The Commercial Break - Tasty Teeners

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

Episode #607: a quest, a test(e), and an Ask TCPenis. A woman with a quest It’s good to have goals Bryan as part of nympho-therapy The Accidental Swingers Tasty Testes Ask TCB The alleged G spot Bryan read a book to the kids Bitcoin Burgers Taylor & Travis The astronauts stuck in space Wasps! Do the broom thing The frog-moth invasion Bryan got scammed at Starbucks Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's a new day. How can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? Earn points on everyday purchases. Use them for that long awaited vacation. Points never expire, so use them how you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. On eligible cards, terms apply. Learn more at mx.ca. I was just saying that sometimes having self-worth is really annoying, because this self-worth thing, it just really stops you from sometimes having a good time. Do you know what I mean? Every day self-worth, every

day know your worth. Sometimes I don't want to know my worth, but sometimes I just want to get my back low now. On this episode of the Commercial Break. Chrissy and I had this theory that pretty soon, you know, a sommelier would come out and put like two little shot glasses. For your balls to taste. I'll take the 1942 Chateau, sir. Fine taste, young man.

Bring it out. Would you like your, would you like to taste it with your teen tees? I'll be dipping my balls in it, sir. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this miserable show, Kristen Joy Hoagley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Kristen, I have disappointing news as we are coming on

air today. The world's most sexually attractive woman has given up her adventure to sleep with 600 men in one year, and I have given up my quest to cheat on Astrid once this year. It's all over. The bid has been given up. We're all going home, fuck. What?

Yes, that's right. Did you not know about this? I did not know. Well, either did I, but thanks to the good people at the New York Post. The world's most reputable magazine. Yeah, hard hitting. Oh, she's Australia's, excuse me.

Australia's most sexually attractive woman has shared an update on her bid to sleep with over 600 people in 2024. I guess that could be women or men. Annie Knight had a goal in 2023 to sleep with 365 people and in 2024 she decided to level up 600 people throughout the year. Last year everyone started talking about me because I was talking about my sexual escapades online and I mentioned how many people I'd slept with and it went viral and everyone

was talking about it. She told the New Zealand's Edge podcast with Clint, Meg and Dan. That doesn't sound like a commercial break wannabe. No, it does. The Edge, welcome to The Edge podcast. Welcome to The Edge with Clint, Dan, and Meg for colored commentary. Oh, he's got to throw a woman in there, Chrissy. And I thought, why not? Might be make a bit of fun out of this. She revealed on September 5th interview, on the September 5th interview, that she had slept with just over 400 people,

saying she was trying to use the dating apps. Yeah. This is Australia's most sexually attractive woman? Ah, ah, I mean, I wouldn't kick her out of bed. Yeah, I mean, she's very attractive. She's very attractive, but is she the most sexually attractive woman that Australia has to offer?

I think that's subjective. I don't know. Is that self-proclaimed? Oh, I think it was voting on it and stuff like that. Yeah. The person had to be okay with being filmed, but they had the option to have their face blurred. They had to say if they've been tested

for sexually transmitted, had to say, I would want that receipt. I'm sorry, but I would. Oh, and send images of themselves beforehand. She said she's really picky and while sometimes she lowers the bar, there's definitely a certain standard for potential partners. I would say so. Her goal to meet 600 people in a year, to sleep with 600 people in a year, means she would need to sleep with 1.6 people a day. But she did reveal there are a lot of days when she simply isn't bothered to have sex. You can't cut people in half. Some days I might sleep with five. The next few days I might sleep with no one. I do get tired, it's exhausting, and I need to take a break. I don't always feel like having sex. She revealed the highest number of people

she had sex with in one day was 16. Cheesy Louise. Well, if you had 16 Brian's, you'd, you wouldn't, you wouldn't miss an episode of Jeopardy. I mean, that's the truth. I mean, it's good to have goals, but it sounds like this one, self-imposed. This sounds like those dumb people who go try and Guinness Book of World Records, like, you know, largest, I don't know, taco pie with cereal on top of it. Like, stupid shit that they just make up to try and break some arbitrary record that no one knows about. 600 people in a year sounds like a lot, but didn't the great Will Chamberlain-

Didn't she say she'd given it up? What's that? Did you say she'd given it up? She'd given it up because she'd reached 400, but it was just too tiring for her. I can only imagine. That girl's got no meat on her bones. She's probably, you gotta go eat a cheeseburger or something. Also, I think Will Chamberlain famously said he slept with a thousand women in one basketball season. I mean, that's like, that's nothing.

She's not, that's nothing compared to what Wilt's accomplishing. I, you know, I like this girl's go-get-em attitude. And you know who needs the thousand bottles of lube? Not Diddy, this girl. This girl needs a thousand bottles of lube. God did he, this girl, this girl needs a thousand bottles of lube. Yeah. That's, I, it's 600 people in a year just seems like a silly arbitrary number to throw out there. And then you're taking a lot of risks. I mean, a lot of risks. Unless you

are like a true nymphomaniac who gets some, you know, derised, derived pleasure out of having multiple random partners at one time. Have you ever met a nymphomaniac? Like a true nymphomaniac? I knew one nymphomaniac, and she didn't want to have sex with me, which I kind of, she kind of made me feel bad. No, I knew one. I knew one, and it was, but she had been diagnosed at that point and it was like a thing. It was a problem. It was a thing. It was an addiction. It was a mental illness. She needed to control it. It was a monster that she had to keep in the box. And so, you know, hanging around me allowed her to keep it in the box. It allowed her to keep her box in her box, if you know what I mean.

Beth Dombkowski You were part of the therapy. Yeah, I was part of the therapy. Meet a really ugly guy with no redeeming qualities whatsoever, then everything will be fine. You won't want to have sex with anybody. But she would tell me stories that there would, it would be like... I've read stories about this. It was crazy. Random guys at bars having having sex in cars,

behind grocery stores. She said- Yeah, dating apps, Craigslist, all that stuff. This is before all of that stuff became prevalent. And she since passed away, but she used to say that- God, that's sad. Yeah, but it had nothing to do with her addiction. It was just, she passed away.

At a young age, it was tragic, for sure. But she just, she passed away at a young age. It was tragic for sure. But she said that she would meet, there would be a guy at a grocery store, like a clerk, a grocery store clerk, or a guy stocking shelves. She said this was one of her favorite places to pick up guys. Grocery stores.

Grocery stores, but the employees who worked there, and then she would tell them, I will fuck your brains out. Grocery stores are a crazy place. Remember the thing we talked about with the swingers who worked there. And then she would like tell them, like, you know, I will fuck your brains out. They really are. Remember the thing we talked about with the swingers, with the pineapple in the, Oh, the upside down pineapple.

The upside down pineapple in the cart. And that would be a notice to other people. There was a famous, They're available. Yes. I don't know how I met this lady, but I met a lady who runs, who has a podcast called the accidental swingers. Now I know how I met this lady, but I met a lady who runs, who has a podcast called

The Accidental Swingers. Now I know how you accidentally swing, but okay, let's take it for what it is. But she's very open about her swinging, she's very open about her love of the community and the swinging. And it's absolutely true that there are symbols and signs to look for, both in grocery stores, in people's houses, on people's front lawns, like Pink Flamingo, apparently. And there is a very famous- Ha!

Oh God, I'm glad I didn't buy one of those last time I saw that. I know. The Pink Flamingo? Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, who is she? Oh, they're kinda cute. Ha ha!

Chrissy's got people knocking on the door. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Uh, someone outside with a megaphone. Hey, you wanna fuck? Hey, we're your new neighbors, Judy and John, you wanna fuck? I saw that flamingo.

So there's a famous neighborhood here in Atlanta, up north, and if you go to, they have a golf course. And they also have a huge pool, and this pool has water slides like an adult area. And there's a reason why they have an adult area. This neighborhood is famous for having swingers live inside of it. Okay, a little community. Yes. And there's a couple different signs and signals you can look for. There's something they put on their door, like a little door hanger on the front door. But then there's

also the pink flamingos are out back where on the golf course you can see them. You know which houses they are. But right outside, have a Publix, outside the neighborhood they have a Publix that basically just serves this neighborhood because the neighborhood is so large and the word on the street is, and apparently it's true, is that if you put the pineapple upside down in your cart, you are actively looking for other couples. You're open for business. You're open for business. You're not in a box. Your box is not in any kind of box. You're ready for business. You're open for business. You're not in a box. Your box is not in any kind of box. You're ready to go. And more power to you.

Cox in your box, ready to go, and more power to you. But Tracy used to tell me about, you know, just approaching guys and she said that, you know, she was denied a lot. Like a lot of guys just got scared by this. They were nervous about what was going on. And a lot of guys were faithful to their wives or to their girlfriends and she was like, I just didn't give a shit either way. I never cared if someone was wearing a ring or had a girlfriend. That never really mattered to me because I wasn't looking for a relationship and very rarely would she exchange phone numbers or any kind of identifying information. She just needed to have sex. She just needed to fuck. She loved the excitement of it.

It was something that just really, like, it was like an addiction. It made her happy. So, she was, and her appetite for this was apparently insatiable. Like, she would go out to multiple grocery stores in a day if she was having a moment, right? And I always thought to myself, geez, wow, that's so dangerous. Like, you're really getting yourself in situations that are super dangerous just to get your rocks off. And I was like, what about a dildo, like masturbating on your balcony or something like that? Like if you want some excitement, if you want some voyeurism, just do something out in a park or something. And she was like, it's just not the same. It's

not, there's no satisfaction in that. That's not the same kind of satisfaction. So always very interesting, but I never had a chance to check it out. Yeah, you didn't. No, I didn't. But this girl, you know, it sounds like she's just trying to, I bet she makes money on OnlyFans. I bet you a thousand dollars. If you're being videotaped, where are those videotapes going? They must be going somewhere. Yeah, why not? I mean, you've got to, I feel like if that's what you're making it your job. For sure.

For sure. To do it. What else, what other time do you have in the day? Like, if you're trying to knock it out twice in a day, and they have to be with random people you haven't slept with before, what else do you have to, like, what other time do you have in the day? I, Jace Astrid around the house, I don't have any other time in the day. I have a hard time getting her to settle down. I need some advice from you and Jeff. I need to start naked cooking.

Naked cooking. Yeah, get yourself a little apron. Put my balls right on that frying pan. Fry up some balls. That's a delicacy. Dip my balls in a tasty teeter? That's a delicacy in some countries. My tasty tees. Do you remember when we did that episode? And I think this was all the rage for like a week during the pandemic that some scientists, some random ass, completely untrustworthy scientists had come up with a theory based on some, you know, loosely based evidence

that he had found that testicles could taste. So, your tasty tiners, your tasty testicles could taste things. And Chrissy and I had this theory that pretty soon, you know, a sommelier would come out and put like two little shot glasses. Heather Fetcher I'll take the 1942 chateau, sir. Fine taste, young man. I'll bring it out. Would you like to taste it with your teen tees? I'll be dipping my balls in it, sir." And you would have a little flap. Right. And you would just...

Just do a little dip. Just do a little... A little dip dip. A little lunge into the wine. What happened to that theory? It was completely debunked by many more reputable scientists who are like- You were going to try it though, weren't you? I was going to try it.

And I never did because quite frankly, Astrid doesn't want me putting my testicles on the good china, but she doesn't want me putting my testicles on the wedding china, and I can't flavor. I mean, I'm up to all kinds of shit around that one. She doesn't need any more shenanigans. No, she, what happened was is that, yes, your testicles have some of the similar textures and receptors that your tongue does, but that does not mean that you can taste with your tongue. It was like totally debunked a couple months later.

Let me see whatever happened to that. Taste with testicles. It comes right up. It comes right up. No AI overview. No people cannot taste with their testicles. While testicles do have taste receptors, they are not taste buds and do not connect to… What does that even mean? What is the fucking difference? I don't understand. I know, right? Between a taste bud and a receptor. They do not connect to your brain's taste center. Maybe it just means, yeah, at least not your head brain.

That's right. Maybe it just means that you can recognize that there is a taste, but they can't taste. Yes. Well, it says instead the taste receptors and testicles are part of a different chemoreceptor system that sends signals to the body about sperm, testosterone, and fertility. Some people have claimed to taste soy sauce with their testicles, but they are likely just smelling it. Their testicles are the soy sauce. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Smell is a major factor in taste, and many people have trouble identifying the flavor of something if they hold their nose. Uh. That's true. And thedermdude.com says, holy smoke dude, your testicles totally have taste buds. Ha ha ha.

The Derm Dude. The Derm Dude. The Derm Dude. We're talking all about dermatology. Are you a Derm Dude? 500, 3000 with your Derm Dude. Derm Dude. He's probably not a dermatologist. There's a certain version of testosterone that's going around in 2024 that make, like the podcast bro

and the term dudes. I mean, okay, I get it. Everyone's settled out. No, you cannot taste with your tiny testicles. Yeah, with your testes. There's no testy taste receptors available to your brain. But for a minute, there was a guy who, you know, a scientist who came out and said that you could, that he had tested. There's so many Ts in here, my tongue is getting all twisted. He had said that, you know, he had done like a blind study and many men had reported. A blind testicle study? A blind test, yes. I didn't know you were a test, he's had eyes. Well, they do, but they're not connected to your brain. They're not on balls. They're on your balls.

They're part of another system. Do you remember when Rudy Giuliani said, facts are not facts? I think we're all getting caught up. I think so too. The facts are not facts. All right, let's take a short break. I think that's enough of that. I'm going to say sorry to the woman who was going to sleep with 600 guys. I was in line. Yeah, there's always next year. I was 599. You're missing out. Let's take a short break and we'll be back.

Calling all pretty, pretty princesses. Yeah, that means you. I've got a favor to ask. If you wouldn't mind, could you just please follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. Not on social media, text us instead at 212-433-3TCB. And if you find yourself wanting any more content from this already content saturated

show, check out our website at tcbpodcast.com. While you're contemplating what hilarious meme to send us, let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. I'm Sally Holm with the podcast History This Week. In each episode, we serve as your eyes and ears into history's biggest events. Major elections. World wars. Scientific breakthroughs.

But we also bring you into the smaller, behind-the-scenes stories. The unsung heroes. Secret meetings. Even personal grudges that changed the course of history. Listen to and follow History This Week, an Odyssey podcast in partnership with the History Channel. Available now for free on the Odyssey podcast in partnership with the History Channel. Available now for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, I got a random Ask TCB.

You want to hear it? I do. Okay. Of course I do. Let's be sensitive. I love interaction. Let's be sensitive about this one. Oh, okay.

Okay. Get on your serious face. Hey, Brian and Chrissy, I'm going to leave my name out of this and you'll understand why in just a minute. I have a penis that curves downward. So, while I think most guys have a penis that curves upward toward their belly, mine curves the other way. It's very pronounced. It's embarrassing to me, and it has caused some of the women I've slept with discomfort. I have seen a doctor about this,

but there isn't a whole bunch that can be done. Any advice on how to handle this with future mates? No, no, I don't. I don't, no, quite frankly. I'm completely out of ideas. No, I didn't have advice. Can't you train it? Can't you put like a, you know, you know, like when they want a tree to grow straight

in Disney World or something, they put a big stick next to it and they say, hey, grow this way. Yeah, it seems like they would. Yeah. Can't you do that? Like a special underwear device. Yeah. There's gotta be some kind of metal rod they can insert in there or something.

I don't know. Since you don't know, since you, I don't have your name, I don't know. I don't know what to call you. Let's call you Mike. Mike. I don't know. Since you don't know, since I don't have your name, I don't know. I don't know what to call you. Let's call you Mike. Mike, I don't know. That's gotta be terrible. I have, mine also curves downward, meaning it just never goes up. It's just always pointing down. But that's a whole different low T problem. Yeah, listen. I think it's just, you got to communicate. I had a friend once, he had a penis that moved to the right. And so it was called Peyronie's disease. I think it's what they call it. You see commercials about it all the time now. Peyronie's disease is an embarrassing curve to the right or to the left. And it can happen over time. Also, like, mine doesn't do that, but I apparently, it can just go that way. I can,

I heard you also can break the tissue in your penis. Like, you can literally snap a penis in half, which has got to be terrible. And trust me, I have felt like my penis is broken. So, any guy who has had a woman on top of him riding hard knows the feeling of slip out and then bang down and how bad that can hurt. But I don't know. And I would just think you just have to, like, reverse cowboy it with somebody. Yeah, there's gotta be some kind of position that works. Like, if it's not comfortable to do it face to face, belly to belly, maybe back to belly? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. There's gotta be some woman in this world, their anatomy, because you know that the sensitive part, the supposed G-spot that's magical that Brian's never found but supposedly

lives out there in the world somewhere, is like this alleged G-spot that allegedly lives inside of a vagina that I've never touched according to most women. Oh my God. But it's like, you know, on the top of the cervix, like where the pubic bone is inside, it's like a soft palate, like little thing. It's like the top of your, feel the top of your mouth. That's like, that's my G-spot. And I'm doing cream and cereal. Like right there. So, theory would have it. Oh yeah, there's definitely positions that you could do. I could think of one right now.

So yeah. Chrissy can think of one right now. She won't mention it here on the show. Twist them around. Just twist people around. Twist bodies around. Twist them around. To where it works then. I said this to a class of four-year-olds the other day, not this about pronies disease,

but I read a- That's good, but you were not talking about the curves. Thank you. I want to make it clear. I want to put the clear line in the sand here. Penises, yeah, your child's- I read Harvey, Harvey the Heart Has Bad Farts. That's what I read.

I read a book to the kids and the basic book was everybody's different and everyone has something different about them, special, unique, and it may seem weird or disgusting or odd or, you know, not so cool to some people. But then Harvey the Heart meets Circle, and Circle also has bad farts, right? So they go running around tooting with each other. It's a beautiful kids book. You should read it. I highly recommend. Tasty T and his soy sauce friends and Harvey the Heart has bad farts. Turn bro. Yes. And if you're looking to make it, go to your doctor and say, hey, if Harvey the Heart had bad farts, I could have a downward curving penis. But listen, here's the point

is that he found somebody that liked him just the way he was, even though his embarrassing condition made him a little bit of an outcast in most of the world. There was somebody who connected with him on that level. And so, what I'm saying is there's got to be some lady out there, some young lady, who really enjoys you for just you. If there's no medical treatment for this- Lady or man, I guess we didn't clarify that. That's true. Well, he said the girls that I date. Oh, the girls, okay.

But here's the thing. Maybe try a man. Hey, there you go. That might be the... Sorry, Diddy's freak ops are no longer an option, but you know, too soon? Too soon. All right. know, too soon? Too soon. All right. I would think that if they have medicine that can correct Peyronie's disease left or right, they can also correct backward or forward, bad curves. Also, so I think you need to go see a doctor because maybe the last thing that you tried, or the last time you went to the doctor, maybe they weren't up to date on all the things, or try another doctor.

There's got to be some, if you want to fix that, but sometimes, listen, sometimes it's- Just be you. It's just be you. Be who you are. I dated a girl once who had one breast. True story. Oh yeah. Yeah. One breast, because the other one, she had had a mastectomy for breast cancer. And she chose never to get, she had a small chest in general, right? Like size A or size AA or whatever it was. So she chose never to get the implants because she felt like it was a good reminder of how precious life is. It was a really, for her to tell it, it was really beautiful. For me to tell

it just sounds like I'm talking about girl with one boot. But for her to tell it was a really beautiful reminder to herself. And she said, and anybody who's going to love me is going to love me the way that I am. And you know what? I cared for her a great deal for the time that we dated. I care for her a great deal. And after like two seconds, I did not give a shit. It did not matter how many boobs she had. I liked her for who she was. I say this to say that someone's going to like you for who you are. Doesn't give a shit that your penis goes downward. Who cares? It's all right, that's all good. We all have penises, they all… Everybody has a penis, all right? Some smaller than others. Chrissy's got a penis that's tiny. It's called a clitoris, but it used to be a penis, or would

have been a penis at some point. All right? So, just, you know, go on with life. And if you don't like it, if it's that bothersome, go see a doctor. I'm sure there's something that can be taken care of. Don't you think there's like some magical thing that they can do? Some kind of surgery, penis pump, something? I don't know. That's got, there's got to be some, something. It seems like there's something out there because I feel like I keep reading about, I mean, and the magical world of men's health, it's way progressed. Yes, yes. Way progressed, far beyond women's at this point.

So yeah. Okay. Uh, Peyronie's disease, Peyronie's disease is a scar tissue in the penis that cause curve painful erections. Oh, that's a scar tissue. Scar tissue. Uh, penises vary in shapes and sizes and having a curved erection isn't necessarily cause for concern.

In Peyronie's disease, the bend is significant and may occur along with pain or interference in sexual function. Medications or surgery may be recommended if the symptoms are bad enough or persist or worsen. How long does, it takes a couple of years. Oh, well, I don't think you have Peyronie's disease. I don't think you have scar tissue. I think you may have been born this way. According to the very small amount of text, get out there in the world, Mike. Go live your life, bud. Get after it. You know, you could get one of those Volkswagen's that you could have, you know, one of those Volkswagen's you have sex with and practice in different positions. And that way, when you get an actual

female in bed, then you know all about it. I'd say go to the 21 convention, but I don't think that's going to help you not one bed. I don't think that's going to help you not one bed. Oh my God. I saw a whole Comedy Central thing about Adam. What was his name, Adam? Adam Lyons? No, no. The one that's now head of the crypto. Oh, the guy that we... The same guy? Yeah. They did it?

Oh, they did it. Yes. And then they also highlighted the other guy that is part of him, and he is some scammer that has said that he could rap shit and piss and sell it. I was going to do that guy also, but it's not even worth our time. It really isn't worth our time. No, that guy just seems like such a douche. They're both scam artists. And nobody-

Who better to run things? Yeah, who better to run things than a guy who says out loud, I am a con artist. I am a con artist and I- I can just, because people are idiots and will buy it. It's unbelievable. And then God bless America.

Whoever you're gonna vote for, go out and vote. That's all I gotta say. But at the end of the day, Trump does not know the first thing about Bitcoin. He told somebody on, I saw this on a television interview that was live to other human beings out there on earth, were actually watching this, where he said he had gone like after the big crypto event where he announced crypto and he said he had, his son had three wallets. They're Bitcoin, they're talking about the wallets, all the wallets. I don't know what they are, but there's wallets and everyone's got a

wallet. Like it or not, we got wallets, right? And then he goes into a burger shop in downtown Manhattan and he, it's, this burger shop is all crypto themed and he buys a cheeseburger with his new Bitcoin wallet, right? And so then he gets on TV a couple days later, and somebody asks him about Bitcoin, and he says, I don't know, I'm the first guy to buy a hamburger with Bitcoin. That's what they tell me. It's the first transaction in history around Bitcoin. And it's like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's the first transaction in history around Bitcoin? Are you honestly have any clue? So then the guy asks them, do you know anything about Bitcoin? The guy goes right out, do you know anything

about Bitcoin? He goes, of course I do. I know more about Bitcoin than most people. It's like, oh my God, dude, please. It's so transparently transactional. I just don't get it. I just don't get it. I don't get it. But hey, listen, I'm not all politicians stink in some way, shape or form at the end of the day. But it's like the lesser of two evils. Here's the other thing that I have been dying to talk about, dying to talk about with you, Chrissy, is Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. And the word on the street is that they have manufactured their relationship and they are manufacturing their breakup to swing the election. Have you heard this?

This is the new one that's out on the streets. This is the new one that's out on the streets. They're manufacturing a breakup. This has been years in the making. Yes. This is all years in the making. They knew back then and now they know now and then they're going to manufacture it. It's going to swing the election. It's going to swing the election. I mean, people are so far out there. What are they thinking?

I know. Did you notice the Flat Earth people went away though? Yeah. Yeah. Did you notice that? I thought to check up on the Flat Earth people. You know, during the pandemic, that Flat Earth society exploded in popularity. Yeah, we did a couple of shows about it. Yeah. And there were like NBA superstars.

I'm not going to mention them because I think they have changed their mind. That's so good for you. But NBA superstars who were like involved in this, they were like, oh yeah, Flat Earth, how do you know? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so, but the Flat Earth Society went away. That guy Mark who was running it, I mean, I'm not sure it's not totally away.

Well, I would think too with now, now it's not just NASA that's going up into space. It's SpaceX. Now it's all of the other ones too. Yeah, their favorite buddy Elon all of a sudden. Yeah, he's in there, so, you know, now I think there's a lot more actual evidence like you needed it, but anyways, if you did, there it is.

Yeah. I mean, I was like reading about some of these, like the new conspiracy theories that are online. I'm not going to get into the fresh conspiracy, the hot off the presses conspiracy theories, and I'm not going to get into most of them because quite frankly, they all revolve around politics, you know, like 90% of them revolve around politics and who you see is supposed to be the winner and what you're supposed to see is the loser. And listen, it's on both sides of the aisle, by the way.

It's not just people who are voting for Trump. There's some people out there in the Democratic Party who are also Looney Tunes that, you know, this guy who tried to supposedly assassinate Trump on his golf course was, you know, he was actually a member of the club and they told him he's going to be a millionaire if he just sits there. I think it's a member of what, that club? That club?

Yeah, the Trump club. Yeah. I mean, he seems like a guy who'd be a member of the club, but listen, that he's a member of the club and he's just, it's just so they're trying to swing Trump's popularity and all this other stuff. I mean, the Democrats are just as susceptible to this as the Republicans are. I guess human beings in general are susceptible, as susceptible to this. But one of the ones that is really getting me that I read about, which is not politically

related, but that the two astronauts who have been stuck up there at the space station, they have been chosen to repopulate the world after Armageddon. Nicole Zichal-Bendis Well, they might be the two that are left after everything that's happening in the world right now. Jared Slauson I think they're a little old and I'm not sure anyone's given birth in space, but okay, all right, cool. All right, that's cool. Nicole Zichal-Bendis Yeah. Jared Slauson That all the people that are up there right now,

and the two other people, I was listening to this, this is true. They're going to have to send the Dragon X to 564703 up to whatever it is. Yeah. They're going to send it up there to go rescue them. And so Dragon X or Dragon was supposed to have four people that were going to go to the space station. Now they're only going to have two people so that they can have four that come back. So not only

is, are the two people stuck up there until the Dragon gets there, but then they're stuck up there and they have to wait until the other two astronauts finish their mission to come home. So we're talking February of 2025. That's what I had heard before. And so, I am just freaking out in my own head. Thinking about yourself. Yeah, maybe this is like the hyperparathyroid, because it does cause anxiety. That it's just like, you know, I'm going crazy thinking about these two stuck up there and stuck up there

and stuck up there until I saw this video, and I think it was Neil deGrasse Tyson, who was like, stop using the word stuck. They train for this. They have food and water and air conditioning and heat, and they're living in a relatively nice space for outer space. And they can float around and they have friends and their social interaction and they get telephone calls and they have videos and they can watch Prime. Right, they can're not. Some one of those astronauts a while back said that they rewatched like all of Game of Thrones while they were up there. So yeah, you can.

Yeah, they beam it up there, you know? Binge your shows. Amen. And so now- In peace. Yes, as scared as I am to go to space, now I'm thinking send me to space. It's a vacation. Yes, until my surgery send me to space. It's a vacation. Yes, until my surgery, send me to space.

I need some peace. Just some downtime. Yes, I need some downtime. I need to just have some chill. That's what I need. I need some chill in my life. So then it reframed the way that I was looking at this. Good.

And that's the truth. That's the way to get rid of anxiety and reframe. And then there was this other guy who did this space thing, and he said, no, they're not stuck, just like Neil deGras and he said, no, they're not stuck, just like Neil deGrasse Tyson said, no, they're not stuck. And let me also tell you that these two were test pilots, fighter pilots. They saw combat, they saw action. They've been at this, maybe their last mission in space because they're experienced astronauts. They trained for this. I think it would be my last time. Oh, yo, fuck, yeah. No, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice.

Yeah, I mean, I would be like, no way. Right, I mean, I guess down on Earth, it could be like, yeah, you're not maybe stuck because you're in California. But do you wanna go back after you can't get home? Fuck no. If you can't leave voluntarily for months. I think this is gonna cure them

of any astronaut fever they had. Because if I expected to go up there for two weeks and I ended up staying there for almost a year, I would be mortified, I really would. That's just miserable, miserable. But maybe for them it's not. Maybe for them this is like the best thing that ever happened. Yeah, it could be a good opportunity and I think think they've said that this is an opportunity for us to

continue doing experiments and looking at things. Oh, has anyone talked to them? Have people talked to them? Yeah, yeah, they're in communication with them. I mean, I know somebody's talking to them, but like, have we talked to them to make sure they're okay? I thought they'd get them on the show. I don't know if Oprah's talked to them, but yeah, people are in communication with them. She don't know if Oprah's talked to them. Seems like Oprah is talking to everybody. Maybe that would be next.

Hey, listen, for sure. Speaking of conspiracy theories, there's one about like Tom Hanks, Oprah and, you know, who's that, Gale? Yes. They're all in some secret cabal to do something. And so, they were in each other's company, Gale, Oprah and Tom Hanks. And Tom Hanks had this weird mustache for movies playing. And he was, they took a picture and he's holding up a sign and it says, I'm not allowed to speak. I love it. He played right into it. That's great.

All right, Onward and Upward. We'll be right back with more of whatever this is. Look, I only just started following the commercial break on Instagram too and that's on me. But you need to follow us at the commercial break on Instagram and at TCB podcast on TikTok. I know that you are not sick of hearing that and you never will be right. Something else you're definitely not sick of hearing is our phone number 212-433-3TCV. So text us or call us, but be nice to me, because I'm a highly sensitive person and I just can't take the fame.

If you want to be nice to me on another platform, you can go to our website, tcvpodcast.com, and actually you can just watch videos of Brian and Chrissy and listen to them all day long, and I know that that will be the best day of your life. Now let's listen to someone who's actually very, very nice to me, and that's our sponsors. And let's get back to the show. Oh, man. Speaking of conspiracy theories, I just opened up Facebook and I haven't opened it up in weeks.

And the first thing it says is, P Diddy once wrote a book about adrenochrome. What? Adrenochrome. What is adrenochrome? I don't even want to get into it because I'm sure that then we won't be able to run advertisements on this show because it's like so far out there. It has to do with little children and just don't even worry about it. If you know, you know. If you know, you know.

If you know, you know. If you know, you know. And listen, it is what it is. If you know, you know. Okay, I won't investigate further. Oh my God, so I gotta tell you about something that happened this weekend. Okay. Did you attack the wasps further?

Oh, I did attack the wasps further. I got after the wasps. The pool is greener than it's ever been. I was like, getting out of the shower the other day or something. I was like, I wonder if I ever checked back in with the wasps. I did. I went back, I sprayed two full bottles. There was like, the nests were kind of like

a third covered, you know? So the wasps were trying to get into the other part of the nest. And it says on the back of the bottle, they'll try to do, like, you have to cover the whole nest or they will try and, you know, do it again. They'll try and get in there and fix what they, fix what's broken or whatever. I don't know if they fixed what's broken, their wasps, I don't know if they do that. What do they, Daniel the wasp? Hi Brian. Yeah. There's one with a little, a little hammer. Yes. So, I'm, you know, so I go back there and I could see that a third of each of the one are covered

because I sprayed it directly above my head and it started falling into my eyes and then I ran out of there. Well, there were some wasps that were like, you know, around the nest and you have to, apparently you have to get them like either right when the sun rises or during that twilight hours, like the hour that the sun's going down because that's when they're least active. And so there were some angry- What about at night? I don't know, I'm not going to try that at night. I can't see them, I don't know. I can barely see at night myself. I don't know. They must be like apex predators out there waiting for Brian. Okay. Point taken.

Yeah. So I went out there and I got a different angle. I got up on a ladder, got a different angle and shh, shh, shh, and I got them, the whole nest all covered. And then I went out there yesterday to find that there were no more wasps, the they were completely covered in like this weird foam. And so now I guess you have to knock them down. That's the part I'm scared of, the knocking it down part. I really don't want to have anything to do with it, but I guess I will. I guess I will. What are you going to get like a broom thing? Yeah, that's what you do. You get a broom thing and you knock it down. Yeah, that's what you do. You get a broom thing and you knock it down. That's very scientific. It's all very wasp science. There's a lot of wasp science that goes into it. And I've

been watching YouTube videos that all say, do the broom thing. Yes, do the broom thing. They don't even know what to call it. It sounds just like me. The broom thing. Do the broom thing. Do the broom thing. Lauren Ruffin Well, that's good. And you're able to report back to Astrid now and say, look what I did, I was able to do. Jared Slauson Yes. Look what I was able to do. Lauren Ruffin Nothing else. Jared Slauson Well, Astrid's so proud of me. Well,

Astrid comes in the house yesterday and I was out, like the whole day I was out in bed. I just, I didn't have it in me. I was really feeling terrible on Sunday. And so Astrid comes home, she had taken the kids out, she comes home, and she goes, oh, honey, I need you to help me with one thing. She got this look on her face, which I know it's a bug, an animal, a creepy crawly. It's that look, right? It's that look that please help me. Astrid needs no help in anything else except for this. She does not like creepy crawlies, bugs, or any kind of animal except for a dog, maybe.

And I was like, okay, what is it? Where is it? Like, where's the roach? Where's the spider? And she goes, there's a frog in the playroom. And I go, a what? And she goes, there's a frog. And I go, a frog?

How did it come in the house? And then I'm thinking, a frog? How did it come in the house? And then I'm thinking, oh my God, did it come in on my shoe? Yeah. Like, did it literally travel in the house with me and I didn't notice? Well, you didn't. As my parathyroid fucked me up so much

that I'm not noticing frogs are hitching a ride in the house on my shoe. And so now I'm all nervous that there's like some frog hole in our house or something, like some frog escape hatch. A frog tunnel? Yes, a frog tunnel. And so I was like, no, there cannot be a frog in the house. That's really weird.

And so I go over and she's like, it's over there, it's over there. And I think it's dead, it's over there. And I'm like, it's dead? What? And I walk over, it is a fucking moth. It is not a frog, it is a moth. And I'm like, Estrid, that is a moth. It's a dead moth. It is not a frog. It is a moth. And I'm like, Astrid, that is a moth. It's a dead moth. And it looks nothing like a frog. Nothing. Not a thing like a frog. There is no frog I've ever

seen that looks like that. It's got wings. Which frog do you know has wings? Nicole Soule-Northam She didn't get close enough to see. Jared Soule-Northam No, she didn't get close enough. Nicole Soule-Northam No. Jared Soule-Northam Okay, so this weekend, so it's become a little bit of a tradition that on the weekends, I'll take some of the children to go up to Starbucks and they can have like a cupcake or whatever they have up

there, whatever bakery item they have up there and have a juice and it gives Astrid 30 minutes to an hour to just do what she wants, depending on how long we have. And I can go sit up there and we all chit chat and have fun, do this whole thing. Little daddy time. Aw, yeah. Little daddy time.

So we're gonna do this. Let's go, come on everybody. You know, wake up, take a shower. Come on everybody, let's go, let's do this whole thing. Little daddy time. Oh yeah. Little daddy time. So we're going to do this. Let's go. Come on everybody. You know, I wake up, take a shower. Come on everybody. Let's go. Let's do this. Okay.

Everyone's all excited. We get to the Starbucks. We get a little seat. Everyone's on the bench. We're having fun. Everybody says, Brian! Oh dude, everybody. Where do you walk in?

Yeah, I know. My kids are always asked the same question. How do they know your name? How do they know? I go, daddy has secrets too. Your mom's not the only one with secrets. And in the corner of my eye, who do I see? I see the lady that asked me for a cup of coffee that then ordered some Mopa Frappa fucking Chino that was $12.99 without ever thanking me and out of her without asking me.

I don't know about this. Do you remember this? You don't remember this? No. Was this when Tina was here? Maybe? Maybe. Might have been. Yeah, because I don't remember that. There was a lady I was sitting outside, there was I was on the phone. And there was a lady who came outside came up to me and asked me for a cup of coffee. Or she asked me, could she have some money? She needed a cup of coffee. And I said, I go, I'm sorry, I don't have any cash on me. And she goes, but you have a debit card, right? Or a credit card? And I was

like, yes. And she goes, you can't buy a cup of coffee? And at this point, I was like, Brian, be nice. Just be nice. It's a cup of fucking coffee. This lady obviously needs it. I've seen her at the Starbucks before sitting in the corner with multiple bags and, you know, sometimes disheveled. Like, obviously she's not having the best of times. It's a fucking cup of coffee. Even if she's being a little rude about it, it's a cup of coffee. So I go up and I say, can I, to the person that I know, can I please have a cup of coffee for this young lady, give me a medium cup of coffee for this young lady, and I'll take what I normally get. To which the lady says, I'm sorry, I'll order. And she goes, I'm going to take a

double fropa, mappuccino, Trenta with extra sugar and two squeezes and three things and pumpkin spice, and it's okay. And then I go, oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said a cup of coffee. And she goes, she goes like this, she goes, it's only a couple dollars difference, it doesn't matter. And I was like, oh, okay, all right. Okay, all right. And now I'm feeling a little perturbed. Well, right. And the girl behind the counter. Yeah, the kindness.

You're being kind and paying for somebody's coffee, which is fine, but then they go crazy. Then they go crazy. Give them an inch, they take a mile. And then she goes, and I'll take a sandwich, to which I said, no sandwich. Coffee's good, right? And she goes, it's only a couple dollars. And I said, I know, but it's my couple of dollars. And I asked, you asked for a cup of coffee, to which I said, yes. Right? And this lady never said thank you.

God, she's never thanked you. She turned around, she waited at the end of the bar for her drink. She never said thank you. She never said a word. The lady at the counter explained that she sees her in here often. This is something that happens often, she is always asking everybody for something, and she gets upset when they're not willing to do it. She's like, but there's nothing I can do, because she essentially is a paying customer, even if somebody else is paying, right? And she's like, I'm trying to give her some grace.

She's obviously either homeless or just not having a good time of it. And I agreed with her, and so I just let it roll off my back. But never again, right? Never again. You got your one chance with it. And I agreed with her. And so I just let it roll off my back. But never again, right? Never again. You got your one chance with me. Like if you would have said, thank you, there's another guy who's up at Starbucks all the time, including on Christmas day for the last three years in a row. And I have bought him, I don't need to share this. It doesn't like fucking matter. I'm not trying to like give myself a pat on the back, but he is a super sweet gentleman and he's really down on his luck and he may not be

all mentally there and I buy him breakfast, you know, because I just want the guy to have like one special thing in the day, like one thing in the day that he can smile about, even if it's a fucking croissant and a cup of coffee, right? Because I have multiple things to smile about in the day and that makes me, that puts me in a different category, right? I just want him to feel it. Whatever. Anyway, that lady in the corner, I haven't seen her. She's there. I got all my kids and we're pretty much the only two people in here. There's maybe one or two people smattered across the large Starbucks that we go to. And she, I look up and then she looks at me and no shit. That lady stands up and she starts heading my way.

And I'm like, okay, I got my kids in front of me now. What do I do? And she comes up and she goes, excuse me, can you buy me a cup of coffee? And I said, and so I stood up and I said, come here for a second. I go, do you remember me? And she goes, I have never met you in my life. I don't have any idea who you are. And I go, you actually asked me for a she goes, I have never met you in my life. I don't have any idea who you are. And I go, you actually asked me for a cup of coffee a couple months back, and then you

ordered something completely different. And then you ordered a sandwich. And I said, and not that it fucking matters at the end of the day, but you never even said thank you. And she goes, so are you going to buy me the coffee or not? That's what she said. And I said, I'm sorry, not today. Right? And I said it away for my children because I didn't want them to think I'm like being a total prick to somebody, even though at the end of the day, I am being a total prick right now because you can't be bothered to say, thank you for a cup of coffee. I'm not trying to sound entitled because I really am not. I'm not entitled to anything. My credit score is 200. I'm not entitled to shit, but this was really... Well, that's got to be like a mental illness that I've just known.

I gotta imagine. And I was just so, so like torn. And so anyway, so we're sitting there, we're having our thing, you know, my kids don't say a word, they're just like off in their own little world, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada. And so we get up to go, the lady's still there in the corner. She's now approached the other two people that are sitting in Starbucks, and obviously they said no too, because she did not get her cup of coffee, right? And so we go about my day,

and then we're just about to leave the door, and I go back and I tell the lady, I tell the lady to run my card for a cup of coffee and give it to her after I leave and don't tell her who got it for her. But that way you were able to control it too with like, here's a cup of coffee, an actual cup. Yeah, I just at the end of the situation, I was like, Brian, don't be a fucking dick. You are a fucking dick.

I know you're a dick, but don't be a dick this time. Like, try not to be a dick this time. You know what I'm saying? So, I don't know. Well, you're not a dick at all. What would you have done? I, you know, I think I probably would have done the same thing. Yeah? Yeah. Would you have bought her the cup of coffee the second time?

I think I might would have gone up and just ordered an actual cup of coffee and then given it to her. Yeah. I didn't even think about it like that, to be honest with you. I just thought about whether or not I was being mean or not nice to someone that was obviously down on their luck. But just because you're down on your luck doesn't mean that you have to be like completely not a human, right? Right. You can say thank you. And yeah, maybe she does have mental illness problems I don't know about, but she certainly seems okay enough to go up and ask people for a cup of coffee. Like she seems with it enough to ask for a cup of coffee and then order her favorite rapid map of Pac-Potino.

It was like a $10 drink. It was like $7. that. I don't know if it was or if it wasn't, but when I get to the pearly gates, Chrissy, I'm looking at stereo God. If you go in and you see her, then just get back in the car and go to the driveway. Oh, next time I'm gonna be like this. She didn't even remember who I was. I think this is just such standard operating procedure. At this point is walk into the Starbucks

and ask other people. Yeah, admit something to you at the time, but maybe not to her. Yeah, exactly. And I think that's, you know, you read about the, you know, sometimes I see people on the street corner or at the shopping center or whatever, and they're so, it's clear that they're having a tough time

and if I can do it, I will do it. How many people, you know, it's just part of being a human fucking being, right? But then sometimes I see those guys out there for weird organizations on the court, like in the middle of the traffic, you know, the huge traffic lights and they're like, jingle, jingle, jingle.

We give to the Boys Tiger Association and you're like, oh yeah jingle jingle. Oh, yeah. Will you give to the boys Tiger Association? And you're like the boys Tiger Association We help underserved Tigers and it's like what? Yeah, Tigers. Did you ever watch that show? I did ah, I Did and it was insane. Yes. It wasn't fine. We'll talk about I won't talk about two shows. We'll get to it We got lots more to come We'll talk about it. I want to talk about two shows. We'll get to it. We got lots more to come. Once again, we'll give our maya copa for those who were supposed to be at Daniel Point or Orlando this week. We're very sorry we didn't come. Check out episode from Wednesday for more of an explanation

as to why we didn't come. Has to do with my health. And hopefully allow me to grace to go have surgery and get better. And then we'll go to it, that's the main, that's the first thing. That's it. All right, tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go. More information about the show, about Chrissy and I, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. Also get your free TCB sticker.

I mistakenly said you could have two stickers. Astrid only wants to give one. All right. Okay. All right. Only give one. Astrid's being. All right, only give one. Astrid's being cheap. So blame it on her, right her.

212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, we take them all there. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, and youtube.com slash the commercial break. For all of our interviews and selected episodes, like to thank Jay Farrell for coming in. I love you. I love you. Best to you. And best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Kirstie and I always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I take a dick and keep on lickin'.