time. And I was like, yeah, sure. That changed later. Yeah, that, a little bit. So I went to the bar and it was like a big boy bar. You know, the bar that everybody talked about going to,

but I didn't go to because I was in 21. She got me in there because she knew the bartender and the bouncer. We went, we had a good time, we go back to her house, but I'm still a little nervous about making love to an older woman because she's actually gonna know what the fuck is going on. She's gonna know.

That's right, she's gonna know where the arousal department is. And I have no idea. But the arousal department is. I'm 20. I'm at Daddy age where I'm scared of pussy, right? So we go back to her house, I spend the night a couple times. Over the course of getting, she also had a pool table and her own cake,

like her own bar tap down the bottom. She lived with two other roommates and they actually had Samuel Adams beer on tap. And they knew the, one of the guys that worked at Sam Adams, like the beer purveyors. And so they would get a fresh keg every week. You know, like, clean the lines. I was actually there one time when it happened.

He's like, hey man, you want a beer? And I'm like, yeah, let me have a beer. I didn't even know what I was doing. Like, I didn't. Sure, let me get a beer, whatever that is. So as we spend a little bit of time together, one night we go out, we get drunk, we go back to her house.

And I was explaining to her at dinner how much my family loved Walt Disney World. Uh-huh. Yes. We go back to her house. Uh, we go down to her, I go down, she live downstairs, I can down, whatever, I go downstairs and she goes to the kitchen, she goes, I'm going to be back in just a couple, make yourself at home, watch TV, I'm going to be back in just a couple minutes. I got a little work to do. Oh. 30 minutes later, she comes back and she was like, what's your favorite hotel at Walt Disney World?

And I'm like, oh, the Polynesian, right? No doubt. Yeah, Polynesian. We stayed there. I'm almost done with work. I just was curious. Oh, okay, now just thinking about our conversation, I'm curious.

Okay, she comes back 30 minutes after that and she's like, let's go back to your house I didn't get a change of clothes because we're going to Walt Disney World and I was like we're going to Walt Disney World And she's like we are going to Walt Disney World and we're going right now. I'm taking you to Walt Disney World right now I just booked a room at that Polynesian. We got a check-in where you know we can check in tonight Let's go. It's only seven hour drive and I'm like holy shit. She's taking her boy toy to Disney World. She did But I was so scared of having sex with this woman that four hours into the drive,

I told her I needed to go back home. I was so scared of having sex with her, so scared because she was so aggressive as a like a suitor, you know, as someone who was like, Yeah, she was taking charge. She was way taken charge. And I had never been with anybody like that because I'm a fucking teenager.

I don't know shit from Shinola about shit, right? I mean, making love on your dad's basement floor when you're 16 years old is one thing. It's a sloppy, unsophisticated mess. Everyone's, no one's getting off and everybody knows it, no one cares because you're just like, you're just trying to figure it out, right? Yes, yeah.

But now this woman's 32. She knows what having sex is like. And I don't even know that my penis works properly in any vagina, let alone a woman who knows what that penis is supposed to feel like. And I've had sex plenty, just not with people who know what they're doing. That's why I seem so attractive.

It's because I put on the charm offensive and then give them the best half a second of their life. Right. And they're like, whatever, four hours into the drive, I start, I'm like, in my head, maybe it's smoked a little weed, I'm totally in my head. And I'm like, I gotta have sex with her now. I gotta have sex with her.

There's no way I can't have sex. I can't not have sex with her. She's taken me to Disney World. I've got to screw this woman like she's never been screwed before. And I don't know that I can do it. I't think I can do it so I start saying you know panic said in so I'm just like you know I actually have four hours in and here's the crazy thing is that because she was an expediter she was like I thought you were the expediter no she was the expediter she was the expediteriter slash part-time manager, right?

Got it. Yes. So I start telling her, I'm like, listen, I actually have a shift tomorrow night, and it would be really irresponsible of me to not show it to that shift. Meanwhile, I had called out sick to chilies for any reason under the sun.

Anything. Anything. Sometimes I didn't even call in until the shift was halfway over. My tooth fell out, I got a bloody nose, my head stuck in someone's vagina. I mean, like, I just called, I made every excuse. And so I start telling her, hey, listen, I got a shift tomorrow night. I think I got rent due. It's really irresponsible.

No problem. How much is your rent? $7,000. She was like, I got you covered. I don't need more of that. I got your rent. And she's like, that's chilly. I'm taking you off the schedule, taking you off the schedule. I can do that. I'm a part-time manager. Oh, she had the end. Yeah, I was trying everything. Chrissy, this went on for like an hour of the drive. And we could have probably gotten home a lot sooner. Had she just turned around

when I asked her to. But it's... That's awkward. Yes, it's okay. So now, get home. She drives me home. She's upset. Things kind of go weird. As you can see, blue my dog is still here. Just in case anybody's wondering, she didn't die.

No. Because of the pandemic or because of all of this. Still here barking. Yeah. So we, so we at home, she's now she's upset, right? And so, okay. So we're in through all the trouble. That's right.

Fast forward one year, and I have now moved to a different chiles, okay? I moved to a different chiles, and I am bartending. And I'm bartending, and someone comes up to me and says, someone wants to see you in boost number, whatever. I run over there, turn the corner, and it's her. It's Angela, right?

And she's with a man. She's with a man man. Like, and she's like, hey, this is my fiance, David. And I'm like, oh, damn. Nice to meet you. Congratulations. You know, I don't know what you want me to say, but hey, good to see you.

You were kind of weird, you know? Yeah. Your fiance once took me to Disney World. I was nine. Yeah. She literally tried to get me to Your fiancee once took me to Disney World. I was nine. Yeah. She literally tried to get me to sleep with her by taking me to Disney World. That's a telly.

Oh, wow. Okay. So at the end of the night, she, state hangs back a little bit and like slips me her number. She goes, this is my new number. I am now bound and determined that I am going to set this situation straight, right?

She's like, and she was like, I think we're breaking up. Here's my new number. So two weeks later, she called me at the Chili's and I called her, she had broken up with her fiance. Oh, wow. I called her back. She literally pulled up in her pink Cadillac from Mary Kay. She was doing well, then.

That she was doing well. We went to the, uh, we went to the overlook and, uh, we made love. Okay. She was doing well then. Yeah, she was doing well. We went to the, we went to the overlook and we made love. Okay. She never called me again. Yeah. Never once. Never once did she call me again.

Oh my God. I think after all that. Well, I'm glad it happened on the pink catalog and not in Polynesian Resort. Yes. That would have been strange. How do you want me to get home? I don't know, but that's not a dick. I don't know Polynesian resort. That would have been strange. How do you want me to get home? I don't know, but that's not a dick.

I don't know what you call that. What is that thing? Oh my God. Of course. Andy and Andy, I get the whole thing. Yes. But I have to say that the most entertaining thing that happened on New Year's Eve without any doubt

on television had to have been Pete Davidson and Miley Cyrus. And I can't believe he misses it. I meant to watch them but then you know Jeff and I were dancing around drinking champagne. You don't flip the channels? You guys don't flip you just keep it on one? I flipped it at one point. I think I went to like the New Year's rock and eve or whatever. It was all the Ryan C. Crest. That's C. Crest. Yeah, I think I flipped over to his for a little while, but I didn't interest me so I went back. There could not be two more diametrically opposed. So is he Davidson and I have that?

He Davidson, Miley Cyrus, a bunch of musicians, a couple of comedy bits. Pete Davidson looking uncomfortable and strange. He looks like Beetlejuice. Miley Cyrus without a top on, He does look like Beetlejuice. He's got like those big bug eyes. I saw the funniest meme the other day. It was like a guy looking under the bed with a flashlight.

It's like me looking for Pete Davidson after my wife leaves for work. He's all over the place. That guy good for him. He's on a run. He's on an epic run. He is on a run. Like no man I've ever seen since like, you know, I don't know who is one of those old guys who was that guy's name

The Dictrazy guy that Dustin Hoffman Warren Beatty. Yeah Warren Beatty was a notable coxman too Miley Cyrus and Pete Davidson put on probably the most entertaining New Year's Eve I I like Miley. I like Miley a lot. You know what Pete, you know, for a stranger, he is. He just stood there and he was strange. He added to the flavor of the whole situation. Okay.

But Miley lost her top at least three times, which is, you know, that's just Miley. Oh, who amongst us hasn't seen Miley Cyrus making? No, yeah, what you see now? And I gotta say, it's kind of sexy. Like Miley Cyrus is not the most yeah, what you see now? And I gotta say, it's kind of sexy. Like, Miley Cyrus is not the most conventionally good looking woman in the world. She doesn't have that conventional, like, model, symmetric face kind of look about her.

She's not Jen Anderson. Jennifer, Aniston, like the girl next door look. She's got a very unique look. She's sexy as fuck. Yeah, she is. Because she like is 100% in control of her. It's confidence. Yeah, her confidence, her body, her voice, she knows what to do, she knows what to say,

she's not letting anybody get in her way. And that to me is sexy as hell. I agree, confidence is a big sexiness booster. When you lose your top on national TV and you say, and then you go, well, that's the most dress I've ever been on television. That's what she said. It is just sexy as fuck.

And I like Miley. And I will tell you NBC will never again put this show on. Never, it will never happen because it was way too ruckus and raunchy, right? But it was so much fun. And you flip back over to Seacrest, who's doing the same fucking snooze fest that he's been doing for 27 years. That's why I tried not to go back to that then.

I was like, You know what the problem is? You know what the problem is, I think, with Seacrest is that Seacrest got in bed with, I don't know, it might have literally gotten in bed with Dick Clark way back in the day. Yeah. When Dick Clark was doing the New Year's Eve, for those of you that don't know.

Rock and Eve. Rock and Eve. Rock and Eve. No, Dick Clark's New Year's Rock and Eve. For those of you that don't know, it's a really Dick Clark who started this broadcast television doing four hours, you know, from whatever, from 10 until, you know, one in the morning doing this kind of party in Times Square watching the ball drop. It was a Dick Clark production.

And he did it because he had a show called American bandstains where he would break bands. This is the thing that all the teenagers everybody watched every week once a week Dick Clark would come on Saturday nights and he would do American bandstains. In the most popular bands are going to be popular bands. He was kind of like a kingmaker. He would bring the bands on. They would be an American bandstain. Beach boy.

Whoever. You can appoint your sisters, Madonna. Yeah, a lot of people. But then Dick Clark had a bunch of other television shows because he had a production company and one of them was this New Year's rock and e. Seacrest, who's kind of like this guy who's just fallen upward in a process unbelievable. And Seacrest's good for you.

I'm not like, I don't want to argue with anybody else's money. I don't want to lose. I guess he's just'm not, see, Chris, good for you. I'm not like, I don't want to argue with anybody else's money, right? I don't want to. I guess he's just a really hard worker, but yeah, he really got into everything. Yeah, Dick Clark's pants or something. I'm not sure. He's being his art of the Kardashians. He did.

He did. He's done so much. So he gets in bed with Dick Clark, and eventually he bought into Dick Clark production. Yes. And eventually he got, he bought all of Dick Clark productions after, or he, I'm not know, maybe Dick Clark's family still owns some of it, but after Dick died, Ryan Seacrest got past the torch a number of years ago for this New Year's Rock and Eve. I think the problem is is that Seacrest probably feels, first of all, he's older, right?

Then Miley Cyrus or Pete Davidson. So he, he may, he's never been a particularly like edgy kind of now he's never done anything edgy except the Kardashians is not edgy in a traditional sense it's just a shit show that they put on television yeah I think Ryan feels beholden to the way that Dick used to do it like this needs to be it this is an institution we need to do it this way every year go very vanilla put on musicians, have a few crowd interactions, watch the ball drop, make my $15 million get the hell out of it. By the way, I watched that Kelly and Ryan sometimes in the morning.

There is no one on earth who is phoning it in more than fucking Ryan and Kelly. They hate each other. They hate each other. They were really friends. Chrissy, we're really friends. Okay, these two might be friends, but they hate each other on air. Okay. They, one, one, you know, first of all, Ryan's like, Kelly shut the fuck up.

Kelly's, like, she's turning into like a Xanax mom or something. I don't know. She's like this older lady now who's kind of winged bat, you know, dingbat kind of girl who says these Totally crazy things and Ryan's in you know in his house like He's always sleeping. He's always reading the news while she's talking. He's always reading paper You can tell he does no show prep whatsoever people come on. He's got a piece of paper and he'll be literally say Says right here Jennifer An, and you were on friends.

You tell us more about that. What's that like? Jennifer Aniston's like, what's talking about? Says right here, uh, Mr. Obama, that you once were the president. How'd that happen? Like Ryan, come on, and put your heart into it. Give it something. Give'd that happen? That's like Ryan. Come on man, put your heart into it. Give it something, give it like some oomph or something,

but he doesn't. He hates when Kelly talks and he doesn't give a shit about what happens. He is phoning everything. Remember the time he fell asleep in American Idol? Do you remember that time? He fell asleep in American Idol. Some people thought he had a stroke.

One of his eyes literally went in the back of his head and people were like, the point of getting out there were like, is Ryan okay? Yes, he's okay. He's taking his Xanax. He needs a stroke. One of his eyes literally went in the back of his head and people were like just pointing at us. They were like, is Ryan okay? Yes, he's okay. He's taking his Xanax. He needs a nap. He took like three weeks off after that. Yeah, the fox made him take like three weeks off after that because they were like, man, we can't have you fucking non-naught from heroin or whatever you're doing here on live television. Whatever you're doing, don't do it here. Ryan hates his life. He can't fucking get a girlfriend. He's got

a show up at these shows 24 hours a day, seven days a here. Ryan hates his life. He can't fucking get a girlfriend. He's got a show up at these shows. 24 hours a day, seven days a week, he's always working. He's got no time for anything else. And then he's got to do Dick Clark's fucking rockin' New Year's Eve. He's probably what. It's not rockin'. Oh, it's dick, whatever. What is it called?

Ryan Seacrest, who cares? No, I'm sayin' it's not rockin'. It is called the rockin' Eve, but it's not very rockin'. Please, it's not rockin' at all. Is that a band's play? They had journey. That's who they had. Please, it's not rocking at all. Is that a band's play? They had journey. That's who they had.

They had journey. Everybody had journey. Oprah had journey. Oprah, Dr. Phil had journey. Ryan, Dr. Phil, you couldn't get like, you know, little snazza or whatever. You couldn't get somebody to show up that had some relevance in today's society,

but he can't because the people who watch Dick Clark are still fucking watching Ryan Seacrest and he knows that and he's got to go, well, in the 70s, that's about as far as we can get. We can bring it up to the 70s. Every year he's like, I, we can go to 72, 73 because he doesn't want those people to leave and he's got to have some ratings. This is why Ryan Seacrest's rock and cock and fucking Year's Eve, will always be a total snooze fest. That's right.

And I hope, if NBC is smart, this thing was produced by Lauren Markham, Michaels. Okay. If NBC is smart, they will let happen what has always happened with NBC. Let Lauren Michaels do what the fuck Lauren Michaels wants to do. Let him, yeah. He's great.

He's running that network. He should be running that network. Everything he touches is gold. Saturday's a night live is one of the most boring casts I've seen in years. Now we always say this about the new cast, right? But it's one of the most boring casts I've seen in years. And they're still getting fucking ratings out the wazoo

and I got a billion YouTube views. You wanna know why? It's because everyone's in a blue moon. Miley Cyrus comes, drops her top and says, something funny, that's what happens. Pete Davidson shows up and he's like a rock star because he's fucking everything hot on earth. Okay, I'm telling you, let Lauren Michaels do what he wants

to do and keep that New Year's Eve special with Miley Cyrus, it was so fucking good. I mean, I'll watch it now. I mean, yeah, listen, I know that Andy and Andy are tailoring to a certain crowd. I think they're funny too. I like it, I understand, I get it. I get why those two together seems like

an interesting pairing, but it's no understand, I get it, I get why those two together seems like an interesting pair. But it's no longer fresh and new, right? They're now they're just like, like Andy's grasping at things to say that are gonna be controversial and interesting. Like journeys, not journey without Steve Perry. That is true, Steve Perry was the original, but the new guy.

Sounds almost exactly like him. Sounds better than the old guy. Like frankly, the new guy left. So you know what? The new guy left the old guys here. I mean, the old guy left the new guys here. He sounds great. Why not?

I mean, Andy and then people and then it was a news story. Yeah, it was that a news story. Why do people fucking care what Andy Cohen has to say about journey? I don't know. I didn't. I even know. So on Tuesday. No. Apparently, there were people were like

Twittering doing the tweets, doing like made up names as it was scrolling across. Yes. I was pretty good. Well, the thing about the thing that they were getting at Andy was that he actually follows the grateful dead. He's like a dead head. He is.

So he's a dead head. Meanwhile, half that band has been dead for years, and they just keep on fighting new people. I mean, John Mayer is the new Jerry Garcia. Yeah. So him saying that it's not journey without the original singer is it's just stupid. But you know what?

Well, cheers to 2022. Cheers to 2022. Happy new year. You know what? We just spent a half an hour talking about what we watched on TV on New Year's Nights that tells you all you need to know about the commercial break Welcome back guys I just told you what you missed while you were out getting laid doing drugs and having fun

Case you wonder what your parents were doing I just told you Oh my god, I've officially turned into a shithead. Listen to me. I'm like your neighbor. I sound like a neighbor. Oh, did you realize that? We just turned old, Hildi. We did.

But that's OK. I'm thinking of it as wiser. Wiser, maybe. I've done the New Year's parties. They're pretty fun. Yeah. But I'd rather say it at home. I'm rather not throw up in my shoe.

Yeah, I have done that. Better yet, I'd rather not have you throw up in my shoe. I have done that. Oh my God. Okay. All right. That's all good, new studio.

Yeah. Here we are. Okay, here's what's going to happen. Every Tuesday and Friday, you're going to get new episodes. Go to tcbpodcast.com, find out more about Chrissy and I. Watch all the videos, listen to all the audio, you can send us a message, get your free sticker, find us on social media, all right there,

at the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break. Our goal this year is to get you to watch and subscribe to our YouTube channel. That's why we've spent a ton of time, money, and energy to get this studio up in rock and with different camera angles There's Chrissy in the dark. There's Brian Kanna in the dark. Yeah, hey, I smile. You can see my team. That's right. We'll get

Yeah, though, it looks weird We'll get all that shit fixed everything is brand new in season three We're going at a different in season three and and if you're good and if you're nice We'll give you additional content on the YouTube channel, slash the commercial break every single week. And if you're good and if you're nice, we just may give you some additional content on the regular podcast.

So stay tuned, lots of great things coming for season number three, guests, content, games. We're gonna have man on the street interviews, will the, will the champ is gonna go into York and he's gonna do some on the street stuff with us? I love it. Yes, team is gonna go in New York and he's gonna do some on the street stuff with us. I love it. Yes, Tina's gonna be back with some brand new content ideas. And we know that we have a letter from Roxanne.

Yes, Roxanne Reagan. Roxanne Reagan, we know we have a letter from you and we'll open it up on the next episode. We just wanted to get back and ride the bike a little bit if you know what I mean before we start getting into it. But we thank everybody who sent us messages, messages over the break. We love you. Keep on going. And thanks for all the people who are leaving new Apple podcast reviews. That's amazing. I love having my balls sucked on a review. That's amazing. Review us on your favorite podcast publisher. It really does help and make sure you subscribe on the YouTube channel because it also really does help. So I think that's all we can do for today.

All right. I think that's good. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little muscle. Yeah, it's a little muscle. We got to work it back into it. Yeah. We have never taken a month off this show ever. We've never taken more than a week and a half off. Yeah. So this is a long time. It's going to take us a minute to get back into it. I promise you in season number three You'll get that second Frankie B episode because Chrissy. Oh, he took it all down I know All went away all the dating content unless it's like three years old all the dating content I knew dating content went away, but luckily I saved the video before he deleted it Oh, so you'll get that second Frankie B episode if you're looking for it. It's coming your way

So I say this I love you. So I say this, I love you. I love you, Brian. I love you out there in the podcast universe. Best of you, Chrissy. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say, we must say and we do say, Mahi! The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays.

New YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley, with additional content provided by Tina Carnot. Thank you.