The Commercial Break - TCB Classic: Gallbladder Edition

Episode Date: September 11, 2026

TCB is a The Commercial Break LLC production Visit: www.TCBpodcast.com Insta: @thecommercialbreak Bryan Green on Insta: @BryanWGreen Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Created by: Bryan Green Written by: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley Produced by: Astrid Green & Gustavo Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You know, I want to thank the very few of you, and I mean the very few of you, who have decided to reach out to make sure that I am okay after major surgery. I mean, come on, guys, I'm on my back, I'm cut open, I got doctors poking and prodding, I got CO2 gas filling up my belly, and no one, and I mean no one, gives a shit. Well, we'll see how eager I am to contact you during your time of health need. But to the few of you that did reach out, I want to say I'm feeling terrible. Surgery went well, but I'm feeling terrible. I'm a big baby.

This just goes to prove it. It's my second major surgery in three years, and I would gladly take getting my neck cut open versus getting my belly cut open any date of the week. If you've had pieces of your belly removed, then you know just what a pain in the ass it is to recover. So even though I'm here yapping away on this best of, it'll be the only yapping I probably do today.

I'm going to tell Astrid I still don't feel well. I'm going to get my spray and crackers. I'm going to go into my room, and I'm going to lock the goddamn door. because my health is more important than anything else that's going on in the world. And that includes the commercial break. But Chrissy and I will be back shortly. We will be back shortly. This will not last for long. I do promise you that much.

So bringing it all around, to the few that checked in on me, I'd love you very much. Despite being an agonizing pain, I will be okay. To those of you who didn't even remember that I had surgery, well, fuck you and the horse you rode in on. But please do tune in tomorrow and download the newest episode. Okay, here's the best of. Not quite sure what I'm playing here, but I'm too sick to care. Enjoy this TCB classic episode. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottle of my home.

Wish you a Merry Christmas. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottle of my home. The next episode of The The commercial break starts now. Oh, my God. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.

This is my elf on the shelf. Chris and Joy Haudley. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Hope you're doing well. Enjoying the 12 days of TCB. Actually, I think it's the 20 days of TCB. We've decided.

We've counted all of the episodes in a row. I think it'll end up being somewhere around 20. And you are officially the winners there, the listeners. We are in a purgatory. But at least we're in a nice purgatory. We're here in our comfortable brand new studios. I do like sitting back a little bit like this. It's better than leaning on the table.

Yeah. Even though I like the table look, the chairs, I do have to say, I think are an upgrade. I think the whole studio is an upgrade. I think your jacket is an upgrade. This jacket is hot and loud. It is very loud. I'm wearing my Christmas greens here. Yeah, it's like a Grinch green.

Yes, this was a Walmart 999 purchased by Astrid. And she knows how to. If it wasn't for Astrid, I'd be wearing a t-shirt. I know. I know. Astrid goes, if we're changing this studio, you are not going to wear a fucking t-shirt every episode. And I was like, okay, I can agree.

If we can do the studio, I'll change into something besides the t-shirt. Don't tell her I'll be back in T-shirts before too long. Because it's just how I'm comfortable. What can I say? Listen, if Machine Gun Kelly can get away with it, so can Brian Green. Me and Machine Gun are exactly alike. Except for I'm not dating Megan Fox and we're not in a blood, like some blood brother

are expecting marriage. They're expecting and they're also expecting to break up because they just announced they're officially not together anymore weeks after announcing that they're having a baby,

I think, right? I don't know. I haven't seen that last part, but... So I heard you girls talking over the break while I was, you know, actually working. And what I heard was is that one out of 10 men in the United States are figuring out,

or one out of 100 are figuring out that they are not the father of their child? Is that correct? Yes, that was a little snippet. it. DNA ancestry? Well, it said that was just the headline. It just said why, you know, one in ten dads or one in a hundred dads are finding out they're not the child of their, there's, their child is not there. Yes. And I said ancestry DNA. Wow. Ancestry DNA is. It's a thing.

Yes. It's another cauldron of flaming shit that our world has brought straight to our front door. I'm telling you right now, when they were looking for that killer of that, you know, CEO United guy, which we haven't talked about. But when they were looking for him, they were checking databases, like private databases, like ancestry DNA for DNA. I just don't want to have my DNA all mixed up in there. Although I probably already do have my DNA. My twin brother did it, so now I'm fucked.

Yeah. Because we have shared almost the exact same DNA since we're fraternal. We got a few things. I wonder what's different in our DNA. It's got to be something about the looks, huh? Or maybe it. So we share the same mother and father DNA. that we share, like the general DNA. Of course. But then I guess the specifics are different. How

does DNA work, Chrissy? Tell me more. I have no idea. You're the twin. I can't believe you haven't researched this. No one knows. It's magic. It's a steaming cauldron of bits and bops, little pieces of, I don't know, twine and hair and what am. Isn't there two eggs? No, Chrissy, two X's and one Y. And then two eggs. Eggs, yes. Indeed. I don't know. Okay, my sister and I were talking about this the other day. So then if it's two eggs, is it also two sperm? Of course it is. Yes, it's two sperm. So it's basically two babies. It's two separate children in the same womb at the same time that are delivered. That's it. That's all you are. You're just a sibling. That has known another human at longer than most people. I mean, you know your mother, I guess, is that would be that argument there. But there's an extra human being that you know longer than anybody else has. And you've literally shared the same birth canal almost at the same time.

That's a thing, but it's not like identical twins. We do not feel each other's pain. Although I will say there has been times when serious life events have happened and I have sensed that something was going on with my brother. I can see that. But I think a lot of siblings feel that way in general. Like I don't think, I think best friends can feel that way. Husband and wife can feel that way.

Father and child, daughter, you know, daughter and mother, whatever it is. Anyway, back to Machine Gun Kelly. They, you know, maybe he, maybe she, he's not the father and he found out and that's what's upsetting him. Could be. Machine Gun Kelly and, you know, Megan Fox, they are blood married. They took that blood oath or whatever it was. And so...

Does that mean, they're sharing DNA? They're certainly sharing DNA. I mean, listen, you're a certain kind of kooky-wooky when you do blood wedding. I'm saying, I get it. I get it. Sometimes you're just so in love with somebody. You know how you're in love with somebody and you want to eat them? Have you ever felt that?

Yes. You want to eat them. Not like cannibalize. Snuggle all in. It's okay army hammer. Yeah, eat them. Yeah. No, no, not like Army Hammer, eat them.

Just like you wish you could, like, ingest. There was a level of intimacy that was further than the level of intimacy you could get, by all the normal means. Like, you know, sticking your penis inside of them. You had other ways of getting intimate. You like the smell. You like the smell. Chew on them. Yes.

Chew on their arm and make it bleed. Anyway, Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly no longer together. But by the time this comes out, they're probably back together. No, I don't think so. I think Megan Fox The pregnancy was the deal breaker What? The pregnancy was the deal breaker.

Here's my take on Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox in case you want to know because I'm very interested in this relationship, believe it or not. Because they are a certain kind of personality

like wacky out there eyes, all eyes on them. They don't really give a shit but of course they give a shit like kind of thing. and they find comfort in each other's craziness, right? I think.

This is what I'm like garnering just from public information because I have no inside track on Megan Pross and Machine Good Kelly. But they take comfort in each other's craziness. But that craziness can also wear on you, right? And it can wear on a relationship. It's exhausting. And it's a constant circus around those two. Constant circus.

Like we've talked about this before on the show. When two people are involved in the circus, the pressure is really on. Like Jennifer, whatever, Jen Lopez and Ben Affleck, when that circus gets really heated, it's like a pressure cooker. It's either to come out with diamonds or it's going to crumble like a piece of shit. And I think MJQ, whatever his name is MJK, MGK. That's a club here. I think Machine Gun Kelly and I think Megan Fox, they've been under that pressure cooker for a long time.

And I can imagine that certain kind of crazy has started to wear on them. They took that blood feud or blood oath or whatever the fuck it was. And as soon as that happened, I mean, how many more tattoos can you get of each other? You know what I'm saying? You're running out of space on your body. I think that they stay at least disassembled for a long period of time because they need to cool off from the craziness. That's my opinion. And then I'm just being attracted back together like magnets.

Who else? I mean, you shared blood with it. You have tattoos all over. Who else are you going to get together with? Like Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson, you know, they take comfort in that certain kind of crazy, right? Then they break up and it's disastrous for both of them. like both really heard and they're blue agrees blue totally agrees but now they never got back together once pamela and Tommy Lee separated they did they got back together and then oh are they back

back together no not now they're definitely done now but there was a period of time when they were break up makeup married divorced she just got nominated for a golden globe for best uh female um best female performance in a musical, I mean in a drama. I saw that. Yeah, for the last showgirl, I think is what it's called, the last showgirls. Very interesting. I want to see that. I like Pam Anderson. I've always liked Pam Anderson. I thought she's... She's definitely got a certain attraction. She's got a Gen. She does have a Gen. Sequois. Other than just obviously her physical beauty, but she's, yeah, she just seems fun. And also she's a mother, so she's kind of got that side to her. And now she's got that show, but basically where she went back to the beach.

her beach house in Canada. Oh, she did? It's a reality show? It's a reality show? Mm-hmm. Oh, very interesting. And they follow her around? Yeah, and she does all her like homebody beach stuff.

Hot take. I mean, not hot take, but here's what I thought, always thought about Pam Anderson. I never thought she was like the most attractive, to my opinion, my objective, my completely subjective opinion. She was never the most attractive woman. I know that people went gaga over her. What's a certain type? Is it a certain type? and you're either into it. Why I liked Pam Anderson was her personality. She always seemed

like smarter than the average bear. Do you know what I'm saying? She was like in on the joke. She understood it. She drove the bus. And I know that, you know, she may not agree with that 100% of because I didn't live her life. I don't know. But the same reason why I like Jenny McCarthy. Like not the most, you know, to me, not the most, like I would prefer Daisy Fuentes if you go back to that error than Jenny McCarthy. But at the end of the day, Jenny McCarthy was always in on the joke. And that to me was attractive. Like I liked their sense of humor. I liked how smart they were.

I'd like that they were in on the joke. That was it. So I wish nothing but the best for Pam Anderson. Hopefully she gets that golden globe knot. And I would like to see the last showgirls. Have you seen it? Sure. I have not. I wonder what it's about.

I wonder if we knew anything that we were talking about here on the commercial break. Can I give you a fun fact about Megan Fox? Sure. Her ex-husband is Brian Green. Oh, yeah. No, I know. Knight Austin Green. Yeah.

He was a 90210. It was a big. But you're like, I'm not married to Megan Fox, and I'm like, well, you were. Yeah, you didn't have the same name. I told this story before probably many years ago on the show. But when I moved from Chicago to Atlanta, I was 12 years old, maybe going on 13 years old, something like that. And obviously, I moved with my family. Brian wasn't taking a bus on his own down to Atlanta.

The show 90210 came out in that summertime or in that period of time when we had just moved. someone in the neighborhood in Chicago started a rumor that the Brian Green on the show was the Brian Green that had left the neighborhood. Same Brian Green. When I came back to Chicago the first time after that show had been running, kids... You rode that wave. I rode that wave. Kids thought, well, I mean, all they needed to do is take one look at me to understand that that was not the same guy that was on TV. Plus, I think Brian Austin Green at the time was like five years older, six years older than I was.

I mean, clearly I was not... No, all those kids that were on nine or nine. were way older than high school. They were in their 30s. That's how you did it back then. I mean, 21 Jump Street. Johnny Depp is like 41 playing a high school or something like that. That was a great show, by the way. 21 Jump Street. Oh, you had your kick recently, like a few years ago. I would sit, edit the show and watch 21 Jump Street and Laguna Beach. Those two shows were on like repeat on Pluto TV or whatever, but it makes you realize not only were the show premises absolutely ridiculous, but then the people that they got to play. the characters were absolutely ridiculous. No one would believe that Johnny Depp was a high schooler or that Jason Priestley was, you know, a sophomore in high school. I mean, it's just absolutely ridiculous. And who was the other guy, the guy who passed away?

What was his name on 90210? Oh, Luke. Luke. Luke Perry. Luke Perry. And then Shannon Doherty's gone now, too. Did she die? Yeah.

When? We talked about it on the show. I thought Shannon Doherty was still alive. No, she died of breast cancer. Oh. Why, I don't remember. I'm so, I'm so sorry to hear that. Shannon Doherty was like a mega, mega star when 902 in Okina. In July. Wow. Oh, the people that we've lost this year. In memorandum.

A lot of people. In memorandum. We would do an in memorandum here, but we'd probably get it all wrong. We have many times quoted people to be dead that aren't in fact dead. And then people to be alive. Chris Christopherson for one. Yes. Chris Christopherson has been dead for no years. He is in fact still alive. But you know what we have done this year, as we've done the 12 days of TCB, we have gone back so far and looked at events, content, or programs that we have enjoyed over the year that you have enjoyed. You have told us as a listeners you've enjoyed in 2024. And one of the things that has really resonated with people, good, bad, and indifferent, has been our focus on the pickup artist community.

and more specifically, the poise, and more specifically, the poise who go to the 21 convention. Hocktua. Speaking of Haktua, let's take a side note here. Did you hear about this? Yes, the maimgoine? Oh, I have been diving into this. This is fucking insane. First of all, let's say that yesterday we started the show by saying that Kylie Kelsey had the number one podcast in all the land on her very first episode of her very first podcast.

Congratulations to her. No shade. No shade whatsoever. Congratulations to her. She knocked off, she knocked Joe Rogan out of the top spot. That is a mighty feat because Joe gets big, big, big numbers. But then the Hoc to a girl is like the number five most popular podcast in all the land. How is the Hock to a girl more popular than the commercial break? I mean, it's probably easy to understand. It's more entertaining. But I'm telling you right now, that is a crazy feat to be the number five podcast in all the land. That means you're getting millions and millions of people listening every single episode you put out there. Haktua and all of her infinite wisdom.

And I don't know this girl. I don't know her from. I have not paid attention to this story. I think it's kind of ridiculous that she got so famous for saying two words on a street in Nashville. But whatever. People apparently liked her personality. Yeah. And she took the opportunity to cash in on it.

She took the opportunity to cash in like a lot of these like new age, new media stars do. And she rug pulled. a bunch of people with a meme coin. Let me explain very briefly. Meme coin is an alt coin. It's just like Bitcoin or any of those others. It sits on a block coin. Bitcoin. I can't help it every time I hear Bitcoin. The meme coin, however, has no function whatsoever. There is absolutely, that means, they can build in utilities into its special programs and prizes and access that you get for being a meme coin holder, which is apparently what they tried to do with this Haktua coin.

or the hawk coin, as they would say. She hyped up this hawk coin, got in bed with Howie Mandel's cousin. His name is Doc Hollywood. And apparently he's like a, like, I don't know, some kind of meme coin expert or something. So listen to this. Or the name like Dog Holiday. Listen to the math on this. For early investors and people who knew Hawk to whatever her name is, what is it, what

is it, Kylie, Kaylee, something like that. Haley, Kaylee, I don't know. She and her team, in their infinite wisdom, gave 17% of the total coins to insiders, basically, and then released 3% of the coins to the public. She pressed this hard on her podcast, on her social media, she tried to get people who have no clue about any of this stuff to buy this meme coin. And then the moment that it went public, 17% of the people who were holding on to it who knew what was going on, sold immediately because they cashed in. That's what you do. It's called a pump and dump scheme. It's a rug pole. I'm using this very fancy terminology from Twitter spaces. It's a rug pole. And basically you are throwing the losses

to the people who are unsuspecting while you cash in as an insider. A rug and tug, if you will. And she got a rug and tug. She got a hock in a two and a rug and a tug. And people are pissed with some people saying there's there's jail time involved for some people. And I don't know because, you know, listen, if you're into this alt coin shit, you got to be ready to lose money. That's just part of the game. It is just a scheme. It's just a pump. It's all pump and dump. There's really no utility. You don't go to Starbucks and use your hawk to a coin. That doesn't happen. It's just never going to happen. So, and there are millions of these meme coins out. I mean, hundreds of thousands, there's got to be meme coins. And this is how some of these new media stars are getting rich. They

do this meme coin or what a alt coin and then they pump and dump it i mean even donald trump's coin is having trouble taking off uh but octua is seems like she's in big trouble and still the number five podcaster in the world do we need a meme coin do we have any memes to coin not really so it's hard to do a meme coin when you're just two idiots on a podcast the tcb coin break coin break your bank coin sorry you spent so much money and by the way At one point, right after Hock Tua's coin was released, the total valuation of all the Hock coin out there was half a billion with a B dollars. Wow. Half a billion dollars.

And then quickly went down to $40 million after everybody sold. And a bunch of the insiders made money while all the other people are just left holding the bag. That's why they called a rugpole. And it's terrible. So I have a suspicion that Hawk herself, Ms. Tua, had no idea what she was getting herself into, that she also was not knowledgeable about MNCorp. That's right. But she made some money. There's no doubt about that.

And that is problematic. So we'll see what happens with Ms. Tua and all of her hawk. Her hawkies. I don't know what you call them. What does she do on that podcast? She does interviews. I listen to like the first one. How did you find it?

because it was all over the news No I mean how did you find it? Was it good? Was it interesting? Oh, how did I find it? I'm speaking in old English. How did you find it? How did you find it, my lady? I searched on Apple for it. No, I mean, how did you find it? Did you find it well? It was okay, but I never went back to it.

You never went back to it because you didn't like it. Let's just be honest about it. You didn't like it. You found it to be boring. It wasn't interesting. I haven't listened to any of it. I've seen some of the video. And yeah, she's got celebrities that come on there. I think she had Jojo Siwa recently. Listen, you know, no knock. If you could get JoJo Siwa to sit in this seat, you'd be out the door, Chrissy. I'd have CWA in here in one second.

I'd have her gyrating on that couch in a heartbeat. All right, so let's take a break. When we get back, guess what, kids? Today, for the 12 days of TCB, something very special. We're going to go back to our Poise, the 21 Convention, and Zon. Zon took up a considerable amount of our energy. effort this year. I think we did five total episodes on Zon. But lest you think we've done all the Zon there is to do, Zon just keeps on talking. So we have more of Zon, Panon, Perian, whatever his name is,

the very sad, pua, I think is the only way to say it. The, what did you say, the Jack Sparrow knockoff, greasy hair, big belt buckle, and dad bod all together. And he will tell us how many books he hasn't sold and how lost his life is when we get back. Oh, also want to remind you, please, the St. Jude Foundation, the St. Jude series of hospitals, always accepting donations to provide free care to children who have life-altering illnesses like cancer. Their main hospital in Memphis will put a link in the show notes. And also the National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, both of those things we're focusing on for the next couple of days. If you would be so kind as to drop a few dollars their way. The link on the show notes goes directly to their

website. We do not get in the middle of it. We are simply shining some light on it. I just want to make that clear, lest you think we're going to take the money. We're rugging and tugging. Yeah, we're rugging and tugging. Our meme coin is St. Jude and the National Press Cancer. Yeah. Yeah. So go there, donate some cash, make yourself feel good, and we will love you forever. Send us a screenshot, and I'll send you an extra sticker or two or something like that. Okay, let's take a break. We'll be back. In a shocking turn of events, it's me again, Christina, your producer and resident rom-com lover here at the commercial break.

And I just have one thing to say. I'm just a producer, standing in front of an audience, asking you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. Text us or call us and leave us a voicemail because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with TCB, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. And while you're at it, go to our website, TCBpodcast.com, but you don't have to because we like you just as you are.

Now, if you immediately got those references, you're my kind of person. But it's time to take a break and listen to some sponsors and then we'll get back to the show. All right, and we're back. Spreading some Christmas cheer all over the place, as is our network. Can you please do more episodes? No, we can't. How many more episodes can we do? I can't do any more episodes.

That's it. I'm all full up. But you know what? I like this because here's the thing. 12 days of TCB gives people something to look forward to at the end of the year. Not us, but other people, something to look forward to at the end of the year. Gives us a chance to review the year properly where we don't have to try and fit it all into one show like we did last year. I think last year we tried to fit it all into one hour. Number one, number two. Number three, it gives people something to listen to during the holidays that is completely unacceptable. for any kind of family activity. So it gives you an opportunity to get away from those ratball children and your shitty Uncle Tom won't stop talking about, you know what, the entire dinner. And listen to some funny shit.

So, okay, one of our favorite things to do in 2024, really for the last two years, has been poise pickup. Actually, since the beginning of the commercial break, we've been doing pickup artists. But we've really started to refine our target, and that is the 21 convention. The 21 convention is an all-round manhaven, I guess. I don't know what it is. I mean, it's like a... It's maga, it's masculinity, it's the patriarchy, it's tradwife, it's all things.

Dip shit. These guys put together these conventions, but the convention is no longer. It suffered from some financial issues like no one showed up. And so... I think it imploded. It did. It imploded because the guy who started it, I think he had some financial issues himself. and he took the convention down with him.

But then people weren't happy with him either. Am I right about that? They were all upset because he wasn't paying them or wasn't. I don't know what the... Who cares about the 21 convention? What I care about is the content that they put out over eight years of doing this convention. It refined itself.

It got more weird and more extreme and more applause are out there. I actually saw a video of one of these pickup artists telling you how to text a woman, how to get a woman in bed by simply texting her. And had it not been so visual, I would have done that one. But I felt like we should go back to someone who really occupied quite a bit of that space, that plause space for us this year. In season number four, it was Michael Anthony.

The year before, it was Frankie B. The year before, it was that weird guy talking into the camera. I can't remember his name, season number one. But in season number five, no one occupied as much time as Zon Perion, the very sad pickup artist who is down on his luck, but don't worry because he still, things are going to work out fine for Zon, but he's here to share with you about all the tricks of the trade, Chrissy, and how to get a woman in bed and make sure that the patriarchy stays alive and well. I can't wait to hear. Let's pick up in the middle of a Zon conference appearance here as he talks about men with women in their lives. Here you go.

Who women adore. Men who have women in their lives all the time. Women take care of them. They just, they love them, right? You know what it is? The number one? Well, it's complex, but I'll try and sum it into a little simple thing. The men of all of history who have women in their lives who love them and take care of them have two qualities.

Counterbalancing. Remember upper Lauren energy I talked about? Counterbalancing. Zahn is the guy. who told us that you got to make sure you have counterbalancing energy. You got to make sure you have that intellectual, strong personality type. But then you have to have that thrusting penis motion. You've got to slap your balls right into somebody, which I've been trying out at the grocery store and seems to be working fine at the local croaker.

Just letting you know. There's simultaneously to women a father figure that says, don't cross this line. I like you. Don't do this. I don't like that. I like you, but I don't like your behavior. Imagine that. What a phrase to say.

What a phrase to say to a beautiful woman. You know what I'm saying? What a phrase. And then put your hands out, like block your face. I can't imagine if I had said that to any of the women in my life. There's a line don't cross it. I like you. And I don't like this behavior.

I don't like it. But I like you. Powerful. Powerful. So powerful. It's never worked. So powerful, women don't get it. I can't understand.

So there's a father figure that says to put her in her place. Don't cross this line because I have, this is the way I want it to be, my dear. It's kind. It's gentle. Oh, the kind and gentle kind of, don't talk. The kind and gentle, don't talk unless spoken to. It's invitational. It's sweet.

You're not thinking, I don't like this when you blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm inviting you to shut the fuck up. How do you feel about that, young lady? It's none of that kind of interesting. It's like, listen, listen, baby, listen. I like... Listen, sweetie, baby, honey, listen, all that yammering, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but I'm inviting you kindly, gently, to shut the fuck up.

Do you mind? Don't cross the line. Don't cross the line. And by the line, I mean the threshold of my door. This is the man cave where all man things happen. There's thrusting energy in here. You've got to be careful. Balls swirling around everywhere.

I don't want you to get smacked in the face. I don't like this behavior. Don't do it again. Look at my eyes. Don't do it again. look in my eyes don't do it again so weird i cannot imagine under what circumstances i would talk to another another human being like that except for my children like i talked like this to my children look at my eyes don't do that again you know what they say now now that father figure saying

no don't do it no i don't like it powerful men that have women in lives have that spirit at the same time they have the spirit of these little boys who are lost. And they're, and, and, and, I think he just summed up. I think that's a little self-aware. I think he just summed up his entire existence. A little boy who is lost. Yeah.

Calls to the life-giving mother essence of women, which they have. I don't care what modern society and media says, they have it. In other words, there's a little boy caught in the cookie jar like this, and mother walks in, and he's standing on the stool like this. And she goes, what are you doing? Are you also marveling at his body type? Yes. His gestures and miming out, a kid in a candy jar.

Yeah, we got it. We understand. We've seen a kid in a candy jar before. And he goes, okay, well, you're so cute, you can have a cookie. Right? Right? Am I right? Powerful.

Hello! Listen to that crowd to riled up. I'm not sure who gets a better audience reaction. Taylor Swift at the last Paris concert or Zod at the 21 convention. It's close. She played BN. No, she played Wimbly.

He's playing Wachigan. It's close. In other words, the strongest man with women are men who say, don't cross his line. I don't like it. I don't like that behavior. And there's simultaneously little boys who are like needing help and they can't

adjust their color and women have to wash behind their ears. And like, if you're only this cool. guy who's got 100% figured out and you don't give the women the chance, the woman in your life, the relationship of your life to take care of you and to inspire you and to be that

woman. Nothing that a woman wants more than a small child to take care of. Can you watch behind my ears? Brian needs mumo. Brian needs his mumo milky. Astrid Titi Tata.

I mean peepie, poop. Can you watch my little t-tie? I tickled on myself. Yeah, Astro would love that. Oh, yeah. I made a booboo. There's a booboo in my pants.

But don't cross that line, bitch. Thrusting energy. You, you rob her of everything. She wants to take care of you, too. And that's why women in relationship will start drama and start fights and start poking at the guy because there's no energy

that's like he's just like this flat line guy. So they try and cause a drama or cause a fight or cause some kind of trouble. Or they're going to actually say shut the fuck up and you don't need me to change your diaper. Yeah, that's right. I mean, T.T. T. T. T. T.T. T. T. can you watch behind my ears?

Where am you getting these women? So this is the the conclusion that I've ever come in my life. I never heard anybody in my life say it. There's probably a reason why, Zahn. Men who love women are loved by women. That's the way it works. Men who love women are loved by women?

Oh, that's an Instagram quote to go on a nipple picture if I've ever seen one. Here's my conclusion in life. I figured out because I've been there, because all men have been there at some point in their life. We make the mistake of, especially I think early on in life, we make the mistake of supplementing a woman's love outside of our mother's relationship for a love like our mother's relationship. And we do become childlike. We think that it's a job of a woman to take care of us in certain ways. And what I've found is that's not exactly a precursor to hot sex. You know what I'm saying?

If you can't do your own laundry and you have to be taken care of and every little issue becomes a drama unless mommy takes care of it, then the woman will start to think of you like a child. It's oftentimes, I think sometimes, my opinion is, I think sometimes a woman's first child is their first boyfriend because that's how men act in a lot of cases. It's just a learning curve. but at 72 years old or however Zahn is, he really needs to like grow up a little bit. Women don't want someone to take care of. I mean, listen, I think we all caretick. If you're empathetic, you're a caretaker,

you want to take care of people. Like when they have the flu, not like on a Tuesday afternoon, when you, you know, where I need his lunch? Where's my lunchbox, mommy? They get a free pass. Now this.

If you're, the man of all of history who have women who are just like, oh, that's just him, he gets away with it. You have to prove something to me. No, that's just him. He's on our side. He's on our side. You guys know what I'm talking about. It's a man who get a free pass. It's because they have this strong father-figuring.

Don't, don't. Here's how I want it to be, baby. I want it to be like this, and that's what I wanted to be. And I will not bend on that. I will not bend. There's no bending whatsoever. This is how things are. going to be. I have declared it

for my... Hello, honey? Hello? Those are my car keys. Where are you going? I said I demand it. Thrusting energy. Thrusting. Pee-pee-pooh. Instead of following her around, we hear about this leadership energy. Guys are guys being

taught this? If you want to do something, you tell the girl, I want to do this. I want to, I choose this movie. But there's no point in that. With my girlfriend, I say, hey, baby, listen, let's go to a movie saying, why would you like, did you have a preference? Because I don't care. Right?

Well, I mean, that's just a considerate thing to do. Wow, that's just like human basics. Yeah, are we going to teach this? Really? We have to teach consideration? I mean, if you're going to see a movie with someone, wouldn't you want them to be interested in it also? Your relationship or friend or whatever. That said, this is the guy who got dragged to all seven of the, you know, what do you call them?

One of those movies. 50 shades of grain movies. You know, I'm not sure this, then I decide. Okay, okay, I'll decide. Let's go. So it's still a give and take. It's still an energy of that. You see? I'm not demanding my way or the highway.

No, no, no, not at all. I love my girl. You want to do this? Okay, baby, let's go. I'll go with you because I like you. And I want to do it. So that's, that strong leadership energy says, no, don't cry. But if she crosses the line,

But, but, but, but, but, but, but, hold on. Hold on, there's qualifications here. But, but, but, but, but. What is he considering crossing the line? Well, Chrissy, I don't really know what I'm talking about, but let me try and explain myself. A woman wants a man to have strong leadership energy. We're going to go see this movie. What do you want to see?

But then he also wants someone to take care of. I've got a little lips to come a collar. Mama take care of it. Teep-pee-po-po-poo, T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T. But don't cross that line, thrusting energy. Up here, but down there, over here, left and right. I don't know, up and down. He's saying nothing.

I'm saying nothing. No wonder is booked in, so it's four tombs of fucking nothing. I don't like it, baby. Listen to me. Listen to my voice. Look at my eyes. I don't like it. I like you, but don't do this.

I don't want it in my life. I don't want this energy around me. Don't do it. You see? You see? You see here? You see what I'm talking about? I'm making a point.

I'm trying to make a point. Same time, if you give that... See, now I'm remembering exactly why we think Hazan is so funny, because he never, ever quite gets to the point. No, he doesn't. I'm emphasizing this point, I know. Totally unplanned. Totally unplanned.

Oh, that was so good. Brian just read the cover of the book. That's it. I just had no idea that was coming. Give her the ability to take care of you. and her mother instinct comes out. There's something called The Warriors Repose.

Ah, yes, the Warriors Repose. I love the Warriors Repose. It's a haiku. Are you ready, Christy? I'm ready. Peepin, Pooh-Poo-Poo. By Zahn. Uh-oh, I made Pee-Poo-Poo-Poo.

Will you clean it up? Will you, will you? What movie shall we go to in this fortnight. Don't step over the line, or I'll hit you with my balls tonight. Pee, pooh-pooh. By son, the Warriors repose.

Imagine this, an Aztec warrior out there fighting battles. Fighting warriors. Bringing it all the way back to the Aztecs. So similar to today's times. Honestly, I mean, I feel like he got his entire outfit, all of his accessories at a Walmart in New Mexico. Well, listen, so did I.

So I don't want to make... I don't want to make too much fun today. He's fighting and going at battle, which we used, you have this spirit of like going out there. And he comes back into the tent with his women. Didn't the Aztecs have the beautiful structures that are uncovered in the rape? I'm pretty sure they had pyramids, entire towns. But they came back into their tent. Their tent.

I'm pretty sure tent is a rather modern thing in the grand scheme of things. and he crawls into her lap like a cat this fierce warrior and he puts his head on her lap and she's stroking his hair and says it's going to be okay that's what we're missing that's what we're craving from women the warriors repose

you go out there in your fight the warriors repose is to crawl up in a woman's lap I like to crawl up into a woman's lap but I think that can be true set of anybody is that everybody likes that kind of that coddling every once in a while We all get into a head space or emotional space where we just want to lay on someone's lap.

A big hug. Yes. Battles and you fight your warrior and you come back and she has the grace and the feminine energy. I'm going to go murder some of the natives and I'll be right back. I'm going to be like a pussy in your pussy. I'm going to come curl like a pussy right in your pussy.

Titi t-te-tata. To rebirth you and say it's going to be okay. We want that and we're missing it across the board. Modern women are saying, well, what do you can do for me and blah, blah, blah, what do you do for living? I'm a warrior. Yeah. I just murdered a bunch of people to try and save our civilization. Now get back to my tent.

Now, sit down so I could lay on your lap. Get back into my eight-person quadratent from Patagonia. I know it's under the bridge, but just get back. I just spent $1,000 at REI. Now, get in there. What do you do for a living? I don't know, Zahn, but I think there's a few steps before getting in a woman's lap, and I think knowing what you do for a living is probably one of them.

Just throwing that out there. Of course, it is 2024. Shit's weird. It's all broken. But take hard, because it's going to change. It's going to change. Is he going to change it? I'm starting a silent revolution with my belt buckle.

stare into my belt buckle. My swinging balls will hypnotize you into curling up in my lap and doing my laundry. I feel it. It's going to change. I talk, you know, all over the world, I talk to different groups. You talk to, like, people at the bus stop, I think is what you meant to say. And it can't sustain. It's going to change.

It can't sustain. Anyway, I talked a lot. I got a few minutes left for any questions. Oh, thank you. I love this. Yeah. Is there anybody in the audience? No, no, hello?

He's just swinging his hand back and forth. Hallelujah. Everybody in the back say what? Everybody in the back say what? Please, somebody run to the microphone. Oh, thanks to me. I think he's got to buy in the line here. Okay, let's see.

We'll take one question. And then maybe we'll take a break. Hold on. Questions for Zan? He's the only one up there. Anybody? ain't about a got questions for Zan. Are you here to see Zan?

No, no, no, no, no. The indoor pools that way. Anybody else here for Zan? Free books at the end of the conference, Zan. Did you hear what he had to say? I mean, it's got to change. The Patriarch is clearly going to be back in style in a few months. And Zan just, any questions?

No, okay, I'll ask a question. Zan, what do you do for a living? Hi, girls in the back. Hello. Oh, my God. This is embarrassing. Why wouldn't they cut this out of the YouTube video? Like, even I'm not that dumb.

Even I cut out dead air from our show. Terrible. That's poor Zan. I really do sometimes feel, I mean, I feel empathy for everybody. But for Zan especially, because he didn't sell the book. he's trying to write a second one. He's got a daughter who he thinks might love her at some point. I mean, it's just like, it's a terrible situation for Zan. You know, but by the way, this goes on for an additional 30 minutes. So clearly somebody asks him a question. Hey, really great talk. I especially love the end piece about the warriors and poets.

And I was just hoping that you could speak towards, so I'm someone when I first meet someone. I have a lot of like a wide range of interests and ways in which I can act authentically. And can you... Congratulations. Wham! I can act authentic when needed. Warriors and poets. I don't think that that's what that he said.

No. He said war, yeah. Warriors repose? Yeah, the warriors repose. Explain like how you transition from the warrior to the poet when you're just made. say anything about them. This guy walked in at the end

he has no idea what he's talking about. Meeting someone, so it doesn't come off as you're being incongruent with yourself totally, if that makes sense. Yeah, kind of. This is a tough one, but let me opine for the next 15 to 20

minutes. I'm going to make a point. I'm going to make a point. I'm going to get to a point here. Just a point in a point. There's a couple points before I get to the point. I think, um, I don't know. I don't know.

This is not really my line of expertise transferring from the warrior to the poet. Because I never said that at different conference altogether. It's a simultaneous thing. If you feel the energies of both that, whatever you're talking about, the poet and the... The poet and the penis. If you feel the poet and the penis. Whatever you're talking about. Whatever you said.

What did you say? I'll say it back to you and then we can talk back and forth. How's that? It's called a conversation. And the warrior. You express it to her. That's powerful. That's a powerful thing. That is penis powerful, bro. Like, I'm a big advocate of speaking your truth, whatever's going on in the moment. I really, I believe it. If you like a girl, if I like you, I say, I like you. I don't know why, but I like you. If I want her in my bed, I want you in my bed. That's what I know. Hello, what's your name? Hey, girls in the back. Hey, girls in the back. What's your name? I want you in bed. Meet me in room 212. That's a junior executive suite.

I'm going to pull out I've got a stand-up shower and a tub. Hey, now. No blood stains on my carpet. Be a great lover for me. I say it. So to speak that, what you're talking about is, uh, there is no transition.

This is what I'm trying to. Teaching a generation of young men how not to get laid. Zanperiod. Everybody. You're simultaneously both. And you forgive yourself everything. All seeming mistakes. and I think that's a

powerful takeaway I hope you guys get you forgive yourself every seeming mistake because we think we're not good enough but we're more than good enough oh computer crash behind me okay let me explain on the video here

there is not a screen behind it because it's not that kind of conference room it's like literally like one of those meeting rooms in a holiday inn he's got a Vizio TV fresh out of the box with the stand and everything. And behind it, it just has 21 convention written on it. And all of the sudden, someone's browsing the internet on that TV behind it. In Microsoft, nonetheless, the wave of the future.

Okay, this is a good place to take a break, I think, Christina. Let's take a break. Just a quick reminder, the St. Jude's Foundation and the National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund. both of those links down below in the show notes. Do us a favor and maybe yourself a favor in the future. You never know. Donate to those two very fantastic causes. Help the brothers out.

We'll be back. Have you been missing something from your life? Of course you have. You listen to the commercial break. And what you've been missing is me. Right? No? Damn.

Well, if what you're missing is a little giggle, you should follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. and on TikTok at TCV Podcast because, you know, we're posting clips, we're being silly, you'll get a little laugh out of it, I promise. If what you're missing is communication, text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822, and someone will respond, definitely. Unless you're being creepy or mean, in which case we won't. And lastly, if what you're missing is a jaunch through the internet,

check out our website at TCBPodcast.com and explore to your heart. desire. And those are really all the ways I can help you. So maybe you're missing something from our sponsors? Let's find out. All right, back here with Zahn in 21 convention. Zahn is teaching us men how to, you know, be, basically the title of the video is how to be with a woman in your life. And okay, fair enough, I could, we could all use a pointer here and there. But so far what he's told us is incongruent to use a big word that someone in the audience use and does not make much sense. He wants us to both be a warrior and a pussycat. He wants us to need

women but tell them that we don't need them. He wants us to make decisions for them, but make sure they're involved in the decisions. So, I just don't know what to think of Zon. Zon is a master at not making a point, but there's a lot of people. Thank goodness for the powerpoint behind it. Thank God that someone is now browsing the internet

behind him. He's captivating the audience. And I'm not kidding about that, guys. I am not kidding about that. I hope you get that. I hope you really receive that. Oh, I'm receiving it. Any other questions?

So the guy asked specifically how do I transition, how do those two things live with? Between the poet and the warrior and how do I really do that? And Zon ended up telling him just everybody forgive themselves. Yeah, forgive yourself and you don't do it. You don't transition. You just do it simultaneously. Yeah, same at the same time. You drag the woman by the hair while you're telling her how much.

She would love her. A haiku. No? No. No, it's so da fetus. No, I just keep talking if I was him. I mean, I've had this happen. It's embarrassing, but you just keep going.

You power through. When the question section of the presentation doesn't end up being so fantastic, you power through. You've got to have backup contents on. You can't just stand there and go, no, no one? Because it sounds worse. I got some questions. Oh, okay.

Oh, I got some questions. MAGA, 2028. So you have always been known about talking about ease and delight. How would you feel? Oh, ease and delight. It sounds like the next Krispy Kreme special donut. Join us at Krispy Kreme for 99 cents ease and delights. Did he say ease and delight or ease into light?

No, I think he said ease and delight. Okay. I don't know. I like ease and delight, though. In a nutshell, how does one to live a life of ease and delight? You know what? I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this.

Let me make some points before making a point. First of all, my ties by the beach. Second of all, I don't know. Look at his brain working. He has no idea. He probably wrote a whole book on it. He has no idea what he's talking about. Huh.

Wow. Next question. No? Let me tell you about something. Oh, my God. I guess it goes back maybe to the Stoics. To the Warriors? The Stoics.

It goes back to the Stoics. Because of what I think of, he's a lot. in delight. I think of the stoics. Like Plato. He lived a life of he's in delight. Roman bad houses

and cocktails by sundown. He's in delight. Who talked about no, goes back to the book of ecclesiastes. Oh, they're good old ecclesiastes. Oh my god.

It was Like a precursor to a precursor. No, no, no, no, wizards. Hold on, hold on. Wizard of Oz, Chrissy. It goes back to Wizard of Oz. There's nothing new under the sun. All is vanity, says the preacher.

King Solomon went out and nodded, uh-uh. Mic drop. Got that? He had 500 concubines and 300 wives. He had the riches, above all the riches, he had wisdom, above wisdom. And he writes the book, The Ecclesiastes, which is, I sought all of this in this world, and all is vanity. By that it means none of it matters.

The sun rises on the rich and the poor, the good and the bad. Says the guy with 500 concubines and all the riches. And then you're easing and delighting the way through life. He's in the delight. Ease and delight. Or delight. Imagine this. Mark Twain said this.

Mark Twain. Mark Twain. Imagine quoting Mark Twain. He's all over the place. Warrior Stoer, the Bible. Ecclesiastes. Mark Twain. Prince.

Mark Twain said this. What did Mark Twain say? Let's see what's on. You die. They memorialize you for an hour. and forget you forever. Well. And there you are.

You're delighted. I guess that sums it up. We've all been delighted. When you die, everything, all your possessions are going to disappear like the wind. And here's the truth. Nobody's going to remember you. That's the truth. Nobody's going to remember you?

What kind of fucking, there's no delight in that. Absolutely. Bullshit is that. That is such negativity. Nobody's going to. remember you. That is the nature of death. You become remembrance. That's what it is. And it's likely at least one person will remember you. I mean, maybe in Zahn's case, some people will be forgetting, but. What a shocking thought. Shocking. When I look at it. Wait, he's talking about death and the guy

asked about ease and delight. I know. Ease and delight. It's so bizarre. I'm from Canada, so I grew up in the wilderness with no sense of history, no old building. Oh, God, remember that. He took a 20-mile journey with a strange man. It came out changed. I'm sure you did. Just a little light touching. It's old school of petoing. Back when petoing was fun.

The Warriors did it. Just a little old school of butt padding. The people in Europe have all this history that they grew up and they take it for granted. And, you know, when I see a portrait, I see a photo of a woman from 1880. She's smiling like this with a glass of wine looking at black and white photo of this woman. I'm thinking she's young and pretty.

She's probably 21 years old. And she's 100% forgotten today. Wow. Way to get the crowd going, Zahn. Pipe them up right out the door with death and dismemberment. You're never going to be remembered. So what do we do here today? Nothing.

He's gone. He's come to the defeatist point in his life. Oh, yeah. Yes. And that shocks my mind. How is that possible that all she dreamed and all she loved and everything she tried to, and she tried to create things and stuff like that. And it's all gone and forgotten.

In other words, whatever you're in your head about, whatever you're like trying to. But I want to point out one thing, Zon, you are in fact remembering her. That's what I thought too. You're seeing a picture of her. So now you have the guy who's remembering the lady who was forgotten. Micromanage means nothing. It actually means nothing. I mean, I get the point, but it's not really great.

This is it. He's not, he's your last life. Articulating it well. Yeah, he's not, yeah. But I guess articulation has never been strong suit since we've known him. We're waiting for something else to happen. We're waiting for women to be nice finally. It's not going to happen.

Well, okay. End on a high note. Send him out the door all. Gung-ho. We're waiting. If not now, then when? Later. That's my philosophy.

If not now, then when? Well, a little bit later. Just a little bit later. After I take a nap. Can I get a bite to eat? Do you mind? I'm hungry. After 90-day fiancé, I promise.

That was from a... Greek philosopher. If not now, then when? Ask yourself that. If not now, then when? Well, when I save up some money, if not now, then when. If not now, then when. This is, I'm telling you guys, this is a call to leadership as a fight of your lives. There's no more time. When I came out of Nicaragua, when I was invented with the sand in Easton's running drugs for Jimmy Carter and the CIA. Let me tell you something. He is all over the place. I had time, but I learned an old Nicaraguan saying,

pretend you're making a point when not making a point. You shall have fabulous riches beyond riches. My concept was this, and I wrote this phrase. It's in my book, and you're going to see it in my book. Because I'm giving you a free copy because no one will buy it. It affected me greatly. It's this. Every great life has had a great renunciation.

I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I could, I, I can't, I, I can, how do you spell renunciation? Every great life, I'll say that again. Every great life has had a great renunciation. We're this self-help generation. Everybody here has got self-help books sitting on their shelf. You've got programs you've signed up to. To try and understand something by yourself.

This one, for instance. This book I'm about to give you for free. instance. And it's not necessary to read the book. Oh, well, that's good. I can just look at the cover and get everything I need to get out of it.

It's enough that I bought it and sitting on the shelf. I got the answer right there, yeah. Right? We buy these books, we don't read them but there's the answer right there. And when we read that book, we read the next one and read the next one.

We go to the next weekend conference. We go all these conferences. We do all this kind of stuff. Like this conference you're out now that you paid all this money for. To watch my transitions slowly get darker. His transition lenses have gotten darker and darker. The evening has worn on.

Choosing that. But I'm telling you, that is not enough. That is not enough. Okay. What was he saying again? I don't know. I'm totally lost. I have no idea.

I'm trying. I thought it was ease and delight, but I guess we've moved on to suffer. And sorrow. Nothing matters. It's just going to take everything you've got and more. If you want to have a life, if you want women to look at you like, who's this guy? Go into the wind and speak your name, like I said earlier. Brian.

Brian. Tie in the wind. Tie in the wind. Chickapuy. Who was that? Jody Foster and Nell? Oh, right. Tie in the wind.

Die in the way. Climb a mountain and a mountain and don't tell the soul that you did it. Well, what's the point? If I'm climbing a mountain, I'm telling everybody, Instagram, bitches. I can't climb Everest without a few good reels to go along with it. There's no other point. How am I supposed to get laid when no one saw me at the top of Everest? Please, Zon.

Go into the world and hang around your heroes. Go seek them out. Say, well, I want it to learn something. Well, what's your phone numbers on? because that's where I want to go. I'm with you, buddy. I want to fight for something. I want to...

That's where you go. That's the power. It's that important. What? Meanwhile, Zahn's going to go home, play some Fortnite and need a cheeseburger from McDonald's. That's right. He told him that he plays that. I riled him up tonight.

I really got him going. I pulled out my stoics. I pulled out of ecclesiasis on their ass. Mark Twain. Nothing like a little Mark Twain to end the house. afternoon. All right, I think that's a good place to wrap it up with Zahn, because how much can one take of making no point trying to make a point? Oh, Zon-Zon. He's what of a kind. Oh, God. Well, you know, listen, he's not the worst KUA we've ever seen. That's for sure.

He's not the best, but he's not the worst. And what I mean by that is he's certainly got this weird ideas stuck in his head about women and relationships. He's trying to be enlightened. He's trying to be enlightened in some sort of way. Yeah, but just pulling out quotes from every chapter in history does not make you enlightened. It doesn't. I'm sorry. I wouldn't know because I'm not enlightened. I'm not claiming to be.

But I do know that this is not it. No. I'd probably go with that chick in the white head dressing. What was her name? Bajran yogi. That's right. That's more my flavor. I like ayahuasca.

That's more my flavor. It's mild. It's mild compared to zon. I'd rather do a night of ayahuasca than a night was zon. Oh, yeah. God, and this thing is two hours and 40 minutes long. Can you imagine sitting through two hours and 40 minutes of this? No.

Underneath that lighting and that holiday end conference room, no, thank you. Oh, okay. All right, so here we go. We're trucking along 12 days of TCB right through Christmas and beyond. All right. Through Christmas and beyond. We will be here every day with a brand new episode. I think this is a Sunday episode that we're recording right now.

I think that will officially be the first ever Sunday episode of the commercial break. So there you go. Breaking new ground every single day, Chrissy. Breaking new ground. All right, TCBPodcast.com. That's where you go. More information about the show. All the audio, all the video, and now all episodes are available on video,

either on the website, on Spotify, or YouTube. dot com slash the commercial break. But when you go to the website, and we implore you too, you can get your free sticker. If you go to the contact us page, drop down menu, I want my free sticker. Give us your address. Away it will go. Also, if you make a donation to St. Jude's Foundation or the National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, send us a screenshot, and we will send you some extra swag.

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And I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say, we do say, and we must say. Goodbye. TV, I have it.