The Commercial Break - TCB Classic: Sexual Like A Man!

Episode Date: March 5, 2026

We finally reminded Bryan enough that he remembered to get the follow-up video to our last Mountain Monsters episode! It’s a Christmas miracle! Donate to St. Jude, The National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, the ASPCA and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Leather diapers Our old Dr. Phil advertisement Bhad Babie (catch me outside) We’re back again with Mountain Monsters in their hunt for the Cherokee Devil War music An elite group Buck is having a mental breakdown The must find Huck Mr. Tumnus Huck is buck ass naked, covered in mud, and humping a totem pole Head of Security Aliens or drones Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey there, cats and kittens. It's TCB Classic Day. And for this DCB Classic, we got to stretch our arms all the way back to episode number 629, which is 300 episodes ago, but like three weeks ago. On this episode, fully equipped with Christina Liners and everything, Chrissy and I review the 21 convention. You know the 21 convention down in Orlando where all the pickup artists go to mansplain to you how to pick up all those chicks. They have failed. to learn how to pick up, you do the circular math. Anywho, this was one of my favorite episodes from the entirety of the 600s, and it was requested by one of you. So, Tony, from me to you, here's episode 629, How to Get Sexual, Like a Man. Would you pay 70 pounds for a cuddle? I don't like being touched by strangers. I know. I pay 70 pounds and not be cuddled. on this episode of the commercial break and then she's like no you're so sweet and then you're like no it's you sweetie that's so sweet sweet and then she says no you're so sweet sweet sweet and then you say i'll take extra serve with my pancakes

you know how many freebies i've gotten that way just blow jobs right under the table works every time you know how many old ladies are giving me head taking out their dentures and we're knocking one off in the bathroom it's because i flirt with everybody everyone the next episode of the commercial break starts now captain kittens welcome back to the commercial

break i'm brian green this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show chris and joy hoadley best to you chrisin best to you out there in the podcast universe thanks for joining us happy friday after Halloween halloweoony thank you very much and so now it's November 1st and it's

officially holiday season holiday season is here and uh but no rest for us chrissy that's right brian our uh podcast network has told us that we cannot take any days off on the holiday season and then we must produce more content than ever bah humbug indeed bowl in our stockings for uh the holiday season

but i thought it was an important time to let people know that you know some podcasts do take off uh for the holiday season we will not be taking off any time for the holiday season we are No rest for us. Yes, we've taken off enough time between my parathyroid, your men foe, and all the trips we've taken. We've taken off enough time this year and we're contractually obligated to meet a certain amount of episodes. I think that's 3,000 per year. So we're only at 2,800.

So we will be live with fresh episodes. I say live, you know what I mean. We'll be fresh episoding it the entire holiday season, including the 12 days of TCB, our first ever 12 days of TCB, December 13th through the 25th, through Christmas Day, brand new episodes for you to. you enjoy. So, enjoy your holiday vacation with some mediocre comedy. Yeah, get the family around the Yuletide and blast up TCB. Turn on TCB. Let the kids open up presents while Brian talks about shaving his balls. What's better gift than that? What better gift than to hear Brian talk about is high calcium and low tea.

It'll be fun for the whole family. The kids will love it. And for our Jewish friends, light the candles and, like the candles and spin the dreidel. Yeah, and listen to Brian talk about dipping his balls in wine. Which, oh my God, we saw it on. The D.D. Cantor is officially a thing. I mean, it's crazy. It really is. When you sent that to me, I was like, oh, my God.

So did they also hear the story at the same time and actually went through with the idea of putting together a product? No, I know that I'm fucking crazy. And I know that I've had. Did they hear us? Yeah, that's the question. I know that I have had very high calcium for a long time and that kind of leads your brain to go different places. But there is some times when I see stuff out there or I hear certain people say certain things. And I just wonder if they heard that on an episode of the commercial break or if they literally came to that conclusion around the same time.

I sent Chrissy a picture the other day of an actual penis-shaped decanter. Like a DD canter with balls. And it's a real item that you can buy. You can literally buy a penis shave, a DD canter. Yeah. And I thought to myself, wow. And it got served up to me in an ad, in an ad that I know where they're serving that ad to me. So is it because I talked about decanting wine with your testicles, tasting your tasty teas, that they serve that up to me?

Or is this just a product that was developed by a commercial? Right away, sir. Right away, sir. Sir, your testicles have impeccable taste. This is a Chateau-Memont, 1967. Would you like to stick your hairy teas in it? Yes, Samarie. I exfoliated this morning.

I just not foliated. My buds are blooming and ready for the tasting. Yes, it's good. I can imagine being at like howls or something like that. Just whipping out your nuts. Yeah. Dipping them in the canter. Would you like it taste it with your tongue or your testicles?

Well, now that you ask, do you mind? I can see the kids bringing their wives and husbands home with all the kids and I'm just around the table like Clark Griswold. And I break out a bottle of the wine. I've been saving this for a very special occasion. And I pour it into like a cereal bowl. Just take out my testicles and dip it in there. Yep. Yep.

Chef's kiss. Chef's kiss. So delicious. It's good. You don't mind if I take a second taste, do you? Don't want to be wasteful. No. Let every drop back into the bowl, into the decanter.

That's the special stuff. That's the good stuff. That's $100 a drop. I say the story about We had this friend One time And he went into We went to celebrate our engagement

Astrid and I's engagement So this is years ago And this friend was very wealthy He had a lot of money And I think not Doesn't know what to do with this So he would often Lavish things for his friends

He was super generous Always very generous Generous to a fall And we went He invited us to dinner We went to this very nice Steakhouse here Where we live

very well-known steakhouse. And he's looking on the wine menu. And he says, hey, well, you guys drink some wine and celebrate. And even though Esmer I don't drink a whole bunch, we were like, of course, you know, it's our engagement. Let's do it. And he said, okay, I'm going to take the most expensive bottle of wine that you have is what he told the waiter. And the waiter said, well, that's like a screaming eagle. It's like $12,000 or something like that.

And so he said, yeah, whatever, whatever it is. These people brought out that wine. And it was a parade to the restaurant. I mean, the restaurant's not very big. it probably holds like 150 people. And everyone, they brought it out, like, was such gallantry? And there's this special decanter that came on a plate that had all these, like, you know, it looked like a science experiment, like tubes that swirl and all this stuff.

The poor kid opens up the wine and starts pouring it into the decanter. And he spills like a good portion of that wine. He's just shaking, I think, is really what's going on. Yeah, he was so nervous. And then he was like trying to pour a taste. spilled more of it. The kids spoiled a third of the wine on the tablecloth. It's like $4,000 worth of wine that just got spilled. And I was mortified for the guy. I thought to myself, he's certainly fired. You just splashed $4,000 worth of wine. You're fired. Who's going to let you work here?

But my friend was so gracious about it. And then he started giving tastes to other people in the restaurant that wanted some. It was a beautiful occasion. But the decanter, like this whole decanter thing, it makes you so nervous when you're a waiter that you have to like that the bottle of wine is so expensive you have to decant it it reminded me of a time when I was working at a nice steakhouse here with the au poix. Who ha, hu-na, apua, amicot. And we had this private room. Someone rented out the private room for a wedding party for like an engagement party, something very similar. And the father of the bride came in hours before this whole thing happened. and he brought these three wooden crates of wine.

And inside of those wooden crates were French wine from the early 1900s. It was 100 years old. The wine was like 100 years old. And he said, listen, I have been saving this. It's been passed down through my family. This is it. I'm going to open up some of this one. Yeah, open it up.

Yeah. And he's like, so just be very careful with it because it's very expensive. It's like a prize part of my prize collection. I want everyone to have a taste. I want to make sure everyone, you know, gets a piece of this. So just be careful. When we started opening up that wine, Chrissy, the corks were dust. I mean, they were dust.

As soon as we started putting our wine corks in there, the wine, the corks, desegrated. And fell into there. Oh, God. And so we had to strain every bottle of this wine and decant it. And he kept telling us, you got to let it sit for like five to ten minutes. That's really how it airs out. It oxidized, whatever he was saying is going to be beautiful. He's pretend like he was a wine expert.

And then he's like, you know, go ahead, take a taste. Tell me what you think. It was literally like drinking liquid dirt. It was fucking disgusting. The wine was so bad. It was so disgusting. And everybody at the party agreed. Like everybody like took a sip and then they all put it back down.

Well, wine could be too old. It was too old. Yeah. And if the cork is like, you know, it's dry and brittle. You know, what are you going to do? First of all, second of all, don't save wine for 100 years. No. Do you guys drink nice wines?

Yes. You do? What's your favorite kind of wine? Well, we like a good pino, a good cab. I like a good penis, too. Pino. Pino. A pino and a cab. I mean, we're not, we don't go crazy unless it is a very special occasion, but, you know. What is the nicest bottle of wine you've ever had? The night. I mean, I can't remember the name of it. Because I was never going to buy it.

You know, I mean, it was probably a couple hundred dollars. Yeah. You know, four, maybe $400 bottle or something. Yeah, you know, when we worked at the steakhouse, we had that silver oak. You know what silver oak is? Silver oak, really nice bottle of wine. And we would sell those bottles. Some of those bottles were like $250.

And I always thought that was a huge deal. And it is. Like if someone bought a $250 bottle of line. Now I see some of these like really shitty wines are $250. I know. Like that's insane to spend them to think about it. You're going to drink that wine. It's literally going to go through your.

body and then you're going to piss it out. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys like white wine or red wine? Both. Yeah? It just depends on what you're eating. Yeah, like a Selvian Blanc for white. And then we go Pino or Cab, depending on the meal for reds. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sir. I can see Jeff at the house. How's Jeff? How's the house doing? He's good. The house is doing good. I've got it all, you know, Still decorate it up with the Halloween stuff. For Halloween? You're going to give him a little, did you give him a little Halloween surprise?

Yeah. Yeah? What'd you dress as? I'll tell you when we're off of the podcast. Oh. All right. It's Friday. I'm still recovering from my parathyroid surgery.

I'm now dealing with, what is it called? Hyperthyroiditis, which means that I've got a bunch of extra thyroid hormone. You're hyper. Oh, man. I'm way hyper. I had such a hard time to sleep.

PIN last night. Oh, yeah. Are they pinned? Yeah, my. It was so crazy because, well, here, I'll explain just a little bit. Then I'm going to get in the meat potatoes of the episode. But part of the reason why I may sound a little bit off this week is because I have something called hyperthyroiditis. I got my parathyroid taken out. When they do that, they open up your neck. They pull out your thyroid and then they look for the for the parathyroid, which is behind your thyroid. When they do that, they manipulate your thyroid. they touch it. And when they touch it, sometimes that thyroid reacts by getting stimulated, just like a lot of other glands in my body that get stimulated. And so it is literally, Chrissy, to me, I think the only thing that I can tell you is it's like being high on cocaine. That's the only, that's the only, like, reference point that I have. Natural cocaine. Now, it doesn't come with like the come down, like the need to do more cocaine. Yeah, that's good. Look at me. I am literally all over the place. Look at my hands right now. I am so high

So I was staring at the mirror yesterday I was looking into the mirror And I was telling Astrid I'm like hey, hey babe A couple days ago And I'm like hey babe Look at my eyes They are literally pinned

Are they pinned right now? Yeah they are Yeah They are pinpoints Because I am so fucking high right now I have zero pupils So if anybody's wondering Why Brian sounds a little bit off

Last week It's because I have too much thyroid I got rid of the parathyroid problem I picked up a thyroid problem and fuck you if you don't like these episodes. Your body's readjusting. Yeah. I mean, someone made a comment on one of the text messages, but you know, fuck them.

It said Brian sounds extra unfunny this last couple of days. Yeah. Well, fuck you. All right. Well, we're going to get funny. And here is what I want to present to you on Friday for a video breakdown. I thought this was something easy to do that I could do while I'm still high. Good thing.

21 convention, one of our favorite places to find pickup artists, because that is basically what the 21 convention was originally geared toward. And in 2014, one of our friends presented a, did a presentation called How to Be Sexual Like a Man. And that's literally the name of the presentation. How to be sexual like a man. And this presentation about halfway through goes off the rails when he invites a nice young lady to come up

so that he can show the guys in the old. audience, how to get sexual like a man. So I want to take a break, Chrissy. And when we get back, I want to review this video with you. Let's do it. All right. We'll be back. I know this sounds crazy because we are a podcast, but we have a phone number because we are also a Sendian AI chatbot being designed to receive compliments and content ideas at 212-4333-Tcb. So crazy how that works. If you want to follow us on Instagram, our handle is at The Commercial Break and our TikTok handle is at TCB Podcast. So go find our profile and watch the videos we painstakingly put together for you and our 20 other followers.

If you find yourself wanting more, check out our website at TCBpodcast.com because you can find all of our audio and full-length video episodes. And if you just do all of those things, we will love you forever. Bye. Who's doing Trump's makeup these days? He's got like a frosted lip. I know. They forgot to do the lip around.

We were just looking at a picture of Trump at one of his... At the garbage rally. At the garbage rally. And someone forgot to put the tanner around his lips. So it literally looks like he's in blackface or something. It's kind of weird. I mean, I know the guy has tons of fucking money just being thrown at him. He's got to have like a really good makeup artist.

Isn't it a little disconcerting to see that? Wouldn't you think that you would look in the mirror and say, hey, can you do the lips? Can you do the three and a half inches around my lips? Would that be okay? I don't know. Maybe he's having Burger King beforehand or something. All right. So we're at the 21 convention, the year is 2014. We've got a young man making a presentation about how to be sexual like a man. We're going to jump into the middle of this where he invites a young lady that he knows to come up so that he can give a demonstration on how to get sexual like a man.

You ready, Chrissy? I'm ready. Oh, I think this is going to be a good one. Here we go. So when it comes to getting more physical, starting with the feeling in your body, Tangling. It shouldn't be starting with that tingling down and you're undernard. You're underreasons. Be that difficult.

Once again, all the times when you've gotten closer to a woman, when that physical thing just kind of happened, and you look back, well, wait, what did I do? How did that happen? How did that happen? Alco. It's really. What I think back on it. Casey and I were just reminiscing about some of the mistakes we've made in our own love

lives. And I think we agree. And 90% of them could be chalked up to way too much alcohol. When two people are attracted to each other, when two people are speaking and these feelings are coming up for them, and they're looking in each other's eyes and communicating on that deeper level. I like how he when he says communicating on the deeper level, he puts his hands down near his penis.

Level of communication that really matters when it comes to human communication. then there's going to be a... It's all about the sex, Christy. That's all that matters, just to let you know. An almost magnetic pull. Actually, it could probably be exactly a magnetic pull. Towards each other. They're just drawn towards each other.

I'm picturing like him waddling with his dick first. Like attract. I must attract. Like two magnets. Be closer because there's nothing in the world that would be more appealing to those people at that point in time. So underneath it all, right? Getting closer to someone, getting more physical with someone

is simply that natural expression of, I want to be close to you. I just want to touch you. Has he blinked the whole time? No, he has not blink the entire time. Speaking of eyes. I don't want to make fun of someone's appearance because he is who he is.

He looks how he looks. But I do have to say there's something a little bit unnerving about the way that he's speaking and the hand gestures that he's using and the fact that he has not blink in almost two hours of this presentation. Chrissy and I reviewed some of the earlier parts of this, and he really hasn't blinked the entire time.

He's like me. You think he's got hyperthyroid ideas. You might. I want to feel your skin against mine because nothing would feel more amazing right now. Seconds you get in your head, oh wait, should I put my arm around her? Should I hold her hand?

Should I whip my dick out and tell her how much I love her? Suddenly it feels awkward. suddenly it feels anxious. Vibe goes away. She no longer wants you near her. Wow. Wow. What happened there?

No. Almost holding hands to get away from me? Yeah. I don't know what happened. I don't know. Did he say anything in between that? No. Okay.

Maybe he just looked at her. Without blinking. Right. Right. Look at those eyes. I know. Geez. So I'm going to be walking you through some ways to kind of slowly build up that expression of,

I want to be closer to you with respect to the other person's boundaries. But keep in mind that this already sounds like it's going off the track. You have to say with respect. Keep in mind there's really no boundaries. Keep in mind. Boundaries are flexible. Sort of, we'll step by step, do one, one, than one B. This is simply the ways that I've found that when I'm attracted to someone, that when I have that

feeling of, oh man, I just want to be near you, that I've expressed myself physically. It's my desire combined with my personality, with what feels best for me. If you're not doing what feels best for you, it's not going to feel good for her. I think they're here because what feels best for them has not worked in the past. I'm just saying it, guess he's good. If you're doing what feels best for you in that moment, it's probably going to feel good for her as well, as long as you're reading her the entire time.

So to help me demonstrate the ways that I get closer to someone when I feel that attraction, I'd like to welcome my friend up to the stage. Do you notice that they bleep down her name? Yes, they did. Oh, very interesting. She was like, do not mention my name. Yeah, let's, I bet she definitely said, take my name out of this. Let's do this.

Let's go through this again just to make sure it wasn't a glitch in the video. Out attraction. I'd like to welcome, my friend, up to the stage. Yeah, that was silent. Well, you know what? He did the hard work for us because this poor girl doesn't need any more attention that she's already gotten for this video. A smattering of applause, Chrissy.

Introduction is incredible. She's the founder and CEO. Wow. They have cut out any identity. identifying information for this young lady. That's, I know that she must have requested that. It's a company that pairs American investors with African startups. Brilliant.

Gorgeous, by the way. Gorgeous young lady. I'm fortunate to have her up here assisting me today. So, once again, starts out. She gives him a look like, don't touch me. This girl's already creeped out. Put that feeling in your body. It starts with that natural desire.

It starts with feeling that. Starts with a little saliva coming out of your mouth and rolling down your chin. Back from her and feeling that kind of magnetic attraction that you might have for the other person. She immediately is thinking, why did I agree to do? She's immediately wondering where her cell phone is to press the emergency button. Chrissy, could you imagine being. that this guy's apartment? And he's like, I'm feeling this attraction.

And he starts shaking his body left and right. I'm feeling this attract. Can you feel the magnet pulling from the downside of my pants? This is just the way I express myself with respect to your boundaries. Can you feel the roof and all taking effect? There's no secret. There's no magic to it. The first thing you want to do, you just want to get closer.

More exciting, it feels the better. And the closer you get, the more of those feet. The more she will recognize your breath as one that has not been brushed. Those teeth, cavity breath is what I call it. Infection breath. Yeah. When starts a spike, it's natural human condition. This does not look natural at all.

This guy looks completely uncomfortable, and this girl is standing her ground. She looks like she's about to smack him. Yeah. She's so uncomfortable. Oh, my God. loud environment, such as a bar or a club, you've got an added bonus. You've got an added benefit. Why is he staring right at her and not talking to the audience? This is just, do you think that these two have any kind of romantic connection beforehand? No. I'm assuming not. I'm assuming she was at

the conference. He met her. He needed someone to help him out with this. And no practice whatsoever. She just called it. He called her up on stage. And now she is terribly uncomfortable and she doesn't know what to do. Loud music. Anyone who says, oh, it's too loud in those places, they don't understand how attraction works. This is so weird. This is the cringiest thing I've ever seen. Because it gives you an easy excuse to get closer to someone. Oh, he just leaned over and talked in her ear.

Oh, Chrissy. Can you feel the hairs on his beard just scraping against the side of your face? Can you feel my scraggly beard Cheeto dust in all Did you know Cheeto dust makes you transparent? Can you smell the Doritos on my breath? If they can't hear you, that just means get closer.

It doesn't mean yell. I'm magnetic to you. I love you! If some guy did this to me, I would be like, and? Yeah. What is happening? I've been to lots of bars where you lean over to talk in someone's ear,

but you do not do it, standing one inch from their face and not moving. Just staring. Yeah. And as you get closer to someone, those natural feelings come out more. My boner gets a little bit higher. Ak-hack. Chrissy. This is bad.

And it should be, once again, You've got this magnetic pull towards each other. You just want to get closer and closer so that every single... She's backing away. She said closer and closer. She took a step back or... At the time, you might get a little bit closer. On a date or anything, that's so funny, the overall distance just kind of closes a little bit more and a little bit more.

And you don't have to do anything fancy. Like what a plea? What are you going to do that too? What are you going to do, the moonwalk? I'm not sure what you're talking about, anything fancy. I want to describe this, because I know most of you listen to the show. I don't want to watch the videos, but I want to describe this to you. This guy is less than a foot and a half away from this girl's face.

His body is facing her, but she is turned sideways. The look on her face could not be, like she could not be more uncomfortable. She's horrified that she's up there. Yeah, she can't believe what she just, agreed to. She has no idea what he's about to do. And it feels she is so... She's like, this guy better invest in my company. I know. This guy better be worth it. I have 10 African companies that need funding immediately. I have to tell you that when he says, with respect to boundaries, being within a foot and a half of someone's space that you do not know at a bar. And staring without

blinking. Yes, staring without blinking. By the way, he has not moved his eyeballs. He is staring directly at her forehead the entire time while he's talking. This is not the way to physically approach a woman in a bar. I can promise you that. Because when you're feeling this, every little touch carries that feeling much more strongly. So if I lean in and our arms graze against each other, that's just going to... She has an instant orgasm. Did you see that instant orgasm?

Oh, Chrissie. Don't worry, Chrissing. Can you do an example with me? Stand up, Chrissy. Have more electricity to it. That's going to feel as good as anything in the world could possibly feel. No, I think that's wrong. I think there are other things in the world that could feel better than brushing against somebody's skit.

I mean, I would be laughing if I were her. Yeah, wouldn't you be heading for the exit? Yes. He's got her arms down at her side, and I lean in and our hands touch. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Hands have a lot of nerve endings in them. And so if I lean in and our hands graze, not only will that send that electricity through our bodies,

but I'm also going to get to gauge where she's at with this whole physical contact. thing. She jerks away and runs away. He's talking about this guy has no idea. Our hands have a lot of nerve endings. No shit. Really? This doesn't give you the right to touch somebody.

No. If I lean in, our hands graves, and she gets a little bit uncomfortable, she gets a little bit closed up. I can pile drive her into the ground. Smother her. Go back here. Hey! My nerve endings.

They were electrified. Nothing feels better in the world. I have nerve endings in my beard. Okay. Maybe she was being friendly. Maybe she's just kind of naturally flirtatious and sexual, but she doesn't want to get physical with me. Cool. How's that going?

Cool. How's that going? How's that not being sexual with me going? But if on the other hand, I get closer and our hand. Grace and she's still there. She still seems to enjoy it. She's not moving her hand. Then I can assume

she might enjoy a little bit more. Is he pulling her hand toward his cock? Yes. Yes. This sexual assault having live on TV. My cock has a lot of nerve in me. You know what else has a lot of nerve endings? My tasty testicles. God. Can you smell the Doritos all over me?

Holding hands is the best. Holding hands is great. All those nerve endings joining with that feeling. I cannot imagine walking up to a girl and talking in her ear and grabbing her hand to hold hands. I can't imagine it. Maybe this is why I need alcohol to get laid. It just kind of maximizes. It just kind of blows everything up to another level.

And you never want to stay like completely in. So blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Because then it's just going to start to feel a little bit overwhelming. Oh, like any of this wasn't overwhelming from the beginning. And you never want to keep your distance because then those feelings can never build. There has to be both poles present. There has to be intensifying and there has to be a little bit of breaking that. So I'll be getting closer.

I'll be able to read. My sexuality comes in waves. Get close. At first, I brush my beard against the side of your face while I whisper, sweet, nothing's into your ear. Then I grab your hand and pull it toward my penis. But there's a break. I've got to break the tension. I've got to build it up again.

Then I come back and I smother you. Physical she wants to get through the hands, through our shoulders, and everything else. And everything else. Especially the feeling. You've got to maintain the feeling. He's waddling back and forth. Oh, no. The weirdest.

Now, if this is all going well, if we're with each other, she's clearly very comfortable with the situation, she's flirting back. Oh, yeah, she looks clearly comfortable with the situation. By the way, that's all flirting is, if you ever been confused. All flirting is is speaking to someone else. Look at her. Did he just say that? Did he just say that? Flirting is speaking to someone else.

Yeah. I flirt with the lady who answers at the bank all the time. I'm flirting with you right now on the other end of this microphone. Did you notice that when he's holding her hand, she is not holding his hand back. He's actually holding her wrist. Yeah. Not her hand because I think he knows that he can't go in for the kill here with her. She's basically standoffish, as I would be too.

Oh, yeah, for sure. She must be blindsided by this whole thing. all flirting is is speaking to someone else with that feeling in your body with that sexual tone flirting is speaking with a boner He is so creepy He is

It doesn't matter what you say You can flirt with someone talking about breakfast No you can't What are you talking about? Hey Chrissy, did you notice they have bagels? Bacon You want to wrap that around my dick? What do you have for...

You want to? a bacon wrap ball, Chris? Bacon balls. Bacon balls. Breakfast today. Snack, crackle, and pop on this cock. Oh, yeah?

Love pancakes. My favorite. Words don't matter. They never did. Only thing that matters is the feeling. Words don't matter. They never did. It's got.

This is like a rom-com. Words don't matter. They never did, Chrissy. Oh, my God. This is the funnest. This is the funnest for everybody except for the poor girl. Yeah, she's mortified. That's right.

All right. We'll take a break and we'll come back with more of this. My darlings, my angels, my sweet little cherubs, it's that time again where I try to convince you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCV podcast. We really don't post that much. so it's no skin off your nose. If you'd like to get in touch with us directly, you can text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-4333-TCB. You know we are just sitting by the phone waiting with bated breath for you to call.

So please leave us and ask TCB, and we'll give you some mildly concerning advice. Peace and blessings. All right, we're back trying to figure out how to get sexual like a man with our friend here at the 21 convention. He's currently up on stage with a lovely young lady, and he's trying to give you an example of how to turn that conversation at the bar into something much more sexual, and he's failing at every level. Been receptive so far.

Getting closer. Pulling back. Yeah. So bad. Getting closer, pulling back. Getting closer. Pulling back. Getting closer.

Pulling out. Hands are all good. another thing that I might move towards is my hand on her hip hips are a very sensitive area the jokes make themselves

I don't even have to say anything honestly the jokes make themselves she just like would disgust at his hand she looked right down at his hand like I don't under I gave you no permission to touch my hip if a woman feels comfortable

with your hand on her hip You are golden. Aaron. You're in. You're going to pre-ejaculate, no doubt. It's very much just going to raise the tension, raise the energy even more. Come here to me. Come here. Let me grab you by the hips and pull you closer to my magnetic balls.

Once again, how do I do it? How do I touch? If you're thinking that you're doing it wrong. The only thing that matters is what feels best for you. you. Can you smell call of duty on my breath? What is going to feel the most amazing for you in that moment? Yeah, that's all you got to worry about when you're talking to another human being. It's what's going to make you feel most amazing in the moment. Well, paying close attention to how she feels as well. Okay. Well, we add that in. So I'm getting closer, talking. It's funny.

She is looking, ah, mortified. I think I'm, Christina, can you put a link to this video inside? Because I think the jokes here make themselves quite frankly, you have to start this video. Put a link in the video, Christina, if you could. And to the audience, start around minute number 21 or 22 on this video. And look at the craziness that is going on on stage. This poor girl is basically, I mean, if she's not getting assaulted, she's certainly in a uncomfort zone of epic proportions. Also, I'm going to point out that they started on the stage much further. To the right.

She has backed away slowly all the way to the start. To the left of the stage. They are 15 feet from where they started. And it's her moving backwards every time he touches her. Hands on the hips. Body's getting closer to one another. And she backs away again. Oh, spice spewing out of my pores.

J'Kron and wore on my dick ready to be had. I'm open, I'm yours, ready to be. I'm like a flower ready to bloom. When you're at that point, you're looking at each other's eyes. She's not looking at you in the eyes. She's looking down at the floor. It's almost impossible for a kiss not to happen right here. Oh, my God.

We're friends. Oh, no, don't do it. Please don't go in for the kiss. Please don't go in for the kiss. Please don't go in for the kiss. We're not friends. We're not really friends. We just met.

I've never been friends with anyone ever. Oh, no. Another big round of applause from that place. She is like, thank God. Oh, my God. Chrissy, that was like, honestly, I've never wanted something not to happen so bad in my life. Seriously.

He's like, that's how he's used. He's like, that's how you do it. Yuckles. Yeah, I'll be here all week. So that's getting sexual. There's no secret. There's no long, technical thing to remember. It's about practicing.

Who do you practice that with? I know, it's terrible. It's about training yourself to not get in your head, to not start thinking, what do I do, what do I say, to get in touch with those feelings in your body. And to allow them to come forward as they would naturally, as they have before when you weren't thinking about what to do, when it just kind of happened.

And this is something you can train yourself in. I always say, you want to get good at this. Flirt with everyone. If you just... You want to get arrested. Do what I just did with everyone. I always say, if you want to be on a sex offender registry list. Try to do something with the small percentage of women who you're attracted to,

but then you do the opposite, the rest of the time, you're always going to suck. It's impossible to get good if you're doing one thing 99% of the time and then only doing that thing you want to improve on the other 1% of the time. It'll never happen for you. So you're saying practice getting uncomfortable, practice getting in person, people's personal space every single time that you meet a girl, even if you're not attracted to her, try and hold her hand, grab her hips, give her a kiss. Yeah. Yeah, sure. It works for me, Chrissy. So I always say flirt with everyone. By the way, what happened on stage is exactly how I got

aster to marry me. Right. And not even in a way that, oh, I'm trying to get in bed with you, but just in a way that acknowledges, hey, when we're around. Hey, I'm practicing for someone I really find attractive. I'm leading you on so I can get with someone more attractive later on in the evening. This funny, natural, God-given thing happens in our bodies. We can't control it.

It's kind of silly. It's kind of funny. It might be a little weird. It might be a little weird. You put a punctuation mark on that, bro. But it's enjoyable, right? Waitresses. I've gotten so many free

just from flirting with the waitress. How's your day going? Yeah? What do you recommend on this menu? Yeah. Waitresses are giving you free items because you ask what they recommend on the menu? I've been doing it wrong the entire time, Chrissy. When Astrid says give them the Brian look, I should really go grab their hips and rub my beard all over them.

Older women. Flirt with older women, man. Older women. Man, they love it. Tabby cats. Post office workers. They're the best practice in the world. Enjoy their company.

Make them feel beautiful. Make them feel sexy. You're so sweet. I'm going to introduce you to my daughter, my granddaughter. Right? Look at the most charming, charismatic, sexy men. they flirt with every single woman, not just trying to do something differently when they're around someone they like. You have to practice this all the time. If you want to get good,

if you want to be considered a sexual human being, it has to be part of who you are, part of your natural communication. Sexual like a man. Well, Chrissy, I think I've been doing this wrong the entire time. I wish I had taken this advice long before because I would be a stud of epic proportions. You should have been going to the 21 convention. Just learned how to assault someone's personal space much sooner. Things would have turned out differently for me. Again, if someone, if the waitress is like, I'm okay, sir, I'm going to go back, great, I'll have the pancakes, thank you.

But if she's like, oh, you're so sweet, better be like, you're so sweet. And then she's like, no, you're so sweet. And then she's like, no, it's you sweetie that's so sweet. And then she says, no, you're so sweet, sweet. And then you say, I'll take extra syrup with my pancakes. You know how many freebies I've gotten that way? Just blow jobs right under the table. It works every time.

You know how many old ladies are giving me head, taking out their dentures and knocking one off in the bathroom? It's because I flirt with everybody. Everyone. How long have you been working here for? Doesn't matter what you say. I feel really bad for anyone that works at a restaurant close to the 21 convention. Any woman that works at a bar inside of the hotel.

That feeling that's being a exchange between the people. I wish it was still going on. that we could do a little reconnaissance mission down there. I know. Yeah, that would be like the best would be if we could go down there ourselves or somebody that we knew could go down there and really get an eye on what's going on in there. You know, I've looked at so many 21 convention videos, and I will say this, while 99% of what's being said at the 21 convention is not my type of content, there are a few speakers, a few speakers, especially toward the end of their run,

who were saying things that, you know, I could agree with, like, just about how to be a better human being and how to be a better man, a more... Yeah, that not specific tricks. Yeah, like, instead of like that kind of, you know, hyper-masculine message, more of like a softer approach to it. And I can agree with some of what's being said. But this pickup artist bullshit that they have got almost every one of those videos that I have watched is just terrible advice. For people who really need some good advice, I mean, if you're paying five, thousand dollars to go down there and learn how to speak with the opposite sex or the same sex or whatever i think you really need someone who's going to give you like some personalized hey dude

just be yourself like you know it doesn't happen every time you just got to you know be comfortable inside of your own skin and make somebody else feel comfortable inside of their own skin not grab them by the hips and rub your beard all over them that's a terrible piece of advice terrible and i can promise you i can promise you this guy has never ever used that trick at a bar and it worked. Never. Ever. He's not sexual like a man. He speaks a little weird too. I'm being honest with you. Oh, the 21. Oh, that 21 convention. So much fun, Chrissy. There's got to be another one that's popped up somewhere. Or I guess it's just now all YouTube stuff. Or people becoming Trump's advisors to Bitcoin. Bitcoin.

A lot of these people have. ended up in Trump's orbit. That's right. But that's because he's leaning into that kind of, like, you know, I don't want to, like, be generic when I say this, but kind of that, like, brotastic world. And so a lot of these speakers and a lot of the people from the 21 convention have ended up in Trump's orbit. And it's kind of interesting to watch it all happen as these guys kind of gravitate toward that messaging. What's his name again? I need to look him up. Who, this guy? This guy? Yeah. Nick Austin or something like that? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, something like that. Nick Spring? Nick, I just saw it. I'll get it for you. Nick Sparks. Nick Sparks, that's right. And now a lot of these PUAs are fighting online. They're all fighting online about who's got the best and who does it the best and who's scamming who.

It's really interesting. We'll review some more of that content coming up. All right, I want to thank everybody for dealing with me this week as I really am just going to be taken for a ride by my hormones, if I'm going to be honest. So this hasn't been the best week of the commercial break. Well, I'm sorry. That's just the way that it is. But at least it's a fresh episode, right? It's not a best of. Yeah. And I'm going to thank Christina for doing such a great job while we've been gone. I think she did a great job holding down the floor. She did fantastic. Yes. I know best-ups are not your favorite. I think she did a great job putting them together and making them interesting. So thank you

to Christina, our wonderful executive producer. Okay, 212-4333-3-T-CB, 212, 433-38-22. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. Also, ask TCB, and if you have a charity you would like us to focus on during the 12 days of TCB, please let us know so we can bet it out a little bit more and you'll figure out how that goes down.

On the 12 days of TCB, December 13 through the 25th, TCB Podcast.com, all the information, all the audio, video and get your free sticker, hit the contact us button, and request one. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, and YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I will tell you that I love you.

And I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.